Ask the Tarot: Toxic Parents Edition

A recording of our Ask the Tarot live show from September 29, 2021 on Spotify Greenroom.

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Raven Yamamoto: Hey guys, it’s Raven, assistant producer at Your Magic and welcome back to Ask the Tarot. This is a recording of a live Greenroom show from Wednesday September 29th hosted by Michelle Tea. Now fair warning we did have some technical difficulties this time around. Mercury Retrograde is in full swing so bear with us through some glitches here and there but if you enjoy the show, you can listen to Michelle do it again every week on the Spotify Greenroom app. For the month of October, she’ll be live Thursdays at 6pm Pacific, 9pm Eastern on the Spotify Greenroom app. Make sure you’re following Ask the Tarot over on Spotify Greenroom to get notified whenever she goes live and go get your cards read. Alright. Here’s last week’s Greenroom show.

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Michelle Tea: Oh, my gosh. Hi, you guys. We've been through so much together in the past 11 minutes. I have been sitting here stress-eating Halloween candy. So I'm really sorry. Let's blame Mercury retrograde, OK? I'm so glad everyone can hear me and thank you, T.J. for telling me that nobody could. I've just been sitting here talking. So just, you know, just talking into the void as we - as we do all the time. 

So I just want to address first, that a couple minutes ago when we were trying to figure things out. I asked if anyone had a question on the chat and I'd pull a card for them and somebody did. Somebody said that they moved into a new home and they want to know how to make it their own and so I pulled a card from the Vessel deck, which I think is so good for things like this and you got - you got the Love card. How do you make your home your own? Love. So first of all, I think that means you bring love into your home, and love is people, places and things, right? Bring people into your home that you love. Can you have a little house warming party safely with, you know, vaccinated folks? Can you do that? Bring things into your home that you love. Are you able to, you know, get something really nice that makes you feel like love that you can bring into your home? You know, food is love. Can you cook in your home? Make it nice at home, you bring flowers in, you know, it doesn't have to be that wild. And I do want to say this because there are lots of beliefs that there are spirits in our houses, right? So maybe you want to offer a declaration of love to the spirits there and acknowledge that they love the house. You love the house and you guys all will work together with love to make the house, have nice, bright, beautiful energy, and be a safe and happy place. That's what I think. That's what I think the cards are saying, rather. 

OK, you guys, thank you for coming to Ask the Tarot. I'll go a little later today since we got a late start, so we'll still kind of keep that 60 minutes. If you have a question for the tarot, raise your hand, I'll call on you. I'm going to alternate between you guys here live and also questions that were sent to me at my Instagram account at @michelleteaz. If you ever want to ask a question but you want to remain anonymous, that's a good way. So listen to this. Those of you who were here, gosh, was it just last week? It might have been just that last week. Do you remember when there - somebody wrote in that her supervisor at work was like crushing out on her and they were having all this energy? And I'm like, "Oh my God, you should probably go to H.R." Well, if you remember, this person has written back and I love follow-ups, right? Don't you? So let's see what she has to say today. She says: "I'm back with more stupid drama." OMG." Since I last wrote you literally the day after you read my cards, I received flowers at work. This made my supervisor man a tad jealous, and he has backed off a bit since then. However, this now opens more questions. I genuinely had no idea who these flowers were from. I assumed it was from my most recent ex, but then I thought, just maybe it could be my child's father. Turns out it was my child's father. Him and I split up a long while ago, and for what I feel is good reasons. He has been trying to win me back and I am super hesitant to do so considering our past. But he wants to try again for our child, and that's always an attractive thing for a woman. After he sent me flowers, my most recent ex also showed up asking to work things out. I am now feeling so overwhelmed and a bit lost. I'm not sure if I should work it out with either of them or just say, fuck it all and find some other gem since I seem to be a hot commodity at this point in my life." This person is cracking me up. "I have an idea of what could happen with all the options, but the what ifs keep playing over and over in my head. Any help to try and clear my brain would be a much appreciated." And then she just let me know that she's got a lot of Leo and a lot of fifth house going on. Oh my goodness, I could have guessed she's - she's just so attractive, so magnetic like magnetizing people to her and that Leo way and seems to have, you know, a lot of you know, you know, the fifth house is the House of Theater, the House of Drama. OK? 

So I picked cards already. I used the Osho Zen tarot deck. You know how shocked was I after using the Osho Zen tarot deck for many years when I saw Wild, Wild Country and realized that the Osho of my tarot deck, like had tried to like poison the water supply of Oregon. Listen, sometimes bad people make good tarot decks. It's still a good deck. I'm using it right now, so I picked cards here. I said, you know, what does it look like if you go back with your ex who's sending you flowers? The card that came up and I got to say, I'm doing one card readings, even though I always want the three cards. You guys, I love the story of the three cards, but my gut, my goodness, I got 50 pages of letters from you guys of - of probs that I want to help solve. So I got - I got to start like... I'm gonna try doing one-card readings and see if we can still get the information we need. I asked the tarot while shuffling, "Pack a punch, give me give it all to me on one card here." So Seven of Swords, it does pack a punch. In the Osho Zen tarot, it's called Politics, and it shows this real, slimy-looking politician political dude who looks really toxic. He's holding a very smiling, happy mask, but there's like a snake coming out from him, you know, not to - not to malign snakes. I love a snake. But, you know, the message is really clear this person is manipulative. This person has ulterior motives. Maybe they think they really want to get back to you. But you know, you said you left him for good reasons. I believe you. I don't think that this person has changed. I don't think they're trustworthy. This is what the tarot saying, you know, you asked the tarot. This is what the tarot saying. 

Now, for the more recent acts, we get a more - a gentler read on this person. We get a card called Understanding and it's a court card in the suit of water. I don't know which one it is because they don't - it doesn't use that system, but the image is of a little bird sitting in a cage. But the gate is open to the cage and there are other birds flying to greet it. It's a really pretty picture, and to me, it seems like you can at least trust your more recent ex a little bit more who wants to get back with you. It seems like they are sincere. There's maybe a true love, true affection there, you know, a real devotion. 

But listen, I also picked for, you know, you're a gem, you're a gem. What if you just say no to both of these scrubs and try something all new and you got a pretty powerful card. Remember, I'm really asking the tarot to pack a punch with a single card readings here. You got the card that is traditionally the Hermit card, and this is called Aloneness. OK, you got aloneness. So, you know, should you say yes to both of these people? Both these people, these from your past? Yeah, you should. Is it so that you can find a new gem? Maybe down the road, sure. I mean, there's love for all of us down the road, but sometimes we need those moments when we're just on our own. I think that you... I don't know. It's like, you need to do magnetize your intense Leo fifth house energy or like, shine it all into yourself. You know, like the way that hermit carries in the tarot. He's always got a little lantern. You know that light? That's your light. Shine your light onto yourself. You need a break. You need a break from romance. The tarot is saying it, not me. Don't kill the messenger. She's got her Moon in Leo. Nobody with their Moon in Leo wants to hear that. But probably most people with their Moon in Leo need a break sometimes. Am I right? 

All right. So I'm glad that we caught up with one of the - friend - friend of the pod? Is that what it is? Oh my God, somebody's at a Dave and Buster's right now listening. I love that. That is so weird. Thanks for sharing. OK, who wants to ask a question right now. I'm going to call on Reginald Bird. Reginald Bird. Do you have a question for the tarot? I'll just keep snacking on Halloween candy while I wait. Is Reginald Bird there? Doesn't seem like it, huh? OK, let me see. I'm going to call on Alice Camilleri. Alice Camilleri Are you there? I don't hear anyone. I hope this is not a technical difficulties problem. I'm going to try one more time here, OK? Who's this? 

Querent: This is Alice. 

Michelle Tea: Alice, hello, fantastic. 

Querent: Michelle, it's so nice to speak with you, I love the podcast, I think it's awesome. 

Michelle Tea: Oh, thank you. Thank you so much for tuning into it. I really appreciate it. 

Querent: Thank you for having me. So excited. 

Michelle Tea: My pleasure. How can I this year? I'll help you out today? 

Querent: So actually, this is — I've been wanting to do this for a long time, but I thought today would be cool because it's my birthday today, so. 

Michelle Tea: Oh my god, happy birthday. 

Querent: Thank you so much. I have a question about like work and career stuff if that's all right. I am an emergency room nurse and honestly, really struggling with it lately. I'm not feeling fulfilled, not feeling happy, feeling stress most of the time. I'm wondering what it would look like to either pursue this career and like, maybe even continue on with education. Or what it would look like to just completely bag it and try something different. 

Michelle Tea: OK, so you know you're done being an emergency room nurse. So the question is, do you like stay in the field or just do something totally different? 

Querent: I'm not sure if I'm completely done with it. I know that right now I'm just feeling very overwhelmed by it. And I don't know if I want to just like, keep pressing on or if I - if it's worth it to me to just continue on with something different. 

Michelle Tea: OK, I hear you and I got it. Right now I'm shuffling, asking, what does it look like for you to keep pressing on? I mean, this is like such an incredibly intense time for people who do work like yours. First of all, thank you for all the work that you're doing. I mean, my God, my mom is a nurse and nursing is so challenging. It's so crucial. Emergency room nurses during a pandemic. Oh my gosh, you are a hero, but that doesn't mean... 

Querent: I appreciate it. Thank you so much. 

Michelle Tea: What do you look like if you stick with it? I'm picking - I am picking three cards for you and what is it look like if you go in a really different direction? What if you just say, "Hey, I did my time, I'm burnt out. You know, there's other things that I have interests in. There's other - other ways that I could be happy and make money." And what if you started pursuing that course of action and looking into different, different things that seem inspiring to you? What does that look like? 

I am using the Thoth deck like I do, and for staying - for staying at your job. Wow. Oh yeah. OK, so your very first card for staying is Oppression. Ten of Wands. That is when you are done. When that card comes up, it is Saturn in Sagittarius and you know that Sagittarius, it wants to, you know, Sag just so optimistic. It's the eternal optimist, right? So Sag is like, "I can do it," and Saturn comes down. It brings the hammer. It's like, "No, you can't. You can't do it. You thought you could do it. Maybe you could do it at one time, but you're done. You cannot do it anymore." The next card in your - in your trio is another Sagittarius card, the Eight, the Eight of Wands. It's Mercury in Sagittarius. It's called Swiftness. I'm seeing this as, yeah, you can rally. You can rally if you stayed. I mean, like all validation to how hard it is, but you can do it and but then the next card you have, rounding it out, Five of Disks, Wary. This looks bad. This looks like you can do it, but that doesn't mean you should do it. You know what I mean? Like, sometimes we have like great stores of resilience and capacity, but you know, sometimes they're not. It's not really great for us to - to lean on those on those like, you know, bits of our character. They can, they can,  they sound really nice, but it can end up hurting us, and it looks like - it looks like you did your time. 

Your cards for looking elsewhere, for a new occupation, look beautiful. The first one is the Three of Wands. I love the Three of Wands. The wands represent our energy and how we, you know, what is our direction in this life? What should we be doing? And with the Three of Wands, it means you're putting your energy in the right direction. So this is such a yes card to me. It's a yes from the universe. It's Sun in Aries. It's like very much about you and like, your one human life. What are you going to do? Your next card is the Two of Swords, which is Moon in Libra. It's called Peace. And so I just see this as like, it's going to be such a relief for you to be out of this, to be out of the emergency room. It's going to be such a relief to your mind. You're going to feel so good. It's going to be such a relief. Your final card is a little tricky, but it by no means is, you know, it means that you shouldn't take this path. Your final card is the Prince of Swords. He is a dude who's on this chariot, and he's come up before in the readings that I'm doing. This - his chariot can't move forward. He doesn't have the right tools and he's realizing - realizing this. He's realizing that the little fairies pulling his chariot aren't working, and he's about to cut their reins. He has his arm pulled back with his sword, so it's sort of about realizing something's not quite working and you know, you need to make a change and get more tools. So this might be like I wouldn't be surprised if you like, end up going back to school or end up going for some additional training. I think that, yes, you should be leaving the emergency room, it's time for you to do that. You will feel the positive effects of that, probably pretty quickly after leaving. And as far as like what your next move might be if you find yourself encountering a period where you feel confused or a little unclear of what you want to do like, it's OK. You know, that's the Prince of Swords. He's not terrible. It's - it's just one of those moments, and I feel like, you know, the thing that's great about him is he recognizes that he needs more. So I think it will be you recognizing like, "OK, if I want to go in this direction, I'm going to need to do X, Y and Z to make it possible." Does that make sense? 

Querent: It makes so much sense. Yes. Absolutely. 

Michelle Tea: Oh great. I am happy for you. I mean, it's stressful in its own way just to leave a job, but it looks like that's what you should be doing so. 

Querent: Wow. Michelle, thank you so much. This was beautiful. I appreciate you. 

Michelle Tea: Oh, I appreciate you too. Good luck to you. 

Querent: Thank you so much. 

Michelle Tea: You're welcome. Bye-bye. OK, you guys. So I'm going to go to some questions that came into my DMs. And you know, there's a lot of questions that have been coming in about toxic parents, narcissistic dads, narcissistic baby - baby daddies, you know, just bad situations in the family. So I'm just - I gathered them all together. Isn't that cheerful? And we're going to pick some cards. Here's the first one: "My dad has always been absent or hard to know much of my life. He moved back to his home country of France when I was 16, and it has been on and off many years. I'm now 45. My husband, daughter and I now live in a two-family that he owns. He lives on-site about a quarter of the year. He has a girlfriend in California. We haven't paid him rent since COVID started. He told us to move out last Christmas due to political and mask vaccination differences." Ugh, you know, just when you thought like the whole like Trump problem had passed and we didn't have to like, keep disowning family members over Trump. Now it's vaccinations. I mean, and of course, you know they're connected, aren't they? "It was a heartbreak. Then months later, he told us he didn't want us to look for a house. We had looked for a house during that interim with no avail due to intense house market. My heart gets broken by my dad and I don't trust him. I love where we live. It is a beautiful sanctuary that my husband and I caretake. My question's should we move? Should we try to talk to him more and have a legal agreement about living here? How do I accept him for who he is when my heart feels so battered by him?" 

Oh, I really? My heart goes out to you, querent. This is really tough. I mean, this would be tough if you were just dealing with, you know, the ramifications of the relationship with - with a dad like this, right? As so many of us are. And it's even worse when your housing is tied up in it. Me, me, Michelle Tea wants to tell you to just keep looking and get out of there, but it's not Ask Michelle Tea, it's Ask the Tarot. And, you know, the tarot said something very different when I picked. What does it look like for you guys to just keep looking for a house? New place to live. Get out of there. You got the Five of Cups. I am using, for this pull, I'm using Dame Darcy's Mermaid tarot so it's all mermaid imagery. I will put pictures of all the decks I use up on my Instagram after the show FYI if you want to take a peek. So this is a mermaid like on the shore, looking at a bunch, looking at some cups that have been knocked over. It's about disappointment, you know, plain and simple. It's a very disappointed card. And I'm like, OK, yeah, it's a little - it is a little heartbreaking for you to have to move. You're saying that you love where you live. It's a beautiful sanctuary. I believe you. So I wanted to see like, OK, but do you just eat the disappointment? Is it even worse to stay and try to talk to your dad? Surprisingly, the tarot says no. What you got for this is the Page of Wands. OK? It's a really cute picture, it's like this like, I don't know. I think he's a French sailor and like a little striped shirt, and he's holding a staff that has like coconuts and palm leaves growing out of it. It's really pretty. So, you know, the pages they are kind of they represent young people, youth like they're like, they're like the interns of the tarot, OK? They're learning. They don't know. They don't quite have the skills of the suits, but they want to have the skills. So this is interesting. So it's saying that there's - there's like a lack of skill here, but an earnestness to acquire the skills. So it's making me feel like that good faith, right? That good faith of wanting to do better, wanting to learn that is inherent to all the pages. Maybe this is your dad, OK? Maybe your dad... I mean, I don't know that he's going to suddenly become a different dad, right, and cop to, you know, being a dummy or whatever, but he might actually want to do a little better. He told you he didn't want you to move. Maybe he's still connected to that. Maybe he feels bad that he ever told you to leave, and maybe he will, in his own sloppy way, show up for the conversation and give you what you want. And likewise, you know, it says, you know, should we try to talk with him more? So it seems like I think your dad is the page in this situation. I don't really think it's you because it seems like you have experience with trying to communicate with him, right? But it's important maybe for you to recognize that — and this is so hard, OK, for like adult children of dysfunctional parents — that like you have more skills than your dad does. And that can be really hard because, you know, I think in our hearts, we're always children to our parents, right? We want them to be the parent even when we're 45 years old, right? We still want them to be the grownup here. But your dad's not the grown-up. It's like your dad has the coping skills of an eight-year-old. You have the coping skills of a forty-five-year-old. It's not fair. I'm sorry for you and sorry for us all, you know, who - who have situations like that. But just to deal with life on life's terms, that's the situation. So realize it's like you almost got to treat your dad like a kid a little bit and know that you're entering - entering into a conversation that you, you know, as trepidatious as you may feel. I think he feels a little more out of his league, OK? 

And I did pull a card for how do you accept him for who he is when your heart feels so battered by him? Oh, my heart goes out to your battered heart. OK? I went to the Vessel tarot deck, which I love for things like this when we're stuck in a bad situation and you got a card called Choice, OK? It's such an interesting illustration. There's like a bunch of hands with fingers pointing towards different stars or holding different stars, and there are some eyes looking at the stars. You always have a choice, and I think that's important because it makes me think that you must feel a little trapped right? For this card to come up, you must feel trapped in the same old situation with him. He does what he does. It gives you that same feeling it always gives you. You don't know how to respond and maybe you respond the same way you always do. But with the Choice card, you're just being asked to recognize there's something - there's something else you can do. You can't change him, right? I mean, that's not what I'm suggesting, but what can you do for yourself? It's a little different. Can you make a decision somewhere to help you cope with the effects of your broken heart? Can you make a different choice? Can you even recognize that maybe there are some different choices for you to make? For your own good, for your own happiness? And so, yeah, wishing you a lot of luck with that conversation and happy that you know that your child gets to grow up in such a beautiful space, it sounds like. 

All right. We're going to pop away from the toxic parents rock block, and I'm going to see who in the audience has a request. Liz Arroyo. It's your turn. Liz Arroyo, are you around? 

Querent: Hello? 

Michelle Tea: Hello. Is this Liz? 

Querent: Yes, it is. 

Michelle Tea: Hello, Liz. How can I help you? 

Querent: So I have a bit of a also, like moving forward with my life career school question, if I may. So I recently went back to school after being out for about eight years or so and I have been feeling a bit burned out and I'm just not sure if I'm putting my energy in the right direction. So I guess my question is I have sort of three things in my mind right now that I'm kind of thinking of. I don't know if it's behooves me to continue on with my current major. I'm a communications major, looking into like media studies broadcasting, or if I should go back to my old love of art and music, or if I should kind of put my energy into my new hobby, which is sewing and then I don't know, maybe trying to do some sort of like business with that. So it's kind of all over the place. 

Michelle Tea: OK, that's fine. That's great. OK, so the first thing I'm going to do is I'm shuffling, asking, what does it look like for you just to hunker down and stick with this communications, you know, media studies path that you're on? You know, I mean, it makes sense that you're burnt out. I mean, we're in a frickin’ pandemic. And even if you hadn't gone back to school after almost a decade of being out of that rhythm, it seems like, you know, just any - anything during the pandemic is a little exhausting and we're also burnt out by life. So maybe it's that let's - let's look at it. What does it look like for you to just commit to this path and just say, like, you know, there's bumps in every road? I'm going to stick through it. OK, so I'm pulling three cards in the Crowley deck for you for that. Now what does it look like for you to return to your old love of art and music? Oh, that's so inspiring. I mean, how great that that is there for you to fall back on? Like, I like that like art and music is the fallback plan. It's always the thing that, you know, people are advised to have a fallback plan for. 

Querent: I went to school for vocal performance. And I didn't - I didn't end up, you know, life happens and so I left school but music and an art has always been a love of mine, so. 

Michelle Tea: I picked three cards for that. And now I'm going to shuffle about this new sewing tier that you're on and what about this? What if you focus all your energy on your sewing and see where that might lead you? I mean, I can imagine so many places that are, you know, having an ability like that can lead you like as far as making a living. So see, what would it look like for you to put your energy into your sewing? Picking three cards. 

OK, let's see what we got for you. So sticking it out, sticking it out. Death. You have the Death car is the first one. Death, Power, and Completion. Oh geez, I mean, I'm going to weigh this against the other cards that come up, you know, but just off the top, it doesn't look awesome. I mean, the Death card. Yeah, you're burned out. You're really burnt out. You need regeneration. And you know, if there were really regenerative cards on the other side of this Death card, like The Sun or the Star or something, I would say, like, Yeah, you can get through it and you can get through it. It's not saying you can't. I mean, you have two fours. They're solid. Four of Disks is Power. It's Sun in Capricorn. So it's like, "Yeah, I mean, you can get through it." Capricorns are indomitable. They don't stop, they climb to the top of the mountain. And then, you know, the Four of Wands is called Completion and it's an interesting card. It's just saying it's not that you've completed your whole journey, it's saying that you've done enough work, that you've established something meaningful. So I think what it's saying is that like, you know, you're, you, you applied to school, you got into school, you're in it. Maybe that's meaningful. Maybe you've got to stick it out. But I got to tell you, I don't. I don't love it. I don't love it. 

Let's see what else we got here. Returning to music: Debauch, Disappointment, and Peace. OK, so that's not - that's not the right one, either. That's not the right one. You get the Seven of Cups. It's called Debauch. When that card comes up, we're searching for something to like, fill, fill a hole, fill a need. And we're usually - we're always when this card comes up going after the wrong thing. OK, so it's just saying that like whatever, whatever it is that you're searching for right now, as far as like wanting something that feels meaningful and maybe easier or - or whatever it is, this path is actually not going to give you that. The next card in line is Disappointment. So there's the Disappointment card and then there's the Peace card. So it's like you kind of come to an acceptance around it, but that's - that's actually worse than the Death card. 

OK, so now let's see about sewing. Let's see what the sewing thing is. This is quite interesting, OK. For sewing, you have two really powerful major arcana cards. It's like what I want to see, OK? It's the Emperor, which is like, you know, the Emperor's the king. It's like you want to - when you're talking about career things I like when the Emperor comes up, it's Aries. It's Mars. It's like, Yeah, let's do it like, it's ambitious. And then you have the Lust card, which is gorgeous and a great companion to the Emperor. It is Leo. So you get these two great passionate fire signs. Clearly, you're really interested in sewing and I would guess really good at it. And it's it seems like, you know, the Lust card is about a lust for life and the lust for all the potentials out there for us, all the opportunities that we can manifest. So these are really beautiful, but I have a warning for you. In the middle of it, you have this Cruelty card. It's the Nine of Swords. It's Mars in Gemini. So this is a warning. And I, you know, there's - there's something that I just want to check in about like, you know, I'm a writer, OK? Not to make this all about me, but like I had to learn the hard way that like, I'm really excited the first 50 pages into anything I'm working on. And then it gets really hard. And then I think, "Oh, I must have made the wrong decision. This is the wrong book. I should go and write a different book." And so I did that a few times and found that boom 50 pages in, same thing happened. And then I just realized, Oh, life is just hard. So what I'm wondering for you here is, you know, is there something that... Is there... I mean, the Nine of Swords is often an anxiety card, so it could be that this anxiety card is popping up around your sewing because you know, you're starting, you're going off in a new direction. And that's - and that's anxiety-inducing like you don't necessarily know. You won't necessarily know what all your moves are and even though you'll have a lot of passion and a lot of ambition, you might trip up and kind of - it might feel scary. But I just want to make sure that you're not just hopping from thing to thing. Does that make sense? 

Querent: No, it totally makes sense, because I feel like that's sort of usually what my issue is like. I kind of just want to do so much of everything, like it's taken me a long time to even get to the major that I'm at in school because I kind of just keep hopping around. I just kind of like, I'm honestly the type of person that I like, want to learn about everything and then kind of like, give that out back into the world. So it makes it very difficult when I'm trying to, like, hone into something so like having that be like the middle card totally makes and your like anecdote of like getting in the first 50 pages and then being like, "Oh, it's kind of hard. Let me try something else," like that, yeah, it totally rings a bell. 

Michelle Tea: Here's what I think the tarot is saying. I think the tarot is letting you off the hook for your communications major. I think it's saying that's fine. You know, like you could do it, but you don't have to do it. There is more joy available to you in your sewing, but you, you got to do it. You know what I mean? Like, you can't... You've got to be aware of this tendency that we're talking about right now and that you know, you're setting off on a path that is a little trepidatious like, and when those bumps arise, it's calling for you to be like strong and brave and passionate and like problem solve. It's not telling you like - like if you're exhausted, you just gotta know that life is exhausting and you've got to keep doing it. OK, so that's the - that's the thing. I don't think music is it, I think you either you either tough it out in school and you will have this sort of, you know, real-life, solid kind of thing to, you know, you get these fours here. So I mean, that is a hard but solid path. It looks like the path of sewing is a lot more exciting. But you know, you just got to you got to make yourself a promise to persevere, to find somebody that you know, can that you can have like an accountability pact with or something and not give up. 

Querent: Awesome. Okay. All totally makes sense. And it's really funny with the school thing too like it's been... It's not the first time where it's like, "Am I doing this just because I like want to have that stupid piece of paper? You know, and so or am I like doing it because I really want to do it?" And so having that be like the reading is just like, I don't - I don't need to, you know, I don't need to do it. 

Michelle Tea: The cards look like you're doing it for the paper and when I picked a little another card, I got another Leo card. I think the tarot is really telling you to follow your passion and not do what you think you're supposed to do, but do what brings you passion and then problem solve it from there. 

Querent: Awesome. 

Michelle Tea: Good luck to you. I can't wait to see your designs. 

Querent: Thank you so much. 

Michelle Tea: You're welcome. Hey, you guys are going to go back to our toxic parent rodeo here and see what we have. This is a tough one. This one was very tough to read. OK: "Two and a half years ago, I managed to escape an abusive relationship. Unfortunately, the abusive person is my child's father and they still have contact. I'm happy for the contact. In fact, I've offered more than my fortnightly contact. But the father prefers to use 50/50 custody via family court as a threat to throw at me, rather than actually focus on quality time with his kid. The father is a narcissist so constantly wants control and is absolutely outraged that I've applied for maintenance. I finally stopped fawning as a trauma response recently and stood up to him. He wanted me to wipe the maintenance arrears he owes his son. I said no. He said, I have to stop talking to his family. I said no. I said he can't control that. He said he could. Turns out he can and they've all disowned us. I need guidance. Does this ever end? Should I continue to set boundaries and stand up to him? Or was fawning the right way to balance all of this? I waver between complete empowerment and crippling fear. I would really appreciate a reading to just help me understand how this may work out and whether I'm doing the right things.". 

Oh oh my god, this is so stressful. I am feeling so intensely for this person, you know, to have to, you know, have somebody as somebody who has dated toxic people, then to have to keep them in your life. I can't imagine because of a child. Ugh. All right. I'm sorry for you, sister, and I picked some cards for you. So let me see what were the questions? Does this ever end? I wanted to know, what does the future look like for this? OK? And it looks like — I'm using the Aquarian Tarot, which is a Rider-Waite-based tarot deck — and it's the Page of Swords. OK? So oh my gosh, the Page of Swords. Here we get another page, right? So I was just talking about how the pages are the youth of the tarot. They don't really know what they're doing, and the page of swords, you know, swords is communication. So here's somebody who's sort of fumbling with communication. This is, I think, the querent. I think this is you. You're the Page of Swords. I don't believe that it's your ex because, you know, the Page of Swords, I don't know. I mean, actually, you know, the Page of Swords is just really about conflict anyway. So as far as it answering a question, you know, what does the future look like? This isn't going away. This problem isn't going away, and it's really interesting. The Page of Swords is learning how to finesse communication, and it seems like, you know, wavering between complete empowerment and crippling fear. It seems like you are also, you know, learning how to communicate in a horrible situation where nobody should have to learn how to do it, right? I don't like it. 

So here's some - here's some more cards for you. OK. Should you continue to set boundaries and stand up to him? You got the Nine of Cups. That's a yes. OK. In this deck, you know, though, Nine of Cups, it shows nine beautiful chalices, golden. They're all arranged. This is emotions, right? This is emotional stability. In front of them, is this person this dude who's got like, I don't know, funny little hat on. And you know, those are his cups and he looks, you know, he might look a little smug, actually, now that I look at him. But he's, you know, he's satisfied. He's confident. So you do want boundaries. I mean, looking at this card, it's almost like the challenges are a boundary. It's like a little fence of chalices. You do need to figure out some, some boundaries and you have to stand up for what is right. I think that that is really saying that. But you know, you're in a complicated situation and you got, unsurprisingly, a complicated tarot reading. I also picked cards like, you know, what about this fawning thing, OK? And I know I get an idea of what you're talking about, like kind of kissing his ass and playing nice when you hate his guts, right? But you've got the Strength card for that. And it's not the Strength card like in the Crowley deck, which kind of they - they gave it a different meaning. The traditional Strength card is about controlling are more wild and destructive impulses. OK, so which is really interesting because the Page of Swords in the Crowley deck, it's a lot. There's a lot of destructive impulses in that card. 

So ha, it's both OK, it's not one or the other. Should you have boundaries? Yeah, you should. I mean, obviously, like if he owes you money for your kid, of course, you get to do what you got to do to get it. That's so basic. Like, yes, you have to do what you have to do to feel OK. Fawning sounds terrible. It sounds like this terrible, oppressive, feminine way to manipulate power, and I just don't think you want to do that. But you got that Strength card. It's like, do you have to make nice a little bit, you know, balancing all of this in your own words, is that the right way to balance all of this? I don't think it's about fawning because you need to take care of yourself and you need to be strong, like you don't need to be anyone's doormat. And at the same time, the Strength card's a major arcana, and I think it is saying that it is important to try to find a way where you can resist your impulses to - any impulses to lash out, to be harsh, to be hostile. You know, when I was going through my divorce, I realized that any time I responded to my ex, it made everything so much worse. It made things escalate and get really crazy. So I - I started a really awesome little text thread with like my besties and I was like, I am going to just text you guys whenever my ex says or does anything that is egregious and I can't believe it. And so I started doing that instead of responding when they said something horrible to me, I would just text, "This is what my ex just said to me." And it was so gratifying to have everybody be like, "Oh my god, are you kidding me? Blah blah blah." So I got all this love. I got all this like stability from it, and I didn't interact with my ex, so I didn't have to, you know, I didn't wind up crying in an alley, smoking a cigarette afterwards, which is what I do when I'm in romantic pain. I don't know what you guys do. 

So anyway, yeah. Do that. You know, find a different way to let out your stress because it sounds so horribly stressful. Keep your boundaries and make nice. Both. But don't fawn. Don't sell yourself out. Don't throw yourself under a bus. I picked a card from the Vessel deck for you about just like, how? What is there for you? Like, what's there for you to help you manage the incredible stress of this and you got the Power card. So it's really reiterating that you don't want to give your power away to this person. You want to know your power, you want to be chill in your power and make nice when you can see the bigger picture and you can make nice, but it's not your own expense, you know what I mean? Then you want to do that. That's the Strength card. That's the like... Oh, I could say something right now, but I'm not going to. That's the Strength card. Nine of Cups is like, I also to take care of myself and my kid. That's Nine of Cups and you have the power to do all of that. And I wish you so much luck. You are not in a position anybody here envies so. Good - good luck to you. 

OK, let's see who we got here. Anyone who needs help? Whitney Bickle. Whitney Bickle, are you there? I heard someone for a minute, didn't you? 

Querent: Hey, Michelle. 

Michelle Tea: Hi Whitney, are you there? Yes. 

Querent: Oh no, this is Reginald. 

Michelle Tea: Oh my gosh, Reginald. Hi, Reginald, that's great. You're here now. How can I help you? The like Mercury Retrograde mysteries continue. 

Querent: Yes. So me and my partner, this is a relationship question. Me and my partner have been in a relationship for about three years now. I'm a Capricorn Sun. They're a Capricorn Sun, I'm a Gemini Moon, and they are a Taurus Moon Taurus rising, and I have my rising in Sag. It's a very - it's a very grounded relationship, but it's so grounded to the point where I'm... My Sagittariusness isn't being activated and like chatting with my friends like they're single and they're still out and about like seeing people and like sometimes I reminisce on like the good old days or I used to again, like, go out and just meet people and stuff. And me and my partner have talked about getting someone else in the relationship, whether that's like just - just for sexual purposes or actually like bringing someone into the relationship and they've been open-minded. But here's the thing. They have sexual trauma, and we've worked through that. He's gotten a lot better. But I - I'm at the point where I don't want to like, push and prod him with it. And I don't know if I want the relationship to continue or if I should just stay, if I should just stick in the relationship and stay. My intuition says to stay. But I don't know if that intuition is fear-based or if that's actually my intuition. 

Michelle Tea: OK. All right. So let me see. So you're done. So this is like, should I stay or should we go? But then I'm also curious about the idea about bringing another person in. Have you mixed that altogether because of your concern about where your partner might be at? 

Querent: Yes. 

Michelle Tea: Would want to put cards on that, because if your partner's telling you that, that he's interested, I mean, do you think you can take him at his word and look into that? 

Querent: I - I don't want to scare him from the possibility. Like, sure. 

Michelle Tea: Has he already said? 

Querent: Yes? But then there is... Where we kind of like back track and we're just like, well, if I'm not sure if it's coming out of fear, like just like, well, "I don't want someone else in the relationship and they steal me away." Or is it like sexual trauma? Like, is it something like, "Hey, if you're not OK with this, you know, say something." So I don't want to put them in a bad predicament. 

Michelle Tea: You're now putting them in any predicament, they're making their own decisions. I want to ask you how - did you say this to - have you asked him? Have you asked him if any of his trepidation is related to his sexual trauma? 

Querent: No.

Michelle Tea: Whitney, you've got to do that. I just pulled the Fortune card for you. You guys need to have an honest conversation where you share with him everything you're sharing with me and now I'm going to pick some cards. I'm going to, first I'm shuffling because it was the first thing you talked about with this idea of opening the relationship and listen, everyone's scared when they open a relationship. It's scary. There's a lot of worst-case scenarios to ponder, and that doesn't mean it's a no. It just means that, you know, it's good to express your fears, you know, and console each other and figure out what you'll do to support each other when you're feeling threatened because it is threatening. You know, it's sort of that thing like people think that like, you know, meditation, like, I can't meditate because when I try, my - my mind is filled with chatter like, that's what meditation is. You know, it's recognizing your chatter and it's the same thing for polyamory. It's like, "Oh, I can't be polyamorous because I'm jealous." Everyone's jealous. That's, you know, that's — polyamory is the practice of working with that, you know? So I just take three cars for you guys for opening it up in some fashion. And now I'm going to pick cards for you staying in the relationship. Which am I right? Did you say that it's your - your gut is telling you to stay, but you don't know if it's fear or not? 

Querent: I looked at my partner's eyes, deep into their eyes yesterday and my intuition said, "Stay."  

Michelle Tea: Oh, that's my God. That's such a sweet story. Wow. And it also seems so foreign. I have a friend whose partner is a Capricorn, and she makes my friends stare deeply into her eyes every night before bed. So I guess that's maybe is a Capricorn trait, staring deeply into the eyes, the mirror of the soul. I'm shuffling, I'm gonna pick cards for staying in the relationship, regardless of if you guys are open or not. Those are two separate questions. And now I'm going to pull some for, you know, is it time for you to leave the relationship? Is it - is your highest truth to be bound, out, single. You know, having the kind of life experiences that you know you really only have when you're single and mingling and I totally understand the Sag in you. The Sag always wants to roam, but always wants adventure. So is this, you know, is this part of your highest truth to leave? What does it look like? 

All right, so all right for opening up your relationship, let's see what this looks like. Listen, it doesn't look bad. It does not look bad, but it looks like it really does need a lot of communication. OK? And it's so important like get books, read books about polyamory. Don't just wing it, it's - it's hard and other people have tried this path before, and you can learn from what they went through. Your first card for opening it up is the Fool. It's like if there's a card that rules polyamory in the tarot, it's the Fool. It's like, "Yeah, we're going to do this thing," you know? It's like, you know, the fool, the tiger in this picture of the Fool in the Crowley deck. The tiger of fear is literally chewing on his leg, but he's still jumping off the cliff. He's not letting fear stop him. So, you know, this is you guys going forward in spite of all your concerns. Your second card is the Two of Disks, and it's called Change. Of course, your relationship is going to change as a result of this. It doesn't - I don't believe it's going to end as a result of this. It doesn't mean it's a bad change. It's just change. But here's the deal. It's Jupiter IN Capricorn, and you guys are both afraid of change. OK? Is my guess. Jupiter is like, "This is great. This is fun. This is more and more and more." You know, Jupiter rules Sagittarius. So it's like, you want this. You can have this and Capricorn's saying, "All change is a little scary, actually." So be prepared to be knocked around a little bit, which is why it's important for your final card to come into play. Mercury in Sagittarius, Eight - the Eight of - the Eight of Wands, Swiftness. It's about swift and direct communication. Say what you feel to each other. Voice your concerns. You know, like just be there for each other. Really communicate. It's a gorgeous card. There's a rainbow in it. It's the rainbow card. So it actually looks really good for you guys. You just have to know that it's going to be bumpy. Try to see. Just look at it like you're surfing, you know, the waves of life. But really, communication is so important. 

Now staying together, listen, this is so interesting. Staying together, I would say with maybe without the polyamory aspect of it, because that looks good. Obviously, you guys got to be together to be polyamorous, but staying together, doesn't... it doesn't look good. OK? The first card you have is the Princess of Cups, and she's like, so open. Like she's so full of love and she's so open and she's so unconditional and I believe, like, that's - that's you. That's this unconditional love that you felt when you looked into your partner's eyes and, you know, and they and they look back at you, you guys probably share this. But the next part is the Three of Swords, which is Sorrow and Heartbreak. And then it's the Eight of Cups, which is Indolence. So this is like, really rough. I think — the way I was looking at this is that, you know, if you got a good poly card, then I think you guys should try that out and see what happens. But if you got the - the bad staying together card, then maybe, maybe not. You know, the Sorrow card, its Saturn in Libra. It's just things aren't working out, and it's the sorrow of that, right? It's the sorrow of trying so hard, you know, in a relationship and having it fall apart. And then what comes after it is this Indolence card. Something's being neglected. So I'm really concerned about you guys' communication like, you know, the only real way to make sure that people's realities aren't being neglected is communicate. You know, you have to communicate what's real for you and what you need. Your partner has to communicate what's real for him and what he needs. And then there's this - this lack of - of caretaking that happened - that's happening. So I don't like it, Whitney. 

Michelle Tea: Here's your three cards for going out on your own. They're actually quite nice, OK? You have two court cards the Princess of Disks and the Knight of Cups. The Princess of Disks is like, really grounded. She's a great Capricorn card. Actually, she's maybe a little more Taurus, but she's a great Earth sign card. She has just come through like, Oh, this is Reginald, not Whitney. I'm so sorry that I just forgot your name. I haven't. 

Querent: Totally fine. 

Michelle Tea: No, that's what's important. 

Querent: It's fine. 

Michelle Tea: Thank you. Sorry about that. The Princess of Disks has come through a hard time. She's got a big tangle of woods behind her, so it's talking about really having been through something, really having been on a path and now you're changed and you have something new to deliver to the world. She's pregnant, so she's, you know, she's ready for like a new beginning. The next is the Knight of Cups, and he is making an offering of love to himself and possibly to another. So I would say that, you know, the Knight of Cups doing this. It's like it is an offering of love to yourself to - to to make a break and to be on your own and I do think that it's really interesting. I think there is maybe another love out there for you. This is a love card. At the very least, I think that that desire that you have to date and to be out and about in that romantic way is going to be very meaningful to you. It might not mean that, like there's another life partner that you're going to encounter right away. The Knight of Cups could really just be talking about like just the joy of like potential possibility offering yourself to people and having that reciprocated and then your final card — and this is why I think it's saying that it is a really good move — it's the Empress. And I mean, she's so gorgeous. She rules love. She's Venus, she's beauty. And I feel like the tarot was saying that there is a great like with all respect to the love that you have with your partner and the path that you guys have been on together, which is absolutely shaped you, which it shows here in these readings. With all respect to that, it looks like there is a more - a love that is perhaps more suitable and more rewarding for you out - out there in the world somewhere. Does that make sense? 

Querent: Yes, it does. That's a very interesting reading. Yes. 

Michelle Tea: Oh, my gosh, you know, I do want to give you a little warning here. Now looking at the... Looking at the poly stuff and the - you guys staying together, I don't know. I mean, if it looks like you guys are going to break up, don't - don't become poly because it's just makes everything so much more painful and I'm also concerned because those - those Three of Swords card - the Three of Swords you have for the breakup. That often is like a three-sided dynamic. So, you know, if you think it's possible that you're going to, you know... be really honest with yourself. If you feel like you're kind of done with this relationship and you feel like you could be swept away, don't become... Don't do polyamory because it's just going to bring in a lot of a lot more sadness to a situation. 

Querent: Fair. 

Michelle Tea: Yeah. Oh, I wish you luck on your on your travels. 

Querent: Thank you so much. Love you. 

Michelle Tea: Love you, too. Bye bye. Oh you guys. It is not fun to tell people that they should maybe break up with their - their beloved whose eyes they just looked into. God, that's so sweet. But I got to just I got to see what the cards are saying. You know what I mean? 

All right. We got another toxic family on deck. These are some... Toxic family in the UK. Here we go. OK: "My girlfriend and I have been together nearly two years and live together in the UK and are planning to eventually buy a place together. So we're pretty much planning for the long term. My girlfriend is not out to her parents who live overseas because they've been very openly homophobic in front of her for years, so she knows that coming out will be 99 percent be a negative experience. Because we live together now, it's getting harder for her to keep in touch with her parents without revealing anything, and it's causing her a lot of anxiety. So she almost wants to get it over with. My question is, what would it look like for her to come out somewhat soon? Probably over the phone/text." OMG. "While we're still renting versus what would it look like for her to wait until we own property? And she is fully settled here and won't need to depend on them again in case they decide to cut off contact? Thanks so much.". 

Jeez, it seems like the - the unspoken part in here is that there's some money involved maybe? Because why would the... Maybe it's like the parents are going to help you guys get this house and you're afraid being cut off also means renting forever. Like, like the rest of us? Let me see. OK, what does it look like? Let's just see what the overall picture looks like. What does it look like to come out really scared over the phone for a text? OMG. Listen, I'm somebody who has -who firmly believes that hard conversations can happen over text. Maybe it's because I'm a writer, but I feel like you can really look at what you're saying, you know, in black and white. Phone call is also good. You're not in the same spot. You know, I can see the benefits to - to coming out in this way. Maybe there's a letter, too. Like a good old-fashioned send in a postcard. Dear mom, I'm gay. OK, I'm going to pick two cards for this. What does it look like to come out soon, soon, soon, soon with the telegram versus what does it look like until we own property and we're fully settled here and won't need to depend on them again in case they cut her off. OK, yeah. Get that house. Get your stuff. Oh my God, you're a queer person who's been living with homophobic parents. You deserve it. You deserve that house, right? You deserve it, OK? I just want to see - say that I see people in the chat loving on Reginald, and it's so sweet. Reginald, I'm so sorry. There's these - these turning points in the relationships are so anxiety-inducing. All right back to our querent. Back to the querent at hand, what does it look like for the querent's partner to wait? 

All right, let's see. ASAP. What does it look like for ASAP? We got the Three of Disks, Works. Mars in Capricorn. The Two of Disks, Change. There's that guy again, Jupiter in Capricorn. And The Star. Well, golly gee, that looks great, actually. That looks great. I mean, I really like the way Capricorn is showing up in this. It's like, you know, something like... This is just what needs to be done. Like, I should've come out three years ago, you know what I mean? It's like, it's like it's past the point. We've got to do it. You've been in a relationship for years, and Capricorn just wants to take care of business and the Star at the end, it actually looks really nice. Like, you know, partly I'm just taking that as a yes from the tarot. Like, "Yes, this is the way to do it," but I can't help but think maybe you know, the Star is wishing upon a star. It's Aquarius. It's, you know, maybe the parents will rise to the occasion. 

Waiting? Let me see what waiting looks like. Waiting looks bad. Waiting looks bad. OK, Futility is the first card. Seven of Swords, which makes me think. You can't wait. You know what I mean? It's like, it's like. We can't even put cards on it like you're just she's exploding. This needs to come out. It's futile to think that you can wait. There's the Ace of Wands, which is great, but then there's Disappointment. OK. It just looks — OK. These are no's. These are no's from the tarot. So yes, you should do it now. So curious. 

Phone. Phone looks good. Six of - Six of Cups, pleasure. Text looks bad. Text is Five of Swords. Defeat. OK, I understand. I understand. Not wanting to, the distance of a text. But you've gotta call. She's gotta call. She's gotta call and work out what she's going to say. You know that Three of - Three of Disks, that Works card, the Mars in Capricorn. They're not doing it willy nilly. This is not Sagittarius Energy. Like you guys, I'm gay. It's - it's very thought out. It's - it's planned, you know? And then there's that change. I really love that. Like, OK, Jupiter and Capricorn. Again, a weird mix. But Jupiter is saying, This is good, you guys. OK, this is good. This is going to bring relief. This is going to bring, you know, opportunity somehow for like a more honest connection, more honest communication. Capricorn is freaked out. This might be the parents, you know, Capricorn is, you know, it's seen as the very, you know, the conservative energy in the universe is, is that Capricorn and that, and that Saturn. So this could be the parents being like, "Holy shit." Give them a minute. They might need a minute to rise to the occasion, but I'm going to let - I'm going to let myself be hopeful and inspired from that Star card. And I hope you guys can - can have that too and - and let yourself be hopeful that maybe they will rise to the occasion and their love for their daughter will be bigger than, you know, their ignorance around queer stuff. 

Oh, you guys are so great. You're so brave. Go and do it. Don't wait. And, you know, even if you get cut off, you know, I don't know. I never got cut off because, you know, my parents are broke, so I don't know what that's like. I bet it sucks. I do. I do, but it sucks. But - but you know, you'll be OK. I really do feel like you'll be OK and the truth needs to come out. I am going to just give you one more question that I got here in my DMs. 

OK, and that'll be the last one. It's from this, you know, it's from the bad family batch. "My parents are in a messy legal dispute that's been going on for over five years. My father is a complete narcissist and definitely has some psychopathic tendencies. He is set on making life hell for my mother. And although he pretends to care about his children, the trauma I have from him proves otherwise. I'm really in need of some clarity on the situation and would love if you could shed some light.". 

OK, so you know, what's the question here? I'm seeing, you know, no actual questions here, but I am seeing a person in pain, OK? This looks incredibly stressful, so I'm going to turn to my Vessel deck, which has a lot of insight in it and I'm going to ask, what are some energies for you? OK? What are some things that you can think about, channel, maybe even do to help yourself get more clear on the situation? OK, so I'm not sure what your questions are like. Maybe you want to cut your dad off if you've already cut your dad off, like, I don't know. So I'm definitely just going to see what kind of guidance or clarity. That is something that you did say. Clarity. Clarity, clarity. Let's see. 

All right. Three cards here. Whoa, this is wild, you guys. Once again, the tarot gives advice that I would not. But you know, I can be a petty bitch. Well, you know, I mean, you know, to be fair to everybody, it's - it's not being a petty bitch to like, not want contact with a psychopathic, narcissistic parent at all. It's often the healthiest thing you can do, OK? So... But it looks like, you know what? What's your move here? OK, the first one. The first thing you have here is Self-Doubt. First card here is Self-Doubt. So - so you need clarity. Your self-doubt is getting in the way of your clarity. You have to trust yourself, you know? And so what does that mean? I don't know what if you sat down with some paper and you wrote down like, what do I know about the situation? What do I know? And you just let yourself write from that place. I know this. I know this. I know this. I know this, you know, to try to not talk yourself out of, you know, your experience. So there's that, there's self-doubt. And, you know, maybe that doesn't resonate for you. Maybe something else does. But think about self-doubt. What does that mean? 

Next, Childhood. You got the Childhood card, OK? It's - it's an intense card. It's two hands holding an egg above a bunch of thumbtacks. OK? And those little hearts around the egg. So I think that suggesting that, you know, that's those - that's somebody - that little egg had a good childhood. But those of us who have had narcissistic parents, we probably got dropped on the tacks. OK? You probably got dropped on the tacks. I'm sure you got dropped on the tacks. So that's real. That necessarily informs you and it's OK to let that inform you. OK, it's OK to hold that reality of like what you've been through and, you know, and that you have trauma from it, as you said, as you know. 

But here's the kicker. Here's your final card. It's Forgive, OK? I mean, this is so hard for me. I mean, spiritual paths often really tout forgiveness as like, you know what, we should all be aiming for here is forgiveness. And that's hard for me sometimes. I can't tell if I'm just being rebellious or I'm like, "No," you know, or being a baby or I'm like, you know, doubling down with my lower self or what, you know, because I find that really hard. I know I'm not alone here. But it looks like there's some aspect of forgiveness that needs to come into play. Hey, maybe you've got to forgive yourself, OK? Maybe have to forgive yourself for keeping him in your life. I mean, whatever you're judging yourself for, maybe you want to make a list of that too. Are you judging yourself for anything? What is it? And then you can see if you need to forgive yourself for anything. But Self-Doubt, Childhood, and Forgive. That's what you should keep in mind moving forward right now while - while you're dealing with this narcissistic parent, I'm so sorry. 

OK. Oh, you guys at 6:16, am I ever going to go to the grocery store? So I'm actually not going to call anybody else up where we're little, we're a little bit, we're even more over than I - than I planned on going and I planned on going a little bit over. Please come back next week. We'll have all new questions. And you know, I didn't get through all of the bad family ones, but you know, we also got a bunch of people stuck in weird relationships. We got people having problems with other people's children. I mean, we have a lot... There's a lot of help that needs to happen. So come back next week, we'll see what questions we can get to. I will try to get to as many of you guys live as I can and check out the Your Magic podcast on Spotify and have a great week. Thanks for trusting me with your problems.