Ask The Tarot: My Best Friend Died — What Do I Live For Now?

This is a recording of our Spotify Live show from June 23, 2022. Tune in on Spotify every Thursday at 6 PM PT/9 PM ET to catch Michelle Tea’s tarot readings. Or listen on the Spotify Live app where you can join the chat — you’ll even have a chance to ask the tarot what’s on your mind.

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This transcript is AI-generated and may not be 100% perfect. If you notice something wrong, just email hello@thisisyourmagic.com

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Michelle Tea: Hey, everyone. So thank you so much for tuning in. I am wondering, did you know that you can now join ask the Tarot every Thursday at 9 p.m. Eastern live on Spotify. That's right, lines. But we all know the best part of tarot isn't just listening. It's getting your own cards read. Have a question about your future or your past, maybe about your love life or your career. I want to hear from you. All you have to do is download the Spotify Live app in your app store or click the link in our episode descriptions to sign up for free. Then follow ask the Tarot and the Spotify Live app to get notified every time I go live and hear what the tarot has in store. Why miss out on that?

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Michelle Tea: Hello. Ask the tarot room. It is. I'm Michel Tea, your host and tarot reader for the evening. And yes. Happy crab season. Happy cancer season. Happy. Day after solstice. I hope everyone is feeling groovy. I'm here to read tarot cards. Welcome. If you are. You and I have never been here before. Or maybe you've been here before. But you remain confused. It happens. This is how it works. If you'd like me to pick cards for you, just raise your hand right here in the room, okay? And I will try to get to as many of you as I can. Also, there's another way. If you feel a little shy and you don't mind me getting to it a little later, you can find me on Instagram. I'm @michelleteaz T-E-A-Z, and you can just shoot me a message over there and tell me what your problem is. And I will read it on this show at a later date. Okay. Okay, cool. So that's how this works. I really want to welcome all new people and all of my like diehard tarot fanatics. So happy to see you all and to see that the chat is like immediately bumpin. I am coming to you live from an Airstream trailer on an organic farm somewhere in California. That's just where my life has brought me right now. It's very cute. I'm very, very into it. So. Yes. What else do I want to tell you guys? Oh, I want to tell you that if you're listening on Spotify and you want to kind of join in and participate, it's very easy. Just hop on over to the Spotify Live app and you can do that. And what else do I want to say? I want to let you guys know that if you're here and you're new and you're like, How do I listen to back episodes of this? This is so fun. Just go over to Spotify, search for the Your Magic Feed. That is my podcast that I do. And all of the back episodes of Ask the Tarot Live will be there. Discord Link. Oh, if there's anyone from your magic hanging about that can throw the Discord Link in the chat, that would be so lovely. I don't have the ability, Jasmine. You're not even on your magic dime. But you should be. My goodness. Thank you for that. It's true. We have a discord, which is super awesome. You guys can all hang out and know each other and help each other and support each other with just keep the good vibes going. Your magic also has a Patreon and if you sign up for that, some of the cool things that you get is I actually do a monthly live tarot zoom where I do a deep dove into one tarot card. We're slowly going through the entire deck and it's really fun. And then I come up with a unique tarot spread based on the card, and we all do it together. And if you buy into Patreon, you can come and participate in those and you can also watch all the back episodes. And I do these really groovy astrology readings for everyone's sun sign based on the different new moons and full moons. I don't know. There's just there's so much stuff. And if you would like your cards, read. Yes. Just press the speaker. Request button. All right. I'm going to take a little sip of my Lacroix. Hold on. It's really hot in this little I mean, I'm sure where ever. Oh, gosh, am I still here? Okay. I'm still here. My phone. My phone slid away. I'm sure wherever you guys are, it's really hot as well because we're having, like, apocalyptic heat waves.

Okay. I'm going to start with a question that came into my Instagram says 'I'm 26 and Aquarius Sun.' Hey, sister. 'And just got my hair license last October. I've been working at a salon since December and I found myself feeling disenchanted with my career and the industry in general. I'm realizing that the reality of this career doesn't live up to my expectations. I want to be creative and hone my skills in certain areas, but unfortunately the demographic of my area doesn't allow for it. Instead, my days are filled with boring services that I despise doing.' Oh no. 'Not to mention the clients themselves are so draining. I've been feeling so unfulfilled the last couple of months and dread coming to work. I knew going into this field that it would take a ton of hard work for me to build a clientele and end up where I want to be. I just don't know if it will be worth it. I have a deep passion for beauty, but to be honest, I only chose this career because I felt like I needed to do something with my life and I thought this would be the choice I'd be most happy with.' Okay. All right. All right. I am really getting the vibe from this freaky Aquarius that like Clarence Aquarian. Clarence, your clientele are just kind of too boring for you, huh? They're like, not the people that you hoped you'd be working with. They're not asking for the services that are creative and fun for you. But oh my gosh, I see Lindsay in the chat saying, I am a hair stylist and you can do this. Thank you, Lindsay. Here's what I'm going to ask. First of all, I'm going to say, what does it look like for you to persevere? Okay. What does it look like for you to sort of integrate and metabolize the disappointments, the imperfections of this situation, but to stay at it, you know, and to keep up with that hard work that you knew what we're really bring you. Is this your truth? Is this your path killing three cards for that. Now, I'm also wondering, I don't know where where a year where you're living, but I do know that, like, probably if you want to do like wild fun, freaky stuff with beauty and with hair, you're going to have more opportunity to do something like that in a big city. Right. So I'm going to ask, what would it look like for you to learn about other salons that are more up your alley and other cities and relocate? Okay. What would it look like for you to do that, to kind of go where your people are, where the the people who want to get I don't know who want to get, you know, skunk died, wolf cuts or whatever. Oh, well, Lindsey is so great. Lindsey, it. Okay, how can we do this? How can we do it? Because, Lindsay, I don't know if you want me to say your name on this. I'm not going to I'm not going to put you on blast for everybody to listen. But I can see on the chat that Lindsay just offered up to be a hair mentor. This is the best community. All right. We're going to do another I'm going to do another pull for you. And I'm going to ask, what does it look like if you find maybe a different salon? Like maybe it's about finding a salon that's a different and better match for you that has, like freakier clientele, more creative clientele. I'm going to do that. Okay. Oh, my God. Lindsay saying that it's really okay. Okay. It's at lynnie, her hair ally and i e h a h air. If you need a mentor and hair friend, she works at a witchy salon in Tampa. Oh, my God. That sounds so frickin cool. I want to go to a witchy salon in Tampa. All right, so one of you find a witchy hair salon for yourself? Aquarius. I'm pulling some cards for you. And then finally, my final question, okay, is for the tarot on your behalf is what if you get out of hairdressing? What if it's just not if it's not your truth, you know, like you have an interest in beauty. Maybe it's in something else. Maybe it's in special effects makeup. I don't know. You know, maybe you want to be an institution. Maybe you want to be a tattoo artist or a piercer, you know? I mean, there's there's so many things that one can do with beauty, with the idea of beauty. All right, so I got a bunch of cards spread out all around me now on this bed, in an Airstream trailer, on a farm. That's where I am. Okay. Welcome to everyone who's coming to their first live. This is so fun. Raise your hand if you have a question. I'll try to get to everybody. And I'm so happy that you're here.

Okay, so what does it look like for our querent, huh? Okay, listen, here's the deal. The first three cards say, what does it look like for you to just stick it out, right, even though it's really hitting you that it's not ideal? This is very interesting, especially thinking about you being an Aquarius. The first card you got is the lust card. Okay, which is showing me that there is passion here for you. Okay? There is passion in hairdressing for you in a really big way because the last card is about lust for life. It's also Leo and Leo rules beauty. So that's a great card for you. And now this is very interesting. The next card that came up for you is utility and it's an Aquarius card. Here's the deal with this card. It talks about how sometimes Aquarians vision Aquarius is are visionaries, right? And that's what's so great about them. But often, you know, they're also cult leaders. You guys, you know, often their vision is a little bit too divorced from reality. It's a little bit too divorced from what's actually possible. So your expectations just might not be completely accurate or appropriate for what's available. Okay. And then your final card is The Lovers. So, you know, this is it's interesting. It's like hairdressing. The spirit of hairdressing is popping up in these tarot cards and it is saying, okay, there's a lot of passion here for you, but it's not completely perfect. Right. It's also going to let you down because you've got these standards that cannot be met. Maybe they're a little unrealistic. Okay. So the lovers card pops up saying, do you want to be with me anyway? You know, can you give me this unconditional love? So that's interesting. It looks like there is passion in this industry for you if you can accept the imperfections. What about moving to a place where there are more freaky clientele? No, that's not your answer. Okay, you got the adjustment card, which is like maybe. And then defeat and interference. That's a big no from the tarot. It's not about that. What about finding a different salon? Would that help you? It might actually. It might help you. The very first card you have is the prince of cuts. And he's really indecisive. He's a little tormented and angsty and indecisive. So I think that before you can think about that, you have to figure out if you're going to commit to even being a hairdresser, if you can. And if you do commit to being a hairdresser, I think you've got to look around. There's a better salon out there for you. And I say this because right after that Prince of Cuts is the chariot. And the chariot is about making a move. It's often about relocating quite literally. And it's a great card and, you know. Cancer. We're in cancer season. Cancers want things that are close to their hearts and that are meaningful. And that's the crux of this question. Right. How can this working more meaningful for you? And then finally, the love card to a couple again, Venus in Cancer, Venus, Planet of Beauty, cancer. It's cancer season. This is when this is coming up for you. I like that. Now, I did ask, of course, what does it look like for you to leave this? Is that your truth? To leave this? Geez. Okay. It it actually might be best for you just to get out of Dodge. I'm really sorry to say. You know, obviously, beauty is important for you, because I do want to say that staying in this industry is not bad. Like you're not getting bad cards for staying in it, right. To remain a hairdresser, you do get the lust card to switch, find a better salon the it in the love card. But to get out of it and figure out it's like drill a little deeper. What really is your interest in beauty? What kind of beauty do you like if you do kind of leave the industry and the specifically the hairdressing industry and go into a different area of it, you get the nine of discs, which is game. We love that because first of all, that's about like material success and this is your livelihood. So that's really cool. It's also Venus in Virgo, and I like that for you because again, Venus, we're talking about beauty, we're talking about standards of beauty and the virgo's very critical. They have a very critical standard of beauty. And in a sense, you do, too, even though your beauty standard might be really weird and like a misfit, sort of like, you know, off the beaten path, like a freaky beauty standard. You still do have a standard, right? And you want to be able to be true to that. The next cards you get for leaving hairdressing is the fool and the star. So wow. I mean, the fool is like, Yes, girl, jump off that cliff. Get, get out of here. Jump out the window of that beauty salon, get run for your life. And then it's with the star and that is the Aquarian card. So here we see your Aquarian nature getting to really just reach for the stars, just really flex and really like allow your vision to be as big and beautiful as you want it to be. So at the end of all those cards, I just should have just asked right away, should you just leave hairdressing? Because that's what it looks like to me. If it's if it takes you a minute to do that, don't fret. Because like I said, there is passion that's there for you in hairdressing. And if you are more like, okay, I'm going to like wait a year, then see if you can spend that year working in another salon that is better suited for you. Okay, great. You know, I just want to say that while I was just doing that reading, I see everybody in the chat. There's so many new folks and thank you for always, you know, thank you like alumni for always helping out the new folks and explaining how to raise their hand is so kind of you. I love everyone's vibes, you know, and if you want to and we're here every Thursday, 6:00 on the West Coast, 9:00 on the East Coast. So we do this every week, if you like this, and I hope that you do. Okay. Let me see who's got their hand up. Carey or Cari. Hello?

Querent: Can you hear me?

Michelle Tea: Yes, I can. Hello.

Querent: Oh, my gosh. Hi. This is my very first time experience you live. I found you through another podcast and just fell in love with you. And I just had a feeling I was like, I got to stick with this one. I love it. I got to soak up all the episodes I can in a timeline. And this is my first time at the Live and.

Michelle Tea: Oh, thank you so much. I'm really happy that you like it all. I'm really happy that you came.

Querent: Thank you. And happy to be here. I'm happy to be here. So how should I start?

Michelle Tea: Well, you know what? Would you like your tarot cards to be read about what's going on?

Querent: Okay, so I've had this guy friend for two years and after the first year he started to chase me, calling me all the time, texting me all the time, wanting to see me hang out with me. I was really working on myself. I've done nothing but date toxic and men bad for me and he was actually a really good, sweet guy. He still is. He really is a good guy. Finally, back in April, I was like, All right, I'm going to go for this. I'm really going to try to do the good guy here. So we went in. We probably went in a little too fast and he got scared and he was like, I just want us to go back to being friends because I don't want to lose you because we both started to just run away from each other and we went back to friends. And you just started a few weeks ago, we were going to try again. He's like, I need you to go slow. He hasn't been in a relationship in ten years and I do want a relationship with him, right? Now it's just feeling like friends. He says he wants to come over and see me. He says he wants to spend time with me. He says he doesn't know what he wants and I'm confused. I don't know if he's confused about himself, but I still love him very much and I still feel all the hope and the good sparks. And I want to know if it's going to lead to that or this is just going to fizzle out.

Michelle Tea: Okay. Okay. Well, it sounds really confusing. That's why you're confused. You're not confused because you're a confused person. Yes. It sounds very like like the messages are a little mixed. So. Okay. Before I shuffle, can I ask you, are you like at the ocean or something?

Querent: I'm in San Diego, California.

Michelle Tea: Oh, my God. I just keep thinking I hear the ocean literally behind you and I'm like.

Querent: It's my fan. It's like it's like 98 outside right now, and I'm just trying to cool down.

Michelle Tea: Yeah. In front of that fan. It's very soothing. Well, I'm going to pretend you're in front of the ocean. Okay, so I'm going to ask the deck first. I'm asking, what does it look like for you to keep going forward and trusting that the you know, the good intentions that you have towards each other, the romantic intentions that you have towards each other will sort themselves out. Like does it what does it look like for you to sort of allow him to you know, he's clearly having a confused moment, like what if you, you know, sort of patiently wait that out and keep keep your romantic intentions towards him. So I'm pulling three cards on that. Verses. What if you say, you know something, this is actually just confusing me and I don't want to lose you either. But maybe we are better as friends. Like what if, you know what if you actually pull back the romantic intention, you know, in hopes because it's too confusing, because you would like something that was just, like, more clear so that you don't have to guess about where somebody's at. Okay, I'm going to do one more shuffle on that.

Querent: His name's Dante, don't know if it helps.

Michelle Tea: Oh, I mean, I don't need it, but sure. Thank you for sharing it. Okay, so let me see. Okay. Oh, gosh. All right. Listen. It really does look like more is going to be revealed in this situation. But it looks a little hard at first for sure. Like, whatever this like he he's got like this is coming from him. Like something's up with him like that. He hasn't been in a relationship for ten years. And it's it's his energy that sort of blocking the growth of you guys coming together. So there's not so much you can do about it except kind of hang out and wait. So if you do do that, the first card that you have is the five of swords, which is defeat. So that is stressful, right? So this to me feels like it's the way that he I don't think he's necessarily intending on like blocking your energy, but it sounds like he's scared and that's basically what he's doing. So what's what's happening for you is that you're feeling defeated like you're you're putting this energy out towards him and then it's getting shot down that the hardest part of the five of swords is that you run the risk of then internalizing that and feeling like, Oh, rejected, or like, there's something wrong with your pacing or what you want, so really be on guard against that. However, what comes after the defeat card is the night of swords. So the Knight of Swords is sort of the opposite energy of the defeat card. With the defeat card, everything is like really it's. It's like you're in your head. I don't think you're in your head. I think he's in his head and he's overthinking things and freaking himself out. With the night of swords. It's the opposite. It's like suddenly there's clarity. And because of the clarity, there's motion. Things are moving forward. And then right after the Knight of Swords is the Fool, which is just like jumping right in. So this is really interesting. Like, I wonder if you were I mean, have you expressed anything to him about that? It's hard and frustrating and confusing for you.

Querent: I have, yes. And that's why he was like, okay, let's just go back to being friends. I don't want to lose the friendship. And we did. And then we just kept talking more and more and more. And then that's when he said, All right, let's go. We'll try again. But I know he has a lot on his plate and he keeps saying he wants to come over and hang out with me and spend time with me, but it just doesn't happen. Something always seems to to come up.

Michelle Tea: So when was the last time you guys saw each other?

Querent: We work together.

Michelle Tea: Oh, okay. Okay. I mean, it looks like there is the possibility of this turning around, but I wonder if you. I want. Okay. I have two ideas coming from this reading. And one is for you to just be like, I can't do this. This feels lousy. And that sort of wakes him up. But you don't want that to become a pattern, right? It's like he only is more interested when you're sort of going away. Like, that's crazy making, right? But it looks like your energy. Like there's still something more. Because for you to to for you to leave this dynamic, the cards that you got are the princess of wands. So that's great. That's like a very positive impulse to leave the dynamic. You're like, Oh, I don't want this. I want to be free. I want to be, you know, I don't know, respected. And I want things to be reciprocal. I'm out of here. I'm the princess of wands.

Querent: I just said that on my drive home. I want to be respected today.

Michelle Tea: Yes, you and you. And you really should be respected. And I don't I don't think that this is about you staying in a situation that is disrespectful. But I think I know that you said. Yes, I did. I did say this to him before, but it doesn't sound like you said it to him this this time. It sounds like you had two different rounds. Right? So you're now in the second round. And I think that it's time again. I think that's what that defeat card is saying is like, you know, something, the same things happening. Like, I think that you have a pattern here and I don't think I really want to be in your pattern. I think that, like, that's the way to get that's the way to make some sort of change happen. And whether that changes that organically, you're kind of brought out of the of the relationship or and the straight card is about like there's a lot of energy and then it's just getting oppressed and then you get the hermit card and there's nothing wrong with the hermit. There's nothing wrong with being alone. But I feel like, you know, when when he comes up in a sort of romantic way, it does sort of talk about it, sort of break up vibes and, you know, for you to stick it out, you get the fool. So but what's really interesting is you need to cross through that defeat card to get there. And I don't think you cross to that defeat card alone. I think because it's not your defeat. You're experiencing his defeatist head trip, you know. So I think it's really important for you to tell him like this. And it's not healthy for me to be in a dynamic like this. And then Paul's in his court. He can just step up or then you'll have more information.

Querent: Okay.

Michelle Tea: So it makes sense?

Querent: Yes, it does. Thanks.

Michelle Tea: Okay. You're very welcome. I wish you so much luck. Yeah. You know, you deserve somebody who, like, is dying to come over your house. You are such a fox. I'm, like, looking at your profile picture. Are you kidding me? What is wrong with this person? Okay, looks aren't everything I know. I know. But obviously, obviously, you're a wonderful spirit as well. So good luck to you. We're all rooting for you.

Querent: Thank you. Bless you.

Michelle Tea: Same to you. Take care.

Querent: You too.

Michelle Tea: Step it up, people. You know what I mean? Cheers. Cheers. Okay, let me see who else is here in the room. Jasmine. Oh, my goodness. Jasmine. There you are. Down at the mike, hitting the wrong thing. I get a chill. Oh, did I just pick on Jasmine? Because that was my intention. Okay, good. Jasmine, there you are.

Querent: Hey, Michelle. Ah, I didn't know you were going to take me. I'm eating.

Michelle Tea: I'm just. That's fine. Finished. Finished chewing. Don't show, don't choke. I didn't know if you came through because I got nail extensions. You guys, I've never had fake nails before, and I'm having to relearn how to use my hands. I'm like an early cave person whose thumb just got, you know.

Querent: But, yeah, I just will like the vibe check. I'm kind of currently in like this stagnant moment in my life, and I've been like a lot of people saying, Your toes, it's kind of like you. You're going through the motions of wanting to accomplish so many things. So I guess it's the vibe to something, you know, advice as to like what to do with this stagnant time in my life.

Michelle Tea: Okay, so things feel a little stagnant, but you are doing stuff like you're in school right now.

Querent: That's the that's the irony. I just got my degree and I just got hired.

Michelle Tea: You just got a hybrid job. Oh, my God. Right after you graduated. Congratulations, Jasmine. Yeah. You know, sometimes after you finish a big project, though, there's always like, there can be a big sense of letdown after. After that. I know everybody give Jasmine so many, like, congratulations. I feel like we've been we've been here with you through. Part of it is we're so excited for you. But okay, it's a stagnant feeling now. So let's see if we can get some more information about this stagnation. Okay. And my nails are purple. Thanks for asking. And except one of them flipped off the other day when I was turning on the air conditioner. When I went back to the salon, they couldn't match my color. So now I have one pink. Now who cares? Who cares? Right. All right. Oh, yeah. Oh, my gosh. Jasmine, you got some real stagnation nation cards here, which, you know, shouldn't be a surprise to you or to me. So I'm going to talk about the two cards on either side. The first one is the five of cups I'm reading with the top deck per usual. It's called disappointment. The next one is is the seven of cups and it's called debauch. So one is Mars, one is Venus. They're both Scorpio. So when the disappointment card comes up, it's like usually, you know, it's been it's as frank is, it says that there's a sense of disappointment. You know, maybe the expectations were too high. I don't know. Do you are you disappointed in your new job? Be honest.

Querent: I've been working remote for the past since May and then like well paid remote. But then prior to that I was just remote, like working for the nonprofit alone. And it and the like. The expectations were higher than reality because it's like working from remote sounds fine in the beginning, but then like after a while the high like buzzes off and whatnot.

Michelle Tea: Yeah. And then you just, like, trapped in your house. It's weird. Yeah. Okay, so that's. That's the job you're working right now. It's remote?

Querent: Yeah, but the one I got hired for is back on campus.

Michelle Tea: Okay. All right. Are you feeling disappointed with that job? Is it sort of like.

Querent: Oh, no, I it's it's been going slow at the moment. I haven't started, like, I just got hired yesterday, so I haven't started yet.

Michelle Tea: Oh, okay, okay, okay. The debauch card is also about like when the debauch card comes up, it's like there's something going like we're trying to fill a hole or like feel like scratch an itch that, like, can't really be scratched. There's something deeper going on. There's a deeper longing or a deeper desire that isn't really being looked at. So. So that's interesting. It's like this is just a dissatisfied pair of cards, right? And then the card you have in the middle is the chariot. So I'm like, wow, you got to you got to move out of town or something. Like, you get you get to find, you get you're feeling stagnant. Do you do you need to like move? Is there another place that's calling you in your heart? Yeah.

Querent: It really is. But that's why I kind of pick up the second job so I can start saving up and go ahead and move out. But yeah, California is a place that I always wanted to live there when I visited last August, and I want to go back this August, but I'm trying to save up so I can be financially ready to go out there and visit again. So yeah.

Michelle Tea: You just need to work as hard as possible and just keep laying the groundwork to get to California, keep making those plans, making connections so that it so that it becomes so that it's really real for you. You know, you don't want it to feel like it's way off in the distance. And will it ever happen like you want to? Feel like every day you're really doing something to bring you closer to that. Does that make sense?

Querent: Yes, it does. And thank you so much for that, because I really believe in someone like that where that girl like, it's okay, you're only 21. The world is not ending.

Michelle Tea: I know it's so crazy to feel like time is running out on you when you're in your twenties, but I totally remember what that felt like. I promise you, it's not you know, it's not running out on you. You have so much time. You're you're like you're going to get to California, right, when you're meant to get there. But just do something that's, like, proactive, like a little bit every day just to remind yourself that, like, that's what you're living for right now. That's what you're working for so that you don't sort of start just feeling that like, Oh, here I am, I'm just doing this thing. There is like this really greater purpose for you right now.

Querent: Well, thank you. All right. Thank you, guys in the comments as well. Thanks, Michelle.

Michelle Tea: Okay. Okay. Great. Thank you, Jasmine. Okay. Let me see. I get some more questions that came in. And thank you for always letting me know in the chat when you can't hear me because I'm just here talking to myself, you know? All right, here we go. Here is another person who needs some help. 'I'm an Aries sun, Taurus Rising and Pisces moon. I'm curious about what your take on my life is.' I love that question. 'First off, I feel I am totally closed off from my energetic connections with the universe.' Oh no. This is taking a sad turn. 'I have been really depressed and out of touch with myself lately and I feel like I shouldn't be. I've changed so much about my life within the last two years and they've actually been really good changes.' That's great. Congratulations. 'I went from being a single mom of one baby, struggling financially, emotionally, and barely hanging on to my job to a married woman with money and a house and now two babies.' Congratulations. That sounds amazing. 'But I feel more lost than ever. I'm not sure why. And what should I do next to feel like myself again? Or to just feel less lost? What am I doing wrong and what am I doing right?' This is a really intense question. I wish that I had the parent with me live to ask more questions. There's more I want to know, but I'm going to do my best with this information. I do want to say, just as somebody who is also a mom and who had a baby, you're never normal after work. I don't know. Are there moms, like out in the chat right now? Do you agree or disagree that you are never normal after you have a baby? I feel like my hormones are completely different and they've made me a totally different person. And if I were to try to find my way back to who I was before, I think I would feel really crazy because that person is like gone now. I see a lot of moms are agreeing. So, you know, that's that's the first kind of impulse I got with this is that like you are a new you. And maybe the problem is that you're trying to kind of, I don't know, feel like a woman who's not around anymore. Okay. Thank you. Carrie says that us moms are incredible. Thank you, Carrie. I mean, you know, being a mother really makes you realize that we are all humans, we are all chemistry sets, and our hormones get really, really like, oh, my God, it's like a hormonal bumper car situation. So the first thing I want to ask the cards for you is, is this just a new you that you need to get to know? What would it look like if you stopped, you know, trying to, you know, feel like who you think you're supposed to feel like, right? Like. Like this idea. Like I need to feel like myself again. You know, it also makes me think about this, like, Buddhist idea that. Like what? There is no self, right? Our cells are always changing. And sometimes we hit these parts of our lives where that comes, that becomes very, very clear. Right? It's overwhelmingly so. And you might be in one of those situations. So what does it look like for you to just be like, oh, this is a different me and maybe I just need to get to know myself and not freak out, not feel scared, but just take some time to get to know this new me and what this new me needs. You probably have different needs, right? Okay, maybe you're like, old self needs to catch up with this new self. I also hearing this, you know, reading this. It's also making me think, okay, also, you know, what is real postpartum depression. And you know what I never even heard about until after I had a baby? Postpartum anxiety. That's real, too. So I just want to know, what would it look like for you to get, like, some, you know, some support that could be around mood and hormones and that are coming from a more physical situation? And, you know, famously, guys, I don't really do health readings. I want everyone to see a doctor.

But I do want to say, you know, what does it look like if you go and see some kind of medical professional to talk about this? Because it really could be hormones. Okay. And what else do I want to. What are you doing right? What are you doing wrong? Okay, I'm going to say, what are your what are your strengths right now? Blanca is saying, don't forget about you time. That was so real with two babies. I'm guessing you time is few and far between moments. Right? That is really important. Okay, so I'm going to see what are your strengths? One last little shuffle and. Okay. Also, I'm going to ask what ah, alone time happens in the bathroom, says Melody. Right? Oh, my God. Don't forget your phone. Take your phone in there with you. Okay. And what are. What's challenging you? Like, what are your what are your challenges right now that you're that you have some maybe control over? Right. Because you're saying, like, what am I doing wrong? You might not be doing anything wrong, per se, but. All right, see what let's see what the cards say. All right. So what does it look like for you to open yourself up to the idea that you're just a different person? Right. And that, like, maybe you don't need to be scared of that. What does that look like for you? All right, guess what? I mean, that might be true. Sounds true, right? Everyone was like, hell, yes. But that's not going to solve your problem. That's not really what it is. You have the ten of cups, which is the sort of board card uninspired. You have a five of cups disappointment, and then you have the four of swords, which is sort of a truce. Okay, so what I'm getting from that is, you know, if you took that route, it's not going to feel it doesn't feel correct to you. It really doesn't feel like your truth. And you'd be making peace with sort of tolerating a problem. And I don't want you to do that. What does it look like for you to get some help? That might be an okay thing, but it's not it's not solving the problem. It totally is of disks means it is a new you know, that's a path. It would start a new physical cycle for you. But then you get the moon in the four of cups, the luxury card. So it doesn't fully that also doesn't fully solve the problem. But listen, if you were thinking about maybe, you know, getting your hormones looked at or something, I wouldn't I wouldn't tell you not to do that. But that's not quite it either. Okay. What do you have going for you here? What are your strengths? Okay, let me see. So this is really interesting. Your middle card is the queen of disks, okay? And she has everything together. She is just really, really strong. She you know, this is interesting, like the way you talk about yourself, like I'm married, I have money, I have a house that you baby's like that's very queen of disks, right? So sort of the place that you landed in this place of stability and security is actually really good for you. So that's not the problem. Which is awesome. You also have the adjustment card, which is the justice card. So it's like you're able to you're able to make really good decisions for yourself. So that is something that's really good too. And this is really funny. You have the double card as being on your side. And I actually really like this, especially, you know, with this queen of discards. She is a big Capricorn and the devil is also a Capricorn card. And I'm reading that as like you're not afraid or you shouldn't be afraid to like be very selfish. Right. If you need something, you got to take it. These are things that are going to help you. I don't know if you have a profession, but if you do like not losing track of that would be really good for you. Otherwise that queen of disks is the way that you're manifesting. You know your life at home, in your home, with your children, raising your children, just like really being proud of that and like not taking that for granted will be really helpful for you. The adjustment card is about balance. And so just like letting yourself adjust to this new life, like you just might be a little out of balance. And then the double card, do you need something that you feel like you can't ask for? You should ask for it. You should ask for everything that you need, especially the things that you are worried will put other people out if it's alone time, whatever it is, if it's like extra help, the devil card comes up sometimes when we're like, Oof, I don't know if I can do that, you know? It's like, Yes, you can. The devil. The devil is telling you that you can. What are your challenges? It's okay. All right. So here's your challenges. Princess of Swords, a little reactionary, a little too quick to throw the baby out with the bathwater. Not literally. No one's throwing babies out. Oh, my God. What a terrible metaphor to use talking to a new mom. But the Princess of Swords is like tearing down a corrupt temple instead of, like, just trying to fix the, you know, the systemic problem. Sometimes she's great, but this came up, as, you know. What are you doing wrong? Make sure you're not seeing a problem. And then, like, globalizing and being like, Oh, forget it, it's all terrible. That is sort of also comes up with the very next card is that five of. Swords defeat card. So when I'm seeing that is, again, you know, the wanted. That's true. That is real. But then we write a story about it and we get really attached to it. So I want you to make sure that that you're not letting a negative narrative live in your head. Right. You're the only one who has the power to, like, cast that voice out. So you really need to do that. And then finally, you've got the ten of wands, this oppression card. You're doing things that you don't want to do. And that's why that. That's why the devil card is your friend. There are some things you need to say no to. Okay. Maybe you thought you wanted to do them anyway. The ten of wands oppression that is telling you part of your problem is you're doing things that you don't want to be doing and that you shouldn't be doing. The corresponding strength to that is the devil card that is like it might feel really taboo. You might hurt some feelings, but you need to say no to some things. That is going to really help you, give you the time that you need to kind of like get back in touch with yourself.

Michelle Tea: Okay. All right. It's 6:44. I want to get some more people in the room. You are listening to Ask the Tarot live. We're here every Thursday. I do live tarot readings. You can raise your hand in the room. We're here every Thursday, 6:00 on the West Coast, 9:00 on the East Coast. And there are back episodes that you can binge listen to. Just go over to Spotify, search for my podcast, which is Your Magic, and you'll find back Ask The Tarot rooms right in there. And I really want to give a special shout out to all the two girls, one ghost listeners, and all the morbid listeners. I love that you guys come here. You're the best. Okay. What is happening now? Melody, you are up. Melody, hello.

Querent: Oh, my gosh. I can't believe. Yeah, I found you on Two Girls One Ghost too.

Michelle Tea: Well, thanks for being here. That was so fun.

Querent: And I love Morbid too. Can you hear me okay?

Michelle Tea: What?

Querent: Can you hear me?

Michelle Tea: I can hear you fine. Can you hear me?

Querent: Yeah, I can hear you.

Michelle Tea: Okay, well, what's your question for the tarot?

Querent: Well, I lost a best friend, like, two years ago, and I haven't been able to, like, feel myself, like, since I happened, have this feeling my super loss. And I don't really know. I mean, like, I feel like I'm in a stagnant, like, part of my life. And so I'm just, like, wondering, I don't even know what to do because I have like I said, I have a 25 year old daughter, 22 year old son, but he's in Hawaii then I have an 11 year old daughter and I'm just like I do. I live for them. So I keep living for them or do I do I me?

Michelle Tea: You know, surely you can let some of you in there, right? I don't think it's ever good for anybody to be living only for your kids. And you've already said you feel stagnant. So what does it mean to do you like what are some things you think you would do if like if if you were given permission to do them?

Querent: Um, like, you know, find my career again. That's been put off for a long time because I'm just like, you know, my 11 year old needed me a lot. And yeah, I don't know. I mean, what do you think?

Michelle Tea: Okay. And then what about you started this whole query with talking about having lost a friend. Like, what if you put yourself out there?

Querent: He was my everything. He was like my second husband. And even my husband always jokes around like, you know, I haven't even mentioned my husband, but yeah, we've been married for like a big 11 years or something. And but yeah, my best friend was like my soulmate, but we weren't it was platonic. But yeah, it was like for sanctuary I would escaped his house, you know? So my husband always knew where to find me. But yeah, everybody was cool with it because we were super close. And so yeah, he had cancer and just like died right away and his family was afraid that he was going to be is because he always said, I want to, you know, he wanted to give me stuff. And I was like, no, don't even talk like that. And so his brother and sister, she swooped in from New York and just like more like not allowing me to see him in his last month. So I didn't give me closure. So it's been, like, really weighing on my heart, you know?

Michelle Tea: Yeah. Okay, well, that might be a big part of it also is not having closure. Ah is there anything that you can think of that would help you get closure on your own? Like not involving, you know, his family, which obviously you can't control that. But have you ever done any kind of like ritual?

Querent: Yeah, actually, I have a candle I got from your intuition. My hair. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And I got it from there because I had a psychic reading there and it was right next to his house. We always said we wanted to go in there, so I was like freaking, I'm going to go in there and myself, you know? And I went in there and she was like, Yeah, you know, whenever you're ready to let go like this kind of. I mean, I haven't let it, but.

Michelle Tea: Okay, all right. Well, no, but I mean, letting go doesn't mean that that person's no longer around you or in your life. I think it just means you're accepting that they're not here physically. And then you get to figure out what that next sort of what that next chapter of your relationship to them is. Right. Or to the memory, to their energy, to their spirit. Okay. I just picked three cards for what is it? What does it look like for you to actually make some sort of, like, ritualistic effort towards closure, you know, because that really might be what is weighing so heavily on you. And now do you have other friends in your it's could you use a new I mean, no one's going to replace this person and I never want it to sound like that's what I'm suggesting. But like to bring some like new friend energy into your life, is that something that would maybe bring you some? Joy.

Querent: Oh, I've been trying, but, I mean, it's like nobody can. It was the only person. They never got tired of being around. Just totally be me, like, raw, you know?I've been trying to make, like, mom friends and. I don't know, I just. It's super hard I don't know.

Michelle Tea: Oh, are you. I'm getting I'm hearing you talk about how of intuition. And so I'm guessing that you are in you're in Los Angeles.

Querent: Uh huh. Yeah, well, I'm. I just moved from Los Angeles to Orange County, but yeah, basically, I mean, like, yeah, I'm everywhere but L.A. area.

Michelle Tea: Okay. Do you know about Moms Club L.A.?

Querent: Um, I think I've heard of it, it's an app right?

Michelle Tea: It's like something like that. And they pair you with other moms that have kids. You're same age. I don't know if they still go all the way up to 11 as your youngest. So it might be a dead end for you. I'm not sure. But it's worth checking out because the women that I have found through these are all my mom, any mom friend that I have is like through this. They're really cool people. Really cool people. Also go on Facebook and there is a group called Babies, Babies, Babies with exclamation points after every word. Babies. It's like these babies, baby, go on, I swear to God. And just be like, here's my deal. I need I need friends. The women are so cool, they have each other's back. And it's just like the vibe in here, you know?

Querent: It's a really hard for me because I don't feel like I've ever had women friends.

Michelle Tea: You might want to look at, you know, so let me see these cards. So the first cards, what does it look like for you to put energy back into your career? It looks really good reality and it looks important. It also looks like it's going to be hard. It's not super easy, obviously, but it looks crucial. So the first card you have is the lust card. And that is like, again, lust for life, passion. Like why are you here on the planet partly to, you know, have have given birth to your kids for sure, and to be a mom, but also to like, you know, flex, you know, that other way of expressing yourself, which you do to do your work. It sounds like it looks really important to you and like it has a lot to give back to you. The next card you have is the five of wands, which is straight. So that's saying like, okay, you have all this tremendous energy, you should be putting it back into work. It's also going to be hard, right? There's going to be some conflicts. It's going to sometimes you're not going exactly know how to make that work. But but strive card is smaller than the last card, if that makes sense. And then your third card is another fire card princess of wands. She's just taking a big chance. She's naked, so she's letting herself be vulnerable. She has these big antennas on her head, which are evocative of her being super intuitive and following her gut. She has the tiger by the tail, like literally a tiger. She's holding it by the tail. So it's like she's. Yeah, just taking control. I love that she's burning her fingers on an altar. So she's not she's not waiting until she's not until she has no fear. She's not waiting until everything's all. She's doing it now, you know, in spite of her fears, in spite of there being some difficulties. So to me, that's a huge yes. Now, what does it look like for you to actually move towards doing some type of ritual to get some closure? Okay. Much like the other reading, it looks really hard for you, but it looks like the payoff is actually quite beautiful. So the first card that you have is the eight of wands, which is swiftness, it's mercury in Sagittarius and it's just about like a lot of energy being released is really what it's about, like a huge release of energy. And I feel like you need that like part of I think. Can I ask you what your sign is?

Querent: Okay, I'm in Gemini. Well, I'm May 23rd.

Michelle Tea: All right. So Taurus cusp. Okay, that's cool. I mean, you're getting a lot of fire signs, but like, you know, a lot of fiery cards. But Gemini also is so electric, you know? So that makes sense to me. And this is a very electrical card, this witness card. It is about communication. So, you know, this isn't about like shutting the door on this connection. It's about actually, you know, shifting the communication like you want to communicate with. Right. And but you just need to shift it out of the place it is right now, which is the next card, which is defeat. So you feel like your you know, your ability to be with him has been totally defeated and annihilated by him passing away, which, like, I'm not trying to be like super new age about it. Be like it's not though like, I get it. He's not here. That's horrible and painful. And it's not like an adequate, you know, consolation to get to, like, have access to him, you know, in this other way. But it does look. Like it's actually healing and important for you to try to make that shift and let it be messy and let it be imperfect and bring your resentment and your hurt into it. You don't have to wait until you feel like a light hearted, like woo woo angel before you do this. Like you can bring your messy, sad self in and light that candle and say, like, I want I want to just start where I am and make this effort towards closure, you know, so that you can get on with your life. You have also your final card. Here is the three of wands. That's a gorgeous, important energy card. It's sun in areas. And, you know, this is a lot about you. You need to get on with your life. You know, like you need to have new friends. Like no one's going to take the place of this person in your heart or in your life. But you do need you really need to move on. And I believe that this friend would want that for you. So, yeah, I mean, I don't know if you want to get another psychic reading or not. I know you sometimes there are there are energy workers that do a service called cord cutting where they cut the the way that you've been corded to another person. And again, does it mean you don't have that person in your life anymore? It just means that your energy isn't being drained from your body towards them and no clue what's happening because it's only going one way now, right? It's just all your energy being drained out towards this person who can't who's just is not able to reciprocate. So look into these things, look into ritual. There's a lot out there for you. And now mom friends pursuing mom friends. Oh, my God. Melody, there's so many cool mom friends out there for you. Your first card you had. Yes, the first card you have is the ace of cards. That is like a rejuvenating, refreshing relief of, like, a new emotional cycle. Like, you're ready for a new emotional cycle. Like you wouldn't be here raising your hand. Yeah, you are. Your next card here is the hair offense and that. That's Taurus. And it's very grounded and very wise. And it's like, you actually need these women in your life because you're going to learn things from them, right? Like, it's okay to be humble and to be like, you know, I don't know everything like perfect as a teacher, right? So there's something also where like, you know, you're a woman, you're a mom. These are big experiences, like human experiences. And they can be a little specific sometimes and it can be really powerful to have other people sharing those that are around you that you can learn things from. Even if what you're learning is that you already got it going on and you know what you're doing and that's gets validated. But the hair, yeah, the hair is just beautiful and powerful. And then, you know, let's do this friendship reading seem a little too heavy. You get the fool like, yes, jump off that cliff, take a chance, ask someone out to coffee, post something on babies, babies, babies. Call moms. I don't know. Just like look around and see what communities are out there. If you want to find me on on either Facebook, I am on Facebook or on Instagram @michelleteaz T-E-A-Z. I will help direct you to, you know, any any links that I yeah I'd I'd be happy to know that you live in like and that these are LA based organizations that I have.

Querent: Thank you.

Michelle Tea: You're very, very welcome. You know, you're going to have a lifetime to to process what your what your friend meant to you. Right. But like, while you're processing that, you shouldn't. That doesn't mean you need to punish yourself with friendliness. Okay.

Querent: Yeah.

Michelle Tea: Come on, come on. Discord and make friends that way.

Querent: I will definitely. I will definitely. Thank you so much. You're so smart. I mean, thank you so much.

Michelle Tea: I have so much respect for you also. Thanks for coming in and raising your hand.

Querent: Thank you. Thank you for having me.

Michelle Tea: Okay. Good luck.

Querent: Okay. Thank you.

Michelle Tea: Goodbye.

Querent: Thank you so much. Okay, bye.

Michelle Tea: All right, I'm going to do one more. Oh, my God. I'm going to do one more. And, Melinda, here you are. Melinda, you're up. I see folks are just coming in. Even at this late minute. Really at the last minute, you can catch everything that you didn't hear by going to the your magic feed on Spotify and find all of the back episodes of Ask the Tarot. It's never too late for tea. That's hilarious. Melinda, are you there?

Querent: Yes. Oh, my God. Hi.

Michelle Tea: Hi.

Querent: Oh, my gosh. I'm so excited. Okay, I found y'all, I found you on Two Girls One Ghost podcast, and I was so excited to.

Michelle Tea: I need to send a bouquet of flowers. That's great. I'm so happy that you liked it.

Querent: Okay, so I am an Aries and I my question for you is about a project that I'm kind of working on. It's a social media project. I run a book themed Instagram with one of my friends from high school, but I'm kind of curious if I should keep going with that or keep going with her on this bookstore gram or. If I should diverge.

Michelle Tea: Okay, so I'm picking three cards for what does it look like for you to keep doing what you're doing, you know, with your friends? And now I'm shuffling, asking, What does it look like if you go out and do your own thing? Would it still be on social media and still be about books? Yes. Okay, cool. So what if you branched out, did your own thing solo? Would you be solo or would you just have different collaborators?

Querent: I would be solo.

Michelle Tea: So solo. What is it like for you? Okay, so I'm picking three cards for that and. Oh, hey, my gosh, there's something. Are you having issues with your friends?

Querent: Yes. I just didn't want to say anything. We have very different ideas of how to run things. I am very much like a data based person. So I do things based on, you know, data interactions that I see. And she kind of likes to do things because that's what, you know, other people are doing on there. It hasn't been backed up by much like information or like in the analytics tabs with all of the different social media platforms we have together. I was going to say we've also just since high school, have had a whole interaction where we had a fight after high school and we didn't talk much for two years. And then she reached back out and I was like, I mean, you were you were my ride or die in High School. She stood up for me in high school and a lot of people bullied me. And so I was always like, You know what? I am I'm always going to be there for you. So that's why we went on this journey together.

Michelle Tea: Okay. Do you think that there's still things lingering from your old fight? Here's why I'm asking you these questions because both paths look hard, and so that's weird. So I'm like, okay, you know, something needs to be cleared up in one area or the other. The cards that you have for continuing to work with her, the first one is the star, which is beautiful. It's sort of like destined for you guys to do this and you know, and maybe it's okay that you guys have different visions or different strengths, you know, different approaches. Like maybe there's a way to bring those together, but it's not happening, right? The next card is the seven of disks, which is in the top deck is a negative card is called failure. And it just means that like things aren't moving the way that you want them to be moving. And so it's it's bringing up a lot of angst. It doesn't mean that things are actually a failure. Like your your social media accounts might be totally poppin, you know, they could be great. But there's a feeling that it's not working right. And so that that and then the next card, the last card is the sorrow card, three of swords, which is, you know, classically three swords piercing a heart. And it's usually about heartbreak and conflict. So it's making me wonder, like, do you guys need to process some more? Is there like lingering stuff around this fight that you had?

Querent: I honestly, I'm not entirely sure on her end because we never really discussed or had closure with the fight. I was just always like, I, of course, apologize for any cards on my end. And I was like, I never want to hurt you. We just have two different ways of communicating with each other, or like two different ways of going about things like back whenever we first got into the fight and I was trying to like reconcile with her and it's been a quite a few years since that happened, but since we have started talking again, we haven't really had any discussions about that fight. So I don't entirely know if closer closure. Is there on her end about that?

Michelle Tea: Is it on your end?

Querent: I feel like for me it might not be. And just because I don't know where she would stand on it.

Michelle Tea: That might be the thing that's really tripping the wires here even more than, you know, she wants to go on instinct more on data. I mean, people are wired differently like that. And there can be good there can be, you know, good things about two people who are so differently wired collaborating. So it seems like I would look a little bit beneath the surface because here's the deal. If you go out and do it on your own, you have the ace of cups. So it's like you start with this big burst of inspiration, like, this is great, I'm doing it on my own. But then you get the moon card, which is a little like Lost in the dark, and then the ten of one's, which is oppression, which is like, why did I think I wanted to do this by myself? I think you do maybe want to have like a partner in crime with it. And if you guys are, you know, differently minded, it seems like maybe that's what needs to be sorted out. I picked some cards on like what does it look like if you guys actually talk about the fact that you don't have closure around around the situation, around your fight? The very first card that came up is the tower. You know, that's that's a lot of energy that to me says like, wow, there's something there, right? There's really, really something there that maybe needs like maybe there's still a shitty structure or a shitty dynamic between you guys that needs to get ripped away. The card after the tower is the ten of disks, which is great. It's wealth. It's like, Oh, phew, okay. There's actually so much here for us. Like, there's so much here that we can share, there's so much wisdom, there's so much possible success between us and talk about closure. The ten of the ten of disks is literally the very last card in the entire tarot. It's card number 78. So it's like you can't go any further. You hit the end of the line and then you have the Knight of Swords. And that's all about clarity and moving forward. So it sounds like, you know, I wouldn't blame you for not wanting to have this conversation. It looks awkward, at least awkward if not actually really provocative with the tower card. But it does look like moving through that is maybe I think you guys might actually need each other a little bit, but or at the very least, like if you are going to not work with her anymore, you know, I'm sure that her her way of being in the world is truly annoying to you and doesn't seem like the best way to be. But it also seems like there's other things under that too, right? So at least may be getting a little more getting a little more honest about or realizing how much these past conflicts are actually feeding into your feelings today. So does that make sense?

Querent: Yeah.

Michelle Tea: Okay. I'm sorry. It's not an easier poll.Ggo forward and start your own thing. But it's not about you starting your own thing. It's about. It's about the lingering dynamics and energy between you guys.

Querent: Yeah, I figure that would play into it. A big part of it.

Michelle Tea: It looks like. It's almost just all of it, honestly. What sign is she?

Querent: I actually. Hold on. I know her birthday is. I just don't know when like, what sign that is. Let me. What's her birthday? Her birthday is in September and September 26.

Michelle Tea: Okay, so she's a Virgo or is that Libra? That might be Libra by then. Virgo. Libra cusp. Okay, well, that's the pull on. That was just like for my own. I have, like, nothing to offer about her astrology. I just was curious. I'm sorry, but that is the. That's okay. Danielle says she is a Libra. Okay. And it's Phillip's dog's birthday. Okay, so maybe Phillip has some insight. I love you guys. Okay, Melinda, I hope that that was helpful, and I wish you a lot of luck in, like, untangling. Is this friendship not more?

Querent: Yeah, it was definitely helpful just to hear confirmation. Like, this is a conversation we do need to have because I have been told by other people like, no, just leave it in the past, just try and move forward. They got the past and I'm like, okay, well, I still keep running into conflict and in the present and I feel like it might have something to do in the past. By the way, she talks to me sometimes, but.

Michelle Tea: Yeah, it's not the past for you. You know what I mean? It's alive inside of you the way all of our pasts can be. Right. So it needs to be addressed.

Querent: Yeah, well, thank you.

Michelle Tea: Well, good luck to you.

Querent: Thank you. All right. Bye.

Michelle Tea: Bye. All right, you guys, I got to go get some food. I got to go go eat with my husband or feed my child. I will be back next Thursday. I will not be in an Airstream in the woods. I will be at home. So we'll have less glitches. And I'll you know, every Thursday, 6:00 West Coast, 9:00 East Coast, please listen to back episodes on your magic feed over on Spotify. Welcome. Welcome. Tell your friends and hang out on discord and be friends with each other. Okay. Happy summer, everyone. Indeed, Reginald. Good night.

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Michelle Tea: Hi, friends. Remember to catch. Ask the tarot live right here on Spotify every Thursday at 9 p.m. Eastern. You can join me for a journey through the cycles of life, love, aspiration, all in real time. Want me to do a reading for you? Just download the Spotify Live app for free today. It's available in the App Store and you can join me every week I go live. You'll be able to meet really unique people, chat with other listeners, and even ask questions of your own. Remember, you can always listen to ask the Tarot live on Spotify every Thursday at 9 p.m. Eastern. Want to be part of the conversation? Download the Spotify Live app for free today and make sure to follow the Ask the Tarot show page to be notified every time we go live.

[Music][Music]

Michelle Tea: Hey, everyone. So thank you so much for tuning in. I am wondering, did you know that you can now join ask the Tarot every Thursday at 9 p.m. Eastern live on Spotify. That's right, live. But we all know the best part of tarot isn't just listening. It's getting your own cards read. Have a question about your future or your past, maybe about your love life or your career. I want to hear from you. All you have to do is download the Spotify Live app in your app store or click the link in our episode descriptions to sign up for free. Then follow ask the Tarot and the Spotify Life app to get notified every time I go live and hear what the tarot has in store. Why miss out on that?

[Music]

Michelle Tea: Hello, everybody. It is Michelle Tea, the host of Ask the Tarot Live and your friend and the author of Modern Tarot and the host of the Year Magic Podcast. Thanks, everybody, for being here. Hello, beautiful beings. Right back at you, Jasmine. It's so wild now to come to this room like a little bit before six and see that since my time, of course, and see that the chats are already popping off like you guys are. So great. Thank you so much for being here with all your wild enthusiasm and welcome to anybody who's here for the first time. Right the way. Oh, cool, cool, cool. I just saw somebody is here for the first time. I'm so excited. The way this works is it's real hard to get to all of you guys. In fact, it's impossible. But I will get to as many of you as I can. So if you want to ask a question, raise your hand and you'll just kind of go, you know, into a little line there and I'll get to you as soon as I can. And for those of you who are feeling, you know, a little shy, you have a question, but you don't want to speak or, you know, be on the spot. Here's what you can do. You can send me your questions over at Instagram. My Instagram handle is michelleteaz T-E-A-Z, right? And I'll get to them. You know, I'll put them. I have this, like, file like 42 page document with everyone's questions in it, and I'm going to get to them as soon as I can. But that sounded so whiny. I didn't mean it to sound whiny. It's just more like I want to answer everyone's questions, you know what I mean? All right. So I'm going to start right now with one that did come in through my Instagram.

And I really want to tell you guys, I love getting questions just also about tarot, like about your tarot practice. You know, like what do you do? How do you read tarot cards? So this was a very cute one. And it says, 'Can you do vibe check readings on pets just for practice and to learn the cards better?' Well, for sure. For sure. But also to know your pets a little better, too, right? I absolutely believe that you can do this. And I was very inspired to pull some cards on my own pets. So I did. I grabbed my she will tarot deck, one of my favorites. I will put pictures of all the decks that I use on my Instagram later today. Okay. So there's four animals in my house right now are non-human animals anyway. And so the first one I picked for is our doggie Brody. So Brody came with my husband, so is really bonded primarily to TJ, but is also just like a love and loves. Everybody is like truly like the best dog in the world. In fact, if TJ is like on here, Brodie is their avatar, so you can probably see them so and fall in love. So I picked three cards. Okay. And this is so interesting, you guys, especially because we went away for the weekend and Brody was here at home with my mother. And ever since we've been back, she's been, like, really kind of strange, right? And really glued to TJ's side, just, like, right on him, like sitting on his chest, gazing at him from across the room or like right in his face. She's just feeling, like, very. And then she'll go and sit in, like, a sad place, right? Like she'll go sit in the corner behind the door on top of one of my purses, which is very strange. So I'm like, okay, this is great because I actually want to know what's going on with Brodie. So the very first card I pick is, is lover's. Oh, my God. Okay. All right. Right. Who's her lover? The hair event. Oh, my God. It's the Taurus card. T.J. is a Taurus. T.J. is her lover. And then the moon. Oh, stop it. Three major arcana for this little puppy. And it's very clearly she's a little lovelorn right now. Her man went away. She doesn't understand why. You know, she especially, you know, went away over 4th of July when there was all that noise. And so she was like kind of freaking out. And now she just is realizing, like, where does she stand with him? So I'm like, you need to, like, spend some cuter, you know, with Brody and really just like put your four heads together and shoot pictures of love, like, right into her brain. That's what I like to do to animals when I'm trying to communicate with them. Okay. So then my familiar is this real rogue of an indoor outdoor cat named Birthday Rainbow. He is a murderer. He murders a lot of animals. I don't want to hear about it. Don't tell me to put a bell on him, because then coyotes will eat him. It's just. It's a problem that's bigger than me, okay? I can't I can't solve the problem of our. Of the natural imbalance of the world. So I'm not going to take that on. But I do have an indoor outdoor cat named Birthday Rainbow, and I frickin love him. And so the very first card I poll for Birthday Rainbow is the fool. And that is him, man. He is just like he'll jump off the roof like he has more than nine lives. He is Buckwild. So I got I got the school card for him. And he also I just feel like really loves life, you know? He's real handsome. Once I was walking back from the store and there were these three, like, young teenage girls that were, like, going and eyeing and freaking out in front of my the gate to my backyard. And I'm like, what is happening? And I get closer and they're just, like, drooling over birthday. He was just, like, rolling around on his back for them. So love it. The next card for birthday rainbow page of Cups. He's just a little baby. He's just learning how to be in the world. Right. He doesn't understand emotions. He doesn't understand why we get so mad when he, like, knocks a bass off the mantle and breaks it and just seems to have done it for no real good reason. And then the final card, four of lines like, he's good, he's solid, he likes us, he likes this home. He literally walked in off the street on my kid's third birthday and decided he was never going to leave. So I like this. I like this a lot. The birthday rainbow. I think he's good. But you guys, darkness is coming. The final pet in my household is a little hamster by the name of little. And I think Little's having dark times, you guys. Okay, so listen to the suite of cards that this hamster got. Now, just a little bit about the hamster. The hamster had a hard moment. The cat almost killed him. Okay, I did bring little into a home with, you know, a fierce predator, right? So. But we we thought he was safe. He was in the season, this giant three story rat cage. But what happened was he likes to climb along the edge. The cat whipped out him, ripped his face. He looked like a tiny hamster horror movie for a moment. It was very sad. It's called being too gloved. I guess it happens to a lot of prey animals. A lot. Oh, dang indeed, Jasmin. Oh, dang, indeed. But he's fine now. You'd never know anything like that ever happened to him. And now we keep him upstairs in the office. He's right behind me. He's always here during Ask the Tero, but check it. The very first card for him, the hand being. So maybe he doesn't like being away. I think he likes being like downstairs where all the people are all the time. And he feels maybe he's like, put it. He's put them placed in a room upstairs away for his own good. Kind of like the hanged man. Right? Then the nine of swords. Oh, my God. It's an anxiety card. Is he anxious? He does run on his hamster wheel all day night. And then finally, a card that's special for this deck of she will tarot Saturday. And I'm just like, oh, my God, this is really fucking heavy for a little hamster, right? And I'm like, What can I do for him? Like, this feels almost karmic. So then I pull another card for him, the hermit. It is karmic. And so here's what I think. I think that like little like this is Little's incarnation this time around, he's this little hamster. He's stuck up here. He knows he's in a cage. He doesn't love it. We put him in the ball. Sometimes I think that's just confusing. But like, he's working out his own karma. It's bigger than us, you know, just like the state of natural imbalance that allows my domesticated cat to go out and kill a bunch of natural birds in Glendale, California. An unnatural environment, I might add. So, you know, if this is all bigger than us, and sometimes that's the main message that the tarot gives you. So, yes, you can definitely check in. Oh, Christina, you feel like little the hamster in your in your current incarnation. Well, you're definitely as cute as little. I'm sorry that you feel like you're trapped in a cage, though. All right, let me let me get to you guys here in the room. I put these cards away. Anyway, the long answer to the short question. Yes, please pick cards for your for your animals. Who do we have here? We have Mara. Hello, Mara. How could the tarot help you today?

Querent: I wasn't even thinking you were going to pick me. I was like, Wow.

Michelle Tea: Surprise! Hello.

Querent: Oh, yeah, I've been, I, I also came over from two guys fungus, and I've been following your IG, so. Oh, yeah. So when you talk about your husband, I'm like, and I kind of like, trolled around, you know, I'm like, oh, it's cute like, oh, yeah.

Michelle Tea: Oh, my God, thank you.

Querent: Nice surprise, because I've been going through a whole lot.

Michelle Tea: Sorry to hear that. How can how can we help you out? What do you want to know about.

Querent: Um, basically, I just went through, like, a huge breakup, and I think it was with the with the karmic partner, because I did like, a semester. She did a bunch of stuff and like a couple, you know, somebody had told me that he was a karmic partner. And it just like once we, like, broke up, like, it's crazy because both of our parents got sick. Both like our mom and dad's got sick at like, basically the same time. Both of my parents are in the hospital right now, and, like, my mom's getting heart surgery tomorrow. Oh, goodness. I'm sorry.

Michelle Tea: Hey, you got a lot going on. It's okay to get choked up about it.

Querent: Yes, it's just like I am with my my job. It's like they were trying to, like, cut her salary and stuff like that. And I've been, like, staying positive. So I'm like, I guess, like the question asking. Like, for me, it's kind of like I kind of have a plan of things that I want to do, like finally following, like my dreams, you know, and, and that's probably like a weird time to do it, but because my, my worlds falling apart, definitely having a tower moment. Yeah. Like I can't seem to like. Still like my ex, even though he's like, I know he's not good for me. So I'm like, they probably just like. Maybe like you. I don't know. Like, if it's something I don't know. I guess I'm just asking the cards for guidance, you know? Okay.

Michelle Tea: How how long? When did you guys break up?

Querent: It was May 14th on the eclipse.

Michelle Tea: Damn. That's not that long. It's okay that you still feel a little shattered from it, especially since, like everything else you're going through, it's like I can imagine just really looking around yourself for like comfort and support and feeling that maybe a lot of your primary folks aren't in the picture right now. And that's going to be really hard.

Querent: Yeah. So I don't know, I guess like, you know, some sort of guidance or what I should be doing right now, you know?

Michelle Tea: Well, if you want to pick, it sounds like you've got some kind of plan brewing, which I like. Do you want me to pick on? Like, what does it look like if you go forward with this sort of plan that you have for yourself? Okay, let's see what that looks like. If you if you do that, if you if you go forward, even though, you know, whatever, the timing might not be great, who cares? You know, timing is rarely great. It looks really good for you. It looks like there might be an aspect of your plan that you might learn that is actually not for you as much as you thought it was. But I think, you know, especially if your plan has a lot of different components, it looks the very first card you get is the sun. And my gosh, what do you need on the heels of a breakup? Is the sun right? Going through a dark time? You want the sun, you're like, please come outside. So yeah, it's like taking these positive steps for yourself, you know, it's going to be really it's going to have a really strong and beautiful effect on you. The next card that comes up is the adjustment card. So I'm reading with the top deck and it's a riff on the justice card. So, you know, that's about having to make some decisions, having to make like really good decisions for yourself. So how about having to keep, keep things in harmony? And what's interesting is what comes after that is the ten of cups. Oh, my God. You know, I'm getting a vibe off of this that like do you and your ex have you guys, like, broken up, come together? Broken up?

Querent: Yeah.

Michelle Tea: Okay. You know, I wouldn't be surprised. The ten of cups I know in the rider-waite deck, the ten of cups is a very beautiful card, but in the top deck, it's not really it's sort of like been there, done that. What's next? So what's very interesting is I think that, you know, if there's a possibility because the adjustment card being the justice card is also a Libra card, it is about relationships, too. I wouldn't be totally surprised if like as you move forward, feeling really great if there's some sort of like, oh, like the X comes back around again or but like you're like, no, actually like I've leveled up my baseline and I don't actually want to say yes to things that aren't good for me because saying yes to things that are good for me is making me feel so good. I don't want to take that step backwards. So that's one read on it. Another read on it is just that, you know, as you're integrating whatever this like your plan, your new journey, your new steps forward as you're integrating those things for yourself, there just might be something that you're like, Oh, I thought that was going to be a little more exciting. And it's not. And that's okay. Like, you can you can figure that out. The main thing here, I think, is the sun card is going to give you such a burst of energy and give you so much life that you've done, that you do what you do for yourself and that you know it's going to bring into a place where you have to make additional decisions to go forward. It looks really good to me.

Querent: Yeah, it's funny because you say adjustment and I'm a Libra.

Michelle Tea: Oh you are oh man.

Querent: Yeah, I Libra with the Sagittarius moon and my ex was a Sagittarius and we're both like Sagittarius, stelliums. So.

Michelle Tea: So I mean, you got Sagittarius people with a lot of sag will just keep running headfirst into the same wall again and again. If it looks like an exciting wall or a philosophically challenging wall or like, you know, if there's something about it. So I can see I say that as somebody who also has a sex stallion and I ran into a lot of walls. But I do see that like, yeah, you know, that is very interesting that you are a Libra, you know, and that the adjustment card is, is one of your cards. So actually that paired with the sun can make me feel like, you know, your son is in, you know, Libra is in the adjustment card, that it really could be about getting more deeply connected and taking actions that align you sort of with like your essence, like put in a place that you really ought to be, if that makes sense.

Querent: Yeah. I've been you know, one of the things that I've been doing, I've been learning how to do tarot as well, and I've been playing a lot of the high priestess and the hangman and the hermit. So I'm like, Oh, all these.

Michelle Tea: The hermit is the ultimate breakup card fight. I think it is the I when the hermit card comes up, I'm always like, you know, did you just. Are you in a breakup? And like, the answer is generally, yes, I am in a breakup. So, you know. Yeah, but you know, that High Priestess is really beautiful. It shows that there's really something here for for you to kind of grow through. And, you know, I don't know, see someone about a cord cutting. I think they're really helpful. I've definitely gone to energy workers. You know, there is this theory. There's an idea in circles that when we're very intimate with somebody and very vulnerable with them, they it's almost like there's a cord between us and them. Right. And it's not just with lovers, it's also with family members and people who are very close and have a big impact on us. And, you know, there's an idea that you can energetically cut those cords and ask everything that belongs to that other person to go back to them and to also take everything that belongs to you back into your own body, and then just release all the other shit right into the earth. So I have found those rituals to be helpful. So, you know.

Querent: I just want to, like, cause it's like because he's a, he is like a twin flame. Like I did have some one of my friends that I guess in history that he has a karmic debt to me. But he kind of, like, really messed me up. Like, this time around, I'm like, you're just securing more. More karma. Well.

Michelle Tea: That's what it sounds like. It's like, I don't think it's like you can police each other. You can just go and stand in the sun, ten of cups. That means that you're at the end of an emotional cycle and you're ready for a new emotional cycle, for new emotional challenges. Not the same old emotional challenges.

Querent: He drinks a lot and. It's getting worse and worse. It's getting worse and worse. Yeah. And he was bringing me down like, you know, I'm like the sunshine and he's like. They're like, he was just, like, basically sucking my happiness out. It's like, we know when you still love somebody, like you want to help them.

Michelle Tea: Yeah. But, you know, especially with addicts, helping an addict in enabling an addict sometimes look like the same thing.

Querent: He doesn't think it's a problem, you know, but he drinks every day. He might not be like he's a high functioning alcoholic. So he thinks he he has it together, you know?

Michelle Tea: Well, I just think whatever this plan is for you, I hope that it helps you just put that focus, take your focus off of him and put it back on yourself. It's the number one. I mean, that's the essence of the sun card, you know, filling yourself up with light and your own love, putting all that caring concerning energy into yourself and then, you know, bringing that out into the world.

Querent: Yeah. I just want confirmation that I'm doing the right thing to, like, let him go. And, yeah, in my dreams, you know.

Michelle Tea: The sun is your is your dream. The sun is a star. So it's sort of like going after your star, going after what you're meant to do in this lifetime. It's not take care of a person in that way now.

Querent: So hard, though.

Michelle Tea: She's so much like you have a lot of support back in with us.

Querent: I will thank you.

Michelle Tea: You're welcome bye. Man. Once alcoholism came into the mix I was like, damn, no, no, no. We can't have that. We can't have that. It's too stressful. Alcoholics need to take care of themselves. I say, as an alcoholic who hopefully took care of herself. Okay. Here is here's quite a question that came in, you guys. Alright. 'I am currently in a relationship with someone I share a child with. And our relationship has been pretty hard lately, to be honest. It's had several rough patches for as far back as I can remember. To make matters more challenging, we have been living with his parents for the last year or so while we look for a house. But nothing has really opened up or changed and I'm beginning to think maybe it never will. I am so over living in this house with his family and basically my anxiety is triggered daily just being here as we have a lot of personality clashes. The only time I can seem to find true inner peace is when I'm at work, where I work in a beautiful green house with so many lovely and kind souls. I've been at my job for almost a year now, and over time I've developed strong feelings for someone I work with. To be specific, it's my supervisor. I feel such strong feelings towards him and I sense that maybe they feel similarly. Although I don't know for sure because of my situation at home, it feels weird to share my feelings with them, but I'm wondering what it would look like if I did. Would this totally change the work dynamic for the worse? Should I continue working here or look for a different job? Could you check in on the energy of our dynamic? This person feels special to me and I have not had feelings for anyone in several years. I'm feeling very confused and very stuck. There's no way I could financially support myself and my child if I were to leave the situation I'm in now, at least not for a while. I truly don't know what to do. Helping you in the tarot can help.'.

Wow. That's a there's a lot of problems here. I mean, the main problem that is being asked is, should I tell should I tell my supervisor that I have a crush on him, which honestly feels like the least of your worries. Right? I mean, it's it looks like a like a catalyst, right? You're being catalyzed to think about shaking up your life because you've connected with somebody who is very special. I have no doubt this person is very special. I have no doubt that you're very special and that you have a really sweet and inspiring, you know, energy that sort of maybe is showing you that other cool things are possible. So. Whoa. Okay. I want to know so much more here, right? Like, I want to know like, you know, several rough patches for as far back as you can remember. Like, how long is that? You know, is there what does a rough patch look like? I don't know. Anyway, not only did I pick the cards that our parents requested, you will not be surprised to know that I picked. I picked some cards that I. That I wanted to know about. Right. So, okay, what if I shared my feelings with my supervisor? Okay. So what's very interesting is the very the middle card for this is the world. I'm using a really beautiful deck called the vendor deck. It's very sort of watercolor and minimalist. Whoa, whoa, whoa. Okay. This is a really big deal for you. This is at the very least, like I was saying, a really big catalyst. Even if this isn't something that is like you guys are meant to be together. You know, the thing that feels like a big red flag to me is this idea of sort of like hopping relationships, you know? I mean, I don't know. For all I know, you guys are poly. You know, I haven't felt like this in a long time. Maybe. Maybe it's okay that you have a crush and that you're willing to share on your supervisor. I don't know what the situation with your with your partner is, but, you know, it looks like this is this is really a big thing, but it doesn't look good. You know, it looks like a weird situation where you might you might have to kind of get it, let the cat out of the bag because you feel the need for that type of just to purge it, you know? But five of cups and three of swords, disappointment and sorrow. I don't know that they feel the same. Maybe they do feel the same, but they are not willing to get involved because it's work or because you are married. You know, it looks like it looks like this is your truth right now, but it looks like it's it plays out, you know, you're not going to get what you want. A big thing with the five of cups is that expectations are dashed. So when when when the five of cups is in your future. I always want people to think, you know, what are my expectations here? Okay. Even if you think you don't have any, you got a hope, right? What is it? Can you dial it back a little bit? Okay. What does it look like for you to keep working at this place? This is a question that you asked. I think it's really interesting that it sounds like you are in sort of a really rough patch right now. A rough place. This place is the only thing giving you joy, but you're willing to leave it. I think that's really interesting. And I just want you to think about that. Okay. So if you keep working here, it's really interesting that the lovers card so, you know, you got the lover's card, the page of cups and the chariot. So. I am I am building off of the fact that you just got a hard reading for telling your supervisor that you care about them, right? When the lovers card comes up, it usually means like there's a decision to be made. Like something, something. A decision has to be made. It's usually about a love situation and it's it's very challenging and it really can alter the course of your immediate future. So you're having to make some sort of choices of the choice to stay there. Is it the choice to have told, you know, your supervisor? The page of cuts is really a novice when it comes to emotional situations. Right. This is someone who's just learning about relationships and about the world of emotions. So I'm thinking this is maybe you you know, if you've been sort of trapped in a relationship that has not been feeding you emotionally, maybe it's been stunting you. And now all of a sudden that that kind of part of your your self is being opened up by these feelings, like it's very page of cups. You also got the chariot. The chariot is a card about leaving. Moving on. Right. So very, very interesting to get a card about leaving in the reading about staying whether or not to stay at this job does feel like it's really a really big important question. I mean, the chariot is also a positive card, right? It could be that, you know, you decide to stay there and work through whatever awkwardness happens between you and your supervisor and just accept that you're the page of cups. You, you know, you took a chance, which is always kind of a sweet thing to do. Or it could be that you ultimately you decide to stay, but you ultimately find that it's too hard. Now looking at like, what does it look like for you to leave? I mean, it's really kind of vague, to be honest. You got the full card, so it is a rash thing to do, right? Sometimes full energy is great. It's one of my favorites. Right. I wanted more cards to sort of color the type of fool that it is. But what I got is the page of Pentacles and the King of Cups. So again, another page. And I feel like you where are maybe the page energy here. Right in the first question. The last question, rather. Page of cups. You're not really quite sure you're a novice at handling your emotional world. And then the page of Pentacles with looking for a new job. Is there something sort of like, are you having to start over again? Do you not have a ton of job skills? Is this a sort of like wild, wild thing for you to do? I suggest Jasmin as a question, like, is, is the person, the supervisor available or single right or heterosexual? I don't know. We don't know. I don't know any of these things. I'm like, I'm getting a gay vibe off the supervisor psychically. Then you got the king of cups. So this is interesting. I'm feeling like, who's the king of cups in your life? Probably it's the supervisor. It's this, you know, a mask person, masculine person who's holding sort of all the emotional power, you know, for right now. So it seems like if you go look for another job, you're sort of being driven out of your work place or allowing yourself to be driven out of your workplace by this situation. So it's I don't know. It doesn't look great. You know, I look great cards for you, Aquarius. I want greatness. The energy of your dynamic. What is it, do you ask? I pulled cards. It's you know, it's really interesting that I was like, is this person a catalyst? You know, a lot of people, for better or worse, I tend to think it's for worse. The only way they get out of a relationship is by sort of setting up another one to jump into. This is not uncommon. I think that we probably all have seen people do this. Maybe we have done this, maybe it's been done to us, maybe all three. Right. So is this what's happening? If might be in a sense, it's not terrible. The middle card you have is the three of wands. So there is a really positive aspect to your dynamic. The three wands is really beautiful. It's called a virtue. You know, I think, again, that this person is triggering in you feelings that you haven't felt for a long time, maybe inspiring you to think about yourself in a different way, in a different light that feels really good and powerful. It's nice, you know, like, I don't think this is a bad person, but the other two cards that you have for the nature of your dynamic, it's the page of swords and death. Okay. So yeah, like, is this dynamic meant to catalyze you into waking up to your situation? Is it, you know, is it really just about you? You know, it might be like you know, it really might be. This is kind of a lot about you again, with the page, right? I think you're really being represented by the pictures, the pages in this reading, the page of Swords wants to destroy. She's done. She wants to destroy. And the death card, obviously, is about things dying, right? Things things being dead. So it's I think that, like, there's something about this dynamic that's making you recognize how dead your relationship is for you right now. And you want to destroy it. You want to sabotage. It's you know, it's not it's not a crazy desire in the midst of something that feels so hard. Is this right? It really it really isn't. Is it is it your only way out? Is it your best way out? I'm not sure.

So you know what have you stay with your husband, okay. And with I ask this now we're getting into the questions that I'm asking because I'm just like, okay, I have a lot of questions here. All right. Sarah feels like I'm talking to her. I'm not Sarah, this is not your question. But, you know, we hear things for a reason sometimes, right? So what does it look like? Questions if you stay with your husband, but like not in the way that you've been doing it, like we're just resigned to each other in this shitty situation right now, you know? No, that's not going to work. You need what does it look like if you're like, hey, I'm like, I'm like a foot and a half out the door here. Like, I'm like fallen in love with other people. Like, this is, you know, like, we need to we need to do something, like, are you willing to do something with me? The first the first one you got is the eight of desks. And that is a really, really great card. It is really about, you know, having like like I think that there's a way that if you guys could maybe sit down and really communicate each other with each other in a way that maybe you haven't in a long time, maybe you never have, take a chance, do something different. I think you can see that like you, you do have something that you share that is meaningful. There's worth to it. Okay. The next one for of was like, okay, against a there are some stability here. There is, you know, a there's you guys there's a foundation that you have built, right? And then the five of swords, okay? Like there's a lot that you guys need to kind of almost fight about. I mean, I don't. Want to tell you to fight about it because, like, fighting never really helps anything, I don't think. But it's, you know, you might find that you're not going to you don't get what you want. Okay. Or that it's very, very hard. Maybe you guys need some couples counseling. I don't know. I don't know. What does it look like for you to leave this relationship? And when I asked this question, it wasn't. Leave this relationship and run into the arms of your supervisor, what have you. Leave this for you because you're like, I don't want this dynamic. I don't want this situation. I think I really hear you when you're like, I can't afford that right now. You know, I'm I'm I don't want to like, ignorantly challenge that because it's rough to be a single parent. It's rough to be low income. But I do want you to think about every single frickin resource that you might have available to you, okay? Every single one. Because I want to really believe in my heart that we're not trapped. No one is trapped except little. The hamster who put himself there in a past life. Okay, but you're not. You're not little. The hamster, you know, it looks rough for you to leave. But here's the here's what's interesting for you to stay. Looks like it's good. And then it actually you hit a wall and you're like, actually, we can't work through this. And that's like the opposite for leaving. At first. It's really hard, right? You get the eight of cups and that's a that's a hard card, right? You're just like, oh, you just you just feel like, oh, god, I just left this whole thing. You know, I really want you to ask yourself, like, what part of you really feels like you need to be partnered? I'm wondering, like, do you feel like you need to be partnered or you need to be with, like, a guy? Like, look at those aspects of yourself because you you don't have to you can you can, you know, choose to be with anybody, you know. But maybe from a place of getting back into your strength a little bit, you have the five of wands. It looks stressful to be on your own. It looks really stressful. And then ace of wands, a breakthrough and you're starting a new cycle. So, yeah, I'm not. I'm not, you know. Yes, it is. It looks hard. What about moving the fuck out of your in-laws house? Knight of Wands, strength and the Queen of Cups. With or without your husband, you can get out of this house like. Is it hard? Yes. Do you just have to fucking do it? Yes. I mean, maybe you would rather live in like a roach motel than share space that makes you anxious all day having personality clashes. Right. I think it would be good for you to get out of there. And I also wanted to know, do you need help with your anxiety? Because I get that you're in a situation that would provoke anxiety. But the way you spoke about your anxiety, the way that you call it, like my anxiety, I'm like, oh, your anxiety. You sound very familiar with it. You can have some ownership over it. I understand. I, I also know my own anxiety. So what have you also looked at your anxiety? Because when we get our anxiety under control, we're able to, like, take bigger chances that help us in our life. So first card, seven of cups in this deck, the vendor deck, it's like somebody is like drowning and reaching for a cup in the sky. So I can understand if you're just like, this isn't going to help me, you know? It's like you have a wall up against it or you have some kind of story. Y You can't do it, but also it looks like you're drowning a little bit. The next card immediately after six of cups, poof. Dry ground, right, higher ground. There's even you're even flying a kite. There's even a kite in the picture. There's emotional relief on this path for you. There's also the nine of desks, which is a really great solid card. It's very, very good. So yeah, I see. I see that I've picked way too many cards for one person but didn't what you concerned? I was real concerned. I was like I got to I can't just answer. I have to I have to look into what's not being said as well as what is being said. So tell your tell your supervisor how you feel about them. Look at it as the catalyst that it is. Look at your own psychology. Why are you still in this relationship? Do you feel like you need to be with the person? What happens if you stand on your own feet? Don't leave that job because it gives you life. Do take care of your anxiety and get the hell out of your in-laws house. This is all going to be hard. It's not going to be easy. But you can do it. Okay. All right. Good luck to you.

All right. If you are just like, what the hell am I listening to right now, let me tell you, you're listening to ask the tarot live. I'm doing tarot readings. Raise your hand. I'll call on folks in the room. You can also send me your problems to my Instagram @michelleteaz T-E-A-Z. And I want to let you guys know that I do this every Thursday, 6:00 on the Pacific Coast and 9:00 on the Atlantic Coast. And if you want to listen to back episodes, you can do that. Go over to Spotify and just search for your magic. It's my podcast and all the back ask. The tarot rooms are right there too. You can listen to them. And what else? And I want to tell you, oh, your magic has merchandise, you guys, we have frickin adorable, gorgeous shirts by a beautiful. Art artist Nupur Toxie. And it's like, if you're a Firesign, you can get the fire goddess. We have the water goddess. The air goddess. Oh, I saw that. April loves the designs. Thank you. I'm so happy that you love them. We also have dad caps for the dads in your life or the dad vibes in your life. So please check that out. And we're doing a survey because we really want to figure out like how to best serve you guys, you know, our listeners, our community. And if you fill out the survey, you can, you know, be entered into like a raffle to win some merch and a private tarot reading with me, you know, the whole hour, the whole shebang. So go check out your magic's website. This is your magic dot com, and you'll find all of that stuff there. And you can also find us on Instagram at This Is Your Magic, and that will also lead you towards all of these things I'm talking about and even more. Okay. Yes, thank you. Lacey, go get a shirt there. So cool. They're really cool. Okay, Meg, you are up right now.

Querent: Hi, how are you?

Michelle Tea: I'm good. How are you doing here?

Querent: Well, actually, I wanted to ask a question because I you know, maybe things in my life haven't been so great. And I want to see, like, if the tarot can tell me that good things are coming down the pipeline, or maybe what should I do to, you know, to have some more control over my life and get good things going?

Michelle Tea: Okay. Is there any particular area of life that you want to know about more than others? Is it like the whole shebang?

Querent: It's pretty much the whole shebang. But, you know, like health, which I know is sort of iffy with tarot and then relationships, money, housing. I had called you before and we did a tarot reading and it looks like I'm still waiting on housing. So you did a little card pulling where it was supposed to be four or five months. And I think that's going to be months.

Michelle Tea: And I'm sorry, Meg. It's really hard to figure out time with cards.

Querent: Yeah.

Michelle Tea: Okay, so let me see. I want to know what you can do to sort of jump start some positive energy into all these areas of your life. Yes.

Querent: Yeah. And sort of like what's going on, because I really feel like I've made some good decisions in my life and sort of some accidents happen, like maybe, you know, just sort of like around somebody who, you know, maybe taking consequences for other people's actions rather than for my life. If that makes sense. I'm sorry. I'm a little you know.

Michelle Tea: You're being so vague. I want to be able to help you.

Querent: I'll tell you just it really roughly like I built like a really nice life for myself so-so happy and I was assaulted from behind that there's a two drunk people in a fight. And I got repeatedly. Yeah. Oh. And then three months later, you know, basically the same thing happened. And then three months after that, I was in a car accident because I was at a complete stop and somebody was texting and didn't stop and their car went underneath my car. Mad. I know. And so, I mean, I even I was doing really good work in the community. I really I won awards. I really was living a very productive, nice life. And I've just been so shocked about how, you know, people will be there for the first accident, sort of hands off with the second with the third one. It's it gets to really like monster behavior from people like, you know, my partner in business. He told me that he couldn't help me because he needed to get something from me. I needed to become his mistress, and then he could help me. Yeah. Right. Yeah. So I'm sort of in Crazytown right now, and I want to figure out, like, ah.

Michelle Tea: I'm really sorry. Well, what do you want? What do you want? What do you feel like, your options are like?

Querent: I need to get recovered from this car accident, like there, you know. So I don't know if that means that I need to leave the country the way that insurance and is. If you're in a car accident, most doctors won't see you and then you're on a waiting list for years. And then they tell you that they can't see you because you've you know, it's been X amount of time after the accident and you're like, well, so like, I don't really know what I need to do for medical care. Do I go abroad? Which I would love to do. And by the way, me and my brother were doing it and he actually passed away right before we could do it. So it's like whatever sort of out I find, whatever sort of, you know, good direction I find it's like, you know, it really it's surprising how it works out. Not in my favor.

Michelle Tea: It's really intense. It's like a lot. Yeah. These are all these are a lot of things to live through and, you know, one after the other. And I'm really sorry. Let's see what it looks like for you to go abroad. 

Querent: And I was even thinking about, like, in, like a car insurance agent. He told me that he couldn't buy all the appropriate paperwork because I needed to move into his house and let him give me massages. Right. And that's nuts. So that costs a lot of money to prove in court. And maybe I should reach out to, I don't know, some sort of lawyer or something like that. But I feel like I've reached out to so many lawyers to help. And unfortunately, you find out that it's a moneymaking industry. So it's not about like, what did this person do? How egregious was it? It's can I make money off of it? And like, I don't know, I was thinking about trying to reach out to somebody like a journalist or something like that and just ask them there, you know? So just, I don't know, I'm so rambling and nervous and this is like this is a lot to talk about. I is true. I don't think that tarot can solve this, but.

Michelle Tea: Well, now, you know, but I can kind of help a little bit, right? So yeah.

Querent: So it's like my question for tarot is what the f what's going on.

Michelle Tea: You know. Yeah, I mean, who fucking knows? We're living under random rock and spinning in space, right? Like, why anything happens. And, like, there's so much pain and random violence and sadness in the world. And so it's like, yeah, how do you how do you hold onto your resiliency in the face of that when you feel like you're just getting slapped around by it, by the universe? Right. I want to say that, you know, listening to you talk and shuffling, I'm just like, you really need a huge restart. Like a huge energetic restart, you know, where you cut your losses, as unjust as that might be, to have to do those things. And you know, and when you were like, Oh, I want to move abroad, I'm like, Ooh, wow, that's that feels like a real cutting of the losses and a real like a big energetic restart. And the cards that I just pulled for you from moving abroad, you got the star in the Aeon. Well, that's really, really great. I mean, the star is all about like reach for the stars. Like what's the maybe kind of radical but really visionary thing that you truly want in your heart, you know, and that you wanted to do this with your brother. And I'm sure it's tainted by the sadness of not having him. But then I wonder, is it also infused a little bit with the magic of of his, you know, of his hand in it somehow also that you're going you're going forward and doing it, you know, for for the both of you, you know, with him sort of like. I don't know. On your shoulder, in a way. The Aeon is really, really great. The Aeon is literally a new beginning, which is what you need, right? Yeah. The Aeon is. The Aeon is a riff on the judgment card. So it does ask you to look back and be like, you know, all right, what do I want to take with me? And what do I fucking not want to take with me? Like, what am I throwing in the dumpster before I leave? And so it looks like that could be a very powerful moment for you. It's a major arcana card. The cards that you have in the middle is the seven of disks. Okay. And so that's really interesting. This is what you're fighting against to get this plan off the ground is, you know, and I just want to say that the seven of disks is no match for the star and the aeon. So you can do it, but don't be surprised when you know what comes up is a sense that like if things aren't moving fast enough, you're like, this plan is cursed, this isn't expanding, you know, this is just another thing. I mean, it must be really hard not to write a story after coming through so many negative events. You know, just one negative event can can cause somebody to write a story in their head, you know, who they are and what's in store for them. So, you know, I can really imagine. But, you know, yeah, you it's it's really the seven the seven is of disks is a fear of failure card. And so it's like what you want, you know, the disks are earth. They want to be growing. And when the seven comes up, things, there's like a pause. Things aren't moving as fast as you want them to. And so a lot of doubt creeps and a lot of panic creeps and self-sabotage can creep in. So I say, you know, whatever that plan was to move forward, that's you're out talking to a journalist like that actually could be very it actually could be gratifying and give you a sense of care of being carried forward to talk to somebody who cares. Unfortunately, you're also going to have to talk to some people who don't care. You got the ace of cups, the eight of cups and the nine of comes. This is you know, it's really interesting. It's like to me, it's saying that the urge to talk to, like a journalist is really about like it's it's like it's not even it's like you need that emotional support. Like you need your pain to be seen by someone. It doesn't even necessarily matter whether or not like, you know, you get your payout, you get your doctor's appointment. It's more like, can somebody see what I've been through here? And, you know.

Querent: You know actually. I mean, I, I actually don't want to talk about the accents ever again. Like, I really need money to pay for the medical. And that's been the most the biggest hurdle is not having medical and not having any of the insurance for resolve. But it sounds like if I do contact a journalist, it'll just be about the story and no justice will be served.

Michelle Tea: I wouldn't say no justice will be served. The nine of cups is called happiness and I do think you get something satisfying in your index. So it could be it could be the justice. I mean, it's not a money card. Right. So you have to understand that, you know, this isn't necessarily like where you get your money, but it does look like there's something important there for you. And I'm sure you don't want to talk about it again, but at this time, you might want what comes from having talked about it. Right, with the aid, of course. It's also telling me that, like, you're probably also going to have to like kiss a few frogs before you find the writer that wants to do something with you, that wants to work on this with you. But that that writer is out there.

Querent: I mean, and just to be clear, I wanted to contact a journalist to see if they knew like a an attorney who could do something. Because, you know, if somebody writes about something, then they're well connected and they're, you know, like if they write about insurance or automobile stuff, then they'll be connected. But it sounds like that's interesting.

Michelle Tea: I say I say you need to just you know, if you're looking for for health, like a system of health care, that's not a total dumpster fire like is go where you can get health care, go abroad. It looks rejuvenating and regenerating for you in ways beyond just getting your health care sorted.

Querent: Sorry for the too much information.

Michelle Tea: The more I know as a tarot reader. The more I can be helpful. So thank you for joining me with your story.

Querent: Take care.

Michelle Tea: You take care, too. Okay. Hey. All right. Wow. Wow. So never too much information here. Says Sophie and I could not agree more. Let's see. Who else? Who else is too much information? Can we. Can we have Jackie? You are up right now. Hello.

Querent: Hey, Michelle. How are you?

Michelle Tea: Good. How are you?

Querent: Good. All right. So I guess. Well, I kind of wanted to ask, so mine is going to be more about my career path. Uh huh. So right now I have a three option. So I am a makeup artist, so I'm doing that right now. But I did get a really good. I applied for a different job just because I felt like it was needed. So I went for like a more luxury retail job and they actually accepted me and asked me to come and do this. And then I also have I got asked to be an apprentice for a tattoo shop. Yeah. So I just kind of really want to know, like, if I should work more on my art or if I should just stop doing art completely and just focus more on retail.

Michelle Tea: Okay, I'll just put three cards on art now. I'm pulling three cards on. Well, three cards on. Yeah. On your this opportunity that you just were offered to do the luxury work. And now I'm going to shuffle and and ask, what does it look like for you to take the tattoo apprenticeship? How cool that you have so many options. And I love that for you. Yeah. And they all look imperfect yet. Good, which I hate. So. Okay, the least the least helpful one to me looks like staying in. You said you're a makeup artist.

Querent: Yeah.

Michelle Tea: Okay. Got it. Yeah. It looks like, you know, continuing to do that work for some reason. Are you just, like, over it?

Querent: No. It's more of like me getting harassed at work from like other not my not from like my actual, like, calendar or anything like that. Just people around me.

Michelle Tea: Okay. Because like, yeah, it looks like, you know, for, for staying with doing makeup, you know, staying with your makeup artistry. You have the wealth card, the ten of desks. So it's like, okay, like you can definitely make a living doing that. Like it's stable for you, but then you have the ten of swords ruined, right? A terrible cart, and then the five of of wands strife, which is about a lot of conflict and drama. So yeah, that it looks like, you know, the way that the way that you have it, the way that that you're that you're able to do that work right now. Yeah, that situation is not good for you. But, but I think that, you know, I don't know if there's a way to get a different scenario where you're not working around a bunch of horrible people because it looks good for you with the wealth card, you know, for a career reading. Now, looking at the working, the luxury retail, that looks really interesting that there's a lot that that can give you. It's that you got the queen of wands. So like you definitely feel like elevated in this environment and doing this work and you're good at it. You have a lot of energy for it, a lot of passion for it. You might even be able to, like, continue to rise and get sort of like management or, I don't know, whatever, whatever is available for folks to kind of rise in that place. You also got the four of desks, Power, Sun and Capricorn, which is great for career. You know, Capricorn is the career sign. So I love when cards like that come up. It looks super stable. But I'm concerned because in the middle you have the ten of wands, which to me says that like, you know, at some point you're going to be like, Why did I think I want to work here? But that might not happen for years, right? I think what it's saying is that there's really something you can get out of this. But like, it's not your it's not your end all, be all. You're going to move on from there. At some point you're going to hit a wall with it. Does that make sense?

Querent: You know, yeah, that definitely makes sense because what I was just thinking is I wanted to which is funny that you say about my first book is I did get offered like a whole nother story basically just because I am doing management. And that's kind of where I'm like in the middle of it's like they asked me if I wanted to go work in another store with other people and then this luxury place where what I want to do is I just really want to use it to get in there, I guess, and then eventually just move up. Because if I get, I'm going to be moving straight to management. So it's, it's both like very similar. So that makes a lot of sense.

Michelle Tea: Okay. That that is that's really cool. Okay. That's and I like that you already know that you're like, yeah, I just want to like get in there and like get all of that kind of power and get all of that, you know, the experience that you can then bring on to your that whatever your next stop is, you know something, the it looks like the Apprentice thing looks a little rough. Like it looks like you're going to be working a lot. You've got the Prince of Swords, the hanged and work. And so to me, it looks like is this maybe not the best scenario for you? Like apprenticing with tattooing I think is good for you. I pulled another card and I got like the six of desks. It's like obviously you're like, you're talented and you could have like a future like growing and doing this. But I'm wondering if it's going to just feel like The Apprentice, you know, being kind of kept away from like, you're not going to be able to grow as much as you want to grow. Like you're going to be you're going to be kept in that apprentice role for like too long. Does that make sense?

Querent: No, that definitely makes sense. Just because. Just because that's what I was thinking about, you know, like, I don't know how long it would take in the can't really guarantee you. So I was really happy. Thank you.

Michelle Tea: Yeah, that's. That's going to, like, eat at you, I think a little bit. What sign are you?

Querent: I'm a Taurus with Pisces. Pisces?

Michelle Tea: Okay. Oh, wow. That's great. Oh, my God. Is a Pisces. Pisces working in luxury retail like. I love that. I love that. For you, that looks like the way to go. I would say out of your you know, unless you want unless you I mean, you know, did you say you do have the opportunity to work elsewhere in your in your make up world?

Querent: Yeah, definitely. Yeah, they said I was allowed to do that, but I don't know. I'm really feeling like these last couple of days I was really iffy on if I should just move because I don't like change. So. Being able like just this morning I woke up and I was like, okay, this is what I have to do and I'm going to just probably Shahzad. So hearing that is very comforting.

Michelle Tea: Okay. All right. Good. Well, I'm glad that that was helpful for you. Well, you're welcome. Have a good night. Right. I you know, I have barely looked at the chat today, but it just seems like it's it's like wild you guys, right? Oh, my God. It's wild, wild, wild. I love you guys. I love how supportive you are of each other. Folks, we have a discord, so you can kind of keep this party going after this. Right. Which I also love. Okay, we get some more times. Let me see. I have this came in for me and it's another like I'm living. I'm living with my partner's parents. Yeah. Okay. 'Without going into too many details, my husband and I live with my mother in law. She had a series of strokes in the summer of 2020 and almost didn't make it. But now she's disabled, mostly in a wheelchair, slowly regaining strength. The way this works out was that his oldest sister was initially taking care of her. His parents are divorced but dropped the news on us that she was moving out. When we started planning our elopement, we had gotten engaged before his mother had the strokes. We would be moving in and becoming caretakers two weeks after we got back from our honeymoon.' Wow. That's that's intense. Okay. 'My husband is absolutely fantastic and is truly appreciative of the big sacrifice I've made to help his family. But I feel trapped. The situation is very ambiguous. I am a person who values alone time and is very independent, but there is no clear answer to how long we will have to do this. Will she recover enough to where we can be on our own again? I don't like to think about it, but will we be here until she passes away? We both work full time in different shifts, so coming home and doing extra laundry, cooking extra meals, sorting medication, driving to appointments, etc. is emotionally draining for me. I think this is even harder for me because I spent most of my childhood and teen years helping my mom take care of my grandparents, declining health. She truly ran herself into the ground taking care of us and our house cost them. She struggled a lot with the stress and anxiety and took it out on our family much of the time. I had been in this caretaker role for so long already. I always told myself I'd never let myself be in a situation like that again. Isn't it funny how the universe proves you wrong? But anyway, I guess some questions for the tarot card. What does my future hold in my home life and caretaking situation? Well, my mother in law recover well, she will. We be able to live alone as a married couple at some point. Thanks for reading this and I don't know if this will help, but I'm an Aries sun, Cancer moon and Sag rising.' Wow, wow, wow, wow. We just really hearing about a lot. It feels like tonight is a lot about, you know, circumstances beyond our control. Right? Like, what do we do when circumstances beyond our control have us feeling trapped, especially when it feels like it's someone else's circumstance, right? Like a partner's circumstance. But damn. Yeah. What do we do? What do we do?

Querent: Okay, so I grabbed my Maasai tarot deck, and I wanted to know what does the future of caretaking look like? And the first card that came up, this is a French deck, right? Roy Tibetan. And that's the that's the king of wands. And I feel like this is you, Aries, this is you. So it's really important to understand, right, that like you are somebody who you don't have a ton of patience for this. And I really want to speak to, you know, your history and your triggers with it. Right. That's really powerful. And that, you know, on top of that, being this Aries like wanting a lot of space, wanting to be able to do your own thing, wanting freedom is the very first card that came up in regards to this. So it is really showing that it's hard for you. The next card is another one's card. It's the nine of wands. And this is a card about you know, this is when it's not good, it's not good. The nine of wands. It is about feeling under siege. Right. So we're looking at, you know, basically asking like, what does this look like? You know, it kind of in the near future, it looks like it's going to continue to be really frickin rough on you. Okay. It looks like it looks like it's going to be what it is. Then you get the four of cups. You know, the four of cups with the four cups, things might stabilize a little bit, right. But not quite enough to trust it. So it's interesting, you know, if you think I'm looking at the Maasai deck, which just shows four cups, but in the rider-waite, we have the person who's has four cups being presented to him and he doesn't like any of that. Right. It's not it's not it's not enough. And then in the rider-waite I'm sorry, in the top deck, it's about everything's beautiful. The cups are beautiful, but the waves are choppy and we can't really trust it. So either way, there might be a little movement, but it's not going to be enough to bring you out of the state that you're and the the state of of upsets that you're in about this. Okay. You asked about your mother in law. What is her health look like moving forward? The very first card that comes up is Reign Dippy, the queen of Swords. I'm guessing this is this woman, you know, and she is a woman, you know, classically, the queen of swords is a woman alone. She is either a widow or. You know, she's just she's on her own and she doesn't have romance in her life. I just think that this is who this is. What's really great is you got the next card is the six of disc's success and the physical world, right, where our physical bodies live. So I do believe that she is going to get a little better. But then, you know, on the other side, the lady coupe, it's a valet, it's a page page of cups. And that's really interesting. I feel like this is a caretaker, the page of cups. This is a person who's actually kind of learning how to be learning more about the world of emotions. Right? Learning about the emotional realm, the realm of feelings, the realm of compassion, commitment. I am in no way saying that you are ignorant of these things, but I think this is a master class, right? This is a big lesson. I think this woman is going to get better, but I think she's still going to require care from from you and your husband for a while. So what are you going to do? Will you guys ever be alone again? That was the question that you asked. And I'm here to happily tell you, yes, you guys will be alone again. The very first card that came up is the lover, right? And I'm like, Oh, this is important. You know, that is a you know, basically a yes card. But then you got the I'm sorry, the ace of disks, right? So a new material reality presenting itself to you. And then you've got another valet, which is a page, the valet de baton. So it's like it's really interesting because the times are your suit as a Firesign and I feel like you've already been represented a little bit as the valet of cops like also could be your husband but I say like there's there's a way in which if you allow this situation to teach you new things, I know that that's really hard because you're just like, I don't fucking want to know these things. Guess what? This is a part of the life that I don't actually want to know that much about. I don't want to learn that much about. And also, I've learned it already. I already was here, you know. But I have to say that this is a different situation than your childhood. And I know that you're going to be triggered and it's going to feel familiar and that's going to feel really scary. But it is different and there's different things to be learned, you know, as an adult and as a partner to your husband. So you will you guys will get to be together again. But and I think I think that you're going to come out on the other side of this with a sense of newness to each other. And I'm getting that from the valet to baton. So but, you know, I wanted to know, like, you know, can you get some hit? Now, here's when I ask questions that nobody asked me to help, which is this codependent of me. Am I a codependent tarot reader? I might be. So I wanted to know, is there a way to get some assistance for this woman besides you guys, like is putting her in a care home something that should be on the table? What about getting some home help like a home nurse? And, you know, you're probably laughing out loud listening to this because the answer is a very strong no from the tarot. Ten of swords, ten of cups, five of cups. Like no. There's either no money for that. There is no interest in that. Maybe all of the above, whatever for whatever reason. That's not that's not the way. That's not the way. But I did want to know something about you. I wanted to know, you know, how can you help yourself? Because this looks like a situation that's not going to resolve itself anytime soon. Right? So I pulled three cards on, like, is there something that you can can do to help yourself out? And the first card that came up is the seven of desks. So, you know, I'm worried that you're going to fall into a sort of depression if you haven't already. You know it is you know it is that fear of failure thing. So you might feel a little discouraged or maybe you're like, oh, there is this thing I can do. And then it turns out you can't do it. And you're just like, Oh, forget it. I can't help myself. But the card that comes right after that is the fall. So like, yes, yes, there is something, something different, something new, something wild that you can do to give yourself something that you need. Are you going to have a totally perfect experience? No, not right now. You're not. You will, though. You will at some point. But you've got to get through this and you've got to be able to, like, humble yourself a little bit to take in whatever these lessons are that that fucking life wants you to learn.

I'm sorry to say it is 7:00. I know I'm going over, but I just wanted to get through the rest of this. Next up, after that, eight of eight of wands. It's a lot about a lot of energy moving quickly. Do it, do it. Please take care of yourself as much as you can, because you are definitely taking care of your mother in law for a minute. Okay, you guys, it's 7:04. I'm either going to watch White Lotus, which I've never watched, or I'm going to bake a cake. I haven't decided what feels like the nicer thing for me right now. You're all the best. Thank you so much for your compassion, your support being like models of how to be humans in the world. I hope to see you all back here again next week. Message me your questions. You know, I'm going to try and get to them. I'll also try and get to them here. And, you know, we're all rooting for each other. It's so sweet. It just brings tears to my eye. I want to say, if any of you guys are in Brooklyn, I'm going to be in Brooklyn August 1st at are Magic. I got a new book coming out called Knocking Myself Up. I'm going to be doing a reading there. I'd love to meet any of you in person. I have other other things coming up. I'll announce them, you know, one at a time. I'll tease them out for you guys. Okay. All right. Have a great night and I'll see you next Thursday.

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Michelle Tea: Hi, friends. Remember to catch. Ask the tarot live right here on Spotify every Thursday at 9 p.m. Eastern. You can join me for a journey through the cycles of life, love, aspiration, all in real time. Want me to do a reading for you? Just download the Spotify Live app for free today. It's available in the App Store and you can join me every week I go live. You'll be able to meet really unique people, chat with other listeners, and even ask questions of your own. Remember, you can always listen to ask the Tarot live on Spotify every Thursday at 9 p.m. Eastern. Want to be part of the conversation? Download the Spotify Live app for free today and make sure to follow the Ask the Tarot show page to be notified every time we go live.

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