Ask the Tarot: Writer’s Block, Sisterly Stress & How to Read Your Own Tarot
In this week's Ask the Tarot, we pull cards for querents with toxic family dynamics. This is a recording of our live Greenroom show from October 28, 2021. Follow @askthetarot on the Spotify Greenroom app to catch Michelle Tea live every Thursday at 6pm PT/ 9pm ET.
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Raven Yamamoto: Hey, guys, it's Raven Yamamoto, assistant producer at Your Magic, and welcome back to Ask the Tarot. Now you guys know the drill. This is a recording of a live Greenroom show from last week, October 28th, hosted by Michelle Tea. If you enjoy it, you can listen to her do it again live every week, Thursdays at 6:00 p.m. Pacific, 9:00 p.m. Eastern on the Spotify Greenroom app. Be sure to follow Ask the Tarot over on Spotify Greenroom to get notified whenever Michelle goes live so you don't miss your chance to get your cards read. All right, here's last week's Greenroom show.
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Michelle Tea: Hey, everybody. It's Michelle Tea. You are listening to Ask the Tarot. I'm your host, I'm the author of the book Modern Tarot. I'm the host of the Your Magic podcast right here on Spotify. Well, not on Greenroom, but you know, on Spotify. If this is your first time joining this room, welcome. I'm so psyched you're here. You can catch up on past rooms if you want for free on Spotify. All you have to do is open that app, search for my podcast, Your Magic, and that's where all the recordings of the live Ask the Tarot rooms are living. So make sure you follow Your Magic. Cool. OK, well, you know it's Halloween week. I hope everyone's feeling spooky in a good way. I'm really curious to know if anyone is dressing up in costumes. Please discuss in the discussion. I just today decided that I'm going to be a space alien, but like a cute space alien with like one of those bubble helmets because I am tragically one of those girls that just — I just want to look cute on Halloween. You know what I mean? Like, I have a lot of, have a lot of sympathy for the, those like girls that are out on the streets every Halloween. They're like really easy to laugh at because they're being like a sexy chef. You know what I mean? Like, they're taking something that's like a sexy nurse or sexy... I don't know... You know, building supervisor, I get it. I get their, I get their impulse. I think they probably have a lot of Leo and Libra like I do. Justice for sexy girls. Thank you, Vera Blossom.
OK. Before we start with the questions for the tarot, I have a question about the tarot that came in and I want to, I love answering those. So here we go. Let me see. That's not where it is. There it is: "How do you stay motivated while practicing tarot for yourself? I have a tough time reading for myself, and I feel like I don't get the reading right for myself and would love some tips.".
I relate to that. OK, so how to stay motivated while practicing tarot for yourself? So it's almost two different questions because there's practicing tarot, right? Because you want to learn tarot. And this is what I think — if you're, if you're trying to learn tarot and you're always only reading on yourself like you will have a tough time because after a point, the readings in my experience, they stop making sense because like you already did it, you know what I mean? Like, you gave yourself a reading, you picked a card for the day. But then if you keep doing it and nothing in your life has really changed, you know, if you're doing a bigger reading and but your circumstances haven't exactly changed, sometimes it's really hard to read what they are. I mean, I think it's a little challenging to read for yourself anyway. So I think if you want to practice tarot, what I would do is just like throw spreads and just pretend like if there was somebody sitting there, you know, what would you say to them? And then you're practicing linking the cards together, understanding how each card can sort of blend into the next card and what different cards mean when they're next to each other. So you don't always have to practice on yourself, you just have to practice.
As for, you know, getting a practice where you're reading cards for yourself regularly... You know, I would recommend just keeping it kind of simple. Pulling a card a day, and then you can really focus on that one card and you can really think about that and then maybe do a larger reading like, I like to do larger readings on the full Moon or on the new Moon. So maybe space them out, you know, and look for some of those full Moon new Moon readings. I like to write it all down because sometimes that just helps me think about it, helps it sink in a little more. So I don't know. I hope that. I hope that's helpful if — oh wait. Somebody is being dead gauge from Pet Cemetery. Oh my god, you guys are geniuses. Geniuses. Spider-Man. I love this. Oh my gosh, we got it, we got all kinds of stuff here. Keep it coming. I'm going to steal your ideas for next year. But OK, that's what I say about reading tarot for yourself.
And now let's get going with some, some tarot readings. Okay? Here we go. You know, I pulled a lot of family — people are having issues with their family. That's what we're reading for today. These are, these are questions that come in through my Instagram account. Feel free to DM me there. I keep you anonymous. Or you can raise your hand about any issue, it does not have to be your family. Just raise your hand and I'll try to get to you. OK? All right. So let's start with Instagram:.
"I have two years ago, my now 14 year old's biological dad abandoned them after we found out he was taking them on suspected drug runs with him." Oh my gosh, you're like, bye-bye. "My kid has mental health challenges like I do and some that are very different and connected to their biological dad. My kid is currently safe at a residential school, so they are not living at home at the moment. This decision was not made lightly and was heartbreaking as a parent. It came after a lot of violence directed at myself and my partner, unfortunately. We don't blame our kid. We just want them to get the help they need and support what that looks like. My concern is I have not heard a lot of 'success' — that's in quotes — "stories with borderline personality disorder in particular, and how that ends up continuing to affect a person's path over time. Because of this and so much trauma caused by their biological father, I am deeply concerned about how they will manage when they do come home. We have tried so many therapies, programs, et cetera, in the past. They have been active in therapy since six years old, when problems first started to come up due to their biological dad. And I won't ever give up. I would also be lying if I said, I am not at times scared for our safety because of the way our child handled things in the home when dysregulated due to these challenges." Oh man, this is so much. "My question for the tarot is what does it look like when they do come home? Are there ways I have not yet looked at therapeutically or spiritually or otherwise that would help them manage self-regulation? Is there another answer I'm not seeing? Is there something I'm not doing for myself?".
Oh, man. All right, I'm shuffling for you and I'm feeling for you, because that must be so freaking hard, OK? Because these are no, you know, I'm going to I'm going to pull all the cards because it's, you know, there's a lot of energy, there's a lot, there's this... Some things when you're just like, "Should I move, you know, to Boston?" Well, obviously the answer's no, but you know, say you were asking the tarot that you know, you could just kind of pull one card on that and just be like, "Let's just keep it straight to the point." But for these kind of big emotional questions, I feel like, you know, we need the support of more cards to give us some nuance. So I'm going to pull three cards for what's the energy when the 14-year-old daughter comes home? What is the energy around that? OK? And now, you know, you're, you're wondering, you know, how does, how does their — I'm going to see, what is the therapeutic sphere for her look like right now? So I'm asking that and now as we get positive cards, I'm going to read that as like, you know, it's good. I mean, you're doing what you should be doing. And if we get cards that are challenging, I'm going to read that, as you know, not necessarily that like therapy is very bad, but just like we're asking, is there more? And I'm going to take challenging cards as saying, like, "Yeah, maybe there is some more." So that's another way you can work with tarot, you guys. Just using them almost as, yes energy and no energy. Spiritually, I'm going to look at what does the spiritual situation look like around your daughter? And you know, is that... Is all being sort of cared for as well as possible? Or are there some gaps or just some different things that can be brought in to sort of give her more support? Oh my goodness. And is there something they're not doing for yourself? I really... My heart is going out to you parents, and I'm going to pull out my trusty Vessel. You know, my Vessel oracle deck that I like to use when someone is just in a shitty situation and it is just so hard. And so these cards are going to, you know, kind of... They'll point out if there's something you're not doing for yourself and they do it so gently and they'll also points out like what kind of energies are helpful for you right now while you're dealing with something that is so stressful and just must be so triggering on so many different levels because we love our kids. Oh man, OK. All right. Pulling out three cards from this oracle deck here.
All right, so what's the energy look like when she comes home? Oh man, it looks hard, OK? It looks like we got a couple — we got three hard cards here and you know the first card is the Princess of Swords in the Thoth deck. And she's really combative. She's really combative. There's no real way around it. You know, sometimes this card shows up in a place where you need to be combative. It's great to be combative and it's a positive card. But for what we're talking about, which is the home and, you know, hoping for peace, it looks like there's like, yeah, there's some combative energy with that Princess of Swords. The next card that comes up is this card called Indolence. It's the Eight of Cups, it's Saturn in Pisces and when the Indolence card comes up, it's like, yeah, I mean... Something... It's a little bit about like, there's like something's being neglected, OK? And so what is that? I don't - I don't know what it is because I don't know the whole situation. I just picked a card very quickly. I got the Justice card, the balance card. The vibe I'm getting, just having picked up that Justice card to help me interpret the Indolence card is that it's going to be a rough reentry for her. That balance card's gonna be a rough reentry for her. And so you don't want to overlook that. It may be more... It might just be rough regardless, but it looks like a rough re-entry. And so anything that you can do to kind of cushion that reentry into the, into the home would be really good, man. OK, and this is, this is an interesting card. The final one that you got here, it's the Four of Cups. It's called Luxury and it's like everything's really beautiful in this card, except the water that the cards are on is choppy. OK, so it's sort of like the water's choppy and so the cards can get knocked over. So I don't like that card with this question with these other cards, because to me, this is a card of walking on eggshells. OK, this is a card of like, "OK, everything's really nice now, but you know, soon a wave to come and knock all those cards down." And I mean, this is a great card sometimes when we need to be thinking about impermanence or if we need to shore something up. But you know, in this situation, it does look hard. I don't, I'm really I don't want to give a message like this from the tarot, but you know, this is what, this is what we're getting here.
Let's look at the therapy area. Is therapy strong? Therapy is really strong. Therapy is good. OK? You know, you got the Two of Swords, which is Peace, which we love, right? Peace of mind. We got the Nine of Cups, which is Happiness. It's actually really nice because the difficult cards and the cards that are talking about the difficulty of her coming back home. Princess of Swords, it's that, you know, her mind is not at rest. And then with this therapy, we get the Peace card. The Two of Swords. Very nice. And then, you know, the Indolence card feeling... It could also be that she feels neglected. Like even though you have not neglected her right? She might still feel neglected. The Justice card, sometimes it is about point-blank, right or wrong, even though it was the right decision for your family for her to go into the residential school. If she feels like it's not, you might have, that might be part of it. OK? So there might, there might be something where she just feels neglected and addressing that those emotions, you know that that emotional reality regardless of like, if, if that's true or not, it's true for her. If it is true for her, then then, you know, kind of talking to her about that. The final card in the, in the — I'm sorry, I'm jumping around. There's like so much information here. I want to get you everything because it's such an important subject. The Seven of Wands is called Valor, and it's, it's like a little bit stressed out and exhausted, and it's like, it's basically it's like, "Can I keep doing this?" And it's like, "Yes, you can." Like the answer is baked into the card, you can do it and you're going to win. So it is a good card. I wouldn't be surprised if there's maybe a little resistance to therapy or a little bit of like, "Ugh we've done this already. We've done this for so long." But you got to keep doing it. It's good vibes. It really, really is.
Spiritually, what's happening spiritually? Things could definitely get bumped up spiritually. There's definitely room for that. The Ace of Wands is there, but then the Nine of Swords, Cruelty and the Hanged Man. And again, I'm not reading that as that like, there's... You know, a cruel spiritual practice happening around her. Like I said, I was looking for challenging cards as evidence that that realm needs to be beefed up a little bit. So. So yeah, you know something... Yeah. Whatever, and I don't know what that means for you, you know, spiritually. But if you have any ideas of things that might help her calm her mind and sort of like access, access her life in a, in a more hands on like illuminated way. Just thinking of the Hanged Man.
And now you, parent. Now it's time for you. What? What is going to help you here, OK? The three cards that I picked for you from the Oracle deck, the first one is Truth. OK, so you just need to be honest with yourself about what you're seeing, what you're needing, what boundaries you might need to have come up, what boundaries you might need to have come down like it's just about being in that truth, OK? Because it would be really important. And then also like, yeah, I mean, this is for you, right, for doing for yourself. So yeah, telling your truth, speaking your truth. Important. Also, this is interesting. Begin. There's this card called Begin, and it's your centerpiece card in this poll. There's this beautiful red star in the middle, and there's all this sort of fireworks and hearts sort of shooting off of the star. Is there something that you want to do for yourself in regards to, you know, in general? You know, in your life, for your self-care to just know that you're, you're doing more for yourself than just sort of like I can imagine how much of your energy must go to figuring out all the situations with your daughter. But you know, so it doesn't... It can be self-care around this issue, or it could just be like, you know, I always wanted to take a frickin pottery class. I don't know, you know, just something for you. OK, what do you want to begin? If something is sort of clicking in your head? That's the thing. And then your final card is Structure. All right, structure is going to be good for you, so I don't know, maybe structure is going to help you begin whatever it is that you want to begin. Maybe there's a structured way that you can think of about expressing your truths, especially if they might be a little bit hard for people to hear. Maybe if you're a little scared to express your truth, creating a structure around how you do that might be helpful. So those are your, those are your three takeaway cards, OK? Truth, Begin, and Structure. I really hope that that's helpful. I mean, you know, a deck of cards is nothing next to dealing with our kids when they are struggling and, and we're at a loss for how so I hope that this just provides a little bit of insight that just, you know, helps a little bit as much as it can. OK?
All right. Let me see who has their hands up in this request... This is how you do it, you guys, if you want to ask me questions, raise your hand. I'm going to call on you the way right now, I'm going to call on Joanna. Joanna, unmute yourself. Hello.
Joanna: Hello. How are you? Can you hear me?
Michelle Tea: Let me see. Hello.
Joanna: Hi. Can you hear me?
Michelle Tea: Hello. What can I do for you? Or what can the tarot do for you?
Joanna: First of all, huge fan of the show. Thank you so much for having me.
Michelle Tea: Thank you.
Joanna: So I've been working in the field of mental health for a long time, and I'm getting kind of just a lot of messages that I need to leave my job, and I'm kind of torn between a couple of different paths. So one is I was thinking of opening my own private practice and have my own clients and have my own business, but I've always really wanted to write a book, and I was kind of curious to hear thoughts about what that path would look like as well.
Michelle Tea: OK, cool. So right now, shuffling asking, what does it look like for you to start your own private practice right now? And again, we've got to remember everything is timing, right? So even if you know the cards are saying no, it doesn't mean that that's something that never comes up for you. It just means, you know, the moment. So now let's look at writing a book. So would it be a book that's about like that draws from your mental health experience? Or is it like a different sort of path?
Joanna: Yeah, it would sort of be mental health focused, but it would be kind of like inner child healing and using some kind of memoir-esque kind of focus as well.
Michelle Tea: Cool, OK. Well, I don't know what the tarot is going to say, but I want you to write it. OK? Yeah. Are there any other paths that you're thinking about right now?
Joanna: Well, I do music as well. That one's always been a lot harder to think of as a career, but it's something as well.
Michelle Tea: OK, let me pick some cards and see what that, that music sphere looks like for you to sort of intend to give it more energy in sort of a more professional way, I suppose, right? And what would that look like? OK, I'm pulling up three cards right now. All right. So let's see first. What does it look like for you to go and have your own practice? It looks hard right now. The very first card that you got is the Two of Disks, which is called Change. It's the two — it's Jupiter in Capricorn. It's, it is not a bad card. I mean, it actually is a good card. It's talking about how change is generally positive, even when it's hard for us, as it often is for a Capricorn, which is why Capricorn's there. But then the next card you have is the Five of Wands, which is Strife, and that is the Saturn in Leo card, where energy is just blocked. You know, it's like, it's like when this card comes up, it's like we know what we want to do where we think we know we want to do it for some reason. It's like there's no place for us to plug our energy into. Things just don't go properly. And then the final card is Adjustment, which, you know, the Adjustment card can be — it's a riff on the Justice card. It can be a little heavy. I don't like this combination for a new business venture. I mean, you know, Strife is a red flag for sure. Change could go either way as kind of with Adjustment, you know? But with the Strife, it's just it's seeming like it's going to be a hard change to implement and the balance is going to be very hard to get right now.
My goodness, you got wild cards for the book project, OK? You got wild cards. So the first card is the Eight of Cups. It's called Indolence. You know, it just came up in the earlier reading. And when that comes up, card comes up, there's like there's just sort of something's being neglected and because of that, there's, there is like... There's a repercussion for that neglect. So, you know, what could that mean? I don't know. You know, have you, have you not been nurturing? Perhaps the... Well, let me just tell you all the cards for us, I'll come back. So after that is the Nine of Wands, Strength, which is great. It's, you know, Moon in Sagittarius. It's like, "Go for it." It's really, really good, big energy, really positive. But then there's the Tower, so... This feels like I'm like, "OK, so what the hell does this mean, OK?" I'm wondering if... so, have, is... Is writing an area of your life that you maybe haven't been nurturing very much like lately? Even though it's something that you're interested in, have you? Have you been nurturing it or no?
Joanna: I've had major writer's block. I used to write all the time and I just haven't. I don't know if it's the pandemic and just feeling creatively zapped, but it's been really hard to get back into it.
Michelle Tea: OK, thank you for sharing that because I'm just like, "What is the problem that the Tower — why does it feel so big? You know when, when the Tower comes up, right? So I'm seeing that like, you might be a little rusty with that Indolence card, right? And that, you know, it's kind of summoning yourself up to be like, "OK, I'm going to take on this big book project with that Strength card, that Moon in Sag overreaching as Moons in Sag's always do. And then you end up with the tower where you get frustrated, it doesn't sort of go the way that you think. And then it's like, it feels like a bigger catastrophe than it is because you've, you've sat down and were like, not, you know, you're not sitting down saying, "I'm going to reinvigorate my writing, practicing like, I'm going to write this book," you know? Which is and it's great to set a goal like setting a goal is a problem, except it might be right now. What I would suggest looking at this is I would suggest getting back into your writing process and building up, you know, kind of just getting more comfortable with what your process is. And I mean, writer's block, we all feel that that's just like, it's that resistance, and you just have to make yourself right through it and you just have to, you know, even if it's bullshit, you know, even if you're like, I know this stinks, you've got to do it anyway. I find that a lot of writer's block is just that internal voice being critical and just sort of like cutting things off before they can really, before you can kind of lose yourself in the flow of it, you know? So I would say it doesn't look like a good idea right now to start a book, but I'm encouraged in spite of how kind of rough this reading is. I'm encouraged by that Nine of Wands, that Strength card, that Moon in Sagittarius. I feel like that is that desire to write that is inside of you. You know, that is that desire or expression that like of wanting to say something and not wanting to be encumbered. So I feel like that needs to be nurtured and it hasn't been. And so I would say, start doing that. Do some, do regular writing, you know, even if again, even if you're just writing about like what you see out your window? Get back in the practice of it. Take a writing class. You know, like there's so many things that you can do to kind of like, get loosened up. And then I think that once you've kind of hit a groove, I would ask again about the book because I don't think the book is a, is a never no. It's a no right now.
But wow, it looks like music is really amazing for you. I just flipped those three cards and you have the Sun, which is very powerful and then the Universe and you know how I feel about the Universe. When that card comes up, I feel like it's literally the universe being like, "Ding, ding, ding. This. This. Yes, this right here." You also have the Five of Disks, which is a Worry card. So that's really interesting to me. I'm seeing that as like there's a lot of power and potential in music for you. But there's also like a fear like this could never support me with that Five of Disks. It makes sense to feel that way. And I think that it's not even wrong to kind of like, you know, move slowly and like, you know, not expect it to support you until it is supporting you and then be like, OK. But I think that if that feeling like, "Well, this will never support me, so I'm not giving it any energy," that's the wrong thing to do. You're supposed to be playing music. You're definitely, definitely supposed to be doing that. If there's a way you can do it and not worry about it taking care of you financially, just do it because you're meant to do it. It's in you and you're being called to do it. And then, like, allow it to sort of like, you know, more will be revealed. But yeah, you're right. I mean, it's not going to support you right now with that Five of Disks there. I believe that's true, but that's not the problem. The problem is that making you not do it. You've got to, you've got to make music. I would say it's even more important for you to make music than to do writing right now. Does that make sense?
Joanna: It makes total sense, and it's like the only creative outlet that hasn't been blocked.
Michelle Tea: It's far from blocked. You're channeling the universe. It's moving through you. That's, that's wonderful. I mean.
Joanna: Honestly, it was all really validating even the negative part.
Michelle Tea: Okay. I'm sorry I can't tell you just to blow off your job. I love telling people to blow off their jobs, but it looks like it's not the right thing for you right now. But, but yeah, there's so much creativity in you that that wants to come out. You're welcome. Good luck with all of your endeavors.
All right, let's move back over now to this. My questions that came in about family stuff. OK, here's another family question: "I am beginning the process of reckoning with a parent about their abuse of me in childhood. What's taken place so far has been positive beyond anything I could have imagined and I am optimistic about my own healing, regardless of how my parent reacts. The question is about my late parent who I felt safe with but did nothing to protect me and who apologized for never doing so shortly before he died. I have all of his old journals, and I am wondering what it would look like for me to look at them as part of my process versus not going there right now.".
Wow, this feels so, so profound and important. And also like there's so much optimism in this. I mean, I just think this is really incredible that this person is having a positive experience of having to reckon with childhood abuse. I mean, so often that's not the case when folks, you know, confront parents. So I'm so happy for you and let's see right now I'm asking the tarot, what does it look like for you to look at your late parent's journal? I mean, whoa, what a powder keg to have under your own roof or, you know, to have access to. It's like, "Wow, what a Pandora's box," right? What does it look like if you do do that? I mean, I can imagine it could be really validating. It could answer questions that you didn't even know you had. Maybe it could even give you compassion for your parent versus not going there right now. I love the right now, you know, like, it sounds like you're just at the beginning. There must be so much that you're processing and integrating and kind of psychically assimilating, you know? Maybe, you know, I can understand why it just might be a little too much, not the right time. What does it look like if you stay away from this information for now?
Okay, so here we go. Looking at it, looking at it, huh, OK, interesting. I'm going to look at both of them. Yeah, I would say this is a really powerful package that you have there, these old journals. And I would say that right now... You will look at these. I think it's actually going to be important for you to look at these at some point, but not right now. So for looking at them, the very first card here is the Magician, which is why I do believe at some point it will be really powerful for you. And it's a beautiful card, right? It's about like creativity and creating and manifesting, and it's a big witch card. It's just like you will be ready to work with the energies that are in that at some point. But, you know, not right now. The cards that follow the Magician right now are, again, that Eight of Cups that Indolence card keeps coming up tonight, like every reading so far. Saturn in Pisces. You know Pisces is so open, right? Pisces is so open and wants to be open, wants to have compassion, wants to feel feelings and then Saturn is like, comes down and is like, "You know, basically like, there's some consequences. So yeah, it's like and again, that idea of neglect in this card, it's like, you're not trying to neglect something in yourself by going into these journals, but you would be, you know? It's like your inner child isn't ready for it. And then after that, you get the Hanged Man. I don't like the Hanged Man in this situation. I mean, let's be real, the Hanged Man is often a drag, right? But it's a drag that we step into for a higher purpose. And I just see you sort of being in this sort of liminal space and I guess theoretically, it's for a higher purpose, right? But I don't know. I don't know how accessible that higher good is to you right now. If it was the reverse that, if it was the Hanged Man, Indolence and then the Magician, I'd say, "Yeah, I'd say, do it." But no, not the way that they are.
Now, if you, if you don't go there right now, you have the Ace of Swords, Success, and Gain. OK, Ace of Swords, it's a new, a new chapter in your life. All the aces are, the swords are mental activity, our thoughts, our thought processes, and communication. So again, you're at the beginning, like you said, of reckoning with a parent, this is very Ace of Swords, very Ace of Swords. And so I just feel like it's saying like, "Yeah, here at the beginning," and like, you can also make that pact with yourself right now, "I'm not going to do it right now." And then you get Six of Disks, Success. That's a big yes from the tarot saying, you know, you did the right thing and it's not, it's not an accident that you got these two very positive, you know, disk cards. I feel like these are so grounding. They want us to be grounded in our bodies. They want us to be grounded in our homes, in our lives, grounded with the people around us. So I just think it's time for you to just sort of ground yourself into this new era of reckoning that's happening. And then I think once you get your footing, you know, once you feel like some gains have been made with that last part here, the Gain card, Nine of Disks, it's Venus in Virgo. You know, when you feel like, you feel in a place where you feel very satisfied with everything that has happened, you know, with your parents who is still alive and you maybe have brought it as far as it could go, it might be time to look again. Because again, I do think you will look at this, but right now you've got so much going on right now, so you just focus on what's in front of you and good luck to you.
OK, so now I'm going to see who is here. Alex, how can the tarot help you? I am bringing you up, Alex. And make sure you're not muted, OK?
Alex: Oh my gosh. Wow, OK. Can you hear me?
Michelle Tea: Hi, yes, I can.
Alex: Oh my god. Hi. OK. I just got out of a long-distance relationship with a guy on Monday, actually, and he ended up being very dishonest about how he was feeling for I don't know how long. Yeah, and it's been so long and I was looking so forward to it. But anyway, I'm going to therapy, which helps a lot and, you know, reflecting and seeing how I can just like, notice red flags next time. But I am just wondering what my love life looks like going forward. I'm not like searching, necessarily, but yeah.".
Michelle Tea: All right. So yeah, coming out of a sounds like you feel like you were a little deceived. Somebody wasn't fully honest, their vision wasn't good, and you're hurt by that. Feeling really actively, therapy. So what does it look like? What does this, this love sphere look like moving into the next three months? I feel like that's usually around the timeline. So like, maybe either through the fall. Oh, all right. This looks good. You're definitely in a healing space. You know, the very first card that comes up is the Knight of Disks, and he's the only knight who is not, his — whose horse is not, you know, jumping up into the air or moving. His horse has all four feet on the ground, and it's a big card about being grounded and not moving, not making any moves. So as far as like, you know, initially for them, maybe the next month or so, I don't see you necessarily, you know, putting yourself out there. It's really about just like grounding into your life who you are, you know, what you want for yourself. Don't see it as like a lost period of time. It is not. I mean, the Knight of Disks. He's sitting on his horse, right? And he's got, he has a shield, and the sun is reflecting off of it and turning a hillside green. So it's all about how, like these moments where we have to just pause and take a breath and ground? They're super fertile, they're very creative, and they're really important for everything. They're important in and of themselves, and they're important for what comes next. So, yeah, so you just really like grounding into your life and then your next card is that Four of Cups, that that tricky Luxury card. You know, it's, it's Moon in Cancer. It's like, I see this as you know, you sort of getting more ready to be like putting yourself out there again and just like really wanting, you know, connection wanting emotional connection. But it feeling a little dangerous, like not feeling quite right. But here's the deal. Your final card is the Magician. And I love that. I love that this reading is capped off with such a like, you know, make no bones about it. There is like nothing. There's there's nothing like ambivalent about this card. It's a big yes, it's passionate. It's fun, it's like getting what you want. So, you know, I'm seeing this is like, you know, for the next month or so, chill out, ground... You're going to feel like, it's almost like you're like defrosting. Are you going to — you're going to have like feeling kind of come back into your heart again. But it won't feel right to do anything about it until it does. And then you're going to know when to kind of put yourself out there, whether that means you're just going to like, I don't know whether it's just sort of a different switch that gets flipped internally or actually do something like put yourself on an app or, you know, ask somebody out that you like. Whatever it is, I think it will be very active. It'll be about taking action, and you're definitely going to know when you want to do it. And I mean, when you're feeling trepidatious, just be honest about you feeling trepidatious. It's not going to last forever. You don't need to make it go away. It's going to go away on its own. Does that make sense?
Alex: Yeah, no, it totally does and yeah, especially that first card too. Because the next month I'm, like, really focused on healing.
Michelle Tea: I'm glad you raised a career because that Knight of Disks, you know, all the disks, they're all about career and work and stuff. So yeah. [fire alarm sounds]
Alex: OK.
Michelle Tea: Is that your beeper or my beeper?
Alex: I think it's yours.
Michelle Tea: Okay. Well, I guess... I wonder if you guys, it actually sounds like a fire alarm. I'm going to go run into my hallway and just make sure everything is cool. But Alex, I'm done with your reading. Thank you so much.
Alex: Thank you.
Michelle Tea: You guys, I'm so sorry. Hold on one second. How strange? Everything OK down there? Yes, great. You guys, everything in my house is safe. It's like, you know, all you have to do in this house honestly is like burn some sage or some incense and this happens. This is like witch — this is a real witch problem. But thank you. We are being safe. Our fire alarms work. That's the positive takeaway of that. So sorry about that little interlude, you guys.
OK. Here's another pretty serious family situation that's going on here. OK: "My question is, should I persevere and try to have a relationship with my parents? Would a face-to-face or a letter with my feelings help or make things worse? Do I just accept that I can't fix this and walk away or let it play out? Background: my sister has borderline personality disorder. She's mentally ill and irrationally detests me. This manifests itself as constantly badmouthing and gaslighting my parents. She lies constantly, runs up debts which they can't afford, but clear away. She threatened suicide a lot, and my parents are constantly on edge and tiptoe around her temper. When she's living away down south, my relationship with my parents is good, but when she's living at home, it severely deteriorates and their opinion of me is colored. This has gone on for decades." Ugh, sounds so painful. "They are massively stressed out and my dad vents at me as a verbal punch bag. I've taken it for years and years, and a few months ago I just snapped. I hate the toxicity. I have tried again and again over the years to try and improve things and failed. It does hurt me, but I'm ready to call it a day. My brother shut the door on my parents a few years ago. Should I do the same?".
Oh man, this sounds so good. I mean, I've never — I don't mean so good — this sounds like, so like, I'm, I'm never going to — I'm never going to advise a person to, you know, stay in a situation that is abusive without some sort of like conversation about, like, you know, what can you do with boundaries? Or, you know, I'm a huge proponent of the 12-Step program, Al-Anon. A lot of people think it's just, you know, you just need to have like a husband or a parent that's, you know, alcoholic or something. And it's not. It's just, you know, if you have chaos in your family and it's beyond your control, it can be a very, very helpful program. So I really want to recommend that.
So let me see what is exactly what does it look like if you have a face-to-face conversation? OK, see what that looks like. If you, it's, I'm so hesitant because it sounds like you've done that already, and it makes me think of that saying, you know, "Doing it, doing the same things and expecting a different outcome is the definition of insanity." So but, you know, sometimes you need to be able to say your piece for you, OK? And so that's what I'm really asking. Is it good for you to be able to speak clearly to your parents about what's happening? OK, now a letter. OK, how would that go? I mean, obviously, you know, best case scenario, we really want, we want them to hear you and to, you know, to validate your reality and to look at things maybe a little more with less denial or defensiveness. But we also just really want to know, is this best for you? Would it be helpful for you and your, you know, spirit's highest goals, you know, to be able to express this stuff? So what does that look like for you to do that? OK, pulling three cards on that? OK, now let me see, where are my more questions? Should you shut the door on them as your brother did? Should you? Should you do that? What does it look like? And you know, I've had time where I'd had to estrange myself, from my, my family, from my mother. And you know, it wasn't forever, but the time that, that I took, you know, when I did do that, I didn't know how long it would be for. I was open to it being forever and it was really important. I'm glad I did it. Sometimes you just need to take that space, you know? And, you know, indefinitely if need be. So let's see. What does it look like for you to pull back from this? OK. You know, I see the setting for folks. I mean, I think it's...
OK. Whoa. All right. This is like, this is, these are big things. The big thing... I said good early, and I just felt so strange to have such a strange slip of the word over something that's so clearly not good. But I was just feeling like it's... This is really big and it's good that you're dealing with this right now. It feels very correct that you should be dealing with it. You know, this is probably not shocking to hear that there is no excellent path out of this situation. How could there be? What I'm seeing here is a conversation. Yes. And also cutting them out? Yes. I think a conversation...
Let me just get I'll get the letter out of the way. The letter just looks like nothing. OK? The letter is Futility. Literally, that's the first card. It's Futility and then Strife and then Princess of Cups, you know? And Futility's a swords card and just like, "There's your, you aimed high and you know, there was no one there to catch you." And then Strife like I was saying earlier, you know, it's like it's just conflict and energy. Nowhere to put the energy. Princess of Cups is lovely. I think that's you. I think that's you offering yourself. The Princess of Cups is sort of making an offering of herself to those who she loves. So that's very sweet, but it doesn't look good.
Now, here is a very intense reading for you, having this face-to-face conversation. The very first card right out the gate, the Tower. How can the Tower not come up in a situation like this, right? This is the Tower. This is like when I think about, you know, abusive family dynamics, toxic family dynamics and the way that like people who can't deal, you know? The way they just kind of like double down on the denial and just try to, like, ignore the problem and hope it goes away, then the Tower, the Tower inevitably comes. It often comes in the form of, you know, that adult child who's like, Hey, I can't pretend that this isn't screwed up, you know, I'm going to say something about it. So. So, yeah, you're the Tower. You know, you're the Tower, your... But the Tower needs to happen, OK? It's like that eye needs to open. That revelation that things are bad really needs to happen. It looks traumatic for everybody. So I really want you to take care of yourself and like, I don't know, have all your friends just like waiting for you to, like, give you support or whatever it is that you need. Your next two cards after the Tower are actually really good. The next card is the Four of Disks, it's Power. Its Sun in Capricorn. It's a fortress, you know? It's, and then your card after that is Six of Swords, Science. It's a beautiful card. I think this is really good. You know, that's that, that aura of just power can sometimes be a little — a card that's of denial a little bit. If it's like two fortress-y, the Capricorn to shut off. You know what I'm seeing, though, because it's followed by that beautiful Six of Swords, my read is that you are going to feel really empowered by having done this, and it's going to make you feel really in touch with your capacity as a human. You know any, any ways that your family of origin have made you feel less than as a result of this like that gets kind of knocked down. And I feel like you're really in your power, which is really great. And then, you know, the Six of Swords in the Rider-Waite, it's that, you know, it's that family who are in a boat and they're moving, their fleeing in a country that is terrible for them. And they're, you know, there's like safety ahead. So it's about sort of like moving from hardship into something that's safer. So I love, I love that card for you. OK? I really I really do. So, yes, I do think you should talk to them. OK, that talk, you know, it might clarify. I think it's going to clarify a lot for you. I think you, I think that it's, it's like — it's 50/50. You might still end up taking space from that. You know, I think that the conversation will make it clear.
Taking space for them is that first card is the Knight of Disks, which is like a pause. Taking a pause, right? This is again the horse who has all four feet on the ground. He's not moving and he's just grounding and kind of taking care of himself, which is why you would do this, right? And then you have the Chariot and the Chariot is like, "Bye-bye, I'm taking off." So I feel like, you know, the Chariot is saying like, "Yes, like this is, this is very possibly a pass here. This really might happen. And then your final card is the Moon. OK, I, it's like, I, you know, I really feel like, I think a lot about destiny as a tarot reader. And I wonder, what are these cards even saying? Is our destiny set in stone? Are we making choices as our destiny? A sort of, you know, wobbly thing that sort of just ahead of us that it's not set until we do certain things? I really feel like that about whether or not you're going to cut your parents off. It's really hinging on this conversation, and I really hope that you have a healing conversation. I hope you don't have to cut them off, right? But if you feel that you do need to cut them off, if you're like, "I can't believe how poorly that went," do it. The Moon card, it's hard. You know you're going to, you're going to cut them off and question if you've done the right thing. You're going to feel in the dark and sad and you're going to have grief. That's all. That all makes sense. That's all in the Moon card. But you know, again, the Chariot is about being self-protective and making sacrifices that need to be made in order to get the life that you want. And you don't want a life where you know you are somebody's punching bag, you know, and, and it just sounds like such a terrible situation. And I just wish you and your family clarity and a lifting of denial and some, some light and some love. Good luck to you.
All right. Going back into the requests, your questions do not have to be about family. They can be about anything. Jasmine, what would you like to ask the tarot? Oh, she's not there. OK, let me go back. Athena? Is Athena around? Athena? Do you have a question for the tarot?
Athena: Hi, yes, I do. So this is about my oldest sister and it's a family question and as for the tarot, I'm very neutral about this answer. It's, it's just something that... Okay. So me and my oldest sister, we never had the best relationship.
Michelle Tea: OK.
Athena: Oh, it's always been on and off. She's a couple of years older than me. She's the oldest out of all of us. We're a family of five. So I have a child and she doesn't. So I just wanted to know, like we've been out of contact with each other for about two years now.
Michelle Tea: Mm-Hmm.
Athena: And there's been a point like when I was in high school, we didn't talk for like for, like throughout my whole high school thing. So like, we've done this before, but I just want to know if I should reach out and reconnect with her and try to like, really like nip it in the bud like, "We're sisters and let's fight this out and get and over with. Or should I just really like step away and not bother her until she's ready? You know?
Michelle Tea: All right. I'm shuffling right now asking, what does it look like for you to, you know, to be that person who makes that first move, you know? Which is can be such a great... It's so great if you're able to do that. There is a conflict between you guys right now?
Athena: Yeah, yeah.
Michelle Tea: OK, that would be — you would be basically saying like, "I want, I want to solve this problem?".
Athena: Yeah, because that's where my morals lie. But she really like, doesn't... I feel like, you know, I just can't get inside her head a little bit like, yeah.
Michelle Tea: All right. So what is it like for you to, to be that kind of, to be the bigger person in the moment and, and make that move versus, you know, what does it look like to let it ride for now? Again, more will be revealed. More will always be revealed. I'm not saying, you know, you're putting your sister off forever, but what does it look like for right now to not do that? You know, maybe check back in six months or something?
Athena: No, she's came to mind. So.
Michelle Tea: Yeah, no, I love that you did that. I love I mean, I feel like, you know, when, when I do these kind of shows where we're talking about family stuff, we all, I mean, who has, who has a family that doesn't have these currents, right? Of, of problems? And you know, history is that often, you know, there's, there's always somebody that needs to be looked at. OK, so you know something, it actually when you look at both them — oh, it looks great. It looks great for you to reach out to your sister. I'm happy to say. First card that comes up is that Two of Disks, it's called Change. So you're, you are. You're changing the dynamic. You're changing, you're like, just like you said, "I want to nip it in the bud." You are taking an action that really changes things. It's Jupiter in Capricorn. So what's interesting about that is Jupiter brings gifts. Jupiter is jolly. Jupiter is amazing. So because it's a Jupiter card, it is saying this is a good change, you know, and it is. It's good that you're reaching out to your sister. You care, beautiful. However, Capricorn does not like any kind of change. Doesn't like it at all, either way. So even though this is a good card and the change is positive, it is a change that is often initially resisted. So maybe expect that. Maybe expect, I don't know what your sister's temperament is like. I don't know if she's going to be a little sarcastic or suspicious.
Athena: Oh, girl. You know she's the whole package.
Michelle Tea: Okay. Well, it sounds like you know her well enough that this won't be a surprise. So don't, don't let that put you off is her first reaction is that your next card is the Princess of Wands. She is so, she has such a beautiful spirit. The Princess of Wands. She's fearless, you know, and to be fearless, it's, it's almost like when you're feeling fearless, you just you are afraid you're just doing it anyway, right? You're not letting fear rule the day. So she's allowing yourself to be vulnerable. She's naked, she's very intuitive. She has this antenna coming off of her, her head, and she's, she's burning her fears on an altar. So, you know, this is about you, like stepping into it and seeing your sister respond initially how she does and not letting that, you know, make you back off.
Athena: Yeah, I don't want it to crush me.
Michelle Tea: Yeah. Don't let her crush you. You know, just stay with it because your final card here is Victory. It's the Six of Wands. It's another Jupiter card, but this time it's Jupiter in Leo and Leo is receptive to Jupiter. Leo's like, "Oh, you want to party? I want to party too. Let's party." Whereas Jupiter and Capricorn. Capricorns, "You want to party with me, one party you want. Are you on drugs? It's very late right now. It's going to be loud. That's not, that's a different energy, but you really transform the energy and it seems like the energy is transformed by you. And you're — I feel like you are the Princess of Wands in this reading, and it's your fearlessness and your sort of purity of intention. You know? Like, you don't have any — you're not playing the game. You just want to reconnect. You don't want to have animosity with your sister.
If you ignore this issue and don't do anything about it, it, it just festers. It looks like it could really hurt your relationship, unfortunately. You have the Four, the Four of Wands, which is called Completion. I don't like a Completion card for this question, certainly not the first card, either. Your second card is the Seven of Wands, Valor. It's a very stressed-out card. It's like, it's, it's hard. And then it's the Queen of Swords, and I feel like that's your sister. You're, you're sort of being represented by the Princess of Wands. She's the Queen of Swords. Sort of cold, detached and ready to just, ready to just cut you off. So I like, I like that you're doing it. I'm sorry that you have to. Hopefully, you can have a real shift in dynamics this time around so that you know you're not the one doing all the emotional labor because that's not good either. But it does seem like, you've got it in you to be the bigger person right now. So you should do it.
Athena: OK. I like that. I love this so much.
Michelle Tea: I like it too.
Athena: Gives me some comfort, like a hug. Thank you so much, Michelle.
Michelle Tea: I am hugging you within and good luck. And I hope everything is good with you guys.
Athena: Oh, thank you.
Michelle Tea: You're welcome.
Oh, that's so hard. I, I have a sister and I just, I hate the thought of not being close to her. It sounds really difficult. OK, we have another family-oriented card. It's — everyone's problems are hard, right? It's a little, it's a little less intense than some of the other ones. OK: "I'm currently going through a really hard time and my future is murky. Long story short, I've lived with my sister and helped raise her kids for 15 years. I got super attached to my nephews, and now it has been decided a little contentiously that we should go our separate ways. This includes me getting my own place for the first time, which is actually a bit of a silver lining since I'm very independent. But my heart is aching over the death of my old life, mostly because of all the day-to-day stuff I'll miss with my nephews. I'm worried about how they'll take it. Side note: I got the Tower in a reading earlier this year, and this is one big bitch of a Tower." Aren't they all? "I don't really have a targeted question, but interested in what the cards have to say about what the future holds for me and my new solo/child-free life.".
OK. Wow. All right. I mean, there's just so much I don't know about this situation. The contention, you know, it seems like it's very hard to ask someone to leave after 15 years. And then also, you can imagine it maybe is really time to ask someone to leave after 15 years. So I really hope that those energies get sorted. But what does it look like for you? What does this new cycle look like for you? And again, this is not the rest of your life. OK, so don't get scared if you get a big bitch of a Tower again. It's just like, you know, immediately, you know, maybe the three months after you, you move out. Yeah, the Tower. That really is such a Tower situation, right? OK. What does this look like for you? It's good for you. It's hard and it's good for you. OK, you are independent. Your centerpiece card here is the Priestess, and I take that to mean a few different things. I take it to mean that this is meant to be, OK? I feel like the Priestess really represents destiny and our psychic ability and you might have known deep in your gut that it's time for you to do this. OK, it is time for you to do this. It does look really painful, though. The first card is the Eight of Swords, which is called Interference, and it's like you don't really want you. You know this is interfering with your plan. Maybe you didn't have a plan. Maybe somebody else making a plan for you feels like an interference with your plan. I don't know if you weren't, you know, if you just sort of... It says it's contentious. So I don't know if you had a different plan or you just didn't want to deal. I'm wondering a little bit if you were avoiding the situation, if there's any avoidance kind of in this in this story, but regardless of any resistance, you're supposed to move out. So embrace, embrace it, OK, and know that like you are... You're starting a new chapter of your life and it's going to be very generative. The Priestess is a generative card, you know, like at her feet, all kinds of things are growing animals, minerals, crystals, flowers, you know, it's very creative. Your final card here, though, is Queen of Swords. This is really an interesting card. I'm wondering if you're the Queen of Swords, OK? She is up on a cloud looking down at the world, and she's got her sword out and she's got someone's head in her hand and she's just chopped off their head. OK? There's no nice way to say it. So I'm wondering, you know, do you feel like, you know, is this your sister? Does it feel like she's cut you out? Is this you? Are you looking at your life now and trying to think about what needs to go? You know, I think that when we have a big change, you know, like a breakup or, you know, something like this, which is sort of, it's a type of breakup, right? Often, you know, it's the energy. It clears everything out that isn't working. So you might find there might be some other things in your life that you want to make some big changes with. You might be that Queen of Swords. But yeah, you know, the Queen of Swords... The contention. I'm concerned about the contention between you and your sister. You know it might sting for a little bit. I hope you guys can make up. That Priestess card suggests that that's possible. Trust your intuition about it. Trust your intuition.
Michelle Tea: I know sisterly stress, Athena. I see that this is the sisterly stress event. OK, I got four more minutes and then guess what, you guys, I'm going to like Universal Halloween Horror Nights at Universal Studios and once again getting chased by zombies. Very, very excited about it. But let's do some more reading before I do that. Jamie, you've been so patient and you've been such a great participant in the room tonight. Hi, how can I help you? I think you need to unmute yourself.
Jamie: Hello.
Michelle Tea: Oh, hello. OK, great. There you are. How can I help you?
Jamie: Sorry. This is my first time here.
Michelle Tea: Oh, it's OK. I know. It's like, you know, figuring out the tech is always a little, it's always a little glitchy. But here we are, and I can hear you. And do you have a question for the tarot?
Jamie: Yes, I do. I was relating to so much of the family stuff. I was kind of just sitting here like, "Oh my gosh." Also, by the way, I'm the person who was messaging you on Instagram about being an Aquarius Sun, Sag Moon.
Michelle Tea: Oh yeah. Just like, OK, you hear my astro sister. I'm an Aquarius Sun, Sag Moon.
Jamie: I mean, yeah, random question. Do you have a Libra rising too? Or is it just me?
Michelle Tea: I don't have a Libra rising, but my — I have a Leo rising and they are a little bit similar. And, but my Sun and my Mercury are in the seventh house, so I do have Libra energy.
Jamie: Oh my gosh, so cool. OK. Anyways, I'm getting so off-topic, but my question is kind of more of a career one. I'm a Spanish teacher, middle school Spanish teacher. I'm in my second year and I graduated college in 2020.
Michelle Tea: Congratulations.
Jamie: So, yeah, crazy. I can't believe it's already been like... Well, anyway, so this is my second year teaching and it's just been so hard. And my husband, I just got married over the summer and my husband is teaching at the same school that I teach at.
Michelle Tea: OK.
Jamie: And then come October, he's like, "No, like, forget this. This is way too hard." You know, and I'm kind of have... You know, my foot gingerly out of the door because it's been so stressful and I've had some panic attacks on the job, like and it's just been taking a huge toll on, you know, my mental health. And so I just kind of wanted to see if the tarot had some guidance from me on that. You know, like someone was saying earlier, like, it's really hard to read for yourself, and I'm still kind of new at tarot reading like I started like my senior year of college. So I guess that would have been about two years ago, but I don't know. I can't math. But I'm still pretty new at it. So I just, you know, I've been kind of wanting to have like a third party or someone else who can, you know, check that out for me.
Michelle Tea: Yeah. All right. So this is this sounds like it's a basic, "Should I stay or should I go," question, is that right? Like, what does it look like if you just listen to all the signals your body is sending you and get out of this work that you're doing versus what does it look like if you stay there? It sounds like if that is the case, you would have to definitely find some, some ways to manage your anxiety. But is that — that's what you want to know about? What does it look like if you leave, right?
Jamie: Yeah. Like, I have some parts like I've wanted to maybe go back to school for library science. Or I recently got a lump sum of money from a car accident, so I was wondering if I could invest that to maybe something more creative. I started gym rapping and, you know, tarot reading and, you know, writing on and off. But I've had some writer's block. Yeah, especially due to the pandemic and just, you know, I don't have time for anything but being a teacher. So, yeah, those times have pased. Like, I know that's a lot, though, so we can stick with this.
Michelle Tea: No, no, no it's fine. I just pulled three cards asking you to go back to school, OK? And now I am picking three cards asking, what does it look like for you to just sort of invest in the creative work that you're doing and see — since you have a little bit of a cushion — see if you can work towards monetizing that more and see where that leads you. So pulling three cards on that. Are there any other parts school investing in sort of creative stuff? Is there anything else you'd like me to pick on? Do you want me to pick cards for staying at the school that you're in?
Jamie: I, you know, I'd be curious on that because I... I got myself more involved from year one to year or two, and I started a cross-country team and I coached that.
Michelle Tea: Oh, wow.
Jamie:And so, yeah, that's been kind of something that's like, you know, it felt good, but it was more stressful and it was just laughing. So yeah.
Michelle Tea: Let's see. All right. So going back to school looks a little hard, but not terrible. Let me see. I want to... Hmm. They're all a little bit... They're a little murky. So here's — let me talk it out because obviously it often, you know, becomes more clear when I'm talking about. So the path for you going back to school, you know, actually the card in the center that's throwing me is the Sorrow card. So that's really interesting that there's like this... There's something that feels like, like a failure or let down about it. Or did you not like school? Do you feel like, "No, I can't go back so quickly," or something like that since you just kind of got out. On either other, on either side of that, though, it's the Nine of Disks, Gain and then the Chariot. So those are really good. I mean, that actually looks really good for going back to school. Like it would be good for you, like in a sort of career way, right in in the way of the Pentacles. But there's something about it where like, you don't want to, maybe. Is that true? Do you have a little bit of dread about going back?
Jamie: I do, because, yeah, I just got my history degree and my last semester of college was when the pandemic started. And like, it just felt like the rug was ripped out from under me pretty much ever since then. And so, you know, it almost feels like I'd be, you know, setting myself up to just continue being exhausted.
Michelle Tea: Yeah. Well, I don't think that you would. I don't think that you would become exhausted. But I do think that it's, you know, it's a little it's a mixed bag. It's a mixed bag, but it's ending on the Chariot. It is saying, like if you were to kind of make that sacrifice, you know, you would be set up, you being a really good position at the end of it. It would be very good for you. But it would be a little hard.
Now, now kind of like doing creative stuff that looks really interesting. It looks like it's going to be a big relief for you. And your very first part is the Princess of Disks. And she, you know, she is defined in a big way by just having come through a horrible past. It was a really difficult so like, you know, whatever you're going to end up doing, you know, with your money or with your creative time, your first thing you're going to do if you leave school, if you leave your job at the school, you're just going to take a breath, you know? But she's pregnant. So it is a very creative card, you know, you definitely have a lot of creative energy. And then the next one is the Four of Disks, which is Power. And I actually do like that for, you know, talking about a sort of business pursuit because it's Sun in Capricorn. So it's like, yeah, you can figure this out like you're good at this and you actually can figure this out and it can grow some legs like the fours in the tarot, you know, especially the Four of Disks, it's like — Good night, Athena — it's the four of disks is like four legs on a table. So like, you can actually do this in a way that it feels stable. Your final card is throwing me a little bit. It's the Adjustment card. I think that like... I think that the path I'm seeing here is that you're going to take it so far and it's going to be good and then you're going to have to... You're going to come to some sort of crossroads where you're really going to have to figure out, how do I level this up? What's the next move with this?
So that's that and now for staying at your job? I mean, the only reason for you to stay at that job is if you can take it over. Can you take it over? You know, the first two cards that I see, it's the first part is that Four of Cups, that Luxury card. And again, I'm thinking, I'm feeling it's a walking on eggshells card. Like, sometimes it's good. Sometimes it's really not good and you can't predict it and that probably really feeds into your anxiety. The next card? Yeah, the next card you have is Queen of Swords. Is there like a really difficult personality that triggers your anxiety also?
Jamie: There's a lot of that.
Michelle Tea: Oh my gosh.
Jamie: Particularly my eighth graders, they're like... You know, I have a lot of students who are really kind, but some are straight up mean and I'm not used to that and I'm not really good at interacting with people. So it's that side of the job that has that walking on eggshells.
Michelle Tea: It's really interesting. The Queen of Swords takes no shit. She is just like, "Absolutely fucking not," you know? And then the next card you have here is the Queen of Disks. And she is also like, she's a queenly queen. She is sitting on a pineapple and she's just looking out onto the world that she owns and she's just like holding a globe in her arm like she's got the whole world in her hands. And she's also a Capricorn. So it's sort of like... It's almost like in order for you to stay there, it's like you've got to like, become... I mean, you don't wanna be a bitch to a bunch of middle schoolers, even if they started it. But it's like you... You need to sort of access a different side of yourself that is more thick-skinned. And that can actually be a bit of like putting somebody in their place when they need to be put in their place. You might not want to do that. It sounds kind of awful. I don't think I would want to do that.
Jamie: Yeah.
Michelle Tea: OK. I feel that. I understand that. It looks like, OK. Yeah, I mean, you want, I think, getting out looks good. It's yeah, well, I just pulled the two of card — the Two of Wands for you getting out, which is Mars in Aries and it's all about, "Me, me, me, take care of me, I've got to take care of myself. I got to take action." And yeah, I would say, you know, more is going to be revealed about like, you know, your, your path beyond this. But it does look like giving yourself a little bit of a breather and seeing what you can do with this creative work that you've been doing, you know, and this sort of it sounds like, you know, witchy work that you've been doing. It looks like moving in that direction... Yeah, those are, those are the steps that I would recommend from these cards.
Jamie: Oh my gosh, that's crazy. And it's crazy how you pull those Capricorn cards because [unclear].
Michelle Tea: Yeah, you're supposed to be your own boss. You're supposed to be your own boss. People who have a lot of Capricorn, they need to be able to like, call the shots and have a lot of control over their work environment. And there's nothing wrong with needing that. And you probably do need a lot of control over your work environment, which is probably really confusing because as an Aquarius Sun and a Sag moon, you probably really like people. You want to be around people, you're drawn to people. But at the same time, and people are unpredictable, but you, you need a level of control. And you know, at least adults are more predictable than middle schoolers. They're most unpredictable.
Jamie: Oh, for sure. Yeah. OK, wow. This, this is so affirming, and February is when we actually decide to, like, renew our contract.
Michelle Tea: Interesting, OK.
Jamie: So I feel like for now, at least, this is saying I shouldn't sign my contract.
Michelle Tea: It is saying no. It's saying that it's not... It's not what is right for you. Yeah, no. You need a new beginning. You need — I just picked, I just picked the Ace of Swords. So I would say no, unless there has been something that changes drastically in the intervening time, which honestly, I wouldn't be surprised. So keep us posted just because, you know, I kind of..., This is a big decision, and I wanted sort of bigger cards for you. So I wonder if there's something still at play that's going to reveal itself. But, but if that doesn't happen, I think yeah. Just sign your contract. So sit on your money and, and see how you can start monetizing, you know what you want to do creatively?
Jamie: Wow, OK. And I guess for a second, because in one of my decks, I pulled the Ace of Pentacles and I thought when you said Ace of Swords, I thought it was that.
Michelle Tea: They're different. But honestly, I mean, you know, swords, swords are more about contracts, and the Pentacles are really about your employment. But, you know, aces in general, they're new beginnings. So it's time, you know, for you to have a new beginning.
Jamie: Yeah, wow. Oh my gosh. Thank you.
Michelle Tea: Good luck to you. OK. All right, you guys. I'm nine minutes late to get to Universal and get chased by a zombie, but I really want to thank you for trusting me with your problems. Thank you for being here live on Ask the Tarot. I'm going to be live right here on Spotify Greenroom next Wednesday. Going back to Wednesdays, I'll be here every Wednesday. And that's at Nine O'Clock Eastern. I'm going to keep, we're going to keep that new time. So it's going to be 6:00 Pacific, 9:00 Eastern. And remember that you can always listen to this one if you want to hear it again in all the previous live rooms, right on Spotify just by searching for my podcast, Your Magic. And, and check out Your Magic because if you like this business, you'll like that business too. Thanks for listening, and I'll see you guys all next week.