Episode XXX: Ask the Tarot — Your Magic

Ask the Tarot: Love vs. Life

In this week's Ask the Tarot, we pull cards for querents who are messily in love. This is a recording of our live Ask the Tarot show from October 14, 2021. Follow @askthetarot on the Spotify Greenroom app to catch Michelle Tea live, every Thursday at 6pm PT/9pm ET this October.

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Raven Yamamoto: Hey guys, it’s Raven Yamamoto, assistant producer at Your Magic and welcome back to Ask the Tarot. Now you guys know the drill. This is a recording of a live Greenroom show from last week, October 14th, hosted by Michelle Tea. If you enjoy it, you can listen to her do it again live every week. For the month of October, you can tune in on Thursdays at 6pm Pacific, 9pm Eastern on the Spotify Greenroom app. Be sure to follow Ask the Tarot over on Spotify Greenroom to get notified whenever Michelle goes live so you don’t miss your chance to get your cards read.

Alright. Here’s last week’s Greenroom show.

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Michelle Tea: Hi, this is Michelle Tea. Thank you for being here, Ask the Tarot. I'm the author of Modern Tarot and I'm the host of the Your Magic podcast, and I'm going to read your tarot cards. I'm going to read your cards and I'm also going to read cards for some folks who sent me their problems, which is so sweet. Thank you for trusting me with your problems, humanity. Some folks sent me problems that they'd like the tarot to solve and they sent it to my Instagram and the theme tonight is going to be love. And now, if you have a problem that is not about love because your love life is just like, fantastic. Very happy for you. You can raise your hand and you can ask me anything and I'll pull tarot cards for you. All you have to do is just raise your hand. I'll pick on you and when I pick on you, make sure you unmute yourself, OK?

OK? Now it's all of that said, I am going to read you my first little thing here. Here we go: "I took the leap of faith into building a better life for myself and chase my dreams of becoming somebody within the world of arts. I am about to graduate with my BFA in painting and one and a half years, and have plans to move to Texas for my M.A. in Art Leadership and Studio Arts. This is a person who got their life together, OK? However, I recently met, in person, a guy who has caught me off guard completely. I have been single for roughly two years with no interest in dating. However, we met about three weeks ago and hit it off. He's everything I've wanted in somebody, but the problem is I would have to rearrange my entire plan to make it work between us. I normally don't do tarots around love and relationships, but this guy is somebody who I have quite literally had dreams about for the past 10 years. My best friend even used to dream about him and me. We never thought he was real until now.".

Whoa, now it's getting freaky. "So I guess my question would be what would my life look like if I saw where things go with the man I've had - I've dreamt about? And what would my life look like if - if I say 'No, I have no career aspirations to chase?'" Wait a second. I just got tricked into doing a question about should I give up my entire life for some man I met two weeks ago? Oh you guys. We don't know. Does this person? Does the querent want to know what I think? Or does the querent want to know, you know, what are the tarot thinks? I think this guy should move with you to Texas. Why are you moving with him? Why can't he move with you? That's my question. Think about it, it's feminist. OK, let's see. Where would your life go if you follow this guy? OK, you're going to follow this guy. It's interesting. So it looks like it's two questions. The first is like, what would my life look like if I go off with this dude, the dream dude — it is really uncanny that you dreamt about him. I mean, that's cool. OK. Or, and what would it look like if you say I have no career aspirations, but it seems like are they one in the same? OK. What if you go with this man, but you don't abandon your own damn self? OK, that's the first thing I'm going to ask, what does it look like if you go off with the dreamboat, but you're also like not abandoning yourself somehow? OK? So what does it look like with this guy? If you like, stay true to who you are, you know?

All right. Let's see. I'm picking three cards for you right now. Now, what would it look like if you are like, go off with him and you're like, "That's fine. I don't have any life besides you. I have no career aspirations to chase." I mean. OK, that's fair. You know, not everybody does, but it seems like you do. So it's not like I have no career aspirations. It's more like I will abandon my career aspirations. Let's ask the question really how it is. I will abandon my career aspirations and pretend that they don't exist. I guess I could be persuaded to do something like that if somebody gave me a lot of money. I would have to be a real lot of money, though, you know what I mean?

OK. All right, here we go. All right. Going with the guy, but also like, you know, not giving up your - not pretending that you're not like a human being with like needs beyond your relationship looks good. It looks a little tricky, but it looks good. The first card here is the Aeon that's like, "Whoa, big new beginning." Like a really big deal like that this is happening. It's also the Judgment card. So it's like you're having to like, really make a big decision for yourself right now and I think that like standing up for yourself as well as saying, "I want you, I want this with you, but I also want myself," is like quite powerful. And the cards you get are a little intense, you got the Failure card and the Victory card. Isn't that wild? So I want to know, like, does this guy...? My question is if this guy sort of wants you to wants you to not have career aspirations, then it seems like maybe that's going to be a deal breaker for him. And you're like, "Victory, peace out. You're a creep." Am I right? You guys, what do you think?

Now let me see. If you just pretend like you have no ambition and go off with this guy. Oh boy. OK, well, here's the thing. It's not like... It looks good. Goddamn it. It doesn't look terrible for you. You have very similar cards either way. What I'm wondering here, OK, is if what you're wanting to do is go off with this guy and do like starting a family kind of thing like, is that what you want to do? Because it's hard for me to understand how like, you know, walking away from your career ambitions will bring you happiness. But it seems like it will. So OK, you know, for doing that, you've got the Art card. Isn't that ironic since you're going to be walking away from your art career? But it looks like, you know, the Art card is not, it's not about art per se. It's about marriage, really and it's about alchemy. It's about creating a new thing. So you have that card and then you have the Two of Disks, which is called Change, and then you have the Eight of Wands, which is called Swiftness. So it seems like things take off very quickly. This partnership comes together very quickly and very powerfully. It's so interesting seeing all the cards together. I'm just thinking that maybe for this connection to proceed with this person, it does look like you have to turn away from the path that you've been on.

Oh, god dammit. Why is... Why is it so? I don't know. It's not for me to know. I just hope that is really nice. I hope you're well compensated financially for abandoning your career. I hope that you really like being a mom and thank you for asking me a question. OK, I'm going to see who is out here in the ether who needs some help. Who can I help? Angel, I'm going to call on you. Unmute yourself. Let me see. I don't see Angel up here. Hmm. Maybe Angel flew away back up to heaven. OK, sometimes there's a glitch. So I like to wait a minute to see if someone pops up, but I don't see Angel. So now I'm going to Jen. Jen, I'm calling you up. You can unmute yourself. There you are. How's it going?

Jen: Hi. Good, oh my God. I can't believe I'm talking to you.

Michelle Tea: It's real.

Jen: I actually messaged you like... It was probably over the weekend. It's like a little bit of a story. I've been with my I guess fiancee right now I've been with for like seven years and...

Michelle Tea: OK.

Jen: He actually — that's my son. He proposed over the weekend.

Jen's son: Hi, what's your name?

Jen: Her name's Michelle. So he proposed to me over the weekend.

Michelle Tea: Oh, congratulations.

Jen: And my son here, who is almost five, he is not having it.

Jen's son: I have a best friend named Lucas. OK. And it's his birthday tomorrow.

Jen: So yeah, he's - he's not really having it and it's kind of got me thinking like we've had a few issues in the past leading up to this so.

Jen's son: And I've never met you.

Jen: So, basically, I just wanted to see what my path looks like if I go through with things or if I listen to my little buddy here.

Michelle Tea: OK, OK. Oh my god. I'm going to ask you to mute yourself while I read the cards just because your little buddy is loud.

Jen: Yeah.

Michelle Tea: I understand I've got a little buddy who's a little older than him. Thank you. Oh my god, that is adorable. All right. So the question here is, OK, you've been proposed to, Jen, and your little buddy who's four isn't into it and you have some issues with your fiancee. Or I won't even say fiancee because, well, maybe you said yes, you said yes, right? He's your fiancee for now, it doesn't have to be your fiancee forever, though.

Jen: For now.

Michelle Tea: But also you guys have had some issues. So you're not, you know, sounds like you have a little some concerns. All right. So first, we're going to see what does it look like if you do it? OK, what does it look like if you go through with it? That's what I'm thinking right now as I'm shuffling. I mean, you know, it's hard. It's so hard to have a little four year old because the world does revolve around them. But then it's like... or they just, you know, being a little like they want you all to themselves, and maybe you have to figure out some really fun, sweet ways to like...

Jen: That's what I'm trying to figure out if he's like... Because you know, he's a Scorpio Sun and an Aquarius Moon.

Michelle Tea: Oh, well, all right. I'm gonna pick three and just, you know, ideally with the idea that things will chill with your little buddy. And now, let's see. What does it look like if you turn away from this because you know your little buddy is is number one and you got to make sure that he's living in a home that feels good and, you know, I don't know if — since you've alluded to issues — if there's something there. Maybe he picks up on it more or, I don't know what your deals are, but the tarot is going to give you some wisdom. So I'm going to pick three cards now for no.

OK, so your cards for marrying this person? Six of Wands, Victory which is very lovely. Ace of Disks, which is great for a new path with a person and then Nine of Disks, which is Gain. So those look really good. Those look really good and really solid. OK?

Jen: Wow.

Michelle Tea: Yeah. For not - for not being with this person. Princess of Swords. She's super reactionary. She's just tearing things apart. Queen of Cups. Very clouded. Not a lot of clarity. And Swiftness, which is like, strange. This strange, murky... I mean, you know, the Princess of Swords. She's just like, I'm tearing — I'm just going to like, blow everything up. That's her strategy, is just blowing everything up. So it doesn't... It seems like there is an aspect of, you know, if you do decide to not stay with this person and move forward in your relationship, there's an aspect of just like sabotage almost at foot. It looks actually really beautiful. I like these cards for you guys staying together. And to me, it makes me feel like there's going to be a path in here that involves just like, really, it seems like, you know, with the Victory card is really fun. It's Jupiter in Leo. It's like, it's like, it's a very joyful card. And I'm wondering if there's a way that you can just sort of like, create joy around this experience and bring your son into it, you know, more somehow? Like really involve him as much as you can. I mean, in a sense, your fiancé is also marrying your son. You know, like, you guys are going to be all — there's no getting around that reality that you're really together in that way. The Ace of Disks is about a whole new path. You know, I wonder if there's a way that you can like, sit down with your fiancee and really break it down. That like this is — you're a real package deal, you know? And like, how can you guys move forward towards your wedding or, you know, towards whatever this looks like in a way that just includes your kids so much? And then you get the Nine of Disks, which is Gain. And that's just like a beautiful card. That's like lots of resources. It seems like this person, like you guys can all come together and like all, bring more into this relationship, though the relationship between the three of you. Does that make sense?

Jen: Yeah, that makes a lot of sense that I'm it's just, yeah, giving me more clarity. So thank you. It's this kid's dad, too. So I'm like, I don't know what his deal was. Like if he's just...

Michelle Tea: It's your kid's dad?

Jen: It's his dad, yeah. Yeah. So I'm like, what's your deal? Like?

Michelle Tea: They're just jerks. There's just no understanding. They're like, "I don't know."

Jen: That's what I'm like. Well, maybe it's just like a five year old thing and he's like meh, he's just trying to be difficult.

Michelle Tea: Contrary or wants, just like wants more control doesn't want things to change. Who knows? Maybe you can find out by talking to him. But it does look really great for you guys to be all together.

Jen: That's awesome. Thank you so much.

Michelle Tea: You're welcome. Best of luck to you. You guys, want to hear something really fun? I am coming to you live from a Toyota Camry on the — it's not a Toyota Camry. I don't know cars. It's a Corolla. I'm coming to you live from a Toyota Corolla. I'm on my way to Knott's Scary Farm. Not to give Knott's free publicity, but you know, I'm going to get chased by zombies all night and go to a bunch of Halloween haunts. I'm very excited and on the way here I am in the car doing this for you guys. I'm very excited about it.

All right. I have another lovelorn person here who wants to know if they should give up some dreams for the love. That's the theme of the night. Let me see. All right: "I'm 31 and dating a forty seven year old. It's a new relationship, but things are moving fast. They already did the family thing. They are divorced with kids and they don't want more children. I'm wondering if I should set aside my mellow aspirations to become a mother and start a new family with someone and give this current relationship a real chance. For a bit more context, I split my time between the U.S. and Sweden, and I leave for Sweden in October only for a month. Is my life with this current partner in the states or is there someone else for me in Sweden, possibly?".

OK, so we got a lot of questions here. Should this person stay? Let's see. I'm chuckling right now. What is it look like if you stay with this person and give up your mellow aspirations to have a family and kids? I mean, I get that sometimes those are very mellow aspirations. Like, I love being a mom, but I really felt like if it hadn't happened for me, I would've been fine. You know what I mean? Because, like, life is great, even without kids. So let's see. What does it look like to just like, be with this person and just be like, whatever? It's not in the cards for me to have the kids. All right? Picking three cards. Or let me see, is there somebody for you in Sweden? Is there someone for you in Sweden who maybe wants these things that you're sort of mellow about? I have found that these sort of situations, marriage, babies, stuff like that, you know, it's real easy to be ambivalent about them. But then if you're with someone who also likes it, it's easy to get real excited, too. So maybe you just need somebody who's like, "Actually, I want to have kids." And then suddenly, like, you're not mellow anymore. You're like a freaking baby mad woman with a ticking biological clock. OK, let's see what's going on. What if you stay with your dude who's already been there and done that? What do you got for that? Looks a little hard. I want to see about somebody in Sweden. Is there a Swede? An open swede? They both look hard. OK.

OK, here's the deal. You can definitely be with your man. You got the Ace of Swords. So that's sort of like getting a new attitude, getting a new perspective. "OK, here we go. I'm committing to this. You know, this is what's happening. We're not getting married. I'm letting all of that go." But then you have the Indolence card, Eight of Cups and it's about emotional neglect. So listen, I think that the tarot is saying very strongly to you that there's these aspects of what you want for your life. And it's one thing if you decide to put the kibosh on it. But it's another if you feel a little bit like, you know, it's being dictated to by another person. I think it's going to feel bad. Then you have the Aeon card, which is a big Judgment card, and to me, I feel like there's going to come a moment of reckoning for you around this, where you're really going to have to get very honest about how you feel about it.

You know, just thinking that there's another person that's going to like, sweep you away from having to deal with this situation, someone in Sweden, that doesn't really look like that's really true. There could be something. There could be something, but it's just a fling. Knight of Cups, Ten of Swords, Queen of Swords. It's a little fling that doesn't end very well. So. So don't, you know... Have a fling if you want, but it's not going to be anything substantial for you. What's substantial is this person but I want to pick these cards. I've been haunted. I've been haunted by, you know, this - this third question of like, what if you really, you know, bring it to your person? And I'm like, "Listen, I need I - I want to have this experience. I know you've had this experience, but I want this experience. I want to have a family with you. What do you say? You know, I will be sad for my whole life." I know you don't feel like you will be. But the cards are saying something a little bit different. The cards are saying that you might feel bad.

So what if you actually have open communication with this person? Wow. I think that your current partner might be a little more flexible than you think. But here are the cards that came up. I'm not saying that it won't be a little tricky. It will be OK. It will be a little tricky. You have the Two of Disks. It's called Change. So that's just like right up there. Change. There's been a Change. You know, your conversation can really alter things. The next card is a pregnant lady. There's only like two pregnant lady cards and all of the tarot, and you got one of them, Princess of Disks. She's been through a big forest of tangled trees, and now she's got a bun in the oven. And I mean, you know, it's a little on the nose, don't you think? I mean, how much more do I need to go into that? Then you have the Seven of Wands. That is a little bit of a struggle, OK? Like when the Seven of Wands comes up, you're like a little exhausted and you're like, "Do I really have to have this fight? Do I really? I'm sick of this." But you do. You do have to see it all the way through.

So there might be some conflict that arises, you know, and you just need to make sure you guys have really open communication because just like you don't want to swallow what you want and then end up resentful, you also don't want to like you want to make sure your partner isn't just saying yes and then ending up resentful. So you guys have to have really, really good communication. But it does look like, you know, don't give up, don't give up on what you want for yourself.

OK, I'm putting these cards back into the deck and let me see who has their hand up? Who can I pick some cards for today? MamaLoo. MamaLoo, are you here?

MamaLoo: I think I'm here.

Michelle Tea: You're here. You're definitely here.

MamaLoo: Hello. Hi. How are you?

Michelle Tea: I'm great. How are you?

MamaLoo: I'm good. I have a question that's not necessarily love in a like relationship. It's more familial than just partners. So after about three years of being a stay-at-home mom, I've returned to work full time and the job is professionally fulfilling. And I'm very happy now to be like financially contributing to the household because that was something that bothered me for a while to kind of like, just be here. And - but it's been a challenge readjusting my personal life family, my own hobbies and interests with now the professional obligations and it's somewhat... I feel distant from my husband and the kids because I'm so focused on work, and so I wanted to know if the going back to work was a right decision. You know, just does - what does like my work life look if I stay? What does it look like if or what does this situation look like, if I stay or if I go? Or is there a change that really can be made to help me improve the whole work-life balance?

Michelle Tea: OK. All right. I think I get your question. So let's see. I'm gonna ask you to mute yourself while I'm shuffling, but feel free to pop in and you know, if you got anything to say. So right now I'm shuffling to saying, what does it look like for you to stay on the job and just sort of like try to tap out the growing pains? You know, it's got to feel so, so different, you know, from from the past three years, it's so intense to be home with a kid and just to have that world at home be your world. So maybe this is just an adjustment period for you. So what does it look like for you to tough it out? I'm picking three cards and now I'm picking three cards. What does it look like for you to say, "You know, I don't know if this is worth it." Like, I don't know, you know, money is always great and always necessary and, you know, no doubt it's cool to be out of the house. But you know, if you're if you're weighing it, what does it look like for you to leave the job and say, I, you know, I want to stay at home for a little bit longer, you know, and we can reconsider entering the workforce you know, when the kid's a little older. OK, I'm going to pick three cards on that. And then just for like, just for like a third sort of possibility. Is there a way to maybe just go, I don't know, part-time or, you know, make some sort of change? You think you would said that yourself? Like, is there? What kind of change can you make? Is there just some sort of thing that you can do, maybe to lighten all of this?

OK, so for staying and toughing it out, it doesn't look bad. It really doesn't. I want to - I want to compare and contrast. Oh gosh, it's like really such an interesting story. There's two stories and there's ups and downs with both of them. So the story of you being at work, you have the Priestess Card. So it is very satisfying for you to be at work like it must just - even though, like, you know, though, the problems with it are very, very real. It just also just seems like this is your place in the world. You have a place in the world that's larger than just your place at home. And so I feel like that's what the Priestess is really representing. The Queen of Swords is your next card and you know, she is making changes. She's... Do you - do you have a relationship with the Queen of Swords card?

MamaLoo: Yeah, yeah. I just feel the Queen of Swords really has that kind of like executive-like feel, you know, just like sitting in the chair, like telling people things, you know, just...

Michelle Tea: Yes, totally, totally. She really does. She's like, she's just like, not afraid to like, she's not trying to make friends. You know, it's it's not personal. She's like doing what she needs to do. And so that might also be you in your life doing what you need to do in a kind of detached way to make it work for you, to be to be at your job and then the Four — you have the Four of Cups, Luxury. It's really interesting. It's like - it's such... This is such an interesting card because, you know, the water is clean, the cups are beautiful, the flowers alive. Like everything that signifies healthy emotional situations, is present in this card. But the ocean itself is rock is like choppy. So there's a sense that the cups could fall over, right? So it just looks like there's this emotional fear. It's like hard for you to relax into that everything is OK with you, with you taking this course, you know? But I think that everything is OK. I really do. You know, now that I've kind of gotten into this story of you being at your job and being with the High Priestess, which is such a — I always believe the High Priestess is like our higher self, you know? It's like our best self.

And then now, so if you leave your work... First, you have the Hanged Man. So that's actually a big sacrifice. As much of a sacrifice as it is for you to be going to work. Leaving it actually looks a little painful. And then you get the Magician, which is great. You're like, OK, cool. You know, this is a sacrifice, but this is why I'm doing it. This is fulfilling. But then you get the Satiety card. It's the Ten of Cups and it's sort of plateau-y and kind of boring. So I just feel like, man, it just seems like you will no doubt get something out of being at home with that Magician card. You know, like, you know what you're missing. You know what you would get. You know that it's enlivening and fulfilling to be at home, but it just looks like it's your higher calling to be at work right now.

Let me see what it looks like for you. What can you do to help yourself out here? All right. So for like what kind of changes can you make? It's interesting. I was asking, what can you go down to part-time or something? You do have the Work card? It's like the Three of Disks. That's called Works. It's Mars in Capricorn. It's like the worker. So it's like, yeah, I wonder if there is something that you can do about the way that you work, if there's - if there are tweaks that you can make to it. You also have the Ace of Swords, which is, you know, it's about a new way of thinking about things. So — and it is a really strategic card. It's about new strategies. So you know, that to me is, you know, I'm wondering, is there a way that you can work from home? Some, like sometimes, can you go down to part-time? It's also a big communication card. So I think because you also have the Eight of Cups here, which is Indolence, and again, it's that card of emotional neglect, something being neglected. You did say that you feel like you're not connecting with your husband as much. I think that like it would make a lot of sense to have a big conversation also with your husband and see what you guys can do to carve out really specific time for you guys to connect with each other. If you're finding that it's not happening, you know, as spontaneously or easily as it was when you were so available at home. Does that make sense?

MamaLoo: Yes. No, that's...

Michelle Tea: You really need to jump on that Indolence card, you want to - want to beef up that connection. You're in a hard spot. I mean, you know, like the problems of being at work are real, but the problems with not being at work also are real.

MamaLoo: Yeah, I was very - it's very interesting what you said and what was drawn with the Hanged Man and I think the Ten of Cups, because most of the times kind of people see the Ten of Cups as like, "Oh, like everything's glorious and everything's like complete complete, complete complete. But I like seeing that - that difference where completeness doesn't necessarily mean good. It's just like, "Well, and now you're here and there you have it.".

Michelle Tea: Right.

MamaLoo: And that's kind of like how I have felt at home and like, "Well, I've got everything under control," and then - and everyone goes, you know, I take people to practices that and then I'm just kind of like and that's about it. And then I'm bored and I'm so bored. I want to go to do, what can I do? So thank you so much for that. I really appreciate it.

Michelle Tea: Oh, you're very welcome and good luck there whatever choice you make.

MamaLoo: Thank you.

Michelle Tea: Just wishing you the best with it. You're welcome. All right, you guys. So listen. An epic epic letter came into me. It's so long and it's so juicy. I really want to read you guys the whole thing, but I just can't in good conscience as the host read this whole thing. So I'm going to skim and give you the gist of it. OK? It's a love problem. OK: "So had taken this guy three years to date. He meets someone amazing. He's going to call her M. OK, things were amazing, OK? He's never felt so connected to somebody. Same sense of humor. Same taste in music. Same deep philosophy on how the world is. Just perfect. So perfect that she felt comfortable to reveal that she's a witch.".

I got to say, I mean, she should have just led with she's a witch, you know what I mean? Like, why wouldn't you just be like, "Yeah, I'm a witch?" Anyway. OK. Not to judge. OK. "As someone who has never been religious and is always viewed the world from a science standpoint, it was hard to believe in it at first. After a few rituals, I started to believe in it more and more. But what really just opened me up was after a couple of indulgences of LSD and shrooms.".

Well, yeah, I mean, I guess that'll open you up. OK, so they would trip together, and it seemed like she was reading his mind, OK... and after the third time they trip together, he was pretty convinced in her - in her witchy-ness. He says he's an experienced psychonaut — you know, that is, you guys? That's somebody does a lot of mushrooms. Anyways, they bonded closer than ever. Then things started taking a turn for the worse. His dad got sick, and that's really, you know, that's a whole story. And then he got kind of like clingy and he got sad. And then he got like paranoid that this woman, M, was going to cheat on him and then he went over to this party he wasn't invited to. And he says this: "In the end that caused M to cheat on me."

No! There's so many problems with this letter. I don't even know where to start. I want to just give this guy like a five hour tarot reading, you know what I mean? And then some like - like a - a free ticket to therapy. You don't make somebody cheat on you. People make their own decisions, you know? So what if you like, freaked out? You know, that's not, you know, that's just cuckoo. OK, OK. Anyway, they broke up, OK? There was just like — he found out she was going to cheat on him. He went, he went to her Facebook. This is toxic. This is what when, when you when you're like, what's a toxic relationship? It's this. It's like when you're going through someone's Facebook and finding out that she's going to cheat and you're like, "Are you going to cheat on me?" And she's like, "Oh, you went to my Facebook?" I mean, who needs that crap? OK, it's been almost a year since then and I feel like there's been a lot of weird timing. I've been seeing a lot of threes and hearing the phrase "the human condition" a lot. It was a phrase they bonded over. OK. Things are happening like bird poop on this car, which never happens. OK, it's getting weirder. Weird things like that. Yes, my friend. This is weird. When I trip, it feels like the universe is trying to say, "Go after M." OK, maybe I'm just reading too much into everything. I mean, that's what I kind of think. "My gut tells me, I'm right on this. Could we get back together? Would it work out? Or is our path just not meant to cross again?"

Oh my goodness. Listen, I'm thinking a lot of thoughts right now. I'm thinking, you need to put down the LSD and the shrooms for a minute. I'm thinking that, you know, I believe in like synchronicity and stuff like that and I do think it makes the world feel brighter and reminds us that we're all interconnected and that there's a spiritual dimension to things. But I just don't know if a bird pooping on your car is a sign that you should get back in your toxic old relationship. I just - I hope the universe does not work like that personally. But, you know, I think you need to go to therapy and stop doing drugs personally, my little friend. But let's see what the tarot thinks, OK? Should you... Let me see. Oh my God, he thanks me for being a therapist. I got to tell you, I'm not. I'm not a therapist. You guys, go to an actual therapist who went to school for it who could actually give you help beyond a radio show with a deck of cards. Not to disrespect my own - my own work here. OK, what does it look like for you and this person in the future? What does it look like? Let's see. Okay. I mean, that's the thing. When you do LSD and mushrooms, that's the whole point. It makes everything seem really significant. And then you're like, "Oh my God, everything is really significant." And you're like, "Is it though? Or were you on drugs?" You know what I mean? How can you really know if you're just totally messing with yourself like this? OK, now shuffling the cards, saying what would it look like for you to turn your back on this person and to recognize that part of the reason why you guys had such incredible wild chemistry was because of you. You brought at least 50 percent of that wild chemistry into that relationship. So that's what that means. You can find other people in the world who are less toxic, ideally, and have that wild special connection again in your life. How's that? All right.

OK, let me see. What's the vibe here with you in this lady? Oh God, it looks so pretty. It really does. It just looks beautiful. It's got the Empress card here. So you're really I mean, you just are in love with this person. She's an - you idolize her. She's an ideal to you, it's like the Empress is like Aphrodite. You know what I mean? And then you get the Luxury card, and it's just sort of like that Luxury card's come up a few times tonight. It's the Four of Cups. Things are very beautiful, but they're unstable, you know? And it sounds like that's a lot of what this story is, is that, you know, there it was. It was very heady and wild. And, you know, as a drug addict myself, you know, being in love with someone who will do drugs with you, I mean, forget it. It's incredible. But like, you know, the drugs are maybe a problem. All right. Then you got the Ace of Cups here.

So yeah, I mean, it looks like there's a possibility of a fresh start with this person, which is wild and, you know, maybe turning away from her... Um gosh, it just OK. Here's what I - here's what I think. Here's what I think: there's good and bad about you turning away from her and the - the way that I'm going to interpret that is that you're just not ready to do that yet. So it's just not a good path for you. You know, it looks like you've got the Six of Cups which is Pleasure. So it is, in a deep way, good for you to turn away from her. But it's going to require, I think, skills that you just don't have yet. That's what I'm getting, because right after the Six of Cups, you have the Ten of Wands, Oppression. So you're going to feel oppressed by this decision you made to kind of like turn away from her. I just don't think you're going to be able to do it. Then you get the Eight of Disks, which is Prudence. And it's like, it's almost like... Yeah, I mean, I don't know, maybe because there's so much drugs in this letter that's making me think of almost like a sobriety journey to turn away from her and that you just might not be ready.

I think that... I don't know, can you reach out to this person and see if she's available for - to see if like, yes, if she's available for a fresh start. Maybe you guys can hash out what went wrong. That Ace of Cups does suggest a fresh start. It's possible, but dude, don't be a stalker, OK? If she's just like, "I never want to see you again." Then you just need to like scrub her from your phone, OK? Because like, this is so obsessive, you know that I worry about both of you. Obsession can be really fun, but it's not. It doesn't mean that there's actually love there. It just means you're an obsessive person. OK. So was that helpful? I don't know. I really don't.

OK. Who needs help? Who else is out there that I can try my hand with? OK, Jess, I'm going to bring you up.

Jess: Hi. Yes.

Michelle Tea: Hi. Oh, great. Hello.

Jess: Hi. How are you?

Michelle Tea: I'm good. How are you?

Jess: I'm good. I'm good. Can't complain.

Michelle Tea: OK, good, good. What can I do for you? What would you like me to ask the tarot?

Jess: OK, so my situation is weirdly kind of a little bit like the - what you just read.

Michelle Tea: Oh my god, are you M?

Jess: No, no, no, no. Oh.

Michelle Tea: That'd be wild.

Jess: No, that would be wild. But no, I don't. I don't think I am. There are some details in there that I just know. But OK, so my deal is I had made a connection with somebody that I thought was, you know, synchronicity. We had the same beliefs. We had good conversation for the most part and a great friendship, you know, started a great friendship. Once we became a couple, it was still good. You know, we go - we have that little honeymoon phase, of course. And then when it started to get real, especially — I was married when I got with this guy. The - I was separated. We'll say that. He was living in New York and I'm in Texas. Long story short, he ended up passing away this past December.

Michelle Tea: Is this - is this the person you were married to or the person...

Jess: The person I was married to.

Michelle Tea: OK. OK.

Jess: So he ended up passing away. And I mean, I had let go of that relationship because obviously it wasn't working. It wasn't healthy for me. So I removed myself from that and the whole marriage was kind of just dragged on because of other issues. And so when I started this relationship with this guy, I mean, I told them about it because I felt like that was the honest thing to do. And I feel like in a sense, when he passed away, I, I mourned in my own way and I feel like he didn't really understand that. So that already rubbed me the wrong way and so a lot of things started accumulating after that, you know? And so now we decided to break it off. It's been - we were together for a year. It was going to be a year in September, and we broke up in August. So my question is lately, I just been thinking about it a lot, just analyzing what was it? And a part of me wants to be open-minded and think that maybe we could try again and it was just some of the factors that were there. But I don't know if it's just me reliving what was.

Michelle Tea: Right. All right. Well, I'm going to - I'm going to pull some cards right now. I'm going to pull and just ask, what does it look like if you do reach out to this person and say, "Hey, thinking about you," you know, like you want to talk. See if it's possible for you guys to have like a new level of communication.

Jess: Right. And he's an Aries and I'm a Cancer.

Michelle Tea: Oh, no.

Jess: I know, that's...

Michelle Tea: Oh gosh. Well, listen, you got to be - you gotta make yourself - you have to be very honest in your conversation. I know, like, you know, Cancers can can keep things very close to their chest, but that's not going to serve you in a situation like this. I'm gonna say, what does it look like for you to move on from this person? To just, you know, take it for what it was and move on. You know, I don't know about you, but like sometimes I've noticed throughout my life when I've been single. Sometimes you just get sick of being single or you're just like a little sad or lonely. It's just like real easy to dial back to like whoever was most recently around and be like, "Oh, that person, just forget that stuff," or whatever. There were reasons why - there's, you know, real reasons why you're not together anymore.

Jess: Right, right.

Michelle Tea: OK. What does it look like for you to reach out to this person? It does not look good, Jess. It doesn't look good. It looks like, OK. The first card is the Hierophant. So you're like, OK, maybe like, that's kind of a funny card for love reading, but it also is about knowledge, you know? So it seems like going towards him with like, OK, I really want to understand and do this better. But also like is, is he sort of like a kind of patriarchal kind of a dude?

Jess: What does that mean?

Michelle Tea: I mean, is he just kind of like kind of like — is he like a little bit on the macho side? Is he kind of like a mansplainer?

Jess: A little bit. He he tries to make it seem like he's not because, of course, the spiritual and the awake and stuff like that. I mean, we have conversations like that, but I do see the characteristics of it.

Michelle Tea: I mean, a spiritual mansplainer. Oh my gosh. Listen, the ones you get next, you get the Seven of Cups and the Five of Cups. Seven of Cups is Debauch. It's like trying to scratch that itch and you can't and you're taking actions that you think are going to make you feel better and they don't. They make it worse because it's not - it's like - it's - it's that thing that I'm thinking, where you're like, "Do you want him or do you just want someone because you feel lonely?" You know, which is understandable and then you get the Five of Cups and it's Disappointment, you know? So that just looks like a bad path.

So the path of moving away from him? Oh my gosh, the path of moving away from him. Listen, it's not going to happen overnight. You are hung up on this person. I don't know if you're just like, if you're a person that likes to, like, be in love with love and you know, you get - you can get a little bit of problems around that. But here are the three cards for moving away from him. First, it's the Queen of Cups. So you're like, OK, you know he is on your mind. You can't really see clearly around it, and you're like, "Well, how do I just stop thinking about someone like, how do you even do that?" You know? I know. Then the next card is the Moon. So you're not going to just snap out of it, but you just need to remind yourself that like, that's your intention. That's your intention. You know, like in even if you like, you feel haunted by him for a while, it's OK because then your final card is the Lust card and then you're back in the game, Jess. You're going to snap out of it. You're going to snap out of it, but it really does have a little bit of a spell over you right now. But I think that, you know, that might be because you're the kind of person that lets it like is receptive to falling under someone's spell. You know what I mean?

Jess: Yeah, yeah. I could see. Yeah, I could see that.

Michelle Tea: But the Lust card is great. I mean, it does mean sexy time, but it also means like a lust for life. And really more than anything, I just see this meaning that you're free of pining for this guy or being in an illusion or a fantasy about him. You're going to shake the fantasy about this guy off. And then you're back in the reality of your own life, which is quite fun with lots of things to indulge in and pay attention to that aren't - aren't the past.

Jess: Right.

Michelle Tea: You know?

Jess: Right. Right, right. I mean, I love that. I feel like that really did... I mean, it just gave me this peace that I kind of been wanting to hear. Of course, you know, you tell yourself all this stuff like you said, you know you, you remind yourself. But like just hearing the affirmation, just knowing that you know, your gut instinct is always what you think it is. But thank you for that. Thank you.

Michelle Tea: Yeah. Yeah, you're very welcome and good luck. You know, again, it's going to be hard. You're going to you're going to feel a little bit like depressed about having to let go of it for a minute with that Moon card. But it will pass. OK, it will pass. So just let it pass.

Jess: OK. I can let it pass. Thank you so much.

Michelle Tea: You're very welcome. Good luck to you. OK. Oh, my God, you guys, I got another little love question right here, and it's so cute. OK, let me see... This person's telling me all about the cards that they — sometimes people write me about their problems and they tell me about all the tarot cards they've already picked. It's very funny. So I'm not going to read you that part, but OK. "But she had drawn these cards with the intention of clarity for confessing my feelings to my best guy friend. I'm unsure if I should confess or if it would ruin things. I'm a 16-year-old girl junior in high school. So of course, this is what I use tarot for. Ha ha ha.".

Girl, that's what everyone uses tarot for. So let's see. What is it going to be like? What would it be like for you to confess your feelings for your best guy friend? Oh my god. Our show has suddenly become like a teen rom-com. I love it so much. OK, what would it look like for you to just be like, "OMG, I have a crush on you! Best guy friend." Let's see. OK, I'm going to pick three cards for that. What does that look like? Conversely, what does it look like if you don't? What does it look like if you're like, you know, something I don't know, the vibe isn't right. I'm not ready. I don't want to mess things up. You know all the reasons so many reasons why to not, you know, share your feelings. And there's so many reasons to share your feelings. Let's see what the tarot has to say. Oh, I see you, MamaLoo. You remember doing that. I remember doing that, too. I learned how to read tarot cards, pulling cards on all of my teenage crushes. So this is great.

OK, let me see. Oh, my goodness. Oh gosh, oh gosh. Oh, OK, so here's the situation. It looks like you do have to tell him, but it also looks like hard. Like, maybe there's a problem. OK? Yes. The Ace of — I see It in the letter that she wrote me that the Ace of Cups keeps coming up for her and that was the first card that came up for me, too. The Ace of Cups for telling your friend that you have feelings about him and it is the beginning of a new course, a new relationship, you know, a new emotional cycle. But then the next two cards, you guys, it's the Tower and Failure. Oh, I hate that. You know what's worse than delivering bad tarot cards to someone? Delivering bad tarot cards to a 16-year-old girl. Because I just want, you know, you just to have like a beautiful romance here, but it looks hard. I mean, the Tower card, you're afraid of ruining the friendship. It looks like it might. OK, I don't want to say ruin, because that sounds so permanent. It's going to change the friendship and it looks hard at first. Because you don't want the friendship to change. You're going to feel bad, you're going to feel responsible.

Here's the deal, though. The cards for you not saying anything are also bad. OK? Queen of Cups, Queen of Swords and the Five of Disks, which is Worry. So it's sort of like you're telling him — the relationship has already changed. OK, that's the situation here. That's what the tarot is saying. The relationship is already changed because you have feelings, you know? And you can't pretend that that's not the situation. Pretending that that's not the situation is going to leave you in a bad state. Queen of Cups is sort of like emotionally unclear. Kind of depressed. Queen of Swords. I mean, like, you know, all of these cards can also, you know, mean different things in different contexts. But in this context, I'm seeing Queen of Cups is like bummed out. Queen of Swords is like stressed out and then the Worry card, right? So you do have to. You have to tell him how you feel. And you know, the best-case scenario is that like the Tower is like, "Oh, wow, you know we're - we have to totally, totally, you know, see. We have to think about our relationship really differently now, OK? We have to be real about the fact that it's now a different relationship." So and that could mean anything, right? I mean, it could mean that you guys date, but it doesn't work out. It could mean that he's not interested you in that way. You know, whatever it is, it looks like it's stressful. And I'm really sorry for that.

I hope that you are a writer and that someday you will write an amazing novel in which a girl tells her best guy friend that she likes him, and it does not go the way that she wants it to. I just hope there's some, some, some time of redemption for this. I mean, this has happened to all of us. Can I just say that as somebody who was once 16? I mean, it's - it's so terrible. And I'm sorry that this is not a happy ending reading for you.

OK. Who else is out there? Who's out there that I can possibly give a happy ending reading to? OK, I see. I got Ness here in the comments who has a question. Let me, I'm going to read out loud what I'm seeing here: "I'm in the lowest point in my life, and I am broke and working odd - odd ends jobs as a podcast assistant and oral historian trying to make ends meet. I'm wondering if the odds and ends jobs I'm super passionate about, but pay me so little, will be worth it in the long run and if I will have any new job opportunities coming soon?".

Oh, I'm so sorry Ness that you're in such a low point. It's so hard when you have work that you love, that doesn't pay you. I mean, welcome to life as a creative person, it's very hard. But let's see, is it worth it for you right now to keep doing these little jobs that you're passionate about? What does it look like for you to keep on charging ahead in Podcastlandia where there's so much passion and brilliance and everyone is hustling? OK, say three cards for that. OK, and now three cards for like, All right, do you just need to... I mean, I don't know about like, will you have any new job opportunities soon? But like, yeah, is there a job out there? I'm going to also say, like, what if you put a little work into it too, you know? Like it's not that you're not, but just to be clear what I'm asking the tarot, what does it look like for you to hunt out some different opportunities that actually pay you a little bit more money, give you a little bit more security so you're not feeling so broke because sometimes you, you know you like to go to the movies and stuff, right?

OK, so let me see. Odds and ends jobs... The odds and ends jobs... God damn it. They just look like they're taking a lot out of you, Ness. You got the - you got the Eight of Cups, which is Indolence. So again, this card keeps coming up tonight, the Indolence card means something crucial is being neglected. OK, so - so something crucial is being neglected and then you have the Devil card. OK, gosh. And then after the Devil, the Ace of Disks. So it's interesting. It does seem like you could stick it out. You could stick it out. The Devil is such a complicated card because, you know, he - he basically means you're not really in charge of your own destiny. And so it must just - it must feel like that, right? Like you're - you're like, Here I am doing these odds and ends in like, what am I getting out of it? Have I sold my soul to like podcast Satan or what? But then you do get the Ace of Disks, which is like, it is going to lead you, it looks like, to a new material opportunity.

Now, you know, you can — I think you can do both. I think you can keep doing the odds and ends and like being really available to opportunity and then being a little bit more proactive. You know, honestly, it doesn't look like you're supposed to just like quit the podcasting jobs and go after some nine to five. That doesn't look right for you. And the three cards for sort of doing that are the Three of Disks, which is a Work card. So you're like, "OK, maybe you should hunt down a job." Then it's the Two of Wands with Dominion. So you're like, "Oh, OK, that's sort of really taking the bull by the horns and saying, enough is enough." But then you end up in the Five of Disks which is Worry. So you're sort of right back where you are, which is very interesting. It seems like the outcome is actually best for you to always keep your ears out, right? For - for a job opportunity. But yeah, you do want to to keep - keep on with the podcast work. I think it is going to lead you to something. So I hope it leads you to something really fast because it really stinks to be broke. But it just looks like, you know, going to look for something else right now. Is it actually going to... It's - it's it's not a good path. And why is that? I don't understand.

OK, let's see what else we have here. I have - I get so many emails, you guys. I can never get to all of them, and I really wish that I could. We're getting pretty close to the end. I got five minutes here. OK, here we have somebody. "My love life has been nonexistence - non-existent. I have trouble falling in love and my friends at work have been trying to set me up with one guy who I think is cute and nice, but I get so nervous I don't speak to him. Basically, I am asking if it is in the cards for me to fall in love with him.".

Oh my god, why is this question so adorable? OK, is this the guy for you? I mean, there's other things. There's other things happening here that I want to address besides, just like, are you going to fall in love with this guy? But that's what you're asking me and you know, I am your humble tarot servant, so let's just get that out of the way first. What does it look like between you and this guy from work your friends are setting you up with? That is, like, really adorable that your friends are setting you up with some folks.

All right. Is this the person that will make you come out of your shell? No. I mean, here's the thing. You might actually like him. The first card that comes up is the Hierophant. I feel like the Hierophant has already revealed himself, though, to be a little bit of a mansplainer tonight. I don't know what I'm thinking about him tonight, but you know the Hierophant is, you know, very wise. Good, grounded Taurus card, you know, can be really good energy, but then you have the Queen of Swords, and she's just like, no. You know, she's like, no, and all over the place, she's like, "No, no, no, no, no." And then you got the Seven of Cups, Debauch, which is like trying to, you know, trying to make something happen because you think it's going to make you happy and it doesn't make you happy.

So I want to ask - I want to think about a couple of things here. Can you have trouble falling in love? So, you know, is that a problem for you? I mean, here's the thing. People want other people to be in love like all the time. Perhaps you've noticed this. Like your - people are always getting pushed to like date and like, you know, when are you going to meet someone, etc., etc.? Are you OK with not dating someone? Maybe it's OK. The nervousness is another thing that I'm wondering about, you know, so nervous that you can't speak. I mean, it's OK to be nervous. We're all nervous sometimes. But if you're so nervous that you're not able to sort of function in sort of basic situations, then you know that is maybe what needs to be addressed, you know? And I'm wondering about that with the Seven of Cups here because of Seven of Cups is like, you know, when we go, we go to like, you know, there's that saying, "Don't go to the hardware store for a bag of oranges." It's like you're going to the wrong place to get a need met. So if you're having these problems where you know you get very nervous and you have trouble like connecting with people, sometimes I don't know that a person is going to solve that problem for you. I don't know it's necessarily about - if it's the person. I think maybe you need to do some work for yourself where you're trying to figure out, OK, do I have an anxiety disorder? I ask as a person who has one. I mean, what's going on here that I get so nervous? Like, what am I afraid of?

So - so I think - I don't know. Let me pick some cards on, you know, forget this guy that is being, you know, that your friends have so kindly set you up with, you know? I'm sure he is nice and cute, but like, what about you doing some work on yourself right now, whether that is, you know, through therapy or, I don't know, checking out some self-help books, whatever it is, like doing some journaling, writing a first list? But just kind of getting a little bit deeper into yourself to try to figure out what's going on for you. OK. Yes, that is the answer, my friend. You got the Ace of Cups again, a new relationship, a new relationship with yourself. The Knight of Swords. This is a very analytical air sign knight. So I think that like talking about this kind of stuff, whether it's with a therapist, whether it's with a close friend, writing, journaling, all that kind of stuff where you're applying your mind to like, "OK, what is this about? What is this about? What is happening for me and why?" And then you get the Magician, which is like... This is fantastic. It's like, this is going to like, I don't know, it's like, you're going to be a different person at the end of this examination. This period of self-examination is going to bring you into an era where like, you know, you get to like date or not date as you - as you wish. You know what I mean?

Like, not everybody really wants to do that, and I don't know if you'll want to or not on the other side, but I wish you a lot of luck on your self exploration because I think that's the real question. It's the question within the question Am I right? All right, you guys listen. It's seven o'clock. Does anyone have their hands up? Oh my god, some people do. OK, I'm gonna take one more question from you guys. Wendy, let's see. Wendy, are you there?

Wendy: I'm here. Can you hear me?

Michelle Tea: Yes, I can. How can I help you, do you have a question? Hi, how are you?

Wendy: I'm good.

Michelle Tea: Great.

Wendy: So I am too soon to be divorced. I'm thirty-three. I mean, thirty-four. And I kind of want to see like what's in the cards for me.

Michelle Tea: Like, what's the vibe like? So you're getting - you're getting divorced right now? Is it new?

Wendy: Is what new?

Michelle Tea: Your divorce.

Wendy: It's not finalized yet, but I'm hoping it will be within the next month. We've been separated over a year.

Michelle Tea: OK, so you're just like, heading out the other side of it and you're like, what does it look like on the other side of this?

Wendy: Yes.

Michelle Tea: All right. All right. I'm going to pull three cards to sort of get the gist. I'd say for maybe your next three months around it. Like it's not forever, you know, you're going to go through, you know, obviously so many things. But let's see what the - the next sort of three months look like around this. Oh my god, it looks so good for you.

Wendy: Really?

Michelle Tea: So yeah, it really, really does. So the first card that came up is the Princess of Wands, and she is really free and she is really exalting in her freedom and her liberation. She definitely... Like there's - there's a sense that there has been fear, but the fear has been faced, and it's a lot about trusting yourself like she's naked in the card, which is about being very vulnerable and letting yourself be vulnerable. There's an altar that she's burning her fears on. She's got the tiger by the tail, so it's not letting things stand in your way and really importantly, she has these giant sort of antenna on her head. So it's also a part about not being afraid to trust your intuition to like, guide you. So that's awesome. Yeah. Yeah. Your next card is literally Victory. It's the Six of Wands. It's Jupiter in Leo. And it's like, Yes, this was a right...

Wendy: That's my sign!

Michelle Tea: This is really excellent. Like, it was the right thing for you to end this relationship and you're really going to like, see and feel the results of that, the truth of that. And then you get the Princess of Disks and so it's like, she's really great, too. She's - she has just sort of come out of this tangle. You see her at the edge of a forest, and it looks like her path has been really hard. So it's like, I feel like the tarot's wanting you to acknowledge that, like this past year or so has been challenging. It's been a rough path, probably at some points. But you're on the other end of it now, and in this card, she's pregnant. It's a metaphor, you know, she's like - she has like a whole new thing to give birth to. So you've got this whole new life now to give birth to at the - on the other side of this, and I think you're going to be really inspired. These are just a really inspiring trio of cards.

Wendy: Oh, thank you. I appreciate that.

Michelle Tea: Oh yeah, you're welcome. I mean, just go into it just expecting the best, you know?

Wendy: Thank you.

Michelle Tea: You're very welcome. Enjoy the rest of your night. All right. Oh, thank you. I was a little lag here today on my - on my phone because I'm in the car because I'm awfully close. Closer than ever before to Knott's Scary Farm where I will be, I hope, chased by strangers with chainsaws. It's what I live for. It's what Halloween is all about. You guys are awesome. Thank you for putting up with the weird little technical difficulties tonight. I do want to let you guys know that you know we are - we're regularly scheduled, right? So you can come and listen to Ask the Tarot every week. But if you ever miss it, you can listen on-demand, OK? You can listen on Spotify, so, you know, make sure you can go find this. We put it out as a podcast every week. You can search for Your Magic and find it. And yeah, so - so you can listen if you ever have to like bail early on, or if you're just like, "Hey, you won't believe this friend of mine, but I got my tarot question answered on this show here." Listen to it. So it'll be up next week, OK? And I'll be back here next week. So come bring your problems and we'll talk. Bye-bye.