Alicia Garza: Speak Your Dreams Out Loud

A home can be a spiritual place. For Black Lives Matter co-founder Alicia Garza, her Oakland rental is a magical entity. She asks the tarot if she can become the home’s owner and ultimate caretaker. Then, punk author Brontez Purnell offers up a spell for ridding yourself of a bad roommate.

 

Alicia Garza: There's so much similarities between both the migration of people, but also the connections between communities across the world and our desire to make sense of our world, our desire to be connected to something bigger than ourselves and our desire to cultivate a faith in things unseen and unknown but that we feel.


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Michelle Tea: This is Your Magic! I’m Michelle Tea.

Today on the podcast I’m doing tarot for Alicia Garza, co-founder of the Black Lives Matter movement and author of The Purpose of Power: How We Come Together When We Fall Apart. Her Oakland home is a magical entity and we’re going to look at her desire to be its caretaker.

After that we’re visiting with Brontez Purnell, pagan author of the collection 100 Boyfriends and longtime denizen of punk houses. He has some real advice on how to charm a bad roommate right out the door.

Stay with us.


[Music]


Michelle Tea: I love the house that I rent. It’s the best place I’ve ever lived. It’s a two-story craftsman in a neighborhood that is greenly suburban yet blocks away from coffee shops, nail salons, and a thrift store — very important. We found it on the heels of an owner-move-in-eviction that was perpetrated by some duplicitous houselippers and we nearly left with gratitude when the property managers offered it to us. I’m saying “us” and “we” because I was married when I moved into this place. Nine months later, my marriage fell apart, my spouse took off, and I’m left alone in my beautiful dream house. The vibes, which had previously felt breezy and bountiful, suddenly felt heavy and lonely — sometimes even cosmically creepy, like if I looked out the window, I would see not the luscious California landscape but the infinite void of deep space.

Part of healing my house’s energy was healing my own. And a lot of that work happened in front of my altar, herbs and resins smoking in my cauldron, a procession of candles, and tears, and intentions. I picked a lot of tarot cards, I did breathwork, I meditated. Ever, a Lucumi initiate with big, beautiful magic, made a baño for me, and with handfuls of leaves, I scrubbed the past from my skin and then I sat in this milky bathtub of flowers and I let my crunchy heart rehydrate. It opened me to let someone special in, and my bedroom became a wilderness of new sex vibes — thanks, Ever.

I moved my mom into the downstairs bedroom. And without even knowing it, she renewed the space. She cast out the energetic residue of my despair and filled it with this joyful grandma spirit. When my divorce became official last month, I texted Ever again and I asked if she’d help me with a final clearing of my home. The limpias she made arrived in giant recycled water bottles, amber-colored and faintly sweet. Slowly, I’m shifting the energy of this gorgeous house. I’m feeling our mutual bond grow. I’m purifying the space with the help of Ever’s ancestral magic, burning the copal she passed to me from her family’s ranch in Mexico. When I’m eventually done I’ll outline my doorways with chalky chunks of pulverized cascarilla, which will repel negativity. The place already feels so pretty.

Not only do I believe in the literal power of Ever’s traditions, in her own power as a practitioner, and the power of nature to clean an aspect of my home that’s not visible to naked eyes. I also believe in the power of ritual — any ritual — to mark a profound moment and kickstart a new cycle. What better place to focus such mystical intentions than our homes, a living entity in its own right and the space where our lives are lived, our dreams are shaped, and our futures are manifested.

Now let's go pick some tarot cards for Alicia Garza.


[Music]

Michelle Tea: Hi, Alicia Garza, thank you so much for being on Your Magic.

Alicia Garza: Oh, thank you so much for having me. 

Michelle Tea: So, you know, Your Magic. We're about magic and spirituality. I'm wondering, do you have a spiritual practice? And if so, you know, what is it? What does it look like and feel like?

Alicia Garza: I do. I practice Ifa and it is a West African spiritual tradition. And my practice looks a whole bunch of ways, but mostly I just try to focus on being consistent. 

Michelle Tea: That's the hardest part.

Alicia Garza: Exactly. I love that we're having this conversation because for so many people, you know, their spiritual practice is very personal to them. And that's true for me as well. And I also think a lot about the ways in which so many of our traditions outside of, like traditional Christianity get really bastardized or demonized in strange ways. But for people who are, you know, students of not just history, but of the lineages of religions, you know Ifa can be considered one of the Big Five, I think it is. And they're all super connected. I mean, there's so much similarities between both the migration of people, but also the connections between communities across the world and our desire to make sense of our world, our desire to be connected to something bigger than ourselves and our desire to cultivate a faith in things unseen and unknown but that we feel.

My spiritual practice has gotten me through the worst of times and also the best of times, right? I mean, so much about my practice reminds me to be present and to be focused in the midst of chaos. And let me tell you how helpful of a tool that is over the last decade. 

Also, to be patient, there's a big thing in my tradition about having a cool head, which is essentially about not acting rash. And also about being a person with integrity. And so there's a big focus on how you be in the world. Even when people be kind of shitty to you. You have control over how you interact and engage with those dynamics. So I think that has been a big influence for me over the last few years. I also think that one of the things I really appreciate about my tradition is the encouragement to speak your dreams out loud. And when I do my prayers, you know, I've been taught that your prayers happen out loud for a lot of people, prayers happen quietly inside your head. Right? 

For me, I am supposed to speak my wishes out loud. I am supposed to kind of give breath to the things that I'm grateful for, the things that I want to rectify, right? One of my favorite lines in one of my prayers is, you know, to forgive others, right? For doing the things that are wack.Right? And yeah, every time I come to that piece at my prayers, I'm like, oh, oh yeah. OK, so let me cultivate that. Right. Because we have a lot we can hang on to about the ways in which we perceive we've been done wrong. But there is something about also saying, you know, I want to be forgiven. Right. For the things that I'm doing in the world that are not beneficial. And I also want to forgive others for the things that they bring into my world that are not beneficial. 

And as a part of that, I also be talking about how I want to forgive myself, right? For ways I haven't shown up for me, and then to speak out in out loud the things that you long for. And that's always the hardest part for me. I'm like, you know, it's like being a woman, being queer, all the things—being black— people like... You're not supposed to speak that stuff out loud, you know, be quiet. And so when I come to that part of my prayers, I'm always like whispering. But I have to tell myself, no, girl, give it breath. Say it out loud. What is it that you want? Where do you want to be? And then to ask for help and surrender, which is a whole thing. So it is the thing that has kept me going and keeps me grounded.

Michelle Tea: It’s epic! It’s beautiful and I really get what you're saying about like asking how it's there's it's it feels almost taboo in a spiritual context to ask for things.

 For me, all of my healing around spirituality, a lot of it was being like, no, but I do want things, you know? Like I want stuff. I want, like cute shoes. And I want, like, you know what, I and I want to be free and to heal, you know, it's like I want all the thing and I think it's so liberating to be able to see, I don't know, just the abundant world of — we live in the material world just like body, mind, spirit, like to feel so liberated to be able to ask for all the things you know?

Alicia Garza: Oh, yeah, sure. And so much of what we want materially is related to things that we want spiritually and emotionally. And, you know, in my practice, sure, I can definitely be like, you know, I really need a new car. But often, right. It's like I need stability in my life. I need to be able to be mobile. I need to be able to advance my career, those kinds of things. And so in my practice I do, I try to drill it down to, you know, the things that I need, not necessarily materially, although, you know, yeah, sometimes I'm like, I have this massive tax bill and I need to pay it. And I don't know how that's going to happen. And I need help, you know, or, you know, I need to advance in this way and I need somebody to walk with me.

Michelle Tea: I'm going to pick tarot cards for you today, which I'm so psyched about. And I know that one of the questions you have is about having a home.

Alicia Garza: It is, yeah. It’s been the thing that’s been on my mind for the last year. I think turning 40, you know, I mean, everybody is like, oh, this is a big milestone. It totally is.

Michelle Tea: It is.

Alicia Garza: And one of the things that I've been really focused on over the last like five years, it's just like getting my shit together. So, you know, paying off debt and, you know, getting out of the stupid things you do in your 30s and in your 20s — which extend into your 30s where you’re like, oh, I knew I should have done something about that a long time ago but I didn't. And now, you know, my partner and I are kind of moving into a place where we want to build a family and we're ready to kind of put down roots. And we're in a home that's so beautiful that we moved into a few years ago after living in a one bedroom apartment for 14 years together. 

 So finally, right, I had outdoor space and we could entertain and, you know, a full kitchen and, you know, people could stay over. And it wasn't just on the couch like things like that.

Michelle Tea: Does home have like a spiritual aspect to you? 

Alicia Garza Definitely, and this home in particular, and when we first moved in this house, it's a historical landmark and it is a place where, you know, many Black families have lived. It has changed character over time. I hear at one point this was like a trap house and it is not a trap house anymore. 

But when we moved in, I definitely felt that people had lived here and had loved it. And we, when we moved in, kind of had to give some offerings to who was here before.

And, you know, my partner and I both, you know, would kind of say, yeah, I think I think whatever energy is in this house is trying to figure us out and trying to figure out if we're going to be good stewards or if we're going to mess it up. And we've, we've definitely fallen in love with this house. And I think this house has fallen in love with us, if I'm being fully honest. So, yeah, it does have a spiritual element. It is also where I practice. So, you know, again, because this isn't my home, it's like where I have set up my space still feels like temporary in a way. And I would love to just root and really build out the place where I practice. 

Michelle Tea: Do you have any fears around becoming a homeowner? 

Alicia Garza: Just that we won't be able to. I mean honestly, I’m like… the idea of being a renter at these prices [laughs] for the rest of my life, it's not appealing.

I think, you know, the other dynamic that's just kind of real in this is that… I’ll just say it. This house is owned by somebody who I think also loves it and no longer lives in the area. And for me personally, I feel like they take a lot of shortcuts in terms of maintaining the house. And it's a beautiful home. And I always kind of feel like they're trying to do the cheapest thing possible to like address the most immediate. And at this point, it's time for somebody to really invest in it.

Michelle Tea: You are a Capricorn. 

Alicia Garza: Totally, thank you for feeling me on this! My partner's a Capricorn too. 

Michelle Tea: You are in a same-Zodiac relationship!

Alicia Garza: Oh yeah.

Michelle Tea: And yeah. Oh my God. Everything you just said was spoken like a true Capricorn. Like, don’t cut corners. 

Alicia Garza: Just do it right the first time, yeah! 

Michelle Tea: Especially with something that is so earthy as a home, so important. 

Alicia Garza: Exactly. And so historical. I mean, yeah, I feel like the energy in this house are like, why do you keep doing this? I mean. Why?

Michelle Tea: I was also wondering, I know you got your start in activism, dealing with housing and gentrification in Bayview Hunters Point and you're in the Bay Area still. Bayview Hunters Point, of course, being, you know, a very African-American neighborhood that's been so disregarded by the city and then gentrified. And I'm wondering how this activism has also sort of influenced you as somebody who's looking at becoming a homeowner and wanting to put down these kind of roots. 

Alicia Garza: Yeah, well, I mean, look, just recently we had an experience where somebody kind of came by the house, taking photos of the house. We have a lot of people who come and are wanting to know who the homeowner is and are we the homeowners and, you know, are we interested in selling and that kind of thing.  

Michelle Tea: Oh, that's so invasive. 

Alicia Garza: It's so invasive. It's so annoying. And they're aggressive. And it just reminds me how important home is and how many people don't have access to home. And if I didn't have the experience that I have in advocating for people like me who are at the whim of their landlords, we would have a very different situation here. And I think about all of the homes that have been taken from people who were unsuspecting, who were trusting, who were looking for help, and somebody offered it. And it turned out to be the worst thing possible. And I also think about all the people who, you know, are scared to speak up to their landlords because they're worried that advocating for themselves will mean they get pushed out. I'm also aware that, you know, in my particular community, there's lots of new construction that's happening. And, you know, on my street, most of our neighbors, we all talk and know each other. Lots of the people here have been here much longer than me. And I was just having a conversation with my neighbor and they were saying that there were some condos being built on the corner and, you know, some affordable housing being built down the street.  

Michelle Tea: Yeah. 

Alicia Garza: There's some neighbors — that are new — who have been kind of passing out some fliers about, you know, how parking is going to be impacted and all these things. And, you know, having the background I do, I'm always like, do I get involved in this in the sense of, like, cussing these people out and being like, hey, what? You know? Like you're not worried about the people who are moving in and making sure that they have access to this housing and parking, right? You're worried about your—you're fine. You're absolutely fine. You're not— it's fine. OK, it's going to be inconvenient for you for a little bit, but you're fine, actually. 

And don't bring don't kill trees bringing paper to my house. I've never had a conversation with you or met you, but you have the nerve to leave a flier at my house about challenging affordable housing in this housing market. Fuck you. You know, that's exactly how I feel, so.

Michelle Tea: Yeah, it's the Bay Area! Like, you're — sorry you're a monster. Like you're actually a monster.

Alicia Garza: There's also a piece of me that feels like. You know, I sometimes wonder whether or not to get involved, because I'm like, I don't know how long I'm going to be here. So I could be raising a whole big funk about a thing and then have a moving truck outside soon. So I'm just, again, that stability thing, I'm like, well, am I going to be here for a while? Am I going to put roots down? And if I do, should I organize my other neighbors that you're not talking to? You know, I just. 

Michelle Tea: Yeah. It's like, do you become a caretaker not only of your home, but of your neighborhood and your community? 

Alicia Garza: That's right.  


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Michelle Tea: OK, well, I'm going to shuffle now. So the first thing I'm going to do is I'm going to pick three cards on what does it look like for you and your partner to really move steadily and intentionally towards owning the home that you live in, that you've bonded with so, so much and that loves you. And like, what does that look like?

And now I'm going to shuffle saying, is there another home which might feel a little disappointing or unfathomable right now, since it sounds like your connection to the home you live in is so strong, but is there, in fact, your home? Is it elsewhere? And what would it look like for you and your partner to look elsewhere for a home that you guys can put roots down in? 

Alright, so the cards for the home that you're presently living in. The Empress is the first card, OK? The second card is Completion, it's the Four of Wands and it's called Completion. It's about the — it's not about — it's interesting that it's named Completion because it's not about the completion of an entire cycle, but almost the completion of the first segment of a cycle. It's a four. So it's about gaining some stability. It's Venus in Aries. And then you have the Prince of Wands, which is a really beautiful card about — it's Leo — so it's about creativity, romance, sex, play, art, children. Woah, you have that Empress card, Alicia.

 All right. All right, all right. I don't want to talk too much about it till I see the alternative. So what would it look like for you and your partner to look elsewhere? You have the Gain card. It's an earth card, Nine of Disks. It's Venus in Virgo. You have the Hermit, which is another Virgo card and you have the Four of Cups, which is Luxury. This is very interesting. You have a four in each reading. You have a Venus card in each reading. And yeah, you definitely want to get that house that you're sitting in right now. That's your house. 

I mean, ahhh, I love seeing the Empress come up, knowing that you're thinking of starting a family. Of course, the Empress is the big mom card in the Zodiac. It is about that mom energy and that mom love and it's about love. And it's also just about being a caretaker. And so much of what you've talked about, it's how much you want to caretake this home that you — you're this home's mother! Like you see it being treated poorly and it's killing you. And you want to get in there and do it right and do right by this home and its history and its energies and, you know, very likely its spirit. So, oh, this is so powerful. I love it. And then again, this Four of Wands, Completion. I really like it. You know, I wanted to hold back and see what that final card was before I went full force with it. 

So the minor arcana of the tarot and I'm talking to the audience also and folks who might be learning tarot, you go one through ten, one through ten. So when you hit a four, you've reached some stability. You're like, OK, all right. you know, tables have four legs, chairs have four legs. You can sit down, you can ground and you can trust that you're stable. 

And it's interesting that you just celebrated four decades, right? You just turned 40. Is that right? And you want to do this. So it's like, you know, there's like, OK, I'm ready for this now. I've you know, I've completed some cycles of living and I've hit a point of stability. And, you know, Venus, you know, we're carrying on with this Venus energy because The Empress is ruled by Venus. She kind of is Venus energy, love and beauty. And now we have Venus in Aries and Aries is that sign of "let's go, let's do something new." Let's take this Venus energy of love and beauty and nurturing and like blast off into the next, you know, level of it.

And that continues onward with this Prince of Wands, which is, you know, just this beautiful it's the best iteration of Leo. I love Leo, I am a Leo Rising, so I’m partial. This is a card that really exemplifies Leo at its best, creative, gregarious, giving, generous, you know, wanting attention but worthy of attention. And it rules children, you know, which again, is a theme and that's sort of baked into this desire for home for you.

So I love this. This looks like a very worthy way for you to... This looks like a worthy path for you. This looks like very beautiful. And you know, just to look at this other one, you know, looking elsewhere for a home, the Eight of Disks is called gain, and it is about an increase of resources. So initially, I'm like, OK, that's good. 

And then the Hermit card, I don't know... like it's Virgo, it's Earth. So, OK, you know, he's got a cave. He lives in his cave. That's a home, I guess. 

But you're talking about you know, I have to do a little compare and contrast. And when we see the beautiful sort of bound promise of bounty and parenthood and nurturing love of the Empress, which is so giving, and then The Hermit is a little bit more about kind of withdrawing and taking your energy inward. It's just not the energy we want to see for a home, building a family, that kind of thing. 

And then, you know. The four that you got, this Four of Wands for getting… for, you know, buying the home that you're living in, that you're in love with, is such a different vibe than this four. The Four of Cups, you know, it's again, we're talking a little bit about this… OK, You've gotten some stability. It's a four, but fours in the suit of water is less stable. You can see iin the drawing, this painting, the water that the cups sit on is very choppy. So it's sort of like it's talking about ups and downs. And I don't know, I just don't want to see that for a housing pull. So I'm so happy because just hearing you, I have fallen in love with the story of your love for your home. And I really wanted a go-ahead pull for you for that. And it really looks like. Yes, that this is your home. I don't know what the next step is to convince this landlord of yours that you are the the rightful empress of the - of the home he happens to own. It's actually yours. So how are you going to make that? Right. But, yeah, that looks really beautiful for you guys.

Alicia Garza: Okay, well, we got to figure out what we got to do to get this landlord to give up the goods.

Michelle Tea: Yeah, you do. It just seems insane Alicia, that you just can’t have anything you want. I just feel like — you know, just give Alicia what she wants. Just give her what she wants, give her this house.

So, you know, the Empress just that big, powerful femme, you know, energy. That's your that's the big vibe that you have with your house. That's your house. That's your connection. So and then fire this beautiful — I know your earth, but it's like you got this Aries and Leo. Venus and Fire. 

Alicia Garza: Well, well that makes a lot of sense because actually I am a Capricorn but I'm Sag rising and a Sag moon as well. 

Michelle Tea: Okay good. It makes sense that You have that fire bookend with all of the work that you've done. It's like you really need fire to get out there in the streets. And then you got that Capricorn to kind of make it solid.

Alicia Garza: Oh yeah. Oh yeah. We got to keep that fire directed in the right way because. A fire can burn or it can light the way.


[Music]


Brontez Purnell: Hi, my name is Brontez Purnell. I am a writer, musician, and I do a host of other things to pay the rent. I'm also a contemporary pagan and here are some things you can do to get rid of a shitty roommate. 

One, don't pay rent. That's the ultimate spell. 

Two. You can take a cloth bag and fill it with yellow cornmeal. Then get a needle and thread and just think about the person and sell through the bag aimlessly hours upon hours if you need to. Maybe there's a whole week where you say from seven to nine on these three days, I'm just going to sew through this goddamn bag and think about them. But you jsut kinda concentrate on it.  You know what I mean?

A focused concentration on it is something that kind of like, you know, it makes the subject benign in our mind. You know, we keep thinking about it you know, like how you, like, lift weights or something. You eventually become acclimated to it and it doesn't have that type of power. It’s something like running on a treadmill to wear yourself out. 

Two or three. Am I on two or three? Whatever. You can collect their hair from the shower drain and put it in a bottle and freeze it and keep it in the freezer. Keep it there for months and if they ask what it is, just pretend you don't know what they're talking about. 

Three, it's nice to keep some form of blue by the door. Why the blue no one’s ever really explained to me, you know but blue bottle with water in it by the window, or you can just take tape like that masking tape for painting and just literally put it on your bedroom door. 

Four, take crushed red pepper and put it in tinfoil and keep it by the door sill. This is supposed to keep evil spirits out or if there is an evil spirit in the house, it will disturb them and make them want to go out. 


[Music]


Michelle Tea: Oh, man. Bad roommates are the worst. I know, I’ve had them and I’ve been them. Have you ever interviewed for a room and had the primary tenant tell you straight up, “We don’t clean?” That was me, circa 1996. I don’t know what was worse, my slovenly habits or my bad attitude. I also don’t know what left more of a mark on the home itself? I mean, I’m sure someone washed my bedroom floor after I left, but what about the bad vibes I left everywhere?


[Music]


Michelle Tea: Our homes aren’t just buildings — they are entities, partners in domesticity, collectors and facilitators of energy and vibes. Magic encourages us to see the whole world around us as alive and enchanted, and this really resonates when regarding our own dwellings. I feel like my house is part pet, part guardian, and I’m feeling a deeper respect for and a real determination to keep connecting with it a lot of intention. I hope you’re also feeling inspired to engage more mindfully with wherever you lay your head tonight. 

[Music]

Michelle Tea: Thanks for tuning into Your Magic.  Make sure you follow us on Twitter and Instagram @thisisyourmagic. Subscribe to us here on Spotify — just do what you need to to never miss an episode. You can also sign up for our newsletter at thisisyourmagic.com and get more musings from our team of spiritual seekers. And you can email us at hello@thisisyourmagic.com, we love hearing from you.

This episode was produced and edited by Molly Elizalde, Tony Gannon, and Vera Blossom. We got production support from Veronica Agard, Kristine Mar, and Raven Yamamoto. Our executive producers are Ben Cooley, myself, and Molly Elizalde. Our original theme music is by John Kimbrough.

Tune in next week for a conversation with Tavi Gevinson. Thanks for listening!