Ask The Tarot: I’m in a Committed Relationship With My Boyfriend. Should I Consider Polyamory so I Can Explore Dating Women and Queer People?

This is a recording of our Spotify Live show from May 12, 2022. Tune in on Spotify every Thursday at 6 PM PT/9 PM ET to catch Michelle Tea’s tarot readings. Or listen on the Spotify Live app where you can join the chat — you’ll even have a chance to ask the tarot what’s on your mind.

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Michelle Tea: Hey, everyone. So thank you so much for tuning in. I am wondering, did you know that you can now join ask the Tarot. Every Thursday at 9 p.m. Eastern, live on Spotify. That's right, lines. But we all know the best part of tarot isn't just listening. It's getting your own cards read. Have a question about your future or your past, maybe about your love life or your career. I want to hear from you. All you have to do is download the Spotify Live app in your app store or click the link in our episode descriptions to sign up for free. Then follow ask the tarot in the Spotify Live app to get notified every time I go live and hear what the tarot has in store. Why miss out on that?

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Hello, you guys. I don't know why that took a minute, but it did. Hi. It's so nice to see the chat just explode right before my eyes as I'm, like, waiting to be unmuted and whatnot by technology. I'm so happy to see everybody. Thanks for coming to another edition of Ask the Tarot Live. I am your host, Michelle G. I'm the author of Modern Tarot and I'm the host of the Spotify podcast, Your Magic. And I noticed in the chat that there's a whole bunch of new guys that are here for the first time and they really, really want to welcome you. It's so fun that we keep getting new listeners and new people participating in the chat, and I see that like The Welcome Wagon has already been busted out in the chat. And you know about discord, where everybody can hang out after the chat. Yes, Jasmine, I do sound a little sick. I will tell you guys that I have COVID. This is the as the COVID edition. I tested positive on Monday. So I am coming to you live from my quarantine bedroom rather than at my desk with all my stuff set up, you know. So it's a little bit different, but hopefully you guys can hear me. And thanks for all the love. I really appreciate it. Yeah, you guys, COVID continues to be real, and I'm just really grateful that my kids didn't get it and my mom didn't get it. But me and my husband have it, and which is good because if you get it, you kind of want your person to get it with you so you guys can cuddle. Although now it's like who brings who breakfast? You know what I mean? So thank you. So the way this works is if you would like me to pick cards, tarot cards for you, for any issues or quandaries you might be experiencing, all you have to do is raise your hand. Another way you can do it is find me on Instagram @michelleteaz T-E-A-Z and you can write me out. You know your question there and I will pick cards for you at a later date. I won't get to those ones tonight. In fact, I won't get to most of y'all tonight because I feel like we need more time on this show. Like we barely make a dent in everybody and everybody's issues. Right. But here I do have this one that I'm going to start with and here we go.

I recently got into a relationship with a very sweet and dependable guy who really loves me. It should be known that I am a bisexual, gender fluid person. It should be known with little to no experience dating women or other queer people, so that can often feel like something I'm missing out on. Yeah, no doubt. I recently have started to develop feelings for my male coworker as well and wonder if I'm missing out on romantic experiences being in a committed relationship. I have a love for my boyfriend, but I also wonder what it may look like for me to be polyamorous or not committed right now. I guess my question is what does it look like if I stay with my boyfriend? Is there anything between my coworker and I and what would polyamory or non commitment look like for me right now? So I picked a bunch of cards for this question from the Cosmic Slumber Tarot and okay, so the first ones. Oh, thanks for all the healing energy. I know it's it is a really wild thing, you guys. I am way better than I was yesterday. But you can hear my voice how congested I am today. So. All right. So for our Clarence, staying with her very sweet boyfriend, the very first card tells it all. It's the the hanged one, which is the hanged man. But this does a non gendered hanged man. So it's the hanged one and it's like, okay, yeah, you're not really comfortable in the situation, but you're hoping that it will pay off a little bit down the road. Maybe you'll change how you feel about all of this. And then the next card that comes up is the five of cups. And that's just a sad card, right? I mean, that's the card where you're like, you know, especially the illustrations in this particular deck. This is a really sweet deck. You know, the person is sitting on the shore. It's just like gazing into the fifth cup, being like, isn't there anything in there for me? You know, you're really trying to make the best of it. You're really trying to get emotionally fed from this relationship. But you're you're just not, you know? And what can you do about that? Not a lot, because your final card is the tower. So, you know, very, very sweet and dependable or not. There's other things to consider right now for you as you sort of figure out what you want your romantic life to look like. And it doesn't look like a committed relationship with this particular person, is it? Now, I looked at what does it look like for you? What's the energy between you and this coworker? Like, what's that story about? So the very first card that comes up is the Queen of Swords. She's like, you know, she's especially in this deck. She's like blood splattered. It's like a horror movie, right? But you know that the reason they made her like that portrayed her in such a way is because she's a little ruthless. She's like, you know, I just got to get rid of what is it working for me? Sorry if it hurts your feelings or like, pierces your. Skin or whatever is happening in this card so that I feel like in a funny way, the vibe I'm getting from these cards are. He might have shown up to provoke you to get out of your relationship. I don't know that he's like, the next big thing for you, but he might be a catalyst because, I mean, she is definitely a catalyze or this person who just popped up. Then your next card is the three of torches, okay? Which is the three of wands. And then this. It's this person who's sitting on the side of a cave, sort of looking out to the distance a bit wistfully. So, you know, you're looking wistfully and, you know, this person's arrival in your life is causing you to think about your situation differently and be a little wistful about what you're missing out on. And then your final card here is the emperor. So listen, is he your emperor? Is he your knight in shining armor? I don't think so. Let it be known you are like bisexual and gender fluid. I just don't think that the story is about you hopping from one great guy to another great guy. I think that's really what the story is about, is giving yourself the ram to become the emperor in your life, to become in charge of who you want to date and how you want to conduct yourself romantically and honestly. We figure that out by trial and error.

So the cards for you being in a non committed polyamorous situation are really, really interesting. So the very first card for polyamory is the four of pentacles. So I have so much compassion for you. I need especially in this in this deck, it's a person who's just sort of like sulking and clutching their pentacles. And I mean, that is definitely a part of polyamory, right? Like you see the person that you love going out on a date with someone that isn't you, and you stand there and you clutch all your pentacles and you sulk. So, you know, do you have some, some jealousy to work through or some kind of like, is it going to take you a minute to stabilize yourself within that mode of relationship? Sure. I mean, it takes everybody time to do that. Your next card, though, is the Empress, which makes me feel like ding, ding, ding, like she is a card of big surging love. So she is a lot bigger to me than, you know, a minor arcana card. So to me, I'm seeing that like, you know, she can absolutely help you through. You can help yourself through those times when you feel like, oh, I just I feel too possessive to be in a situation like this. So it is a heads up, like heads up, you're going to feel possessive, but also you're going to feel like the Empress, like there's so much love available to you, which, you know, when I was riding high on polyamory, I was getting the Empress Card like every day. So to me, she's just this card about, you know, what it feels like when that's going really well. And then your final card is the Prince of Cups, which is like very sweet. You know, in the top deck that I often read with, he's he's a little tormented, but he is not tormented in this deck in the cosmic slumber. So I'm not reading him like that. He is just like going forth in search of romantic adventure and, you know, he's going to do his best. And so are you, Clarence. So good luck with whatever you do with your many your many paramours. But it looks like you are definitely meant to become your own emperor and figure out how to master. You know, polyamory for right now doesn't mean it's forever, but definitely for right now it O-M-G. You got the emperor and the Empress. How cool. Okay. Yes, it is a transformation read. What is this? Yeah, she has so much to have happen for real. She really does. I love seeing what everybody else is talking about in the chat. While I'm reading the cards.

I just want to let folks know, especially newcomers, if you if you really love this room and I think you will, it's so fun. You can go and listen to back episodes of it. Just go onto Spotify and search for the your magic feed. And it's just in our feed so you can listen to them while you listen to our, you know, back episodes of our podcasts. And if you're listening to this on Spotify and you want to be part of the fun, just click over it to Spotify live. It couldn't be easier. Okay, I'm going to pick somebody, but hold on. I need a sip of water. Okay. Oh, my God. Water. How do we live without it? Okay, let me see. And Will. Okay, Lorna, you are up.

Querent: Hi.

Michelle Tea: Hi.

Querent: Oh, my gosh. Finally. Okay, so I love this live, by the way. Welcome, newcomers. She's amazing. Make sure you follow every week. I miss last week because I had a little puppy situation happen, but I did ask a question on Instagram and you have been so generous to always respond. But I did want my cards read because I've kind of gone through some stuff.

Michelle Tea: Okay, okay.

Querent: So I'm going to kind of make it. I don't want to like drag everybody out here, but so I made kind of a big move career, life, location. I moved from up north to down to North Carolina.

Michelle Tea: Okay.

Querent: I got into a relationship with somebody. It went super fast to the point where like he asked me, like families hand in marriage, like it got very serious, like totally love bombed the hell out of me and was like so much more into it. Then I was like. And we did like the whole, like the last time I saw. So we said goodbye to each other. Let me just leave you guys with this, all right? This is kind of like the plot thickens. The last time we really got to have a conversation was kind of shitty. So we were going into are like my going to be 30th birthday my cards. I'm a Pisces through and through, but I'm a hard person to read because I'm born on a leap year. So I am a leap link through and through and through. Which makes me hard because he was also a Pisces. He was nine days but two years older. We we saw sorry, guys. We had decided that, you know, we were going to be spending so much overloading time before we moved in together and started like life. Like things were happening so fast that we were going to just, like, take a day before, like his birthday and my birthday week. And he ended up like making plans with his friends. And he didn't tell me and like rushed me over for his birthday for like a whole 10 minutes where I was just like, all right, I'm out. And then showed up, like somewhere like where I was that weekend, where, like, you got to take a ferry to get there and know somebody to know somebody to be there. So it was kind of like a weird scenario and showed up where I was after saying he wasn't. So I kind of want to know, like, because it was such a weird break up. There was no nothing bad between us and things kind of like I like unraveled after nothing weird, but like, I just want to know kind of where my love life stands because now I'm turning. I'm 30, I just turned 30 and I want to know where I stand with that as well as like my career, my career at the law. I just learned so much. And you, Michelle, I'm so sorry.

Michelle Tea: But you want to know where you are with within your romantic sphere, which is fine, but you just spent a lot of time telling us the story of this guy.

Querent: So I need to, like, be done like I'm finally over, like when I first reached out to you, which is really cool about this whole Spotify live, right? Like you don't pick people right away, which is kind of awesome because you take time to really think and reflect. You go through some stuff before you can really act card And so a lot of things change, right? Kind of got some time to sit back and be like over it. But now I want to know like, do I just shut down love or like do I take a leap on like other people that are like throwing themselves at like, where do I go from here? I feel like I just yourself. Okay. All right, guys, this is crazy.

Michelle Tea: No, we like abundance for all. We love it. Okay, so I'm picking three cards right now on, you know, what does your romantic sphere look like? And then I'm going to pick three cards as well on a career so bad.

Querent: Sorry, everybody in the chat as well. I feel so bad.

Michelle Tea: It's fine. It's really it's. That's what we're here for. Okay. So what does romance look like for you right now? Oh, my gosh. You need a break. You need a break. I'm sorry to say, because–.

Querent: I love that. I can think.

Michelle Tea: Okay, I'm glad you love it.

Querent: I'm here with it. I'm going to embrace it.

Michelle Tea: You're going to deal with it. Okay. I mean, for love, life, you know, and especially knowing that you have some options right now to kind of engage with romance, I was really looking for positive cards to meet. Go for it. Right. And negative cards to me, like take a break. So the very first card you got was the disappointment card, the five of cups. So it's like, yeah, you know, you had some expectations of this guy, why wouldn't you? And he acted really erratically and strangely. And you need to step back and, like, heal from that for a minute and make sure that your red flag indicator is optimum. Right. Is, like, totally working and functioning.

Querent: I'm scared. I'm going to go back to this person. That's what's freaking me out.

Michelle Tea: Well, I figured there was more to it because you wouldn't have told that whole story about him was like, just pick the three of swords tarot card for that. Don't go back to him. I mean, I think he's probably in love with love. And you know what? What's not to love? Love is beautiful, but like that isn't that is a sort of weird, you know, whirlpool that can really get sucked into to Pisces, who all Pisces are a little bit in love with love. You know, the next card that you have here is the hanged man. So, you know, that's the second time that card has come up tonight and we just got started. So that's you just taking a break, right? That is an uncomfortable pause so that you can get something out of it. So like, yes, you want to like detox this guy and then you got the seven of swords is the last one, which is like the seven of swords is all about like, well, this looks good on paper. The fantasy of it is really cool. Why doesn't it actually make me happy? Like, that's the that's the gist of the seven of swords. In the crowded deck. So so, you know, you really need to, like, root out, like what fantasies you might still be harboring about this person and be really honest with yourself and maybe even do one of those cord cuttings.

Querent: You know, totally sucks like the cut of the cord. Is that and like that stuff. Yeah. Yeah. Like half of the cards were like in my favor on that one.

Michelle Tea: But listen, also work is a great thing for you to throw yourself into right now. Anything that work asks of you, if it asks you to go on a trip, if it asks you to change your residence, say yes to it. The centerpiece card for your career right now is the chariot. And it's like work. Work is your booth right now, and that's just going to build you up so that like, you know, you're never going to have a lack of suitors. So this is going to like just build you up in a really core way so that, I don't know, like you're just a little bit less likely to fall, you know, to trip on some bullshit in there, which everybody does, of course. Right? There's a lot of bullshit in romance, but it just seems like this is where your energy is best spent. Your other cards for career Ace of Swords is starting to go into this.

Querent: I have a quick question because this might also some maybe my perception for me and I'm sorry to cut you off, but is I'm thinking career change right now. And I just kind of want to know if I'm going in the right direction with that.

Michelle Tea: Absolutely. A new direction would be great. You have the Ace of Swords, which is all about starting out on a new direction, a change. The Chariot is all about changes as well. And then you got the game card, Venus in Virgo, which I love, because I feel like you need a Venus and Virgo makeover right now. Like Venus is obviously the love card and, you know, being ruled by Pisces, you're ruled by the fantasy card, right? So it's all about like getting right with what you want romantically and clearing out a little bit, that fantasy. And with Virgo, it's like Virgo sees things for what they truly are to a fault. Sometimes, you know, they're too critical. They can see they can see to too much of the bad thing sometimes. But but I feel like it's what you need. And I really believe that. Like, so sinking all of your energy into your career sector is going to do wonders to help you out and help you move past this and get into a better shape. For, you know, whenever your romance sphere is next, open to you–.

Querent: Are the cards are seeing anything for health. And I ask that because I've been kind of on the cusp of making history with something lately. And I just want to know if there is a change happening or if there's something good or something there.

Michelle Tea: Well, you know, I hate picking cards for health if anything's wrong. See a doctor. But I just picked the–

Querent: No, no, no.

Michelle Tea: Yeah, I picked the six of cups. Pleasure. It's a very positive card. Okay, okay. But get a second opinion from an actual doctor.

Querent: Oh, no, no, no, I'm fine. It's about me, like helping the better with what I have. And, like, now it's becoming somebody very famous now has it? It's becoming a good thing. And I just want to see, because I. I just want to see it. Maybe it's all going to shift.

Michelle Tea: Okay we have to move on, line up and thinking about it. Good luck with everything. All right. Next up, we get a real little one that came in through the Instagram. Oh, and I got to tell you guys again, every week I get to tell you, I never will follow you on Instagram and then ask you if you want a reading when when that happens to you, that's a scammer. Please report them. You don't need to tell me about it. It happens all day. Every day. It's so annoying. So there you go. Okay. I would love some guidance about what to do this summer. I just finished my last semester of undergrad and feeling overwhelmed, currently wanting to take a year off before pursuing a master's or Ph.D. but currently unsure if I want to dove into the field of social work. What I went to school for. Or if I want to do a more laid back job this summer. Well, this was an easy peasy one. And I picked some cards from the vendor Jack know for for going and jumping into your career that you trained for. The first card you got is the high priestess. So you're like, damn. Okay, awesome. The next one, though, is The Ten of Swords, which gives a totally different read for me to the High Priestess. It's like, oof, you know, deep in your gut that you do not want to do this right now. You need a break and then, you know, the next one that comes up is the four of discs which, you know, came up and came up earlier. And that's when, you know, you're just clutching. You're just, like holding on. So that doesn't look too good. And. But what I love about seeing the high priestess there is that, you know, it, you know, I mean, we always know. Right. But but we always go to the scarecrow. I mean, that's all I've been doing is sitting in bed playing with tarot cards, right, while I'm recovering from COVID. So for having a nice, like, easy job this summer, you first got the Ace of Lines, which is beautiful. Like, that's fun. That's like a fun summer. And then, you know, the next one that you got is the ten of Pentacles. And in this deck, the ten of Pentacles is really nice and it's about, you know, things coming to fruition. And what I see that as is you earned a rest. Okay? You have been working very hard. You earned a break, you earned an easy summer for yourself. And then your final card page of wines, which I love, that, you know, the page does not have a whole bunch of responsibilities. The page is just starting out and you can embrace that right now. It's not going to be like this forever. So, yes, have a great summer. Okay, let's see who has their hands up. Danielle, you are on. Hello. You're muted. So unmute yourself. Okay?

Querent: Okay. Hello.

Michelle Tea: Hello. How can the tarot help you tonight?

Querent: I'm. I'm so excited. I got to you. Thank you for everything that you do, Michelle.

Michelle Tea: Well, welcome.

Querent: I have a love question as well. So when I get your energy reading from the cards, I met something about two years ago. We kept it casual for all of that time, mostly because of me not being ready to commit. And admittedly I have some issues with vulnerability. But anyways, about two months ago I decided to give things a shot with her and it's been going really well. But I have this nagging feeling it won't go away, just that I can't really shake. Like, is this the right person for me? I just want the energy reading the little like that.

Michelle Tea: But you're not saying that there's been red flags or anything. It's just sort of an intuitive. It's either one of those things. You're like, This is intuition or anxiety, and I can't tell the difference.

Querent: And I have a I have a really bad track record with like at this point, I think it's, you know, me, go with my intuition, it's the right thing, but then ends up being sort of.

I feel that, okay, let's see what you have to say about this person. You got really an interesting call. So the very first one that came up is the three of one. So three of wands in the Crawley deck is an especially like magical card to me it's called virtue. And you know, the Crawley deck talks a lot about how bonds are. It's our drive, it's our will, it's our it's our life's essence. And the three we see, our life's essence being put into exactly the perfect place that it's supposed to go. So that's really beautiful. That's a big, big yes card. It's it's sun in Aries. It's like, yes, go for it. I always see it as like the universe is the universe cards, little sister. So so that is a really, really good card for you. The next card that comes up is the ten of wands. So the ten ones is a rough card. It's Saturn in Sagittarius. And the essence of it is like I at some point I wanted to do this and now here I am and I don't know that I want to do it anymore. So are you are you getting a feeling right now that you kind of want to run from this relationship?

Querent: Yeah, yeah. And yeah. Really there's not any real reason why I feel that way? I think it's a lingering feelings of being uncomfortable with being close to somebody.

Michelle Tea: So. Sure. Totally, totally. So you're hitting that place that feels so familiar, right? So Sagittarius is very optimistic. It's like, okay, I'm gonna try this out. I'm going to go for it. This person seems great. And then Saturn comes in and there's just like all of the worries, all the worst case scenarios, and it creates a friction and a crisis. Your final card is really interesting. It's the Prince of Swords. So in the Crowley deck, the Prince of Swords. Is this character who's riding a chariot and he wants to move forward, but he's realizing that the ferries pulling his chariot are too weak to actually do the job. They're just little fairies. He needs, like, unicorns or something. He doesn't have them. So he has his his sword sort of held back. He's about to cut their reins and try something new. He doesn't know what he's going to try next. He's in uncharted territory, but he knows that what he's been doing isn't working. It's not getting him where he wants to be. So to me, this is telling a real story about like, you know, if if because your first card is so beautiful to me, it's saying like, this is a good situation for you. Like the relationship is good, the person is trustworthy, you know, you can trust your instincts and the instinct that you had to take a chance with him was good. But yet you find yourself at this crossroads that you find yourself a lot. And what's actually great is that now you get a chance to do something different. You know, if in the past what you've done is sort of been like, okay, bye. This feels really uncomfortable. I'm out of here. You know, what you can do this time is I don't know. You know, go seek seek therapy. Just stick it out. Be honest with him. Talk to friends. I don't know. You know, whatever is accessible and feels right for you. But yeah, I'm seeing that this is like a good time for you to actually dig a little deeper into the situation. And I mean, you have a real quiet power about you. Like, it seems to me that, you know, maybe where this comes from and maybe it's not so much about like figuring out, you know, why you have this pattern, but figuring out how to move beyond it. And usually it's just like doing something different and teaching yourself different responses.

Querent: Thanks makes a lot of sense. Okay. I really appreciate that.

Michelle Tea: Well, I appreciate you. Thanks for coming to ask the Tarot. And I wish you a lot of success with this because, you know, we all have weird patterns in relationships. And unfortunately, to get through them, we have to actually be in the relationship. Otherwise they just don't come up, you know?

Querent: Exactly. Now, that makes total sense in all tracks. I really appreciate your help. And, yeah, it's really, really helpful.

Michelle Tea: Good. I'm glad we're all rooting for you. Thank you. Okay, bye bye. All right. We have another this is a very involved love problem that came into my Instagram. So it begins so much like yourself. I am a sober alcoholic. It's true, you guys. I am a sober alcoholic. I've been happily and gratefully sober since December of 2019 and am super active in 12 step recovery. September of 2020. My partner, who I had been with long distance her in Oakland, California and in Seattle for three years, abruptly out of the blue broke up with me, citing her resentments towards my past, drinking as the main reason she couldn't be with me. I was nine months sober at the time. She was also depressed and stressed with the pandemic, which I totally understand. Okay, let me see. To be continued in the next message, in our only discussion about our break up, she said something that still haunts me. Quote, You owe me a lot of apologies. Oof! I have not gone through my formal ninth step amends yet. So for those of you who aren't familiar with 12 step programs, it really is like a 12 step of action. And the ninth step is you say you're sorry, the people who were negatively impacted by your drinking or whatever, you know, whatever kind of toxic behavior that you had. And there's a reason that the ninth step amends comes after the eighth. And also there's a reason you do it with a sponsor. You don't do it alone. And yet we only ever had one brief conversation when she broke it off. And we have not spoken for the past year and a half. Oh, that is so wild to get like a oh, no. I mean, I this is my problem, you guys with long distance relationships, people become concepts. It's it's very easy to just think of a person as a concept and, like, not as a human being. And so, like, it's easy to do things like that, but okay, let me see. I have done so much work on myself since then and still still feel uncomfortable with this nagging foreclosure. My ex is very not emotional or spiritual and does not believe in self care. Oh yikes. And doesn't have much love for herself. I feel like. Well, I'm still she has just shelled this relationship up in the closet in her mind and thinks she did all she needed to do. I feel the need to contact her and apologize for the stress and worry I put her through, but also state that she did a bad job breaking up. I'm so scared about how this will be received. Oh my God. It seems like such a bad idea, doesn't it? What can your cards tell me about this quandary?

Okay, so for such. For such a lesbian question, I turned to a very lesbian tarot deck. I turned to the Daughters of the Mirror and my favorite, like second wave lesbian, radical, lesbian, feminist tarot. There's a lot of problems with second wave radical lesbian feminism. I don't need to tell you guys, but that's terrible. That's not one of them. I love this deck, so I hold some cards. What does it look like if you just go in raw, go in hot like you are and make your apology, but also hold her to task for the way she broke up with you for the very first card you got is sorrow, okay? Which is a card about being sad and things feeling emotionally heavy and bad. The three of Pentacles, which is about work, right? Which is an interesting card to come up. So, you know, is there a possibility that you guys will, like, work through this as a result? Possibly. And then the last card is the eight of blades. Swords. It's called decisions in this one. So, you know, I know what you're proposing is kind of a big thing. You're kind of you're making amends in a rather rogue way. Right. It doesn't sound like you've hit your nine step amends. So and it doesn't sound like you're under the tutelage of a sponsor. In fact, you're just under the tutelage of a stranger who reads tarot cards, who happens to be sober. So, you know, it doesn't look as bad as I thought it was going to look, but it doesn't look good with that. With that sorrow card. I then asked, What is my clearance? What if you actually keep working your steps with a sponsor, which I hope you're doing, and you said you're involved in, you know, you're very active in 12 step. So usually in my experience that means you're working the steps. You have a sponsor. I know that COVID has really messed that up for people and everyone's behind on their steps. I get it. But what if you press pause and just do a normal nine step amends? You know, and here's what you got. You got the six of cups in this deck. It's called compassion. And basically the illustrations are like five naked ladies massaging a six naked lady by the shore while a bunch of ocean waves in the form of naked ladies bring them cups. This deck is wild, you guys. It's so good. So that's lovely. Compassion. Compassion for her. Compassion for yourself. Okay. And then you got like it's like the queen of wands, basically. And this one is called Mother of Flames. Leo, 20 go. Is this like Mexican goddess of the hearth? She's like a mom. She's got good mom energy. And I'm just seeing. Is that your response? Sponsor Do you get some great mom sponsor to help you sort this out? You don't have to do this by yourself, right? It sounds messy. And then your final card is this. It's called celebration. So it's it's like the world. I think you guys, if you were intrigued by the six of cups, I have to tell you, the celebration card is like a bunch of naked women dancing the hora together on a giant woman's stomach. It's like Mother Earth, but it's like, fully literal. Like her bush is behind them and her boobs are in front of them. It's totally. The deck is crazy. I think you guys would like it.

But anyway, it's a great card and I'm seeing that as like, yes, man, absolutely. Don't do it alone. Don't just fooling yourself out there with all your sadness and your uncertainty. Get somebody to help you grow them can grow more compassion for both yourself and your acts. You're going to feel good about it when it's time to do it now. I also, because I related to part of your question, I'm also wanting to tell her, you know, what time it is. I mean, I went through a covered divorce as well. And for a while I was very much like, I need a fucking apology, you know? And I just been waiting for my goddamn apology, haven't gotten it. And, you know, it can be really heartbreaking to, like, give that give up, like your bit of justice that you feel like you deserve in a breakup. But I just was wondering, you know, what would it be like if you just sort of let go of your need to kind of tell her that she also didn't do a good job? You know what? If you just kind of let go of that need for the apology and the first card you got was the two of pentacles. It's called balance in this deck is called change in the Crawley deck. So it's very interesting. It's some balance comes in, right. Which is, you know, that's cool. The next one is it's it's like the princess of cups. She's a beautiful African mermaid named Mommy Watch two and she's chill. She's just, like, chilling on her, on her rock, keeping the focus on herself. She doesn't need anything from anyone. And then the last one is the three of blades or the three of swords, which is not that heartbreaking card we normally see with the three of swords in a normal because this is not a normal tarot deck, you guys. Okay. But so this one has three, you guessed it, naked women because all the women in this decker naked like all the time and they're like meditating on the sands of Egypt before, like the Sphinx in a pyramid. And the North Star is shooting beams of consciousness into their. Shakira. Okay. So, you know, but really what it's about is having a clear mind. So I think I say don't do it. Work your steps. Get your sponsor. Work on letting go of needing anything from your ex. Okay. I think you actually might get what you need. I think you might get an acknowledgment, you might get an apology, but it's like one of those weird things that you're going to get it by not asking for it or demanding it. You're going to get it by actually being the bigger person and working a really strong program and coming in and, like, doing your amends when it's time. All right. There you go. And again, you got I could tell I've titillated so many of you with my talk of this project. It's called Daughters of the Moon. It's round, of course, and purple also. Of course. All right. Let's see who has their hands up. And again, you guys, you're listening to ask the tarot. For those of you who came in late, this is live tarot. You can raise your hand or send me your questions. Direct message on Instagram @michelleteaz T-E-A-Z. If you like this show and I hope you do, you can find back episodes at the your magic feed on Spotify. Your magic is my podcast. Okay, cool. Let me see. Who do we have here? All right, Chelle, you are up. And how can the tarot help you tonight?

Querent: Hi. Thank you. Hopefully I will. So I am. I certainly am. I like working at a job that is great money. It's good work, but it's also just really emotionally heavy. And I'm like finding that I sort of dread going to work every day. But so today, just sort of on a whim, I applied to the other positions and I don't know what's going to come of that. I don't even know if I'll be the right answer, if it's just kind of like a I'm sort of like reaching for anything. So I was wondering if maybe you can pull just some cards on that one.

Michelle Tea: For sure. Let's see. Is this the job for you? Let's see what looks like a mug, huh? I think it's a step in the right direction. I don't know if it's going to. Your final card in the three card spread is the moon. So that's why I'm just. I don't know. I don't know if you're going to get it is what I'm going to get from that. But your first two cards are really interesting. The first one is the two of swords, which is peace. It's about having peace of mind. So it's like, yeah, you really need to get out of where you're working right now. And I think that like this, this move that you made is really just to show yourself like there's other there's other jobs out there. I can prioritize my peace of mind. Your next card that came up is the nine of wands, which is moon in Sagittarius strength. So it's like peace of mind and like strength of heart. Like you can get out of there, then you get the moon card. So I think it's saying, I'm got this one, but maybe it is time for you to actually take a change. Oh, my God. I'm like, is it time to take a change seriously and start looking for other jobs? And I just pick the change card for you. The two to have desks, Jupiter and Capricorn. I mean, and Capricorn, you know, rules work and Jupiter rules like good times, better times at work. You don't need to to to be in a workplace that's draining you like that. Yes. Okay.

Querent: Well, that makes total sense. Right. Good. Thank you so much. I hope you feel better.

Michelle Tea: Okay. Good. All right. Okay, cool. All right. Here's one that came in through the transom. Oh, my God. You guys, I'm, like, in my bed. I've never done this from my actual bed before. I can't tell how I feel about it. I usually sit at a desk. It feels much more official. Okay, let me see. Let me see. I relocated to Massachusetts for a romance I thought was the one it failed. And on top of that, I was faced with a life threatening situation that hospitalized me for almost an entire month. Oh, my God, that's awful. 11 surgeries later, and I am finally back on my feet. I want to move and get back to passion. My question is where? Back to back to Colorado or to Arizona? I've been asking the universe for signs and I've gotten mixed signs. Can you assist me with this next step? Well, I'm so glad that you're out of the hospital. 11 surgeries sounds incredibly taxing on a body. I'm glad you're like, you know, wanting to jump into your passion. That's like a really that's really great. So with that in mind, I was like, you know, pull some cards for you. And I'm pulling from the gentle thrills Tara which is like one of my most esthetically favorite decks. I'll put all of these decks I'm pulling from. I'm going to put them on Instagram afterwards from my bed so you guys can all take a peek. So for Colorado, the very first card you got is the hermit. And you know, I actually like that for a question like this because the hermit is one of the few cards that is, you know, he's shown in his home. His cave is a. Home. And it's so important to him, you know, and it's where he heals in a way. You know, the hermit is somebody, if you think about it, he's a character who's sort of looking for healing, like he's going away to take care of himself. And you're like, I get it. You're like Frigg, you know, healing in a cave. I'm done with the hospital. I want my passion. So I get that. But I still think he's good for you. Or in this case, she is good for you because this duck has a female hermit. The next one is the two of cups, and that's love. So like, ding, ding, ding. That is a very nice. That's very nice. You said back to Colorado. So I don't know if you have people there, friends, family, people who really care about you, who you really care about. But that looks beautiful. And then your final one, king of pentacles. I mean, and again, I love this deck. The king of pentacles is a female with like horns and pentacles on her cheeks, and she's just like, boss, you know what I mean? She's like, completely ruling and active. So if you're wanting to go back, that looks great. Colorado looks awesome. Arizona is where I wanted to tell you to go just because I love Arizona. But you got the four cups. The four of cups is like, okay, you know, and then you've got the seven of swords, which is like a better idea than reality, right? And then you've got the Queen of Pentacles. So this is what I think. I think that Colorado is the place for you to go for sure. You know, is your life going to fall apart if you move to Arizona? I really don't think so. I just think there's there's going to be something funny about maybe feeling like you never quite gain your footing or something like that, where I feel like there's a real sense of peace, love and opportunity waiting for you in Colorado. So I really like that for you. Okay. All right. Oh, you're somebody in Arizona. I got to tell you, I think that Tucson, Arizona, is one of the most magical towns in the world. And there's a part of me that always just wants to live there. There. I said it. Okay. Let me see who's got their hands up now. Phillip, you are up. Hello. You're muted.

Querent: Hi, Michelle.

Michelle Tea: Hi.

Querent: Okay. Sorry if I just screamed.

Michelle Tea: No, you didn't. You didn't. Well, sorry. I've been coughing in your face all night. My God.

Querent: Your goodd. It's a beautiful sound. I have a question about my career at the moment. So I graduated during COVID, and I feel like a lot of my momentum, I guess, got quite cut. And so I have kind of just been reevaluating, I guess, what I want to do. I'm trying new interests, but also like moving away, but also trying to reconnect with stuff that used to interest me and kind of my career sphere work. So now I'm faced with these two different job applications, one for one job. I made it pretty extensively through the process. We got pretty much to like the last interviews, and then they basically were saying like, Oh, we want to change a little bit about what the job's going to entail. So we're going to need to have everyone start all over. So that kind of came as a surprise and I guess it's kind of a disappointment after I had like quit four months into this process and then finding out we're going to have to start it all over was kind of a letdown. And then now I found this new job where I guess to preface this, the the first job that has more to do with like my newer interests and like skills, I'm like more interested in developing now coming out of COVID. But this newer job is the it has more to do with things I was interested in before, before COVID, when I was more active out in the community and such. But it's kind of looking like a brighter option, especially in lieu of the kind of reset that the first job has has taken and the roster options. But I guess I'm just wondering what the tarot has to say about which witch paths or horrible path is looking.

Michelle Tea: Okay. So first I'm going to pull on the the old job that's kind of doing this reshuffling. What does it look like for you to, you know, go forward with them in spite of how really annoying that sounds? And now I'm shuffling, asking about the new job. What does it look like for you to go with this newer job and. Okay, so let's see here. Oh. Oh, the old job looks terrible, Phillip. It looks bad. The new job, I think, will be good, huh? Is there a door number three right now? It's okay if there isn't the. Ooh, I know what I want to ask you. Oh, there is kind of a door number three.

Querent: Not really like a verb, like a kind of a wandering mind type thing.

Michelle Tea: Like, like, is there something else out there?

Querent: What I want to do is.

Michelle Tea: Right.

Querent: Okay. So actually, now you're kind of sparking my imagination a little bit there. So there's a long, long while that I was kind of interested in going into completely separate field from what I went to school for. And but I just never really I kind of dabbled in it, but I never really committed to it was just something that I did for fun or like kind of helped out other friends with when they were like needing needing help or just like I guess, I don't know, support and, but it's something that I've been interested in. And so I guess I'm kind of wondering about that as like a third.

Michelle Tea: Okay, I'm going to focus on that right now. What does this third option look like if you were to move into that? Huh? That's really.

Querent: So what it's about, what were you going to ask me, Michelle?

Michelle Tea: Oh, I was also going to ask. Okay, so if you take the new job, is there any sort of like like are you going to get in a fight with your old job if you have a fight card? That's that's the only thing I'm wondering about. So let me just break it down.

Querent: Let me pick funding that came up, because I guess to give a little bit more context, before COVID, I was very and all through school, I was very involved in like activism and social justice. Oh, and so and then and what I went to school for, I was journalism. And so coming out. Graduating during COVID and then kind of trying to enter that as a workforce when like nothing was really happening, the whole world kind of went on pause, right? And so they kind of like stepped away from that. And then also just the deal with COVID as as as what it is as a pandemic, I mentioned that I kind of stepped away from like community and not that I'm not interested in that anymore. It's just it's been kind of stressful for me to try to reenter that. And also I kind of moved across the country in like a weird whim. So that's weird too. But I know.

Michelle Tea: So the the old job that's being restructured is a journalism thing.

Querent: The old job that's getting restructured is more of like a marketing type thing.

Michelle Tea: Okay, that's bad. Don't do that job. The very first card you have is the ten of swords. It's awful. It's like you already know. It's been nagging at you that this doesn't feel right and it's not right. Your next card is the four of cups, which in the Crawley deck especially really highlights that there's something unstable about it. It just like, doesn't feel like something you can really sink into. Know your place, know your tasks, trust it, and then your last card is the five of desks worry. So it's like, oh, it's like every bad card in the deck for that. I don't like it. So in the next, the new job is something that's more about activism.

Querent: Yeah. So pretty much directly like it's for a pretty well-known act like activist organization or social change act organization. And so that's like kind of more directly than what I was like.

Michelle Tea: And that is so funny and so great and I love that. That is what The Princess of Swords is representing in this call, because she is like an activist, like she in the illustration, in the in the Crowley deck. She's just like this amazing, badass person who is destroying a temple because the temple is corrupt, you know, and there's other ways to deal with it. Maybe she could ask to speak to the manager. She's not. She's just like, I'm taking down this corrupt as temple and she's destroying it. So I really actually love her for this for you, because the next two cards are really good. The next one is the three of disks and that is a work card. It's Mars in Capricorn. Capricorn wants to move forward, it wants to work right in Mars is an engine. Mars also wants to work. It wants something to do. So this is really, really great. And also you got the two of desks, which is change. And so it's like, yeah, it's time for a change that this will, you know, be bringing into your life and also you're going to be working for change. So it's like the change card just makes sense in so many ways that I love. Yeah, astrologically it's Jupiter and Capricorn. So to get to Capricorn cards on a job pole is really good. I think it's auspicious. I did pick those three cards for this other thing that you like to do and like, can this, you know, is this something you can monetize at some point? Maybe it doesn't look like you quite understand how to do that right now. You know, you've got the the nine of of wands, which is strength. It's, you know, Moon and Sagittarius and then also the four of swords, truth, Jupiter and Libra. So it's like this is clearly something you're very good at and that brings you pleasure. But also in the middle you have the Prince of Swords and he just doesn't know how to make it happen. So just know that if that's something you want to put more of your time into down the line sorting that out, it could be good for you, but you really have to figure it out for now. I say go with this activism job. It looks really great for you, you know?

Querent: Thank you so much. I'll get the rest. It's hard, you know?

Michelle Tea: No, that's awesome. I'm so glad it was helpful. You're welcome. Thank you. All right. Oh, we have 5 minutes. I can pull somebody else out from here. Jan, if I said your name right, I hope I have Jan. Maybe it's just Jean, but you look for that.

Querent: Hello?

Michelle Tea: Hello.

Querent: Hi. Oh, I. Hi, guys. I really do recall. Hi. So my question is a weird question. Okay. I've been looking for work since last year and I finally got a job offer just last week. That so happens that I got another job. Well, more like an interview. Not really an offer, but opportunity. So because I kind of got a little scared, took the first one, and it's a great job. They actually value me and I definitely feel like the welcoming, the second job, I just kind of feel like them. But the one that I wanted because I connected more with I'm in design and but I just I guess I just want to know that I make the right choice. You know, with the thing that with Job A, I just don't want to be like, oh, the weather, you know, and right.

Michelle Tea: Oh, God yeah. You don't wanna be haunted by the.

Querent: They both had incredible benefits, incredible people. 1/2 job was definitely more recognized for her work in my design realm, when a lot of the other one is just men's were older women. But still I, you know, I value the people, but.

Michelle Tea: Okay, well, first I'm going to pick three cards on the job that you said. Yes. To write the job that the first job I'm picking three cards. And what's that going to look like for you? What's the energy there like? And we're looking at like, what's your highest good? Like what's in your highest interest now? Yeah, we're going to look and see. What about this other job that you just interviewed for? What does that look like? God, when it rains, it pours. I can't believe that. Like, after looking for a year, you're in this situation. So this is the, you know, something? It actually looks like the job the job that you're in is better for you. It actually looks really good. The very first card that came up is the ten of disks, which in the Crawley deck is called wealth. And we just love seeing that for a work card, right? It's like, yeah, they do have good benefits. Like you're being very compensated there. And yeah, it's an awesome I believe it's an it's a Virgo card. And your next card though and this is what's really getting me is the star. I mean. Yeah, that's really amazing. There's something about the way you spoke about it where it seemed like maybe there's something more old guard about this one and maybe the one you just interviewed for. There's something maybe a little bit maybe it feels a little bit more contemporary for you, but it looks like you will be a valued in this job. And you might be you know, there's something maybe about you being the one who is, you know, if you're working with older people. So there's something about you're going to be the person there that everyone is looking to for the relevance, for the youth energy, for like to bring that, that extra exciting energy down. And you're going to do so well at that. You also have the two of disks, which is the change card, and it's Jupiter and Capricorn. I think there's a lot of room for you to move in this job. Capricorn wants to keep climbing and getting more and more and more, and Jupiter is like, Oh, you want more, more, more? Here has more and more and more. I mean, it's a it's a great card. I mean, that's an amazing lineup for, you know, for a job. For the other job. It's it's a weird it's weird. I mean, the last card is the death card. So yeah. So right there, I'm just like, I don't know, something's weird about this. Like, it's not going to last. Does the company go under? Did you know? Do they have, like, a reshuffling that messes with your position? I don't know. The very first card is the night of disks, and they just don't love the night of disks for, you know, a job kind of thing. It's I mean, she is creative and I don't know. I just feel like we what we want to see you moving. That's the energy that I'm getting for you. And he's not moving. The next card is the art card. So there is something here for you like I get while you're why you're attracted to this place. The art card is a great card, but to have it flanked by the night of disks on one side and then the death card on the other, it's just telling me that there's not necessarily room for you to to move or grow there. And I really see that in this other place. In the place you're working. Yeah.

Querent: Okay. That I mean, that makes me feel better because I was, you know, just I was hoping I made the right choice and not, like, based off of fear. But I. I genuinely loved the first interview with the first job.

Michelle Tea: Oh, good.

Querent: You know, I thought the warmth, you know?

Michelle Tea: Yeah. I mean, yeah, it seems like they they they see you. I mean, the star card comes up, it's like you get to let your freak flag fly at this. Like, you get to be yourself. You're going to be valued for that. So what's better than that?

Querent: Yeah. Okay, amazing. Well, thank you so much. My remaining piece, I think.

Michelle Tea: Oh, my goodness. Oh, I'm sorry to cut you off a little a little faster. I didn't mean to. Oh, my God. I'm seeing Lacey asking if anyone else went out it. Alastair Crawley K Hole. I'm so happy to hear people like that episode because I really enjoy doing those type of episodes that require, you know, research and they're so juicy. And I have a couple of other Crawley themed episodes like In My Head that we're going to do. So I'm really happy you guys like that. And I'm so happy you were here tonight. Thanks for being part of the of the show. You know, we do this every single Thursday, 6:00 on the East Coast I'm sorry, 6:00 on the West Coast. 9:00 on the. East Coast. And you can always listen to episodes on the your magic feed at Spotify. And I'll see you guys next week. And I'm planning on having having eradicated this cough by then. But thank you so much for all the well-wishes and have a magical week, you guys.

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Michelle Tea: Hi, friends. Remember to catch. Ask the tarot live right here on Spotify every Thursday at 9 p.m. Eastern. You can join me for a journey through the cycles of life, love, aspiration, all in real time. Want me to do a reading for you? Just download the Spotify Live app for free today. It's available in the App Store and you can join me. Every week I go live, you'll be able to meet really unique people, chat with other listeners, and even ask questions of your own. Remember, you can always listen to ask the Tarot live on Spotify every Thursday at 9 p.m. Eastern. Want to be part of the conversation? Download the Spotify Live app for free today and make sure to follow the Ask the Tarot show page to be notified every time we go live.

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