Ask the Tarot: I Was a Diversity Hire — Should I Quit?

This is a recording of our live Greenroom show from December 9, 2021. Follow @askthetarot on the Spotify Greenroom app to catch Michelle Tea live every Thursday at 6pm PT/ 9pm ET.

This transcript is AI-generated and may not be 100% perfect.

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Michelle Tea: Hey, everyone, thank you so much for tuning in. But did you know that you can join Ask the Tarot Live every Thursday at 9pm Eastern on Spotify Green Room. That is right — live. All you have to do is download the Spotify Greenroom app and sign up for free or use your Spotify login to join. You can also click the link in our series or episode descriptions. Once you're there, follow Ask the Tarot and tune in every Wednesday at 8pm to hear what the tarot has to say. Hey, I'll even read your questions live. You don't want to miss that. Download Spotify Greenroom for free today and join Ask the Tarot Live every Thursday. 

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Michelle Tea: Thank you. So to ask the Tarot. I'm Michelle Tea. I am your host and the host of the podcast Your Magic, which enjoy if you join. I want to let you guys know that I'm doing a series of tarot workshops through your Magic's Patreon, so if you sign on at the $30 support level, I'm doing a monthly live tarot like on Zoom thing, and we're just like slowly going through the entire tarot. It's going to take us 78 weeks. It's going to be amazing. I'm doing it tomorrow at 7:00 Pacific time and we're going to do this. The full deep dove into the fall right now. I'm really, really excited about it. So check that out if you're interested. And also, thanks for being here. I'm going to read tarot cards. I people have sent me their problems on the internet through Instagram. If you want to, you know, write me a little note, I will definitely keep you anonymous. You can also just hand right here. You can raise your hand here and I'll pick you. OK. Those are the two ways it works, sir. I got. Hold on a second, we pick up this discussion. 

Hmm. It's so strange that the discussion is so quiet, you guys. Hold on. I am going to very quickly. Invite everybody. OK, there we go. I just want to know you were out there. Thanks, you guys. Thanks. Hello, hello. Something very funny to share before I start picking cards, and that is I'm recovering from a kidney stone procedure where they shot like, let the shot lasers into my body, you guys, to break up the kidney stone. But guess what? Kidney stones are there crystals? Can you believe I'm so mystical that my body is actually creating crystals? That's how I'm interpreting it. OK? I am. Yeah, that's how I'm doing it. But I'm doing. I'm doing very well. I feel like a little bit more. Thank you. Crystals, I'm a little space higher than normal for an Aquarius is never a good thing, but mostly OK. All right. So I got just like a basic tarot question here, which I also love getting just so you guys now says I just got a brand new oracle jack. My first one. Congratulations. Now I know this is a basic question, but is there a right or wrong way to shuffle the deck? No, you guys, there is no right or wrong way to shuffle the deck. You can shuffle them however you want until you get a sense that the deck is, you know, shuffled its combined. You know, I have my own personally neurotic ways where I have to do three three shuffles of three. It's like it's very OCD or it is very witchy. I don't know, pick, you can pick one. It's probably a little of both, but but you know, you can do it any kind of way. I like to shuffle them like, I'm like a poker dealer in Vegas when you flip the decks together. I love doing that with my tarot. So, you know, just just get all you know, I have a deck of cards that's called the The Daughters of the Moon Tarot. It's it's really groovy, like lesbian feminist Jack where everyone's naked and they're around. There are these big round purple cards and they're very hard to shuffle. And I've read them, read them with people before who've been so like, Oh my God, they're just like swishing them all over a table are all over the floor because they're so impossible to shuffle and it's fine. They're just cardboard. It's all about our energy. OK? Also, my girlfriend just bought a brand new tarot deck, and while she was shuffling, one of the cards split at the top corner. What should we do to bring them back to the store? That's what I think. Is it bad luck? Now is our bad luck, but it would bug me. You know why? Because I would worry that that card. I'd worry that that split card would somehow always become like, become more prominent somehow, or it would keep splitting more in the shuffling. It just would bug me a little bit, you know? She literally just bought the deck and we haven't used it yet. I think you can return it and say, May I please have a tarot anon twin tarot deck? I think that's totally fine. OK, so let me get one of you guys here. You raised your little hand and that's how I call on you. Jenny, is Jenny there? Jenny, we both have to unmute ourselves, possibly compulsively. Jenny, Jenny, I know any minute, any minute I'm shuffling in advance, Jenny, I know you're going to unmute yourself or whatever weird thing you're dealing with is going to become resolved. Is it going to happen? OK, Jenny, pull up to refresh and oh, thank you. 

Querent: OK, sorry, I got it. OK. Can you hear me? 

Michelle Tea: I can hear you. Great, great. 

Querent: So six years ago I had an injury, and I have been a couple of years without any symptoms at all of this knee pain. This curious knee locking actually of my joint being locked in and bent. Oh, I'm sorry. I've had doctors give me three options to get a full knee replacement, which has a very predictable outcome to scope my knee, which is somewhat unpredictable. And then the third option is like this gentle therapeutic stuff I've been doing for the last six years. Hopeful like yoga and acupuncture with hopes of getting back to symptom free place. So I was wondering if the Tarot could weigh these three options for me because I've been pretty bad at deciding what to do. 

Michelle Tea: Yes. I mean, gosh, that seems like such a hard decision to make. It would turn to the tarot. Generally, I get a little squeamish around reading cards for health things, but a lot of health questions are like This weird thing is happening. What should I do? And I'm like, Go to the doctor. Not a terror leader, but you're you are already taking care of yourself and just are looking at different pathways. So let me see. First, I'm going to shuffle on what does it look like for you to do the knee replacement since I'm just going in the order that you talked about them. So the new placement and I'm working with the top deck and taking three cards to get a little story. The scope, scope it out. Let's see what that looks like for you. 

OK, now give us one more shuffle. I can't do my neurotics like three three times three shuffles on the show, though it takes too long, so it's making me be a better shuffler. OK, and so now your final one, which is just keep doing what you're doing, which is, you know, these gentler paths sometimes take a little longer, but can be so good. So, OK, I'm going to pick those three for you. So let's see. So the three cards that came up for the knee replacement? First one is three of discs works right work Mars and Capricorn. The Lovers and the five of Swords defeat. So, OK, that's kind of like that. That ends on defeat. Obviously, the lovers card is just about like, you know, the lovers card is really about having to make big decisions, you know? So and then the work card. I liked the work card, actually. At first, I'm like, Yeah, you're going to get to work on that knee, but I don't like it necessarily as a whole, as a whole. Little pack of it as a story. I don't like it. OK, let's see what the scope has three of 1's virtue nine of cups, happiness and adjustment that looks good. That is very good virtue. You know the three of Wands card, especially in the top deck, you know, the way that it's represented in the top deck in the way that Crowley wrote about it, it just feels like it's a perfect card. It's a perfect yes, it's about total harmony. It's about all of your energy being directed in the perfect direction. So, you know, I look at it almost the way I look at the universe card with this deck, which is like, it's a great big yes, it's like a mini universe card. And then the nine of cups is wonderful. It's happiness. It's Jupiter in Pisces. Like, we love that. That's like relaxing. It's chill. Jupiter brings gifts and then adjustment like, OK, you know, it's like, it seems like a little bit. This is like the middle path in a way which I think the adjustment card really represents about trying to get that middle path, trying not to go too far in either direction and find that harmony. It's a Libra card, so it is about finding harmony and having to adjust, you know, no doubt to like whatever whatever your situation is now as far as sticking with what you're already doing. Ace of Cups The eight of swords, which is called Interference and the tower. OK. I don't like that either. I like that even worse. Wait, is that a real sentence? I don't like it. I like it less even than than the first one for the for the for the the surgery. Yeah, I think you really need to take care of this, and it makes sense that you don't want to jump into the surgery, but it seems like the cards for you, for the scope are beautiful. What do you think about it? 

Querent: It's weirdly affirming what I was already inclined to do, which is then the middle path, right? Like, yeah, in a way. 

Michelle Tea: And it's like the middle path is like about the middle path. It's like you got the middle path card for like the bridge. So yeah, it looks. It looks really nice. I really like. 

Querent: Thank you so much. 

Michelle Tea: It does look like just leaving it to yoga. It's just going to with the tower card. I see. That is just like a worsening, you know, it's like, it's not. It's actually not. It's not helping. It's not giving it. The help it needs is what I can say. 

Querent: Thank you. So all right. 

Michelle Tea: Luck to you and good healing and everything. All right. OK, so I'm going to go and check out some of these questions that came in. Know I still get all these friend questions, you know, I was on the French trip last week. These French break ups, you guys, they can be very intense and very emotional. So, you know, this is a very simple question that ended up provoking a really detailed, intense reading. For this reading. I used Christy C. Rhodes, the next world taro, which is like kind of a mash up a little bit of the top deck, a little bit of the Rider-Waite and a whole lot of Christie wrote. If you know her art, it's very pocket's, very apocalyptic. It's it's there's awesome representation in that. It's a great, beautiful text. So OK, here's the question my childhood friend and I haven't spoken in months. I made peace with this time of silence and growing apart, as I am not surprised about the separation, emotional and physical. I think it is necessary for both of our personal growth. I would like to see where the fate of this friendship is going and what is my friend's perspective of us together and separately. Will we be aligned better and reconciled soon, eventually or never? So I was like, Wow, there's so many questions in this and especially, you know, asking for another person's perspective on things. So I did. I ended up like the spread, kept growing and growing. And I want to let you guys all know like, this is something you can do in your own tarot practice. Like you can create your own spread really organically. Like if you sit down and think about a question and all the different components of your question, you can pick cards for for all those different angles and all those different things. So. So that's what I did here. At first, I just picked three cards for like, what is this? What is this about this separation? What does it look like? The first card I got is the star. So OK, it's good. It's good. This is like this idea that this person is saying that, you know, it's necessary for their personal growth. Yes, the star absolutely affirms that the star wants us to kind of like, aim for the stars for our best life, make wishes. So then the next card I got is the four of Pentacles, though, which is called Arsenal. And this is this is like a like a light and shadow card. OK, especially and a reading like this. The four Pentacles is Capricorn, and it's really about it's like a little fortress. It's making a little fortress around you. And on the one hand, it seems like this is what's necessary, right? That like these two people are taking, these childhood friends are taking the space, but there's something sort of more sad about that. It's like an arsenal and a fortress, like they're really walling each other off to each to each other. So there is a sense of light. On the one hand, it's really beautiful with the star. But then there's also this edge to it, and then there's the ten of cups at the very end. Shedding light on it, the ten of cups in Christie Rhodes interpretation. It's about emotional safety in the car. It's actually called safety. So I'm like, OK, you know, yeah, this for the personal growth. And if it must feel like this is kind of extreme, I need to really like wall myself off from you for my emotional safety. So what I did next was I wanted to, you know, the clarinet as we call people asking the terrible question, You are all cl. I am sometimes a coherent. Hi Jasmine, I see you popping up there. So she wants to see, you know, what does her friend's perspective? And I was wondering, Well, what's her perspective too? So first, I picked a card for you, the clarinet. What is what? What is your energy in this situation? What's your energy towards yourself and what's your energy towards your childhood friend? Well, the energy towards yourself is the death card, OK? So I am getting a real sense that you are the one who is really spearheading this separation right now and that, you know, I can even see it in the reading. You know, I'm not surprised I made peace with it. I think it's necessary. So you're really allowing this sort of process to happen. The transformation, you know, the ending, if not of the friendship forever, then at least of this iteration of the friendship and you're really strong in that. And then you see your friend as the ace of cups, which is this all this emotional potential, all this emotional possibility? You might see this person as a really emotional person that might be and that might be like a negative for you. Maybe you're seeing them as somebody who is unemotional or too emotional. There's some sort of upset with the emotions or you are just hoping that they're like, happy in their emotions, you know, and growing. The illustration for this is like a water lily coming out and it says the roots of water. So it's it is a beautiful card, but it makes me ask those questions about how you see your friend in the state. In this situation, your friend sees themself as the strength card. OK, so that is really interesting. It's making me think that your friend that this might be a little hard on your friend, maybe a little harder than it is for you. I'm seeing you standing sort of tall in the death card and just in your acceptance, and it might be a bit more of a struggle. You know, they might be flexing a little to have to maybe not reach out or share something with you with the strength card. It is, however, you know it's the sign the strength card is ruled by the Sun. It's Leah. I do think that your friend also does see the positive in this, but they just have a different perspective because drum roll, please you guys, your friend sees you as the devil. That's the card that came up. You're the devil. And you know, we are often the devil in the tarot when we are doing something that someone else doesn't like. You know, when we're having to do something that's unpopular for ourselves, you know, to take space, to set a boundary. I mean, these are classic times when we get the devil card because somebody else is like, Huh? So, you know, that's a little like, I was like, Oh, wow. So, you know, I think your friend is resentful, is my guess. My God, sometimes I'm reading cards and I'm like, Wow, I'm just like, I'm just telling you what your life is. I hope I'm right. What a big what a big job. So, you know, as you can imagine, you guys, after I pulled the double card, I'm like, I need more information. I can't I can't live off on that. This is like, so intense. So I did pick thinking, OK, there seems like there's so much that needs to be resolved here, and you're like, Will we be aligned better? Will we reconcile? So I picked cards on like, what does it look like for you guys to talk? You know what? What will happen if you guys talk and you guys got really you got like three major arcana, which again, just really like verify for me that this is a very intense friendship and an intense connection. The first card you get that was revolution, and it's Kristy Rhodes. Take on the tower card, OK? It's just about everything, just sort of exploding. There's a revolution, and in a sense, that's what you guys. That's what's happening within your friendship, right? There's like a revolution happening. The old way wasn't working. So something really drastic had to happen. The next is the messenger, which I believe is is Christie's take on the hermit, which is really interesting, and it's about having to share a message and that kind of being hard sometimes. The illustration is of like a like a politician having to speak at a rally, and you don't really understand what's going on. You're like to the people at the rally. Hate her? Or is she cool? I can't tell. But you know, the the card that it is representing, you know that hermit energy, that Virgo Energy, you know, it's often it is often about having to like, speak your truth. And that's not often that's not often very awesome for for the person who's hearing it. So I can see I can see like the kind of clashing of the truths here a little bit. Your final card is the chariot, which is a great car. It's a beautiful car, but it's also the chariot of war. It looks really rough. And again, you know, I say this all the time. Terror readings are always about the moment, so this only might mean that right now it's too hot. It just might be a little too hot to touch right now. It might just end up being a fight, you know, and like my vision against your vision. Now, if you stay away from it and just leave it be for now again, for now. You get the nine of cups, which is happiness. OK, so it's like, Oh, all right, you get the two of swords, swords, which is protection. And again, we're going back to this theme that keeps coming up, where there's a sense from one or from both of you that you need to protect your energy from each other. So you got that and then you got the five of swords, which in this deck is called survival. So it really seems like now is not the time, you know, you guys seem like a couple of people with powerful energy, the both of you having some powerful energy. And it makes sense that as you grow and shift in your power and become the people that you're becoming, that you might need to step away from each other. I do hope that at some point you guys get to reconcile because I don't. I feel sad for your friends seeing you as the devil, I feel. So that makes me feel sad for both of you. But it seems like if you try to, you know, get all up in that right now, it just might be a lot of like, You're the devil. I'm not the devil. Yes, you are the devil. So maybe let it chill. Let it cool off a little bit. OK, good luck to you and whoever you are. I love getting these messages. OK, now what can I do for one of you guys? Let me open up. My little request is. Shall year here. 

Querent: I am. 

Michelle Tea: Hello. 

Querent: Hi. Sorry, my heart's beating really fast. So this is probably one of those kind of like boring Grown-Up questions, but I think. 

Michelle Tea: I love that they don't all need to be childhood break ups, you know? 

Querent: So my family and I like we were living in Philadelphia right now and we've been here for several years, and my partner and I are both definitely feeling pretty done with the city for lots of reasons. But we we sort of had this opportunity come up recently where we actually put in an offer on a house in a town in Virginia that we have been thinking about moving and moving to me. Our offer wasn't accepted initially, but there's still like this small chance that we might still get this house. But I feel like maybe I'm like clinging to like false hope. So I was wondering if you could pull the cards on, just like what that looks like. 

Michelle Tea: OK. Yeah. And what this house, what it's going to look like for this house in Virginia? 

Querent: Yeah, see. Okay. 

Michelle Tea: Do you also want me to pull for staying in Philadelphia or are you just know you're done with Philadelphia? 

Querent: I mean, we actually we we have to stay like we have some things that we have to wrap up. Like, I have a kid who's in school here and we definitely like, don't remove her while she's finishing up school. So we're going to be here for a little while. But like this just felt like such a perfect opportunity. It was like there's just like gorgeous old house that had some like rental potential and, you know, space for us and space for my husband's cousin who like, does like a lot of international aid work and so like kind of float around a lot, but we'd like to have sort of a home base with us. So it just felt like all of this, like coming together in a really perfect way. And then we sort of lose. It was pretty upsetting, but there's just like this little chance that we can still be accepted. But anyway. 

Michelle Tea: I mean, it's so funny, it's like you got is like exactly that, like it looks real bad and then you get the ace of discs at the very end. So it looks like, I mean, there's I want to say that because, you know, it's not the hero's job to reiterate what you're telling me. So I don't I really don't want to read it like that. I mean, I want to read it like, that's it's better news for you. And I like to give good news. But but you know, it's looking like this. The very first part is the seven of swords, which is called futility. And that's, you know, and it's just like, it's just about like the dream not coming true. That's really what it's about. And then the card after that is the nine of swords, which is cruel, which is cruelty, which I've sort of renamed anxiety. I think it's much more about anxiety than it is cruelty. But regardless, they're both bombers. They're both about things aren't happening. But then at the end of it is the ace of discs, which I would read, is it like I don't know if that this kind of just as having to go through this process, even though there's like some heartbreak in it and disappointment has stimulated, like, yes, we know we want to do this like, OK, not this one, but maybe, you know, is there another one, you know, like it out there? I would say that there is, you know, I think that you will find the house that you want and you will be on this path to leave Philadelphia because the ace of discs in the disks, rural housing and things like that and an ace is the start of a new cycle in that realm. So, you know, I think that like this was just maybe to get you really certain that that's what you wanted, you know, and now that you can feel what it feels like to have the hopes dashed, you're like, OK, let's really make this happen that, you know, it's like, maybe not this one, but there's another one out there for you. 

Querent: Yeah, that makes a lot of sense, actually. Do you mind if I ask? There is actually this other property that just keeps popping up on my radar, but it's like, Oh. So it was used to be an A.M.E. church and somebody like, converted it into this house and it's like, it's pretty cool. But it also like, feels like a lot, you know what I mean? Like, it feels like maybe it's not like like sort of out of our reach or whatever. It's like, Yeah, but it just like keeps coming up on my radar like an. 

Michelle Tea: Amazing concert clearings to help you with any energy problems with that, right? Yeah. No, I think it's a no, no, it's the night of it's like I feel like I feel like it wants you, but that you want it, you know, you get the knight of cups and something that you like. It keeps coming up because the night of cups is like making this offering. You know, it's like flying up with these beautiful angel wings on his horse, and he's holding up a company's like, Pick me, I love you. But the one is the prince of Cups, and he's being like, But I don't know that I love you, dude. You know, it's like looking really weird, taking a look at it, and he's like, Oh, I can't, I can't make a decision about this. And then the final part is the ten of swords, the classic kind of swords and oh, no part of the. So, yeah, so whatever, whatever that little inkling you have of it, maybe being a little weird, I think you're probably right. OK. That makes total sense, yeah. But, you know, you know, there's another church out there for you, I'm sure. 

Querent: Awesome. Well, thank you so much. You're welcome. Good luck to you and your family. Thank you. 

Michelle Tea: Oh gosh, you guys. The shot. My childhood church has been converted into condos like the church that was attached to the Catholic school, where I was tortured by nuns. I'm kidding I wasn't tortured. They were mostly fine, except for when they weren't. But God, it's so tempting just to. I don't know, like it would be so sick. And yet it would make me feel like I won if I ended up living in the church, that's not going to happen. OK, let's see. I got another. I got another question here. I love this question. You guys, this is this is a good one. OK. Basically, I have this new friend that I used to work with in a restaurant, and we have agreed that we want to live together when both of our leases are up. In general, I think we would work well as roommates, but I worry because she will be twenty two when we move in together and I will be twenty six. The age difference is enough that maybe our lifestyles will differ. She's a partier. I am not. I also recently found out that she has spilled some pretty serious confidential information about me to some coworkers. It wasn't malicious, but it makes me hard. It makes it hard to trust her with my personal life. Is moving in with her a bad idea? Or will it all be OK and we will be able to coexist in the same space? Thanks so much. Oh my god, is this the nicest person in the whole world? Clarence, you were like the nicest person in the whole world. You're like, Oh my God, she's 22 and she parties. And she, you know, spilled my tea to my coworkers. But surely she'll be a great roommate? I don't know. Oh, my gosh, OK, I mean, I want to tell you to run for the hills and kind of I think the tarot kind of wants to tell you that too. Excuse me while I take a sip of water. OK, so I am for this for this question, I went to another tarot deck, it's like the opposite of the Christie Road next world tarot. It's literally the medieval tarot from medieval Europe. OK, so it's this really kind of, I don't know. I think it's kind of cute and funny. So and lots of really kind of creepy spooky look like the cops are like floating in the ether and stuff. And all the medieval people staring at each other with their kind of conical heads are interesting. But anyway, so I picked three cards for what does it look like if you move in with this person? So first card. Two of cups. OK, great. That's like a loving partnership. I like this. But then I realized that I think that two of cups energy is all you quiet because the next thing that comes up is the five of cups, and that is disappointment. Right? That's like bad emotional vibes. OK. And then next is the seven of cups and you know, the seven of cups in the Rider-Waite. That's the one with all the cups floating with like different fantasies and them and somebody standing there going, Oh, what emotional fantasy do I want to drag myself with next? You know, that's kind of what that card is. I just feel like you're being too nice, you know, and I want you to stay really nice, but I want you to, like, be in positions that encourage your niceness and not that will make you resentful and bitter. And this one will. I just think that you're going into it with great vibes and so is this other person. But it's not going to work and it's like, you're going to have to almost be in denial about it, you know, are just like making up stories about it. But here's the kicker. Here's the kicker to not move in with her is to kill the friendship because the cards are not moving in with her are the 10 of swords that you know. There you go. Then the seven of swords and that's like, you know, the 10 of swords is bad. But in a lot of decks, the seven of swords is also really bad. It's like shit, talky, backstabbing, weird stuff. And then the hermit. You're alone, OK, so it's like, you know, you don't want to be emotionally blackmailed by this person to move. It's like, that's what I'm seeing here. I'm like, move into this kind of subpar situation or else face the swords, but I just feel like. I don't know if that's really what goes down. You know, if you decide that it's actually you actually don't want to live together, if it makes this person turn on you and lash out. Well, you got your answer, right? You really got your answer. And it's fine to be the hermit. It's better to be alone than with, you know, somebody who's lashing out at you. So I think that hermit is you just finding a cute little apartment all by yourself? Maybe if that's if that's a dream that you have. I'm sorry, those cards aren't better. They're really not in this jack in this medieval deck. It's just lots of lots of sad, stabbed people. OK, moving on. Hate delivering bad news. You guys OK? Who's next? Who's up next? Angel. Hello, Angel. You are still muted, but maybe you can unmute or pull down and refresh that might do the trick. Okay, I'm going to give it. You don't know how just going to pull your screen down, like swipe your screen down or you don't know how to mute. And there should be also a mute button, right? Like on your screen. That looks like a little. You know, look, the little microphone icon, you can touch it, and hopefully it will unmute you if you're struggling with that, just kind of swipe down and it refreshes. I'll give you a minute to do that. See if that works for you. Oh, there you are. 

Querent: Is that? Can you hear me? 

Michelle Tea: Yes, I can. Hello. 

Querent: Oh, hello. So, OK. So first of all, I just kind of stumbled upon this, and I'm super new to it, so I'm just going to wing it. Well, OK, great. But right now, the biggest two concerns that I'm dealing with are, well, my my biggest one. Let's go with that. There's a guy that I've been completely in love with for the last few years, and I can see that he's definitely trying, but I feel like there's been some type of commitment issue. So I guess I just kind of want a little bit more insight into that and maybe kind of what's going on or what to expect. 

Michelle Tea: OK, let's look. Let's see what the energy looks like between you guys. OK. Just given a final shuffle, right? Wow. It's like everything you said. There are real commitment issues, and he also really is trying. So the first card that I have here is the four of cups I'm meeting with the top deck. So every tarot deck sometimes puts a little bit of a different spin. Even though the cards are the same, the creator puts a little different spends on them. So the spin on the luxury card here, it's really interesting. It's like it's beautiful. Like if I could show it to you, there's like a beautiful, healthy flower and beautiful waterfall coming out of it into these gorgeous, you know, golden cups. But they're sitting there seated on an ocean and the ocean is really choppy. So there's this sense of like, everything's great, everything's great. But why does it feel unstable? Like, why does it feel like a wave could knock this over? You know, usually the problem with it is that there is some sort of like it's like a self-centered fear for lack of a better word. There's like that that there's I mean, I'm I'm guessing that this is, you know, the man that you're in love with. It has his fears. They're almost like these narcissistic fears. Like, I'm not saying he's a narcissist. I don't believe that he is, but it's almost like he gets so tripped out that he gets so focused on himself that he doesn't see the bigger picture. The next card that came up is the eight of swords, which is called interference, and it's a really like it's a head trippy card and is totally the card of overthinking stuff like you. Overthink yourself into the abyss and things become impossible, basically. So it's so that's that. So there's like what you're like, the things that are problematic for you. Like, there they are, right? It's like this sort of feeling that you can't relax. It doesn't feel stable. He's overthinking it. You don't. You don't trust that he's not going to just like douse you with a wave. But then the last card is the six of swords. Now the swords and the tarot. They're all mental. They're all of our head games and our head trips, right? So with the eight of swords, you see that over thinking head trip going on and then with the six of swords, it's us using our mind in a great, mindful, rational, realistic, cool way. So, you know, there's two ways I want to read because I read this like one is just like what you're saying that he you know, he's he's trying. I believe that he really is trying. I just picked another card and it's the three of wands he is really trying. Do you guys talk openly about this at all? 

Querent: We do from time to time, and we're both going through kind of like a transitional period, we're both applying for different jobs. We are both like completely. It's basically the biggest thing that's on our minds, and I know that his focus is kind of I don't know how to explain it, but just he's got a lot going on. But so do I. And I don't know. We've been dealing with this for like three years now, so I like that. I can see that he's making these efforts and like trying. I just, I don't know. I don't want to, like, have false hope or anything. 

Michelle Tea: Yeah, I mean, I think I don't think you have false hope. It looks like you see it for exactly for what it is. You know, like, he does have commitment issues. He is afraid. I mean, even though the six of Swords is a great card, there is an aspect of it too, where it's about being self-protective. So he's just afraid, you know, and it's like, is he? Is he in touch with these fears? Is he able to articulate them even to himself? Who knows how deep the fears go like it might be? This might be a call for therapy, you know, or something like that could help him really get deeper into what he's scared of so that he doesn't miss out on a great, deeper connection that he could be having. But yeah, I mean, you know, it's more like, can you accept the reality for what it is? You know, he is trying. Is that enough for you? You know, he's also is skittish and and kind of like overthinking things, you know, which gets in the way of your intimacy, it looks like. 

Querent: OK, well, thank you so much for being as strong as you are. 

Michelle Tea: Good luck. But yeah, like he's not, he is trying, so he's trying, but it isn't enough for you. It's that that's your tarot reading. You're welcome. Take care. 

Querent: Thank you. 

Michelle Tea: I just want everyone to go to therapy, says the person who's not in therapy, but I have been you guys. I've done my time. OK, let's see. Let's see what else we have here. Okay. This is like, this is funny. This is a this is. Oh, before I get started on that, I do want to tell you guys, especially for folks that are new. If you like this show, go to Spotify. Look at your magic. That's my other podcast, which you would probably also love. And all of the past episodes of this, I've asked the tarot are there and you can listen to them. And again, if you love tarot so much and you want to be part of my Tarot Study Group, I'm having a witch workshop tomorrow that is focusing on the Fool. And you can come to it if you join the your magic patron on at the thirty dollars level, you can just come and you get these workshops once a month when we get to hang out and do deep dives into all the different cards. I'm really excited about it. OK, so here's here's somebody that needs tarot help for their tarot practice. OK, so let's say someone has two major things going on. One of X and the other of Y. But when they ask for a town meeting, for whatever reason, they only decide to ask about X. Does having a second, but also significant situation in the parents mind impacts the reading of the first situation? Oh my god, I love the I think this person's having like like a kind of a funny mental meltdown as they're writing this. They go on to say, like, do you ever do a reading and know there is something else creeping in that really doesn't seem to fit with the current cards? Well, yeah, of course. So do a reading on that other thing. That's all you got to do. I mean, I think that I don't know. I love playing with tarot cards. I'm spending like my aunt, my my recovery from my getting my crystal out of my kidney. If you guys missed the beginning of this show, I had a procedure done for kidney stones yesterday. So I'm a little special tonight. But what is very special is learning that kidney stones are crystals. You guys their kidney crystals, my body's making crystals, but I didn't ask it to. You know what I mean? So you have to get rid of it. But anyway, all I'm doing is like laying in bed and like playing with my tarot cards. And yeah, if you got different things going on, pick for all of those things because you don't want to be ignoring something and having it there in your mind. I do think that, you know, will come up a lot of times, you know, people, well, well, you know, I'll do a terror reading for somebody. They're like, Oh, I want this reading about my career and I'll do it and I'll be like, Guess what? This is about your relationship. Sorry, this is what the tarot actually wants you to know. So, yeah, I mean, I really do think that, you know, the tarot wants us to know things, whether that's our own highest self trying to get us to listen. If it's spirit, I don't know what it is, but I do. I do believe that, you know, if something is poking around in your mind, it'll come through. So yeah, give yourself a terror reading. OK, now let's see who's out here. Jessica. Oh, Jessica, you are on unmute yourself. Oh, there you are. 

Querent: Oh my goodness. 

Michelle Tea: Hi. 

Querent: How are you? 

Michelle Tea: I'm good. How are you? 

Querent: I'm fine. I have an interview tomorrow and I it's for an internship. I'm in my last year of school. It's been a very long journey and I work this company last summer and they've it's been a very small, up and down process of having finished the internship. They were like, Oh, you didn't get the job, but we want you to come back. They've had a whole life changing recruiters. I didn't hear back for like weeks and weeks and weeks, and they're like, Oh yes, we want you to come back and do this interview event next week. And so now it's now it's coming up. And I'm just wondering if the interview will be what it will be, but I'm wondering if this is the right. Maybe if it's not the right path, but like what? What, what will the pitaro say for me as I continue this path and see what it looks like? 

Michelle Tea: Yeah, it looks like. All right, I'm going to do one more little shuffle on this on this internship in that path. How can you put in your energy direction? Gosh, it's it looks weird. You know you have the first. The first part here is the excitement part. The second part, which is like a kind of a riff on the justice card for the chopstick. The second one is disappointment, right? But then the final one is the priestess. So like, what I'm getting is like, you don't need this internship. Like, I think there's bigger and better things for you. I think especially if they're like, Well, we can't give you the big, glowing fun thing that you want, but we have this little crumb for you. It's a situation like that. Just walk away from it. You want to, like, hold tight to like your your ideals, for what you want for yourself, for your best life. What I really want to say to you is I think you're. Do you feel that you're an intuitive person? 

Querent: Um, yes, I've learned more that I am coming into my own intuition. 

Michelle Tea: I mean, trust your gut about it. When I come up, it's like there's something going on where, like, I don't know if this you might be. You might get a sense, you know, in the interview of like, Oh, this is not going to get this vibe doesn't feel right. You can trust. You can really, really trust that. Yeah, it doesn't. It doesn't look like it's the best path for you, but it looks like there is a good path for you. On the other hand, I always, you know, with meetings like this, somebody else got one like this tonight where it's like, This goes and then this beautiful part, it's like, Well, no, that's not for you, but something else cool. Just waiting for something else that you're interested in or. 

Querent: So this is I'm a fashion student, if that adds to it and I'm in my life, I didn't start in fashion, but I know that truly, it's my it's my passion and my drive. And I learned a lot from my first time doing the internship, and I'm about to go to Europe in a few weeks for the first time. And literally I am stepping on the plane on the first day of the new year and I'm going to spend my twenty sixth birthday and in Europe and England. And so I am. I'm excited to see how that experience opens my eyes to what else is out there. So, yeah, 

Michelle Tea: that sounds like total high priestess. I'm going to ask them to you while you're not speaking. Oh yeah, that's that looks. So that looks great. That looks great. So I think that OK. So the first card that comes up for like what? What is what does that experience like in relationship to walking away from this internship? The first card that you get is the four of wands, which is called completion. And it's sort of like, I feel like you're going to get to Europe and there's going to be this sense of like almost homecoming of like, yes, like obviously you're just at the start of your career, but it's going to give you a sense of like how far you've come. You know, it's like and it's going to make the internship seem so sort of disposable, like, it's not. It's so not about that. Like here on the ground today, it might feel like that, but when you're a continent over, it is not going to feel like that. You've got these really great Aries cards. That one is Venus and Aries, which I love. And you know, Venus fashion, you know, an Aries is very like self-propelled. Then your next card is the two of wands dominion. And that is such a great card. That's Mars and Aries. I feel like I would not be surprised if you I don't want to say you're going to find a new direction. I do believe the fashion direction is your. It's your path, you know, but it's. Almost like you're going to find a new path within your path, you know, to become very, very inspired by like revved up about the two of wands is like a card that is very much on fire. It's like fire on top of fire. Mars, Aries wands. It's everything. It's blowing up and you're going to feel so good there and so energized and you're going to just, you know, hopefully you already know that you're your future isn't rising or falling on this one internship, but it is going to feel so far out of your mind while you're there and then you get another two, you get the two of swords, which is called peace. It's one of the nice swords cards. It's a moon in Libra, and I just feel like you're going to you. You're going to have like a revelation. It's going to blow you up over there, like you're just going to be so on fire and really at peace with like the path that you're on, what you have gotten, what you haven't gotten. It's all going to make sense. Does that make sense? 

Querent: Yeah, absolutely. That makes entire sense. I I definitely have felt that like because this internship is a very big corporate and they're a big corporation, and I am just excited to this is this makes sense that I'm going to really discover more about like my path, like my path within fashion and my direction and really discover myself and my interests a little bit more when I am when I'm abroad. 

Michelle Tea: Yeah, I think I'll be fine, especially with you're going to be exposed to so much. I think it's an amazing time and I think that you're going to get with that. With that two of swords there, you're definitely going to figure out, I think, like refine what you're really going to be doing in that in that industry, I want you where you want to be headed towards. 

Querent: Wow, how fabulous. Thank you so much for answering my question. 

Michelle Tea: Oh yeah, totally have a great time. 

Querent: Thank you. You as well. No, I 

Michelle Tea: think you feel better with the thank you, my kidney crystal. I will thank you. Oh my goodness, my kidney crystal, you guys. I wish. I wish that I could keep them. You know, a friend of mine was she? She had to look up kidney stones after I told her I was going to do this, and she sent me a picture of a bunch of them. And she says, and she wrote, would pick this up at the Crystal Store. They look like a aragonite, I think is the crystal they look at. They look like. Anyway, enough about my kidneys. Let's see what else is happening here. OK. We have a witch in need. Oh, well, a witch in need is a witch, indeed. I recently started my own business due to losing my previous job due to COVID. It was kind of a manic impulse if I am being honest, that started to gain speed and took off. I was a manager in child care and I loved it, but it was very emotionally taxing. Being a business owner was and still is pretty all new to me. It is a small consignment shop that works with local art artists and crafters. I've been doing a lot of craft shows and things of that nature, but have yet to see major success. I have had great feedback from the artists I work with and they're wonderful and a lot of them are friends. As a tourist, I crave that financial stability, no doubt. So I've taken on a part time retail job at a local GameStop. I'm wondering if this entrepreneur path is one I should focus on or keep it as a kind of side gig is taking a part time job too much. Should I prioritize the business? Was child care the true calling? Oh my gosh. So many questions. So many questions. OK, so let me see what is it? Look like I'm going to just do these like quick hit one cards. What does it look like to stay on the entrepreneur focus? OK? Have that be the main focus? Or conversely, what is it look like to keep the entrepreneurial efforts as a side gig? OK, what does it look like to take on this part time job at GameStop? 

OK, let's see. Let's see. What does it look like to not take on the part time job at GameStop, right? And finally, with child care the true calling, after all. Let's see. Let's see. You know, maybe some of these you might get, you know, some green lights for a few things. OK. I haven't put the cards over you guys because I also really like to surprise myself. OK, so the entrepreneur path? OK? The card that came up for the entrepreneur path as the main focus. It's the seven of swords. It's the futility card. It's Moon and Aquarius. It's a no. So I want to just talk a little bit about the nature of why it's a no or the kind of know that it is OK. And I also want to remind everyone tarot readings in the moment it's about right now. But in Aquarius, it's like basically the Aquarius is like, Oh my god, I'm going to open a business and I'm going to support I'm Aquarius, by the way, and I'm going to, you know, have all the artists. Other stuff is going to be so cool. I have parties and it's like, you know, you have this beautiful Aquarian vision that's visionary and creative and radical. And then you have the Moon that says, Oh, I know I feel unsafe. Where's the where's the money for the phone bill coming in? Oh, that's costing something. What do we do with that inventory? The Moon is that Taurus nature that is craving financial security. So yeah, I mean, it's it's not actually going to give you the security, at least right now. It doesn't look like the path towards security, and it does look like you need some security, OK? But if you keep it as a side gig, oh my goodness, it's the devil as a side gig. It's the devil is a side gig that's so interesting. It doesn't want to be your side gig. It wants to be your main squeeze. It seems like it would be hard to keep it as the side gig because it would keep sort of growing and yet not growing enough to really help you. Right now, this is complicated. Let me see what does it look like to take the part time job that doesn't really help five of five of discs? That's sort of a non sequitur. It's sort of like, what does that have to do with anything, the part time job? OK? What if you don't take the part time job? You get the hanged man. So. Oh my gosh, I can't even believe this. But I am going to tell you right now that child care was the true calling. You've gotten all of these really rough cards. They're just rough paths. You know, if you the path to, you know, making you're the entrepreneur path, you're your full focus is stressful. It's going to just stress out your mind and bring you a lot of anxiety because it isn't. You're not going to have that financial security. And yet doing it part time seems almost impossible. It's like it's like your vision is a full time vision. The GameStop thing is just sort of like not going to really help you out. But then if you don't take it, you're you're you get the hanged man and you're like, Well, here I am not taking a part time job, thereby not having the money I need. It's like the real question of this is money. And I wish it wasn't. I wish we didn't live in capitalism and we could all just open up little stores and sell whatever we want and be happy. But it doesn't look like this like retail world is giving you what you need. However, child care the art card, it's beautiful. It's almost like that is the art, you know, it's like, that is the way for you to support art. It's almost like thinking of these all these little children as art, or there are their parents, you know, are who are yourself like what kind of things you get to create what you get to build with them. The art card should really be called alchemy because it's just about two things coming together and making a third. But it is. It's just about being in flow and harmony and things working out, and it's just like a gorgeous, beautiful card. It's also a riff on the temperance card from the traditional tarot, so and temperance being the middle path that gets you kind of cared for, right? That like, you're not over here, you know, like starving and you're not over here. Like, you know, I don't know, not doing something creative because I do feel like there's a creative energy to the child care for you. It is your true calling. I'm sorry that your store is a no from the tarot. You will, of course, go off and do whatever you choose to do for writing questions. How do we submit that? I see your question, Jasmine. I'm at Instagram. At Michelle Cheese. That's TMZ, Michelle TMZ. You can send me your questions. I put them in this like 50 page document. I have of questions and I promise to eventually get to it. Hopefully, while it's still topical in your life, or you can raise your hand right here as I'm going to just call somebody on somebody right now on my call. Hello, my girl. You could do it like that. 

Querent: Hello. 

Michelle Tea: Hi. How are you? 

Querent: I'm fine. So my question is I just started a new job that I was like, kind of into you because the pay is really good and the benefits are insanely great. But after this past week, I'm feeling like I was like, this diversity hire like everyone. Around me is like super straight conservative, and I didn't really know that going into it. There's this other job that has just presented itself to me, and I'm looking at it because there's a bunch of queer people that work there. But the pay is like a good chunk last, like ten grand less and the benefits aren't as great. So I'm kind of like, What's what should I be doing here, right? 

Michelle Tea: Oh my God, I hate that you're having to be, you know, having to choose between your health insurance and your queerness. It's like, I'm all right. I'm going to first, do you some? And I pick three cars. What does it look like for you to stay with this, you know, at this corporate place that you feel like you're perversity higher, which is not a good feeling. It's like, but it's telling you, well, which is great, and health insurance is so important, it says the person who just got a kidney stone blasted with lasers. So let's see. What does that look like? Maybe it will get better. Maybe their interest in diversity is sincere. Maybe or maybe more queers will be joining, you know, OK? Or what does it look like for you to instead follow up on this other opportunity where you will get to have all of the joy of working with other queer people, which is such a joy and feeling at home, in yourself, at home, in the space? Not as good of a pay, but maybe that's okay. See what that looks like. OK, so your new job. Oh God, the first card that comes up is the hair effect. It's like, Hi Daddy, it's like, it's like I patriarchy. That's so funny. OK, and then, oof, the failure card seven of discs, it's called failure. And here's here's the deal with the failure. Let me just pick it all. Oh, God, in the night of just OK, the failure can't. I mean, obviously, the hair often is like, you know, the hair is traditionally the pope. So it really is about this old school. It represents like old school patriarchal values and patriarchal ways of doing things. It also represents other things. But you know, for this question, for the purposes of this question, I mean, that is absolutely saying like, Yeah, yeah, this is definitely not. You're right. The failure card here is so interesting. I think Johnny Nichols was writing about this the seven of discs recently, and she was writing about how it's like it happens in a moment when there's not a lot of activity happening. There's some sort of a a standstill. And in that standstill you get really scared and you're like, nothing's happening. So this is interesting because it's almost like you were excited to come in and you know, you're now that the excitement has worn off. You're like, you're looking around going like, Oh God, I'm the only one here. And it's really easy for all of the fears and the discomfort to kind of come up and make you feel like this isn't right. I'm not saying that. It's like an illusion. You know, I'm just saying it's like, that's that's what's happening. And then you get the night of discs and let me just see first with this. Yeah, oh my goodness. The night of this is a good card. It's sort of like. The of this is telling you to stay and not be so rash. The night of discs takes things slowly. I have a crazy idea looking at the cards that you have for the queer business too. Is it possible for you to do both or just kind of slowly invest in the queer business? Because the queer business looks like it has its own problems, but your final card is the chariot, so it does look like it's ultimately a good home for you. It looks like it's a good. It's like, you know, for the for the job that you're at right now. There's the hair fit. There's like the patriarchy, there's the sense of failure. This is right for me. The night of discs, though, by not making a move, something is happening. Something is gestating. It's like, can you almost wait it out and let the does the queer business need to grow a little more or something? Is it just getting started? 

Querent: They're like a startup, and they just started, 

Michelle Tea: OK, yeah, like in early 20s running over there. You have the prudence card, the aid of desks and that is a sort of like it's a be careful card. So it's a little it's a it's a funny card to get for something like this, right? It's the like take care of yourself in an earthy earth sign way like my job, right? And then you get that seven swords, that futility card, which is like, Ooh, I thought this was going to be great, but actually it feels unstable. And then you get the chariot. So there's two ways of looking at it. One is that you go over there and that's what happens, and then you split, and that's the chariot riding the chariot out the door because you do, in fact, have some financial needs, you know, some material standards. Or it could also just mean that you wait a little bit until they've they've got legs and are able to bring you on it like a higher level, you know, so that it's something that you have tucked in your back pocket, like if you're able to meet with them and just give them all the love that you have for them, but then also give them a reality check about what they're offering, you know, and and maybe they'll be able to move up because the chariot is very triumphant, right? And I tell that that's where you want to be. You know, that would be the yeah, there's not much triumph at the job that you're at. It really is more about a little bit more about enduring and figuring out how to be at peace with it. 

Querent: Yeah, that's my big problem. Yeah, like dealing with my own personal politics. 

Michelle Tea: Oh gosh. Yeah, I mean, I just picked around that when you said after dealing with your personal politics, I picked the full card. And I mean, it's really interesting because, you know, I'm doing this whole workshop on the floor tomorrow night. So I'm doing so. I was just reading, I just did this really deep dove into the pool and what the full archetype really is. There's this full archetype that's all over the globe, you know, from ancient history. And there are always these people who are different than everyone else around them. And for some reason, they're allowed to speak the truth and they're allowed to talk shit. They're allowed to, like, put down the powerful. So it's really interesting that you're like, Oh, my politics, you know, here are, you know, they're they're not the politics of the people that you're working around. I almost feel like there's a reason that you're there right now and you're you're there kind of to be the fool in that way and to be the person who says, what should it be said? And you know, I I don't know, how does that feel terrible? 

Querent: No, not totally. Because there's a thing in the back of my mind with this job that so it's 100 percent remote and they're based in Southern California, and I want to relocate to L.A. So I was like, Oh, maybe this is just since it's more money, it's just going to help me get out to where I want to be. 

Michelle Tea: Yeah, I mean, you can't. I mean, for sure. Yeah, I mean, if you can definitely just use it for. And there's this other queer business. Is this in Southern California or is it where you live now? 

Querent: It's where I am now in New York. 

Michelle Tea: I mean, 

Querent: yeah. And the other thing with that one is that it's that they offered me a six month contract and then they're saying it would become full time after six months. So, yeah, like, that's part of the thing that keeps me from saying, Yes, I'll do it. 

Michelle Tea: Oh, because it's not even if it's not full time, are you? Do you have any fear? Well, no, 

Querent: it's full time, but it's not permanent, right? Yeah. 

Michelle Tea: OK, yeah. You don't want that. You need something that's permanent. I really think that. So how long have you been at the new job for a not very long? Oh my God, my god. Now you got to see, you got to stick it out. There's more to it. I think that you, you and your beautiful queerness and your smart fucking politics. I think that they're going to be more welcome there than you think even. And I think that it could be even a situation that the people don't even know how welcoming they're going to be. You know, but I think that you're going to be charming. And I think that like, I think this is a lot of fear and this is definitely going to be a change for you. Like, you're out of your comfort level, you're out of your queer bubble, like queer person. Like, I get it like it's hard to be in straight situations. It can be really weird and it can feel unsafe. You feel very vulnerable. And I really think that's what the seven is. It's it's it's vulnerability. The seven is the emotional number and the tarot. It's the number of emotions. And so it's seven in the suit of the Earth. And so the Earth wants stability. And then there's these emotions coming in and rocking the boat. And so that's kind of what's happening. I see the light of discs as you being there and it being this really good situation for you. Like, he's he's not moving. The Sun is reflecting off his shield. It's turning the hillside green. It's like a it's a weirdly nurturing situation. I think that it's not your forever job, for sure. I think you've got to give it more than four days. I don't think your startup is going to give you the life that you want. Yeah. 

Querent: OK. I mean, the last thing I'll say is, I say that's. The immediate like it's been four days ago. 

Michelle Tea: You may relate to that, you're like, I love getting jobs, it's keeping them. That's hard. Yeah. Oh my god, I wish you so much luck. Happy birthday! 

Querent: Thank you so much, Michelle. Oh, thank you. It was on Saturday. 

Michelle Tea: Oh, excellent. Well, happy belated birthday. 

Querent: Thanks again. 

Michelle Tea: Bye bye. Oh my gosh, you guys, this was so fun. Thank you for being here. I want to tell you guys again that if you love this show, I do it every Thursday. You know, sometimes I have to mess it up because there's a thing, but I think it's just going to be Thursdays for the foreseeable future. So come hang out. If you if you like listening to people, talk about their problems and tarot, you can go on to Spotify and look up your magic and on your magic feed, you will find all of the past. Ask the tarot episodes. So that is a lot of fun for you to binge while you're on a car trip to visit your family for the holidays or whatever hell scape you might find yourself in. We're there for you. And also, again, if you want to be there with me and learn more about the fall and get groovy about it, I'm going to be doing this tomorrow night at Seven O'Clock Pacific Time, and you can get hooked up on that by going to patron on to the your magic little place on Patron. Come see us. We do really fun things. OK, I guess that's all for now. Thank everybody for being. Thank you everybody for being so great and trusting me with your problems, and I will see you again next week. 

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Michelle Tea: Hi, friends. Remember to catch Ask the Tarot Live every Thursday at 9pm eastern on Spotify Green Room. Join me for a journey through the cycles of life, love and aspiration in real time. Just download the Spotify Green Room app, sign up for free or use your Spotify login to join the conversation. You'll be able to hear live readings, meet super interesting people and even ask questions of your own. Download Spotify Greenroom for free today and join Ask the Tarot Live every Thursday.