Ask the Tarot: Lesbian Love Affairs, Bitter Mother-in-Laws & Getting Your Ex Back

A recording of our Ask the Tarot live show from August 18, 2021. Follow @michelletea on the Spotify Greenroom app and listen live every Wednesday, 5pm PT/ 8pm ET.

 

Michelle Tea:  Hello, welcome to Ask the Tarot. This is a recording of a live show from Wednesday, August 18th, and if you enjoy it, you can come and listen to me do it again live on Wednesday, September 1st at 5 P.M. Pacific, 8 P.M. Eastern Time. Follow me, Michelle Tea over on Spotify Greenroom and get notified when I go live. Here's the show. 


[Music]

Michelle Tea: Hey, everyone, this is Michelle Tea. Thanks for coming to Ask the Tarot. I have a lot of questions just piled up waiting for answers — answers from the tarot, not for me. I will really try not to put my own two cents in, but no promises. If you guys would like me to pick a tarot card on your behalf, just go into the little "Requests," like raise your hand and I will do my best to bring everybody up and in and get some time with the tarot. 

So let me read you this first one, because it's like real juicy, OK? How do we start this? My first question is probably figuring out how to be even more patient with my super hyper seven-year-old who has watched way too much YouTube at his other mom's house and has an arsenal of gamer talk and swear words. Oh, my God, I can relate to that. I have a six-year-old who does the same thing in his other parent's house. Oh, my God. OK, so you've got - you have - you have my empathy here. But listen to this, you guys. Maybe my bigger problem — and this is a this is a woman who's writing this, it's a mom, right? Maybe my bigger problem is I've been seeing his kindergarten teacher since COVID started, and she is in a straight marriage with kids and is finally on the brink of leaving him to be gay. Oh, my God, this is so good! And if she does, I'm slightly worried that my feelings may change and life will be boring. We won't have to meet secretly anymore, and I'm not sure if that is good or bad. I love her a lot and I don't like that she's married, but I also feel responsible for her if she leaves. 

Oh my goodness, there's a lot going on here. OK, I'm going to go — I'm going to start with the child, the gamer child, as my child is probably downstairs playing Fortnite right now. He's six. He started first grade today. Oh, my God. All right. So I'm gonna pick three cards on, just how do you deal with this? As of — actually, no, I'm not going to pick three. I'm going to pick one because we have so many questions. And I really want everyone to get some insight from the tarot, as many - as many folks as possible. 

So let's see what is - what is helpful for you? I'm picking from an oracle deck called Vessel. This is hilarious. OK, so this is a beautiful oracle deck called Vessel. I like to use it when folks are just stuck in a problem and you can't really find your way out of it. Like you can't make your co-parent parent any differently, right? And once your kid's hooked on video games, good luck getting them off them. So the card that you got is actually called Defeat. OK, and it's a really cute card, actually. It's like a really sad star. It's a star with like five eyes that's crying and these long, saggy blue arms. And I think the tarot is telling you, like you've been defeated, my friend. Like, you just need to accept it. You've been bested. Oh, my God, I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry for you and for me. I've been defeated also. 

So now let's see. OK, let's talk about this like covert  COVID lesbian kindergarten teacher affairs, this is like my favorite COVID story so far. So — so the first thing we're going to ask is, you know, what - what - you know, what if she leaves her husband? Is this ... what does it look like for you guys to be together legits for real, OK? Not on the DL, but like for real. What does that look like? Is this a real thing? Does this relationship have legs or not? Let's take a peek at it. I've got to pick three cards for this, it's just too — it's too intense. The stakes are too high. OK, three cards for "Does this, covert COVID, lesbian love affair have legs?" And now, like what does it look like if you just are like, "I'm sorry, boo, I'm glad that I helped you, you know, come into your sexuality. But, you know, I'm a lone wolf. I'm a cowboy girl. And I got to - I got to ride out into the night and do my own thing," you know? You're not ... Let me tell you this — even though the tarot might tell you something different — I don't think you're responsible for her. You know, people just aren't responsible for each other quite in those ways. That's what I think. But let's see what the tarot thinks. What do you guys think? This is this is so juicy. OK. What if it's just hot and sexy? 

OK, so first, if you guys — does it have legs, can you guys be together? Holy macaroni! It looks like you can! It looks good. You have the three — these are the cards you have for staying and committing to your - your - your lesbian love affair. You have the Nine of Wands, Strength. OK, that's a really beautiful card. It's, you know, it's Moon in Sagittarius. It's like, yes, we can do this. Like, this is a - life is an adventure that we're on together, like whatever sort of like sexy, you know, chemicals that came from our illicit love, like, they're going to stay with you, you know. Like I don't think the fire is going to go out when - when you're on the up and up. It doesn't look like that. And I'll double down on that because your next card is the Six of Cups, Pleasure. Sun In Scorpio. I mean, Scorpio, theoretically is a sign that would love an illicit love affair, right? So I think it's saying that the ... maybe the illicitness is sort of baked into you guys in a - in a cute way. It's cute. 

But listen, final card is the Adjustment card. Is it going to be an adjustment? Yeah, definitely. I mean, it is going to be different. And you might, you know, these questions might linger if you do choose to partner up with this person. You still might be wondering, "Oh, like, is this the right thing?" But I think you can probably trust that it is. And another thing, you know, the Adjustment card, it's a riff on the Justice card. I'm using the Thoth deck and it's Libra. It's marriage and partnership. 

Let's see what happens if you — if you just, you know, treat this like you were just a little tumbleweed rolling through town. Doesn't look good. Doesn't look good. You got the Star card, OK, and that's beautiful, right? So you have the Star card. So it's like, OK, sure, you can detach, you can let go, you can be like, "Carry on, enjoy the rest - the wonderful rest of your lesbian life. It's going to be so amazing for you." But then you have the Strife card. That's the Five of Wands. It's not good. Then you have the Seven of Wands. It's a good card, but it's a hard card coming right after the Strife card. Frankly, I don't like it. I mean, not when you look at how beautiful everything is when you guys just kind of stay together. 

So, just think when you guys get married and you get to make your like - your wedding website and you get to write like, "This is how we met each other," like that is a good story. That is a really good story. Good luck to you and invite me to your wedding, OK? 

All right. Let's see if we got any requests here. I'm going to bring up and see if the tarot can be of any help. 

Querent: Hello. Yeah, that — that was my reading and phew because she did just leave her husband so. 

Michelle Tea: Whoa, wait, wait. 

Querent: Phew, lucky! 

Michelle Tea: Stop the presses! You are the person whose cards I just read. 

Querent: Yeah. 

Michelle Tea: Wow. Did that sound like it made sense? 

Querent: Yeah, totally. I mean in all - in all hopes of course, yes. 

Michelle Tea: Right, in all hopes. But it does look like treating it just sort of like a fling and being like, "I'm not - I - I'm not responsible for this. I got to go now. Peace out." That doesn't look good. 

Querent: Yeah. 

Michelle Tea: Being open to this growing looks really good for you guys. 

Querent: Excellent. 

Michelle Tea: Yeah. 

Querent: Phew! Thank you. 

Michelle Tea: You're very welcome! Thanks for popping up and saying, "Hey, that's me," because you know, everybody. I get — I request problems and advice questions — I request them on - on Instagram. So especially if folks are shy, you can find me there @michelleteaz and you can DM me and I can read them out loud. If anyone wants to come up and ask a question, you know, raise your hands. That's the way I'm going to do it. That's how I'm going to find people. And let me see, do we have anyone? 

Oh, we get someone. Let's bring her up. Hello. 

Querent: Hi. How are you, Michelle? 

Michelle Tea: I'm good. How are you tonight? 

Querent: Fine, thank you. Can I ask you about my job life? 

Michelle Tea: Your job life? Sure. What's — what's going on? 

Querent: I'm kind of like finishing my Ph.D., but I don't know what's going to happen afterwards. But.. so I don't know if I will like — if good things will find me or I'm not sure. I'm having like a hard time at the moment. 

Michelle Tea: OK, so what — what are some things that you'd like to do with your PhD afterwards? So maybe we can pick cards on like different directions that you can take. 

Querent: So will I — will I be able to find a job, for example? 

Michelle Tea: OK, let's see. 

Querent: In New York, let's say. 

Michelle Tea: A job in New York. OK, let's see. What does a job in New — in New York look like for you when you are out of grad school. All right, what are you going for? 

Querent: Biomedical engineering. 

Michelle Tea: OK, cool. So you're a brainiac. OK, I get it. I get it. That's very cool. All right. Let's see what that looks like. 

Alright, listen. Yeah, it does look like it's hard for you. Your center card here is The Moon. And I say it all the time: We love the Moon. We worship the Moon. When the Moon comes up in the tarot, it means we can't see our way around things. Things... the path does not seem clear. And that lack of clarity can spook us and make us feel like creeped out and unsure of ourselves and a little paranoid. So that's hard. But listen, on either side of that, you have the Knight of Wands and then on the other side, Power. Four of Disks, Sun in Capricorn, a great card for career. I mean, Capricorn is the sign of career. They're the big boss. 

So what I'm seeing is that even though this, you know, the path might not look super outlined and solid to you right now, you've got to go for it. That Knight of Wands is 150% going for it. Knights are fire and wands are fire. So, you know, fire is our life force, our energy, our will, and I think what this is telling you is that, you know, the tarot is saying, "Yes, we know the path. It's really weird right now. We know you can't really see your way. But like, trust your gut, go after what you want and just like assert yourself." Like - like channel that Capricorn Boss Energy, and it's going to work out for you. That's what the tarot is saying. 

Querent: Thank you. 

Michelle Tea: You're so welcome. 

Querent: Thank you so much. 

Michelle Tea: Best of luck to you! 

Querent: Thank you. 

Michelle Tea: Who doesn't want a job in New York? Go for it. OK, so listen, if you want to jump up here with me, raise your hand. That's how I'm getting people up here. I'm going to run to another — I'm gonna pop over to the question that came into my — slid into my DMS. And it's a tarot question. So this is really good, maybe for folks of you who have your own tarot practice or are wondering about tarot practices. 

This question is: What about reversals? I'm wondering if I — she was probably wondering if I read everything upright because I have a book, Modern Tarot, and I do read everything upright in it. She says, "I'm curious and haven't really found a good resource to read reversals." So if you're wondering what the heck I'm talking about, reversals are when people pick tarot cards and if the card comes upside down, it has a slightly different meaning. I don't read reversals and here's why. I just feel like it's super fussy and kind of annoying. And I just think if I pick a card, I just want it to be that card, you know what I mean? I don't want to overanalyze it and be like, "Oh, God, but it was tilted and it was upside down." I feel like... Is it upside down because, you know, I'm a slob and I put my cards back into the deck in a sloppy way? I don't want that to have an effect on your reading if I'm putting my cards back weirdly, do you know what I mean? 

So I don't do it. I feel like the tarot is a sort of perfect instrument with a great amount of positive and light and happy cards and then kind of an equal amount of rough, challenging, difficult cards. And if you're meant to get a difficult card, you'll get it. And if you want to get a happy card, you'll get it. I also find a lot of times a reverse card kind of makes a good card less good and it makes a bad card worse. So it also just introduces more negativity into the tarot as a whole. And I just don't like that. So I don't do it. You guys can do it. Lots of tarot readers do. In fact, on the Internet. I feel like I just saw the wonderful witch and tarot reader Sarah Potter just posted something about doing reversals. I know the witch Sabrina Scott had done a video about reversals. So it's really whatever feels right for you. Like if reversals feel cool to you, you should do it. I just don't like it, so I don't do it. And this is what's so great about these types of spiritual practices. You can figure it out as you go along. You're the boss. You get to make up, you know, the rules that suit you so... So, you know, investigate and then make your own decision. 

Let's see, do I have anyone with their hand up? Yes. Amanda Duran, I'm bringing you up. Hi, Amanda. 

Amanda: Hi, Michelle. Hi from Boston. How are you? 

Michelle Tea: Woohoo! Hello. 

Amanda: So I wanted to talk to you about a certain thing. I actually got engaged two weeks ago, and I'm really happy. 

Michelle Tea: Congratulations. 

Amanda: Thank you so much. My one thing, my mother-in-law to be — and I really, really don't get along with her. 

Michelle Tea: Uh oh. 

Amanda: I don't really have a good relationship with her so any advice or what the cards say about how I can strengthen the relationship without, you know... 

Michelle Tea: Yeah. 

Amanda: It's a little rocky already, so whatever I can do to patch it up, smooth sailing from here on out and... 

Michelle Tea: Oh, my goodness, I'm so sorry. That's rough. 

Amanda: That's okay. 

Michelle Tea: I've been in that situation a little bit. I had one kind of, you know, mother-in-law for a while who like, adored me so hard that I just — I just was like, "Oh, I'm great with — I'm great with parents." And then I met my new boo's parent at the time and she did not care for me. And I was shocked. Shocked! And it is hard to mend those relationships if it's possible. I'm hitting this Oracle deck called Vessel and I'm going to see what it has to say. It's really good for when you're kind of in a bad spot. 

Oh, wow, it's got a really great message for you, OK? I didn't bother picking any actual tarot cards to illuminate it because you seem really clear about what the vibe is, you know? It doesn't seem like you need that. 

Amanda: Sure. 

Michelle Tea: But as far as like what energy is on your side to help you figure this out — the first card from the Vessel deck is It Gets Better. How's that? 

Amanda: Oh my gosh, aw. I love that. 

Michelle Tea: I know right, I love it too. It's like, you know, a broken heart that's taped together and there's a bunch of, like, healing hands all around. It's very cute. Your second card is Forgive. So, whoa. That's a tall order. But obviously, like — and you're just going to have to like forgive this person, her... whatever her problem is. Like, what's your problem, you know? 

Amanda: Yeah. 

Michelle Tea: Yeah. You're going to have to just like have a lot of compassion and forgiveness. And then the next card is Love. 

Amanda: Aw, oh my god. 

Michelle Tea: I know, right. It's like — it's so — it's such a bouquet, these cards, and I'm really happy that you got the It Gets Better because, to me, it's not saying like you're throwing your emotional labor into the void, you know, with forgiveness and love. It looks like, you know, you bringing in forgiveness and love to the situation is going to really help heal it. And it's just maybe - just a period. You're just going to have to wait it out, you know, and yeah. Yeah, yeah. 

Amanda: Yeah, I think I know what I need to do now for sure. So. 

Michelle Tea: I'm so glad. 

Amanda: Thank you so much. And I love the podcast. 

Michelle Tea: Oh, thanks! Thanks. 

Amanda: Of course. 

Michelle Tea: Yeah. You guys, if you like my little tarot readings here, then you might also like the Your Magic podcast on Spotify where I talk to different, really cool people. This week I'm talking to Alicia Garza, who's one of the co-founders of Black Lives Matter movement. So she's a writer and an activist and we talk about home. So check that out. 

Now, let me see. I'm going to pop over to another question. And I think this is — you know, we can't have a contemporary live tarot show without questions about polyamory. I mean, I hope I get an open relationship question every week. If I don't, I'm going to feel like I'm failing, OK? 

So let's see. This is about — somebody is calling about their relationship: "We have a lot of issues and have been through it. Sex is a big part of it. We've been together since 2009 and early on we had similar sex drives. My typical drive is pretty low after a new relationship, hormones wear off." Oh, new relationship hormones — you guys know about that right? After they wear off? I guess this person is just sort of hitting the snooze a little bit on the S-E-X and his is very high. "I also have vulvodynia and lost my breasts to cancer in 2011." Oh, man, that is a lot on the body. That's a lot on the body and vulvodynia — I have a bestie who had vulvodynia and that is a real, real bummer. "Even after that aggressive treatment, I had a local recurrence in 2013 and have had chronic pain from radiation ever since." OK, there's a lot going on here. "He has been there for me through all of that and wants to find a way to stay together. We have amazing adventures together and lots of laughs, but also lots of conflict. He moved to New York City with me in 2019 and it's been a very rough road. We both loved L.A. and didn't want to leave. But after five years on the academic job market, I was lucky to get a job anywhere and had to take it. I'm bi/queer and open to nonmonogamy, which we're considering. But I'm also wondering if the relationship has run its course.". 

Man, it's so hard to tell, right? It's like you've been through so much together. It could be bonding. It could be like history, personal history that you guys are creating. Or it could be like, yeah, it's run its course. Let's — let's see. What if you guys turn to nonmonogamy like so many other couples before you have? I mean, especially if your drive kind of toot's out, you know? Right? You can just be in new relationship, energy forever if you are open to nonmonogamy, right? So let's see if that... I mean, is that sustainable? Who knows? Slash who cares, right? You don't want my opinion. You want the tarot's opinion. So what does it look like for this querent to open up their relationship after this, like, really hard time with their boo who stood by them through all of this, like, really rough stuff? OK, and now what does it look like to just say, "Hey, we have been through it. Like we'll never, you know, we'll always have a place in each other's hearts, but like, let's move on and be new people in the world, you know? And like see what other parts of ourselves come out in the kind of glow of new - new lives, new people? You know what I mean? And people kind of really bring various parts of our personality out of us, I think. So I understand wanting to kind of go out there and see like, well, who am I with this person? All right, let's see. Let's see if we just call it a day. All right. 

Are we ready? Are we ready for what the cards say? So this is staying together. Staying together looks really nice! Calling it a day... wow, this is tough. This is tough. All right. So calling it — OK, staying together, Ace of Swords. So staying together, being nonmonogamous, Ace of Swords. Ace of Swords is really great for like, you know, opening up a relationship, because really it is - it's such a psychological thing that you're doing. I mean, again, I've said this before, more than having lots of sex, you're going to be processing your ass off. So Ace of Swords is great. You're ready to do it. You're ready to talk about stuff. 

The next card you have is Two of Disks. Change, right? You're changing it up. It's Jupiter in Capricorn. So, you know, if you want the most joy from this Change card, you've got to focus on Jupiter, the optimism, the positivity and like really help that Capricorn through it. Capricorn doesn't necessarily want an open relationship. Capricorn wants everything on lockdown like all the time. So, so it's saying there could be like some bumps in that, but also a lot of joy. You know, it's a positive card. 

And then your last card, Nine of Cups, happiness, another Jupiter, Jupiter in Pisces. So this looks great. Like this looks like it's going to allow you guys to stay together to build on everything that you've been through and also bring in an influx of just like this happy energy to, you. You know, listen, though, it's - it's complicated because if you do call it quits, you've got some kind of really intense cards. But, you know, sometimes we're not always looking — with these tarot readings — we're not necessarily looking for the happiest cards, right? Sometimes we're looking for the most meaningful cards, the strongest cards, right? And then you get to pick which path sounds like, in your gut, like the one that makes sense to you. 

So here's what it looks like, the path of — of breaking up. It's the Death card, OK? So, duh, right? Break up, Death card, they go hand in hand. But also it's saying, like, this is massive. Like this is a really powerful ending for you and there's probably going to be a lot of grieving, right? But then you get The Aeon and The Aeon is — it's like this gorgeous card and it's a riff on the Judgment card. So it's about looking at your past, seeing what you've done, seeing what you want to do differently because you're beginning a new era of your life. You're stepping into just this whole new chapter that's really powerful and destined and beautiful. And at first, you won't know what the hell you're doing. But you trust that you're going to, like, rise to the occasion of your own life and you will. So it's a great card. 

And then after that, you have the Knight of Swords. And the Knight of Swords, he's an air sign. He's like he's got this like crazy dragonfly winged hat on. He's just like flying into the sky. So I just see this as like: if you do choose to end the relationship, it's going to be a very powerful move. Your grieving will be intense, but the feeling that you have really begun your life anew will also be very intense. And I think that once you actually step into it and kind of the grieving fades, you're going to know what you want to do and you're going to go after it. 

So, whoa, that is a really — that is a doozy, Laney, I see that comment. So, you know, I'm not going to tell you which one to take. Sometimes I'm like, listen, this is what you do. It's really whatever you feel in your gut. It does look like you guys can happily be polyamorous and it also looks like you could massively change your life by stepping into something a little bit different. 

All right. Let's see if somebody wants to come up here and ask me some questions. Let's see, here's Tessa Brindusa. Hello? 

Tessa: Hi. 

Michelle Tea: Hi, Tessa. How are you? 

Tessa: I'm good. I'm so excited to be talking with you today because I listen to your podcast. 

Michelle Tea: Oh, thank you for listening to the podcast. It's so fun. 

Tessa: So I actually DM'd this to you today, so I apologize for spamming you. 

Michelle Tea: No, no, no, no. That's great. What was your question? 

Tessa: Well, my partner and I have been together for ten years and we left New York City at the beginning of the pandemic. We're both artists and we left because of work issues and we had issues with our landlord. So we've been in the Midwest staying with family and in a lot of ways have been able to have the stability that we didn't have in New York. 

Michelle Tea: Yeah. 

Tessa: But it's also been really chaotic and we felt kind of cut off from our artistic communities. And so we're kind of — I guess the question is: Do we stay put and kind of get those resources and try and make that like like, you know, savings for ourselves? Or do we move to an area that has more of an art scene but run that risk of having that resource and stability that was just so tough for us? 

Michelle Tea: OK, this is like — I love these kind of questions, the like, "Should I stay or should I go there," so forth, right? They're so clear. So OK, what does it look like for you to stay where you are right now? To not - to not go back to New York, to like figure out how to build like a creatively satisfying life like where you are? That's — you're curious about that? Yeah. 

Tessa: Yeah. Actually, we went - we'll be going to Detroit. 

Michelle Tea: OK. All right, so what does it look like? It's like the non-New York one. What does that look like to be in Detroit? Which, my God, Detroit's really cool. I'm gonna give this one a little shuffle, put a lot of Detroit into it. Let's see what that looks like for you guys. And then we will compare and contrast. What does it look like for you to return to New York? I mean, my goodness. New York is the best city in the world, I think. Sometimes I'm like, I need to go to Paris and then I go to New York and I'm like, no, I just needed this. This is — this is the best city. OK, so what does it look like for you guys to return to the real creative epicenter in so many ways? Alright. Although, you know, Patti Smith told everyone they should move to Detroit and not New York for creative people, so. All right. So what if you listen to Patti Smith and go to Detroit. I'm flipping those cards. And what if you go back to New York? All right. 

You know, it looks like it's a little — there's there's some - there's some hardness in both of them. But it looks better for you to be in Detroit. It really does. It literally looks like Detroit is very smart, like a very smart decision for you. You have — and it's a complicated little cluster of cards you have. For moving to Detroit, it's the Seven of Swords. Moon in Aquarius, that's called Futility. But I think I get what it's trying to say. So hold on with that. Then you get the Hierophant, just beautiful. Then you get The Lovers, which is also beautiful. 

So that Futility card. The Futility card — the reason that that's a painful card, it's an intellectual card, it's the Swords and it's... That Moon in Aquarius. it's like we're dreaming too big. I mean, I am an Aquarius, so I never want to tell anyone that they're dreaming too big. But that's just the case, sometimes. We shoot a little bit too high. We shoot higher than what the situation can really give us. So listen, don't expect Detroit to be New York. You probably already know that. You know better than anyone that Detroit is not New York. But there might be something in your expectations that can feel a little disappointing. So if you do make the choice to go there, try to keep your expectations really fluid, really gentle, like just stay open and curious. 

The Hierophant is saying this is a really smart move. This is a good place for you to live and to work. The Hierophant is Taurus. Tauruses are all about work and the home. So it's a big yes card. 

And then The Lovers. It's like — The Lovers asks you to make a choice and to make a commitment. And so I feel like Detroit is proposing to you. It's kind of the vibe that I'm getting with this placement. 

And now if you do go to New York, it's - it's tricky. It's like the first card is the Princess of Cups. It's really beautiful. It's like, "Oh, I got here. Hooray, I feel normal again. I'm back in New York." This openness that you feel there, happiness, right? 

And then you get the Four of Disks, which is Power. It's Sun in Capricorn. So I was like, all right, that looks good. Like that's a very grounded good card for work, you know? 

And then you get the Five of Swords, which is Defeat. So it just looks like you can go to New York, you can figure it out, you can set yourself up there. You know, you're not going to be, you know, homeless or jobless or friendless or any of that stuff. But the things that plagued you about New York before will plague you again. Does that make sense? 

Tessa: Yeah. 

Michelle Tea: I mean, you're going to find yourself in that same frustrating situation. The fact that it's ending with a Sword — a bad Swords card — rather than your Detroit. It begins with a bad Swords card, but then it gets really good. I like that better because that just means you need to get over something to allow yourself to be there and to ground yourself there and soak up what it has to offer. Whereas New York, you kind of like barge into town with lots of great energy and you establish yourself, but then it's just kind of the same bummer that it was in the past. 

Tessa: Oh, wow. That's so great. That's what I wanna hear. Thank you so much. 

Michelle Tea: You're so welcome. I'm glad that it was helpful. And, you know, wherever you end up, you know, I wish you like, lots of happiness and success and creativity. 

All right. Let me see what else we've got here. I think that there's another — I get another kind of housey question here that I didn't get to last week. So, this person writes: "We got to get out of this house, but do we rent a friend's house that is too expensive but close to our business? Do we buy from our brother-in-law and flip the one we're in? Or do we stay? Or do we buy and rent another house altogether? We need some guidance in this insane market. It's boring, but maybe I'd love a reading."

It's real adult is what it is, right? That's what I think about these kinds of questions. I was like, this person has real legit grown-up problems. So, OK, do you rent? I'm just going to — there's a lot of questions here, I'm just going to pull one card for each one. What does it look like to rent that expensive house from your friend? Better have a pool. That's what I think, it's expensive. I hope it has a pool. OK, do we buy my brother-in-law and flip the one that we're in? OK, so you guys want to go down that route, OK. What's it look like to be a little house flipper or alternately, do you buy the house that you're in from your brother and then just — a brother in law — and then you stay there? Like this is our home and we're going to stay here. OK, pulling that. Or do we buy/rent another house altogether? Do we just get out of this brother-in-law's house, say, "We've had it and we're looking for something new?". 

All right. So I got these four cards in front of me. Here's the card for renting the bougie friend's house. Oh, you got The Tower. Stay away from that. Don't rent that. No. Does it matter that it's close to your business? No. Put that money into a new bicycle or something, you know? 

OK. Do you buy from your brother-in-law and flip it? No, you don't do that. You've got to Seven of Swords, Futility. That's like a bad card to get for like a house flipping project. You're like, "We're going to - we're going to be big house flippers because we've watched lots of those TV shows." And then you're just like, "Oh, my God, I want to die." You know what I mean? 

What if you stay there, though? If you stay there, that could work. That could work. You got the Three of Disks. That's a nice card for a house question. It's Mars in Capricorn. That tells me that whatever work you might have to do on the house, as the person who's going to live there, it's going to be way more manageable and your heart might be more into it because you're doing it for yourself. 

OK, what about a whole other house? Oh, yes. This is what I wanted to see, a real strong, you know, something positive. You got The Magician, alright? So you do want to rent or buy another house altogether. 

Do you want to rent? Let me see. I just want Prince of Wands for rent. Oh, The Emperor for buy. You want to buy another house. If you can't, if you can't buy another house and you're renting it, you're still going to be happy. But if you can buy with The Emperor, I'd say do it. 

All right. Good luck with your grown-up problems. Alright, let me see who's around who wants to come up here and ask the tarot a question? Fetti Romine's back. Hello. Are you around? Hi. 

Fetti: Hi. 

Michelle Tea: Hi, how can I help you? 

Fetti: OK, so I feel like I've been struggling with my job. Currently, I have three jobs going on and I kind of got overwhelmed with it. I just want to ask if I'll be OK with that or not because it's not really working well right now. I'm facing some problems. 

Michelle Tea: You sound tired. It's hard to have one job, let alone two. Alright, so you want to know, can you keep - can you keep it going with the two jobs or should you just go to one job? Is that your question? 

Fetti: It's more like, would I be fine or something will go on? 

Michelle Tea: Would you be OK if you just went to one job? 

Fetti: No, I'm a lot — like, would I be fine in the future with these two jobs? 

Michelle Tea: With the two jobs? OK, are you gonna be able to work out, staying? I get it. 

Fetti: Yeah. Or yeah. Or there will be a problem coming up? 

Michelle Tea: OK, let's see what it looks like for you to stick with these two jobs into the future. Have you been doing two jobs for a long time or is it kind of new? 

Fetti: It's kinda new. 

Michelle Tea: OK. 

Fetti: It's been around one month. 

Michelle Tea: OK two jobs, two jobs, two jobs too many if you ask me. But that's capitalism for you. So let's see. You know something? Yeah. You're going to be OK. You're going to be OK. Here are the cards that I got, OK? Nine of Cups. Happiness. That's a big "You're going to be OK" from - from the tarot, you know? And I would also imagine that you're going to find some pleasure in it, which is really nice. You also have The Chariot. So when The Chariot is up, you sort of — you're kind of like being a little bit of a warrior, you know? You're going to have to get in there and just be sort of like a little working warrior and - and be like, I'm going to get through this. I'm going to figure this out. I'm going to ace it. 

You also have The Moon. So it is saying that I think in spite of the fact that, yes, you can do it, it will get easier and you might even feel like a little bit of a boss that you're like balancing everything so well. You still might hit these periods where you feel a little worn out, you know? So are you going to want to do this forever? Maybe not. Can you do it into the immediate future, though? Yeah, you can. But if it ends up getting way too much for you at some point, then you just might want to reconsider again. Does that make sense? 

Fetti: Yeah, that makes sense. Thank you so much. I'm not really thinking to do this for a long time anyways so yeah. 

Michelle Tea: I just feel like, yeah, when you start — when you feel like you're in The Moon again, like, "Wait, why am I doing this?" Like you might just wanna — that might be a good time for you to reconsider. 

Fetti: Thank you so much. 

Michelle Tea: You're so welcome. Good luck to you. Good luck to you. OK, you guys, I have this really funny question that came in that I'm so into, and I don't know that I can really answer this with the tarot, but I'm going to try and I hope that the tarot doesn't get mad at me for, like, not taking it more seriously. But, you know, me and the tarot, we like to joke. We have an irreverent relationship, I think it's going to be OK. 

So the question goes as such: "Hello, I have a question for the tarot. Who bought Sylvia Plath's tarot deck at auction?" OK, you guys, the poet Sylvia Plath, she had a tarot deck. I mean, she wrote about it in her poems like, "My tarot pack and my tarot pack." It was like from... What poem was that? That Daddy poem I think? So, you know, she had her tarot pack and I guess it got sold at auction. And this person who writes me says, "Basically my best guess is Stevie Nicks. She sold her back catalog of songs for like one hundred bazillion dollars so she's the only person I can think of who might be able to drop —" Oh, wait. How much did it go for? One hundred and fifty one thousand pounds — this is a British person — for that deck, that Sylvia Plath deck. "But to get to that kind of a figure, there would also have to be an underbid or two like a wizard battle at auction.". 

Whoa. I see what you're saying. OK, so, you know, I'm going to say — I'm going to ask the tarot right now. Did the Stevie Nicks — did Stevie Nicks buy, bid on Sylvia Plath's tarot deck at auction? Man. Now, there's a lot of reasons why it would be really cool to be a super rich person. And that's one of them. Just like blowing a bunch of dumb money on Sylvia Plath's tarot deck, right? After helping lots of people, of course, first. Then you give yourself a treat. You're like, "I'm the nicest billionaire. I just helped so many people. Now I'm going to buy Sylvia Plath's tarot deck at auction.". 

All right. Let me see. Is it Stevie Nicks? Is it Stevie Nicks? Is it Stevie Nicks? Oh, I don't know how to read this, you guys. This isn't really what the tarot is meant for, but I couldn't resist. Knight of Swords says maybe. Queen of Cups says, "Why are you asking me the stupid question?" And then the Three of Cups, Abundance, says, "Yeah, sure she did." I don't know. I'm not convinced. I'm not convinced. I'm also not convinced that the tarot can answer this. But I couldn't resist the opportunity to talk about Stevie Nicks and Sylvia Plath, two of my all-time faves. 

OK, let's get back to some real problems here. OK, cylinder now, Celine, Selina, now you're up. 

Celine: Hi. Hello. Thank you. Thank you for having me. 

Michelle Tea: Sure. How can I help you? 

Celine: So I have a specific question that might be silly, but I'm a medical doctor from Turkey. 

Michelle Tea: OK. 

Celine: Currently living in New York and want to live in New York rest of my life. So I applied for a job. I passed all the exam required for United States. But the luck is not with me, I guess? I couldn't find the job that I wanted and I'm so worried about that. Yeah. 

Michelle Tea: Yeah. OK, so you tried to get a job that you wanted and you didn't get it. And that is, I'm sure, pretty heartbreaking. So what do you — so where do you go from here? Are there other jobs, other like positions that - that are attractive to you in New York? 

Celine: I want specifically to be a doctor in New York because, yeah, being a doctor is my whole passion. 

Michelle Tea: That's so awesome. 

Celine: Yeah. 

Michelle Tea: So - so then what - what is your question? We know that something happened. 

Celine: Like, can I find — like could I be able to find a job in my like next - next months? 

Michelle Tea: OK, in the next month. What is, what does your job search look like? OK. 

Celine: I applied for residency spots. 

Michelle Tea:Uh huh. 

Celine: So. 

Michelle Tea: OK. 

Celine: Yeah. 

Michelle Tea: OK, you've already applied for some? So you're curious of like what are those going to look like? 

Celine: I'm going to apply at the end of the month. 

Michelle Tea: OK, that's what — you've got to plan. I love that you have a plan. I love that you're a doctor. Thanks for being a doctor. 

Celine: Oh, thank you so much. Thank you for having us. Thank you. 

Michelle Tea: Alright. Let's see what this looks like. This looks very complicated. And that's just the tarot for you. Listen, yes. You're going to get a job at the end of the month, and I don't think it's going to be something that you're ultimately going to want to stay in, OK? You - you got the cards that came up for you. The first one is the Six of Wands, Victory. I mean, like, hello, victory. It's Jupiter in Leo. It's like, "What do you want? You want a job? Here's a job." It wants to give you whatever you want. Sixes are the number of beauty and perfection in the tarot. So I love that. 

I love the next card. Also, it's The Sun. It's like the opposite of that. What the hell is going on? Moon card that keeps coming up for folks. The Sun is like, "Oh my God, I'm at the top of my game. Like every day is my birthday. I'm getting things that I want. You know, the world seems, you know, as I hope it should seem, it's very good.". 

But then the next card you get here is the Ten of Swords, which is called Ruin, and it's a rough card. So what I'm thinking — like what to make of this - this funny sort of story. You know, what I'm getting out of it is that you are going to find a job. You are going to have a job that you that you like, that you feel really excited about. And I think that with the passing of time, you might come to see that there's something about that job. It's not what you thought that it was or it's not going to satisfy your career aspirations in the way that you want it to. I love that you're like, "I'm so passionate about being a doctor." Like there might be something where you're just not allowed to, like, live that passion to the fullest. So you might find yourself back on the job market. But I don't think that it's a mistake. I don't think that means, you know, "Oh, you shouldn't have taken that job." It's an experience that's going to be very valuable to you. That Victory card in the Sun card isn't for nothing, like those are very powerful and positive cards. So I'd say, yes, you have a job coming for you. Get the most out of it that you possibly can. Just like really — just drink every bit of experience, every piece of money, every resource, every joy out of it that you can. And then know when something, you know, goes in a way that you don't like, remember this reading and be like, "OK, this might mean that it's time for me to go." I think you'll know what - I think it'll be very — you'll feel very strongly about it. The - the Ten of Swords is not a like, "Oh, that coworker's sort of annoying." It's not like that. It's something that just feels like, "Oh, I really don't want to work in a place like this." That's what that's the feeling of it. Does that make sense? 

Celine: Yeah. Yeah, totally makes sense. Thank you so much. 

Michelle Tea: You're welcome. We're rooting for you. We want you to get your dream job. 

Celine: I hope so. Thank you. 

Michelle Tea: You're welcome. Take care. 

Celine: You too. Bye. 

Michelle Tea: All right. Well, I'm going to go over to one, it's another sort of career one. This one's from a writer, which I mean, I'm a writer. It feels like the opposite of a doctor on some level. Question for the tarot: "I'm an aspiring novelist. I wrote a book that I'm trying to get published." Congrats. "Specifically, I'm waiting to hear about a fellowship opportunity. And mostly I'm wondering what the cards say about my potential writing career and if I should keep pursuing this dream." 

I mean, I'm going to pick cards. I'm asking, "What does it look like if you keep pursuing this writing dream?" I also feel, even though I'm doing it, that like, listen, querent. Duh —you're a writer. Of course, you're going to pursue your writing. It's like being a writer is weird. It's like — and I say this as a writer, OK — it's like sort of a mental illness. It's a calling. It's a compulsion. I don't know if you can make that many choices about it, really. But I guess some people do. So let's see, should you choose to keep on keeping on writing path? What would it look like for you to do that? 

Ugh, listen, the writing path is tough, but it's your path, OK? That is — that much is clear. You've got the Change card. It's the very first card. And it's hard to say whether it's going to be a good change or I mean, it's — generally this is a change for the better, right? When that happens. But the card that's right after it is Sorrow, OK? So I'm thinking that, like, I hate to say this, and I really hope that my interpretation is incorrect. You might not get this fellowship, OK? And if you don't, give yourself a day to fucking cry about it, you know? Because it hurts, it feels bad and it can feel like an effort, like some sort of like a - like a negative affirmation that you're — that you're on the wrong path, right? It's not true. This is your path. And rejection is such a huge part of the work of all artists. Your final card here is Fortune. It's a beautiful card. It looks like it's the inside of an amethyst crystal with a big golden wheel of fortune and all this golden starlight. This is your path. You will find Fortune as a writer. That book, I bet you you're going to get it published. You know, so if something doesn't go your way, like you don't get the fellowship, maybe you think you have a publishing lead and it falls through — seriously, it's going to hurt your feelings. And that's OK, right? You're an emotional creature. We all are. Have your day to cry about it and then get back up on the horse and apply to another fellowship and try another lead about getting your book published. Because you are a writer, this is your path. You will find success in it. And I'm sorry that there's just some bumps coming up before - before the glory, you know? But that's so common, don't you think? All right. Good luck to you. 

And let's see who's here. Max Zemo, can I help you? 

Max: Hi. Yeah, I'm calling about being a tarot reader. 

Michelle Tea: Oh, cool! 

Max: Yeah. In general, I'm a Buddha fanatic. And I've been doing that for a long time. But I'm also like an American, nonbinary, gender nonconforming person. I have a whole, like, history in this culture to find a way to like combine them and also to kind of like get in touch with my intuition. But I guess on the flip side, I have like a little bit of a superstition about tarot. Like, if I read it, can I even, like, interpret it correctly? Like, maybe I don't trust my intuition? Or maybe I, I don't have the lineage to really interpret it correctly, like I'm trying to get through it from books and stuff. 

Michelle Tea: Oh yeah. OK, so I'm going to pick some to shuffle. I'm going to ask, "What does it look like for you to pursue this, this tarot desire that you have?" What does that look like? And I just want to say, I mean, I think probably most people come to tarot not from their lineage. I mean, I think most people come to tarot and teach themselves via books and stuff like that. I mean, that's how I did it. And everyone I know who read tarot, there's a few people who were lucky enough to have like a witchy mother or something. But - but most people, you know, they figure it out on their own. So don't let that stop you. Don't let that stop anyone. Let me see. What does this look like? 

Oh, yeah. This looks good for you. But you know something? The — the trepidation that you have is real. So, you know, I'm — I'm here being like, "Oh, don't worry about that," you know? But — but — but it's real for you. And so I just want to, like, honor that. 

Michelle Tea: The first card that came up for you is Adjustment. So these are — that's the Justice card. So it's almost a question of right or wrong. Like, do you have the right to this tradition, right? Or are you bad for doing this tradition? Or are you going to be judged or something like that? So it's almost like you need to sort that out internally, right? And give yourself permission to - to explore this tradition. I mean, I really you know, there's the idea that there are open spiritual traditions and there are closed spiritual traditions, right? Closed spiritual traditions, you know, they're like really cultural and you might not have you know, I mean, I'm thinking really about like white people who want to get in on traditions that are primarily for people of color — like those might be closed traditions. But tarot, especially at this time and place, it's an open tradition. There are so many artists that are cranking out new decks. They have their Kickstarters and GoFundMe's up, you know, to — to raise money for them. I mean, I have — I literally have, like a Charlie Brown Snoopy tarot deck. You know, there's all kinds of decks, so it's not that precious. It can become precious to us individually, but it's really it's an open tradition, so — but you've got to figure that out, you have to accept that deeply on your own. And I see with the Adjustment card, that that's a process for you. 

The card that's after that is the Four of Wands, and it's called Completion. And it's Venus in Aries. And I see that as you coming to a place where you're like, "I honor my" — I mean, Aries are really self-centered. And the Aries sign give — that's the gift of Aries like it gives us the ability to center ourselves right? And validate and honor our desires and our paths. So Venus in Aries, it's sort of like, "Guess what, I am drawn to this tradition. It brings me pleasure, Venus. I think it's beautiful, Venus. You know, I'm going to allow myself the pleasure of indulging this." And with the Four of Wands, it means that you've got a good sort of stable ground to stand on. So I see that coming out of the - the Adjustment card where have to kind of find your balance. 

You find your balance, you're like over that, and then your last part is Dominion. Two of Wands. It's awesome. It's like full speed ahead. Yes. Like this is your path. Mars in Aries, again, another Aries. So it's really about you empowering yourself and giving yourself permission. And it looks like you do have to work that out intellectually. The Adjustment card is Libra, it's air. But, you know, if you find that you're overthinking it, just try to tune into your will, you know? Your heart's desire. That's what - that's what is really going to break through the over-intellectualizing and be like,"You know something? It's — my aim is true. My desire is pure. I'm going to do this thing. This is my path." Does that makes sense? 

Max: Yeah. Well, I wonder if I'm worried about being  judged by... 

Michelle Tea: Does that make sense for you? 

Max: It does, yeah. I'm just wondering about being judged by my Budha Songa for doing something like non-Buddhist, I guess. Would that make sense too? With the Judgement?

Michelle Tea: I mean like it's really — a judge-y Buddhist? What? Isn't that's so not Buddhist to be so judging? But — it's really funny — but everyone are human beings, including Buddhists, right? I just picked a card for that and it's The Empress, OK? So it looks to me like, you know, you will be treated gently and your spiritual desires and interests will be nurtured is what I'm thinking. I don't think you need to worry about that. Yeah. 

Max: Awesome, thank you Michelle. 

Michelle Tea: You're so welcome.

Max: I remember you from a long time ago, Sister Spit and all that, so it's good to see you still out there. 

Michelle Tea: Oh, thank you very much. That's awesome. OK, good luck with your Buddhist tarot path and let me like... what else do we got her? oK, here's someone who wants to remain anonymous: "Can I get a read on my love life? Currently going through a breakup and in the middle of wanting my partner back, I ended things.". 

Gosh, OK, so I'm going to see, what does it look like if you go back to that partner? What if you make a play for your ex and be like, you know, something — I'm haunted. I'm haunted. I made a mistake. Come back to me. What does that look like? Is that your truth? Right? Is that your truth? So gonna pick three cards on that. One, two, three, OK, and now I'm gonna pick three cards on like, "Can you wait out this wanting my partner back a moment?" Because I don't know about you, but every time I'm going through, like, a breakup, I really do go through a moment where I'm just like, "Wait, I've made a terrible mistake! Come back!" Even though, like, you're like, "Thankfully they didn't come back." Because it's really good to, you know, stick with the breakup, you know, but it can just get scary. You get lonely, you have self-doubt. You're a human being. So what does it look like you just to sit this out and stay committed to your original vision of being out of this relationship? 

OK, so you chase them down and then what? What happens? Oh, it's kind of good, actually, but what if you stick with you — oh, gosh. OK, all right. Yeah. You do want this person back. The very first card that came up is the Ten of Cups. And it was like — I'm reading that as like cups are an emotional cycle. The ten is the end. Like you're on some sort of an emotional trip, clearly, right? Like something was up for you emotionally that caused you to want to end this. But right after that is The Magician. And so you're like, "Oh, God, you know, like that's not what I needed. I actually need to go back and, like, bond with this person, create with this person, have the magic with this person.". 

And then your next card is the Ace of Wands, which is a new beginning. So, yeah, I say you really do — it is your truth that you want to be with this person. 

Now, if you kind of try to sit out the breakup: Nine of Swords, Cruelty. Hard card. Eight of Swords, Interference. Another hard card. And then you get the Art card. So listen, like, you'll be OK. It's not like if you guys don't get together, you're just going to be like wasting - wasting away for the rest of your life, pining away. You're going to snap out of it if you need to. But it doesn't look like — it looks like your truth really is to try to get this person back, OK? And I just want to tell you, if for some reason you can't, it's going to suck. But then it's going to be fine. You're going to figure it out. You're going to come to a place of balance and you will love again quite profoundly, I would say, with that Art card. That's a marriage card. 

So. So, yeah, that's what I say for you. It does look like, to me, like that is your truth. Calling them like I'm seeing them here. OK, who do we got next up here? Catherine Marie, you're back. Hello. 

Catherine: Can you hear me? 

Michelle Tea: Yes, I can hear you. 

Catherine: I don't know what happened last time. Thank you so much, Michelle. 

Michelle Tea: Oh, you're welcome. 

Catherine: So I have a situation with my father. 

Michelle Tea: OK. 

Catherine: And it's a little dramatic for the people involved. And I'm trying to figure out if I need to go where he is to handle and manage some things or how long — if this is going to be a long-term thing that I may be doing or maybe I should not even get involved deeper. I don't know. 

Michelle Tea: OK, alright. I'm sorry. That sounds heavy. I'm sorry. You kind of your sound got a little funny there. I am going to shuffle right now. Saying, what does it look like if you go towards like, "OK, I'm going into this, I'm taking responsibility, I'm going out to my dad. I'm going to be there. I'm going to take on whatever role is necessary for me." So that kind of like, "Alright, I'm in. I'm doing it." And of course, you know, I don't know anything about what the situation is, but I hope that you're, you know, taking care of yourself and having boundaries. But let's see. Let's see what it looks like to go there. And then I'm going to pick three cards. What if you're like, you know, "I'm not going to do that. I'm going to let, I don't know, maybe let somebody else step in, like, let your father figure it out" as we sometimes need to let adults figure their lives out even when they're people who are close to us and it can be painful to watch them flounder. What does it look like for you to be like, "You know, my boundary is I'm actually not getting involved in this particular moment, in this situation." So we'll see what that looks like. 

All right. So going for it. Going forward looks good. You can do it. You can definitely do it. And not going for it — it looks better to do it. It looks better to do it. It does. It does. Your middle card here is The Star for going and helping. The Star's beautiful. The Star is like, you know, it's like if you go it's like the best part of you is is going, you know what I mean? The best part of you, the most idealistic part of you is going to bring like your light and your help to another person. It's like you're being a service to your father. And if you could almost think of it like that, I mean, we all have so much baggage with our family, with parents, so I can't imagine what - what sort of dynamics and baggage might be at play. But it's almost like if you detach from the idea that he's your father and you see like you're being a service to another human. There might be something really beautiful in that. It does look like you have the — you have two disk cards on either side of The Star, the Eight of Disks, Sun in Virgo, Prudence. And the Four of Disks, Sun in Capricorn, Power. 

So it looks like you really have the skills to take care of whatever this is. Like, you can handle it. And it makes sense that it's you going because like, I don't know. I don't know what kind of like bureaucracy superpowers you might have, but you might have them. But at the same time, both of these cards do speak to self-protection a little bit. So the Prudence card, the illustration are these beautiful flowers that have leaves curved around them and it's about protecting what is precious, which is you and your energy. And also same with the Power card. It's a - it's a fortress, you know. So it's like while you're being The Star, while you're going and giving of yourself, also make sure that maybe it's something you want to figure out before you jump into the situation. What can you do to protect yourself. 

If you don't go, it's just sort of like. It's like the Princess of Disks, you know, she's been through a lot. And I think maybe that's you recognizing, like, you know, "I've already been through a lot. I'm not going I'm going to take care of myself right now," which is great. And then there's the Work card. And that's interesting because it almost seems like not going is - is a harder job because I don't know if you're just going to be not being able to let go of it or if you're going to be contacted a lot. Like you're still going to feel involved, but you won't be able to actually help in a funny way and it won't and it won't be meaningful for you. Like there might be something meaningful almost on a spiritual level if you can go and help out your dad. 

The last part for not going is Truce, which means like at the end of the day, if you don't go, you're going to be okay. Like you're going to feel OK about it. But it just looks like a much nicer, stronger, more meaningful read to actually go. Does that makes sense? 

Catherine: Yeah. 

Michelle Tea: OK, I sure hope I didn't just advise into the Mall of Hell or anything. I hope - I hope it's an OK situation for you. 

Catherine: No, there's other family members and past history and other things. So I'll be fine. 

Michelle Tea: All right. Good, good. I love that. Thank you for trusting me with your problem. 

Catherine: Absolutely, bye bye. 

Michelle Tea: Bye bye. All right, you guys it's six o'clock and I've got one more. I got one more! And I'm going to read it, OK: "I was hoping you could pull cards for me as I'm a novice in my practice. I'm a twenty-four-year-old Pisces, one month sober, just recently started medication and therapy to treat my depression." You're winning on all fronts. I love this so much. "To treat my depression, anxiety and PTSD." OK, there's a lot. "I feel stuck in my office job that pays the bills, but I'm passionate about painting and I'm an aspiring writer. If possible, could you please pull cards about what devoting my time to my artistic dreams will provide versus continuing the monotonous office life?"

Alright, alright. Well, I love the path that you're on. This is really beautiful. And you're a Pisces. Like Pisces are the most creative... here. Let me do some astrological generalizing. That's what it's there for. Pisces are so creative. They're the most creative sign of the Zodiac. I happen to have a lot of visual artist Pisces friends, and it's impressive. So what does it look like for you to channel all of — to start channeling more energy and really taking that seriously? I mean, I can't imagine that just like versus continuing the monotonous office life, like obviously that's a bad idea, right? But what does it look like right now? What does it look like for you to, like, start taking art more seriously and providing more space for it in your life? What does it look like? 

OK, all right. So you know the theme of the night, it looks complicated. The first card that comes up for you is the Ten of Disks, Wealth. Whoa, that's really cool. OK, so that is telling me that, like, there's a richness here for you. Like, does that richness actually, like leap over into the material world where you could actually maybe make some money doing this? Like I would say, it's not outrageous, OK? But then you get the Five of Cups, which is Disappointment. And then you get my old friend, The Devil. So we're getting a complicated story here. OK, I think that it's a no-brainer that if you're a creative person, you've got to give energy to your creativity. Like, that's just... I mean, I know that you want advice from the tarot and not from me, but that's just like I just believe that down to my core, OK? 

Now, but the question that seems like kind of tucked into the question is sort of like, "Can I do this instead of my monotonous office life?" And the answer to that might be right now: not yet, OK? Because I see the Wealth card as very exciting and it's just like, "Yes, like you're really —" my guess is that the Wealth card is saying, like, "You're - you're talented, like your art is good." And you can probably get a sense that, like there's a future in this for you and I would say that you're right. But when the Disappointment card comes up, it means expectations are off. That's the problem. That's the root of the Disappointment card. So it makes me wonder, like, OK, yes, like there's this is what you should be doing. There is definitely like future material rewards here for you. But so - so - but there's Disappointment coming. So what is that? 

And then there's The Devil. So The Devil is so interesting. He means so many different things. He is a card that is really — shifts his meaning in relationship to the question and the cards around him. I really like The Devil, but sometimes he's a hard card to get. I think The Devil — and you just think, what's your demon? What's the demon in this situation? So what is your demon here? Is this going to — what happens when you're disappointed? What do you turn to? Like I'm seeing here that you're right at the beginning. You're one month sober, you're recently on medication and therapy. You're really at the beginning of a really serious healing journey. So is this something that like, are you going to put all your eggs in this basket and then it doesn't go through to you and you're going to feel terrible? Like, "Oh, no, what am I doing?" Like, you've got to guard against that, OK? Like make The Devil your friend. The Devil is also a very creative and artistic card and can be a card that represents that desire, the pure desire to create. Not to create for money or fame or any of those things, but to create because we are creative people and inspiration runs through us and we've got to do it. 

So what I'm saying from all of this is that even though you might at some point find that you can actually make your living not in your monotonous office life, but in a creative sphere, it might be a little too soon to put all your eggs in that basket and to go for it. And if you do, if you do set expectations too high, you might really feel the bump when - when they fall, right? You might - you might get hit by them. But The Devil I feel like is your creativity. And in as much as you might use those demons of your personal life in your art, I think that's probably a really good thing, too. But I hope that that's helpful. You know, it looks like the monotonous office life and the artistic life might need to be hand in hand for a little bit, but not forever. So and you're just twenty-four, which you probably feel like you're a million years old. I did when I was twenty-four. But now that I'm 50, I'm here to tell you: you're very young. So get started now and who knows, by the time you're 30 you can have a best seller, right? 

OK, you guys, this is the end of Ask the Tarot. I'll be back next week. I'm actually not sure what days I'm traveling, but I'm going to be here because it's my favorite thing to do. And in the meantime, go to Spotify, subscribe to Your Magic. It's my other podcast and we're dropping a new episode every week of me talking to artists that we love, offering spells for you guys to do at home, so. It's a great podcast and thank you so much for tuning in, trusting me with your problems. I'm sorry for everyone I didn't get to. I've got a whole bunch from my DMs that I didn't get to either. But I'm going to just keep chugging through them every week. So - so hopefully everybody can get a little bit of tarot wisdom and have a good evening.