Ask The Tarot: Can I Heal From My Religious Trauma If My Partner Is Christian?

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Michelle Tea: Hey, everyone. So thank you so much for tuning in. I am wondering, did you know that you can now join ask the Tarot every Thursday at 9 p.m. Eastern live on Spotify. That's right, lines. But we all know the best part of tarot isn't just listening. It's getting your own cards read. Have a question about your future or your past, maybe about your love life or your career. I want to hear from you. All you have to do is download the Spotify Live app in your app store or click the link in our episode descriptions to sign up for free. Then follow ask the Tarot and the Spotify Live app to get notified every time I go live and hear what the tarot has in store. Why miss out on that?

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Michelle Tea: Hello, everybody. Welcome to another evening of Ask the Tarot. I am your host, Michelle Tea. I'm also the host of the podcast, Your Magic on Spotify. And I'm the author of Modern Tarot, and I am here to read your tarot cards. That's what this room is. It's live tarot reading. If you have a question for the tarot, just raise your hand. You know, you see that little icon on your screen and I will get to as many of you as I can. There's also another way that you can submit a question for the tarot, and that's by messaging me on Instagram, because I know some of you want to be, you know, private or you feel shy. So if you want to just type out, you know what's going on, send it to me at @michelleteaz T-E-A-Z. But I have to also warn you that there are lots of scammers that are hitting all of the tarot accounts on Instagram. Mine is no exception. If it seems like I followed you, I probably didn't know. But I just, you know, I just. I probably did it. And then also, if I reach out to you and tell you that the spirit has moved me to read your cards. I definitely didn't do that. Okay, so just know that no tarot reader will ever come to you for a terror reading. Okay, I'm on Instagram, so somebody is doing that. They're trying to steal money from you. Okay, Josh, I hate having to open with something like that. It is such a bummer. Oh, my God. Jasmine's been blocked by the scammers. Oh, gosh. Yeah. There's a lot of folks who who know about this already, but I want to make sure everyone knows because they really are taking advantage of people. So I'm here to read tarot cards. Let's get this thing started.

If you are new to this room, welcome. I really again want to say another, you know, hello and welcome to everybody from Campfire Stories who might be here. That was so fun last week. And I love meeting that community and I love merging our communities. So thanks for being here. If you want to listen to both episodes of Ask the Tarot, you can just go onto Spotify, search for your magic, and in the same feed you'll see back episodes of Ask the Tarot. But we do this live every Thursday, 6:00 on the West Coast, 9:00 on the East Coast. You can always find us here. Okay. There. I think I've said everything I need to say. Gosh. And only, like, 2 minutes. All right, let's go. So I got a bunch of, like, kind of kind of intense questions that came in that I wanted to, you know, try to provide some help for. Here's the first one. My husband struggled with mental health issues. I tried to get him help, but he refuses to try therapy. He's on medication, but doesn't want to work on the cause. Cognitive aspects of mental health, which I firmly believe is necessary to pave the way for overall better mental health. Here's what I would like to ask the Tarot. What does it look like for him if he continues to not manage his mental health? What does he look like for him if he continues? What does sorry? What does he look like for him if he is willing to try something new, i.e. therapy to manage his mental health? And what does it look like for our marriage if he does or doesn't seek mental help? I really appreciate any insights you might get from the tarot. Okay, so this is a complicated question for me. Okay. Because the clearance, you know, that's what we call people who ask come to the tarot for a questionnaire, the questions the clearance is actually wearing on behalf of somebody else. Hold on to the audio cut out here. Okay, people hear me? Okay, good. So she's basically asking me to read cards for somebody else for their problem. Okay. And which, you know, there's a there's a thing about like consent around tarot. Right. And around magic. I don't know about you, but I had a friend once do a spell for me without me really asking him to. And I I'm like it. I was like, I'll let you know I need a spell. Like, don't do that. Don't mess with my business, you know? So, you know, there's, there's firstly, like, you know, doesn't even work to read cards for other people. Is it ethical to read cards for other people? And then there's also this idea that, you know, the queried has decided that her husband has these problems. So she's like, what does it look like if he doesn't take care of these problems that I've decided he has? And so the whole thing is kind of messy. Can you see you see what I'm saying? Now, do I think that the co-parent is totally wrong? I mean, no, I don't. I don't know. You know, like the the her husband is on medication, so he is taking care of himself on some level. Right. She thinks he needs to do more. Maybe she's right. Maybe she's not. It can be so hard when we are coupled with someone, we really it's really hard to see that their business is like not necessarily our business. Now, if his mental health is deteriorate, deteriorating to the extent that it's affecting her, then of course, you know, it it does affect her. And then what you do is you have to make some choices on your own. But choosing to try to control what the other person does. It's really hard. I mean, there's literally 12 step programs around this, right? Is I would have to say, you might want to avail yourself to an Al-Anon meeting, but nonetheless, I picked cards.

Okay. I just picked them a little bit differently. I picked. What does it look like for you if your husband continues to not manage his mental health in the way that you would like him to? Okay. So that is what I picked cards on. Now it actually looks okay. I mean, you got the six of cups. Okay. I'm pulling from the movie tarot right here. You got the six of cups, which is very beautiful. That's a lot of love. So it looks like, you know, even if he manages, you know, continued to not do what you would like him to do, there's still a lot of love between you. And then that got really kind of double down on with the next card, the three of cups, which is really a gorgeous card of celebrating among other people. So you guys, you know, for for whatever, you know, this is clearly a schism between you. But it also looks like there's so much love and happiness and celebration between you guys. So it looks like, you know, even if he doesn't do the things that you feel are best for him, you can still enjoy each other. However, you do have the four cups and the four of cups. The water is rocky and wavy when the four of cups comes up. Okay. It's you know, the four is a number of stability, but water is a very unstable element. Right. So you put those four cups on top of the water and they're they're sloshing around. So I'm taking this to mean, is that like it's going to be hard for you parent? It's going to be hard for you to not keep coming back to this idea that your husband could be more stable. And again, like, I'm not even saying that you're wrong, right? Maybe your husband could be more stable, couldn't we all? I could be more stable. I believe that. But you know, what you want to look at is like, what if he never becomes more stable? Is it okay? You know, I always think about that with relationships because we can't really change people and we can't, you know, order them to change in the way that we would like them to, even in the instances where they really fucking need to, we can't do it. So a good question to ask yourself is what if this never changes? Is it okay? For me? It kind of looks like it might be okay for you, but I do keep picking cards because that's what I'm here to do. So what does it look like for you, my parents? If your husband does try something new, for example, therapy to manage his mental health and it looks like it will make you really happy. The Chair I was like, not going to lie would be a dream come true for the Aquarian if her husband got into therapy. Yes, you would really love it. The very first card that you have is the four of swords, and that is about serious peace of mind. So I just really want to say and give a little, you know, attention to the fact that you love your husband and you want him to you want him to be at peace. Right. It's so like knowing that he's doing everything he can to take care of himself would just make you feel so much better. And, you know, I see how riled and how difficult it is for you to observe him doing things that you think are not best for him. Right. The next card, you know, for for what it would be like for you if your husband got some more help. The star. Oh, my God. It's a dream come true. It is your dream come true. And also the three of coins, which is work, which is really interesting. It seems to me that like, you know, if he was able to get a little bit of extra help, then some real work would start to happen for you guys, right? And also for you. Like, it seems like maybe there's some issues within the relationship that you would really that need to be dealt with. But they kind of can't be necessarily until he does, you know, go forward. It's like you feel like you can't do some extra work with him or even hurt yourself until he does this. So, you know, that's really interesting. You might really want to look at like, you know, do you feel like your life can't start in some way or can't progress or grow until he is on a different track? Because that's not true. I want you to to challenge I want to challenge that. Okay. Now, as for your marriage and this is like where you guys come together, your partnership, what does it look like for your marriage? If he does seek extra help, it actually looks pretty intense. Be careful what you wish for. Okay. You got the ace of coins, which is a real new beginning. So, yeah, that's real. Like, it's a very new beginning for you guys if he does that. But guess what? The next card is the tower. I mean, it's so funny. I really relate to this query because I had somebody I was in a long term relationship with and I really believed that, like, he needed therapy. Okay. Nobody would argue with me. He needed therapy. And finally we got to go to therapy and then we just broke up. Everything fell apart. Sometimes, you know, realize that, you know, your your relationships actually built on shaky ground. And when you actually start on. It will, the relationship goes away. You also have the seven of wands, which means, you know, that's a card of struggle preceding victory. So, you know, I don't think that if he goes there being you guys will break up. But I do think that it's going to really put your relationship through a lot. So, you know, it might not be what you think it is. It's going to be a real struggle. Now, what does your relationship, your marriage look like if he doesn't go to therapy? It looks like harsh. You know, it looks like hard either way. I got the nine coins. That's a very stubborn. The Knight of Coins is the only knight that's not moving around. Okay. Although in this the movie the movie tarot that I'm reading with the Knight of Coins is that Coins is actually Keanu Reeves in the Matrix. So it's a little different. But, you know, it does talk about a stubborn earthbound person who's not really moving forward. And clearly that's what you think of your husband on some level, right. And it might be true. You also got the three of wands, which is to say that, like, you know, if if if you if he doesn't take this path that you'd like him to take, there's still a lot of love there, but there's a lot of strife there. You also got the five of wands. So, you know, it's sort of like you're in it right now. You are in your marriage. And how does it feel to feel good or does it feel bad? You can't, you know, like put everything on this possibility of a change that might end up going in a direction that you don't even know. Now, listen, you guys, I got a little I'm doing some fun stuff tonight. I got all these Oracle decks that I really like to use in this Oracle deck. What is it called? It's called the Sacred Self-care Oracle. And my God, it's just a deck of Oracle cards. It's all different, like self-care activities. It's so cute and fun. I really love it. So I have three. Self-care is cards for this square to see. You know, what are some things? You know, there's a saying in an Al-Anon when we are so freaked out and upset at someone in our life. Right. Who who are living in a way that we cannot get behind. And it's so frustrating to us and that we want to change. There's a saying, keep the focus on yourself. So here are some ways you can put that focus back on yourself. Take it off of your hobby. Put it on yourself in ways that are nurturing to you. Okay. First one. Dance. Dance. What does that mean? Do you want to just go dancing with your friends you want? Is that, like, safe to do right now? Do you want to just, like, lock yourself in your room and have just, like, a dance party move that body? I mean, if you are feeling super stressed out by this situation with your husband, there's so much stress hormones in your body and dancing actually relieves it and shakes it out. It's like a really great way to kind of reset yourself. So dance. Also write a gratitude list. I love this practice. Maybe you even want to write a gratitude list about your husband, thinks you're grateful for your marriage, things you're grateful for, and then finally alone time. Go away from your husband. Go away from everybody and just take some chill time. And remember that like you are your own person in the world and you can be happy no matter what, you know, no matter what your husband does, you can't be happy. Okay, there. I said it. Now who's in the room? Let's see. Let's see. Who can I bring up here? Christine, you are up now. Hello, Christine.

Querent: Hi.

Michelle Tea: Hi.

Querent: I am somebody who has a day job, but I'm also a creative person and I do different kinds of things. And I'm trying to figure out what would be best for me to focus on in the next six months. And that's what the tarot.

Michelle Tea: Window is I've heard from these sessions, so that's good. Yeah. All right. So what are your different options? What are you what are you into? Painting, writing or design?

Querent: Design is what I do for my day job, so it's a little challenging to do that also on the side, but it's also the most lucrative.

Michelle Tea: So you would do the design on the side in a different way, like outside your day job, in a way. Okay, cool. See? So make your main hustle also a side hustle can and let's see what the cards say about this. So for painting. Oh, painting looks so good for you, Christine. I'm pulling from the Thoth tarot, Jack. And the very first card that comes up is the queen of disks. You're a talented painter. Yes, I. I don't know. I mean, I haven't I've been out of it for a while, but I did go to school for four years. Okay. This is the queen of this. She's established in some way. She's done the work to establish herself in some way. And so, yeah, going to school for it for four years totally falls under Queen of just Capricorn, you know, maneuvers. And she feels really good. She's like really sure of herself and really validate, self validating and really good. Grateful for her beautiful talents in life. So yeah, you should do that. And just like step into that queen of discs like Cloak. Your second one is the priestess. And your third one, I want to skip ahead. Your third one is the Harrisons. So you've got two major art partners, and they're both very much about knowledge, self-knowledge, confidence in yourselves, as is the queen of disks. I get that you haven't painted in a while, but you're going to fall back into it and just be like, Oh my God, I was born to do this. Like you very much with the priestess and the hair of that might be like born to do this. The priestess is really showing your natural gifts for it and your intuition, the way that you just sort of know how, like how to do certain things, you know, with paint like, you know, intuitively you get it and then the hair but it about your your technical training and your formal training because he rules, he rules that kind of stuff. But yeah, I mean, I wouldn't even be surprised if you didn't go back to school for it at some point. But this looks really beautiful for you. Now let's see what writing looks like. Oh, writing makes you really happy, but it also really stresses you out. Is that true?

Querent: Yeah. I have a hard time with keeping going, which I understand is very common for writers, but it's like I have a billion things that I started and then have not finished.

Michelle Tea: Yeah, yeah. It's like you really want it. So you got the nine cups, Jupiter in Pisces, which to me says that you have an ability to get into a sort of flow with writing, you know, when it's going well, but you also have the nine of swords, cruelty, Mars and Gemini, and also the aid of swords interference, Jupiter and Gemini, which says that to me, it's kind of telling a story that like when you're not in flow, it's really hard for you to stick with it. That like the internal thoughts just really kind of take over and that can be worked with, you know, that is something that on some level all writers have to deal with, you know, to some degree. So but you know, we're also looking for we're also asking the tarot to show us what roads are more open for you, what makes more sense. So to get a get a reading with like two really negative cards as opposed to this painting, one which are three really gorgeous cards to me. You want to not worry about writing so much, but maybe return to painting now? Let's see. Oh, yeah. And Joe, you know, the doing the the design on the side does not look right either. You got it. Sorry, but at least you got one of them, right? I mean, you know, you know.

Querent: I'm. No, I'm not. I'm not not. It's just that, you know, it does make sense because when you do something at work all day, it can be very hard to keep that going afterwards.

Michelle Tea: You have these really kind of muddy like water cards, cups that are just sort of like sluggish. So that makes a lot of sense. Like you have the five of cups, which is disappointment. And, you know, the the point of this card is your expectations were too high, right? You're like, yes, I can do this. I can work all day and then come home and keep working. And it's like, no, you actually can't. And then you get the seven of cups, which is debauch and it's sort of like, I see that card the way I would imagine that emerging in this situation is a sort of self-sabotage, you know, of like, here's this time that you carved out for yourself, say, after work to do your other design work. And you end up just like not being able to rise to the occasion and like sitting on the couch or watching a show, which is your God given, right? As somebody who works, you know, a day job, like you've got to have that downtime. So it looks like there isn't necessarily an easy way to to kind of integrate it into your life. You end with the Knight of Swords, which I do think that you figure it out, but it just looks like really stressful to me. And painting does not look stressful. Painting looks beautiful and like a return to your self. It's going to lift your confidence. It's going to remind you in a sense of who you are. It's really it looks really beautiful. I really hope you do it.

Querent: Thank you so much. I really appreciate it.

Michelle Tea: You're welcome. Thanks for coming to the room.

Querent: Yeah, thanks.

Michelle Tea: Oh, God, that's so sweet. I see there's all these new folks here. I just want to welcome all of you and just let you know again. You know, if you want to be in the room, if you want to ask a question, just raise your hand and ask just like Christine did, or if it's a little more personal and you feel shy. Just, you know, write to me on Instagram. I'm @michelleteaz T-E-A-Z. Okay, so that's. That's how we do it. I'm going to see who else is in this room. Gabby, you are up.

Querent: Oh, Jesus. I'm scared.

Michelle Tea: Oh, my God. Gabby's profile picture is a cat, and it's very cute.

Querent: It's not even my cat. It's my cousin's cat. And I just. I gave her that sweater for. For him.

Michelle Tea: Well, you are a very nice cat, aunt. How can the tarot help you tonight?

Querent: This is my first time speaking as my second time here, so I think I should just ask the question. Or how do I.

Michelle Tea: Yeah, just ask a question and I will, you know, think about your question while I'm shuffling the cards and we'll see what cards come up.

Querent: Well, I don't have a specific question to ask, but I guess I just. Any thing in general, like I'm a stay at home mom of four year old and I want to do something like I want to take care of myself. But at the same time, my problem is I always take care of everybody else before me.

Michelle Tea: Yeah. Okay. All right. So that's really excellent that you know a lot about yourself and that you're feeling the desire and you're seeing what's blocking you. So what I'm going to ask the tarot is what does it look like for you to actually really make an intentional change about that? And whether that's like I'm carving out like X amount of time a day or X amount of time a week, you know, to do whatever the hell you want to do, you know? But what would it look like for you to actually take very seriously this desire that you have and really start dismantling your own behavior that works against yourself, right? That you're that you're taking care of other people instead. What would happen if you started making changes and making different choices that actually prioritize yourself a little more? So we're going to see what the tarot says that would look like for you. Okay. It looks really hard for you to do that, Gaby. I just really, really want to validate, like, the the caretaking is very deep for you. I don't know if it's even so deep that it goes back to childhood. If you were sort of raised in a way to, you know, caretaking people, if you were taught that that was sort of what you were supposed to do, that that's what makes a person a good person or a loving person. Or maybe you were having to critique people, you know, really early in life, maybe before before you should have been having to do that. I don't know. But it looks.

Querent: Yes you're spot on. That's exactly what happened.

Michelle Tea: So, you know, the the harder the transformation, the bigger the transformation. Right. So I don't want you to be discouraged by this. I just want you, you know, if anything, let it validate, you know, how hard this is so that if you're like, why do I do this? Why am I like this? Well, you're like this because you were really raised to be like this. And it's, you know, you might even have, you know, your own sort of native tendencies to be extra caretaking. But it kind of got you know, it kind of got warped in this way. Your first card is the Prince of Cups. Okay, he is. What sign are you? Can I ask? Okay. Oh, my God. Yes, that is so hard. Virgos are like, you know, meant to be of service, right? So it's going to be extra hard for you because there's in some way you're also wired in that direction. So your first card is the prince of cups. In in this deck, in the Thoth deck. He's this guy who you can't he can't make up his mind he's really into and it's getting him down. He's really stressed out. He's like, Do I go up or do I go down? I don't know. And he's like, overthinking it a little bit, but it's because he's has so many feelings about it. So my read on that is that it's going to be very hard for you to figure out how to do this. Like, what is that first step? You know, that's going to be really challenging for you, I would suggest, because it's always clarifying for me is to maybe make a list like what are some things that you can do that would give you a little more time for yourself? That I think would be a good first step to kind of combat combat the energy of the Prince of Cups. Your next card is the ten of cups, which is called specialty. So it's an interesting card. You're definitely it's time for you to be dealing with this. It's not a coincidence that, you know, you raised your hand in this room and this and you said you didn't really have a question. But this is what we're talking about, right? Like, that's not a coincidence. The ten of cups, when that card comes up, we're at the end of something like we've gone as far as we can go and it's time to upset the apple cart and start all over. And sometimes things get a little messy, but, you know, so be it. It's just it's how it needs to be with the ten of cups. There is a little bit of accomplishment in that, too. So I do want you to like pat yourself on your back like you had your kids like you. You raised them to where they are now. You know, it's like you got them out of you. How old are your kids? Oh, my God. Okay, great. So you got them out of infancy. It's awesome. You know, it's like moms don't get enough of, like, a pat on the back. For that kind of shit, but like, yeah, you kept them alive, right? Everything is good and there's a little bit of stability now with them. It is a good, an important time for you to start bringing the focus back around to yourself. And then your final card is the death card. So that is like that's telling me that this is a major transformation here for you. Like the gifts on the other side of this are as as plentiful and beautiful as it is hard to get there. Right. So when the death card comes up in a tarot reading, it generally means that there's a part of ourself that needs to die. Right. It's like you're molting, you're like a snake and you're just shedding your skin. There's some old behaviors, old ways of thinking about things, and it's time to crawl out from underneath them. But it's painful. You know, there is a sense of loss. You might worry that you're going to disappoint people, that people are going to, like change their opinions about you, you know, stuff that hurts. So there's fear that's wrapped up in this. But, you know, you absolutely you need to do it. I picked another card being like, okay, you know, well, what's on the other side of this deck card? You know, if you if you actually walked this path and it was the last card and that is a great card. It's like lust for life. It's super alive, it's very passionate. It's really engaged in the world. So, you know, the payoff I think the payoff for doing this is is really huge for you. But, you know, it's okay to take baby steps. It's okay to just start by making a list of like some things that feel possible for you. Does that make sense?

Querent: Yes, it totally does. And I live by the quote, good things come to those who wait. So I know that it's hard and they know that I want to do it. But it's just like these are taking that first step, taking baby steps. Yeah, I recognize it. But I'd say at the same time, you know, like you said, there's totally there's of course there's fear. Of course there is. Because I don't want to disappoint. I don't want to be a bad girlfriend, a bad mom about this, about that. But I need to take care of myself too.

Michelle Tea: 100%. And I would just really suggest, like getting rid of like the duality, like the bad versus good. Like you're good if you do this your bad if you do that, like you're just Gabby and you're great. You're a great loving mom. You're a great loving girlfriend, and you need to be a great, loving life partner to yourself. Right? And if people get a little impatient, you can just, like, let them have their feelings while you go, like sit in a bathtub or whatever it is that you need to do to kind of feel like you're taking care of yourself. Yeah. Oh, my God. Everyone's sending you. Love, Gabby. Good luck on this journey. It's very relatable.

Querent: Thank you so much.

Michelle Tea: You're welcome.

Querent: You don't know how much this is means to me.

Michelle Tea: I'm so glad that I. Okay, there she is. Okay. Wow. Yeah, you do. Got this. Gabby, that's. That is, like, so common among, like, people who are female, right? And then, like, moms, it's, like, really hard to know when you can, like, lighten up a little bit because so much is expected of you. It's like, who's okay now let's see. Here is one that came into my Instagram and oh my God. Okay, check this one out. For most of my life, I was a strongly devoted Christian, just like my family and everyone they surround themselves with. But I left the church when I was 22 and now at 30. I don't believe in any of it. I am about to begin therapy to help work through the anger I still have for all those years. I was forced into a religion that I disagree with now, but my partner of not even a year and who I just moved in with is a Christian. We love each other and see a future together. But this topic has been an issue and has turned into arguments a few times. My question is, is this the right relationship for me to for me as I go through therapy in hopes that I can move past my anger and embrace our different ideas? Or is this always going to be an issue and ending the relationship sooner rather than later? A better plan. He is looking for a therapist himself. And we've talked about couples counseling. Oh, my God. Oh, wow. This really blew my mind. It's like dear Clarence escaping, you know, an oppressive Christianity and then just like running right into oppressive Christianity. I mean, it's like it's it's so common, right? I mean, we go it's sort of like a really, really obvious example of how we look. We, like, unconsciously seek our family and our partners, right? It's like, wow. And this is something that, you know, co-parent is like working really hard against like detox from it and still just sort of magnetized somebody with these ideas that are so difficult for her. So my heart goes out to you. That sounds really, really hard. Also, you guys have moved in together after not even a year when there is a pretty major, you know, issue between you. So like, wow, there's a lot going on here.

But I did pick the cards, I answered the questions. I used the collective tarot, which is a really great queer tarot that I thought would be great for somebody who's angry Christianity. So let me see, what was the first question here? What does it look like for you to. Work towards embracing your different ideas. Agreeing to disagree. One of my least favorite phrases in the whole world. Okay. Well, as you might imagine, it looks hard. It looks hard. The very first card here is called The Two of Feathers. And it's like a two of swords and the reed in this deck. In this particular deck. And by the way, I'll put images of all these decks I use on my Instagram later. I love sharing them. But this it shows somebody even sort of like running away. And it's really it's like, okay, so this person is sort of running away. How does that translate to our client? Well, in a way, you know, are you sort of selling yourself out or are you abandoning yourself a little bit by having by making these choices to be in this relationship where you're constantly going to have to be sort of, you know, marinating in Christianity and sort of resisting it, resisting it all the time. Right. Which sounds very stressful. The next one is called the two of bottles, which is I'm sorry, the four, four bottles, which is four cups, basically. Right. And again, this is that like it's a it's it should be stable, right? Because it's a four, but it's the elements of water. So there's really nothing to put those bottles on. So there is going to be a lingering instability like this is going to keep coming up. This is not going to go away. And then this is like the hardest card. I think that for this particular pull, it's a card called intermission. And it actually, you know, it's the hanged man. Basically, they just call it intermission in this deck. So I just see like, oh, gosh, you know, here you are putting yourself in a really uncomfortable situation for a greater good, right? Which is, you know, to be with this person who you love. And I do feel for that. I really do. But is it in your best interest? Is it going to really be worth it for you? It kind of doesn't look like it. It looks like you're kind of selling yourself out and in a situation that's going to remain unstable. But we compare and contrast, right? So I pitched three cards for what does it look like if you actually do end the relationship? Okay. And the very first card that comes up is basically the wheel of fortune in this jacket's called chance, but it retains the same idea, which is, you know, a positive change for the better, you know, brightness moving forward, moving forward. And I really feel like this this letter from this query is really talking about her journey. You know, she's moving out away from this oppressive Christian beliefs she was raised from. She's, you know, detoxing from it. She's healing from it in therapy. It really is a journey. So it seems like your journey is sort of on hold in this relationship because with that intermission. But then when you keep moving, if you get out of it, you're in the chance. The Wheel of Fortune. The next card is called the seven of Keys, which is the equivalent of the seven of wands. So that is a hard card, right? It's you know, it's being represented in this deck is like a protest. People are protesting against a wall of like police officers. And it does talk about struggle in this card, but but that it's a struggle that you do win. So, you know, is it going to be easy to get out of this relationship and be like, oh, you know, this whole this this concept, Christianity, it's like, you know, oh, my God, it's like a breath to me. It's driven me away from my family. And now it's like pushing me away from this person I love. Like, that's going to be hard to sort of metabolize, but you will, and you're going to be so much wiser for it. And that is really capped off by your final card here, which is called the mentor of Bones, which is basically the king of disks only. Instead of your basic king, you get this really sexy like, you know, mountain lion with like an earring wearing a suit. So great that it's really about your wisdom and that your wisdom comes from actual experience, right? It's not book wisdom. It's the wisdom that you've learned with your feet on the ground. So I think it looks great for you to to do this to to to move away from this relationship. Unfortunately, I'm really sorry to say that I did pull out three cards for. What does it look like for you guys to be in couples counseling? I love couples counseling. I'm just like a fan of like all forms of self-care and healing, you know? But it looks hard. It looks like there's a bunch of keys, which, again, that's the fire suit in the stuff that I'm reading with. So the ten of keys, it's this like abandoned house that sort of burned and, you know, the ten of wands and most decks, it's about oppression. And you're like, Why did I do this? The other two cards are caught cards, the apprentice of Keys, which is sort of like a very young, naive page of wands. And then the mentor of keys, a wiser, more philosophical king of wine. So I'm kind of seeing this, and you can see my buyers coming through and out on it. I'm totally owning my bias. It here. I'm seeing that like the question is the mentor appears where they've had this realization, they're doing all this personal work and they've sort of risen to the level of mentor in a situation where their partner is The Apprentice like, you know, probably raised Christian. Sounds like, you know, I don't know, maybe, you know, it feels really true for them. Also, maybe they haven't really had a lot of people question them or question their Christianity if they've been surrounded by other Christians. So they're sort of at a lot more naive space with it. So it looks really hard to get you guys on the same page, you know, give it a try. Always give therapy a try. But if it if it feels futile, it looks like it could feel this way. Now, what did I do? I also hit up the sacred self-care deck for you because this looks so stressful, like you're going through so much, like it's enough just to detox from, like a dysfunctional, traumatic religious childhood, but having to deal with also, you know, the fact that, you know, there's you're in this relationship, it's really intense. So here are three self-care practices that I picked randomly for you. The first is clear your energy field. Clear your energy field. You can use that using like using like verticals. You know, you can burn rosemary, people burn Sage and Palo Santo. You can burn, you know, lavender, you know, anything like that. That kind of like uses smoke to sort of cleanse. You can also use like a spray bottle of water with like an essential oil in it and some salt. And that's a great way to clear your energy field because now you're detoxing. And as you're detoxing your your, you know, childhood, you're also having to detox whatever's happening between you and your partner. The next one is chanting, which, you know, I don't have a lot of suggestions around because chanting is not one of my practices. But you know how interesting chanting might be helpful for you, especially since, you know, chanting and talking. You know, it's like you're actually speaking, you're making noises, you're activating your throat shakers and that and that system. So, you know, maybe chanting is helping you kind of like say what needs to be said and keep staying inside your truth. And then your final one, soak in a bath. That's the one I hope I get every time. Please tell me to soak in a bath. Also get a bath where it's okay. Excellent. The deck that I just read, I'm using a lot of different decks. Jamie The deck I just read is called the Collective Tarot. It's a queer tarot that was made by a group of different people, different artists. And then I was picking from an Oracle deck called the Sacred Self-care Oracle, which is very cute. But usually my Go to Jack is the top charity Jack, which I got in my hands right now, and I'm going to pick somebody here. And I saw that somebody mentioned Discord. We Do Your Magic has an amazing community over on Discord. So it's a place for you guys to know each other and talk to each other outside of this room. I love seeing everybody connect in this room so much and I just didn't want it to be limited to this because maybe you all want to be like besties and go for coffee. I don't know. Okay. Who's here? Who's in the room? Katie, you are up. Hello to you. How can the tarot help?

Querent: Hi. I didn't expect to be chosen.

Michelle Tea: Well, nobody ever does.

Querent: Exactly. So I. I guess I had, like, a wrist hand injury for about a year, and that's been limiting, like, all of my activities, and. And, like, I haven't really been able to work. I haven't been able to drive for about four months, but I finally got properly diagnosed like two months ago. So I'm finally moving in the right direction. And I feel like summer this summer is going to be the time where I can start to like ease back into some things that I've had to just cut out for a while. So I am like, I'm living with my parents and not working, so I'm not as independent as I would like to be. But but I'm wondering what I should, like, focus on, I guess, for my free time in the summer. So I guess I'm looking for like a vibe check on giving attention to the areas of music, like working on music or arts and crafts or video projects.

Michelle Tea: Okay, so music, arts and crafts, I'm shuffling on that right now and I'll do three cards for each one to get a little bit of a story. It's what I like to do, and I'm doing this with the top deck. Okay. And video projects. So you're finally glad that you're that you're on the mend and you've. You know, indulge your creativity. That can be so helpful. Music. Oh, music looks so good, kid. You got two aces. You have the ace of disks, which means, like, on a real material level, on an earthly level, you know, hands on instruments or hands on computers or however you make music. Like you will actually be able to produce something that you want and you will love it because your next card is the ace of cards. So it's also going to trigger a new emotional cycle with you. Is music very emotional for you?

Querent: Yeah, well, so I I'm a singer songwriter. I've kind of been in a rut for like a year, but I've been, like, feeling the urge, I guess. Yeah, I just felt kind of, like, anxious about getting into it. And I, I've always wanted to, like, I've always been kind of torn about, like, whether to treat it, like trying to promote myself versus doing it as a hobby. So. So that stopped me in the past. But. But I love it, genuinely. So.

Michelle Tea: You're supposed to do it. You're supposed to make it for sure. Your final card that I pulled is the last card, which is a card that special to this this topic. It's a riff on the strength card. But it's like instead of, you know, tamping down our passions, it's like, indulge your passions. Go crazy. Just, like, live life. Like, really take a bite out of life. Like it's a lust for life card. And there is like a musician in it. It is about like the senses and indulging them. It's Leo I think that you will get attention for this. You know, Leos don't make work and then, you know, stuff it in a closet. They make work and they bring it out into the world. They are the work. Can I ask what sign you are?

Querent: I'm an Aquarius son and a Capricorn. Rising? Capricorn moon, and Virgo Rising.

Michelle Tea: Oh, man. So I see. I see with that kind of astrological makeup that it wouldn't necessarily be easy or obvious to bring your work out into the world and to get attention for it and to promote yourself. But if that's what it takes to sort of create, you know, a body of work that can sustain you and that can reach people and give people the joy that music gives to people. Like there's a way to conceptualize, you know, bringing your music out into the world. Because looking at this, it does seem like that's what that's what this is. It is you making the music and bringing it out into the world. Well, just think about all the music that's touched you and transformed you. Like, you know, it's it is. You are being of service, you know, to to release your work into the world, you know, so, so, so really think about it like that and see if that doesn't help you get a little more loosened up about it. But yeah, you know, Aquarius doesn't want to take up any space. I mean, I do, but I believe rising Virgo does want to take up any space Capricorn doesn't want. And then under these signs, you know, they all have things they do want, but taking up a ton of visual space isn't necessarily among them. So but you can still work with that now for doing arts and crafts. You could, but you'll end up being like, Why the hell am I doing this? Okay, like the first card you have is fortune. So, you know, there's an attraction there. There is something like you could get something off the ground. You do have talent in that in that arena. You know, you have the princess of wands. She's very fearless. She's just jumping into it. So that looks really nice, right? It's a really nice beginning. It's off to a nice start. But then it ends with the ten of wands, which is oppression. And you're just like, Why the hell would I do this? You know, it could just be that like, you know, we're looking for yes's and knows from the tarot and tarot is saying like, yes, yes, yes to music. And there's only so many hours in the day, you know, even if you are unemployed and can't drive, you know, so don't overwhelm the self, right? Like focus on music. Don't worry about arts and crafts. Yes. However, video actually looks good. And I'm wondering if there's a way to merge video and music a little bit, because I do think that everything should be in service of of music that looks really powerful, but video looks really good too. You have the Akon, which is about, you know, it's a riff on the judgment card, but in this deck it has a different meaning too. It's really about taking a big step into a new life. So that is very powerful. And then your next card is the Queen of Lines, and she's really about like having a lot of energy and really standing in your power and really having been been through a lot. And then your final one is the eight of disks, Prudence Sun in Virgo. And that is a card about really being meticulous, really being slow, being cautious, taking care, crossing your t's. So it looks to me like this is my read on it. Forget about arts and crafts. Just, you know, not right now. Maybe later, because there is something there, but not now. Put all your energy into music. Music is going to jumpstart your life right now and give you that sense of a fresh beginning that you. Really need. And then a little bit down the line, bring video into it. With music, you can be messy, you can experiment, you can be emotional. But with video, you're going to have to be a lot more sort of like detail oriented. Does that make sense?

Querent: Yeah. No, that's makes perfect sense actually.

Michelle Tea: I mean, video video does look really good for you. So I would say those are those are both things that you can do.

Querent: Well, thank you so much. That's really helpful.

Michelle Tea: I'm so glad I'm excited for your music two Aces is like, really nice.

Querent: Yeah, I'm excited. No, this is. This was, like, made a lot of sense.

Michelle Tea: Cool, cool. I got a suggestion saying, feel free to post your music in the Discord. And that is the best idea. Please feel free to do that.

Querent: Oh, yeah, I will. I just joined. So.

Michelle Tea: Awesome. Okay. Thanks a lot, Katy.

Querent: Thanks. Bye.

Michelle Tea: I love that. I love that a lot. Okay. Let me see who else is in this room here. Philip. You are on. Hello.

Querent: Hello. How's it going?

Michelle Tea: Good. How are you doing?

Querent: It's good, actually. I just got home.

Michelle Tea: Oh, well, welcome home. How can the tarot help you this evening?

Querent: I actually had kind of a vibe. Check situation as well. Okay. Pretty much heading into the summer, you know, pretty much after I've moved to a new city. You know, everybody does that thing where they, like, get on the apps or whatever and everybody wants to find a new person. And later on, it's not like that stuff hasn't gone so well for me. I've actually never been in a relationship either, and dating is just kind of been, you know, trial and error. Like from listening to the podcast, you like the phrase kissing frogs. And it seems like that's that's what I've been doing. So I'm tired of kissing frogs. So I'm wondering if I should just, you know, keep putting myself out there or take it for a while and just try to, you know, see what that feels like, too.

Michelle Tea: Okay. Well, first I'm shuffling. I'm, you know, what does it look like for you to keep putting yourself out there for the summer versus now? I'm shuffling. What does it look like to just kind of, like, chill for a minute? You know, all my friends who are dating, like, I swear, they go like on and off with the app. We'll be like on the app. And then they're like, I've taken everything off my phone. They're just like, they're like drying out. They're going to like app rehab and then, you know, they come back. But it seems like it's a really good thing to take a break with.

Querent: Right. I like take all the apps off of my home screen. So wouldn't be like absentmindedly on my phone even, right?

Michelle Tea: Yeah. That really makes a difference if you're just sort of like a compulsive scroller, which we all are with our phones a little bit. So let me see. Here's a thing. Okay. So not not, you know, continuing to put yourself out there. It looks like there'll be some action. You have the chariot card in the center of that of that drawer. And, you know, he's out and about. He's the chariot. He's moving. But on either side, on one side, it's the knight of desks. And on the other side, it's the eight of desks, Prudence Sun in Virgo. So I'm seeing that like, it's like you might be kissing some more foxglove if you don't if you're doing it, it doesn't look awful. It looks and in a way educational. You're just like, Fuck that, I've had that education. So I get it. You know, the night of just is just not moving, right? And so we want we want movement and then prudence. It's just sort of like nobody's I hate to say it, but no one's good enough for you. Like, that's what I'm getting from this, you know, it's just like there's I don't know. Do you feel is dating especially vulnerable to you? Okay. Yeah. I mean, you know, the prudence card here, it's a lot of these beautiful flowers and they're surrounded by these leaves that are like protecting them. So I'm seeing in this that there's like, you know, it's going to really be worth it for you. It's going to really feel worth it for you to be able to, you know, expose yourself, you know, and leave yourself up for for to be vulnerable. And I don't see that it's necessarily going to feel like that now that your situation is actually more complicated than that. Okay. Because I picked three cards for, you know, what does it look like if you, you know, take a break from the apps and the first card that comes up, it's gorgeous. It's the Empress. She's like, yes, my child, get off the apps for a minute. Like Focus on Yourself, self-care, you know, and, you know, a self-care like explosion. Like how much self-care can you do in a day? Do it, she dares you. So it's a beautiful card and it is about love. And you know, she's often about self-love. So it's really just about showering yourself with like that attention. But then your next card is the seven of swords, which is called futility. And when that card comes up, it's like the decision you made was a little too extreme. Like it seemed like you could do it, but then you could. So I think that your break will not be for the whole summer. I think it would be very nice for you to take a little break, but you're going to want to go back on it. And I don't I think that that's okay. You know, your last card is the two of wands, which is Dominion Mars in Aries. I think that what this looks like to me is taking a break that is very nourishing and really lovely and then getting really bored and feeling almost like you're punishing yourself. Like, why am I punishing myself by, like, not letting myself? I don't know. I'll just be out in the world in this way and explore. And you're going to get really impatient with yourself and you're going to go back on.

Querent: Right? I feel like I feel like the other side of the Empress is going to be like, you know, "What about me?".

Michelle Tea: The jealous goddess? I don't think so. You know, she just wants you to be happy. And, you know, I don't know. Like, I think that it's interesting, this idea that, you know, people, you know, people, no one's good enough for you. I'm kind of cosigning that, right? Like I'm the one the one who said it. So. But also, it's like, you know, it might be worth looking at like, you know, does fear make you shut down faster? You know, like, are you giving people enough of a chance or do you just hate feeling vulnerable? So you're kind of shutting it down. That would be the shadow I read about. So I just wanted to give voice to that. Yeah, that actually makes super, super sense to me because. So for for a little context, I guess my, my Venus is a Libra and my Mars is in Scorpio. So that makes and I feel like that impacts my dating life. A degree. Yeah, it does. It does. But, you know, there's, there's a way to work that out. And a lot of times the lessons that we have to learn about dating and like what our patterns are, who we are in dating, like we learn about them by doing dating. Right. It's like, really, it's like, you know, you definitely can do a lot of work on yourself, you know, out of the dating pool, for sure. People do all the time. But there's certain things that like you got to have that you got to kind of be on that stage to enact it. So, you know, I say if you're if you're feeling a little bit down, take a break, get close to the Empress and you'll know when it's time for you to get back out there and then, you know, maybe get back out there with this understanding that you are a little quick to shut it down because you don't like feeling vulnerable. I mean, Scorpio, margin, Scorpio, you do not want to feel vulnerable. No way. But there's unfortunately no other path towards love except vulnerability. So that might be like your larger your larger lesson. And maybe that time out and that time with the Empress will like give you some revelations around that. So you're welcome. Good luck.

Querent: Thank you.

Michelle Tea: It is like, what did somebody say about the summer? It's like something or other summer, right? It's what summer is for love. It's so true here. I'm going to probably end now. Let's see how long it takes me to go through this. I am a little bit of a gather you might have noticed, but here's another love one. I have been single for many years. That's like all caps. I've recently come out to my friends and siblings as non-binary. Congrats. Ian started a new job that gives me hope for a stable future and gotten to a level of mental health self-care that I'm proud of. After years and years of chipping away at habits and therapy and meds in the wake of a full blown mental health crisis. Yay, that's not even my. Yeah, this is the square. It's giving themselves a yay, which I love. And let me second that. Yay. Okay, so now that some great things are falling into place, I am wanting to grow in my romantic life. But I feel so. Baby, here's my question. How can I best approach dating? I have a major crush on a close friend that I'd like to confess, but I'm scared and I'm thinking it's a good idea to try out slash meeting new people where rejection wouldn't hurt as bad. What do the cards say? Like I love this person so much. I love you parents. I'm so happy for you. So listen, you know, what do the cards say? I'm going to tell you what the card say. But first, of course, I'm going to tell you what I think, because it would be terrible if I put my own $0.02 in. I really felt a vibe here where there's a lot of presuming rejection, right? Which to me means that there is a preoccupation with the possibility of rejection and probably a lot of fear around rejection. And like, fair enough. Like, that's part of the dating world, right? We reject people and we get rejected and it just happens. I remember when I was first going out dating sober with a little bit of a broken heart, and I went to my slutty gay male friend who I love with all my heart. And I was just like, What should I do? And he's like, Prepare to get really rejected a lot. He's like, The more you put yourself out there, you know, the higher your your possibilities are. So I don't want to say that it's not, you know, that you shouldn't be aware of it. But I think the vibe I'm getting is that there's too much of an expectation. There's too much of an expectation for rejection. Okay. So anyway, let's move on. The first thing I pulled, what does it look like for you to confess to your friends that you have a major crush? Oh, I wish it was a cute story, right? Who wouldn't love a story like that? It doesn't. It doesn't look good. Okay, your very first card is the three of Pentacles. The three of Pentacles, Mars and Capricorn. That's not very romantic, right? You know, I'm pulling cards right now on the next world tarot. And the illustration is a bunch of people working together, organizing together, doing activism together. So I'm seeing this is like indicative of you and your friends relationship. But right now, platonic. You guys do things together. You're a team, right? Maybe you work together, maybe you just support each other. So following this is the page of cups which this Tara's creator has named the home of expression o the page of cups. So like like an apprentice, an inter naive, young, new. And this is you coherent, like, right. Like just newly on the dating scene. After having been through so much the home of expression. Here you are about to express this crush and then the final card is displayed. Okay. I frickin hate the dinosaurs. It's called despair. And, yes, it's a lot of stress and it doesn't feel good. So I don't know. I mean, maybe you just want to keep this friendship, a friendship and, you know, allow it to support you and feed you. And honestly, a lot of friendships, you know, have an element of attraction to them. And that's sort of something that feeds the friendship, but it doesn't need to, you know, then trance transform into a romance. It can just be kind of one of the energizing energies of the friendship. That's what I would recommend, if that's possible. Okay. Now for like being out on the apps, you know, it's like saying that you'd like to be on the apps because not because like that sounds exciting, but because the rejection will hurt is bad. Like, that was, I think, the flag for me. Okay. And it shows up in this a little bit. Okay. The first the first card is a card called The Messenger. It's a riff on the Hereford, it's Taurus, it's Venus, it's Earth. So, you know, I think that there is a an element of you being really realistic. And and I think that that is good. Right. I I'm not trying to talk you out of your knowledge. Right. But I do I do feel like you got to maybe lighten it up a little bit with the fear or just like, really look at that. Your next card here is the two of swords, which in this deck is called protection. Okay, so oh my God, you said it yourself going on to the apps because the rejection won't hurt as much. And then the card for the Alps is protection. So, you know, you maybe want to look into are there other reasons to go on the Alps, right. Your final card is judgment the judgment card. And, you know, this just feels really sort of like like a little a little stressful, a little buttoned up, a little crunchy, not open, romantic. You know, it feels like the stakes feel really high with these two major arcana and then the protection card in the middle. So, you know, what does that mean? Okay. Well, I asked, what does it look like for you? And if you really reckoned with your fear of rejection, your expectations, your negative any negative expectations you have, the fears that you have if you tried to work through them a little bit, what did that look like for you? Because I really feel like that's the unspoken question in this question. And you got the king and the queen of cups. Oh, my gosh. I love that so much because cups are romance and the queen and the king in this deck are gorgeous. Like the king is this like femme presenting person who's, like, beautiful. She's in a wheelchair. She's holding a lotus flower. She's got a cup of tea. She's like, so amazing. And it's called the throne of Movement. So here we have emotional movement. So this is really excellent, right? This is what you want. You want emotional movement moving through, you know, whatever. You know, traumas are sort of lodged in there that are giving you these negative expectation. Now, the queen of Cuts is an illustration of a real person. And now all of the illustrations in the next world tarot are actually real people. They're friends of the artist. But I've seen this person before and, you know, he is like a he's like a like a drag queen, a bearded, nonbinary. I don't know. This person has a giant white beard and just like an insane, gorgeous, like, finery, layers of dresses. They're carrying like a little dog. And I've seen this person at the beach in New York City, the gay beach. This person is totally like a magical goddess. They're wearing a crazy thing on their head, and their card is called the Throne of Emotion. So this is about you, you know, getting seated in your thrones of movement and emotion. And then what do you get? You get the ace of cups, then you can begin, right? Then you can kind of start this new cycle of of emotional movement for yourself. I'm just, like, freaked out at these three cards. This is what you got for dealing with rejection, fears and stuff like that. And because I'm on a little kick with pulling Oracle cards right now, I went to another Oracle deck called Nature Nurture by Marcella Crowell, who I love and I picked. It's all like, you know, it's nature, images from nature. And so I picked three cards for you to help you on your journey of dealing with fears of rejection and negative expectations of love. The first one you got is the owl, which is it says Owl. Seer. So Seer is like like like a psychic, right? Like like somebody who really knows things. You can trust your intuition. You don't need to be afraid because like, you can trust that. You can see, you know, a person for who they are and you can trust yourself like you can trust. You know, I just think you know this I will see your card is reminding me of like the High Priestess card where it's like your intuition is actually quite strong and like that that's going to do a lot to just protect you. So you don't need to worry about protection quite as much. The next card you got is koi fish. Good luck. Oh, my God. You actually have luck on your side. That's, like, just beautiful and magical. And then your final one is Nest Home. So I love this, you know, after after you detailing everything that you've been through and all the wonderful things that are happening to you. It really feels like you've come home, right? You've come home after a really harrowing time. And because of that, you can sort of relax into your nest and deal with like this last little bit that is going to make relationships easier for you. I hope that makes sense. Oh, my God, you guys, I'm so long winded. I hope it's okay. You've been listening to ask the Tarot. Thank you all so much for being in this room. We are here live every single Thursday, 6:00 East Coast time and then 9:00 on the West Coast, 6:00 on the West Coast. God, I'm so I'm so the person that doesn't know right from left. I'm like 51 years old. But we're here at 6:00 past 9:00 East every Thursday. You can listen to back episodes on the on the your magic channel over on Spotify. You know, you can listen to us on Spotify, but if you want to participate, raise your hand. You just click over to Spotify live. And if you want to send me a question, just message me over on Instagram and ask at Michelle Cheese A-Z and just please know I'm never going to solicit a tarot reading from you. Okay, that's never going to happen. If you see that happening, that's a scammer. Okay. I think that's everything. I think that's everything. I see you all on Discord. Go see each other on Discord. Yes. Have a great weekend. And thank you so much for trusting me with your problems. I love reading for you guys. Good night.

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Michelle Tea: Hi, friends. Remember to catch. Ask the tarot live right here on Spotify every Thursday at 9 p.m. Eastern. You can join me for a journey through the cycles of life, love, aspiration, all in real time. Want me to do a reading for you? Just download the Spotify Live app for free today. It's available in the App Store and you can join me every week I go live. You'll be able to meet really unique people, chat with other listeners, and even ask questions of your own. Remember, you can always listen to ask the Tarot live on Spotify every Thursday at 9 p.m. Eastern. Want to be part of the conversation? Download the Spotify Live app for free today and make sure to follow the Ask the Tarot show page to be notified every time we go live.

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