Ask The Tarot: School Is a Struggle – Is There Something Else Meant for Me?

This is a recording of our Spotify Live show from April 21, 2022. Tune in on Spotify every Thursday at 6 PM PT/9 PM ET to catch Michelle Tea’s tarot readings. Or listen on the Spotify Live app where you can join the chat — you’ll even have a chance to ask the tarot what’s on your mind.

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This transcript is AI-generated and may not be 100% perfect. If you notice something wrong, just email hello@thisisyourmagic.com.

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Michelle Tea: Hey, everyone. So thank you so much for tuning in. I am wondering, did you know that you can now join ask the Tarot every Thursday at 9 p.m. Eastern live on Spotify. That's right, lies. But we all know the best part of tarot isn't just listening. It's getting your own cards read. Have a question about your future or your past, maybe about your love life or your career. I want to hear from you. All you have to do is download the Spotify Live app in your app store or click the link in our episode descriptions to sign up for free. Then follow ask the Tarot and the Spotify Live app to get notified every time I go live and hear what the tarot has in store. Why miss out on that?

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Michelle Tea: Hello, everybody. Welcome to another edition of Ask the Tarot on Spotify Live. I am your host, Michelle Tea. I'm the author of the book Modern Tarot and I'm the host of the mystical podcast, Your Magic, also on Spotify. And I'm here to pick tarot cards for you. Thank you for being here to listen or, you know, solicitor, tarot reading. Here's how it works. Okay. If you would like me to pull cards for you, just raise your hand. I will try my best to get to you. There's always more people than I can get to. I saw that. Austin just, you know, raise your hand, okay? And I'll try to get to you. There's another way. Also, you can DM me over at my Instagram. It's at Michel Cheese A-Z and you can, you know, write me, you know, write out what your question is. And on a future edition, I will read your question and poll cards for you. That's how I do it. I know sometimes you don't want to talk, right? You just want to, like, be super anonymous. I understand if you are with us for the first time. Thank you for being here. We do this every Thursday night, six on the West Coast and nine on the East Coast. And if you want to listen to bad episodes because you love it so much, you can do that just by searching. Ask the hero in the Spotify feed and the back episodes will pop up. And if you guys are listening on Spotify and you're like, Wait a second, I want to raise my hand and ask a question. Just pop over to Spotify live. It's very easy. Easier than ever. Okay. I'm very excited. I'm going to start with a question that came in to my Instagram and it says, I'm wrapping up a graduate degree. It's been a long, arduous process, not least because of the pandemic. And I feel like a different person than I did when I started. Hello, fools journey. That was the question. Say not not me, but like, very good. I did other work before school and I'm not sure that I want to continue with academia. There have also been interesting creative possibilities that have developed recently, so I'm considering my options. This could go a few ways. I look for teaching jobs right away. I take a break and do something else for a bit and then start the academic job search. I keep a foot in both worlds. I love that this person really knows how many options there are. Like we all have so many more options than we think most of the time, I think. And then what's the last one here? I leave academia altogether by academia. I would love to know what the cards have to say. Oh, and I'm Pisces, Sun, Aries, Moon Rising. Oh, my God, you guys. This is a returning querent. They put a little piece and it says The reading that you did from early quarantine was right on. That relationship eventually flamed out spectacularly because they weren't ready. But we made it through quarantine, and it was a blast while it lasted. Oh, my God. I love it. I love your attitude.

Michelle Tea: Okay, so I picked some cards on all of these options, and it looks like, you know, you're not saying bye bye to academia, but you are saying like, hold on a minute, academia, I need some space. So I'm pulling from this deck called the alchemical tarot deck. I think it's quite beautiful. So what was the first one here? Looking for a teaching job right away. Here's the good part. There's no bad move here. Like you're. You're future. You're in a charmed moment. All of your options will take you to a good place. But some will take you to a better place. So I'll let you know for looking for teaching right away. You have the knight of coins. King of coins and strength. So what I'm seeing here with these earth signs and then with the strength card, you know, the strength card is sort of about having to subdue our animal passions. I feel like it's not what you want to do, right? You have to kind of access that strength card and kind of like push down your your desire to sort of like loaf about or do something more fun. And if you did do it, king of coins, you know, you'll get the teaching job. You know, that's that's pretty great. However, is it your path? It's actually not the next one. Where is it? Do something else for a bit and then start the academic job search. Ding, ding, ding. That is yours. Now, this is a little bit of a stressful choice for you. You did get the nine of swords, which is about having to battle some fears, some anxieties, some negative stories that we have in our head. I don't know if doing something else or taking a break is something that seems really taboo to you. Like if you feel a real pressure to be super productive or an achiever, but you have the world card here. So this is definitely the best path for you. Whenever the world card or the universe card comes up to me, that is the biggest signifier. Even if there's some rough cards, it's still it's still your path. The third card also is the three of wands, which I really like. It's like, yes, this is, you know, please explore some other interests. Okay. So, yeah, I like that for you. And then. You know what the other ones say? What do we have here for? What is the other? Keeping a foot in both worlds. Can't you have the king of staffs, which is the king of wands? Knight of vessels, which is the knight of cups. And then you have the eight of cups. You know, you could you could do that. That would actually keep you sort of motivated and inspired. But it's not as good as the other one. Okay. Now, leaving academia altogether. You got the tower card for that. And it's not a break through tower where like on the other side, it's the star. And you're like, oh my God, I totally ended my toxic relationship with academia, and now I'm a new person. It's not that. It's more like it's the wrong thing to do. You know, you've got the tower with the eight of swords, which is just about like kind of trying to keep it together on the inside. And you also got it with the nine of cups, which is, you know, it's okay which that nine of cups of something that's also making me again feel like whatever you do, you're just a little blast right now. Like you got a lot of different possible roads open to you and they're all kind of sunny. But I really think you should figure out what is that thing that you want to do before you return to academia and make it really good? Make it worth it. Okay.

Michelle Tea: Well, now we got one out of the way and I'm going to turn to you guys. Let's see who's got their hands up. Meg. Hi. How can I help you tonight?

Querent: I was wondering if you can do this. Let's see here. Like a drawer about my house.

Michelle Tea: Okay. Is there anything special about your house that you want to know about?

Querent: Well, I'm, like, so nervous, to be honest.

Michelle Tea: I mean, you don't have to tell me how ridiculous. Do you want to see what's the vibe of your house right now?

Querent: Yeah, like, okay, I'm starting to come down, but the only member who's going to help me buy a house and I want to know, like, how is that going to go? Is this a good idea? And then, like, when wins and when is a good time to do that? Like within the next six months. Next? I don't know. Okay. I'm hoping it'll be as soon as possible. And the best place ever rates high.

Michelle Tea: I want it now. Okay, first thing I'm going to do is just pull cards to see what does it look like for you to go forward with this plan. And let me see what we've got here for you. Oh, it looks so good, Mag. I'm so psyched for you. Okay, let me just tell you what came up. You got three major Arcana Cards. Now, you guys, for tarot beginners, especially, the tarot is divided into two segments, the major arcana and the minors. The minors are great and important. They're kind of like playing cards almost. The major arcana are they're the cards that come up when there's like a big moment happening. They're more significant. So to get three major Arcana cards, it's like, if this was a slot machine, you just would have won a bunch of money. Okay, your first one is the star. Like, has it always been a dream of yours to have your own house? Oh, God, the stars are a dream coming true. It's about making a big wish on a big star and like having the vision and the wherewithal to, like, make it happen. So that is beautiful. The next card you have here is adjustment. So that's really interesting. It's, you know, it's a riff on the justice card. And usually when it comes up, we have to just make some real choices. We have to be we're weighing our options. It's a very mental card. It's Libra. So we want everything to be harmonious as possible. And we're sort of looking at the landscape and making selections based on that. My guess is you're going to have to make a bunch of choices, right? Or some decisions. Yeah, but that's good. That's good. Oh, my God. I just picked the lover's card for you as well. Like, this is a really this is a really big deal. Your first your last card is the hermit. And, you know, the hermit is such an interesting card to me, but I like him for a house card because, you know, he is sort of defined by his house. Right. He's a hermit because he lives in a cave, you know. So I feel like he's really about finding your own space, finding a space that is, like sacred to you, it's special to you. It's where you can kind of get in touch with yourself. This is a Virgo card. And, you know, Virgo is an Earth sign. They're very linked to their homes as well. So I just see that this is a great, great move for you. So you want to know whether to do it? Do you want to know whether to do it sooner or if it's going to happen sooner?

Querent: I guess I kind of I just need to put together and I just want to know when it's going to happen. I mean, I would like for it to happen as soon as possible. It always seems like there are obstacles that come up, right?

Michelle Tea: So I mean, it's hard to do that with tarot because. Okay. Let me see. I'm going to do something like see fortune tellers do sometimes. So I'm going to go out a little bit on a limb here. And since the tarot are all numbered, I'm going to ask the tarot to give me a number that is significant for you as far as like when you're we know your house is going to happen for you. When is it going to happen? Let's see if we get a good number, a good helpful number in the card that came up is a five. So I would say a little over five weeks or five months. I don't believe it's going to be five years. Right. I mean, when you're in it, you wouldn't have gotten those big cards if it was going to take that long. So I would say five weeks or five months.

Querent: Okay, great.

Michelle Tea: You're welcome. Good luck to you.

Querent: Thank you so much. Have a good one.

Michelle Tea: You're welcome. You too. Bye. Oh, my God. You guys, I have to say, Meg's profile picture is this, like, beautiful, soulfully I little puppy. And I just felt like I was reading that puppies cards just now. And I'm so happy that that little puppy is going to get a nice little dog house. All right. I'm going to read a card that has come in to my Instagram. And here's a little note about the Instagram. You guys and I say this every week and I have to keep saying it because every week people are getting scammed on Instagram and this is what is happening. There are scammers that are cloning my Instagram account, right? It looks like mine. They'll put an extra letter in, you don't even notice it. And then they contact you and they're just like, Oh, hello. They use this language I would like never use. They're like, Oh, hello. My beloved Spirit has told me that the ancestors want me to pull cards for you. Please send $60 to this shady ass, you know, I don't know, you know, Venmo account right now, so that's not me. I never asked you if you want a tarot reading except right here on Ask Chair. The only time I'm like, Hey, do you guys want to do a reading? You know, I let people contact me, and that's true for all tarot readers. So if you get, you know, if you follow other, you know, woo woo people on Instagram and suddenly they're reaching out to you, it's not them, I promise you.

Michelle Tea: Okay. Here is the question. I have been having a time and a half lately. January, my mental health took a nosedive and I've been struggling to get my footing from that. I started therapy and medication right on for taking care of yourself. Parent But I'm feeling very stuck in this darkness. I'm curious if I'm on the right path to healing or if there's something that needs to change, either with medication or therapy. I'm also in a fun transition period of just graduating college with a photography degree, and I'm now working a 9 to 5. I think the fun, the mention of fun was sarcastic. You guys, this 9 to 5 has been killing my spirit since I am someone who thrives without a constant routine. I originally thought of staying at this job for about two years to save up, but should I start thinking about pursuing a master's degree sooner and trying to teach? All right. So, gosh, I'm really feeling this person has, like, a lot going on. And let's pull some cards, you know, very, very good job seeking therapy and medication for your depression. That shit, you know, you can't take yourself out of it. You cannot wish yourself out of it. You can't, like pull yourself up by your bootstraps. I mean, we're talking about, you know, chemical deals as somebody who is medicated herself. So good for you for like taking it seriously. Let's see what it looks like first with your medication. Make sure that you know you're on that the right dose, you got the right meds. Sometimes it takes a little bit. Right. So I'm picking three cards to see what that looks like in therapy. Let's see what your therapy looks like for you right now. You know, sometimes it takes it's so heartbreaking to have to, like, try out a few different therapists. It's, like, so exhausting, especially when you're depressed, but it's so important to have a good one, don't you think? And just to be clear, you guys, I am in no way picking cards about like, should you be on meds or should she be in therapy like 100% support the therapy and the meds. It's just more like is this, you know, the right balance right now? Right now, let's see. What does it look like for the job front to stay at the job for the two years like you were thinking? I mean. See what that looks like. You made a pact to yourself. All the sounds so solid. Sounds like it makes sense, right? So let me pull three on that. But, you know, getting a master's degree is also completely awesome. So what about that? What about getting a master's degree? I love that my husband is getting his master's. I have a husband. You guys got married like a little over a month ago. Okay, so let's see, what is the meds? What are the meds look like for you? They're good. They're going to be good. That's what I think. I mean, it's very, very crucial for me, again, to say I can't say this clearly enough. I am a tarot reader. You guys okay? I'm not a doctor. I'm not a therapist. I'm none of those things. So absolutely. I'm going to tell you what the tarot is suggesting about your medication. But please make sure that if anything feels really weird or off or you start feeling worse, don't flashback on what I'm saying. Call your doctor, okay? I'm not a doctor. Bodies are real. Chemicals are real. So what I'm seeing, though, as far as what this looks like, your final card is the Empress. So I'm seeing that like. Yes, it really it really is a great path for you, a path of self-love, to be medicating yourself and helping yourself out of this moment. The very first card is the Prince of Swords, and he is, like frustrated that his chariot isn't moving fast enough. Right. So often when he comes up, we need to make a change. But what's interesting is the card that's right after him is the knight of disks, and he is a card that is really promoting patience. So, you know, I see this, I see a frustrated I want this to work and then I see a patient night of disks and then I see the grand payoff with the Empress. I think that maybe it's just like I think it's like letting it letting it kind of kick in any and gosh, by January maybe you would hope for a little bit more of a lift. Please talk to your doctor, but it looks like you're on the right path with that. Oh, my God. Are you in love with your therapist? You're the best therapist ever. You just got amazing cards for therapy. Love, first of all, which is beautiful. Then you got the six of wands victory. I love this victory of the spirit. And then the ace of wands. Wow. Now, if that's not a card about having, like, a breakthrough and starting a new cycle, the ace of wands. Your therapy is going to be amazing for you. Please give it your all. Don't hold back. It looks awesome. You know, the meds look awesome, too. It just looks like it's a little bit. You might have to tweak your dose, you know, talk to somebody about that. But I don't think it's a major like, you know, changing your dose or anything. It looks like the year on is right. But maybe tweak the dose, the amount. Okay. Anyway, let's see, we get a couple more. What does it look like for you to stay in this job? Oh, it's bad, my little friend. It looks like, you know, no good for you. You want to get out of it? I think. Wait, what is. What does a school look like? Huh? School looks tricky, but I think you can do it. Okay, so staying at the job we have, you know, first we have the eight of wands, which is Mercury in Sagittarius. It's so inspired, it's so does not want to be confined by a 9 to 5 and it's followed by the five of wands strife. So I'm seeing that really clearly as like, you know, here's the question with all of her bursting creative energy and then there's the five just shutting it down. The final card in this pool is the queen of Swords. And, you know, she's the one that takes a step back, looks at the situation and goes like, fuck, no, no, we're we're getting rid of this. You know, she's got a sword in one hand and what appears to be a decapitated head in the other, I'm not going to lie. This is the top deck I'm on now. So yeah, I'm saying I'm seeing that this means this job cannot accommodate your beautiful energy and you need to get out. Now, as far as getting your masters, there's something that you need to overcome to make that happen. You know it actually. And I'm like, maybe it's mental health issues, right? The very first card that comes up is the Nine of Swords, which is an anxiety card. It's called cruelty in this deck. It's stressful. The next card you have, though, is the six of cups, which is beautiful and it's called pleasure. So there's like it's a little unbalanced. Right? And then your last card is adjustment, the justice card, the card that wants to balance and harmonize, you know, while you're in the midst of going through all of this stuff and get trying to get on track with your mental health, it's possible that it just might not be the best moment for you to start looking into the grand program. Or maybe you can start looking, but like just take it really easy. Make sure you're prioritizing your mental health. Yeah, that's what I would say about that. I do think that a master's program is ultimately a great idea for you, for sure. You just want to make sure that like you are in a good, stable place where you can kind of take on that workload. That course, load that focus and give it your all. So if that means that you have to stay at your job for like a minute longer, I think you can do it. Just know that like that is not your place. You're not meant to be there. It's just it's just a little stepping stone. So I hope that that was helpful. You have a lot of compassion from the folks here in the chat, as usual, because it's the sweetest, kindest chat in the whole world.

Michelle Tea: Okay. I'm going to put these cards back and see who is inside with their hands up now. Um, let me see. Did Austin come back? Nuke? All right, Lenny, you are up.

Querent: Me?

Michelle Tea: Oh, yeah, you. Lenny.

Querent: Hi.

Michelle Tea: How are you?

Querent: I'm. I'm good. I'm so happy you called on me. It's so funny because that you were just answering a question about medication, because that is also my question. Oh, all right. All right. So I've been on anti-depressants for about three years, and they really they really changed my life. I love I love my meds. And I'm really happy that I went on them for the past. I guess like six months, I've been sort of sort of starting to question like maybe I should think about reducing them or going off them or something like that. And obviously, you know, no matter what you say, I'll definitely talk to my doctor about it and do my research. So don't worry about that. But I do sort of want to know like, I don't know. I just I guess just because I'm doing so well after being on them, I'm like, is this just the meds or you know, is there is the reality is there a reality where I can go off of these and still maintain, I don't know, like the peace that I found, but also maybe have a bit more access to the negative emotions that I don't really have access to right now that I'm sort of missing, if that makes sense.

Michelle Tea: Lenny, are you missing your crazy? I miss my crazy.

Querent: So, yeah, I think I think sometimes I am a little bit like I really miss crying. I never cry anymore.

Michelle Tea: Oh, my God. I'm so jealous. I still cry even with my meds. I miss going to like a shoe store and being able to totally get dopamine like high off of just like looking at really expensive shoes. My purse that I can still get, although I don't get it.

Querent: So like, I can still, I still can get super overwhelmed, like going into a store and get high off of that. I just can't cry. I can't cry and I don't get mad. And sometimes I feel like maybe those emotions, like, I could be helpful in certain situations.

Michelle Tea: Okay. All right. Well, I'm going to shuffle right now, announce the terror. What would it look like for you? Do we want to say like do we want to do two pulls? We want to do what would it look like for you to reduce your dose? Yeah, maybe do do reduce and then like off, I guess if that makes sense. I mean, obviously don't listen to a frickin word I say because I'm a tarot reader and it's really common for people to feel better on their meds because they're doing the job because what is what is wrong? And then we're like, Oh, I'm better now. I'm so up.

Querent: Yeah, now I do. I have been cautioned about this and I'm also like, maybe it's just like, you know, not normal to cry as much as I was crying.

Michelle Tea: And maybe it's good to cry, love. I don't know if there's any normal way to cry, but. But you're saying that, like, you're you're able to actually regulate your emotions better? Yeah, exactly. I understand. So what? I'm chuckling now. What would it look like for you to say they being meds? Okay, we'll see. I did try going off my meds last year and it was awful. It was very terrible. I don't remember it from my personal experience, but but you know, bodies are different now, but that's good to know. Yeah, maybe I'm just like, you know, listen, it does work. Well, yeah, you actually got really good cards for both of these things. Okay, you got all those good cards for for reducing your dose. You got the three of cups abundance, you got the ace of disks, which is, you know, kind of a new beginning, a new physical pass. And then you got the two of swords, peace of mind that I'm very I know. It's interesting. It's interesting. And now this is really very interesting for being off your meds. You got the wheel of fortune. Okay? Yeah. Okay, Emperor, which is very much a take charge. You know the thing. And then you got the queen of grind. And guess what? She is the biggest crybaby in the tarot, like in this in this illustration of her face. It's so obscured by, like, wetness. So you'll cry again. You know, this is it's really. Oh, wow. And then I just picked the Empress Card for you as well. Please, please, please do this under the supervision of your doctors or therapists, whoever, whoever is around in your life to help you. I would keep a journal, you know, I would. I would just do a lot so that you can really track how you feel. Because I found when I went off my meds is that it was very insidious. I didn't really enjoy it and necessarily that I was downwardly. Rolling until this one day when I was. I love my home very much. It has beautiful vibes. And one day I was walking through it and I was like, This house is creepy. Like, why is it so creepy? And then I was like, Oh, I'm creepy, creepy. My vibes are creepy. And then like, right now my house isn't creepy anymore. So just, you know, ask the folks around you to pay attention and they'll give you feedback.

Querent: So yeah, could I ask if we have time? Could you pull for like if I just kept going on. That is just to compare.

Michelle Tea: Yeah. So difficult to keep going on your meds. I mean, you know, you might even need to get off of them to see that you need to be, you know what I mean? And that is, you know, it's still possibly helpful, but so what if you just stay on them? It's really interesting to stay on them. You got the ten of swords, right? Which is rough. Mm.

Querent: I think that's my deck and as well I got that one a lot. I'm the Gemini.

Michelle Tea: Oh, okay. Okay, you got that. Then you got the seven of cups, which is like debauch, which is an interesting story about trying to, like, fix ourselves with things that aren't the right thing to fix ourselves with and then the sun. So it's a very odd reading. It's sort of like I mean, I think that you really are going it seems to me that you're and I just picked up this like three of disks. So it's like you're working something you're working something out right now where you're like, do I need these things? Clearly worked for me. Am I do I have to stay on them forever or not? And it's like, what are you going to do to answer that question? Are you going to try going to them? Are you going to just stay on them? It seems like maybe you're going to try messing around with it a little bit, but just, you know, it doesn't look bad for you to do that. You can just know that you can always get back on them, you know? I know everybody is hoping that journey works out for you here. Thank you. I see. I see you commented. Yeah. In the chat. See?

Querent: Okay. Yeah. Thank you so much.

Michelle Tea: Luck to you.

Querent: Thank you.

Michelle Tea: Okay, you guys. Am I a doctor? No. Am I even a therapist? I'm not. Am I even a life coach? I mean, maybe. But, you know, not technically. I don't have a certificate for anything. I just have a deck of tarot cards and a lot of opinions. So take everything I say with a grain of salt. And when it comes to your actual physical body, please talk to professional people who go to school for a million years to learn about the body. Okay. All right. Here is another question that came into my Instagram. Um, where does it start? I have a few major life changing questions. Okay, no big deal. A little background. I'm 24 years old, married, and we have a two and a half year old son. Q My whole life I've always wanted to move somewhere warmer as we live in Washington State. However, my whole family is here and we're super close. I'm afraid, though, if I don't follow my transplant dreams, I'll greatly regret it later. I'm also about to graduate with my degree in surgical technology. Q I'm nervous now that it might not be my dream profession because of the high stress, but I'm so passionate about it and just spent two years devoted. Is surgical technology the career for me? Should my husband and son move somewhere warmer? The areas I was thinking aren't Austin. San Diego, Las Vegas, Scottsdale. All right. Let's see. What does it look like for you to keep going with surgical technology? Is this what you want for yourself? I'm picking three cards, you know, and just so we can compare and contrast, is there a career out there? Maybe it's adjacent that, you know, gets you a little bit better. So doing that. Okay. Now, what does it look like if you move somewhere warmer? Okay. I understand that. I always want to be warm. I'm a cold person. Three cards for that. And then again to compare and contrast. Right. What does it look like for you to stay in Washington and be close to your family? Because that is also such a beautiful thing. Right. I'm going to do I pitch three cards for all of those as I do. But, you know, for your four areas, I'm going to just do one card. So right now, one card for Austin. You know, I'm really asking the tarot to like distill a whole life spent in a place down to one side. So. Austin Okay, San Diego, here is one card for San Diego. Does that look like and what else do you have here? Vegas. Okay. One card for Las Vegas. And then finally, one card for Scottsdale, Arizona. And I will pick that for you. All right. So let's see. Let's see about this surgical surgical tech career. Is it the one for you or you do love it? Oh, you're tempted away from it. You're very tempted away. Let me see what it looks like for you to leave it. Do, do, do, do, do. Oh, my goodness, it does. Look like there might be something that is a little bit better for you, that is less stressful. It is really that stress that you want to pay attention to. And the reason I'm saying this is the cards for for, you know, doing something else has the empress in it, right. And the Empress is like so loving. The Empress wants us to have like really good self-care and like be relaxed and happy and not stressed out. You know, the cards for, for staying in the surgical tech, the centerpiece of this, you know, three card pull is the double. So, you know, what I'm getting from that is like maybe you feeling when the double card comes up, we are often like not in control of our destiny. We feel like something else is pulling the strings. And so I'm seeing that this I'm reading this as meaning like you're going to feel so obligated to be doing surgical tech, you're going to feel like it's not really you like you're doing it for some other reason, but not because it's your passion. The devil could also just represent your constant temptation to, like, fail. Right. Are you going to be really good at it? Yes, I think so. You have the princess of wands. She's feeling fearless. She just jumps into, you know, whatever she's doing with total passion and openness. And you also have the princess of discourse. And she's grounded and and really articulate and really able to, like, grow things and make things happen. So you're good at it and you did the work. You know, the princess of just shows that you did the work to get the degree. But the devil is saying it's not for you at the end of it. Oh, I'm so sorry. I do like to think that, you know, there are no wrong paths. And even if the outcome is what we thought it would be, there's something about those two years for you studying that is very important and will be important to to you in some way. I really believe that. As far as you finding something different, the very first card that came up is the work card work. Three of disks, Mars and Capricorn. Yes. I mean, Capricorn loves to work. Mars in Capricorn really loves to work. So you need to be at something that really feeds you. The next card is the Queen of wands. Do you see how you've sort of graduated from princess to queen with this, you know, option? The queen of wands is just super solid. She feels good. She's really been through it. And, you know, in a sense, you've been through it. You've just been through two years of school, right. For something that you don't necessarily want to do. But instead of being embarrassed about that, you're going to sort of own it and just be like, that's life, right? Like sometimes we change our minds and it's okay. The Empress at the end of this poll really wants you to be it. Spending your time doing work that really feeds you and that does not bring you stress, that is not sustainable. Now, what does it look like for you to move to the warmth? Oh, man, listen, it looks really bad. You got all bad cards for moving. I'm sorry to tell you, I really wanted you to move to the warmth just because I want to always. I say from southern California, five of swords defeat, five of wands strife, ten of swords ruin. I mean, these are some of the worst cards in the, you know, in the minor arcana. And it's just like it's not right. I mean, I think we're getting a really strong no from the tarot staying where you are, at least for now. I can see that you can't. Oh, my gosh. You know, for staying in Washington, the very first card you have is victory six of was beautiful it's like, yes, this works for you. You know, there's something about it that really works for you. But then right next to it, Prince of Cups and then the Nine of Swords Cruelty. So my read on that is that, you know, I'm telling you to stay and watch in Washington because that's what the cards are saying. And while it is good for you, you are not going to be able to let go of the pull to live in another place. You're just not going to be able to let go of it. So I don't know what to say about that. Your your inability to let go of this dream doesn't make the dream any more, you know, appropriate or, you know, possible. But it just to me is showing that like, yeah, there's a way you can figure out to make some peace with it, just in case you're never going to make peace and you're still going to keep dreaming. Let me see what these cards are. Austin. No. Eight of swords interference for Austin, Texas. Don't go there. San Diego, Princess of Cups. Okay, that's nicer. It'll welcome you. It's. That's very sweet existence there. Las Vegas. Oh, my God. Six of cups for Las Vegas pleasure. Don't have too much pleasure in Vegas. That could be very bad. And then Scottsdale, seven of cups now to watch what is in Scottsdale. Who knows? Okay. So there you go. You asked the tarot, the tarot delivered. This is like you guys sometimes it's just a night of me giving people advice that like I don't want to give. You know, that happens all the time. As an opinionated tarot reader, I'm like, Listen, don't. Go off your meds. And then I was like, go off your meds. And I'm like, Oh, shit. So that's what's happening here. I'm like, you know, move away. But it's like, No, don't move away. Even though you're totally going to be tortured by how badly you want to move away. Sometimes that's just some people story. You know, there's just a little bit of discontent that's part part of the persona, part of the personality. But yeah, somebody just said, maybe it's just not the right time. That's completely true. Beta. Somebody in the in the chat is saying maybe it's just not the right time. Would that be possible? 100%. Tarot is always about timing. So yeah, I think that ask again later when you are at your wits end once more.

Michelle Tea: Okay. Again, for those who kind of joined Midway, you're listening to ask the tarot live tarot every Thursday here on Spotify Live 6 p.m. West Coast, 9 p.m. East Coast. If you want to ask a question, raise your hand or shoot me a DM on Instagram @michelleteaz, T-E-A-Z. What else did I want to say? Oh, if you want to listen to back episodes just on Spotify, search for your magic. That is my podcast. And that's also where all the back episodes of Ask the Tarot live. Okay. Oh, Christina, it's your first visit. Welcome. I hope that you have a great time listening to us talk about all of our problems. My problems, your problems. I'm still looking for Austin. It looks like Austin's just gone right now, so that's okay. Let me see. Monica, you are up. Can I help you?

Querent: Can you hear me?

Michelle Tea: Yes. There you are. How can I help you?

Querent: Oh, I have so much anxiety right now. I had a feeling you were going to call me because a lot of your previous readings resonate with, like, what's going on in my life. So book writing meetings and all that.

Michelle Tea: Okay, okay. It's okay. You get emotional, but I understand. Like, you're like, no, thanks. I don't want to be like vulnerable on Spotify live.

Querent: Yeah, right. Exactly. Oh, jeez. So I'm currently in school and I'm not doing so well and. Okay. All right. See, it looks okay turning 30 in July. So, you know, it's kind of like I'm getting to that point in my life where I'm like. I needed to figure this out. So when I got into school I was kind of excited, but it was just more of like, you know, I need to do something with my life. So kind of back to I'm I was diagnosed with ADHD, took myself off. And I've just been struggling with school for the most part. But I guess my question is, is, am I just not doing like in school, just not for me or all of it? Or is there something else that I should be doing?

Michelle Tea: Okay. So okay. I want to ask you, you said you got diagnosed with ADHD and you said you took yourself off. Did I catch that correct?

Querent: Yes. Yes. But this was like like ten, ten years ago.

Michelle Tea: Okay. You put yourself out of school at that point. Is that what you were saying?

Querent: No, no, no. I said I've been in school, but I've been like little bit at a time and I kind of I just started university this year. So I guess this is like, you know, going from, like, community college to wanting to get an actual degree. I feel okay. It kind of was overwhelming. So I had been going slow, but even going slow, I'm struggling.

Michelle Tea: Oh, you're getting so much love from the chat right now. Like, if you can't look at it now, look at it after. Like, it's, you know, it's it's so hard, you know, college. I didn't go to college myself. I think it is very intimidating and even just trying to get in is so intimidating. Then once you are in, it's really challenging for a lot of people and it doesn't really make a lot of allowances for people who learn differently. Right. And you have different challenges around learning. It's such a particular system and structure that expects everyone to be able to excel in the same way and like, why would that be possible? So yeah, I'm just I'm feeling you like everybody else here. So let me see, what does it look like for you to keep going? You know, have you talked to your instructors and let them know that you have ADHD and that like that might be compromising your ability to really excel, you know, in their in their classes?

Querent: No. And like with your previous readings, I was like, it's almost like, should I go back to a doctor? I haven't spoke to my professor because I kind of just, you know, I thought I was figuring it out. You know, I prefer alternative medicine. Like that's what I'm going to school for. And so, so for me all, like it almost feels like me turning on alternative medicine if I'm not if I go back to my pharmaceuticals. But it's really not that I think I should apply.

Michelle Tea: It is not Monica. It's not. Oh, my goodness. No, no, no, no. It's just different compounds work for different things. Right? I mean, you know, it's wonderful when some things can be treated with natural medicine and surely there are more things that can be done, you know, than what we historically have known right in the West and, you know, white, western, whatever. But no, like there are some things that you really need medicine for, you know, like good old fashioned medicine. And that doesn't mean that you're still not interested in the things that you're interested in, doesn't mean that you're still wouldn't be a wonderful, like, purveyor of natural medicine. It just means like, it just isn't the right medicine for what ails you. But right now, I'm shuffling on, okay, what does it look like for you to leave school for now and now, because we are talking about it, I'm going to shuffle. What does it look like for you to go back to your doctor and see? You know, it would be helpful for you to get some kind of different plan in place for dealing with your ADHD. When you when you had treated it before, did that did it help?

Querent: You know, because I was in high school, I was a teenager. So, like, I feel like I was just emotionally going through a lot of things. And I feel I mean, yeah, my focus was better, I'm sure, but I was going through a lot. So I don't I want to say yes, it did.

Michelle Tea: Yeah. Okay. It's so hard to pick things apart when you're a teenager, too, because there's so much going on. But listen, I flipped your cards and I feel like we have a lot of information here. It looks like school for now. Looks like the stress of it is outweighing the benefits of it. Okay. The first thing that comes up is the seven of cups. It's a card called debauch. And it's like, you know, in the in the tarot, the number seven is the number of emotions. Okay. And then the cups are emotions. So the seven of cups, it's like emotions are out of control. And there's often when this card comes up, there's things there's things that you're doing to try to, like, care for the emotions. But they're the wrong things. They're not helping. So it looks like there's a problem with like a real emotional unbalance and no real clear way to care for that right now. Okay. And that's affecting school. The next card, it's another seven. So it's another real emotional card. It's seven of swords. And this is called futility. And, you know, this is really interesting. This card is it's the astrology of this card is moon in Aquarius. So Aquarius is very detached. Right. So it has this very detached vision. And it's like, I'm going to do this thing because this looks great, right? This looks great. Like I'm all about this, right? Isn't this what I want to be all about? I'm going to do it. But it's not taking into account. Like, how will that feel? You know what I mean? Like, what? Is that sustainable? But what about this? It's just so sort of blinded by the ideal of it that it loses sight of, like, what you actually need. So I'm thinking that that's sort of sort of what school is right now. Like, maybe, you know, you're like, I need something right now. School looks good. School seems like a good thing to need, right? That's what people do when they're almost 30. They go to school, but it's not really taking into account what's up for you? What do you really need? You know, it might not be what the culture tells you you need. You know, it often isn't. And then your last card for school is the Prince of Swords. And he is this guy. He's in his chariot. And his chariot is not moving. It's being pulled by these little fairies that just are not up to the task. Okay. And he is recognizing this. He's like, this isn't working. And I think this is a little bit of you right now looking at school and being like, I don't think this is working. And, you know, the thing about the Prince of Swords in this moment, in this card, he doesn't know what would work better. He doesn't have the answer. He just knows this isn't working. So he's going to cut the reins and he's going to take it from there. So, you know, to me, this looks like you're coming to a conclusion of like, you know, school is not working. You gave it a try. You know, you clearly feel like you're looking for something to help you out, to make you feel better. I really want to tell you, like, the idea that, like, we're all supposed to be have our shit all together by any particular age, and that what that looks like, you know, Oh, my shit's together. I have a college degree, and I make this much money and I've got these material things. But, you know, we know that that is not real. I mean, it's still hard not to apply it to ourselves and hold ourselves to these dumb standards. But we know this isn't real. And, you know, all that all that really matters is that we're kind to each other and especially to ourselves. Like that's all that matters. And then everything else, you know, you figure out how to pay the rent and all that other stuff.

Querent: Oh, yeah. I have to say, I'm a I'm a Capricorn woman and shit.

Michelle Tea: I take it all back.

Querent: Yeah. So it's like it's I'm really hard on myself.

Michelle Tea: So it is, it is very real. Monica That's very real. What is your son in?

Querent: Cancer. Oh, gosh. Poor thing. Okay, that's hard. You do need a purpose. No, you do. You need a purpose. You need to feel like you are climbing a mountain. You need to know that you're on route up to the top of the mountain. That's real. But listen, there is something else for you out there, okay? And I really want you to think about what that might be, because I think it's something that you are you're already somehow involved in. The first card you have for getting out of school and doing something different is the four of wands. And this is a card that's called completion in this deck. And what it means is that there's already a foundation built for it. Right? It's not the real completion. It's not the very end. Like you don't you haven't graduated or opened up your business or whatever. But it means that something some sort of groundwork has been laid either through research or passion or I don't know what, but it looks like, you know, I want you to think about, okay, if you don't go to school right now and you do want to be passionately pursuing something, you know what? What else could you do? You said that you're a creative person. That might be what that foundation is. Just knowing that you are a creative person and like, what does that mean to you? What are the kind of areas that you've wanted to explore or that you've enjoyed exploring? Like that might be the direction? Oh, I want to point out that Christina in the chat is just put the link to Coursera dot org, which is like a cool alternative to, you know, I guess going, going to regular school after the completion card, you have the input. Okay. And again, the Empress does not want you to be stressed out. She wants you to take care of yourself. She is the cosmic mommy. She is like the mommy that none of us have ever had. Even if we happen to have good moms, which not everybody has had, she is just like the best. She just wants to pat your head and give you life and wants to, like, empower you to go after the things that make you feel generous, have been wonderful. And then you have the prince of discourse, which is really interesting. She is like slow but steady. Okay? He always gets where he's going. He's Taurus. So this is about work like I'm getting from this a really strong vibe that like there is an alternative, alternative like occupation out there for you. I think you might have a glimpse of what it is. It might take you a minute to really get it together, but just do it like step by step. Just keep doing the next right thing. Do you have any I. Ideas of what it might be.

Querent: Well, yeah. So as you're saying that I was thinking about it. My boyfriend and I just photos properties. So I've been doing like some interior designs or properties, so I love that, but I also make jewelry. So I felt like that was that was one thing that I would that people really, really loved. But I was always really embarrassed to, like, make a business of it.

Michelle Tea: Uh huh.

Querent: So and those are the things that when I think about it, it kind of sparks joy in me.

Michelle Tea: Does it seem like school or like like, oh, I got to do this?

Querent: So I have been thinking about that since the school thing. Has it really been working out for me?

Michelle Tea: You know, I'm going to like quote Eric right now in the chat. Don't be embarrassed to follow your joy. Yes, Erin, don't be. And don't. There's nothing embarrassing about wanting to make jewelry. That's so wonderful, because I love jewelry. What a fantastic way to be able to express yourself. Like by making it and wearing it. Yes, you should do that in interior design. I love this. I love that. You know, you do have an idea of of you know what? You're not starting from zero. You have lots of interests and things to pursue. Now, as far as, you know, looking at going back on to your meds, you know, I do think you should talk to a doctor, obviously. So I'm saying that all night. But it does look like the very first card here is the hermit. And that's really interesting. Like the hermit is really about he's he is in a big way about self-care, right? He he's like a wise man, right? Who's like holing up to kind of be like, who am I and what do I really need right away from all of the influences like of, you know what I think I'm supposed to need what other people think I need, what do I really need? So I think I really need to be thinking about this. Obviously you already are, but I don't know, maybe even next level. Think about it. Like make a broken list or maybe just make a doctor's appointment. The Queen of Swords is your next card. And again, she is taking a step back and looking at the situation and being like, This shit's not working. This has to go. This has to go, this has to go. Don't be afraid to make some changes. And then the last part is the night of cuts and he's all about love. So just remember that like anything that you're doing for yourself, whether you decide to try meds again or you decide to try something else, it's all about like self-love, right? You're just doing these things out of love for yourself. It's okay to take a pill out of love for yourself because it helps you. You know, there's nothing wrong with it. So, you know, I really feel like you're guiding, like, northstar tarot card right now is the Empress. If you have a tarot jack of your own, I really think you should, like, pull that card out, keep it somewhere where you can see it. And just remember that there is this, like, beautiful, loving force in the world that wants you to love yourself and to take care of yourself and, you know, and not care what anybody else thinks. Not care what? Like, you know, what the natural people think about, you know, your Adderall. Not to think about what your parents think about you not being in school, not to think about what your friends think about you deciding you're a jewelry designer. Does it matter what any of these people think? It's only matters what makes you feel your best.

Querent: Thank you that just resonate so much? Because I had a dream about like my parents being upset about it and I really appreciate this whole reading. It was like, resonated more than I ever thought.

Michelle Tea: Monica, I have got to start crying, talking to you. I'm totally getting. Feels like I really, really wish you the best. I know you're going to be okay.

Querent: Thank you. Want to I really appreciate it.

Michelle Tea: The welcome read the chat. You got so much love in there. Make sure you peek at it all. Do a screenshot, okay?

Querent:I will. I will. Thanks, you guys.

Michelle Tea: Oh, my God. I love Monica and I love all of you guys. How are you? All so beautiful and compassionate and wise and funny. You are like the greatest. This is the greatest. All right, I'm going to shake this off. I'm really serious. I do have PMS, and I'm just like a weirdo tonight. Okay, so let me see. This just came in and it is. I just turned 30. Oh, my God. What is. This is like everyone's turning 30 and having, like, a meltdown. I I'm 51, you guys. And I'm just here to tell you that you have all you 30 year olds, you all have time to have, like, five other lives between where you are and where I am. Okay. So just, you know that, okay, I just turned 30 and I've been working as a caregiver for 11 years. I'm feeling burnt out. But caregiving is all I know, and I'm afraid it's all I'm good at for a career. My boss wants to make me the manager of the adult home care I'm working in now, but the thought gives me major anxiety. There are other positive changes happening in my life right now. I get exhausted, even thinking about caregiving. Should I stay and become a manager in hopes that the different position would change how I feel? Or should I take a leap and quit altogether and find something new? Thank you so much. Okay, listen, allow the person who did this is. Oh, my goodness. Wait, is the person I'm thinking the person who said this and might be in the chat. I'm not sure, though. Okay. Anyway, I'm just going to go forward and say some questions seem not so much like the person needs advice, but more like they need permission. Don't you think this to me really feels like this? Clarence just wants permission to quit caretaking and find something new. And I just want to say that. Michelle tea. Not the tarot. Michelle T is giving you permission to quit altogether and find something new. Okay. As I like to say, jobs are for quitting. Oh, my God. You guys, you all have to listen to the your magic episode that's dropping this Monday, because there is a spell in the episode about how to quit your job. It's a quitting your job spell. It's this Monday. Please check it out. But but listen, Clarence, I understand that you want to see what the tarot has to say, so I'm shuffling for you. Okay, so what does it look like if you stay and become a manager in an occupation that you've been very clear you hate? But it's true. Maybe the different position will change how you feel. I appreciate your your openness, your optimism, or should you take a leap, quit altogether and find something new? Let's see what that looks like. Oh, I see. Christina, love the spells on the podcast. Thank you. We love finding them for you guys. Okay, flip and cards. I guess what? The tarot is totally cosigning. Michelle t's advice. Okay. Yeah, of course. You should quit this job. Aquarius, this is not good for you, and it looks really awesome for you to leave the way that it is generally pretty awesome for people to leave things that they hate. Right? Okay, cool. So here are the cards for staying at this job. The first one is that for once again, completion, right? It's Venus and Aries. And so, you know, it's like you've built a foundation there. It's a 4/4 hour foundation. So this is you saying like, well, I have built a foundation here. Let me see. Let me be open. Venus wants to, you know, be kind of pleasing. Let me see if I can do it. The next card, prince of cups. Here you are doing it. And you're just like, Why am I doing it? Why am I doing it? The problem with the Prince of Cups is that he is totally unhappy. But he's not. He's not taking a chance. He's not making a change because he's scared. He feels like the stakes are really high. So, you know, to some extent they are in our lives. Right. But also, like, I don't know, we can be daring. We can we can be daring in our lives. And so the last card is the change card, two of disks, Jupiter in Capricorn. Do you I think that that's you changing your attitude towards this job, maybe a little, you know, there might be a little bit of truth that might be a little bit easier for you managing. But I actually think that the change is you getting out of there. I think either way you're going to get out of there. This is not for you. Now, if you just kind of own that right now and jump ship as we speak, you get the Wheel of Fortune. I love the Wheel of Fortune and I love it in the top deck. It's so beautiful. It looks like very amethyst and like golden stars and it's just gorgeous. And it's like it's really funny because, you know, the change card that you got for staying is sort of like the piddly version of the Wheel of Fortune that you got for leaving. So, you know, I think it is it is good for you to you know, it's it would be better for you to manage them, continue the way you are. But it would be really great to get the hell out of there. And then what's the next card that you have? Love. Two of cups. Beautiful. Moving towards something you love. I mean, you guys, we live in this horrible capitalism and we all spend a lot of time working. You've got to do everything you can to try to get it to be something that you enjoy. And I know it's hard. I know that is really hard. And here's the reality. Your next card is the hanged man. It might take you a minute to find something that suits you better. You know the hanged man when he comes up, he's not a bad card, but he's a little bit of a limbo card, right? He is like putting himself in an uncomfortable situation because he knows and trusts. He trusts he has faith. Then on the other side is enlightenment, right? So, you know, there might be something uncomfortable about leaving the job. Maybe, you know, there's a part of you, it's clear, that thinks that you can only do caregiving. So maybe. Challenging. That feels really scary. But you're going to you're going to do it because you're going to have faith that that's not true. Right. There's no way that that the only thing that you can do is something you hate. Like we don't believe in a world like that. Right? We don't believe in a life like that. So. So whatever it is, if you find yourself struggling a little bit, just, you know, keep the faith and know that, you know, on the other side. I just picked the work card for you, as I'm saying this. On the other side is work that is more meaningful for you.

Michelle Tea: Okay. So if you guys. This has been intense, huh? Or is it just my PMS? I can't tell. No, I think it's been intense and. Oh, somebody just said Jeff said, my partner said, if you can be a caregiver, you can do anything. And I agree. Oh, my God, Jeff, I love that. That is really, really true. And I do want to just say this. I don't know in any way if this is the question who we are talking about. I don't know if it's her story or not, but I do know that a lot of people who end up in caregiving occupations are people who have come from families of origin where they were expected to do a lot of caretaking. And and often there's a lot of like unexamined sort of trauma that's attached to that. So I don't know if that resonates with you. Unpack it. And if you're like, Go to hell, I will, I'll go to hell. Just ignore it. Ignore it. But, you know, that's just something that's something about about caretaking work. Phew. Well, you guys, I hope that, you know, as the sun rolls out of Aries and into Taurus, that we can all, like, take a collective nap, right? Eat some collective snacks, sit on a big collective pillow, and, like, watch some trashy TV. You know, metaphorically or literally. I hope you all have a really gentle week, and I'll see you back here next Thursday. Okay. And that will be at 6:00 West Coast, 9:00 East Coast. Please go look at your magic your magic beat on Spotify. Listen to our podcast. Listen to back episodes of Ask the Tarot. They're all really fun. And again, you guys tell your friends there's a lot of scammers on Instagram. If I suddenly follow you and then I'm talking to you, it's probably not me, I'm sorry to say. And I just. I hate people getting scammed. It hurts my heart. So tell your friends. Be smart and have a great night. I love you guys. Okay, bye.

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Michelle Tea: Hi, friends. Remember to catch. Ask the tarot live right here on Spotify every Thursday at 9 p.m. Eastern. You can join me for a journey through the cycles of life, love, aspiration, all in real time. Want me to do a reading for you? Just download the Spotify Live app for free today. It's available in the App Store and you can join me. Every week I go live, you'll be able to meet really unique people, chat with other listeners, and even ask questions of your own. Remember, you can always listen to ask the Tarot live on Spotify every Thursday at 9 p.m. Eastern. Want to be part of the conversation? Download the Spotify Live app for free today and make sure to follow the Ask the Tarot show page to be notified every time we go live.

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