Ask the Tarot: On-and-Off High School Sweethearts, Uprooting Your Life & Taking the Hard Path
A recording from our Ask the Tarot live show from August 23, 2021. Follow @michelletea on the Spotify Greenroom app and listen live every Wednesday, 5pm PT/8pm ET.
Michelle Tea: Hello, welcome to Ask the Tarot. This is a live show recorded on Monday, August 23rd when I, your host, had a horrible summer flu. So please excuse my goblin voice. If you'd like to be part of an Ask the Tarot, you can turn into Spotify Greenroom every Wednesday night, 5:00 PM Pacific, 8:00 PM Eastern, and maybe I'll pick some cards for you. Here's the show.
Hey, everyone, thanks for tuning in to Ask the Tarot, this is Michelle Tea, your tarot host. Listen to my voice, you guys. It's not sexy, is it? I have a cold. It's not the 'rona. I did the testing, but I just have this weird cold that's making me sound like — I wish it was a little bit more like Lois Lane-y, like rough, sexy, like voice but instead I just feel like I sound a little bit like a, like some sort of like garbage troll. So sorry about that. But here I am. I'm ready to pick cards. I got a whole bunch of questions, some leftover from last week. New questions for this week. And if you would like me to pick a tarot card for you and actually talk to you with this troll-y voice, just raise your hand, OK? And I will find you.
So here's one that is from last week, and it says: "I wanted to ask for guidance on the path my partner and I should take to move our lives. Our current living situation isn't ideal and we're just feeling stagnant. We have been discussing out of state to Seattle and have begun planning but I want to know if this will be successful or are we headed for trouble? We are open to multiple places. Where will we be most successful on our own? Seattle, Sacramento, or somewhere completely different?
You know, I love questions like this, you know, I love multiple-choice. Like what's behind door number one, door number two, door number three. I'm going to pick one card for each place. I'm starting with Seattle. So what does it look like for our querents? Do you guys know that's the name for people who are seeking guidance from the tarot? You're a querent. Here's one card for Seattle. Now let's look for Sacramento. I'm gonna pull one card from Sacramento — for Sacramento for these folks. And then what if there's another place that they're like they dare not even dream up? Maybe it's like deep in their hearts and they're like, this is where I've always wanted to live or some other place. Some other place. OK, so let's see.
Oh, it's looking good for Seattle. Two of Wands, Dominion, like lots of energy there. Mars in Aries, like just going for it. Oh, but Sacramento is The Aeon, that is about... The Aeon card — I'm reading with the top deck — The Aeon card in this deck is a riff on the Judgment card, and it's really great for new beginnings because it's about cracking open a whole new era of your life. And at first, you don't know what you're doing. You're like, why am I in Sacramento? I don't understand. But then, like, it all becomes clear. And now for someplace else. Queen of Wands.
OK, listen, you asked the tarot's opinion and as the interpreter of the tarot, I say move to Sacramento.
All right. I'm going to go and see who you would like to come up and ask me a question. Who do we got here .
Querent: Yes, how are you?
Michelle Tea: Oh, I'm good. You're a little echoey. I wonder how we can stop that. Maybe... well, you can't really mute yourself if you're talking.
Querent: Yes.
Michelle Tea: But when you're not talking, maybe you mute yourself. How can I help you?
Querent: Thank you. Thank you for having me. So I would like to pick cards if you - if you - if you would like so about my love life and stuff.
Michelle Tea: What's your question about your love life?
Querent: I mean, I couldn't find my significant other, so I want to pick cards about that. On will I be able to find in the upcoming year?
Michelle Tea: OK, you want to know about finding a significant other? OK, I have a question for you, because you have popped up here a couple of times on this show so far, haven't you?
Querent: Just once before.
Michelle Tea: Oh, one other time. OK, well, what is one thing — I want to think of strategies for you. Like what's something you can do to get yourself out there and meet a person? Let's come up with one idea and then I'll pick a card on it and we'll see if that looks like a good strategy for you to meet like your next date. So, like, what is one thing that you think you could do to help yourself meet somebody?
Querent: Probably go out tomorrow.
Michelle Tea: Yeah. OK, so what does it look like for you? I'm going to ask the tarot right now, what does it look like for you if you go out more with the intention of meeting people? So you go out with the sort of openness. You go out sort of, you know, looking and feeling your best. You go out and you're sort of outgoing with an outgoing sort of vibe. What does that look like? Will that bring to you somebody to engage in some romance with? Let's see. It's oh, no, that's not quite it. It does look like — here's - here's the thing. Here's the - here's the problem. You've got the Nine of Disks, which is it's called Gain. So that's good. So that's like, yes, right? But you have the Princess of Cups, which is kind of basically like that's a picture of you going out and flirting, the Princess of Cups. Look, she's very open. But then in the middle you have this Debauch card and it's the Seven of Cups and it's like the Seven of Cups is just so thirsty. That's the problem with it — it wants it so bad that it sabotages itself.
So there's something — there's something about that that's just like not quite working right. So it's like there's — it's something about when we want something really bad that we have no control over, like a change in our love life, things like that. It's like having to strike that balance between like intending to bring that into your life, but also not obsessing on it. And it seems like if you did this, it would almost like amp up the obsession, the obsessiveness. Does that make sense?
Querent: Yeah.
Michelle Tea: All right, well, here's I have, like tarot reader homework for you if you choose to to take it, you don't have to, of course. But think of some other things that you could do that could maybe like get some more like romance potential going in your life and come back next week. I'll be here at a normal Wednesday like I normally am next week, next Wednesday. And we'll pick cards on more of those things because that's how the tarot is really helpful when it kind of works with you, like taking action in your life, helping you see what actions and what directions are the best. Does that make sense?
Querent: Yes. Thank you. Thank you, Michelle.
Michelle Tea: Good luck to you. OK, so let me see what we got here next. We have another question. This one just came in from this year — this year. They're all from this year. This one's even from this week. OK, well, this is - this is a very juicy one, you guys: "I think my boyfriend of three years is going to propose soon. I love him so much, but I'm so scared of the idea of forever in general. Could you please let me know if it looks like I'm with the right person?".
Oh, my goodness. Wow. She's staring down the barrel of a proposal, you guys. OK, let's see. So what does it look like if our querent says yes to this proposal? Oh, my goodness. Hope it hasn't happened yet. How does anybody live their life without tarot guidance? OK, so what does it look like for our querent to say, "I do," to this proposal? OK, one, two, three. And what does it look like for our querent to say, you know, "I just think that marriage is like a patriarchal bourgeois construct and can't we just keep living in sin together and having fun?" What does it look like for our querent to say, "No, I don't think I want to get married," and then who knows what comes after that? OK, you guys, I got proposed to you this year. It was really fun. I did say I do. I got proposed to in like my favorite cemetery. It was a beautiful moment.
All right. Let's see. Yes. For saying yes to the proposal — oh, it looks very good to say yes. But what does it look like to say no? Oh, no. You want to get married to this person. Yes. You want to marry this person. So your first card is the Four of Disks. It's called Power. It is Sun in Capricorn and this is a card that can have a lot of different meanings. But it basically, you know, with - with these - it's with a bunch of beautiful cards. So it means in this context, a great foundation of really good, solid foundation, something that you can rely upon. I mean, this guy is not a — he's not a scrub, you know what I mean? Like, he's going to be like, take care of business. You guys are like in it together. It's good.
Your next card is the Six of Disks, which is called Victory. And I mean, hello, the sixes are all beautiful. They're the cards of beautiful perfection. And so it's saying yes to that.
And then your final card is the Three of Wands, which is called Virtue. It's Sun in Aries and I always see the Virtue card as like an itty bitty baby universe card. So it's because it's about you have taken all of your life energy and you put it in exactly the proper direction and now you're going to get beautiful outcomes. So it's kind of like a lovely destiny card and like, yeah, these are no brainers. You should totally marry this dude. If you say no, what do you get? Debauch, you get to Debauchery, you get nights of meaningless, tawdry sex. No, I don't know what the Debauch card means for you.
You get the Debauch card, the Knight of Disks, which is like in this context, like not moving. He's a knight that's not moving. So there's really nothing happening.
And you get the Princess of Disks, which I don't know, I'm not really reading very much — like her paired with these other two cards in this context, she's giving me nothing, you know what I mean? So it just looks like it's like... If you - if you say no, it's like you're sort of you're on the run, you know? That's - that's kind of what it looks like to me. If you say no, if you say yes, it looks like you're moving into something that's exciting. Just talk about your fears of forever. I mean, that seems really normal to me. You know, who can conceptualize forever? I mean, it's pretty hard, but just talk it out and maybe enjoy getting proposed to and you can invite me to your wedding. OK, thank you. Bye.
All right. Who do we have next here? Gonna put that one away, that's a good one, right? All right. I'm going to see who is here to be called up. And we have Kristen Hall. Kristen Hall, hello. Hm, maybe Kristen Hall is not happening, OK? Oh wait, no.
Querent: Can you hear me?
Michelle Tea: Yes, I can. I can hear you.
Querent: I'm sorry about that.
Michelle Tea: That's OK. Listen, everybody listening. I want to let you guys know I am coming to you live from a hotel room in Tucson, Arizona, where I have tried to have the air conditioning off for sound quality, but I might pass out so the air is going back on. I'm sorry for the hum in the background. The tarot is still electric. We're all going to be OK. How can I help you, Kristen?
Querent: Hello?
Michelle Tea: Hello, what's your question?
Querent: Oh, yes. I was wondering if I should continue forward with, like someone — my current love interest — or move on to a different one.
Michelle Tea: OK, OK. So the first one is, what does it look like if you stay with your current love interest? I love this, ok. Shuffling this person, what does it look like if you keep hanging around, investing your time, investing your energy, investing your smooches in this person? OK, now the other or if you — are you saying that the other person doesn't exist yet? But like, what if you just go out, look for a new person?
Querent: Exactly.
Michelle Tea: OK. What if you just say something? I'm not feeling it. This is not the match for me. I'm going to just put myself back out on the playing field and see what happens. What does that look like for you? So if you stay with this guy, see what this looks like... It looks like it could be done. But I really want to see a comparison. Oh yes, stay with this guy.
Oh, my God. Wait a second. OK, we've got a very complicated reading, OK? Dare I say that you are supposed to... okay, don't be mad. Don't kill the messenger. This is what the tarot is saying to me, OK? The tarot is saying that you are meant to break up with this person to see what else is out there. But then guess what you're going to do? You're going to go crawling back to this guy because he's really good for you. Isn't he — the guy? Why am I being so hetero-centric? I'm not even straight. Whatever, whatever gender of a person you're looking for, it looks like if you stay with the person you're dating, there's something you have to adjust to. There's something that doesn't feel quite right for you, but you have to just commit to it. And if you do, it's almost like you're always going to be wondering, like what else was out there, you know?
Querent: Mm-hmm.
Michelle Tea: It doesn't it doesn't look totally right. But then here's the deal. If you do, like, leave this person and see what else is out there, you get two really bad cards. So the Indolence card, which is the neglect, emotional neglect. And then The Death card followed by The Universe. So it's really interesting. It's like this path should be on. You actually should be kind of seeing with your own eyes, like, what else is out there like maybe you need to have the experience of like, oh, I broke my own heart or I made a wrong decision. You know, it's like we seek out things like the tarot because we want to know what the best path is because we want to avoid pain and we want to avoid discomfort. But what I learned through doing tarot is that a lot of times we're supposed to be on a path that's a little painful or a little uncomfortable because that's how we figure things out about life. Does that make sense?
Querent: Yeah.
Michelle Tea: I wish it wasn't — I wish I wasn't delivering this to you because that, it like sucks to tell somebody that, but it looks like this guy is really good for you. But it's also like you're a little restless and you need to actually tend to that restlessness by going out into the world, sowing a few wild oats, realizing like, damn, I should shoulda — this person's really good for me. I'm going to go back and then you can go back with your whole heart and you're not kind of looking over your shoulder wistfully. Drink the glass of chardonnay at sunset going, you don't want to do that.
Querent: Well, just a little background. He is my high school sweetheart. We've been on and off for like twelve years.
Michelle Tea: Jesus! There you go.
Querent: It makes sense.
Michelle Tea: Yeah, it really makes sense. It really makes sense. Go have a few like dumb affairs that leave you feeling crappy and then crawl back to him and get married.
Querent: I already did that, the crawling back phase.
Michelle Tea: Oh I see. OK, I'm giving up on reading, Kristen. I'm sorry. I can't help you more than that.
Querent: It's okay, no. It shows I'm on the right path.
Michelle Tea: Yeah, I think so. I think so. He's good for you. That's for sure.
Querent: Thank you so much for this. I mean a lot.
Michelle Tea: You're welcome. You're welcome. Thanks for tuning in. Oh my God. High school sweethearts. That's adorable. Now, let's see what other questions we have that have been waiting for us, OK? Oh, this person has lots of questions. I'm just going to do them one at a time. I'll just do one card for each question. All right. The first — "first I would like to know what the cards say about my relationship with my brother. We are not in the best place in our sibling relationship, but we'd like to know if it's worth trying to fix or should I just wait for him to be ready to reach out to me? Any help would be appreciated.".
So I'm pulling one card for her reaching out to him and just like being that person, being the bigger person. And then I'm doing one card for her, just like waiting and letting things evolve on their own.
OK, now moving on to two. "I am getting married in about a month. We just bought a house and I am thinking about returning to school for my master's. I'm afraid the timing is crazy, but I would like to know if it's the right time or should I wait?" You know going for your masters? It seems like it's always a crazy time, right? It's like one of those things. Here's one card for doing it right now. Just do all the crazy things at once. Sometimes that's the best thing to do. Or not. Don't do it. Let me see, I'm picking a card for not doing it also.
Number three, "I would like to know what the cards about my career. I'm starting my fifth year teaching and would just like to know what is in my future as far as my career? Thank you for all your help." OK, let's see what this teaching vibe is has going for you and what the bigger story is on that card with a teaching vibe.
OK, so should you call your — oh, yeah. You should definitely reach out to your brother, OK? For you, the card for reaching out to your brother is The Chariot. That's - that's a very powerful action card. It is a yes. It's a family card. It's Cancer, which is the sign of the zodiac that really rules the family. So yeah, I mean, you definitely want to be the one to reach out. Waiting for him to reach out, you might just be waiting forever because you've got the Knight of Disks. He's the only knight whose horse has all four hoofs on the ground. So that knight is not moving and your brother might not be calling you. So yeah. You want to do that and it's like you've got it in you to do it. Just be grateful that you are the one with the impetus to do it and try not to be resentful and just do it.
OK, should you go for your master's? Yes, do it right now. You got The Empress card. OK, that's really beautiful. Again, it's a major arcana. For you folks who, you know, know tarot, I mean, hopefully you all do a little bit or else you wouldn't be here. Major arcana cards are just worth a little bit more than minor arcana. So when they pop up, you really stop and look at them. So the cards are going back to school is the Empress. I just see that as being you'll be supported, you'll be nurtured, you'll be carried. You'll love what you're doing. Yes. And for not doing it, it's the Oppression card. You're going to wish you did it. You're going to be like, "wait, why didn't they go back to school?".
And now teaching what is teaching looks like for you. You're not going to do this forever. You're definitely getting something out of it. The centerpiece card for these three cards is Art and I feel like the Art is a riff on the Temperance card in the traditional tarot and so I feel like it's saying like, "you know what it is." Like you know how it feeds you and you know how it sucks, right? You're probably a little bored with it. On the one hand, you have the Knight of Swords. He's very clear. He's moving forward. He's very smart. He knows what he's doing. On the other hand, you have Seven of Disks. It's called Failure. You're over it. You're like, I don't want to do it anymore. That's why you're going back to school, though. So this is all working out for you. Congratulations. You're welcome.
Michelle Tea: All right. I think I'm going to move to the room right now and see who do we have waiting to talk to me. Jonathan Hamlett. Hello. Can I help you? Oh, my gosh. I really hope Jonathan Hamlet is still here. Maybe, maybe not. You guys —
Querent: Hi, sorry. I'm just - just learning how to use this app.
Michelle Tea: Oh, well, thank you for taking the time to figure it out and to ask me a question. It's so lovely to hear from you.
Querent: Yes. So I've been working on a creative project for a while now.
Michelle Tea: OK.
Querent: And I'm hitting a lot of walls. It's been challenge after challenge and I want to know if it's time to just walk away from it or persevere. The only way out is through, you know? So it's either...
Michelle Tea: OK. All right. That's really clear. So right now, I'm going to - I'm going to shuffle some cards saying what does that look like for you to just say, like, you know, I'm just going to cut my losses? I appreciate what I've learned from this, you know, my time in this process, but I'm going to take some messages that it looks like the universe are sending me and I'm going to put this project down and I'm going to, like, put my energy in a new direction. What would it look like for you to do that? For you to say bye-bye? Picking three cards and conversely, like you said, the only way out is through. What if you just stick with it and you're like, "this is just a bumpy path, it doesn't mean it's the wrong path or a bad path. It's just a bumpy path." So what if I just stand by my investment here, investment of all my energy, my creativity, and see what it comes to? So I'll pick three cards for that.
All right. So for walking away, you have the Prince of Swords, Fortune, and Prudence. That is kind of powerful. But I want to see what does it look like for you to stay? Luxury, Ace of Swords, and Worry? Oh, my gosh. It really might be time for you to call it quits with this project. Let me elaborate. So the three cards you got for calling it quits, the Prince of Swords, he really wants to move forward. But like he — his chariot is being pulled by these three little fairies that are just they're too small. They're too small to really pull this chariot. And he knows it. His arm is back. He's about to slice through their reins with his sword. So this is saying to me that on some level, you know, that you've exhausted a lot of your resources. You know that like what you're working with maybe just can't get bigger than what you've - than the container that you have for it, but then you have the Fortune card. So it's sort of like by moving away from it, you open up all of this amazing — you open up space for this amazing, positive change to come your way. And I would say that that Fortune is probably being built on the back of whatever this creative project is. Like, I really don't think that time is like lost time or lost energy. I just think, like, this new direction is going to be really, really invigorating.
And also, this is really important. The Prudence card, the Prudence card, it's Eight of - it's Eight of Disks. The illustration is really beautiful. It's a tree that's bearing these vibrant flowers. There are leaves curling around the flowers. And it's a lot about self-care and self-protection. It's like these flowers... so much has gone into growing these flowers and, you know, and so the leaves have to protect them to take care of them and it's interesting because it's like so much has gone into this project that you're working on. But really, it's like so much has gone into you and your creativity and if this is sapping your creativity and making you feel frustrated, it's not caretaking you. So it's sort of — the message I'm getting is that by putting this project down, it's like an act of self-care for yourself.
It looks like if you keep going, you have the Four of Cups, which is Luxury, the Ace of Swords and the Five of Disks. I don't like this combination. The Four of Cups. It's like, yeah, you could kind of keep it going. It seems like maybe there's always a possibility of something happening. The Ace of Swords is great, but I feel like it's a little bit of a false start because then we get the Worry card right afterwards. So it's like it seems like maybe there's like a new direction or a new way to do it, but then it's like the same old problems raise their heads. Does that make sense?
Querent: Totally.
Michelle Tea: OK, I hate delivering bad news, but I don't think it's truly bad news because the Fortune card is such a huge gift. It's saying that like, you know, whatever - however you might feel about this project, there is something that's waiting out there for you when this is behind you that's going to give you all of that energy and satisfaction and everything that you're looking to get from a project. It's there for you on the other side of this.
Querent: Awesome. Well, thank you for the insight and the foresight.
Michelle Tea: You're very welcome. Good luck to you and whatever artistic project you wind up doing.
Querent: Thank you.
Michelle Tea: You're welcome. Okay, let's see, what do we have laying around last week that's not yet looked at? People hang in, OK, this is a - this is a big one. Here we go: "COVID has made the last one and a half years difficult." No kidding, Mary. "But in that time, I also moved to a new city with my ex and went through a breakup with said ex." You guys fill up that comments if you went through a COIVD breakup. "He moved back and I decided to stay despite not having any friends or acquaintances here. I've made a couple of friends here and there, but I'm really worried about how isolated I have become. Before the Delta variant, it felt like things were on the upswing." Right? It did feel like that. And I could start meeting people more naturally. But now it looks like I'm in for another lonely winter." Oh, no. "I'm a Taurus, Cap rising and Moon. So I'm able to stubbornly settle into this isolation and have an out — and have alchemized it into a period of introspection and self-care. But I can't help but think that I'm missing some huge part of life by not actively working to find community here. What am I missing? Do I need to push myself out of my comfort zone or is it OK to continue being so alone?".
Oh my gosh. I really want to say it's never OK to be so alone, you know, especially as a Taurus with all that Cap. It's like just because you're good at being alone doesn't mean it's good for you to be alone, you know what I mean? But we are in strange times and you're asking what the tarot thinks, not what I think. So first I'm going to shuffle asking what does it look like for you to push yourself out of your comfort zone? I know the Delta variant is very scary and we got to take it seriously. And people are figuring out safe ways, sort of meet up with each other and have some semblance of a life. So what if you are one of those people that looked into safe ways of pushing your social comfort zone? Or what if you ultimately continue being the little alchemy wizard of one in your little cult of one staying at home, doubling down on solo self-care and waiting for more of a green light from life itself before you go out there? So what does it look like for you to just kind of settle into this isolation that you're concerned about? I think it's good you're concerned and you're asking the tarot.
Let's see what the tarot has to say. All right. Reaching out beyond your comfort zone looks really good. Staying in... listen, you can do both. You can do both. A lot of times we come to the tarot with these questions like, should I do this or should I do that? And the tarot is like, why are you so black and white? You can do both, OK? And you should do both. So, like, are you going to be a party animal? No. But are you going to, like, never talk to people? No, that's not good either. So for - for pushing your comfort zone and going out and being among the people, the first card for you is The Devil. Isn't that funny? So to me, this is like — this is a really strong card. It makes me want to say to you, like, "How - how are you allowing the Delta variant to let you just sort of hide?" Right. So the question here is like, what is dangerous or unhealthy isolation and isolating tendencies and what is like self-care, reasonable, healthy decision making? And that's - that's what you need to be figuring out. So, you know, you're the one in your body. You're the one in your mind. You have the wherewithal to recognize that this is even potentially a problem and you're reaching out tome, a stranger on the Internet, which is awesome.
So I think that what you need to do is just really stay alert and honest with yourself, because that Devil card coming up for you know, "should I go out and be social?" It's saying that, like, that part of you just wants to not do it, you want to avoid it. There's something about isolating that you can get really into. But if you do push yourself, look what you got: the Happiness card. On the other side of that Devil is the Nine of Cups, Happiness. It's Jupiter in Pisces, which brings additional gifts. So it's like making friends that introduce you to more friends that introduce you to a life. It's very nice. It's also Kight of Wands, the other card for you. And that's really great. That's like just frickin do it. Don't overthink it, don't hem and haw. You see something that you might be able to go to, go to it. Somebody invites you just say yes, OK, just do it.
Now if you don't — for not doing it, right, for being a hermit, you have the Princess of Wands. She's really great. She's about facing your fears. You have Two of Wands, which is Dominion. Mars in Aries which is about like being really self-focused and like energized and then you have The Hermit. Isn't that hilarious? You have The Hermit for being a hermit. So very on the nose, tarot. But, you know, this doesn't look bad to me, right? This doesn't look bad to me. It looks like there's a time and a place to be a hermit. We are in a period right now of having to spend more time on our own or with our our - our bubble or pod or whatever. So, yes, you'll be doing that. But you can't let that become the Devil. You can't let it kind of turn into this thing that ends up making you feel depressed, so please keep reaching out to strangers on the Internet at the very least, right? But do something. I think you should do something. And then once you're home by yourself, you can really enjoy it because you could be like, "I went to a potluck. Now, I could stay home for five days and not talk to anybody," or like whatever, whatever you like to do.
OK, let me see who we're going to talk to here next. OK, here's this one. Here's a good one, OK? "I met someone back in June and we've been seeing and talking consistently since then. He matches everything I am looking for in a partner, but I was also in a very toxic situation for more than six years. So I'm nervous to get involved with someone again and end up hurt. I guess I'm wondering what the cards say about this man/relationship and if I should continue to pursue it.".
OK, so what does it look like — I'm going to ask right now — what does it look like for our querent to go forward towards this person that seems like a good guy? But, you know, it can be really hard when you have, like, PTSD from a really bad relationship. It's like you can not trust yourself. You know how sometimes people seem really good, but they're also hiding these, like, toxic elements of themselves. It can be really awful. What does it look like, though, if this person bravely charges forward? Because here's the thing with relationships, you have to be vulnerable for them to work. You kind of can't... You can't go into them and also protect yourself. It's just not really possible. So what does it look like if - if our querent bravely marches forward towards love, OK? And now I'm going to compare and contrast. What does it look like if she's like, "nah, I'm not going to do that. I'm going - I'm going to take a step back. I'm going to put on the brakes. I'm not going to get so involved." I don't know what that might look like for her but on some level, taking a step back from this particular person, what does that look like? I like to compare and contrast.
OK, so what does it look like for this person to pursue this relationship? Oh, jeez, listen. Why is it — it's like the tarot is trolling me. OK, it looks like — OK, first off, for going forward - for going forward. It's the Princess of Wands, the Devil and the Princess of Swords. I don't like that. I don't like that combination. For - for not going ahead, it's Cruelty, Gain, and The Universe. You guys, if you're listening to me for the past three weeks, you know, if the Universe card comes up, I'm all - I'm all in on The Universe card. And sometimes The Universe comes up in a spread of cards that looks really weird. You're like, "why would you go in that direction?" The Cruelty card is here. This is what this looks like to me, OK? It looks like — is this person completely toxic, like the person you were with for six years? No, I don't know. Maybe, maybe not. You know, like sometimes we have types and we have to learn the hard way after we pick the same type like 16 times, we're like, "oh, maybe I like people who suffer from undiagnosed depression, et cetera." I mean, not that you do that, not that you do that. I do that or have done that. So maybe it's something like that where because, you know, I see the Princess of Wands and that's you going fearlessly, vulnerably into the relationship in a beautiful manner and then meeting The Devil. So then meeting like your demon, basically like the thing that you have to come to terms with, one of the things that you have to come to terms with in this lifetime, OK?
And then after that is the Princess of Swords. What I like about her is she is like, "oh, hell no." Like the Princess of Swords is destroying the temple. She's not asking to speak to the manager. She's just tearing it down. So I see that, like, if you end up staying with this person, you are going to encounter something about them that is a red flag and instead of sticking it out for six and a half years, you're going to say like, "Goodbye. No, I'm not interested in this." And that is very possibly going to be a very empowering situation for you.
I think that both of these readings might be the same, actually, because then, you know, the reading for you not being with this person, right, is the first card is Cruelty. So to me, that is saying that either this person does something to you that triggers you, that feels bad, right? That causes you to walk away? Or you end it and you're just kind of feeling bad, like, "Did I overreact or did I do the right thing?" You're feeling like you don't trust yourself.
The next card, though, is the Nine of Disks which is Gain, which is like after you settle into that feeling of like, "Oh, I don't know if I did the right thing by overreacting." You feel really solid at yourself. You're like, "No, you know, it's OK to not want to date someone that did X, Y and Z." You know, it's like it's OK to have standards. It's OK to have, like, deal breakers, you know? And if you see that, it's OK to walk away from that. And then you get The Universe, which is just like, oh, my God, you've just kind of like leveled up in the dating world where you're like, "Oh, wow, I actually know more clearly now what my standards are. I know what it feels like to defend my standards and to keep a boundary. I'm not in scarcity. I can walk away from a relationship that's not right for me because I'm not afraid that I'll never meet anyone again.".
So, yeah, I mean, it looks like this person you're with right now isn't the person you're going to be with forever. But it looks like you're going to learn something really profound in the process of being with him and then moving away from him. I'm sorry it's not just like pure romance, though, because believe it or not, I'm just more of a pure romantic and I would just like to - to tell you that you guys are going to get married and then make you invite me to the wedding. That's always what I like to do on here.
OK, I'm going to go to you guys in the audience. I'm just going to put these cards away, see who's here, who is here? Joanna Resinska. Joanna Resinska, are you still here? OK, maybe not. Gonna say goodbye to Joanna and see who else is here. Lanie Hobbs.
Querent: Yes, hello, how are you?
Michelle Tea: Hi Lanie, how are you?
Querent: Hey. Doing well. Thank you so much for doing this. This has been awesome. I've loved coming every Wednesday and now today, Monday.
Michelle Tea: Well, thank you for, you know, for - for accommodating the change in the schedule, I'm so glad you're here.
Querent: Sure. Yes and you answered my question earlier, so thank you so much. I am excited.
Michelle Tea: Oh, good!
Querent: It just gives me, like, I guess, the encouragement I need to just keep going for it because I really love it and being creative. Yeah, it's been pretty awesome. So knowing that it's not like a waste of my time to do it, even though it's something I love...
Michelle Tea: It is not a waste of time and it will — it'll bring you more, more like, you know, material resources the more you do it.
Querent: Yeah, I'm just very happy about that. So that's awesome. But — the last two shows, there have been questions that have popped up that I'm curious about that I've heard. So I wanted to go ahead and ask that to see if I could get your feedback on it.
Michelle Tea: Yeah!
Querent: So a lot of people who are kind of new to tarot and are exploring it for themselves have - are under the impression and I've heard this, too, so I'd love to hear your - your take on it that you shouldn't buy your own tarot cards, that they should always be gifted to you. So what are — what's your feedback?
Michelle Tea: My opinion on that is that gifted tarot decks are always awesome because then you don't have to spend your own money and gifts are awesome and fun. But it's a - it's just - it's just a superstition. There's absolutely no reason why your money can't purchase the tarot deck as opposed to like your bestie's money.
Querent: Right.
Michelle Tea: You know, it's just - there's a lot of superstition around tarot. And what I think about it is if that - if that superstition feels kind of fun and ritualistic to you, then like, I don't know, go with it. Make an arrangement with your friend where you both buy each other, gift each other with a deck of tarot cards that you want.
Querent: Yeah.
Michelle Tea: But if that superstition is getting in the way of you actually being able to explore something you're interested in, then get rid of it. You know?
Querent: Gotcha.
Michelle Tea: It doesn't... It's not - it's not real. You know, like we get to make up a lot of the stuff as we go along. So let's make up superstitions and rituals that are encouraging and increase accessibility.
Querent: Yeah, that's amazing. And also, I know there's some people in the chat who are wondering about conversations and how to start. So when you press start to speak and you select it, sometimes you're put on mute and at the very bottom of your screen, you'll have mute, stop speaking, or sharing. So just make sure you press the mute button to unmute yourself whenever you are selected to come up and then that's it. But yeah. Thank you so much for answering my question.
Michelle Tea: Lanie, thank you. And thanks for letting us all know the ins and outs of Spotify Greenroom. I really appreciate it.
Querent: Yeah, no problem. All right. I'm going to step down, but thanks again for answering and I can't wait.
Michelle Tea: OK, thank you. OK, I'm going to look because I think — let me see. Do we have you have — Joanna is back. Let's talk to Joanna. Are you here?
Querent: I am. Is it working though?
Michelle Tea: Yes, it's working.
Querent: Oh my god!
Michelle Tea: Great, great, great.
Querent: Hello. I hope you feel better soon. I know what it's like.
Michelle Tea: Oh, thank you. It's so annoying.
Querent: It's totally annoying. My question of the tarot has more to do with something, another touchstone, which is this idea of actually buying property, which is fraud. And I'd like to ask the tarot if it thinks that perhaps I should make the investment and stop renting and actually just buy a place in the town I've been renting in or makes a leap and purchase or just wait till my daughter graduates high school, is eighteen, and then choose where I want to live.
Michelle Tea: OK, OK.
Querent: If that makes sense.
Michelle Tea: It does make sense. So if you buy something now, you're basically locking yourself into where you are living right now because of your daughter.
Querent: Quite right.
Michelle Tea: OK, so what does it look like for you to do that though? For you to just be like, "hey, this, you know, this is home, I'm going to invest. I just — I'm picking three cards for that right now.
Querent: Thank you.
Michelle Tea: And I'm going to shuffle and ask, what does it look like for you to just hold off until your daughter flies the coop and then you can look out into the larger world and maybe see that, you know, the place that you want to put down some roots and lock it down with a purchase is actually someplace very different than where you are. Let's see what that looks like. Okay, picking two cards on that.
You know, you could definitely... It looks more fun for you to wait and go someplace else. It really does. It looks more fun. If you do it where you are now, you could find a place that you like. And I think you could actually be quite happy, like you would come around to being quite happy there. But you would also be a little haunted by like — that you didn't try hard enough to have a larger life, almost. You know, the three cards that came up for that is The Hermit, which is like, you know, he's a property owner, that's for sure. But he lives in a little cave.
Querent: [laughs] Which is what I'm doing now. Go on, please.
Michelle Tea: And then you have the Indolence card, which is Saturn in Pisces and Pisces doesn't want to own a home, Pisces doesn't want to own anything. It wants to travel and have fun and - and Saturn is like, "too bad we're nailing you down to this commitment that you don't want. Sorry." But then your final card is The Emperor. So in this story, I see you really coming around to the - to being where you are, but it looks like it's an uncomfortable trip.
Now, conversely, if you - if you wait, you have the Knight of Cups, the Knight of Disks, and Love. And this is just like a prettier story for me. Nine of Cups is like he is like making an offering of love to himself. He's - he's leaping into the sky. He's got angel wings. He's offering like this chalice to the sky. It's a very romantic card. And then there's the Knight of Disks and he has all four feet on the ground and he's not moving. He is the one knight that's not going anywhere. So he's - he's grounding and ruining himself and being creative by staying in one place.
So that's kind of like ding, ding, ding. That's sort of like a home, buying land card for me. And then you have Love, Two of Cups. It's Venus in Cancer, which is like family. It's like the sort of romantic idea of home and it's also a Cancer — the Knight of Cups is also Cancer. So that just looks like a — even though The Emperor is a major arcana and I usually do sort of give it up to the major arcana. This is just such a nice story of like the Knight of Cups going out into the world, going like, "where is my, like, forever home?" Finding it with the Knight of Disks, settling down into this moment of love with the Two of Cups. Like, that's just a very nice story for me.
Querent: I like that too, thank you so much.
Michelle Tea: Oh, you're so welcome. You're welcome.
Querent: Take care.
Michelle Tea: You take care too, Bye-bye. OK, I'm going to go back over here and see who we can look at. OK, yeah, this person has a question: "I wanted to ask the tarot if I'm on the right track with my health journey. It's been a bit discouraging. So I'm not sure if I should try something different or if I should just keep on. Will I have the success I'm looking for? If so, when?"
Now, here's something that I want to say. We haven't had a lot of health questions come up. And I actually will not answer health questions with the tarot because guess what? I'm not a doctor and I want everybody to believe in science and in tarot. And you know, know when you should ask the tarot and when you should ask the doctor. So I'm going to say, if you're discouraged, go get a second opinion. Go see more people who can help you with that than I can as a stranger reading tarot on the Internet. I am, however, going to pick three cards for you to help you while you're dealing with this health crisis, which sounds really frustrating, somewhat slow going, which is a bummer. I'm using the Vessel deck, the Oracle deck that I like to pull up whenever somebody is stuck in a situation that they can't really opt-out of. Like we can't really opt out of our bodies. I would love to opt-out of my body right now but, you know, we're all stuck with our bodies. So what is available to this querent energetically while they figure out their health needs?
OK, wow, this is really interesting. OK, the three cards that came up, the first one is Grieve, which is really heavy, right? It's a red star that's crying and it's crying in a rain storm above an ocean. So it's not just a red star, you guys. It's a anthropomorphical crying red star above an ocean. So Grieve like, all right. You know, even - even if you figure out what's going on and you end up with the best treatment and you sort it all out and you're fine, you've still lost a certain period of time dealing with this. And you - you've had to sacrifice a peace of mind, right? While you're worrying about your health and all this other stuff, it's OK to grieve your lost health in this moment or whatever it is that you feel like you've lost or this being taken away from you. That looks like it's really real. And if it's coming up in a tarot reading, it means it needs some space. So I don't know if you want to give yourself a little ritual around that. If it just means you're going to, like, take a night by yourself and drink a cup of tea and cry or journal or whatever it is. But looks like the part of yourself that feels really hurt, that you have had to deal with this, it needs a little attention.
The next card is trust. It's this person who has really long hair. Their eyes are closed and there's these like wavy, pretty arms holding hearts that are around their face. So I think that's really nice. I think you can trust that, like, you keep doing the next right thing. You're you're seeking help. You're going to the kind of people that can help somebody who are having the problems that you're having, trust these people to have your best interests at heart.
And then this is really interesting. Your final card is Childhood. OK? It's this really interesting card. It's two hands holding a little egg over a bunch of tacks. This is a wild deck, you guys, but it's really good. When the childhood card comes up, there's usually some aspect of the present situation that is holding onto an echo from childhood. So I don't know if this is if you're dealing with a health problem that's been chronic since childhood. I don't know if it's making you feel like you're a child, like you have to... you don't have as much agency as you should have as an adult because of your health problems. You have to trust authority figures which children are constantly having to do. There's something about it, though, that is reminding you of childhood. And my guess is it's in a way that doesn't feel excellent. So, again, with that card coming up, really give yourself some space to just like recognize that. And recognize that that's really hard, you know?
Lemme see, I want to see — I saw there was a question from Max in the chat. How do you work with court cards in the Thoth deck as compared to other decks, especially the Knight and the Prince? OK, so that question — the reason that that question is a question is because Aleister Crowley, who created this deck, he made some changes with a lot of the deck, actually, and so he you know, he made the court cards a little different. There's not like a jack or page or whatever and my way of dealing — I have a lot of different tarot decks. And the way that I deal with them is just in accordance with the intention of whoever created the deck, right? So when I — when I pull up like a Knight or a Prince card, I'm not thinking... in the Thoth deck. I'm not thinking like, "oh, in the Rider-Waite deck, this would be something totally different." I'm just not even thinking of that. I'm just thinking of the meanings as they are according to this deck. Otherwise, it gets too complicated. And I really — the fun thing about trying out different decks is playing with different people's interpretations of the tarot. I really love doing that. So, I mean, and also the court cards are enough of a pain in the ass. I don't want to make them harder. I'm always like, who are you? Are you a person? Are you the querent? Are you a vibe? What are you.
OK, I'm going to go back and see if there's somebody who wants to ask a question. Sophie Lavender. Sophie Lavender, are you here? Oh, it doesn't look like she is here actually. OK, Patsy Lynn, I think you're here. Patsy Lynn. Hello.
Querent: Oh my gosh.
Michelle Tea: Hello, Patsy Lynn, you're on.
Querent: Yes, thank you so much. And I'm so sorry you're feeling sick, so I have two — I hope you feel better soon.
Michelle Tea: Thank you.
Querent: I have two sort of questions. One has related - is related to fertility treatments. And I was wondering about that was just — this is sort of like a side note — I'd love to hear about how you coped with your fertility journey while reading tarot at the same time. I don't know if you did or didn't, but I guess.. So my question with the fertility treatment is, did it work this time? And then I have another question just regarding my - my recent job prospects. I had a... I just found out today that I didn't get this job that I was hoping for. And I'm wondering if I should keep going in the direction that I've been going with the types of jobs that I've been applying to.
Michelle Tea: OK, all right. So your three-part question here... First is, how did I live my life trying to get pregnant as a person who reads the tarot?
Querent: Yes.
Michelle Tea: I never picked cards on my situ— well, you know something. I picked - I did - I did a pretty major tarot reading when I was right at the precipice. I was single. I had no partner, I had no health insurance. I had this crazy feeling that I should probably start trying to get pregnant. And I pulled cards on it and I got really beautiful cards. I got like The High Priestess and The Universe. And so I knew that it was something I was supposed to pursue. I knew that it was my destiny. But then I stopped. I didn't pull cards on it because, I mean, you know, while trying to get pregnant is a very fraught, on the edge of your seat experience, you know, at that point, I'd been reading tarot cards for decades already. And I've already had lots of other times in my life where I wanted the tarot to tell me everything was going to be OK, you know? I think - I had gone through a really horrible breakup and I realized I was pulling cards maniacally, just wanting the tarot to tell me that I was going to feel better and the tarot was not telling me that the tarot just kept giving me the fucking Hermit card, you know, like breaking my heart. And so I realized I needed to change my relationship with the tarot. It's not there to tell you that everything's going to be OK. It doesn't want you to obsessively use it, like you need to have some discipline and discretion with it. So I think at that point, I'd already understood that I would just kick myself into, like, down the rabbit hole if I started doing that. So I just didn't do it. So...
Querent: Can I - can I retract my question then? Because I think that's exactly what I've been doing, is just not healthy tarot card pulling.
Michelle Tea: Yeah.
Querent: You know, just trying to do like, yeah. I think the career deals much more. I'm nowhere near have been picking cards other than just with the fertility stuff.
Michelle Tea: I really think that when it's something I mean, I think that when you're - when you're doing something that's so major, like trying to get pregnant, it sometimes it's like, you know, sometimes people ask me, like, "I'm trying to - I want to try and have a baby when you tell me what that looks like? And I will just have to stop them and say, like, you know, it's one thing if you're like on the edge and you're like, should I or should I not? Like, I get that I can maybe be helpful. But if you're, like, already invested, I don't want to pull a bunch of shitty cards and bum you out, you know what I mean? It's like, how is that going to help you? Like, we don't even know if we're interpreting them in the right way.
Querent: Right.
Michelle Tea: So it's a little tricky. I mean, sometimes I'll do it, but a lot of times I really have to talk to the person first and see, like, where are they coming from? You know?
Querent: It's interesting because like one of the tries I got, I kept on getting all of these cards that were just like, "yes, it's going to work. Yes, it's going to work." And I ended up getting pregnant, but then I ended up miscarrying. But then it was just interesting because I was like, "oh, why did I do that to myself? So I think that this — just even you sharing this information is really helpful — because I feel like moving - because I'm not in the seat of whether or not to do it. It's like fully, fully onboard, fully excited to do it. So.
Michelle Tea: Yeah.
Querent: But yeah, I did hear some pretty bad career stuff today, so if that's possible.
Michelle Tea: So what's interesting about career? I'm sorry that you had like a harsh - a harsh career experience today. Are you wondering, like, do I leave this industry or like, what's the question?
Querent: Yeah, well, I have so I'm waiting to hear back from one position. But it is a different kind of like type of job that I have been applying to recently, which is more about diversity and sort of anti-racism focused work. And I just am wondering if I should continue down that.
Michelle Tea: OK, cool. So what would it look like for you to continue down this new path, which sounds really great and necessary. Doing antiracist, anti-racism, and diversity work? What does that look like for you? OK, and going to remember the tarot's also always about timing. So it's like what does it look like for you right now?
It looks really good for you right now. It actually looks really, really nice. It looks like it might be a little slow going again. The Knight of Disks has all four hoofs of his horse on the ground, he's not moving, so this isn't like, "Yeah, you're going to find this job tomorrow, but the next cards that you have after him is Love. And then the Princess of Cups. So it's like this path is going to open up for you. Just stay diligent. Try not to stress out about it. The Knight of Disks is like even though his horse isn't running into the future like the other horses in the other suits are, he has — he's holding a shield and the sunlight is reflecting off of it and it's turning the hillside green. So it is a creative card. It is about like things happening, things growing. So it's like this is — I would say that there's like an opportunity that sort of like just waiting for you and you just keep walking towards it and doing everything that you can do to put that energy out there, that this is the field you want to work in. It looks like it's going to be very great for you. I mean, that's Venus in Cancer. And then the Princess of Cups is another water card. So it looks - it looks like really, really fulfilling.
Querent: Yay, thank you so much, Michelle.
Michelle Tea: OK, thank you. Bye-bye. You guys it's 6:01 and sometimes I like to go a little bit over, but not when I sound like a bridge troll. So I'm going to end now. I'm so sorry for the folks whose questions I did not get to. I will try again next week. Thank you for trusting me with your problems. I love trying to help you guys out. I do want to let you know that Deuxmoi is going live right after me. You should follow Deuxmoi. I'm speaking French, you guys. D-E-U-X-M-O-I. And join their room. They're going to have the psychic medium, Karen Reese. So if I didn't answer your questions with the tarot, maybe Karen can answer them from the great beyond. Have a great rest of your evening and I'll see you here next week back in our normal Wednesday time. And thanks for listening.