Ask The Tarot: Is Becoming A Donor For My Friend’s Baby A Good Idea?

This is a recording of our Spotify Live show from May 26, 2022. Tune in on Spotify every Thursday at 6 PM PT/9 PM ET to catch Michelle Tea’s tarot readings. Or listen on the Spotify Live app where you can join the chat — you’ll even have a chance to ask the tarot what’s on your mind.

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This transcript is AI-generated and may not be 100% perfect. If you notice something wrong, just email hello@thisisyourmagic.com

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Michelle Tea: Hey, everyone. So thank you so much for tuning in. I am wondering, did you know that you can now join ask the Tarot every Thursday at 9 p.m. Eastern live on Spotify. That's right, lies. But we all know the best part of tarot isn't just listening. It's getting your own cards read. Have a question about your future or your past, maybe about your love life or your career. I want to hear from you. All you have to do is download the Spotify Live app in your app store or click the link in our episode descriptions to sign up for free. Then follow ask the Tarot and the Spotify Live app to get notified every time I go live and hear what the tarot has in store. Why miss out on that?

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Michelle Tea: Hey, everybody, welcome to ask the Tarot. Sorry, we're getting off to a tiny bit of a late start. You know, Mercury Retrograde. All of my like childcare plans fell through. So I'm scrambling a little bit, but we're ready to go. So happy to be here. So happy to see new people, old faces, new friends, old friends. For those of you who are just tuning in, I'm Michelle Tea. I'm the host of the You're Magic podcast, author of Modern Tarot. And this is Ask the Tarot. And we're here every Thursday, usually at 6:00 Pacific. But I have another thing I have to do later. Mercury Retrograde. And so we're doing it a little early. I really appreciate you all accommodating that and showing up. This is so great. Oh, hi from Two Girls One Ghost. I was on the Two Girls One Ghost. I was on Campfire Stories, the Two Girls One Ghost Spotify live the other night. And I want to do a special shout out to folks from that beautiful community that are here tonight. Oh, my God. You guys are like the sister vibe to the ask the tarot, beautiful community. So I love I love that it's all coming together. If you want to listen to back episodes of Ask the Tarot Rooms, there's tons of them. Just go over to Spotify, look for the Your Magic feed and they're right in there among sprinkled among the podcast. So you can listen and, you know, do follow me and Ask The Tarot here on Spotify live. And the way this works, raise your hand. I will try and call on as many people as I can who want to ask the tarot a question. Now, if you are a shy person or long winded, you kind of want to be anonymous or really spill your guts you can send me a message on Instagram. I'm @michelleteaz T-E-A-Z and you can just send me a note there and I will get to it eventually. Okay. But a word of warning. I have really horrible, horrible, horrible active scammers on Instagram. They pretend to be me and they will contact you. They'll follow you, and then they'll reach out to you, and they'll they'll use this really absurd language like grand rising love. Spirit has moved me to, you know, tell you you need a reading, and they'll just, like, manipulate you and get, you know, try to get you feeling sad about your life, which is it's hard, right? I mean, we all have something to be sad about, don't we? I do. And then they'll try to get money out of you. So please know I will never contact you and tell you, you know, asking for a charity reading. If you want a reading, you contact me. Okay? Deal. Also, like I have 16,000 followers. They always have like 2000. If you see somebody that has, like a lower follower amount, it's not me.

Okay, so there I think I'm going to start right now by jumping into this one that came into my Instagram and it starts like this. I've lived in Illinois my whole life, 20 plus years, and I just got a new job that I think I like. But I'm so over Illinois. I've thought about New York, but it's too expensive. I've also thought about Miami around Miami for a couple of years now, but I don't have the money at present. If I make enough money with my new job to move, is it one a good idea to move out of state too? If I move to Miami, will I find my career purpose or will something come to shake it up? People tell me that I'm good at a lot of things and that I'd probably be good at this, that and the other. But I don't know what I want to do. I'm a Capricorn Sign, Sagittarius Moon, Leo Rising with Aquarius and Sagittarius stellium. If you need all that info. Well, I don't need it, but I really like it. People have also pointed out fame, aspects and degrees in my chart, but I don't know how to feel about that. Yeah, right. Because being famous isn't always a good thing. Okay, let's see. What is it? What does it look like for you to get out of Illinois? I mean, I think it's probably your destiny to get out of Illinois with a banging chart like that. At least go to Chicago. You know, like if you're just maybe you are. Does it say she's in Chicago? Well, whatever. It's it's you know, it's hard to live in the same place your whole life. But see, should you move out of state is the first question I am asking literally for you right now. And every place that's interesting is expensive. That's the sad truth. Okay. And now I'm going to ask the tarot, "What does it look like for you to specifically move to Miami?" So it sounds like that's something that you really want too. Someone saying, don't move to Miami. It's expensive already. Oh, God, I know what that feels like when you, like, live in a city and it's becoming so unlivable. And then you hear that like, it's been deemed like, cool a city and you're like, Oh no, and everyone's going to come here and I'm going to get evicted again. I haven't seen that fear. Oh, yes. Oh, my goodness. Okay. Here's your situation for moving out of state. You got the three cards I picked for you. The first one is the three of swords. So there's a lot of sorrow. I'm wondering, like, you know, you've been L.A. your whole life. Clearly, you're over it. But this is a Libra card, and Libras are relation. And I wonder if you're just. There's something that's I know money makes it really hard to move, but I think there's an emotional component also, or a mental component that's keeping you like stuck in Illinois. You've got to get out, though. Your next card is the two of wands dominion mars in Aries building. Boom, like the Dominion card. When it comes up, we just take over our own life. We're like, I'm doing this crazy thing. I'm on fire, I'm blazing a trail. I might have to throw some elbows. It's fine. I'm going to do it. And then your final card is the emperor, which is like the logical conclusion of, like, the Dominion card, right? It's like you go from the two of wands, you know, with all this Aries energy, and then you arrive at the Emperor, which is the major arcana Aries card. So. So that's really cool. Yeah. It looks like you need to reckon with, you know, your sadness at leaving, you know, but then you need to just kind of do it. Now, Miami actually looks both hard and important for you. Okay, the very first card for moving to Miami is the universe. Now, I really see this as a card about destiny and like stepping into your destiny. And when it's like the the most sort of karmic cosmic card in the tarot, when it comes up with people, it's an extra super duper. Yes. So, yes, you ought to go to Miami. It's going to be super easy for you now. It's going to be a little confusing. You might feel a little bit like, why am I here? And the reason I say that is because the moon card comes up for you afterwards. And when the moon card comes up, we just are a little in the dark. Like we feel a little confused. Maybe we feel a little glum. You know, there might be this you might have this expectation, like, Oh, I'm going to move to Miami, everything's going to fall into place. I suddenly know exactly what to do with my life. I don't think that's going to happen for you. I do think Miami is a good place for you to be. I think it's going to be just like a like a little jumpstart for you. But I think that if you if you are expecting everything to be sorted out for you the minute you land there, that's not going to happen. You're the next card you have is the prince of Cups. He is a little bit paralyzed with indecision. And I'm feeling like that's a little bit of your vibe around this. Like, I don't know what to do here. The Prince of Cups in the stack. I'm meeting with the top deck for use. You know, he's on this big magical bird that can fly really high or go deep into the ocean. And, you know, either way, it would be very cool. But he's, like, afraid to commit to either way to either place up or down water or sky. So he's just sort of skimming the surface. So I think that what you're going to find is, yeah, it's not it's not going to just, like, explode in your face and like you pop into this ready made life and you suddenly know your purpose. I think that there's some there's some work you need to do to get to the bottom of, like, what you know, why is it that you're having such a hard time determining what your passion is, right? What you're passionate about? So so yeah. So it's not going to solve all your problems, but it will definitely solve the problem of Should I move to Miami or not? The answer is yes. So good luck to you. Okay. Now, who is in this room? Who's in this room that would like a reading? Casey, you are up, and here you are. You're muted. So do unmute yourself.

Querent: Okay? Can you hear me now?

Michelle Tea: I can. How are you doing?

Querent: Good. Okay. So I'm. I've always been a lurker, and I guess I'm going to ask a question on how I can kind of show myself more love and more care because I think that I deserve my love and care and attention. So, yeah, that's my question.

Michelle Tea: So that is your question. Yes. Okay. Okay. Show myself more self love and care. Got it. Okay. How can you do it? Okay. I love I love that question. I love that you're wanting to know something like that. How can you show yourself more self-love, self care and attention? One more shuffle. Hey. All right, interesting. Okay, so the very first card you have here is the two of disks, which is it's called change. So. And it's an Earth card. It's Jupiter and Capricorn. I'm wondering if you are deep in your heart, would you rather be doing something else with your time for money or for your vocation? Yeah. Okay. That is something that you can do for yourself is just that would be a very self loving thing is to start working towards whatever that dream is. And you know, here's the thing, the change card, it's changed for the better, but it's usually hard to make that change. It's Jupiter and Capricorn. That's why I asked if it was about work, Capricorn rules work, and Jupiter wants to give you gifts, you know. But to get those gifts you got to make some changes. And Capricorn doesn't want to make any changes, even good changes. So there's a little bit of a stalemate. But if you can sort of set your intentions towards me towards moving in the direct. Of that thing that you want. And I don't know if that means, you know, looking into schools that would give you the training that you might need, taking people out to lunch to pick their brains if they're working in an industry that you want to get into, but just starting to sort of do those things. The next card that I have for you is the four of wands, and it's called completion, and it's Venus in Aries. It's very interesting. It's basically when this card comes up, it's saying that like you, you've achieved something. It's called completion, right? It's like something significant has been achieved, but it's just the foundation. Like I think that know one thing that would be really good for you is to really recognize, even though there's still a lot you want to do and you're like, you're still kind of early on in your journey. You've already done a lot. You've built a really good foundation for yourself and energetically. And so to kind of give yourself those props and recognize that and allow that to give you increased confidence so that you can go out and pursue this like, you know, dream occupation or our dream project that you want to do. And then the third card you have is the Queen of cups, and the Queen of cups is wicked emotional. And so there's something here about your emotionality. Do you do you feel that you're a very emotional person?

Querent: Yeah, I'm very sensitive. I think I just, like, figured that out. So it's been like a journey to work on those feelings. I hate feeling feelings, so.

Michelle Tea: I know, I know. But it is absolutely like the biggest gesture of love towards yourself to just allow yourself to feel them and not get mad at yourself about it, not judge your feelings, not not tell yourself that you should be feeling differently or that you should feel less feelings that you're feeling should be less intense or more manageable. Like just really allowing your feelings to be exactly what they are and not judging them, knowing that they'll pass. Right, because they always do. And really seeing your sensitivity as a gift, like I really think that we come down to earth with like the the sort of temperament that we need in order to be able to do the things that we're supposed to do in this world, in this lifetime. So you came down here sensitive and emotional. That must be very important for the work that you're going to do in this world. And I don't just mean vocation paid work. I also mean, you know, work that that you do like in your community, in your friend group and your family, things like that. So, so yeah. Really trying to to change, change of your, your perception of your own feelings I think is a really self luvvie thing to do. Does that make sense?

Querent: Yes, it does. Thank you so much, Michelle.

Michelle Tea: You're welcome. I'm glad I'm glad you raise your hand today. Okay. Oh, God. Feelings right? Who who likes them? Who likes feelings? I like currently in like such a terrible text fight with like my ex over just like bullshit like get childcare scheduling stuff. And I have so many feelings right now. I mean, like, it's really funny to be talking about feelings. I'm just kind of like, I take so many deep breaths. I thought I came in here to like, read cards, but I'm just like, Oh, what are like, throw like, I don't know, a brick through a window or something. Feelings. Okay, let's help somebody else. I'm a filmmaker based in San Diego, and I recently moved in with my partner. It's a really healthy, non codependent relationship and I'm really happy because it's taken me lots of work in recovery and therapy to get here. San Diego not being a large film market is beautiful, but sometimes I have to go to L.A. for work. When I do work, it's as crew and the camera department. However, my passion is photography and directing. My question is this the my better off moving with my partner or alone to a major film market like L.A. or New York? Or should I ditch the freelance hustle and apply for an MFA in film? Or should I just keep doing what I'm doing? Freelancing as a cameraperson, living in San Diego and going to L.A. for work? Okay, let's see. Let's see. I like that you've really mapped out your options here. All right. What does it look like if you move with or without a healthy, non codependent partner to Los Angeles or New York or some other major market? They know those are the big three cards for that. Now I'm shuffling asking What if you apply for an MFA in film? What would that look like? Jasmine's like, This person is who I want to be. I think. Yes, because you're doing film work already. Jasmine would love that. Okay. And what else? Or what if you just keep doing what you're doing, like living life with your in your cool relationship, living in San Diego and just like driving to L.A. when you get smart, okay. Everyone's relating to you, for instance, in the chat. Okay, so what does it look like to move to a film market? It doesn't look good, honestly. Will you get more work? Yeah. You will get more work. The very central card here is the queen of disks. And, you know, she's bad ass. She's like, ruling, ruling her work life. But on either side, you get the ten of cups in the ten swords, right? Ten of swords. Notoriously, we don't like that. Like, I just think it's not where you're at to be in that hassle. I don't think it's going to feel good to you. And then the ten cups is called sashimi and it's sort of like, huzzah, you've you've accomplished something. But now you're kind of like that all there is, it's a little bit of a letdown. I don't think it's going to be what you think it's going to be. So I say no to that. Let's see, what does the MFA look like? Oh, the MFA looks good, but money looks stressful. Now I say money looks stressful. It's, it's the five of desks which is called wearing like so that's, you know, is does that mean that there's real money stress or does it just stress you out? Okay. But let me start at the beginning. The very first card for you getting your MFA is the emperor, which is like, you know, that's great. He's on fire. He's the king, he's the boss. It's like that is definitely going to, like, hook you up with like credentials, respect, connections, all the things that the emperor represents. So I like that the next card is the ace of cups. That's really beautiful. So it's like not only, you know, do is it, you know, this sort of big hook up, right. Professional career hook up to do this. But it's also going to rejuvenate your love of the art, right? With this ace of cups, it's going to really feel so good. But, you know, that vibe of discs is is a concern. So I don't know if that just means that, like, you're going to be struggling for money or, you know, back on a budget that you're maybe not used to having to be on. I don't know if there's funding sources that maybe you hope for that then you're not able to get in. So it's a little tight. Yeah, it looks like it looks like you're just going to have some money anxiety around it. I don't think that means you shouldn't do it. But also, let's see what it looks like to just keep on keeping on. Let's see. Hmm. It does not look bad for you to keep on keeping on. Okay. You know, the cards for for for kind of staying where you're at. You got the queen of cups and the night of cups. And I just feel like that's you and your partner, right? It's like the two, like, matchy matchy cups. It's. They're very sweet. So I do think it might be my it might represent that. But also energetically to talk about what that looks like, the queen of hearts, she's a little emotionally overwhelmed. So, you know, I think that there is something about maybe not going the can like not making a move, feels a little emotionally overwhelming to you. Like you're haunted by the thought that you perhaps should be doing more. You know, however, the Knight of Cups is so happy and love and just like I think that that he's there, just to remind you, like, you really love your life, like you love, you know, just like being in this healthy relationship and being, you know, it sounds like really allowing your relationship to be the center of your life rather than your career. Not that you don't have a career, not that your career isn't super important, but, you know, there's more of a balance to it. And then you have the heritage card, which is really interesting, and it's like the hair thing. I just did a whole workshop on the hair event. You know, if you join the your magic patron on, I do a workshop on a different tarot card every month. And you can watch the you can watch the old ones and you can join live for the new ones so that we're on Patreon. And last night I did the hair of it and you know, he's really about sharing knowledge and mentors. And I'm wondering if there isn't I know that there's no real film community in San Diego, but I'm still wondering if there's somebody that you can connect with out there that will make it feel a little less alienated to be there in your work. In a sense, it kind of looks best for you to keep on doing what you're doing. Except I do feel it's funny because the hair if and also represents higher education, right? I feel like the drive to the MFA is not going to leave you. I don't think you need to do it right away. But I do see you in this read from this reading. I do see you going back to school and getting your film MFA. I think that is an eventuality for you, so just do it at your leisure and I hope that that was helpful. Okay. Now I'm going to put these cards back in their little stack here and see who is in the room. Amy, you are up next. Hello and how can I help you?

Querent: Hi. Excuse me. I'm so excited. I sent you a message on Instagram a while back, and I think maybe right after you got all your stuff deleted. But so I'm I'm really confused as to what to do coming up here recently with my living situation. Our. Okay. Excuse me. I'm so nervous. Sorry. Our lease is coming up for renewal in July, and I don't know if I want to stay another year or. There was a talk with my really good friend who my husband and I were married by, and she's a close family friend of mine now, and we were possibly thinking of living together. She's a little bit older. She's like my mom's age and she already has some physical issues. So it's something that I would be possibly interested in because I like to save money and I know that it would be kind of helpful for her, but I'm not sure if it's really the right decision. If we did this, I would have to wait until January when her Lisa's up and we're all going to look for something together. Otherwise, I want to know if I should just stay here and kind of move forward. I'm hoping to look to try to get pregnant probably in the next six months or so if, you know, like start in six months. In six months, probably. So I'm just I'm a little bit wayward about like what I want to do with my future because I also my my parents just moved away and I'm really, really close with them. And my mom would love if I went and lived in North Carolina with her or even just my sister lives in South Carolina. So like somewhere, even if I didn't live in the same city as my mom living somewhere like in North Carolina, that we were kind of closer. I'm in Atlanta now and it's just really expensive and I don't foresee us being able to get a house anytime soon. So I'm just kind of like wondering if you could do like a multi possibility poll and thinking about what's in your best interest, especially considering that you're going to be trying to get pregnant with the baby in the next year.

Michelle Tea: So, yeah, so the first question will be, what does it look like for you to move in with this family friend? Sounds like it would save money, but it also sounds like there would be some caretaking responsibilities on you, which is maybe lovely or maybe not. So I'll pick those. And now the second is, you know what? If you just stay where you are in Atlanta? Imperfect, too expensive Atlanta. For now, it's just like, let that be your home base as you move forward with your life. Or what does it look like if you move somewhere in North Carolina to be a little closer to the family that you have there? And that one looks like, okay, so we'll see. Oh, you know something moving in with the van with the friend does not look good. Okay. Yeah, I kind of have that feeling already. So, you know, and it also looks like you're really done with Atlanta, but North Carolina looks like actually quite beautiful. So let me let me go to these cards for you. So, you know, moving in with the family friend, the very first card that comes up is the seven of swords futility moon in Aquarius. This card comes up when something kind of seems great. Intellectually, in our mind, we're like, I can do that, you know? That's like there's, there's so much that that would be really cool and kind of radical. I love that idea. But then there's like once you actually try to live it, it just doesn't work. Okay, the next card is the princess of cups and she's really beautiful and really giving and lovely. And so I don't know, there is this really there is a lovely emotional connection here in this possibility. But then your last card is the hanged man. And I just I don't like all these cards together. I just they're not making a pretty picture to me. You know, the hanged man is like, you're doing it because you're saving money, basically. But I think it's going to be more it's more difficult to kind of put yourself in that situation than you anticipate. Then with the futility card, I just feel like it's really doubling down on the discomfort aspect of the Hanged Man and and not that payoff now for for staying in Atlanta. It's so interesting because you do have the princess of disks in this in this deck and she's pregnant her. Yeah and so, you know, will you still be in Atlanta and pregnant in six months? Very, very possibly. But I don't think you're going to stay there on either side of the. Princess of justice. You have the prince of cups in the tent absorbs ruin. So it's like you're at the end of your rope with it lands. That's what I think. I mean, the ten of swords, when that comes up, by the time that shows up, you know, you don't want something. Something's been something's been rotten for a little while. And it's it's finally, like, you've got to acknowledge that it's not getting any better. The prince of Cups, that he makes it a little hard, though, because, you know, he you know, I was just saying he popped up earlier for somebody. He just won't make a decision, you know. So there's this there's this real difficulty in actually, you know, committing to something and and getting on a new path. So that's what that's what Atlanta looks like. It looks a little stagnant, but it also. I love that you're pregnant. Right? That's really great. But yeah. Yeah. But for that, you have you have a a child card for North Carolina as well. The first part from North Carolina is a little tough. It's interference, eight of swords. And so when that card comes up, it's sort of like this feels really hard. Like there's something about moving to North Carolina that feels hard. It feels like, no, it's it's going to be because his parents want us to stay here. And I know once my parents move, I know that they have this fear that we were probably going to follow them. And then if we do that, and especially if I do have a child there and they're a lot older than my parents. And so there's very there's not a lot of time for them to get to know their grandchildren, probably once we do have them. So that it is going to be really hard. And I know that that will be really hard for him to leave his family and. Oh, yeah. Oh, that is so painful. That sounds really painful. Oh, I'm so sorry that that that is sort of shadowing this decision because otherwise you have the sun, which is gorgeous and it's another child card. Right? There's always a child on the sun card. So it does it does rule like, you know, children, it rules joy, creativity, love, everything, being in its proper place. It's just a gorgeous card. A very powerful. Yes. And then there's the fool and I love the fool for something like this because you're like, let's just do it. You know, it's that beautiful, trusting energy of like, we're just going to take a chance. And I really love it because, you know, your other two poles have these like stagnant cards, right? So you need that full energy to be like, Dammit, let's do it, you know, let's just do it. So I like I really feel that.

Querent: Yeah, yeah. I've been like, I kind of. We just went on our honeymoon and it's almost a year. What are your first read on Monday? So we were in Italy and I was like, Let's just move to Italy. We could just move to one of those little houses where they say, you need to help them spruce it up and live in their community. I was like, Let's just go. You can be a tour guide. I'll do whatever. I kind of feel like the fool. Sometimes I am ready to shake things up.

Michelle Tea: That's so great. Good luck and I hope you enjoy the process. I hope it's enjoyable for you.

Querent: Thank you so much. I really appreciate it. I love listening to you so much.

Michelle Tea: Oh, God, I'm so glad. Well, thanks for raising your hands.

Querent: All right. Bye.

Michelle Tea: Bye bye. I love that, you guys. You're listening to Ask the Chair and your host, Michelle Tee, if you like. If you like this vibe, you would love to listen to some back episodes and they are all over on the your magic feed on Spotify. It's my podcast, so please check it out. And we do this live every Thursday, 6:00 on the West Coast, 9:00 on the East Coast. And you can get your tarot cards read by just raising your hand in here in the room and I'll do my darndest to get to you. Or you can write me. Send me a note at Instagram. I'm at Michelle. T's cheesy and I will never contact you for reading. That is a scammer. Okay, here's one that came in to Instagram. It's very close to my heart. You guys okay? I'm 34, and I've recently been asked by a good friend to be a donor for her baby. We're both queer, and she has decided she is ready for that stage of her life. She'll be a 36 year old heiress, single queer mum and is determined to be very independent in raising the child herself. No doubt you go 36 year old every single queer mum. We've agreed that the role will be. That role will be the gungho gay uncle who gets to hang out sometimes for sleepovers and such, but not a primary parent, which sets my lifestyle perfectly. I've been mostly ambivalent about having children in the past, but now that I am faced with the option with someone who feels like the right platonic co-parent, it has become something I've thought about much more and could envision my life as a part time dad. However, it feels like literally the biggest decision of my life to create new life, and I'm still a little daunted by the weight of such a huge decision. I would love to hear what the tarot says. Oh, my God, I love this. Okay, so what will it look like if you do go forward and donate some of your narrow your life giving than juice to your Aries queer friend? Oh, my God. I love this. You know, that's how I had my child. I had to go bumming sperm off off guncles. And I'm so eternally grateful for the drag queen, the beautiful drag queen that gave me his sperm. So but I'm really trying not to put my energy into this. You know, this is not about me. This is about you. And, you know, I am seeing that this is it is a little stressful for you. I just picked three cards and the first card is the five of wands. Okay. So, yeah, that is like, oh my gosh, that is, there's such friction in this card. Astrologically it is Saturn in Leo and so Leo is just like fun in the sun. Leo is like, Yes, absolutely. You want some misprint? Here it is. Go have a baby. That's fun. I'm a fun gay Uncle Ferrara, you know, like that's Leo. And then here's Saturn coming in saying, But what about this? But what about that? But what about this? And it's just very heavy, you know? And, you know, the concerns that Saturn brings aren't exact. They're not necessarily, you know, wrong. They're not they're not untrue concerns. But it's it's a vibe, you know, just like the Leo let's go for it is a vibe. So your next card here is the lovers and wow, this is so interesting because it is a card with babies on it and you know, you're not it's the sort of the scene, the scene that's illustrated as a type A type of marriage. And of course, you're not marrying your friend here, but it is a type of marriage in a very queer, amazing, interesting way, isn't it? And you guys will be bonded and committed to each other for life. And so so you're right of way. It is heavily as you are. But you know that the lovers card, it's it's a great card. It tends to be a yes it definitely is saying that like, you know, it's about commitment. So it's like you're you're either you know what, the lovers card comes up often when we're in a crossroads, you know, and it's like you are you're you're at the crux of a life changing crossroad right here. Your final card is the Ace of Swords. Now, I tend to see aces as kind of yeses because they are so, like, life affirming and positive. They are, you know, they're a seed. Much like sperm is a seed. No, seriously, though, they're like they're like the seed of the gestating seed of the of the energy of the element. So this is going to be a really you're going to have a totally new outlook on life after this. I mean, the aces are a whole new it's a new year. It's a new cycle of activity. And so this is activity that's going to be around communication. So, wow, you and your friends, you know, are going to just be having to really hash out boundaries and all kinds of things like that. And you're going to have to start thinking about yourself as somebody who is somewhat beholden to a child. I know you're not going to be your primary parent, but it's still going to change the way you think about yourself a little bit, the way you think about the decisions that you make in the world. I see this is really beautiful. I just pick because there's a little bit more neutral energy in this reading than I would like for. For such a powerful question, I picked one final card and it's beautiful. It's virtue. It's the three of wands. It's like, yes, yes, this is a beautiful thing to do. So, you know, you do have to figure out and come to terms with whatever those Saturn worries and concerns are that are being represented in the strike card, the five of wands. You do have to kind of come to peace with those before you're able to commit. So I know now hash it out with another person. I don't know if you're in therapy. Maybe it'd be great to have a therapist for a moment just to kind of do this stuff, talk to other people who had kids. I mean, I don't know, but but yeah, it's, it's all about working out that before you're able to commit and start down this new path as represented by the Ace of Swords. Cool. Good luck to you. Let us know what happens, okay? It's okay. Let's see. Who do we have here in the realm? God, there's so many of you. And I really want to. I want to pick all of you so hard. Okay, Kevin, you're up.

Querent: Oh, my God. Thank you so much. Result for choosing me. This is crazy. It's a privilege to be on your podcast and just like during your readings and everything and just, you know, the community is really great and the chat and everything it's so welcoming.

Michelle Tea: The Community and the chat is so killer. It's amazing.

Querent: Awesome. So Michelle, I have a question for the tarot and obviously your guidance as well. I actually moved from Florida to New York, which is a big change for me in my career. And I pursued an opportunity. I was really having trouble with finding a job. And a career change kind of in Florida. So I took this opportunity and came here. I just want to kind of consult with the tarot a little bit about my life. I've been having trouble a lot in the kind of love aspect of my life, so I just want to know, like, what this new journey will prepare for me and if it was a good decision.

Michelle Tea: Okay, so you want to know about specifically about love and about just sort of like what does it look like for you kind of moving into the future now that you've landed in New York? Yes. Okay, cool. All right. So first of all, like, what is the love? What's the love bubble look like? What is the Love Sphere vibe right now? Oh, my phone is flipping around. Hold on. Okay. And see. And then what does it in general look like for you now that you've made this big, big move? Okay. Chuckle. Wow. Okay. So I want to tell you, first and foremost, that love is coming for you, okay? Because but, you know, it's not a rom com, so it's not just going to, like, you know, pop out. You know, you're not just suddenly going to fall in love with your barista tomorrow and ride off into the sunset. You know, it's like it's there's there's some it's complicated, but it's it's coming for you. So the first thing, the three cards that you have for like what is up in your love sphere right now, the first one is work. You literally got the work card in your love sphere. So are you just like working a ton now that you're there? Yes. You know something as it should be. Okay. Like it's not necessarily bad that you did that, that you're doing that. I mean, it seems like you got to build yourself up. You moved there for work. Like it totally makes sense. But then, you know, your next card is the eight of cups, which is called indolence. And it's a it's a card of something's being neglected. Something emotional is being neglected. Are you putting any like are you putting yourself out there or do you feel like you're also neglecting that part of yourself?

Querent: Yeah, it's kind of funny that you say that because I feel that I think you were talking about it on Tuesday, workaholism and how kind of that really puts a play into our life. And I think that I'm really struggling kind of having that balance and really, you know, putting myself out there a little bit more because of self-doubt and other things. But I've been trying. It's just kind of difficult finding the right balance.

Michelle Tea: Oh, absolutely. It looks like that's the issue. Right. Is there is like, you know, work is is so prominent in your love sphere. And as a result that the, you know, the emotional realm that love exists and is getting a little neglected. So astrologically that that indulgence card is Saturn in Pisces. And I think it's really calling on you to take a bit more action. Pisces can be really passive. They're like, Oh, this is fine. I'm just going to like lay here in the tub. It's beautiful, you know? And like or like it's it's all just going to happen. It's going to come together, you know? And then Saturn kind of comes in and is like, Excuse me now, like, can you get it? Put some muscle into it. You know, like, you can't just expect things to kind of, like, float your way. Like, it's just not going to happen. The really exciting part of this reading, though, is your final card is the universe. Okay, so this is really interesting. Like this is for you because it's really it's kind of major and deep and really significant for you and your life. Like figuring out this work relationship balance is huge and you're meant to do it like you're meant to to reckon with it, and you're meant to carve out more time to find love in your life. And so, like, you know, the all the cups in this indolence card or chipped and broken and the water is slimy and it's like your destiny to get in there and like polish up those those cuts and, you know, purify the water. And it's just going to be lovely. So, yeah, so that that is that's the issue. Now it gets reflected a little bit. Also in your general reading, the very final card in your general reading is the Empress, which is a big love card. So yeah, I do think that you're going to be in a relationship that's really significant for you in New York, you know, and it's like something that, you know, you had to come to New York to kind of have you know, you had to find this person in New York. Unfortunately, the very first card for like what does it look like with you being in New York right now is the vibe of just worry. And it's that's kind of about wearing about money. Is it just like so stressful to be living in New York City?

Querent: Yeah, it is definitely. I mean, like, quite the change.

Michelle Tea: Oh, my God. I remember my sister used to live in New York and I would visit her and I'd be like, Oh, my God. It's just like it's like some sort of like Disney. Like, like Pinocchio. Like when Pinocchio goes to that island, you know, where they turn the boys into donkeys. But before that, and just like gambling and bars and eating candy, like that's New York. You're like, I want everything. It's like everything is being sort of marketed to you all the time, and it just must be so stupid. Yeah, but you're not rich, you know? So, yeah, it doesn't look like it's going to take you a minute to sort of get your balance and feel, feel, feel more stable in a real, practical way. Like, I got this. I can I can do New York. Like, it's not going to break me. I'm going to do it. But, you know, it is going to it's going to take you a minute to do that. But your next card is the night of wines. So I see you just sort of like at some point just leaping into life there a little more, you know, and that could be the romantic aspect of life because that leap, that spontaneous, like, forget it, I'm going to just do this crazy thing leads you to the empress, which is love, right? So, you know, it looks like yeah, it looks like your time in New York is being a little bit marked by having so far, you know, your early time in New York will be marked by just getting your footing and figuring out like, can I really do this? And I think that once you kind of catch your breath, you're going to get deeper into your life there and you're going to deal with the work. Workaholism. I mean there's nothing like scarcity fears that that to feed workaholism, right. You're like, oh, I got to do nothing but work. Otherwise I'll start be homeless, you know, but that that's a false narrative. So you'll be able to work through that. And it's definitely your destiny to find love. Yes.

Querent: Thank you so much. I really appreciate it.

Michelle Tea: Good luck. You're living the dream? Yeah. Oh, my God. We're so slacker, Kevin. I mean, that really is the dream. Just like moving to New York. So amazing. Okay. Let's see what came to Instagram. It's okay. Oh, this one okay? Yeah. My partner and I have communication issues. We are both anxious people and are reactive due to our past traumas. I'm working on my traumas and have worked a shit ton on my communication slash being non-reactive. I've definitely noticed a difference on my part, but he isn't working on his part and I'm becoming aware of how much he gaslights. Slash tries to manipulate the narrative of a situation. It's getting to the point where I have to defend myself and my truths because he doesn't believe me. My therapist is telling me to be careful with him and to continue asking questions. Aware of his concerns being used to control. Okay. So I think that means that his key he says that he's concerned about things that he's actually being controlling. Okay. I am financially dependent on him since I'm a full time student and he encourages me not to work so I can focus on my studies. I can feel my light dimming and am unsure if I'm seeing the situation right. I know it takes two to tango, but am I in an emotionally and financially draining relationship? Is he for me? Am I being self-destructive? I need your help because my mind can't see the truth. I'm a Libra son, Scorpio Rising and Aries Moon. He's a Capricorn son. Yes, he is controlling. He's a capital Capricorn. Trolling. Right. Any Capricorns in the chat will totally be, like, fair. No one's going to fight me on that. Okay. He's a Capricorn Sun Cancer Rising in Pisces Moon. Oh, and we have an 11 year age gap, so he can be parent like and condescending. Well, my Scorpio Rising never forgets. And Overanalyses. Oh, that sounds awful. Oh, my God. This is one of those questions where I'm like, Do I have to pick tarot cards? Can I just tell you to get the fuck out of this relationship? You know, like, I don't know. I've been in so many, like, shitty controlling relationships, and at some point I think I just realize it doesn't matter. And you stay in them because you're like, Well, maybe I'm being like this and I'm being like that, and I should stay in it because I'm not seeing it right. And at some point I was like, Oh, it doesn't matter if I'm not seeing it right? Like, maybe I'm damaged. I can never be in a good relationship, but I'm just going to if I feel terrible, I should get out of it. Right. Like, if it feels bad, like you don't have to, like, analyze it and come to some sort of conclusion in your mind. But, like, you can just be like, I don't like how this relationship makes me feel. Period. So, okay. But, you know, that's just my two cents. And I do want to mention that two cents of everybody in the chat. So when you get a lot of support here, somebody suggests by the Capricorn, you're all your own age. Okay. What does it look like if you stay in this relationship? Let's see. As a Libra, it's probably going to be hard for you to leave relationships, right? You invest a lot of yourself in them. You identify with them. Okay. What does it look like for you? Okay. To leave this relationship? I felt just got confused if I was asking for leaving or staying. But I'm doing leaving, so I'm going to give it an extra shuffle. And you really think that I'm leaving energy? What does it look like for you just to be like, you know, I just don't like how this makes me feel. And I'm going drop the cards and I'm going to figure it out. You never have to stay in a bad relationship because of money and stuff like that. I mean, I know that it's really hard to believe that, but I think you just start making moves towards escape, you know, and and you figure it out, right? You ask for help. Okay. And now what does it look like if you stay in this relationship? Are they even asking the tarot? But I do want to do a compare and contrast here. Okay. I mean, leaving the relationship, you might get hard cards, but that doesn't mean that it's, you know, it's hard to leave relationships, but. Okay, we'll see. We'll see. I'm talking too much and having to swap the cards over, you know what I mean? But, God, I just feel for folks who are in these these relationships that make them not trust themselves. You know, that's it's really the worst. Oh, my God. Your life is so fucking beautiful if you leave this relationship. Thank you, Tarot. And you're leaving it either way, you leave it now or you leave it later. You know what I mean? You got leaving cards for everything. So for leaving you, the very first card is the art card, then the victory card, and then the swiftness card. Okay, you can figure this out. That art card is a card about marriage and collaboration, and it's not telling you to marry this person or collaborate with this person. Right. So I'm wondering, is there someone around you? Do you have like a best did you have somebody who will be there for you who will help you do this? I think that you really might. And also, you know, there's another way to read this that, you know, the art it's about, you know, like creating something larger than yourself. And it's like this is your life, right? Imagining your life is sort of larger than yourself, that your life can be this big, beautiful thing, not this little small thing where you're sort of, you know, stuck with this person. That's that's like drag. Meaning you giving your life. That's what you said, right? I hate that. For whatever it's worth, the cards for you leaving are filled with light for fire cards. Fire the fire. You know, the element of fires. The element of light. Okay, so then there is the six of wands, which is Jupiter in Leo? Yes, it's victory. It's like, you can do this, you can do this. And the eight of wands, you can do it fast. You can do it yesterday. Okay. You do need support. You know, people people are shining in and in the you know, in the chat here that, you know, you know, you deserve better. You need a support system for sure to get out. So, yes, you know, like look for that. It took it took another person in the chat 15 tries to break up with somebody, but her life is only expanded in every way since love can be blind. Yes, that's true. I've been there as well. So, yeah, you know, no one is doubting that it's hard and challenging, but you can do it. And, you know, something like so many other people have been in your situation and they've figured it out and like, I don't know, man, reach out for help. Okay, here's what happens if you stay. It's the very first card for you saying is the night of cuts. Very sweet cancer. I know that you're you're you're the guy that you're with right now has had some cancer in there. So, you know, here's you just being like, okay, I'm going to I'm going to commit. I'm going to do it. I'm in this. You know, I'm going to trust that I'm going to give this person the benefit of the doubt. I'm going to do it. But then you get the death card in the airline. Okay? So it's like the death card. And then the airline is about like a whole new world opening up for you. I just I don't know, man. I think that this is you leaving, you know, like, I think that there is no staying. I think that, you know, you can go to it with the big open heart, like the night of cuts. But then I think you just see that like this is like a dead relationship, right? And so you're going to have to face it one way or the other. And then you walk towards the island, which is a new life, like a whole new life, a whole new. And being able to really see clearly, I would recommend that you get out of it sooner rather than later on your own terms, because that is a much prettier trio of cards. It's really beautiful. But, you know, if you and if you find that you have to stay because you need I don't know, you sometimes you really need to hit bottom, you know what I mean? And I'm not saying any judgment. That's just what's real sometimes. Sometimes we need to hit bottom and see things really clearly. And then we can we can move without looking back. Without looking back, there's no looking back with the iron. So I hope that that's helpful. And, and you should be really proud of yourself for like recognizing these red flags, you know, and, and for validate your own experience. We're here to help you validate it. Okay. So, so do do reach out to folks in the chat, too, because I, I know that you are a listener and you can find us on discord. Okay? We have your magic has a discord channel. And you can you can get out there and meet each other outside of this beautiful community that we have here on Spotify live. So it's like it's the afterparty. Okay. All right. Now I am going to grab somebody from here. And let me say wisely, Sandy, you're up, but you have to unmute yourself.

Querent: Oh, my gosh, I did not expect to be called well, this is my first day and I got picked whole. Holy cow. Okay. Okay. So thank you so much for taking my call. That's awesome. Okay, I am. The news is that first. Can you hear me alone? Hello?

Michelle Tea: Yes, I can.

Querent: Okay. So I've never gotten my cards right. So this is my first time and I have a I have a family man up soon and I'm nervous as hell because our family is a lot of family is a lot. So but one of the biggest things that I wanted to do during this family reunion is talk with my sister. My sister, she deserves everything that's coming her way. She's going to get married. But I am concerned because I do not have a very healthy relationship with her dad. Trigger warning. Trigger warning. I was sexually abused by her dad many, many years ago, and I haven't seen him since my parents got divorced. So since her parents, her dad and my mom got divorced and she knows about it, I don't know if she remembers. I don't know. She chose to ignore it and I'm not sure if he's going to be there. So here's my question. My question is, I want to be there for my sister. My sister loves me. I adore my sister. And I've always been kind of like her protector. So, which is why I want to be there for her. But she does still look up to me. I mean, she's like 30 something. I'm 43. So I also want to still be do the right thing and be like, she, I love you. I don't want to do anything to disrupt your day. But the day before and the day after is mine in the sense that he has to come, you know? So in terms of what happens and I'm going to confront him about this whole situation because I can't pretend that this is a wonderful time. And, you know, you act like this never happened. You still have to confront this, you know, with me. And I think I deserve that that closure and resolution. So that's my question is like, what should I talk to my sister about this? Or should I just kindly say, I love you, sis, but I'm not going to be there that day because I don't want to disrupt your day. What should I do?

Michelle Tea: Okay, let's see. Oh, my God. It's so unfair that you have to ask these questions. I'm so sorry. Yeah, because it's like. I don't want to. I don't want to be. I don't want to be selfish. It's. It's her day. But I also feel that it's important for me to stand up for my feelings, my rights. You know what I mean? It's like I'm not going to shrug this under to make everyone comfortable this like, no, I've done that enough in my lifetime. I'm not doing this again. Absolutely. So let's see. What does it look like if you talk to her? Oh, it looks so good for you to talk to her. And then you have to, you know, talk to her. I mean, talking to her, you get the ace of disks, which is a beautiful it's like a new beginning, a new start to your relationship, like a new beginning of a relationship. And then you get the eight I'm sorry, the nine of disks, which is game. So you get a lot of positive feedback immediately from having done this. There's a payoff and then you get the sun. And I love this because the sun is what we want for a question like this. We, we want the sun to shine like we don't want to have to, like, hide and hide what happened. It's like everything should be known. Everything should be out under the sun. And also the sun is beautiful. It's a very beautiful, positive card. Oh, gosh. Energy for not for, you know, for not talking about it, telling her it's really awkward. You get the chariot, so you're like, I'm just going to buckle down and just go forward and not, you know, like, not do it. And it's and then it's with the Princess of Swords and the Prince of Deceit, and they're just a little cacophonous together. They're strange. The Princess of Discs wants to tear everything down, and the Prince of thieves want to do anything. It's like you're paralyzed, you know, right?

Querent: Yeah. That's exactly how it is.

Michelle Tea: Your next move will be so clear to you after that.

Querent: Okay, okay. Okay. Oh, my gosh. That's perfect. Thank you so much. Because it has been like I'm over here talking to, you know, I'll talk to I've talked to my husband about it, you know, and he's like, we're going. And I was like, Yes, but I don't want it to be about me. It's her day. So, you know, this is my my fears are once again protecting my sister. I, I just want it's her day. She deserves to be happy. She deserves everything that she's that's coming her way. But at the same time as a go. What kind of example? My setting for her, because I know she's a grown adult. You know, she's not my baby anymore, but she still looks you know, she still looks up to what it is that I see what I do. And and I just I feel that responsibility, not only because she's like, I'm just a mom to her, you know, I'm like almost ten years older than her. So I raised her and I just really felt that it was important for me to be just clear and transparent, but I just wanted to know. I'm glad that the town helped me with that. Thank you so much. All My gosh, I'm so excited.

Michelle Tea: We love you and just thank you for a thank you for everything that you just gave us.

Querent: Thank you.

Michelle Tea: You're welcome. Oh, my gosh. What a great sister. What an amazing, amazing sister. We're all rooting for you. You guys, I have to buzz. I get to go. I'm part of a reading in the New York Los Angeles Times Book Club has selected an anthology that I'm in. It's called Letter to a Stranger Essays to the One Who Hands US. And it's writing about people we meet when we travel that we kind of can't forget. So I have to go and be part of this. And, you know, Mercury Retrograde continues, and I have no idea how to sign on to the event that's starting right now. So I'm going to go find it. I love you guys. Thank you all for being here again. Special shout out to the campfire stories folks who showed up I'm sorry for.

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Michelle Tea: Hi, friends. Remember to catch. Ask the tarot live right here on Spotify every Thursday at 9 p.m. Eastern. You can join me for a journey through the cycles of life, love, aspiration, all in real time. Want me to do a reading for you? Just download the Spotify Live app for free today. It's available in the App Store and you can join me. Every week I go live, you'll be able to meet really unique people, chat with other listeners, and even ask questions of your own. Remember, you can always listen to ask the Tarot live on Spotify every Thursday at 9 p.m. Eastern. Want to be part of the conversation? Download the Spotify Live app for free today and make sure to follow the Ask the Tarot show page to be notified every time we go live.

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