Ask the Tarot: Did I Make the Right Decision When I Left My Racist Stalker Ex?

This is a recording of our Spotify Live show from March 3, 2022. Tune in on Spotify every Thursday at 6 PM PT/9 PM ET to catch Michelle Tea’s tarot readings. Or listen on the Spotify Live app where you can join the chat — you’ll even have a chance to ask the tarot what’s on your mind.

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Michelle Tea: Hey, everyone, thank you so much for tuning in, but did you know that you can join Ask the Tarot Live every Thursday at 9:00 p.m. Eastern on Spotify Green Room? That's right, live. All you have to do is download the Spotify Green Room app and sign up for free or use your Spotify login to join. You can also click on the link in our series or episode descriptions, then follow Ask the Tarot and tune in every Thursday at nine pm to hear what the deck has to say. Hey, I will even read your questions live. Why miss out on that? Download Spotify Green Room for free today and join Ask the Tarot Live every Thursday.

Michelle Tea: Hey everybody! Hello, it is Michelle! Michelle Tea as a matter of fact, others monitoring a host of your magic podcast on Spotify. And welcome to the Ask the Tarot Room. I see that there is a lot of familiar faces. Hi, Kristen. I also see there's like new faces. I think so. I'm super excited. This is a live tarot show. If you have a question for the tarot. Just raise your hand. I won't get to all of you, but I'll get to as many of you as I possibly can. Another way that you can ask questions is you can send me a direct message on Instagram. You can find me on Instagram @michelleteaz T-E-A-Z and send me your question there. But I got to tell you, if you follow me on Instagram and I really hope you do. You may get followed back, not by me, but by a fake me. There are scammers that are targeting people who do tarot on Instagram, and they'll reach out to you and they'll use really bizarre language like, Hello, my beloved. The spirit has told me, You want it to give you a reading? That's not me. I don't talk like that. I never ask somebody if they want to reading, you know, I let folks come to me if that's what they want. So be aware. Screw the scammers, Jasmine. I agree with you 100 percent. So, yeah, so raise your hand here. Send me an Instagram. Don't fall for the scammers. Report them if they reach out to you. They've reached out to my fiancee, my cousins. It's wild, it's really wild. We're going to do an episode about it on your magic. So that will be really fun. A way to make fun out of something that's, believe me, really not fun. All right, Kristin, I'm calling on you. Unmute yourself and tell me how the tarot can help you this evening.

Querent: Hi. Oh my gosh.

Michelle Tea: Oh my god. Wait, is my my volume sound like it always is? Hello.

Querent: Oh, can you hear me?

Michelle Tea: Yes, I hear you. Great.

Querent: OK, so I just had a quick question. I'm wondering if my love interest? Well, no. Come forward emotionally, OK?

Michelle Tea: All right. What I will do is I'm going to pick, I'm going to do. I'm going to shuffle and pull cards on. What does the energy look like between you guys? How's that? Yes. Is that all right? What?

Querent: Yeah, that sounds great.

Michelle Tea: OK, cool. Cool. And then we'll see. You know, if there's like open cards, you know, emotionally present or vulnerable cards that we'll see if they're sort of like scary mental parts. So this is somebody that you want to come towards you or is it somebody you're already seeing and you just want them to be more open?

Querent: I guess I've been seeing him off and on for a while. His name is Austin, and I guess I do want a committed relationship, but like, there's no rush at all.

Michelle Tea: OK. So we'll look at the long term. Like, maybe if it's a slow road, that's OK. But like, what is the ultimate energy? This is an OK. See is my last little shuffle and I'll pick three cards. I mean, he's in the top deck like I always do. Oh man, this is like a very interesting reading. Are you an Aquarius? Are Pisces by any chance?

Querent: I'm a Pisces, Oh my God. March 15.

Michelle Tea: Happy birthday, first of all. Listen, it seems like OK, I don't want to be victim blaming here at all. But you got the devil smack in the middle of this reading. OK. And then on either side is Happiness and the star. So it's like, I don't like, is there some part of you that's liking the chase or something like that? I wonder? Or like, do you like, do like sort of Arnovitz? Like, I don't know. Like, it's just that.

Querent: Yeah...

Michelle Tea: OK, yeah. Okay, I need you.

Querent: Yes, I like I say, I like having the option to talk to other people at the same time. I do want a committed relationship. I'm awful.

Michelle Tea: Like, No, I mean it. This looks very interesting. I mean, it looks like there is something here for you with this person that looks really inspiring. And just frankly like this person makes you happy. You know, I mean, the happiness card is Jupiter in Pisces. So you know, my guess would be, you know, since you are a Pisces, that this is a person that like that you feel very much yourself around or brings out some sort of core core sort of element of your personality or almost like your essence with the star card, it looks like you are pinning like a big hope on this person. And but it looks a little tricky, though, with the double card obviously right. It's like when the double card comes up. Usually there are patterns or habits that aren't necessarily super healthy and that are getting in the way of stuff, but there's often also something alluring about it. There's something maybe like attractive about it. So, you know, if–

Querent: Oh, I'm yeah, that's spot on. That's a lot. I'm very emotional. And then I'll like, pull back. I hate that about myself.

Michelle Tea: Well, I mean, you know, it's it's this isn't. I mean, I want you to keep an eye on the devil, you know? And like, just keep an eye out for patterns and habits that are working against what you really want for yourself, right? So whether those patterns and habits are coming from you or whether they're coming from this person? But you know, the flip side of the devil is he's also like super sexy and like keeps us kind of hooked in a way that, like, you know, sometimes the devil is just like love and lust an attraction, you know? But it does. You know, there's more than just that in this reading. If if you got the devil in the center and then on either side were some rough cards, I would be like, Oh my God, get, you know, run, this is no good for you. But on the start with the star and happiness, there's more, you know, there's more than meets the eye, for sure. So, you know, I guess, you know, if you're I would stick with it, I would stick with it. I keep picking the car, cutting the deck again, and I keep getting this Capricorn card works. It's Mars in Capricorn. It's the three of desk. So you know, this might be a relationship that takes you both doing a little work to get it to the place that you both want. Make sure you're not the one doing all the work, you know, like to try to like, spiffy it all up to be what you're hoping for. Like, he has to do the work. He has to also want it and invest in it in that way. But it looks like, you know, like, keep pushing towards it. It doesn't. It looks like in the meantime, there's something about this connection that's really feeding you.

Querent: He makes me happy.

Michelle Tea: I mean, we're all right. Well, I'm glad it's it's it's a devilishly good reading.

Querent: Thank you so much.

Michelle Tea: OK, Christine, good luck. I owe that debit card. What to make of it? You know, I always go back and forth. I feel like the devil's always kept me on my toes because if I'm like, You can't demonize the devil, it's been done. Am I right? You know, you have to know that the devil is, like, very complicated and represents really, you know, amazing parts of our humanity, right? But then whenever I get to like I've had times where I get to like, I love the devil. The Devil is like my favorite card, and then I'll have some like wild, you know, romance that leaves me totally burned. And I'm like, Oh, that was the devil card. Damn it right, Melissa. It's temptation. In the chat, Melissa just said absolutely. And temptation. Sometimes it's a really fun, you know, and sometimes it's not. So, you know, it's always the devil is a real relative card, I think, but I liked it between between happiness and the star, right? All right. We have a familiar face who sent me in through the sent me a into my Instagram and it says Background. I am a sophomore in college. And while I really love learning and getting an education, virtual learning has literally made me hate it. Oh my god, you are singing a real song right now that there are many are singing along with you. Although I'm taking subjects that I would otherwise really love, I find myself unmotivated to study or learn the concepts. The class I most enjoy is in person, and I am actually learning stuff. Question I am wondering if universities slash college education is something is something I should put on hold right now. Should I focus this time on my professional life instead? Should I stay on this already moving train to my bachelor's degree? All right.

All right. Let's look at this. So what does it look like for you to put it on hold, OK? And you know, to, you know, to focus on your professional life. I don't know how to go, you know, hop trains, whatever you want. OK, let's see. What does it look like for you to say no more Zoom? I've had enough, had enough looking at myself in a tiny box. OK, I'm going to do my little shuffle and I'm going to pick three cards for you. And then, you know, OK, it's super imperfect, right? Everybody hates it. Teachers hate it. Students hate it. But, but here you are. This is your place and time, and this is what it looks like to be, you know, a sophomore in college today. So what does it look like for you to stay on the moving train? Get your bachelor's degree. You now figure out a way to manage your hate of it, and I get it. No one in the world is going to argue with you about that. But what does it look like to stay committed, especially since you do have an in-person class? And maybe, you know, maybe you'll have a little more before you know it? I don't know. I'm an optimist. Hasn't always served me well, but I stick by it. All right. Leaving school of thought right? Straight off. Oh no. Oh no, friend, do not leave school. My friends do not look like to stay in school. Oh yeah. Don't be a fool. Stay in school. It's your path, OK? It's a it's a bit of a rocky path for sure. It's a path. It is literally asking you to commit to it. So let me break this down via the tarot for leaving school. The very first card you have is the tower. OK. And like I know, the tower can be really rad. You know, the tower, you know, brought me the husband that I'm going to marry the Saturday. You guys am getting married on Saturday. Can you believe it? But I wouldn't have ever found him if the tower hadn't come into my house and, you know, broken everything apart to make room so it can be good. But you know, we want some information from the tower, from the tarot that gave us the tower. And then it's giving us 10 of wants oppression, and then it's giving us seven of disk failure. Oh my god. Thanks for the congratulations. I'm really going to try and make this episode not be all about my wedding. OK? I'll do that next week after the wedding. OK, so listen, I say this is like, you're leaving. You know, boom, the tower. You're tearing down the structure. You're like, I'm done. I can't. I hate it now. But then with the oppression card and then the failure card, it's like, Well, what are you going to do? What are you going to do? I mean, I know you're going to focus on your, you know, professional life, OK? And you've got big dreams. Yeah, I'm seeing it all. I'm pulling cards on it. Yeah. Your professional life is waiting for you, either, you know, immediately or after you get your bachelors, you definitely are going to have a bomb ass career. I just saw, but this looks bad, OK? This, to me is just like, Oh, shoot. Why did I do that? I shouldn't have done that. And then, you know, the failure card is like, not enough is happening. Not enough is going on to make it feel like I don't know what worthwhile for you that you did that. Now if you do stay OK, somebody said, I smell the lovers card and you are correct. You a little tarot geniuses. The very first card is the lovers. It's like. Mine, because I think we've I think that we've picked questions. I'm sorry, pick cards for you about this exact thing before we just fine. I mean, hello, to have a terror attack is to abuse a general jack and ask questions on the same placards on the same question again and again. But it's interesting that you have asked this before and you're getting the lovers card and it's saying, Hey, just be with me or don't be with me, you know, like, you know, really like, make this commitment or not. It's it's wants you to make the commitment and then your next card is the chariot. OK, love it. You're like, All right, all right. I'm in. I'm in it to win it. I got my armor on. I got my ring light. I'm like, What's the, you know, Zoom gearing up for a Zoom battle equivalent of the chariot? You know, it's the chariot of war. It's rocky. It's not, you know, it's not a promenade. When you get the chariot, you got to fight a little bit. You got to hustle a little bit. You're probably fighting yourself in this situation, right? You're fighting your own resistance, your own knowledge that, you know, schools shouldn't be like this and it should have been better for you. And so that's that is a really hard. But your outcome card is the queen of desks, OK? And for somebody like yourself who is, you know, you want the you want a career, you want, you know, you have professional ambitions that queen of desks like she's got it, like she's climbed to the top. She is like a bomb ass Capricorn. She's sitting on a pineapple. She's got a pet goat. You know, she's you know how the is they want to. They want to ascend. They want to climb. She's done it, you know, and that's the rare Capricorn that can actually sit back and say, All right, I've done it, you know, so it really is speaking to the beauty and the fruits of love of labor only a few more months, Jasmine says. That's right. Only a few more months don't don't leave now. Don't leave now. You're so close to being out and then you're going to jump on this career. And I got to tell you, when I was asking about your career, I saw the victory card. I saw the icon. You know, you got good cards there for your career. So just finish it. Is this part. Yes, a rare Capricorn that actually starts climbing the mountain. Absolutely.

OK, let's see who is in the room, who I can help here. Risi, you are up. How can I help you unmute yourself? And it might take him? OK, cool. Cool.

Querent: Okay, awesome. Can you hear me?

Michelle Tea: Yes, I can. How can I help you?

Querent: OK, so I have a question kind of like the first one. It's about a love interest.

Michelle Tea: OK?

Querent: We are mostly platonic, but like we started out not platonic, and then we decided we wanted to solidify our friendship before we really like ever delved into those other feelings that we had for each other. And since then, it's just been kind of vital. So I kind of wanted to get a feel for like if they'll feel the same way, possibly about me or OK or like flirtation is like empty and it's just playful and not really serious, you know what I mean?

Michelle Tea: Yeah. Here's what I'm going to ask the cards I'm going to say. Like, what is it? So right now, you know you're you're operating under this sort of, you know, agreement like, OK, we you know, we have energy for each other, but we are just going to we're going to be in the friend zone for a minute and see what happens, right? Right. So you're sort of kind of like waiting for something more to manifest. So I'm going to ask the tarot, what does it look like for you to keep doing this, you know, to trust that it's moving, you know, in a more, you know, solidified romantic direction to trust that the person you know wants what you want. And yeah, what does it look like for you to kind of put your romantic energy into this person, even though it's a little bit on the DL right now, the way you're doing it, the fact that you're holding it in your heart. So let's see, what does that look like for you? Wow. Yeah. I mean, this is love. OK. That the love card smack in the middle and on either side. Big fire cards. The Emperor, which is air is right. And then on the other side, ace of wands. So I mean, this is very it's interesting that the emperor came up because you guys are doing this in a very structured way, right? You kind of made some it sounds like you've made, you know, you've made some boundaries, you know, you've kind of like carved out a very specific way to go about this. And I feel like that is kind of the emperor and a little bit in a way. But, you know, I feel like the emperor is also like a very positive card. It's in especially. There's been so many, you know, with with this new renaissance of tarot that we're all enjoying. There's been so many redefinition of the emperor as a sort of like not a toxic masculine, but like a divine masculine. And so in that way, you know, this card represents just like that kind of like externalized fiery energy. It's passionate. It's like being a leader. Maybe you need to make make a move. Do you need to make a move? Oh my God, I just asked, Is it time for you to be like, Hey, what about that friendship? Is it? Did we do it? You know what, if you are the the emperor and kind of take the lead? And I saw I pulled the chariot card. So oh, and then the star card, I think that, you know, you might be. Can I ask what your signs are?

Querent: Yeah, I'm I'm a Virgo and I have a Scorpio moon in an Aries rising.

Michelle Tea: All right.

Querent: And they are a Capricorn with a Virgo moon and a Pisces rising, I believe.

Michelle Tea: Oh wow. So yeah, you you're you're like, you're the fiery one. It might be. It might be on you to kind of make that first move and say, like, Hey, like friends are cool, but I feel more for you. You know, you want to jump into this. It's never going to, you know, the waters are never fully safe. You know, you can't really wait. You just got to jump in with romance, I think. But you know, Virgo, Pisces, Capricorn, that's a lot of like sort of heavier energy that could become a little immobilized. You know, I think like in the realm of relationships between Pisces being kind of passive and Capricorn and Virgo both sort of being strategic and possibly a bit controlling. I say with love, I say with love. But you know, this ace of wands shows that there is like a fresh path for you guys, right? There's a really fresh path. It's fiery. It's exciting. I mean, you know, that's the sexy energy is the fire. So that's what you want to take it to. It looks like the love has somewhat been established a little bit. It's Venus and cancer. So, you know, cancer does want to be really safe. And so it looks like, you know, that's been, you know, as established as it can be. But before, you know, putting everything at risk by making it romantic, and that's just that's just how it goes, you know? So I really I hope that it looks to me from this. It like this person can sort of like rise to the occasion and like face whatever fears you know that they might be feeling, but you might have to be the one sort of like starting the conversation.

Querent: OK. Awesome. Yeah, that really makes sense. Thank you.

Michelle Tea: Yeah, I look good. I mean, you're not, you know, the parts are real. The flirts are very real. Like, definitely trust the flirt, but I'm just getting nothing but good, good cards for you around this. So.

Querent: Thank you so much.

Michelle Tea: You're welcome. Good luck. Oh boy. We got to know, you know, I don't know. What do you guys think about when you're like talking to somebody and they're telling you about like they're I don't know, like their person. They're they're committed, loved one. And you're like, Oh, what sign are they? And they're like, Oh, I don't know. You're like, Are you even on this planet? How do you? You don't even know the person you're like, Sleep next to every night. You don't know their sign. I don't know. Obviously, obviously, I'm an extreme. I'm an extreme opinion about this. OK. This is a little bit of a longer one, but I think it's pretty interesting. I'm going to jump into it. OK? I'm looking for a bit of guidance. I'm currently in the thick of some sort of large transformation in my life, but I'm feeling rather tumbled around in the waves. I don't really know where this transformation is headed or honestly, what sort of work needs to be done on my end. I'm an osteo mansour and often turn to my bag of bones for direction and reflection. But I've been having trouble fully receiving the messages that I feel are being sent to me as a bit of a background info. My fiancee and I recently moved from our hometown of Baltimore, Maryland, to Savannah, Georgia. Prior to moving, we received a wait. I only read this one. Now, sometimes I'm like, They all blur together, you guys. And there's my hugest fear that I'm going to like pick cards on something I've already picked cards on. It happens. Tell me, tell me if I ever do that, OK? Prior to moving, we received a plethora of signs that the move to Savannah was the right path for us. However, after moving, we were hit with a storm of disappointments, loneliness and health troubles. I'm still currently recovering from a corneal ulceration that threatened to leave my left eye useless, but has since turned a corner. Thank God. Wait, have we had a question about an eye problem before I'm haunted? I might have just read this a bunch of times, myself. When the issue started, I heard a voice inform me that quote. This is how it's supposed to happen. Whoa. Initially, I took that as a sign that I was to go blind in my left eye and quickly accepted this as part of a transformation process. I have read this query before Azure. Oh my God, you know what it is? They sent me, they sent me an email and also they sent me an Instagram about it. OK, everyone saying it sounds familiar, but it's not the same question. Oh Jesus, let's just do it right. Shall we just do it? I mean, why not? It's a great it's it's, you know, I'm interested. I know no one's sure we're all in this together. I love it. You remember? OK, Jamie remembers that I thing in the Savannah, the Marilyn move. OK, I'm not doing it. I'm not doing it. Listen, friends, when you when you message me, don't do it more than once. Don't follow it up with an email because look how confused I get. How many people with corneal ulcerations are moving from Baltimore to Savannah? Like, obviously it's the same person. OK, here we go.

Here's a different one. I got a job offer in Los Angeles, my boyfriend at the time, and I made a very hard and emotional decision to split up because he did not want to uproot his life to Callie. We live together in Philadelphia at the time, and we were dating for four years. Fast forward 10 or so days and the pandemic begins. Beginning of the pandemic, the L.A. job directed me to not move just yet. They were not going to pay relocation fees until the pandemic cleared. Oh no, I'm really feeling like what a tower card of a question this is. I moved on to my dad's house twenty five minutes from Philadelphia because of the breakup, and this is where I am still living almost two years later. Turns out the L.A. job was not for me, and I decided to quit in June 2021. I have since gotten a new position and it is remote, so I have the option to go anywhere. I feel overwhelmed with where to go and to get out of the depression I have been living in for the past two years. I recently thought about moving back to Philadelphia because it is close, but my ex still lives there and has a new girlfriend. Oh no, that's awful. I have thought about other cities like San Francisco or Burlington, Vermont, but I worry I do not have the funds to make it on my own. Thank you. Oh oh my god. That just sucks. I'm so sorry about how the pandemic totally towered your your your situation. Oh my god. Cats like jump move to San Francisco. I love an opinion. I got a lot of them, too, but we're just going to ask the top of the tower. We're going to ask the tarot. OK, so first of all, what if you do move to Philadelphia? Back to Philadelphia, OK? Yeah, you're not moving there for your ex anymore? And is it going to feel super icky when you guys run into each other at, like Trader Joe's? Yes, it's going to be horrible. But you know, Philadelphia, you know, it's a cool town. There's other things there besides, you know, your ex. And since you suggested it, I'm going to pull three cards on what Philadelphia looks like for you. OK, so close by. That's, you know, baby steps out of the nest. Oh my god. Welcome to ask the tower sounds like a heck of a podcast episode, says Azure. No, we are not asking the tower. You're not. But I guess, you know, the tower will tell us if it's got anything to say. All right. So now I'm shuffling for four San Francisco. I mean, I lived in San Francisco for like twenty five years longer than I've ever lived anywhere, so I really feel like it's my hometown. It's such a great place. Famously, it's changed and not for the better. But you know, I've also heard a lot of other things about, you know, how it's changed since the pandemic. Maybe it's becoming a little more livable. San Fran, OK, three cars on San Francisco for this person who's got to get out of their dad's house, that's really most important, right? OK. Burlington, Vermont. How interesting. All right. You know, I have like no personal read on Burlington, Vermont. I really don't. I think I was there once that was for I got sober. I was on a tour. Might have been someplace else. Burlington, Vermont. Is this your destiny? Is this our Cuaron's destiny? To go to Burlington, Vermont and have extreme seasons have an extremely seasonal existence? Oh right. This is my last little shuffle here. All right. So we picked three places. First up, Philadelphia, two of two of discs change. OK, oh, six of cups, pleasure and the fool. Oh my goodness, that looks really good. You know, it's really funny that the two of cups, I'm sorry, the two of discs being that, you know, Jupiter and Capricorn. It's a good change as a positive change, but it's not without some friction and resistance, right? Because we're Capricorn. All change is bad change. So, you know, that friction might be the fact that you're like, Oh, I'm going back someplace I came from already, you know, obviously the acts. So there might be that might be a little bit of what the Oh, I see someone. There's a little note the app is glitching. Oh, I just want to stop and read this because it's pretty funny. The app is glitching and it's making everyone's little, you know, picture the same as mine and it's really tripping me out. Yeah, that sounds hella black wave. I'm sorry that's happening to you. Oh, my goodness. OK. So anyway, moving on from the change card, you'll get over that right. You'll get past that little friction once you make the decision and then, oh my gosh, the pleasure card. How wonderful sun in Scorpio. Listen, you don't need to worry about like that your ex, you know, with his, with his new girlfriend or whatever they need to worry about you, OK, because you're just going to be walking in there like the mysterious, amazing person who, like Kim, came from out of town. You are going to be so busy with the pleasures of your own life. And as it should be, so that looks really good. And then you get the full card. That's a real go for it. Kind of a out as far as I'm concerned. But let's see what the other things will do. Let me see here. San Francisco. Wow, that also looks really good. Damn OK. Queen of Wands. OK? I love the queen of Wands. She's been through a lot, as have you right? And she lets that sort of bring her some life. You know, she's not. She's not in the dumps about it. She's not trying to hide it. She's really proud and interested and proud of her own experience and interested in her own experience, which I really like about her. So and she's she's like really wearing everything she's been through as a sort of badge of honor, which is very cool. And I think you should do the same then the night of discs, which is like, OK, first you're on fire with the queen of wands, rage, just like really able to run big energy. And then, boom, you're grounded, grounded with the night of death. And I like the night of discs for a moving card, right? It's like all four hooves are on the ground. It's nice and earthy. And just in case you're worried that this sounds boring. Boom, the lust card. OK, it's the strength card. It's the Leo card. It's looks really good. They're they're both. Both of these reeds are so filled with life, you know, I really I really love it. Let's see what's going on in Burlington. Oh, don't go to Burlington. Burlington. Burlington is giving me such a case of the blahs. Just looking at these cards, OK? It's like the adjustment card and the hanged man with the prince of disks in the middle. It's like Janesville now. I mean, if you think maybe Janesville sounds nice, I mean, sometimes we want you on the bill. Sometimes we're like, Oh, I want to live in a little cottage and do nothing and look at my my snow frosted window and it, you know, a random deer eating a berry that's poking through the snow. Like, that's Burlington, Vermont. But it's not really going to be that fun once you're there. I mean, adjustment is just kind of trying to make it work. The Hanged Man is like, This kind of sucks, but I did it to myself. I know I'm going to like it here, but do you? Prince of Deaths in the middle is like, I'm not changing course. I did, you know? I mean, I made my bed in the snow of Burlington, Vermont, and now I'm going to freeze it. So I say Philadelphia versus San Francisco. I say San Francisco, I just picked two quick cards. You got the Moon for Philadelphia and you got the lovers for San Francisco. Does that mean Philadelphia is suddenly a bad choice because of the Moon? No, it does not mean that you will have a great time and a great new beginning in Philadelphia. I just, you know, they're both so good. I wanted a tie breaker, so I think I got it with San Francisco. You will be able to take care of yourself there. You've got the energy and you've got the like stability. Like you've got the the chops, you know, to be able to do that, you've got the skills. OK. Good luck to you. Wow. I love doing readings like that where you're picking like, I get really excited. I'm like, What's it going to be? Where's this person going to live?

OK, I'm putting the cards back and I'm seeing who's around. Lenny, you're up, Lenny. And please unmute yourself and let me know how the tarot can help you. You might have to refresh that the the app. Oh, Lenny is in the chat saying no. What is it, Lenny? You can't unmute. That is a true bummer. Or maybe I don't know. I don't know why, Lenny said now. OK, Lenny, I'm going to say bye to you, but I'll try you again next time. OK? All right. Let's see. Who else can I grab here? I can grab Melissa. You are up, Melissa. How can I help you? And you also must unmute. Everyone must unmute.

Querent: Hello.

Michelle Tea: Are people having a hard time? I'm muting, I wonder. It sounds like maybe–

Querent: I found it. I found it so ready.

Michelle Tea: Oh great. I'm so glad. I'm so glad. How can I help you?

Querent: Hi. I sent you a DM so you can do that.

Michelle Tea: OK. All right, great.

Querent: And the situation has evolved. So this is a love question. I hate to be that person.

Michelle Tea: We are all this is that room. Don't worry.

Querent: Yeah, I feel good, but I feel like I need to ask somebody else because I read every day and again, you sort of center. I read with different decks every day thinking that if it's like a different deck, then I'll get a different answer, but I have to pull the same cards. So I got into a relationship early last year and it was sort of like a kid love at first sight. Oh yeah. The first day I, they took me to the sea for the full moon in January last year, and then I was complaining that I hadn't seen the ocean in a while, and then they took me to the sea and I thought it was like right next to their hometown. But it wasn't. We drove two more hours after I'd taken a train ride and everything. Those were frantic. And then after three dates, we moved in together because pandemic. Okay. And then it's also like a queer relationship. So I lesbians.

Michelle Tea: Everything makes sense. Thank you for that context.

Querent: I need. I need. I need to give context. And so we moved in together and it was really great. And I remember I was dating somebody else and it was like poly for the first couple of first months or so. And then it turned monogamous because we had moved in together and because I sort of had like a big rift with the person I was dating. And then they said, Well, I have a love connection somewhere else. And then I was like, That's fine. That's absolutely fine. I. But like, I rather no more so that I don't have to like, make up ideas in my head like I can do poly and I'm fine. But I, the way I do poly is just tell me exactly what's happening. And that way I don't make anything up in my head and I can. I can deal with what I can with what I know. I can't deal with what I don't know.

Michelle Tea: That's a wise.

Querent: And thank you. And so months go by. They're transitioning. They changed. They finally got all their papers changed the driver's license passports, national ID card, and they could finally travel. And so in my head, I'm like, Oh, you're going to go see this person that you haven't been able to see for the last two years. And I'm just waiting for them to, like, admit to that. But instead, they're just like being super cryptic and they they end up getting a flight to North America to see this person and and they ask for a break right before leaving. And then I'm like, Well, are you asking for a break? So you can see this person guilt free. I mean, you don't have to. You can, and they're like, No, that's crazy, but then that's exactly what they did. And so all my fears sort of turned out. And so I just I was like, I don't think we need a break. I think we need a break up because you can't be forthright and honest and so on. They're like, No, you're being. They really gaslight me and said, You don't love yourself and you're being really heavy, and I feel as though you're trying to. And I knew exactly who it was to because they're terrible liar. And I was like. They said, No, you're you're really you're trying to get things for me. And I'm like, No, I'm just want you to be honest, and I sort of know the truth. But I just I need you to say it so that I can. I can keep trusting you. And then they couldn't. And we broken up. It's taken months for them to realize that we've broken up. We've broken out, OK, and now they keep hanging out in my neighborhood. We live in different cities. Obviously, that's why we moved in together. But they keep living like hanging out in my neighborhood, in the city where I live. And a couple of days ago, after not seeing them for four months, they slipped. They were like, Oh hi, we have to talk to, we have to talk. And I refused to talk for months, and this slipped a common book they made about us in my grocery bags. And it's like there are comic book artists, and it's like a personalized comic book. They're white and black, and they made me like a Black Panther and saying that our spirit animals and I know it's it's all timed and I'm trying to like, go through the major lines of the plot.

Michelle Tea: But so many major lines. This story is terrible. I'm so sorry. 

Querent: I'm going to stop it so you can finally read the cards. But this is the whole story. Yeah. And and what I'm trying and in my head, I'm like, This is a this person is really not for me, even though they stop me in the street and they're saying I just bumped into you. Like, No, you've been hanging out my neighborhood. You live in a different town. This is you don't have nothing to do in the city, but they they're like, No, we're you're my person. I know I'm your person. I need to be together. We've been together in other lifetimes and so on and then said this stuff that I normally like die for. I'm like, Yes, but there's so many things that are problematic that I need to know that my brain and my heart need to be aligned on certain certain things that were not working out. And as much as I still love them, I in my my brain, my rational mind says no, and I need to know that I made the right decision and that I need to stick to the course. Or if I'm like, No, you can be. You can have a slightly racist partner and sort of change them like, I don't want to be that girl. I know I don't want to be my girl, but but I need like confirmation that I'm–

Michelle Tea: I don't even want to read cards on this. I'm like, You're not allowed to have a slightly racist partner. Oh my god, I love. Can I just say also, like, I love the like we were together in the past life? It's like, Yeah, you were a fucking fool then too. You know what I mean? Here you are stalking my next life. Like, stop it. Like, I broke up with you lifetimes ago. Like, Get ahead. OK, OK. But that's not what you want to hear. I'm going to know is it?

Querent: Is it that we were so happy when we were so happy? And then, yeah, and then I, I really didn't see them as my person for for a while. And then it's I'm still in the shock of waking up every day and be like, Oh, wow, this person I finally could trust is not trustworthy completely.

Michelle Tea: All right, so I'm going to pull some cards for you, just like sticking to your like decision here, OK? This requires a longer reading. All right. Yeah, you got it. You got to stick with this. You got to stick with this. And it just looks like, OK, I'm going to tell you the whole story I did instead of just doing three cards. You told me a long story and I pulled you along reading, OK. Oh no, you no, no, no, it's OK. We need. We need all the information here, right? You gave us a lot of information and thank you. So the first three card that come up is Princess of Swords, Knight of Wands and the Moon. OK, so the Princess of Swords is like in the top deck. It sounds like you really know Tara, so you might know, like she's just like tearing the temple down. She's like, Fuck this temple. It is corrupt. I'm getting rid of it. And like, maybe she could have, you know, went on change.org and started a petition. She didn't do that. She tore the thing down, right?

Querent: And this is the second time I've been told this like I. This is a third terror reading. I'm getting in six months about this and this is this is the second time I'm pulling this concerning the same thing.

Michelle Tea: Yeah, yeah. Well, that makes sense. I mean, I feel like you're, you know, you're probably embodying her a little bit. She probably an ally for you right now. And then right after her is the night of wines. And so that's really interesting because on the one hand, that can be a bit of your energy of just like being on fire and being like, No, you know, it's a very active card, but it could also be your acts just like because the night of wands, you know, I I in general, I read the night of ones as energy. But you know, as a person, the night is just sort of like very impulsive, just like over here and then over there and then over here, you know, so it just it could be, you know, the two of you and that's how they're being represented. What sign or what's on, you guys?

Querent: I'm Capricorn and Aries rising with the Leo Moon, and they are a Virgo with a Leo rising and a and all spells Libra. No, man.

Michelle Tea: Gosh. Well, you know, whatever it is, you know whether, whether it's an energy and it's the energy of you just sort of like feeling really hot about this and being like, No, you know, with all that night of one's energy. Either way, it drops you off at the moon, which is, I feel like kind of where you are right now, where you're like, I think I made the right decision, right? But what's weird? You know, and it's like, God, when is it ever clear on a breakup like you? There's always regret in life. But but what about in the past when it was so nice all that shit is clouding you right now? And that's why I kept picking cards. So I'm like, We need to know what's on the other side of the moon. Like, we know this already, OK? On the other side of the Moon, meaning like what? I was asking the card like, if you stick with these boundaries, you know, if you stick with yourself, what's on the other side of the Moon, the star, the night of desks and victory? OK, like, like, yeah, you. Oh my god, this star. It's like you need to be like aiming for like somebody who is as big of a star as you are, right? Like, I feel like the star is about like having those standards, like daring to believe that we can just like, have it all, have everything we want manifest, you know, a love that can meet us on our own terms. People who have the same sort of standards of communication, the same ability to emotionally communicate all these things that, like you, you know, have showed in such a great way. Like you, I feel like the star is about like, that's what your North Star should be as somebody who's got the skills that you've got, right? And then the night of discs is like, you know, you might not find that person immediately. But beyond that, like, I don't even think you're going to be looking for that person immediately. I think that once the moon clears, you're just going to be a little bit in yourself, but like not in a like hold up eating ice cream, sitting on your couch. Like, I think you're going to be out in the world and this lively, dynamic way that that gives you a lot of affirmation about the choice you made and about just how amazing you are. And you're just going to soak in that for a while and have a good time. You have the Jupiter and Leo, right? Six of wands victory. So. Yes. Stay away from this person. And then I was like, OK. And then what's down the line I needed? You know, I like three years, so I did three groups of threes. Down, yeah, down the line. Your middle card is the four beautiful. And on either side, it's the four of disks power and the aid of disks, prudence. So I just love that it's like, you know, here's the fall right in the middle, sort of jumping off into the unknown. But it's like it's like buttressed by these really strong positive Earth cards, right?

Querent: Balance out.

Michelle Tea: Yeah, I was born with that power card, right? And yeah, I think it's really like Sun and Virgo, but it doesn't mean anything, OK? I don't know.

Querent: I did ask this person that like if he wanted to talk to to wait till I released my next record and and they were one week shy and I read Be complete concentrated. I'm releasing this solo independently and I need to be focused, and they keep doing this shit when I need to be focused. And that's just a confirmation that I need to stay course. And thank you all the red flags in the chat.

Michelle Tea: So many red flags in the chat right now. Yes, I. Oh my God, that you ask them to respect that. They couldn't do it, and it's around your work in like you're a creative worker, you're an artist, like, no, that's awful, like. And in that they gaslight you is so bad when like you had your intuition. Like, that's like an abuse of intuition, you know.

Querent: It's weird. Like, if you're dating, you're two witches, you're dating another witch. Why would you assume that it couldn't figure out your bullshit? Yeah, that never did. I won't get over it. But yeah, but now I know that. Yeah. Anyway, I was just I'm just so annoyed with myself, and I'm a lot of self-blame with regards to this and tip for going back and forth. But thank you very much for the reading.

Michelle Tea: Well, you're very, very welcome. It's hard to fully cut off a person, but it just looks like, yeah. And also, can we just talk about how they still aren't being honest like that? They're lying and saying they're just in your neighborhood with a cast about you? I mean, they're not even doing anything different.

Querent: And the person they flew for this thing now, they're like, No, it was just it was just like, it was nothing. It was just like a fling. It was like a crush. And I was like, Wow, you can't spend thousands of bucks on a flight to No. It's wild. So, yeah, oh my god.

Michelle Tea: Wow. Wow, that's a while. Well, I'm so psyched for you that you have your your album already out?

Querent: It's coming out next week. That's coming out next week. I got one more week. I'm staying up. It's four a.m. here.

Michelle Tea: So what do you want? I mean, do you want to stay? It's fine if you want to stay anonymous, but do you want to tell anyone? Like, tell us, like what your album is or anything so we can?

Querent: Oh no, I'm under my own name. I this is I actually have a last name of which is pretty cool. That my album is called Mama forgot her name was miracle and is coming out in a week all around the world.

Michelle Tea: Yes.

Querent: Well, we're finally on Instagram. And that's that's it. That's it. But thank you very much for. For this reading, and I'm just going to go cry about it and not for a couple of hours.

Michelle Tea: Yeah, you go, go and do that and take care.

Querent: Thank you very much. Thank you.

Michelle Tea: Oh my god, I know Vera. I loved her too. Oh my God. I mean, like that. That whole story just sounds like that's how my divorce went down. We were open and I knew that my partner was lying and they gaslit me. And then just like, Split, you know? Well, why do people do that? Why? Oh shit. Oh, Melissa was calling from Paris, France? Oh my God. Very glamorous. Very glamorous. OK, let me see you guys can I want to take a poll here? I want to take a poll of like some like an f, almost like an ethical issue here that I'm having somebody reach out to me. I'd love to know what you guys think. Somebody reached out and they've got a bad dad. OK? I mean, who doesn't? Am I right? You know, at the very least, I'm quoting from this letter medium level creepy, medium level of creepy emotional abuse. OK. Homophobic, racist. Ablest, you know. Inappropriate. Not not a good dad here. OK? Definitely somebody that you would be well within. You know your, you know, no court would convict you from a stranger yourself from this man. But they, you know, I'm like working this out in real time. They want to know. They think that this person, this might actually be sexually abusive and they're not sure. And it's making them feel really paranoid. They're like, Is this real? Or am I paranoid and led by fear and not intuition? And you know, it sounds like they've also says, you know, our mom has been telling us from the time we were little that we were disease with mental illness. So this person is really struggling and being gaslit so that they don't even know which way to go. You know, and I understand that whole notion of like, well, if you think that you were sexually abused, you were probably sexually abused, right? Because that stuff gets buried. It's really hard to look at. Denial is super, super strong, but also sometimes things get also really confused when someone is like, sexually inappropriate and you are, you are picking up the right vibe like they're dangerous and they're gross and you need to stay away from them. But maybe it's not that this person wants me to pick tarot cards for them on it, but you know, I, you know, I'm really I draw lines, you know, sometimes. And I would love to hear from other tarot readers of like the boundaries you might have with with folks who ask questions like if someone's clearly in, yeah, they need, they need. Very. Direct resources, thank you, Ash, they need direct resources. And this was a very long letter, and I'm only quoting a tiny, tiny bit from it. They are getting help, you know, they are in the pipeline, but yeah, you know, sometimes people are clearly in a very abusive relationship and one a tarot reading. I'm like, No, I'm not going to do that. You just got to get out of that abusive relationship. And for something like this? Yes, OK. The speakes way more. As you're saying, this speaks more of therapy work. This is so interesting, right? Because there is a difference between therapy and tarot, right? Sometimes a good tarot reading. Ideally a guttering feels like a great therapy session, but it's not, you know, it's it is not the same skills. I am not a therapist who went to school and studied for years about very specific things and how to help people in that way. So I hope that you're listening. Thank you for reaching out. I think it's such a great impulse to reach out. I'm not going to read the cards on it. I think that you're in a really tough situation. Frankly, it's a situation that I've been in as well. I have creepy dads and some of them crossed lines and some didn't, and it was really hard to tell. So I really understand wanting help from the town or wanting someone just to tell you, like, yes, this is happening or no, this is not happening, but I think it is something that you have to ask yourself. I do encourage you to get tarot and do and cultivate a practice. It can be really helpful. It won't necessarily, you know, give you a yes or no answer to life, but it's just a great support when you're struggling with trauma. I find and just know that everybody here on this show in the chat call the listeners, we're all with you and we're wishing you well. So please do take care. And I'm sorry that I'm not going to pick cards on this question. All right. HUF heavy stuff, you guys.

All right. Let me see. I'm just going to pick somebody here from the room. We're getting really close to the end. If you like this show and I hope you do. You can listen to back issues on Spotify. Just search for your magic, which is my podcast and love is back. I will choose you money that's perfect. And you'll find you'll find back episodes of Ask the Tarot so you can just kind of keep listening. Let's see. Where's Lenny? There you are. All right, the second time's the charm, Lenny. But see if you can unmute yourself this time. You know, it just takes a minute. Yeah. Come on, Lenny, the chats rooting for you. Oh, you're right.

Querent: Hello, my god, I'm so sorry.

Michelle Tea: Oh, don't apologize. It's technology, you know?

Querent: No, it was. I was like baking earlier when you called me and I had butter all over my hand and thought I could only take. No, but I couldn't. I couldn't figure it out. I couldn't get to work. But but I'm here now.

Michelle Tea: Oh, great.

Querent: Thanks for giving me that second chance.

Michelle Tea: Sure what do you want to know about?

Querent: So I'm working. I got a grant a couple of months ago to write a play that I've been working on, which is super exciting and it's been great. But it's kind of a it's kind of a funny grant because it's sort of like just enough money to live and there's a rule where you can't have a job. All right. Well, you're getting the grant. So yeah, it's sort of it's sort of funny. It's it's great, but it's not ideal. And so I'm sort of wondering and then I got a lead on another job that sounds really great and it would like sort of work the grant. But I'm I guess I'm sort of wondering, like, should I take a job? It's a situation where if I take the job, they'll subtract the money that I earn from the grant money.

Michelle Tea: OK, well, generous granting organization like, well, I know. Let's punish you for hustling.

Querent: And like I know, yeah, it's like this. This damn thing where they like made it in the 80s and in the 80s, it was like a super great salary, but then they just never increased the salary with inflation. And so now it's just like kind of it's kind of share, but it also offers you some really great resources. So, you know, it's a little bit of both. But now I'm sort of wondering, like, should I just kind of keep going with this grant? And, you know, just be like a little bit more. What's the word like thrifty? OK, well, I'm doing it. Should I try to get a job and sort of like be paid under the table and see if they would work with me in that way? And then I'm also trying to apply for some other grants that actually would be a lot more lucrative.

Michelle Tea: OK. Yeah. Great. OK. So the first one is just stick with the grant. So reshuffling right now sticking with keeping going. How much how much more time do you have left on the grant?

Querent: Well, four months, I guess. And I can extend it to a year. I can. Yeah.

Michelle Tea: Would they keep giving you money for a year?

Querent: Yeah. Yeah, they'll keep giving you the same amount of money. Yeah, they study. It's not nothing. It's just like, not thought a lot.

Michelle Tea: OK, so three cards was just sticking with the grant. Three cards for getting over on the grantor with an unknown on the table.

Querent: That's definitely my favorite option.

Michelle Tea: But it sounds really good. Ryan Watson, like your highest interest and you know, supporting your highest good here isn't under the table.

Querent: I'm a Gemini, if that's helpful.

Michelle Tea: Well, it makes me feel confident that you can have and have it under the table hustle and complete your play and go.

Querent: Yeah, no. Is that realistic? The most being option? Yeah. And I'm also a Libra Moon and Libra rising.

Michelle Tea: Oh wow, God, that's such a great, you know, little trip for a playwright. I love it. Oh, thank you. Yeah. OK, so now I'm shuffling getting more grants, you know, and those things I know that, you know, once you get a grant, you do tend to get other grants, especially. I wonder if the grant was if you go look for another grant and they're like, Oh, that person got that grant that doesn't let you get a job. We got to give that person.

Querent: Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Michelle Tea: So let's see if there's supplemental grants and what that looks like for you.

Querent: Yeah. And also just what would be the best for the play because I'm really passionate about the play and I really want to work on it.

Michelle Tea: Yeah. OK. Huh. So here's the deal as far as just like living off the grant solely off the grant. Yeah, we can do that. Eurocentric art for it is the success card. It's serving six of desks. OK. Interest? Yes, you are resourceful. Like you can be thrifty. And that's about all as well in the material plain. And that's what we need to look at. But you're not going to be super happy about it. OK. On the one side, you have that princess of sorts card. We just saw that come up in Melissa's reading, and she's just like, pissed. You know, it's frustrating. Like, it's like, like the design. Ice-T are looking at this, that the desire to to get that other to get a job isn't going to leave you. It's going to be hard, right? You know what I mean? Like, are going to be like, Yeah, I'm going to do this. But. You're going to be haunted all the time being like, Goddammit. Right? More money. Yeah, yeah. Because your other card is the eight of cups indolence, right? Saturn in Pisces right now that Pisces wants to think like, Oh, I can just drift along, I'll be fine. I'll be happy and sad and like, No, you're not happy. Are you happy, Pisces? Things are being neglected. Like, maybe you want more money because like, you're in the world. Oh my god. All that Libra. You need some things you need, you think?

Querent: No, I really. I really do.

Michelle Tea: You do. You need your things. And that's making it a little bit hard for you to get your things.

Querent: Exactly. And it's funny. I actually pulled the eight of cups this morning. Really, I've been calling it a lot recently. So it's and I've kind of, yeah, so that makes sense.

Michelle Tea: Gosh, OK, this is very you got some interesting cards. It looks like there's just like a central. Could the problem be capitalism? I'm like, there's a problem is just level way, and I'm like, Oh, it's it's capitalism. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, I try to get around the needing the money situation. You know, it looks like the undercover of the undercover, Oh my God, the undercover job. I mean, the under the table job doesn't look great. Even even though I'm like, Oh, you know, you're a Gemini, you can multitask. You can, you know, you can write your play and work on your play and have a job. It actually does look hard. Like I'm saying you can do that. But the tarot is like, actually, there's only so much energy. There's only so much mental space, right? And no, you got the seven of wands, which is valar, which is about a struggle. I mean, you end in the struggle. It wouldn't be bad if the other cards weren't failure and cruelty on either side of it, you know? Oh, I don't like that at all.

Querent: But that sounds a little harsh.

Michelle Tea: I'm going for grants. Yes, do that. You got the Sun in the center of it, which is like, Wow. Yes, bet you will get a grant and that will help you and you know, the other cards on this. This one about the grant with the Sun. The first one is the night of wands. So like, get right on it. Like, just like I don't know what you know, isn't there like an NEA deadline? Oh, it's for poetry. There's there's deadlines happening, so jump on it. And then it's really interesting. It's like you have the ten of wands, which is the oppression card, the Saturn and Sagittarius. And I wonder if does does writing grants super get you down or frustrate you? Does that really frustrates me? Yeah, I mean, it's it's an interesting card to pop up there. I don't feel that it's as you know, I feel like it's no match for the Sun. I mean, I think the main message in this is the Sun saying like, Yes, you know, get go and get it, you will get it. But there's something about the about it all just feeling like such a drag, you know?

Querent: Yeah, yeah. Yeah.

Michelle Tea: So, you know, try to keep your chin up. I mean, you know, I think that I think the thing to do is to try to be thrifty and try to get more grants, right? And damn, I wish you know it is. I do see a little bit of a struggle in these cards for you. But I also see a lot of glory, frankly, I say. And so just try to just like, you know, keep, you know, keep in mind the end game, your end goal, your long term goal, which is to finish this play, which, you know, with the success card and the Sun. Like this play is absolutely going to see the light of day. It looks very successful. It just looks like it's a grind, right? And the grind, the grind will get you down a little bit, but just try to stay grateful and and really grateful that you're an artist. You know, grateful that you've got this thing in you that wants to write plays, you know?

Querent: Awesome, thank you so much. That's yeah, no, that's that's really helpful, and it feels like it's matching up with my instincts about about it, actually.

Michelle Tea: OK, good. I'm really glad. And what's your play called?

Querent: Right now it's called EA Ten twenty seven. OK, it's it's about a a female architects, and she built a house that's called eighteen. Twenty seven. Oh, OK. Nobody steal the idea.

Michelle Tea: But yeah, no way back here. This is going to be recorded on Spotify for your court case.

Querent: Oh, incredible. Incredible. It's and everything. Thank you so much and we all wish you so much luck on you getting by. Thanks. And I'm so happy you chose me. I'm a I'm a huge fan of your books. I am. Yeah, I tell everyone to read Black Wave. It's my favorite memoir.

Michelle Tea: Oh wow. Thank you so much. I really appreciate that.

Querent: Yeah, of course. Thank you.

Michelle Tea: OK, bye bye. Wow, that's so cool. People are writing plays. People are producing records where such a creative bunch here on Ask the Tarot. I love it. Monica just wants to say that we're all awesome humans. I'm feeling that same thing right now. Monica, I'm feeling that everybody in this room, it's such such an awesome human and I love, love, love. You know, every Thursday night seeing you all show up and and picking cards. I'm so sorry that I have to close the room now. My kid has to go to bed in literally two minutes. I got to go, put him in bed, but I'll be here again next Thursday. I'll try not to talk too much about my wedding, you guys, but I probably want a little bit. And again, if you like this girl, listen to back episodes on Spotify. Just go look at your magic is where it is. You might like to listen to those, too. They're my podcast and have a great rest of your week. Thanks for the congratulations you guys. You're so sweet.

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Michelle Tea: Hello, friends. Remember to catch Ask the Tarot Live every Thursday at 9:00 p.m. Eastern on Spotify Green Room. Join me for a journey through the cycles of life, love and aspiration in real time. Just download the Spotify Green Room app, sign up for free or use your Spotify login to join the conversation. You'll be able to hear live readings, meet really interesting people and even ask questions of your own. Download Spotify Green Room for free today and join Ask the Tarot Live every Thursday.

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