Ask the Tarot: Creativity vs. Capitalism
In this week's Ask the Tarot, we pull cards for tortured artists. This is a recording of our live Greenroom show from October 21, 2021. Follow @askthetarot on the Spotify Greenroom app to catch Michelle Tea live every Thursday at 6pm PT/ 9pm ET.
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Raven Yamamoto: Hey guys, it’s Raven Yamamoto, assistant producer at Your Magic and welcome back to Ask the Tarot. Now you guys know the drill: This is a recording of a live Greenroom show from last week, October 21, hosted by Michelle Tea. If you enjoy, you can listen to her do it again live every week. Starting next week, we’re back to our usual time: Wednesdays at 5pm Pacific/8pm Eastern on the Spotify Greenroom app. Be sure to follow @askthetarot over on Spotify Greenroom to get notified whenever Michelle goes live so you don’t miss your chance to get your cards read.
Alright, here’s last week’s Greenroom show.
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Michelle Tea: Hey, everybody. This is Michelle Tea. You are at Ask the Tarot. Thanks for coming. If this is your first time joining this room, welcome. I'm psyched that you're here and I want to let you know, you can catch up on everything you've missed so far for free on Spotify. You just have to open Spotify and search for my podcast, Your Magic. I do a podcast. If you like this room, you'll probably like it. That's where all the recordings of our live rooms will also live over there, so make sure you follow Your Magic and then you won't miss a reading. You won't miss any of the, you know, cosmic fun and funny things that happen on this show. And you won't miss me. So follow Your Magic for free only on Spotify.
And now in the meantime, let's get cracking. All right. What are we doing today? Today, I have pulled together a bunch of questions that came in to me at Instagram. Feel free if you want to be long-winded, if you want to be anonymous, you can send me your problems on Instagram. Also, if you want to just raise your hand here in the room, I'll call on people so you can do it both ways. But I got a bunch of questions about people's creativity. You know, people wanting to know what to do with their creativity. And so I grabbed some of those and I thought that'd be interesting to do a batch of them.
So here's the first one: "I'm a young artist in my local area. And as most artists, I hope to make a full living from my work. When the pandemic hit, I finished my theater associates and had jumped to study IT as a Plan B, but soon realized that wasn't my real interest or calling, and I chose to study film instead." Good for you, man. "There has been my home for some time, while film is a new world for me, but I think I have some talent in it. I've also wanted to study vocal music as advised by my music professors. I have gone in and out of a crisis trying to figure out my career and hoping I will be successful at it. I don't want to wake up years from now wishing I listened to my parents. Am I on the right path? Should I continue to study any or all - or all of these things? Should I even continue school and get my bachelor's?".
All right, there's a lot of questions. I mean, this is a big question. I think especially for younger people, people who are still, you know, getting an education. It's like, do you study something? You know, I don't know that you can make a buck at. You know, that can do you just kind of go whole hog into the arts? I mean, the arts is an industry that supports people in lots of different ways, you know, even if like you don't make it, as, you know, a Broadway musical superstar, there's so many other jobs in the arts and in theater, so I don't know. And also, I kind of — look at I'm shuffling the cards as I give my own two cents, OK, you know, this is what I like to do, you guys. So, you know, I kind of think that when you commit yourself to something, the universe sort of gathers around you and helps you keep going. That's kind of what I think. It's not that outrageous to - to want to have your career be in the arts. But as somebody who does support themselves from the arts, I have many times been like, "Is it too late for me to just like, get a job in a corporation?" I want like regular money and health insurance. It is hard, OK? It is a hard path. It's - it's not a time — there's less support, less structural support for it in our culture and sometimes that's a good thing, and sometimes it's not so. All right. What does it look like for you to keep on the art path? Okay. To - to not look back. What does it look like for you to not look back, to not have a Plan B. You know? You know, they say if you have a Plan B, you'll use it. You know, do you want to have art be your Plan A and Plan B and your Plan C? I'm picking three cards on that. Now, should you continue to study all these things, let's see. What are you looking at? Theater OK, I'm doing a quick shuffle. What does theater look like for you to keep putting energy into theater? I'm doing one-card readings for this because you have a lot of questions, which is fine. Sometimes we have a lot of questions, you know? OK, film, what does it look like for you to put energy into film and see what that looks like? Okay, boom, what does it look like for you to study vocal music? That's cool. It's nice that you have a professor supporting you. I mean, that must feel it must give you some confidence. And should you continue school? What does it look like if you do? What does it look like if you continue school and get your bachelor's? OK, I'm going to do a bit of a more involved reading for that. It's like a bigger question, I'll do the three-card for what does it look like for you to continue school and get your bachelor's?
All right. So my little artistic friend, let's see what's going on here for you to keep doing what you're doing. Yes, it looks good, and I knew it would. OK, your centerpiece card for this three-card reading is the Chariot. Yes. You just, you know, be prepared to be tough about it. Be prepared to make this — I say that because you know, the guy or the - or the gal or the, you know, ENBY gender-nonconforming individual who's riding this - this chariot. They're wearing armor. So you know, you might have to defend your stance a little bit. You might have to toughen up. You know, there's sometimes you know, in the arts, nothing is certain. This character is also holding a bowl of blood. It talks about sacrifice. You might have to make some sacrifices, but it is a glorious card and it is about the glory of the battle and of your triumph. So it's like a positive card. So it's like, yes, you're already doing it. You're on the road. The other cards that you got on this. You've got the Queen of Swords. She is seeing the big picture and she is sort of mercilessly and in a very detached fashion, she's cutting away the shit she doesn't need. I don't think you need a degree in IT, right? That's not something you need. I think she's up there looking down and saying, like, "No, you know, that's someone else's life. You know, that is someone else's life." And your final card, and I really like that, is the Nine of Disks. Love a good solid disks card for like a career reading, right? And it's Venus in Virgo, which is really interesting, right? Because Virgo is all about purity, right? It's about kind of a purity, a singular purity of intention. And that's kind of what we're talking about. Do you not dilute your intention with, you know, what if's, and I'm going to study this and study that? No, you're going to be pure about your intention. You're going to study art, right? You're not going to dilute it. And it's Venus which is love, right? It's also beauty and aesthetics, which, you know, art falls under, and it's called Gain because it's about resources coming at you. So you will be able to make a life in the arts. I love that. I love saying that to you.
Now let's see about these very specific disciplines you're curious about. What's the first one, theater? Ooh, the Emperor. Yes, you rule in theater. Theater is very good for you. Very strong. You might very well become a leader in theater. You have tons of energy and you feel I — my guess is you feel alive and like yourself when you're doing theater work. Oh, film also looks beautiful for you. Three of Cups, Abundance. Yes, it's a really lovely card. Abundance is, I mean, you know, all these kind of arts you're talking about are very collaborative, but I'm really seeing how, you know, with film, it's a lot about collaborations, a lot about supporting other people and having them support you. The Three of Cups is beautiful. It's Mercury in Cancer telling stories that are really meaningful to you. I love it. Vocals you get the Eight of Disks for vocals. It's called Prudence. I mean, you know, compared to how, like, really sensational the other two cards are, this is a kind of a buttoned-up, not the most creative. It's a very cautious card. So it's interesting. I mean, I think — here's what I think. If you want to study vocal music to sort of, I don't know, pad out your resume for, you know, theater and film, then do it. But it's not - it's not your number one. Theater is your number one. Film is right up there also and vocals, you can kind of do it or not do it is what it looks like to me.
Now, should you finish school? Let me see. Absolutely. You absolutely should finish school. Your very first card that came up Six of Disks, Success, right? That is like, you can't — that's hardcore, OK? That's like, that's like the tarot. Just like speaking very directly to you. So it'll be very good for your future success if you finish school. You have the Prince of Swords here, too, OK? The Prince of Swords is like, he's strong. He's like a little stressed because his chariot is not working, OK? He's in a chariot and all the princes are in this, the Thoth deck that I use. And it's not working and it's because the little guys he has pulling his chariot, they're just - they're too weak for the job. He's recognized this and he's about to get rid of them. So what about school isn't working for you? I think it's your doubt, right? I think it's the doubt that I mean, it's very easy to have self self-doubt, even if nobody's encouraging you to. But you know your family, even though they are trying to look out for you, are actually encouraging self-doubt. That's not their intention, I'm sure, but that's one of the results. So I feel like your self-doubt, getting rid of that and going to school with this real gung ho like, "This is an industry. This is like a bazillion dollar industry, the arts, and I can find my place in it, you know?" And knowing that you can. And then you have also your final one and I love this, Two of Cups, Love. You're doing what you love. This is your one human life. I mean, maybe not. Maybe not. But you know, let's just say, let's just go with, you know, what we can bank on here. This is very likely you're one human life and you should spend it doing what you want. You shouldn't spend it doing what somebody else wants you to do. You clearly have a love of the arts. You clearly have a talent for it. It's clearly your destiny. I'm very happy for you, and I look forward to seeing your art in the world. OK?
All right. Let me see. Has anyone raised their hand? Yes. Stacey, I'm going to call on you. Unmute yourself. And how can the tarot help you today?
Stacey: Hello. Hi, Michelle.
Michelle Tea: Hi, Stacey.
Stacey: Thank you. So I journaled about this before the show started, and it's so wild how similar this question is so I either have like really good timing or [unclear]. So I'm actually pretty established in my tech career and if I stay with this, there's more opportunities that are, you know, pretty sure. But you know, it's not... It's the kind of career that's grown on me over time and it does support a really comfortable lifestyle for me. But for the past few years, I've been feeling really drawn to Feng Shui and maybe consulting in that way and doing that kind of energy work. And right now, I just feel like the time to decide where to put the focus and my energy, like whether I should really like dive into my career a little more or shift my focus into Feng Shui and maybe purchasing and that sort of thing. I don't know what that path looks like.
Michelle Tea: Let's look, let's look at what it looks like. So first, since you're already in your job and you're established and there's one for you to grow, I'm just going to pick on that first. So I'm shuffling saying, what does it look like if you put for now, this is all for now, but for now you continue to grow this career. Let it take care of you. See, see what it brings you. And you know your - your interests and talents in the Feng Shui realm are not going to go anywhere. So, you know, they'll still be developing and percolating. But what does it look like right now for you to focus on your tech career? Picking three cards. And now what does it look like for you to not do that to start start - however, it looks for you, whoever it works, to start withdrawing your energy from your tech career and looking for somebody to apprentice with so you can learn, you know, what does it look like to have a Feng Shui business, you know, and like, grow your own talents in that realm, as well as just like learning the nuts and bolts of like what it takes to actually make a living doing it? What does it look like for you to take that seriously and put your energy in there?
Okay. So for keeping your job, staying at your job, you don't want to. You really, you don't want to. You don't want to stay there. But listen, you should stay there for now. You have a complicated reading. It's clear that you don't necessarily want to be at your work anymore and whatever — I'm saying that because the very first card that came up is the Three of Swords, Sorrow. You're just, you know, it's - it's Saturn in Libra. Libra wants, you know, beauty and love and harmony and Saturn's like, "There's responsibilities here," you know, and that's what work is feeling like to you right now, I'm guessing. It's not - not something that's harmonious energy, but something that feels like just a big responsibility for you.
The first card that comes up for - for moving into the Feng Shui right now is the Four of Swords. It's another Libra card. It's Truce. And so to me, that's saying like, yeah, you know that you're making a sacrifice by doing that, but you're willing to do it. You're willing to make that sacrifice. So from there on, the story's really changed for both of them. So for staying at work, even though you really don't want to, that Sorrow card is very, you know, it's really up for you right now. The next card is Peace. It's another Libra card, all these swords cards and for - for this Peace card, it's like, that's you sort of making peace with it. It's like the tarot's acknowledging like, this is not what you want to be doing right now. But if you're able to just sort of make peace with its imperfections, the next card you get is that Gain card that just came up for the person I was reading for before you that it's the Nine of Disks. It's Gain, it's Venus in Virgo. There's still more for you to get from this path, like you're not done with this path yet. And I say that because the next cards that are for your Feng Shui path right now, again, not forever, but right now. After that, Truce card is the Knight of Wands. He's really impulsive. He's like, "I'm going for it. Fuck it. This is what I want to do. I'm just doing it. No one's going to get in my way." And then you get the Tower. So the fact that it ends with the Tower, to me, it's like it's just not the right direction right now. It's a little too impulsive and what you're giving up with that Truce card, what you're feeling OK about giving up, I feel like you might not really realize what you're giving up right now. And that's because that there are aspects of your career or rewards within your career that haven't revealed themself yet, and they will.
It definitely stinks. So, I mean, I want to say I want you to follow their dreams all the time. But you know, realistically, we're balancing so many things that we're balancing the demands of capitalism, the demands of our families, the demands of our creativity, you know, the demands of our autonomy. So, you know, we don't always get readings that are like, you know, follow your bliss right now. It's like, follow your bliss, maybe a little bit later. Right now, what the tarot is saying is make peace with your dissatisfaction and ring everything you can ring out of this work that you're doing. There's more for you there, and it's not not worthwhile, it's not not meaningful to you. Does that make sense?
Stacey: Yeah, yeah, really does.
Michelle Tea: But you know, absolutely, always keep - keep on with the Feng Shui. Keep learning more. You know, like, it just looks like to go out on your own with it right now isn't going to have the - it's not going to bring you to the place that you want to be with it. Okay. Wishing you so much luck, Stacey.
Stacey: Thanks.
Michelle Tea: You're welcome.
So you guys, Stacey just raised her hand and I called on her and I'm going to do that. I'm going to alternate between these, you know, these questions that came to me at my Instagram at @michelleteaz with a "Z," and I'm going to go back and forth between them and you. You don't need to have a question about career or art. Your question can be about anything.
But here's another art question, OK? Really, it's a people question, kind of. "I recently bit the bullet and pulled myself out of a show and theater I got roped into the beginning of this year. This theater has become the center of a lot of pain and dread for me due to the director of this theater being overbearing and manipulative and their personality and how they treat people, always preaching family and love and trust. You either love or hate her. I was blind to it at first, but began to notice it after some of my other cast members privately called it to attention. After that, I had a really hard time settling and being in the theater space or performing. It's even affected me to get comments on my personal page by this director, even though they were kind. After a tearful therapy session, I sent an email and had a talk with the director mainly lying to get myself out of the show. But then I immediately began second-guessing and regretting my choice. I could never figure out if the issues were her or me. Did I make the right choice? Will I emotionally be able to work there again? Do I just need time to heal?".
Wow. Well, I got to say before I start pulling the cards, you know, I've got to put my two cents in. I just want to say... I'm a little — there's some red flags in this, in this for me, and I'm not saying I know what's going on or that my red flags are correct, but I just think you didn't notice anything was wrong until somebody started telling you about it and it just makes you wonder if they're a little shit stirrers, you know, like. Are people sort of trying to like rustle up some drama in a theater? What? It just says, you know... where's this part that I'm looking for? You're like, "Is it her or is it me?" And I'm wondering, or is it these other people? Are they being manipulative? You know, not to make what's already a difficult situation more difficult by putting my own paranoid thing into it. But I don't know. What do you guys think? Does it sound a little like that, or am I...? Do you think I'm off base? I'd love to hear in the comments what you guys think.
Let's answer the questions with the tarot, OK? If the issues were — did you make the right choice by pulling away from this theater and this director OK? Sounds OK. Sounds a little gaslit. Sounds like a little gaslighting. Yeah, a little gaslight-y? All right. Let's see. Did you make the right choice pulling away? I mean, maybe the director just has a bad personality. Sometimes people aren't that devious, they just are annoying. I don't know. All right. Let's see. Let's see. It is really the other kids do win with the drama. You know, it is always a little triggering. I think when people like in a workplace or something or like, "We're family." I'm just like, "Why do you think that's a good thing to me?" Like, you're making a lot of assumptions right now. Families are complicated. OK, so here we go. I just picked three cards on like, was this the right thing for you? OK? Will you emotionally be able to work there again? Let's see. What is it like for you to go back there after some time has passed? OK? Let's see... let me see. I mean, also, artists are sensitive people, right? I mean, you're... This person is probably, you know, once you do pick up on an energy, you're like, "Oh, now I can't not be feeling this energy all the time." Do you get that too? What does it look like if you just give you — OK, well, you know, being able to work there again after healing, let's see what looks like.
OK, so first question, did you make the right choice? Yeah, you did. You did make the right choice, OK? You got two major arcana cards, which those - those tend to be pretty big yeses if they're unless they're like big no's like the Tower or something, right? But just like somebody got earlier, you got the Chariot. OK? So it's like, yeah, you did the right thing, getting the hell out of there, you know, being like putting on your armor, putting on your protection. The Chariot is the chariot of war and when the card comes up, we do win. But there's a little bit of a fight, a little bit of a struggle, and it sounds like you were really in it, OK? Adjustment. There's that Libra card. The Adjustment card in a situation like this is really interesting because it is that sort of like, you know, how there's that... Libras are famously, like, indecisive, indecisive. It's the scales, right? You're like, "Ooh, I added a little to this side of the scale. Now I need to add a little to this side." And it's sort of like can be like that with like second-guessing yourself, right? But what if this? But what if that? So you see that Adjustment card as you really just trying to make a really correct decision for yourself. And I'm getting that as a sign that you did actually make a correct decision for yourself. And finally, your final, "Yes, you did the right thing." Eight of Wands. Mercury in Sagittarius, Swiftness. This is a beautiful card. It's really about like honesty and truth and speaking your peace, speaking your truth. There's a rainbow in it. Mercury in Sagittarius. Like, they're not going to let anything hold them back. They're absolutely going to say the truth. Even if they put the foot in the mouth. You know, it's - it's worth it. So and it's about things moving really quickly, incorrectly. So good for you, good for you, for doing what you needed to do.
Now, do you even want to go back there? That's another question, but what does it look like if you do someday? Oh, jeez, I don't know. I don't think it's a good idea for you to go back there. I think that something would need to drastically change. Listen, if things feel drastically different, like basically if that person leaves, right? If that person leaves and a new director comes on and it feels like brand new fresh energy, then you can do it, but not a moment sooner. Your first card here: Ten of Swords, Ruin. You know, all the - all the knives in the back. I mean, this is... That is a card that really encapsulates the kind of situation that you're in right now, right? Where there's like gaslighting and manipulation and backstabbing. So yeah, I think no, I think that's a big no. But then there's the Lovers, which is really interesting. The Lovers, it gives you a choice, you know, a choice that you need to. It's like you're committing to something. When the Lovers card comes up and this is your love, theater is your love, right? So I wouldn't be surprised seeing this Lovers card followed by the Fool. That's what I'm looking at. I wouldn't be surprised if something changes, and maybe that toxic environment clears out and you're invited back. You know, you might be invited back. And you know, if you are, you got the Fool card. If it looks like that toxic environment has been cleared out, go for it and be that Fool in the beautiful way where you're it's - it's a new beginning. It's springtime in the theater. You get to be there, you get to kind of take a chance or if, like this director maybe doesn't leave, but like, actually, you know, wakes up to their behavior and is accountable and responsible and apologetic in a way that feels real, you know, not just like, "Oh, I got caught being a jerk," you know, but if... You know the Ten of Swords, you know, it's the end of something, right? It's the end of something that's been very stressful and painful. So it could end with, you know, this person leaving. It could end with you leaving and never coming back. It could end with this person having to take a hard look at themselves. In a way, you know, it's probably the least likely, but it is sort of the best outcome, right? That somebody would learn that their behavior is not acceptable and take responsibility. So if that happens in a real way, do it, you know? But otherwise, I fear that that Fool card is is literally - literally you being legitimately foolish. OK? And we don't want you to be that, so stay away from that theater.
OK. Let's see who do we have here? If you have a question for the tarot, raise your hand. I'll try to get to you. John Anthony, I'm going to call on you right now. You can unmute yourself. Hello, John, are you there?
John Anthony: Yes, I'm right here. Can you hear me?
Michelle Tea: Yes, I can. I can hear you great. Hello.
John Anthony: Hi. Oh my god. I'm so excited that I would get a chance to do this.
Michelle Tea: Oh good, I'm so glad. What can I help you with?
John Anthony: OK, well, I recently just lost my car and also my last period's job for 13 years. I've been applying... Yeah, I've been applying for several jobs recently. I ended up getting a little bit of a health condition called gout, where my wrist...
Michelle Tea: Ugh. My grandfather had that.
John Anthony: Yeah, really?
Michelle Tea: Yeah. It's awful!
John Anthony: So it's not what I usually work with. I'm not able to do it anymore. So I decided to let it go and start up fresh. So I let go of my car, let o of everything because I was behind on everything. But I've been getting several interviews and there's just one job that I really, really hope I can get. And it's by helping with, you know, with furniture and doing, it's kind of like you rent your own kind of deal. And I feel like I'm a good candidate. So I'm trying to see if any of these jobs that I applied for are going to like, come through. I'm like, you know, kind of worried.
Michelle Tea: OK, let's look at the energy around some of these. We'll start with the furniture job, since that's obviously the one you seem most excited about since you talked about it more in-depth and you said you seem like you feel like you're a good candidate for it. I'm going to pick, I'm going to pick on that job, the furniture job. What's another job you have - that you have...?
John Anthony: It would have been with a bank called IBC as a teller that would be really what I was hoping for as well.
Michelle Tea: Okay, let me see what this banking job looks like for you. Is there another one that you're interested in or just these two?
John Anthony: These are the most two that I'm really looking forward. There was one that had also called me to do like loans and stuff for people. Well, that would be the third, in case.
Michelle Tea: Let's see what the loaner looks like, I mean, I got to tell you, John, I don't even really want to shuffle for this loan one because I flip the cards on the furniture one and it looks awesome. It looks really good. OK, so listen, your first card is, guess what, the Chariot, you guys, it's like... It's like the night of the Chariot. Like, everyone's getting the Chariot. I love it. And you know, the Chariot is you might, I don't know if you'll have to do another interview. Or maybe, you know, the "war" part of the Chariot of war is just about that you've been struggling, you know, and you've - you've been struggling and you're just - but you're not giving up and you're like getting, you know, doing the interviews and putting yourself out there. The Chariot is... You win with the Chariot, you know? You get what you want and then the next card is the Prince of Wands. And that is the Leo card. It's beautiful. It's fun. It's a yes, it's creative. It's just like, you know, it's - it's Leo at their best where it's like you just feel like, you know, everything was meant to be and you're very happy and very fulfilled. It's a great card. And then your final card is the Star, which is like wishing on a star. These are Big Yes, Big Yes Energy. When we're looking for like, yes or no. It looks really great. It looks like it could really be... Not only does it look very, I mean, I take this as, yes, you'll get this job, you'll get this job. But it also looks like it could be a portal to something that's even more meaningful for you, that ends up being something that's really wonderful.
Now for the bank job, I get to tell you, it's really - this is really funny, the final card that came up as Wealth. And I'm like, right? Because it's a bank job. It's like, it's like a card with all this money on it. It's so funny. But listen, the first card that came up for that is the Ten of Swords. So it's interesting. And I mean, that's a big no. But then you — after that — you got the Priestess and Wealth and those are really great. So, you know, the only way... I'm reading into that, that like, yes, you probably could get that job, but it's really not the best job for you. The best job for you is this furniture job.
John Anthony: I felt the same way, and I feel real strong about that, too.
Michelle Tea: Yeah, well, you know, I'm really hoping that this comes to pass for you sooner rather than later. I just - I just flipped the three cards for the loan. They're really bad. It's the Tower, Prudence, and Satiety. It's - it's - that's not a good match for you. This other work, it's going to be like you at your best.
John Anthony: Well, this is great news. I'm actually very happy to hear that,
Michelle Tea: And I've gotta say that you've got the Chariot and you got some, you know, the prince of - the Prince of Wands is in a Chariot. I feel like not to be so on the nose about it, but I think it could be you getting your car back or getting a different car, too, so.
John Anthony: I was discussing that with my father and stuff like that about getting a new one. Wow. That's also good news.
Michelle Tea: Yeah, it looks really good for you. So I'm really happy to tell you that.
John Anthony: I'm so excited and thank you. I appreciate this. This gives me more confidence and more calm and feel like I can really afford for this. Oh, I'm so excited.
Michelle Tea: Absolutely. Roll in there like a Leo, like you own the joint.
John Anthony: Sure.
Michelle Tea: OK. Have a good evening.
John Anthony: You too. Thank you.
Michelle Tea: All right. Let's go to another art question that I have here on the docket. Here. This is a - a teacher and a photographer. "In June, I made the decision to resign from the teaching profession. I taught middle school English for five years and middle school art for two. It wasn't just the pandemic that did me in, but just the general bullshit that goes along with being a teacher in America today." OK, this person is dropping some truths. "I love working with teenagers modeling, being vulnerable, and celebrating authenticity. Sharing my love of creating with them. Helping them find what they're passionate about. Navigating the messy terrain of being a teenager, etc.. Being an educator is part of my human blueprint. But over the course of the last three years, I was becoming more burnt out, resentful that I worked 55+ hours a week and couldn't financially support myself." Guys, this is insane. "For real, I'd have to call one of my friends occasionally to meet me at the gas station near my school because I hadn't had enough gas to get to work in the morning, but not enough to get home in the evening." Oh my god. Does that just make you hate our culture so much? Like teachers are incredible. Like, none of us would be doing anything if it wasn't for teachers. "So I started to respond to things in anger. I'm not an angry person, and that particular emotion drains me like no other.
Six years ago, at the end of my first year teaching, I started a photography business. I've taken my time and really learned the craft. Now, I think it's something that has the potential to take care of me in a professional sense, but I'm scared. Teaching offered a consistent paycheck every two weeks and I had health insurance. I don't have either of these now — those now — and as a double Cancer, Sun and moon, that lack of security is hard for me to sit with." Oh yes, I mean, listen, I feel like we all... Everyone who's like trying to make their living off art, everyone needs to get together and have a support group because it is really so touch and go. You don't - you don't have that security, and that is the hardest part of it. I really think so. All right. Let me see. "In the process of rebrand — I'm in the process of rebrand - rebranding because my business was called, "She's a teacher of photography." Whoops. And building a functioning, functioning website. I've also picked up some part-time work at a chocolate store." Cute. "The owners are perhaps the nicest people on the planet. They're super supportive and offer as much flexibility with my hours as they can. But it's very little money for the hours that I work. I'm realizing that time is everything and I really need it now more than ever.
So here's the question." Thanks for the backstory. "Should I stick with my part-time work while I grow my business? Or should I just roll the dice and dove headfirst into my personal business? Sometimes I feel like the time I have to give to the store could be used better. But what I make there offers me a little bit of financial security. Although it's a small paycheck each week, it's still a paycheck each week, you know?" I do know. I do know, says the person, who will write an article for $50. OK, "Question two, is my photography venture the right one for me. Will I eventually be able to make a living as a working artist slash photographer? And three: my final question, which isn't related to any of this, really, but I've been marinating on it for a few years, is this: Should I write the book I've been thinking about for a handful of years? I've mentioned it to my parents, and they're very put off by the idea. It would be a collection of memoir vignettes.".
Oh my gosh. Listeners don't ever ask your parents if you should write a memoir. They will say no unless, like, they're a writer or something they've already written about you. And then they might actually say no anyway. Yeah, no don't. Don't ask them. No. Because some of my childhood trauma would be on display and they played a role in them. Of course, they did, and that's why we write memoirs to work with that childhood trauma. OK, wow. So many questions. There are really good ones. So what does it look like... Because there are so many questions, I'm not going to do my big three cards. I'm going to do one card of asking the tarot, you know, give me a big, strong card for each one of these questions. OK, listen, I want to tell you guys you can use the tarot like that. It's all your intention. You know, you can say, Listen, tarot, spirit, friend, whatever you whatever mysterious thing you are, you know, I need a real hard card like a real... Nothing, nothing, you know, wishy-washy, yes or no here. OK, so what does it look to stick with part-time work while this ex-teacher grows into her business, picking one card for that? OK, what does it look like if this person just rolled the dice - dice and dives headfirst into photography? Sorry, nice chocolate people, but no. OK, let me see... What does photography look like to just keep putting the energy into the photography venture? OK, what does it look like specifically for making a living? What does that look like to go towards making a living as a working artist? OK. And what does it look like if you sit down and write your memoir and don't say a word of it to your parents. We won't tell them either, OK? Your secret is safe.
All right. Let's see. So the card that I have here for sticking with the chocolate shop... It's the Empress. That's really beautiful. It's very beautiful. And I mean, for somebody who has that much Cancer. You know, Cancer, oh, it's the mother card. It's nurturing. It's — I mean, I'm sorry, it's the mother sign. It's the nurturing sign. And the Empress is like the big - big mommy card. You know, I just feel like this is like it's taking care of you. These people are really nice.
Now, what does it look like, though, for you to just dive in headfirst? Queen of Disks. OK, that's really good, too, damn. Listen, I would say both. And how does - how does it work to do both, right? Because it is a really, "one or the other." I would just say, like, just maybe keep shaving away, keep shaving away at the chocolate and keep, definitely dedicate more. Cut your hours. Do something. Do something like don't cut off the chocolate store entirely. There your mom. They're like your mom right now, but for you doing it on your own, you're the Queen of Disks. And that's the goal, right? This is.. She is the biggest boss bitch in the tarot. She's amazing. She is who you want for your career stuff. So for her coming up, you know, it's only that the Empress is like this beautiful, positive major arcana that I'm not saying, yeah, dive in. I'm saying, do what you can do to do both. Definitely give your work more. Give your personal work your photography, work more energy and sort of wean yourself off of the Empress. OK? That's what you want to do. You want to wean yourself off of the photo - off of the chocolate.
OK. Photography for you is the — oh, you got the Prince of Cups. It's funny. I almost didn't even pick anything for this. OK? For this question, because you are already doing photography, you've been doing it for a while. So why this question? But I think the question is you need some validation and some confidence. And it's interesting because the card that came up is the Prince of Cups and especially in this Crowley deck, he is so torn. He's afraid to make a bold move. There's a lot of fear and apprehension because the stakes are high. So it's like, "Yeah, I'm going to say it's a no-brainer that photography is the thing for you," right? But - but it's like it's really hard for you to commit to it because it is so... You really are walking away from security in a way when you do that, and that's hard, OK?
Will you be able — will you be able to make a living as a working artist? You got the Happiness card. OK? Yes, OK. You will. That's a really great card. And you know, these paths, they twist and turn, right? I don't ever want anyone to think that I'm selling some vision of a stress-free life and no problems will ever arise. You know, it's like you're going to have to navigate stuff. But you know, I'm thinking with the tarot saying, will it be worth it? Is this your path? Is this your path to happiness? Yes, it is. You've got to go down it.
And the memoir? Oh my god, yes, you got to write this memoir. You got the Lust card. So the Lust card, you know, if this was a relationship question, then it would be a sexier card than it is. But you know, for a memoir about trauma with the Lust card is saying it's Leo and it's lust for life. It's passion, it's being alive. So in your memoir, you're going to be talking about, you know, all of the pain and struggles and hurdles and triumphs and joys of - of your own life, right? And that's what we all want to read in a memoir. So that's a beautiful, passionate, rich card to get. It's a yes, and it's super creative. It's Leo, and Leo is a sign of creativity in the zodiac, so I think you're doing awesome.
I just - I think, you know what? I think that the chocolate store is training wheels for you while you are still in this Prince of Cups mode. As you gain confidence, I believe you're going to know when to take the training wheels off, to get off the chocolate teat of the Empress and go out on your own. OK, I like this story. I like it a lot.
Okay, let's see. You know, anyone who just have jumped in, we've been going since we got — we've been going for a little over a half-hour. This is Ask the Tarot. We're doing tarot readings. You can catch us live here on Spotify Greenroom, usually on Wednesdays, but we're doing like spooky Thursdays right now. And you know, it happens at 9:00 p.m. Eastern. If this was your first time with us or if you've missed a past room, don't worry. You can check out each of our previous live rooms on Spotify. Like all of them. Everything you've missed so far, it's free. It's only on Spotify. You can just open your Spotify app, search for my excellent podcast, Your Magic and follow us. And yeah, and that's how you do it. OK?
And now I want to see who's waiting for a reading? Bandit? Who's this Bandit person? You're on. Oh, it's a band. Oh my god, am I going to pull tarot cards for a band? I think you might be muted. Check and see.
Adrian: We're here.
Michelle Tea: Hi.
Adrian: My name is Adrian, and I'm sitting right next to Sydney.
Sydney: Hi.
Adrian: We're the guitarist and the cellist for this band. So we've been - we've been at it for seven years, but the last year and a half have been really particularly packed kind of actually since the start of the pandemic. We've just been really busy with creative projects. We've recorded an EP. We did a bunch of theatrical stuff and scored a film and all that stuff. Sometimes it's felt kind of overwhelming, this life of like being a band plus, and we're about to kind of go into a less active moment. So it's giving us a time to like consider how to move forward. And so I guess the question that we want to ask tonight is like...
Sydney: Do we like continue down the path of a sort of traditional band going by like sort of the traditional band trajectory of, you know, recording, touring all of that?
Adrian: Trying to do another album?
Sydney: Or should we focus more on these sort of branches out that we've discovered in the past year of like more writing pieces for theater and, you know, other works like that and creating more sort of out-of-the-box kind of things?
Michelle Tea: Cool. What great — this sounds - this is so great. I love doing this. What great options you guys have. So first, I'm shuffling the three cards. What does it look like for you to focus your energy primarily, if not entirely, on the traditional band trajectory? Like you were saying. Like making another album, touring, promoting your - promoting your album, the things that bands do to get us their music and to make a living. What does it look like for you to have that be primarily where your energy is going right now? Or what does it look like if you turn the dial down on that and decide, maybe that's not so important and you put more of your energy into these little offshoots that still engage you creatively and just sort of maybe broaden the idea of what you guys can do creatively together. Let's see what it looks like to focus more energy in that realm. Okay, I'm picking three cards on that.
OK, so for the trad band path, let's see. You got the Two of Wands, Ten of Wands and Knight of Cups. It's a mixed bag, it's a mixed bag. Dominion is Two of Wands. So like clearly, I mean, that's a really great card. It's Mars in Aries. It's so active. It's super on fire. It's like that - that route is absolutely available to you is what that's saying. It's like you guys could just get on that path and just be like blasting off on it. But then your next card is the Ten of Wands, which is called Oppression. And it's sort of like, "Why did we think we wanted this?" Is the gist of that card. So it's... But then after that, you get the Nine of Cups, which is Happiness. So to me is just saying it's a real love-hate, you know? Like there's there's parts about it that would feel really good for you, and there's parts about it that are going to feel really frustrating.
Now, what does it look like for you to do this other stuff? Gosh, it's so interesting. You got a lot of court cards, which makes me think, you know, there's like other people coming in. The first card is the Two of Disks, which is called Change. So it's really saying that it would really be a big shift, even though it sounds like it has been more what you're doing lately. It's - it's some sort of like a... The shift of deciding that that's really where you're focusing your energy is going to feel very different to kind of really pursue that more actively. And then you have the Knight of Cups, which is very beautiful. The Knight of Cups is making a sort of romantic gesture, a romantic offering. He's like this chivalrous knight, and he's holding up this beautiful chalice and it's a lovely card. And it's - it's I mean, you know, it's Cancer. So it's I think there's something really to the sort of community aspect or like what you're able to give of yourself in this way that it probably feels really nice and you feel appreciated and probably have collaborated with people that you really appreciate. It's just like very nice energy. There's also the Knight of Swords, it's your final card, and that Knight is also very — he's a great Knight. He's very focused, he's got two swords out, he's like flying through the air and he's got these little birds flying with him. So there's part of this is also about being supported and having support.
So this is a funny reading because clearly the vibes of - of going, you know... If you go... The traditional path is not perfect for you. But I also wanted to see — I wanted to see stronger than court cards for the alternative. But these court cards are really good vibes, you know? Are there particular people that you work with that you would be creating with or collaborating with?
Adrian: It's kind of a mixed bag. It's like it's open. There are definitely like opportunities for us that have arisen already, but it also feels like it could be things that we like, people we don't know yet.
Sydney: Yeah, yeah. It's — the core group is like the three of us and we do like to bring in, you know, certain - bring in other people and experiment with that too. So yeah.
Michelle Tea: I kind of think that there's space for you to do both, honestly. But I think you're like, "No, there isn't." But it's kind of like, OK, so that traditional musician path, like the centerpiece card for that is that Oppression card, and it's glaring and it's strong. It's like a strong, bad vibe, but it's flanked on either side with Dominion, which is it's a very like, self-created card and then Happiness. So I'm looking at that and I'm thinking that the straight traditional route, no. But what is the like...? How can you tweak it? You know, what is like the modification you can make on that path to make it feel like you have more autonomy and you're happier? Like as it is like super traditional, I think the answer is no, but I think there's a way to do it your style, that's a little bit different. You want to figure out what's oppressive. You know, what do I not — what aspect of this do I just not want to do and don't do it, you know? Yeah, but and meanwhile, yeah, do you keep putting more energy. I think the Change card there, I think, is saying that like it would be a shift for you to put more energy into these collaborations and these more one-offs. But I think it'd be it's going to be very fulfilling for you guys. Yeah, yeah. It's kind of hard.
Sydney: The community aspect, that - that makes a lot of sense for us.
Adrian: No, definitely.
Sydney: Thank you so much.
Adrian: This is such a beautiful thing.
Michelle Tea: You're welcome. I'm going to look for your music and I wish you guys so much, so much luck and success.
Adrian: Thanks, Michelle.
Michelle Tea: You're welcome. Bye. Oh, my God. That was adorable. Once I got to read tarot cards for like a writer's room, you know, a bunch of writers that were writing a TV show. That was really fun. It's fun when you're like, "Oh, everything has a path," you know? Like collaborations have their own path. It's very, very cool.
All right. Let's see what we have here. We have another writer. "I'm about to turn 26 and I'm an aspiring writer. I've been writing short stories and fiction manuscripts for a few years now." I'm going to interrupt and I'm going to say, you're not an aspiring writer, you're a writer because you've been writing, and that's all it takes to be a writer is just to write. You probably aspire to have a bigger career, and in that sense, I think all writers are aspiring writers, LOL, but I think you're already writer. But anyway, let's keep going. "You've been writing short stories and fiction for a few years now. I haven't had any luck when it comes to publishing, but writing is the only thing I want to do, and it's always been my dream to be a fiction author. Lately, I've been feeling hopeless and wonder if I'll ever get published. My question: Should I keep writing and push through this funk? Should I go to grad school to sharpen my writing skills? Is there a third option I'm not seeing?".
Oh, I love that question. I often think that in my own readings for myself, and when I'm reading for other people, I'm often like, "Oh, is it really, you know, black or white? What else is going on?" I'm sorry it is hard to get published right? It is hard to get published, but people do get published. OK, so why not you? That's what I say. What does it look like for you to keep writing through this? OK, OK, keep writing for the love of writing for the way that it brings you closer to yourself, for the way it brings meaning into your life, for the way that it gets the stories that are in your head, out of your head for the way that it connects you to a lineage of humanity. Other people who've had this strange desire to write your part of us, we're all together. So what does it look like if in spite of this publishing funk, do you keep writing? I'll pull some cards, three cards for that. OK, should you go to grad school to sharpen your writing skills? Shuffling on that. You know, I don't know that grad school sharpens anyone's writing skills. I mean, surely of the millions of people who go to grad school? Of course, many people do feel like they've gotten sharpened skills, but I feel like it gives you a lot of confidence. You network, you meet other people, you get mentorship, you know, you network. I mean, there's a lot of reasons to do it. OK. What does it look like for you to go to grad school for writing? And then you just, you get to do nothing but write. Is that true? To love that dream, right? And what about the third option, OK? What is that third option? What could it be? I mean, I'm thinking writing groups, right? What if you started writing group with other writers where you support each other and give each other feedback? What about going to like open mic nights? Are they coming back in the pandemic where you just read a little portion of your piece out loud? You know, community — I as a writer, I really found that having writing community kept me writing, you know? So what if is there an online thing where if you take a class that's not in grad school, but just like, you know, with other - other writers, let's see what it says here.
OK, should you keep writing? Should you keep writing? Whoa. OK, listen, if this question was like a dollar, OK? And the tarot was a slot machine, we'd be millionaires right now. I'd be like sharing the loot with all of y'all. You got incredible cards. I mean, they're very powerful and they absolutely confirm what I said at the beginning. You're a writer. You just are a writer and you know, you're a writer. You know, you're a writer. First card you got is the Empress. I love that she's popping up. That is like, you're like, it's the only thing you want to do like, that's where your heart is. The Empress is like, it's how we nurture ourselves, right? It's like, it's a big yes, first of all. But it's beautiful. It's love, it's beauty. It's the goddess. It's like you've been created by whatever creates humans as a writer, whatever the hell that is, you know what it is. You can feel it inside yourself. This is you. You got the Lust card that came up for the other person who was asking about memoir writing. Yes, it's so super creative. It's like, pour your heart into your work. You know, get raw. Like the Lust card wants you to like, get raw, not hold back. And then the Sun, the Sun. It's like, again, this is like, absolutely. You know, if there's a solar system like the Sun being the center, it's saying, look, like if you were a solar system, forget it. I'm too. I'm too blown away by these cards to come up with a coherent metaphor. Just let me say that like writing is the center of your solar system. OK? Like, that's what you're, what your desires and your fantasies and your inspiration revolves around. It's beautiful. OK, so amazing.
Now, should you go to grad school, what does that look like for you? It looks pretty freakin good for you to go to grad school. First card, Ace of Wands, a new beginning, a new creative beginning, a new energetic beginning. The energy of the wands, it's the same type of energy as the Lust card and the Sun card. It's fire. And you know, the wands in the tarot really do represent that, just like that pure creativity, you know? And then you've got the Hierophant, which is the grad school card. OK, it's it's the - it's the card of - the path of traditional knowledge. So I love that. Thank you tarot for being like on the nose. And then Queen of Wands. So you're going to school to learn how to be - to start, you know, to reignite your wands cycle so that you can become the Queen of Wands, the queen of writing that you can feel more certain of yourself more alive in your vocation, more passionate, more inspired and more certain that you can do this because the Queen of Wands that's... Her biggest attribute, I think, is just a sort of unshakableness. You know, she's been through a lot and - and nothing can shake her, so I love that.
Now there are a third option. Hell yeah, do it all, do it all to. Do everything and anything that feeds your writing. If I may offer a little suggestion from one writer to another, you know, see yourself as in service to your writing. Who knows why you're a writer and not like a pianist, right? Who knows why you're a writer and you know that other person's not a writer? It's a gift, right? It's unique to you the way in which you will be a writer. Be of service to it. See it as something that you get to be of service to, OK? And by that, do everything and anything that you can do to support it. And that's what I'm getting from this. So if you want to do a third path as well, which I was really feeling community while I was shuffling just because as a writer, that all - that is always what that those other options outside of the academy have been for me has been like finding writing community on the ground. You've got the Pleasure card, Six of Cups, how fun and pleasurable it is to have writer friends and to be focusing on your writing. Another ace, another new beginning. A moment of recommitting yourself to this. Ace of Swords is great because you know, wands is that raw creativity and that desire and swords is — swords actually rules writing, right? And communication. So amazing. And then the Emperor. Oh my gosh, this makes me think that you may be one of those blessed people that we were so happy exist in cultures that has the energy to pull other people together, like a leader, like, do you have it in yourself to kind of gather people around you and start a writing group or a writing event? Or, you know, can you do something to kind of be to kind of spearhead some activity? Just cause, you know, the Emperor. He's like the king, right? He's like a leader. But you know, if it's not that, you know, on the nose, it definitely is saying, yeah, there's - there's definitely something there for you in this third path as well.
I'd do it all. Do all of the things in this one human life, right? And enjoy your writing, if you can. Sometimes it's hard. Sometimes it's fun. All right. We're getting close to the hour. Let me see. Who do we have with their hands up here? Brianna or Brianna? Sorry if I'm pronouncing your name poorly, but you're up. Can you unmute yourself?
Brianna: Michelle, oh my gosh, I'm so happy you called on me.
Michelle Tea: Oh, good, I'm happy, too.
Brianna: Yeah, I just started getting into tarot and you were like the first person who popped up on Google. So, yeah. I know we're close to the hour, so I'm going to make my questions kind of really quick. So, I feel like I was like, my things are kind of similar to the rest of the people who went before me. I'm a first-semester Ph.D. student and yeah, and of course, like, it's like difficult. But like, I'm just thinking down the line like, am I going to like, am I going to finish? If I finish, am I going to be OK? And then there's one other question OK? It's different than the whole Ph.D. thing. But I feel like I haven't experienced like romantic or earthly love, and I wonder if I'm ever going to experience that in my life? Or am I going to be a cloistered nun? Like, I don't know.
Michelle Tea: OK, OK, I love all these questions and I can feel how important they are to you. And they're - they're really meaningful questions. And I think sometimes when we're like, really gripped by like the giant mystery of our life, it's really easy to have the questions come out like, "Will I be OK?" And it's like, These are actually... This is not uncommon, Brianna. Like, this is a very common question that I get as a tarot reader. Like, want to know if they'll be OK? But I just want to say that like we are - we are all going to be OK and we're all not going to be OK. You know what I mean? Like, we're all going to have shifting - shifting lives and then at some point we're all going to die. So it's those questions I find are a little too broad. So I really like to hone in a little bit about like, what does it look like for you when you ask if you'll be OK? Like, what does that...? What does OK look like to you? Like what? What are you really asking?
Brianna: I mean, me being OK, like, I have a career that I really like. I've always imagined having a home like that, I guess.
Michelle Tea: OK, cool. So, so let's see. First of all, you — we want to know, are you going to finish your Ph.D.? I'm going to - I'm going to rephrase that for you and say, What does it look like for you to - if you intend to finish a Ph.D.?
Brianna: OK.
Michelle Tea: Because these are about choices that we're making and it's a lot about what we intend and what we don't intend. So I'm going to pull three cards asking what does it look like for you to just commit to finishing your Ph.D.? And then because I like to compare and contrast because, you know, these are big questions, you know, what does it look like for you to not necessarily prize finishing your Ph.D. Like, what does it look like for you to let the completion of that fall from importance? OK? What does that look like for you if you end up reconsidering whether you want to go down that route or not? Now you're in, you're studying something specific in your Ph.D. program, no doubt. So what I want to see is is this path that you're on right now, what you're studying, is this the path that's going to bring you up to the career that you want? I'm going to ask that, you know, whatever it is, what can you — can you share what it is that you're studying?
Brianna: Yes, I'm getting my Ph.D. in political science with a specialization in human rights and humanitarian studies.
Michelle Tea: OK, let's see. So is this what is going to bring you — is this path, pursuing this path, going to bring you a career that you enjoy and it feels meaningful to you? So I'm picking some cards on that and also, you know, the house, is it going to set you up to be financially secure? Is this a path that's going to bring you the financial security and the financial resources that you want in order to have this house. And this, you know, the house also as a sort of a symbol for a life of, you know, being, you know, feeling like you're taking care of that, you're stable and you have what you need. All right.
So now what if you commit to doing...? Oh wow.You are... It looks like you're probably... I'm guessing from - I'm guessing from looking at your cards that I just pulled for you, whether of like really holding fast to your to the commitment to stay in school versus kind of letting loose like what happens if you let that go? It's really showing me that you're conflicted about that right now. I don't know if that is true, but you got a five for each of them. It's really interesting. So for the path of committing to - to finish your Ph.D., the first card you get is Disappointment. OK, so there's something about this program, about the experience of it that is not quite what you thought. You're not getting everything that you want out of it. Maybe there's a problem with the school. Maybe there's a problem with the program. Maybe the problem is your energy levels. Maybe you didn't realize how much it would take out of you. Maybe it feels sad to have to focus your wild mind on just one thing at the expense of all the other things, you know? But there's something about it that feels like a little bit of a letdown that's making you question whether or not you want to stick with it. But if you do stick with it, if you just deal with that disappointment like process it, really look at it and see, like, where's it coming from? Do you need to switch schools? Is there something you can tweak? You get the Ace of Wands, which is a new inspired beginning in a sort of inspired recommitment to getting a Ph.D.. And then — and this is what is very persuasive to me — your final card is the Three of Wands. That's a very special card to me. It's Sun in Aries, and it's called a Virtue. And what it means is that your energy is being put in exactly the right direction. You're putting your energy exactly where it should go. I say it's like a pat on the back from the universe, like you're doing it. So I think, yeah, you do want to stay in school.
The other option to kind of let go of it, to not really make that commitment to it and maybe let yourself sort of fall away from it, especially if something about it is disappointing. The first card you get is the Lovers and it, to me, that's saying, you will come to a point where you will have to pick like, "Am I going to let this go or not?" You know, because the Lovers card is really like the "shit or get off the pot" card, you know, like, are you all in or are you not? Then you get the Knight of Cups and then you get Defeat. So this is about letting go. Right? So it's like you hit a point where you're like, I don't think I want to do - I don't think I want to do this anymore. The Knight of Cups to me would say that it feels good to make that decision in that moment. But the Defeat card, the Five of Swords at the end, says it doesn't matter. You know, we're talking about a bigger trajectory than just a moment of, you know, feeling some stress or feeling the pressure of - of a - of a larger project like, like a Ph.D.. It seems like to me what I'm getting from this is that if you leave your Ph.D. program, you will regret it. But conversely, if you can figure out a way to work with the aspects of the experience that are disappointing to you, it's a really good path for you.
Is it going to bring you into a meaningful...? You're getting such interesting cards here. And I really believe it because we're talking about something that's really huge and mysterious, which is like the rest of your life and in general, you know, when I give tarot readings to people, it's about like the next three months. But you're asking a big question. I really want to use the tarot to - to - to answer it as best as we can, right? I'm not a psychic, so I'm never going to be able to tell you with any kind of certainty, those kind of things. But, you know, if you pursue this, what you're pursuing in your Ph.D. to tap to find a meaningful career. I think at some point you will want to leave it, but you're going to get a lot out of it before that. It's going to take you to some places that you really need to be and want to be. And then I think you will move away from it and you might move away from it because the money isn't all that you want. OK, and I'm going to explain why I'm saying all of this.
So the cards for what does it look like if you go forward with your discipline right now as a career. First, you get the Adjustment card. It's like, OK, this isn't perfect, right? This is not perfect, but I feel called to it, you know, and I'm going to stick with it. I'm going to make it work, right? I'm going to figure it out. That's what the Adjustment card does. And then you get the Aeon, which is really powerful and the Aeon is sort of like, "Welcome to - welcome to your life." You know, today's the first day of the rest of your life. It's a very powerful like, I feel like you are going to sort of grow up in a - in a major way in this - in this work. OK, you're going to like step into learning how to be an adult on some level through this work that you're doing. And it's going to be really profound for you in meaningful and be a big part of who you are and what this life is for you. And then you're not going to want to do it anymore. You get the Ten of Swords. You're going to like, probably really burn out on it at some point. And again, it really might be that the money is - isn't what you need it to be or want it to be. And here's why I'm saying that.
So for the question, what does it look like financially for you on this path? The first card is the Death card. OK. It's like, OK, that's a strong message. And then the next card is Change. And then the next card is the Universe, which is gorgeous. It's everything. It's the perfect card. So again, this sort of resonates with this feeling I'm getting from these cards that, yes, you should - you should finish your Ph.D. You know, like just because an experience isn't the experience we're going to end up living in for the rest of our lives doesn't mean it's not an important experience for us to have for all kinds of different reasons. So I think that, yeah, that's - that is what that is saying, that you should definitely be doing it. You're going to get out at some point, probably because you want more or different things that that discipline is no longer able to provide for you. And it's going to be awesome because you get the Universe. Whatever change you end up making, it seems like it might be like hard because you got that Ruin card. It seems like it might be a situation where you might wait till you're feeling really stressed out before you really do anything about it, because it's a big decision. So it's like you almost got to bottom out with it before you get out. But once you make that change, then you get the Universe. It's like the gifts of that just come to you.
So, you know you... We're talking about like years and years and years of life here, right? It's like, yes, you should go to school and you should study this. You should finish your Ph.D.. You should get this job. You should find work here. You should excel in that work and like build your - build yourself as an expert, as a worker, as an advocate, whatever it is you're doing. And then when you can't handle anymore and you're like, "This isn't giving me what I want, I want these creature comforts," then you're going to figure out what the change is and it's going to be awesome. Part of the thing of asking these big questions is, you know, there's going to be tons of twists and turns because there are in everyone's life, you know? We go through phases of loving our work and hating our work, you know, like being obsessed with our partners and being dismayed by our partners. You know, all of these things come and go. And so, you know, we look for like, what's the overarching story here? But I really feel like, you know, it's not a mistake. It's not like, "Oh, you're going to go on this path and then leave this path." That doesn't make the path a mistake. It's your path. Right? So it's kind of like, there is no... There's kind of no - no mistakes on the path. What I'm seeing, what I see reading tarot cards again and again is that sometimes we're supposed to take these weird left turns that don't work out the way we think that they work out or that we want them to work out or expect them to. But they bring us to different places in our life that we're meant to be. So that's the vibe I'm getting from not reading.
OK, we're done, you guys. It's seven minutes past seven, which means it's two minutes past my child's bedtime, and he is loving that I'm up here doing this and not making him brush his teeth. So I'm going to be here again next Thursday at 6:00 Pacific Time, 9:00 Eastern. And then I'm going back to Wednesday, but I'm here again on Thursday. If you have a question for me, you can - you can send it, you can put it in my DMs on over on Instagram at @michelleteaz, or you can show up here and I will try to get to you live. Thank you all so much for coming in, listening and participating. I really appreciate everyone's energy. And again, you can listen to all the other episodes of Ask the Tarot over on Spotify if you follow Your Magic, which is my mystical podcast, check it out. OK. Good night, everybody.