Ask the Tarot: Can I Heal My Friendships or Should I Move On?
This is a recording of our live Greenroom show from December 2, 2021. Follow @askthetarot on the Spotify Greenroom app to catch Michelle Tea live every Thursday at 6pm PT/ 9pm ET.
This transcript is AI-generated and may not be 100% perfect.
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Michelle Tea: Hello, everybody. This is Ask the Tarot. Thank you guys so much for being here. I'm your host, Michel. I'm the host of the podcast Your Magic, and I'm the author of the book Modern Tarot, and I've got like a whole bunch of hero decks in front of me, and I'm going to go through a bunch of questions problems, issues that people deemed me at my Instagram, which are all welcome to do. I'm at, Michelle teased. You can send me a questionnaire and I will do my darndest to get to it and in a timely fashion. But I gathered a bunch that were all about friendships, just like friend problems, right? OK. And so I'm going to do a bunch of reading for those. But you guys, you can ask me about anything you like. Just raise your hand, just like request to be called on and I'll do it. And and yes, happy Thursday to everybody. OK. We're so close to the new Moon, you guys. I really I don't know about you, but I'm needing just like a bolt of like fresh Sagittarius human energy. OK, let's help this person. OK? OK, I'm reaching out for some insight about a former friendship that is taking a lot out of me, and I feel like it's sapping my energy back in high school. I was going through some hard times, recovering from trauma and mental health struggles. That's high school, am I right? And was a horrible friend? I did some things I regret but have learned from and accept that I was in the wrong. This friend abruptly ended our friendship about six years ago, which was toxic and unhealthy in most aspects and ultimately back to end. However, I truly cared about this person and have struggled to reconcile this situation and release my guilt for my actions back then and anger at how I was treated in that friendship. I want to work through these feelings to find resolution and move on, but don't know if it's appropriate or necessary to reach out and apologize. All right. So I picked some cards. I hit this deck that I actually really love. Visually, it's on my visually most favorite decks. Actually, it's called the gentle thrills tarot, and it's by this great artist is a banister and who makes all kinds of like wild accessories and prints and stuff. So if you like a lot of wild bear, you might like this deck. So I picked three cards for saying, what would it look like to, you know, reach out? And it actually looks really good for you to reach out and apologize. The very first card you have is the magician, which what a great card, because it is really about creating your own reality. It's about creating what you want. It's, you know, basically the cool thing being witchy people is that, you know, if we don't like what's happening, we can like we can do spells, we can change the energy up, you know, or we can try to we can set some intentions. So the magician is really about that. And so it seemed like, yes, you know, go forward with that. Reach out. Apologize. Be a magician about it, though, you know, like, what do you want to conjure? What would you like? You know, don't cast a spell on your ex friend. That's not consensual, but just spell in yourself. You know, who do you want to be in this friends like friends you want to be? Who do you feel like you are? What do you want to purge? What kind of energy do you want to bring? You know, it looks really beautiful. And then there is the three of disks, which is, you know, in the Crowley deck, it's the work card. And, you know, in all the tarot, it really is about work. It's about having to build something. So I like this. It's it's a very earnest and sort of pure. It's a salt of the Earth card, you know, like you're going to you're going to put in some elbow grease, you're going to get your hands dirty. You know, it might be a little hard to look back on what happened and, you know, capture what you have to cop to. And, you know, maybe ask also for an apology or, you know, whatever it is, it's it's it's work, but it's good work. It's like good, honest work. So this is this is really positive. And then at the end of it all, who are you? You're the queen of Pentacles. So like, you take on the pentacle work and you end up being the queen of it. And I love that ending for you. It just to me, it tells a really beautiful story. The story for not doing it right for for just letting go. I was like, OK, what if? What if she just lets go and just, you know, we all not all. I mean, you know, I love when I say these hugely general, you guys, we all have these relationships in our past that we have, we're from. Obviously, that's not true, but many of us do. It's not uncommon. So I was like, What if you just have to walk away from this relationship? The first part is the six of us. What? Which is so beautiful in this deck, it's like a bouquet of peonies, I love it. So I'm like, OK, that's maybe also a good option. But then you get the five of cups. It doesn't really look that good to me. That is not as triumphant and beautiful of a story as this other one. With the magician, the three of disks are three of Pentacles and then the Queen of Pentacles. So good luck to you setting out to sort of repair your past. It's a very beautiful and honorable thing to undertake, and we all wish you so well. OK, so you know, I got just like endless, endless pages of these friends questions, you guys. All right. Who's out there, Natasha? How can I help you? How can the tarot help you, Natasha? Oh my gosh. I love your photo. I love your little heart. Thank you, my gosh.
Querent: Hi, Michelle. Thank you so much. So I am struggling a little bit. I want to ask the tarot card just for some advice. Kind of, I guess, maybe like on my spiritual path and like my purpose, I'm kind of over. I'm overcoming and recovering for eating disorder and some other mental health issues going to be going back to work next week, not in a good job. Like not not a good job. And that's what I meant, but like a good job for myself and for my mental health. And I just still don't really know like what I'm supposed to do. I'm just kind of at a crossroads, just really just wanting some advice and from the tarot. All right.
Michelle Tea: OK, so are you thinking let me get a little bit more clear about like what your possible directions are? So are you thinking that you want to leave the job that you're at? Does that seem like them? You know, when you say you're at a crossroads, what are you between like between different options?
Querent: Yeah. So I am. I can either stay at my job or I can completely switch career paths and I want to do nurse esthetician or just, I don't know. I mean, have a degree in nursing, so I don't really. I mean, there's a lot of options, but I just am bedside right now not enjoying it. So or if I have a completely different career that's like, I'm not, you know, recognizing I really into acting. So that's that's something that I've kind of a hobby that I've taken on, so I'm just not sure where to go.
Michelle Tea: OK, well, the first thing I'm going to do here is what does it look like for you to stay with, you know, the bedside nursing that you're doing right now just because you are in a transitional spot? And I know from recovery, it's often just, you know, encouraged to like not make too many huge changes, even though sometimes you just want to, like, destroy your whole life and make everything new. So let's see what it looks like for you to stay where you are. And then you're thinking also of doing like like esthetic nursing as petitioners, I'm ruining what you said.
Querent: Yes. So like injections, fillers, like anything to do with like, I guess, like working like a beauty salon med spa.
Michelle Tea: Yeah, I get it. You'll be like the nurse that's making people pretty sick. What would that look like for you? Would that be just like less stress, maybe more money? The change of scenery? Who knows? Would it be better for you in your life to do that now? What would it look like for you to start focusing more energy on acting and doing that a little bit more seriously and organizing your life so that there's more room for that to take that space and maybe grow in a cool direction? So let's see what that looks like. And is there anything? Are there any other options that you're thinking of right now?
Querent: Possibly school in a couple of years, going back and furthering my education? Not like really like not going. I want to do it. But like I know as of right now, maybe not, but I never know if there's like the opportunity comes up. I know my aunt sent me some information about like a residency program. So I mean, it's kind of weird that that opportunity kind of pops up in my life already.
Michelle Tea: So, OK, so to you one final shuffle on some sort of school, whether it's what you're on set you or some other program. OK, so staying where you are for now and remember, tarot is always just for the moment. Oh, you. Yeah, you don't want to be there. You do not want to be where you are right now. Your very first card for that is strife. So you're like a stressful, you know, the nature of the strive card, the five of wands in the top deck that I'm reading with with the reason it's like such a painful card is like you have too much energy and no place to put it. So like, there's just something about this position that's no longer allowing you an outlet for your energy. However, the next card is the four of swords. If you had to, you could make peace with being there for now. And then you've got the nine of wands Moon and Sagittarius. So, you know, very optimistic, very resilient. This is telling a story of like if you need to be there, meaning like if all these other card cards come up. You can hang there for a minute until, you know, the fog lifts and in a direction becomes more apparent to you, but let's see what look working at a med spa might look like for you that you can make that happen really quickly. That actually does not look bad. Do you already know people who are doing that work?
Querent: So I actually just talked to a friend today, and she told me that there was mutual friends interviewed, so interviewed ideal image. And so I kind of reached out to her and was like and ask her, like how the interview went, like, kind of get some tips. And I've just been looking into some programs to like, get started.
Michelle Tea: Yeah, it looks like there's probably people who you can talk to and get like, get those scoops, like your first two cards or court cards, you have the night of swords and he's like super chatty. He's an air sign, very Gemini, and it's a supportive card. There are these three birds in the car that are meant to be, you know, the support system of this guy who's charging forward with a lot of purpose. And then there's the queen of wands. Sort of. She's so goddesses, she can do anything. She's got tons of energy, you know, she's been through a lot and so she like, knows the hard road and she knows it's kind of the road of glory. So that's really cool, too. There's something about, you know, you talking about, like having some coming out of recovery like that. You know, there's a story of the Queen of Wands where she's really been through a lot and has had to transform sort of the hard way like trial by fire. But she wears that with pride and knows that she can, like, help people with that story. So it is kind of like very much of a recovery model of like working with your own experience. So I don't know how that would help you if there's maybe people you know through it through COVID, through recovery, who might be able to hook you up. But your final card here is the eight of wands it's arms. It's Mercury and Sagittarius. You know, we are inside season. Mercury just went into Sagittarius. This card is about things moving very quickly. So I think if you wanted to just jump on this, yeah, you would find yourself like it would take on its own life, you know, and I like that. I like it a lot better than the other one. OK, acting for you right now? You know, acting is you don't want to. You had said, I think you referred to it kind of as a hobby. Is that true? Yeah, I just I
Querent: did theater in high school, but I kind of straight away from it. And then as of right now, I'm just doing like acting classes like here and there. Haven't I been looking into doing it more seriously and getting some portfolio done and doing auditions? So yeah, it looks
Michelle Tea: like, I mean, it looks like a hard path for you. You know, there is like the first card that comes up is the seven of which is the debauch card. The nature of that card is that you just trying so hard to get something out of something and it's not going to yield it to you. And it's really frustrating. And on the other side of it is the luxury card is another card, it's the forum cups and it's just not very stable. You can kind of that's a card that can kind of go either way. I don't like it paired with the seven of cups. It just it's looking like there's there's something about the the acting where there's a lot of emotions. There's like it's almost like it will open up emotional instability within you. Does that make sense? Like, there is something about it that could be like triggering.
Querent: Oh no. Yeah, that totally makes sense.
Michelle Tea: Yeah, I don't think you shouldn't do it. I just think that I wouldn't expect it to be like your livelihood right now. Like, as far as just like where your energy should most go, it's it really is looking like doing the Med Spa Nursing looks like a really great way for you to kind of like catch your breath, like reorient yourself to sort of like your new your new world, the new you. You know, but your middle card for this is the princess of desks. And again, she's another one who's sort of been through it all and came out the other side pregnant, which is really funny. So it's like she has something to share, like she's, you know, she's grown from it. So again, there's something in there for you. But I just think that, you know, not not to go towards it thinking that it shouldn't don't try to make a hobby a career right now. And as far as school goes, it also doesn't look like the right path for you right now. You got the defeat card, the cruelty
Querent: and then Arafat,
Michelle Tea: which is the card of school. So it's definitely saying the cards are saying a really big no to it. I think what you should do is really try to get yourself set up and one of the med sponsors top it out at the job that you have until you can make that hop. You know, so you're not in any kind of like lousy situation, but and get yourself established over there. Keep taking lessons. But don't don't put too much pressure on the acting. Just let it be something that is just enjoyable and not stressful right now. Don't ask for it. Don't ask it to do anything for you, if that makes sense.
Querent: Oh, that totally makes sense. Yeah, I mean, that just really clarifies a lot of the uncertainty with all of the options that I kind of have that my
Michelle Tea: role is so great for that. Those are my favorite readings to do where it's like. Absentee, you know what to do, and it's like you can really you can really make sense of the stories that way, so. So thank you for asking. OK, let's see. I get another friend prison having friend problems here in my inbox. I have had a really hard time lately with my relationships, not just in love, but also friends, and I'm really scared that I'm choosing the wrong path and that people will be disappointed in me. But I was wondering if there is something coming up that will happen in my love life and friendships that will change due to my decisions. You guys, this is such a mysterious question, isn't it? It's like what? What, what path is our parents choosing co-parent? What plans are you choosing? How do you think it's going to affect your relationship? There's so much we don't know. So I grabbed my Voyager Tarot. This is like a kind of old school Voyager. Teladoc has been around for a while now. It's a really wild collage jack. You just feel like this guy just kind of like got super hopped up on like green tea and like with like a stack of National Geographic's and just like spent 15 years just cutting out the tiniest little pictures and making this really this incredibly detailed tarot deck. So I picked three cards. I just asked the tarot. What does the spear of this person? What is your connections look like? Write your love life, your friendships, your human connections with other people, the people that are close in your life. What does the energy between you guys all look like? Considering especially that it looks like there's some choices, some new choices being made. And, you know, I'm not saying they're wrong or not. I don't know what they are. So what the tarot gave me is actually quite beautiful. It looks like everything's going to be fine with you and your friends, which makes me think that either you're not choosing the wrong path, right? Or if you are choosing, quote the wrong path, whatever that means. You know, if you're choosing a difficult path, your friends are going to stand by you, you know, and sometimes we need to take a really stupid path. I don't know why. I don't know why. I don't have to know why. I just know it's true. So here are the cards that you got. The first one is the two of cups card, which is called equilibrium. In this deck, which is blue. It's about beautiful balance. So it's like you guys are equals like you have equal amount of love for each other. No one's judging you. No one's thinking they're no better than you. You know what you should be doing in your life. That just looks like beautiful. Like almost unconditional love. I like it for you so much. The next card you got, it's called six of worlds, and I believe the world's in this world. In this deck, take the place of the disks the earth suit, right? So it's called synergy, and that's so great. It's basically the six of disks, which is like a success card. So again, it's me saying that like the moves that you're making right now are the moves you're supposed to be making. And hopefully, as you know, as they sort of as that continues to sort of play out, the people in your life will see that and they'll be there for you. And then you got an ace, which an ace is so great. When you're when you're at the threshold of making new decisions, which it sounds like you are aces is a great it's the ace of crystals in this deck, which is the ace of swords, and it's called brilliance. You know, just think and there's just like this brilliant crystal cluster in front of a sunset, you know, on the card. It's really cool and there's fireworks. So it's like, you know, it sounds. I hope you feel inspired by the choices you're making, even if they're a little scary. I hope there's something about these that are inspiring to you and worth, you know, worth having to kind of, I don't know, worth whatever wary. It's inspiring and other people, you know, I hope so. I hope that you can just really enjoy like the freshness of these new decisions that you're making and trust that your people are there for you, no matter what. It's really nice. OK, I'm going to see who's got their hand up. Ryan. Hello, Ryan, you're muted. So if you unmute yourself awesome, how are you?
Querent: I'm sorry. How are you doing, sir? I'm good. How are you?
Michelle Tea: Great. How can the channel help you tonight?
Querent: OK, so basically I am searching for my purpose like I am the regular person. I'm going to be twenty nine on Discovery Channel Femicides, you know, so big. Thank you so much and have a stable career. You know, I enjoy the job. You know, it's not what I thought I would be in, but I've been there the longest I've been in two years. But it's what am I? I live a mess. I'm not taking like I want to say, Well, I'm living like a mess late. I'm not taking care of myself, you know, like health wise and stuff. But I don't see a reason to because, you know, I'm surviving, you know, and everybody wants me to like live and stuff. But it's like, What am I doing it all for their money and their power? You know, am I after love? I don't know. You know, what's my meaning for giving up?
Michelle Tea: Right? OK, that's very interesting. So, all right. So one thing, if I just was going to make you kind of brainstorm all these different things, but hearing you kind of outline that yourself like money, power, and I think what I want to do is shuffle and ask the tarot to, you know, show us through the suits, the energy of the suits and the numbers and whatnot. You know what? What is the what are the things that you would be best served going towards, right? Like what are the energies that it would be best serve you and give you that sense of meaning that it sounds like you want in your life? What directions should you be going towards? So, you know, we're dealing with the tarot, which are these old ass imagery is right images. And it's like, it's not like someone. It's not like it's going to, like, literally tell you what to do in our modern, but they laid it into something that can be helpful. One more shuffle shuffle here. Oh, OK, and this is actually really interesting. OK, so don't be scared, Ryan, but your centerpiece card is the Death card.
Yeah, OK. I mean, you know how I am, you know, the death card very, very rarely means literal death. And in no way do I think that it means that in this reading for you, however, you did mention that people that you're letting yourself care go and like people are worried about you. And I would just I'm looking at this, you know, skeleton holding a sieve, and I'm just saying you might want to beef up your self-care a little bit, you know, you just might want to do that. The death card, when it comes up, it means it's really interesting. I kind of think of it as like, there's a part of yourself or there's a part of yourself that's dying. There's an era of yourself that's dying. There is an illusion about yourself, a projection that you had about yourself and assumption you had about yourself. That's dying. So who's underneath that right? Your very first card is the night of Swords. And he, you know, he just came up and he's a really great card. He is an air sign. So it's like lots of thought, lots of thinking, communication, talking. He's on his horse. He's like flying through the sky. He's got three little birds next to him. They're like his little support system. So it's like it's saying like, that could be a person in your life. That's like trying to save you. Sometimes the cards are actual people in our lives. So if there's somebody who's just like ready to talk to you about this stuff was really there for you and really supportive. Lean on the like advantage. Take advantage of their chatty ness and their intellect and their desire to support you. But it also could just be an energy. It could be you. It could be you feeling like I got to bust out of this. You know, I get to bust out of this lethargy that I'm in this sort of stuck place. There's nothing like the death tried to get you out of a stuck place, you know? And what's on the other side of it is the ten of Swords, which is another gnarly card in the tarot. It's it's the, you know, in the Rider-Waite Jack. If you're familiar, it's the person laying in the street with 10 swords in their back dead, you know? And so in the end, I don't mean to like, have this like laugh in my voice as I'm saying this, but you really it's time to walk away from from some stuff that isn't working anymore, you know?
Querent: Absolutely.
Michelle Tea: And I think that, you know, while you're in the stuff that's not working, you're in it like, it's really hard to see what your meaning is, what your next move is because you're surrounded by a bunch of shit that just like it isn't you anymore. It's not your vibe, it's not what you're interested in. And so it looks like what you need to do. I don't know. I. I really like writing, making lists and honestly, with the Knight of Swords in the spread, like he's a really he's really lusty making also, but I would just sit down and make a list like shit that is not working anymore. Just write it all out. It's just for your eyes only. Don't be afraid of hurting someone's feelings. Don't be afraid of any any repercussions. Just be like, totally honest with yourself. You don't need to do anything about it right away. You just need to look it in the eye and be honest. Be like, That's not working. That's not working. That's not working. And then once you start looking at it and knowing that you have to start making slow changes to kind of clearing out the clutter. I really think that what what your true purpose is and what really kind of like gets you fired up and inspired, it's going to become more apparent to you. That said, though, I'm going to give you I'm going to pull some cards from this really cool oracle deck that I work with. I like to use it when somebody is in a rough spot like you are where you're like, OK, you're having to face the death card and the ruined card. The 10 of swords. And you're having to look at some stuff that you know has happened in your life has become in your lives, maybe even the fabric of your life, and it's not serving you anymore. It's really scary to figure out how to tear it all down and start over. So I'm going to just ask this oracle deck what energy are available for you to think about as you begin kind of dismantling, you know what needs to go so that you can fill in what's what's better for you?
Querent: OK? Absolutely. Michelle, you are spot on because you were like, These are the words you were like looking you in the face. And I'm looking at it right now and it is am I? I can get rid of it and I can be better.
Michelle Tea: So good. I'm so glad to hear that. Like, here's a here's what's here. These are some things that are here to help you. Some energy energies to help you. Even though, like there are, some of them are like hard, but it's like, this is what you need to be thinking about. The first card you got is self doubt. OK, so that is saying that something that's standing in your way and it's going to maybe make it harder for you to get rid of what you need. What you need to get rid of is the sense of self-doubt, like, can I really do it? So when that comes up, you got to just see it for what it is. It's just self-doubt, you know? And then your next card that you have, it's it's called defeat and it's so I wish I could show you this card. It's a little star with like Five Eyes and it's crying and it's so cute. It's the cutest SAG card in the world. It's a little sad star, and that's you. You're the little sad star and you feel a little defeated and then you have the forgiveness card. It just says, forget. So it's like, Listen, this to me looks like a pattern of like self-doubt. I can't do it. So then you don't do it. So then you feel defeated, and then you've got to forgive yourself and move on. You don't want to stay in the cycle of self-doubt and defeat where you're like, I can't do it, and then you don't do it, and then you feel like shit. And then you're like, See, I can't do it. And so then you still don't do it. You got to break that cycle, and it looks like forgiveness forgiving yourself. And if there's anyone else around who for some reason needs forgiveness. Do what you can to forgive and start start anew starting. You know that you can always start new. Does that make sense?
Querent: It absolutely does. Absolutely. 100 percent good.
Michelle Tea: Well, you know, you just have more energy than most of us. Well, I appreciate it.
Querent: But they are going me like, do I have to, you know, because it's so much fun, but I don't want to give it up. Oh, well,
Michelle Tea: you know, it's I think it can be. It can be hard to trust that there's something even better on the other side of the death card.
Querent: But there are always there are.
Michelle Tea: There just always is. So. So give it a try. Just give it a try. Thank you so much. You're welcome. Have a good night. Hurray. OK, what are we going up next? Here we get another friend problem. I've been trying to do readings for myself, but I think I'm too close to really hear my intuition. I've been feeling a bit haunted lately by a friend lately. We had a bit of a passive aggressive falling out. I wasn't in a place to be able to talk about my feelings on the matter. So by the time I realized the friendship was ending, it was too late to turn back to make things more complicated. I've had some confusing sexual feelings for this person. Oh no. And I'm in a committed relationship. Oh no. Oh no. I'd love some clarity. Is there a way to revive our friendship without
Querent: hurting her or me,
Michelle Tea: or do I just need to let her go? So I grabbed a tarot jack called the new chapter Tarot. This really beautiful tarot deck by Catherine Briggs and I pitched three cards like I did for the first person tonight. Three cards four. Can you reach out and be honest and say what has not been said or what does it look like to just let go and move on? OK, so this actually looks a little bit complex. I almost I'm like, am I not see is there is there another is there another option? But I just don't think that there is. So, you know, it looks like you should. I would say yes, go, go and reach out to this person, but know that just because just because you reach out, I think it will out there is there is an ultimate good to be had from reaching out in the reconnecting. I don't know that that means you guys are going to be friends, but it might resolve it, OK? And here's why I'm saying that you got the nine of disks, which is a very beautiful, sort of like abundant, fulfilled card. So I'm like, That looks really nice, right? And then you also got the eight of disks, which is about, like hard work, but like hard work that pays off. It's a little bit like the three, but it's a smarter in the work is a little bit further along its more sophisticated, just like you've had more time to really think, you can really present yourself in a way that you're going to feel good about, right? But then you got the seven of cups, and that's just like, So it's really emotional. It's very emotional. And it's like, no matter how well you, you know, present yourself and how thoughtfully or speak and how, how you know all of that when it comes down to the emotions. It's wild, right? And they're not rational. So, so it's haunted a little bit by that. Now, if you don't, if you don't follow it, follow up the first card you get for that. Trying to let it for letting it go is the two of discs, which is change, right? So like, you're really going to have to shift like in some way, it looks like you've been waiting for the moment to to, you know, to deal with this, right? And it feels like my feeling is like, you want to actually connect like you've been waiting for this moment. So it is a little bit of a gear shift to be like, No, I'm actually going to walk away from it. And then you get the ace of discs, which is like, OK, good cycle for you, right of like really having put this behind you. I think you can. And you will. And then you're the king of swords. And I don't love that story. I just don't love it. You know, the king of Swords is great, but I don't know. Like, he's also a little icy. He's a little detached. It doesn't feel as you know, I wanted, you know, I know you're looking for resolution here, right? And that just doesn't feel resolved, really. You know, even though reaching out does feel like you're going to have to deal with the messiness of the emotionality. I don't know if that feels more real, like maybe that's what actually needs to happen. You know, the other the other one, I was just walking away. It just seems like it feels a little bit like avoidance, even though I know that's not what you're trying to do. It just doesn't look. It doesn't. It doesn't feel it doesn't feel full to me. The other one does, even though emotions, you're going to be in the oceans of emotions with each other. Good luck. Good luck having that awkward conversation about how you and your you and your friend are hot for each other. None of us are envious of that, and we are all rooting for you. So take care and good luck. OK, now see, how about Ma? Is Ma around? Wow. OK, yes, I'm very familiar with your with your question. Thank you for sending it. And I just want to do a shout out to all the people who have sent me their questions. I literally have 48 pages of questions and I want to get to all of you. So if and when I don't. It's not personal. It's just it's just there's a lot and you guys all have very worthy, worthy things that you're working with. So look, Ma, I'm going to first shovel asking, what does it look like for you to go forward with this? You know, like, that's what your original plan was, it sounds like. And you now go forward not really having to, I don't know, like letting go of the question of like if you're owed it or not owed it or if it just, you know, like, can you get it? And if you are owed it, then you'll get it and just kind of trust that and that if you know and if you're not meant to get it, then you want. But just like, see, see if it's in your best interest to actually, you know, fill out those papers and see what that looks like for you. So I'm picking three cards for that. Or what does it look like for you to walk away from it? What does that look like? Is that in your highest good, you know, mentally, physically, emotionally, spiritually? Is it enough? Is it closer to your highest good to actually just pass out? Let go, you know, continue to let go of that chapter of your life and do it all of the healing stuff that we have to do when relationships and what does it look like for you, just to put it behind you? OK. So pursuing it? OK, pursuing it looks good ish. Oh gosh, they have their ups and downs, and I will detail them for you. So going after it, ace of wands, OK? Yes. Like there is energy there. You can grab back onto energy, whatever that energy you had at the beginning when you were going to do it, that gung-ho energy is available to you again. And you know, right after the ace of Wines is the princess of Wands, and she's really embodied that energy, that fire energy of just going after it. Not being afraid to ask for what you want and seeing what happens. You know, they're the last card that you have here is like emotionally a little weird. It's that four of cups. It's called luxury in the top deck. And, you know, it sort of looks good. But the water is shaky and it just looks. It looks complicated, right? It looks like if you are concerned about any sort of like emotional repercussions, you're probably going to experience them. You know, like if you're worried, it's going to feel weird, it will feel weird. You know, is it going to string things with you and your probably? Well, yeah, it's it's it's like it does look like you can probably get what you want. It might be a little bit of an emotional cost to you. Now, if you do let go and move on, it actually looks maybe better. But with a catch, you have to truly let go and move on. And that's what I'm worried about because your centerpiece card here is the seven of cups which is called debauch, and that is the card. It's again, it's an emotional card. Like that card that's seven of cups is like trying to fill the hole that can't be filled, you know? So if it's going to eat it, you in some way that like you didn't, you know, take care of yourself or you didn't make your ex pay what they should have paid. Like, whatever it was, you did what you owed. Like, you're going to have to figure out how to silence that little, little grasping greedy, angry voice inside of you. That little part of yourself that feels entitled and angry might really rise up. So I don't want to discount that. But on either side of that card, you know, for what it looks like for you to let go and walk away, you have the success card, the six of death. That's beautiful, and it's definitely saying you don't. You're going to be fine without that money, like you don't need that money to take care of yourself or anything like that. And then you have the Empress Card, which is gorgeous and it's a major arcana. That's why I'm being a little bit drawn toward this path, because your other path, you know, also has like, you know, ups and downs, but there's no major arcana. So the ups, the upside of walking away is actually bigger than the upside of like fighting for a little bit of of cash, that inverse card. It's it's very beautiful. It's about love and it's like it's sort of like how that success card has popped up. I'm like, Oh, you're going to be taken care of somehow. Like, you don't need that money. And then with the efforts there, it's like, Oh, you're like divinely taken care of, like you're very much taken care of without having to chase this down. But again, that you can I could see you being haunted by the seven of cups that to buy card. That's just not letting you sleep at night because you in order to go that route, you'll really need to be able to let go of it. So just think about that, you know, it's there's no judgment. There's no real right or wrong. There are just two different potential realities for you. If you and your heart know like I, I won't let go of that. I am going to. I am going to sulk and see about it, you know, forever. Then see what you can get, you know, and just know that it's going to be emotionally a little bit of a weird terrain, like a little fun house energy, you know? But you know, if you feel like you can, if it feels like it would be good for you to sort of tame that hungry and tight like her voice inside of you, you know the part, the part of you that's reacting to the hurt. In that way, it feels like it would be good for you to to get involved with taming that, then try it out and go the other way. Is that even helpful?
Querent: It is. I hope. I don't know if this is overstepping my bounds. If it is, let me know. But I have another question related to the last four of cups. I think, OK, what is it? Yeah. So you mentioned something about like emotional repercussions going that route. And I was thinking, like, what rang a bell that I feel like he's kind of the teddy not letting go type either. Uh-Huh. I can't remember what the seven was, but that makes sense because I'm the type to kind of hold grudges. But I can also see myself letting go because I've already gotten to that point where I kind of have with it right. If I do choose to pursue going after the extra finances, whatever. I could also see him because it was a pain in the ass about that. Like he is totally, but more so. And he's been to the point with stressing my family members, Where should I go ahead? Because last time when I first left, I got a restraining order and he went to court and fought it and we got him you one. And it's expired, should I? Grab this time and insist on a like full on restraining order so that you can't contact me to be found guilty, etc. Let me see.
Michelle Tea: OK, let me see. Let me see. Well, that's a lot of more information, too, so let me see what it looks like. Yeah, I think you should get the restraining order, you know, for getting the restraining order. You got the star card, the Night of Swords, which is just keeps coming up tonight and then the four. This is what's most convincing to the foreign desk, which is called power, and it's literally a fortress. It's like about power and protection. So yeah, you should do it. But that's really interesting to know because here's the reality. Like, if this is somebody that you're trying to keep away from you and your family, the the the alimony will keep you connected to him. You know it just well, it just well. So if there's a way, you know, to get out of it and to try and just to kind of deal with the grudge, you know, and know that like, you know, the money isn't still I mean, it's you know, it sounds like if restraining orders are involved, obviously, there's been a lot of pain and a lot of hurt and a lot of like bad behavior. The money is not ultimately going to soothe that. You know what I mean? Like, believe me, I know he loves money more than me. Money does heal a lot, actually, but I don't believe in this situation that it necessarily will. It's just it's still going to be on that choppy water with it. So. So, yeah, I mean, do you get the do you get the restraining order that's definitely in your highest good with the star guard there and, you know, support, you know, protecting your family also with the little birds that are flying alongside the Knight of Swords. But yeah, hearing thank you for sharing a little bit more information. It definitely makes me feel strong more strongly that you want to go towards the empress, towards peace and love and serenity in and away from the the sort of like bad vibes that are going to come along with the instability, the emotional instability that's going to come along because the instant emotional instability is being caused by this other person, you know, so not only are you going to have to deal with yourself, you're dealing with them too, whereas that sort of grasping seven of cups, that's just you deal doll. You can always deal with yourself like it's in your best interest to deal with yourself and figure out how to tame your grudges, right? So I like that for you, whereas like being on eggshells and having this, like never knowing when the next wave is going to knock the cops down, that's having to be connected with this person. So I would I would opt out of that.
Querent: And that makes a lot of things like the the letting go. The Empress one that you mentioned feels a lot like, yeah, I got ready. But then he just keeps popping back up and I'm just like, just I just want to be done with it.
Michelle Tea: Yeah, yeah. Moving that move in that direction. That looks like it's like the most like Coldplay and looks like it's the most well for you, right? It looks like it's like it's there's the most like love and peace over there. You always want to go towards the empress, right?
Querent: Awesome. Thank you so much. That was such as
Michelle Tea: You’re welcome and wish you so much love. Take care of yourself. Oh, my goodness, restraining orders. That was so stressful. OK, let's see, I got another. Speaking of stress, we got some more stressful friend things happening here, OK? Over the past year, I've had a lot of personal growth and change that's been both very difficult and very rewarding. This whole period has left me feeling like a whole different person and therefore distant with the people in my life that once were close to me. OK, I'm wondering if I have reached a point where these friendships have come to a natural end, or if I need to put in some additional work to get them to a place where we feel connected and understood again? I wonder how like common this is in different ways, just because we've all been so separated from our friends right through the pandemic. So this is just like an extreme version of that. But I'm just wondering how this is more common than we realize. Should I push through this rocky period with my friends or put more energy into making new friends? Maybe do apps and social media that could be more fulfilling if possible? Can I get readings for the paths of my two closest friendships with G. And T.? Otherwise, just one for my friendship as a whole is great too. OK? You also get chatty. OK, so what's the vibe? Look between our. And G. Friends, G. So, you know, I'm going to read good cards to mean like, you know, there's still life in this friendship, there's still, you know, connection connectivity, you know, purpose. And I'm going to take challenging, hard negative cards as to mean, like, you know, maybe this is not right for you anymore. So there's three four g three percent g. And now three for friends to hang on to my little trouble with these friendships, G, as illustrated by the two of wands Dominion, the art card and the ten of discs. Well, very interesting. Okay. Frenchie is the prince of disks through the five of disks where he and the ace of Swords. OK, so you know, at a glance, obviously to friendship t looks like it's the one that's struggling a little bit more. I think that I'm looking at G here and it's interesting, you know, when that Dominion card comes up that to the two of wands, it's Mars in Aries. It's like so on fire with itself, right? It's just like, you know how Aries has, you know, the shadow side of areas. Its bad reputation is being like the self-centered baby of the zodiac, right? But there's important times in our life where we need to channel that energy. We need to be all about ourselves. So this is interesting. It's coming up right now for you during this moment where you're like, I'm different, I've changed. I don't know if you know I can fit the new me into my friendship. So this is I think there's a saying that, like you can with G like G has room for you to kind of like make all of these calls about yourself and be like, you know, my needs in a friendship has changed the life. I need to really be who I am. The art card is a wonderful, wonderful friendship card. It's actually a card of like two people who've merged into one. So it's, you know, it's cosmically codependent. It's like, but it's a good card. It's, you know, it's supposed to be a good thing. And it's like out of those two people's energy and new energy is born. It's sort of energetically creative. It's inspired. It's it's it's very good. And then the ten of the ten of discs, you know, it's it's wealth. It's called wealth. And this read in the stack, the top deck. But really, it's about like all kinds of riches, right? The riches of friendship, the inner riches, you know, the resources that we get from our connections with other people, how they sustain us, our spirits, right? So this is beautiful. I really, really love it. Also, the 10, you know, is essentially the very last card in the whole tarot, right? It's like the last the the the Pentacles tend to come at the end and the 10 is the last in the pentacle. So it's sort of saying that like, I don't know, like this person can really stick around. I think for the for the long haul t, I'm not so sure about OK, the prince of Desk's, the prince of disks could go either way, but I'm feeling like his his shadow elements are coming out in this reading and the shallow elements of the Prince of darkness like a little stubborn, a little stuck in their ways. A little boring. I don't know. Like, it's like, you know, showing somebody that you maybe have outgrown or would outgrow. And then the five of disks, you know, there's just sort of concern that, you know, it's the opposite of that 10 of disks, right? Which is all about like riches and growth and, you know, fruits of your labor. And the five is just about scarcity and worry, and it doesn't look good. And you know, the ace of Swords is saying that there's like a new way to relate. That's possible, but honestly, it's coming a little bit a little too little, a little too late for me and this spread. I'm guessing that the overall vibe for T is this is not necessarily a friendship that's going to feel good for the new year, but g looks like a party. Don't give up on you, OK, you might have to give up on T, and that's but, you know, such things do happen to you guys. It's kind of we're running out of time, but I want to get some more people in the room up here and see Jasmine. Jasmine. Hello.
Querent: Hello.
Michelle Tea: Hi. How are you?
Querent: Good. How are you?
Michelle Tea: I'm good watching the tarot do for you tonight. OK.
Querent: So I'm really, really, really, really need to tarot to answer. And what should I do about my financial issues? So I've been kind of, if I'm being honest, jobless since the beginning of September because I decided to pursue a career in making photography and filmmaking. So trying to find a job that is in that realm. But my account has been dwindling because I want to travel, so I want to make a career with photography through traveling, you know, like, you know, combination wise. But it's kind of hard when I don't have a job. So I'm wondering if, you know, I've been trying to just say no to not go back. Who a fast food job, because you hated it, you stressed out it was a worst experience ever. So that's what I need to know.
Michelle Tea: OK. All right. So you know, you don't want to go back to your old job. What about like what are the choices and options that are that you're kind of able to pick out right now what seems possible?
Querent: Oh, I'm so. I've been applying to non paid internships just for like experience, but as well as paid internships and freelancing and to also my schoolbooks have been helping me continue just supporting myself financially lax.
Michelle Tea: All right. So internships, just look, John, and so are you. It sounds like you're needing money. Yeah. So the internship sound cool. And but so what does it look like? I mean, I definitely pitched. I pitched cards for that. But what about other stuff that's not fast food, you know? Like, is there something? What about, see, I'm just going to shovel for you? Like, is there a job out there that's not a paid internship that actually can support you? It's not fast food that's like actually leaning more on like your skills and your interests. You know,
Querent: a creative job.
Michelle Tea: Yeah, yeah. I mean, you just need to be looking in different places, right?
Querent: Let me see.
Michelle Tea: Let me see. So, you know, the the internships look a little rough. I mean, you got that two of wands, which is like you. I mean, pursuing it for sure, like with a lot of energy. But then you get the hanged man and isn't an internship totally the hanged man? It's like you're going to be really uncomfortable doing a bunch of grunt work. I mean, I know like, we have interns, you know it my Your Magic podcast, and we really try to break the mold on what they kind of tend to be. But, you know, even a great internship, you are underpaid and you are hoping that you're doing this period of underpaid work so that you know something that happens in your future. Right? But then the last card you get is the sorrow card. So that looks a little rough. OK? Can you let me see for looking for a job for yourself? That is something that is more in line with your passion. You got the Prince of Wands, the Queen of Wands and the nine of wands. These are great inspired cards for you. I really like them. Do you know anybody who work in the areas that you want to work more in?
Querent: Um, I'm kind of in the midst of an internship that is unpaid. Even though it's ran its course, they still like just loving having me participate. So I'm currently like collaborating with people who are in the film world and whatnot. But again, it's not pain. It's just like more so for fun and just entertaining.
Michelle Tea: OK. I'm wondering if you can, like, propose like a coffee with some people who maybe have some power in those arenas? I'm saying next, I'm looking at you got the prince of wands here and you got the Queen of wands. I'm feeling like they're representing people around you who are in there like players and they're in this world that you want to be a part of, right? Yeah. And so, you know, beyond, you know, just like going for coffee with them, splurging and buying a coffee and just being like, Listen, like I need to, I need to move on and actually get work. Like, what? What can I do? Will you get an actual job? Because I mean, that's the promise of the internship, right, is that it will lead to actual work. So I don't know if that's something that you've actually had a conversation you've actually had, but you know, it's with the nine of wands, which is a super. The night of wands is very optimistic and very like, I can do what I can do anything. So this is really good energy. There's really good energy around you. Moving towards paid work that is not fast food work. I mean, I think that's absolutely fine for you to say, I want to do that anymore. There's lots of other things that you can do, but it's all about like learning what those other jobs are. And so maybe by talking to these people, they can help you get your head around, like what entry level jobs might be available to you?
Querent: Definitely. I think that is really helpful because like I said, I'm currently in the midst of working with these people, even though it's like virtually and they all get paid. It's like my internship technically ran its course in September. And so now I've just been like, like, like Jasmine, can you do this? Where are you? I'm like, OK, yes, I don't mind because I'm not doing anything because I'm jobless, but was like, You know, I know in some way, shape or fashion, I could have been getting paid through somebody else to do the same thing. So I think that definitely helps because I was just praying my old manager kept saying, Jasmine, do you want to come back to Chick-Fil-A? And I'm like. No, but I'm sitting here jobless, so I'm like, I can't be picky. Beggars can't be choosy, is what I keep telling myself.
Michelle Tea: Yeah, I mean, there's but there's a fine line between that. Like, it's also OK to aspire to kind of like level up, you know, like, you're not a beggar, is the deal. Like, I just talking to you, you can hear how capable and full of life you are, you know, and just the fact that you know the people at your internship just keep trying to ring a little bit more work out of you like and you're so giving and generous with your time, like you're not a beggar like you actually sound like you'd be an incredible person to have on a team. So think of yourself like that, you know, and, you know, have have a heart to heart with these folks who are running these internships and say, like, I am, you know, on the verge of having to, like, go back to this old work that I don't want to do anymore, you know, like, can you help me? You know, what's the next step after this? You know, can is there somebody else? You can tell me that I can talk to that I can introduce myself to what? What town are you in? Huh? What can I ask? What town you're in?
Querent: Oh, yeah, I'm in Georgia. But the people that I in, I'm currently working with are in California, so that that does make it hard to do. But I definitely there's so much.
Michelle Tea: There's a lot of film in happening in Georgia, right? Yeah. So, you know, maybe what they can do is just connect you to people in Georgia or do the footwork yourself. You know, what are the film companies that are happening, you know, or production companies or, you know, all of the stuff like, Oh, I hear that, oh, you are Jasmine, you see this jasmine. Always leave the chat here. I thought she worked for the company. Now you have you have like serious leadership vibes, and so you don't, you know, you don't need to go back to doing work that isn't in line with like what you feel like you're here to pursue and to learn about, you know?
Querent: Thank you. Thank you so much. This could be
Michelle Tea: easier said than done. I know it can be tough, but like, you know, talk to the people in your internship and also do some footwork around Georgia and see what are what opportunities are like in your backyard that you might not even be noticing. Mm-Hmm.
Querent: Definitely. Thank you.
Michelle Tea: You stay here. Thanks for being such a great part of the community here.
Querent: Thank you. My virtual call? Bye bye.
Michelle Tea: Oh my god. I love Jasmine. I love all of you guys. This is such a great vibe. Always. Thank you again for showing up. Thank you for showing up before serving the glitches with me. Oh my gosh. Hopefully this won't happen next week. I will be here next week and I don't know what the theme will be, but I really hope to see you guys all and again. If you if you missed any part of this or you want to listen to other episodes with other problems and people and themes. Just search for your magic on Spotify and you know you'll get your magic and you'll get this as well. And yes, good luck to Jasmine to everybody here tonight. Have a great night and enjoy the new Moon this weekend.
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Michelle Tea: Hello, friends. Remember to catch Ask the Tarot Live every Thursday at 9:00 p.m. Eastern on Spotify Green Room. Join me for a journey through the cycles of life, love and aspiration in real time. Just download the Spotify Green Room app, sign up for free or use your Spotify. Log in to join the conversation. You'll be able to hear live readings, meet really interesting people and even ask questions of your own. Download Spotify Green Room for free today and join Ask the Tarot Live every Thursday.