Ask the Tarot: Should I Cut My Dad Off?

This is a recording of our Spotify Live show from January 13, 2022. Tune in on Spotify every Thursday at 6 PM PT/9 PM ET to catch Michelle Tea’s tarot readings. Or listen on the Spotify Live app where you can join the chat — you’ll even have a chance to ask the tarot what’s on your mind.

If you love what you’re hearing (or just want more witchy content) please support our work on Patreon!

This transcript is AI-generated and may not be 100% perfect. If you notice something wrong, just email hello@thisisyourmagic.com.

[Music]

Michelle Tea: Hey, everyone, thank you so much for tuning in, but did you know that you can join Ask the Tarot Live every Thursday at 9:00 PM Eastern on Spotify Green Room. That is right live. All you have to do is download the Spotify Green Room app and sign up for free. Or you can also use your Spotify login to join. You can click on the link in our Series two or in the episode descriptions. Once you're there, follow Ask the Tarot. And tune in every Thursday at 8pm to hear what the tarot has to say. Hey, I'll even read your questions live. You don't want to miss that. Download Spotify Green Room for free today and join Ask the Tarot Live every Thursday.

[Music]

Michelle Tea: Hello, everyone, happy Thursday, indeed. Welcome to another evening of Ask the Tarot, where you can ask me, Michele tea questions about your life. You know, and I'll pick tarot cards for you. You're really asking the tarot. I'm just like the voice for the tarot. Although, you know, I will probably put my two cents and I can't help it. I'm very opinionated. But you know, the tarot. That's really what the tarot says you got to listen to. So, yes, my name is Michele Tea. I'm the author of Modern Tarot. I have a podcast over on Spotify that it's called Your Magic. You might like it. Check it out. And if you like this room and I kind of think you will because it's going to be amazing, you can go on to Spotify, search for your magic in our feed. You'll find all the back, the back. I won't say back issues, but we're kind of like a magazine, but we're very different. All the back episodes of Ask the Tarot if you want to ask me a question, raise your hand, go into the requests and you know, I'll call on you and I'm going to call on folks. But I'm also going to read questions that folks have sent to me and to my Instagram. If you're feeling a little shy, you'd like to ask a question, but you don't want to sort of be on the virtual stage. You can find me on Instagram @michelleteaz T-E-A-Z and send me a question, and I'll put it in my in my little folder and I'll get to it. So I'm going to start with one of those, OK? This one's been sticking around there for a minute, and I want to get to it. OK. My question is around my house. So listen, the theme this week, you know, I always kind of try to organize these these questions by themes. It's kind of just like, What the hell do I do? That's the theme. The theme is like, What the hell do I do? OK? My question is around my house. I own my home own and live alone in New Orleans, which sustained damages from Hurricane Ida. Everything with the insurance claim and mortgage company is so confusing, and I'm trying to get the ball rolling on starting some pretty massive renovations, some of which I'll have to move out of the house to complete. And I'm so overwhelmed. I can't imagine this like the combination of just like having your home messed with and then having to deal with like bureaucracy, that's terrible. It's like a one two punch. OK, so we're sending you love for sure, the very least. My question is, what should I focus on first getting a trailer built in my backyard where I can stay during renovations and eventually friends and visitors can stay there too? I am also very lonely and tired of living alone. Should I focus on finding available and skilled workers who can replace my roof, revamp the foundation and replace the floors? Or do I take no action at all until this insurance check is in my hand and things will become more clear from there? Oh OK, so I love New Orleans, too. This is a room that loves New Orleans has been a few occasions to to love on New Orleans in the Ask the Tero room, and I never tire of it. It is really one of my favorite places in the whole world. So I picked some cards as asked to. I'm using the the modern which tarot and you know, I'm going to read with everybody lives with the modern, which tarot tonight. If you don't know about it, it's a gorgeous deck that is almost an exact replica of the Rider-Waite. Except all the people are female to lesser and lower degrees. You know, they're not necessarily fair, but they're all female and all races and body shapes, and it's a great deck. I really like it. So I picked three cards about, you know, getting the trailer built in the backyard. Now I just want to say with a with a question like this where there's so much pain and anxiety, you know, you're not going to get a reading for anything that's like, you know, it's not going to come up. Cherries are going to get some rough cards because you're in a rough reality. So I'm also looking for a realistic read, but that has some hope, right? And I got that with this. The very first card that came up is the magician. So it's like, Yes, yes, absolutely. Build that trailer. Build yourself your mini home, right? The magician manifest makes things happen and and draw those visitors to you to help you with your loneliness, right? You also got the eight of cups, and you know that in the classic Rider-Waite inspired image, the person has, you know, painstakingly built up eight cups and now they have to abandon it. So, you know, relatable or what? I mean, you know, you have your house in New Orleans and you've watched it get ruined. And now you know you're not having to leave your house, but you are for a moment, you know? And so this is sort of really saying, OK, you have to kind of turn your back on your old living space for a moment and there's grief there. And the fact that it's coming up, it's, you know, the terror wants you to recognize that, OK? And then your final card is the hanged one. That's what it's called in this death, the hanged one. But it's, you know, the same idea as the hanged man. It's an individual hung by their feet and by their sneakers on a tree with, you know, the radiance coming off their head because they are growing from this weird experience of limbo. They will be better some. And some really crucial way they will be better on the other side of it, so my gosh, is living in a trailer like the hanged one or what? Yes, it is. Limbo. You're putting yourself there because you need to. You know, it's for the best. But what a strange what a strange sort of purgatory you're going to be in. I'm sorry for that, but the magician is very helpful in that. I do think that even though you know it's going to feel like a waiting game to get through this, there's also the possibility for some magic in the creation of this little home, right? Especially if you're drawing people to you. That's always magical. So I take some cards on, you know, finding available and skilled workers. OK. It's really funny that you specifically said, you know, available and skilled the first card that came up. Page of wands. Listen, I love the page of wands. Maybe I even am the page of wands, but the page of ones is not skilled. The page of wands aspires to being skills, but the page of one's is just sort of figuring it out, OK? And then you have the nine of cups and you know, she's just sitting sort of smuggling in front of her cups that are all stacked up. So I mean, there's this is a person who is capable. Are they available, though? I don't. I don't know. I don't always get the I don't always get availability vibe from that classic knight of cups. You know, I'd love to hear what you guys think of Knight of Cups as, as you know, interpreted by the Rider-Waite and the, you know, the variations of the right away. And then you have the knight of cups. So like, is there help out there for you? Is there a knight on a white horse to come and help you with your house? I think so, but this looks a little jumbled to me. Also, doesn't it look like that to you? So I really wanted to compare and contrast with what does it look like if you wait until the insurance check is in your hand and let things become more clear? And I going to say again, you know, a bittersweet reading, but quite a powerful one, the very first card that comes up. King of Pentacles Hell yeah, you should wait till you have an insurance check in your hand. I mean, the king of Pentacles has a giant pentacle in their hand, and it might as well be an insurance check. You know, they're the king of pentagons. They're like, they've got the money, they've got the resources, they've got the confidence, the knowhow. I love the image in the modern, which is tarot. It's this like masculine person wearing like a tie and like a cute little like bomber jacket with like grapes all over. It's very adorable, anyway. So that is sending a strong message to me right out of the gate. The next one is the death card. OK? Wow. The death card that is really, really intense. But listen like you're facing, you know, you're not facing death, but the death of your home in a way as you as you knew it, there's a loss. Again, there is grief, OK? You might get more information about what you're able to do, and that might be real. But the final card that you have here is the high priestess. So, you know, she is absolutely between the King of Pentacles and the High Priestess. I'm like, Yes, please wait, please wait. You get your insurance check. You're going to have so much more wisdom. Maybe you'll have assistance, you know, in that people to talk to advisers, you know, that death card. I see I see a little bit of that everywhere, actually, I mean, it's very similar to that that eight of cups is also a grief card, and I think this is just you, you know, under under the, you know, the black flag of grief that the skeleton is where is holding, you know, the Grim Reaper is holding on the horse in the image. So please do what you can to tend to yourself and to not underestimate the effect that this has had on your psyche, your sense of stability, your sense of safety. I don't know. It's something like that would certainly trigger on my survival fears. So they're probably doing it to yours to be, well, good luck to you. Now let me see. I want to see something. Just making sure we're all good here in the neighborhood. And now let me see who's got their hands up. OK. Dabbing Catwoman, you're up. How can I help you?

Querent: I've pretty much been going through like this relationship issues for the past year. My boyfriend has been together for 12 years, and the last year I ended up making a mistake that he pretty much can't forgive me for saying he's just become really toxic to the point where I just want to be respected and seriously for good.

Michelle Tea: All right, so let's see. What does it look like if you guys stay together? And, you know, obviously I don't mean just stay together in misery and you know, it's not, you know, not work this stuff out. But what if you guys stay together with with the intention of of trying to get through this rough patch that you're in? So what would that look like? And I don't know. I don't know what that looks like. I don't know if you guys are able to get like couples counseling or even reach out to like friends that you both trust to see if they can help you mediate or something. What does it look like if you're like, you know, something, it's been 12 years. I did my best. This feels toxic. You know, I need a break. Like, who knows what happens in the future? Maybe you guys come back around after a break. Maybe it's just what you need to clear your head. Or maybe you're like, Oh, wow, I'm a different person than I was 12 years ago. And I like, you know, being out in the world and experiencing my freedom and my possibilities as this new person. So let's see what the cards say about both of these options. So for staying, you got the knight of cups. Oh wow. So funny. These are cards that just came up in the previous read. Some nights are like that. All right, staying looks hard. OK, the first card is the knight of Cups, which is really beautiful. The knight of Cups, you know, is said to be like the shovel, the chivalrous knight you know of your. It's like romantic and giving and and very loving and sweet and in love with love. Maybe even a little bit. So, you know, if you did, if you did, you know, chill. You know what? Maybe I know I take it back. I don't want to say that it's bad. It's hard, and you guys would have to be committed to it because the next card that you have, it looks like you start out committed. And then there's the fact that eight of cups, again, it's like you've put a lot of work into something and now you have to walk away from it. So that is a tricky message to get for staying right like that would make sense in leaving, but it's almost like there's some elements of the relationship like you have to recognize that the relationship has changed just as you guys have changed as people and you might have to walk away from an aspect of the relationship and put the past in the past. The final card is the hanged one again. Right now, the whole essence of the hanged man or the hanged one in this jack is you're putting yourself in a situation that is really uncomfortable, maybe even a little painful, but you do it because you believe you can get through it, and on the other side, you'll be better. So, you know, that's a tall order for a relationship that you're saying is toxic. I think that in order to do this and have it not be filled with grief, not have the eight of cups, be a grief card, not have the hanged one, be a martyrdom card, you know, because that's the shadow side of it is martyrdom. Your partner has to be meet you 100 percent. You know, I would really, really stress that though let's see what it looks like for you to go. Wow. It does not look bad to go. It looks, it looks a little better to go. There's the first card you have is the seven of Pentacles and you know, it would leaving would be, you know, it would be a moment for you to really take stock of your life in a really major way. Like, who are you? Where are you going? You know, literally, if you leave, like, where are you going to go and how do you want to build your life out from there? It's it's going to and this is not bad. It's not bad to be in a place like that, right? It can be really clarifying and kind of beautiful, but it's really going to call into question like, wow, you know, and all people in relationships do this like, you've built a lot of your life around this relationship. Take the relationship out and like, what's going on? You know, your next. Your next card is the night of Pentacles. And this is a night that is causing. He's the only. She's the only night whose horse is not moving forward. But it's deliberate and it's important. And that inaction is an action, right? It's like to be seen as an action. So I see, you know, if you're if you leave, it's about like you're really going to take some space and ground and like detox. And then the last card is that nine of cups. And I like her better in this situation. She's a lot better as an ally in a breakup than as like a contractor on a broken house. That's what I think of the nine of cups she's sitting there. She looks great. She's got a big, fluffy dress on her arms are folded. She's looking right at you. And behind her are nine cups all lined up. And she's like, What? I have all my shit together. All my cups are lined up. I have boundaries. I know what I'm doing. So, you know, it's hard not to see that the leaving would be a really great grounding experience for you. I feel like I just picked another card and it's the four of swords, and I was like, Yes, you need a rest. You need a break from the toxicity of this relationship. If you can't, you know, if your partner is not meeting you halfway and being open to forgiveness, if they're generating toxicity, you can't control that right? But you can take yourself away from that situation, look at your life and figure out how you can make your life a little better for yourself. That's what I'm seeing in the cards. Is that making sense?

Querent: You can? Yeah, it definitely, definitely is making a lot of sense, and it's like, it's also been like something, you know, I've just been back and forth in my mind about it. That's me. Give me some clarity on what I need to do.

Michelle Tea: Let me ask you like if you could stay with your with your partner, do you think there's do you think your partner could embrace 100 percent like in meet you and like to be accountable and show up? Or do you think they're like in some sort of like rut?

Querent: I definitely believe that they're in some sort of right because like all of my effort is just like, it's not enough and it's, you know, so hard to talk to him because when we are, you way more than we ever do every day. And it's just like, Oh, no, we're not understanding anymore.

Michelle Tea: Well, you know, who knows? Maybe I feel like there's more to be revealed in that, you know, leaving spread like their minor arcana cards. I feel like it could be the space you guys need to come back together or not. I feel like it's good either way because you end up grounded and like, secure in yourself. No, and that's that's yeah.

Querent: And I think I appreciate that because like I've been considering like moving in with my parents because they're about to get a house.

Michelle Tea: OK.

Querent: It's going to be far away. So. And he doesn't know this yet.

Michelle Tea: It sounds like if you have the ability to go, go in ground and detox, you should do it.

Querent: Imma do it.

Michelle Tea: OK. Good luck to you. We're rooting for you.

Querent: I appreciate it.

Michelle Tea: Oh, absolutely. You have a good night.

Querent: You too. Thank you.

Michelle Tea: Oh, I have I see a little question now if people want to ask questions about just like the way that Deb and Catwoman did. That's the right way to do it. But I just got this little like tarot process question here in the chat, so I'm going to just respond to it. Curious about your shuffling process? Do you shuffle and then pick from the top? I do, and I always tell people, however you want to shuffle. It's fine. It's fine. You're just shuffling cards, you know, to shuffle. Do you feel like they're shuffle? It's not. Don't don't stress out about it, you know? You know how it is with the tarot people can get real, superstitious. They can. They can get real like a little scared of it, but they're just cards. So I chuckle and three sort of shuffles of three. And that's just my own neurotic thing that I do. Neurotic or ritualistic. You, you be the judge, and then I pick from the top. So yes, that's how I do it and thank you for asking. I'm going to return to these, these questions that came into my Instagram. So here is this one. I'm about to finish up my student teaching and college career. Congratulations. I'm an elementary music teacher and am reportedly amazing at what I do. Huzzah! I have amazing recommendations and observations. My only worry is where I will work once I graduate. I have a nine month old son and a three point five year old stepson. Oh my god, mad props for like accomplishing all this with like a newborn. Basically incredible. I would love to stay by family for my son's sake and also would like to stay close so that my partner is closer, closer to his son. But at the same time, we could technically make things work if we moved across the state. So I guess my question is what would it look like if I stayed here and waited for a position to open up? And what would it look like if I went and accepted something further away first? OK? At some point while I was, you know, pulling cards for this question, I realized that in no place in this question does it say that there is an offer from across the state. So I'm thinking that our beloved quadrant here is like trippin a little bit, which is like, so normal. Like you just are getting out of school and you're like, Oh my God, what am I going to do? But I think that's interesting. I wanted to point that out. So you've got a very clear read. OK, I picked three cards on what does it look like to stay where you are? The first card that came up is the ace. OK, I just want to say the deck I'm using for this is called the collective tarot, and it's a collectively created, queer centric tarot. It's very cool. Different artists did all the different suits, and then all different artists did each of the major arcana. So it's a great it's a great deck. You got the ace of Bones, which translates to the ace of discs, and it's, you know, the ace of discs is all about great opportunity coming for you. Like a portal in the earthly realm for you to step into and start living your best life. So right off the bat, I'm like, That's good. That looks really good. And then the next card number 21 Major Arcana The world, OK, you know, you guys know how I feel about the world slash the universe depending on what deck you use. This is a big karma destiny card for me, and very positive. Always positive. The world is yours. If you stay where you are, it's probably yours no matter what. But for this question, this is where popped up. You got the world. And it's like, yes, huge opportunities. But beyond just the opportunities which I think are, are you see with the ace of bones, you know, you are talking about other things that are really karmic and important, like your child's relationship with your family, your partners ability to be closer to their son and that child's, you know, ability to have their other parent close by. These are really important things, and I think the enormity of them are showing up in this card. The world, then your final card is another bones card. So we're back to thinking about work again. Three of bones in this deck, it's all about like you living your dream job. It's like a big work card and it's like a positive card. It's like your life's work. What is your life's work? Well, I think you're going to figure it out if you haven't already with all your amazing reviews and recommendations. I think you're going to get something right where you are now looking at, you know what, if you guys move across state right off the bat, a really hard card. Five of feathers, which is the five of swords, you know, it translates to the five of swords. They made it even grizzly are in this dark, you know, it's like it's a very grizzly image, actually. But which is not to say that you'll have a grizzly life, but we're getting a clear message from the tarot of No, it's not going to be good for you guys to move across. That said, after that, five of feathers, which is definitely packing a punch. You do get nine bottles, which is nine of cups, which is very sweet, and it's a card that keeps coming up tonight, which is interesting. And you get Ace of Keys, which is Ace of Wands. OK, so you'll figure it out. Like you said, you could technically make things work if you move across and. It seems to me a story like you move and then you see how much harder it is for everybody, and maybe it was a bad idea and you go about fixing some stuff and you do fix it, but I don't know. I just think you don't need to take on that path. That path looks like a hard path, and it looks like you're your beautiful destiny. Path is like right where you are. So. So sit tight and wait for it to show up. OK, who has their hand up in the room? Let's see. Annika, you're up, Annika.

Querent: It's related to my family. It's kind of a couple related questions. So my parents are like my mom has filed for divorce and it's shaping up to be pretty nasty. My father has been lying throughout their whole marriage about the family business. He's harmed her. He's he's verbally and emotionally abusive, and he's harmed a lot of other people as well. So my first question is it's actually more for my mother. You know, she's obviously this is very painful for her, and she's pretty scared about what the future holds, how this process will go and like if she's going to have, you know, financial security and just peace of mind. And so I was just wondering if there's some courage you could pull just, you know what this looks like for her. You know, once this divorce is finally over and I know my mom is kind of safe and away from him, we haven't had a good relationship for a long time either. And he's, you know, he's gaslighted and manipulated me quite a bit as well. But it's not, and it's not really my nature to be like that. Yeah, it's just it's really hard, and I'm just kind of hurting and struggling with that a little bit. And so I'm wondering what it looks like, you know, if I were to cut him off completely or if instead, you know, maybe I keep the relationship, but I just it changes dramatically with boundaries and such. So it's not quite as toxic. And then kind of the final question outside of the divorce, you know, my family is kind of a mess. There's a lot of intergenerational trauma and abuse and just a lot of problems. And I've kind of been unofficially estranged from a lot of my family for several years. And I'm just kind of wondering, you know, maybe I just kind of make that official at this point that that hurts quite a bit as well. But maybe it's just the reality that these people just aren't really meant to be my family or my true family. And so maybe it's just time to really accept that and move forward. You know, if it helps us as far as where my mind is at, I'm Aquarius and a Pisces Moon and satirizing and so I'm kind of sensitive and just, yeah, it's it's hurting quite a bit and just a little overwhelming.

Michelle Tea: You really have my heart on. I could say, I understand. You know what that can be like. The questions that she wants to know about is, you know, firstly, her mom filed divorce from her dad, who is super toxic and doing shady stuff. Really bad stuff. And Anika wants to just see how her mother is going to be, you know, through all of this, she's going to be OK. She also wants to know if she should maybe cut her dad off because he's super toxic. But it's not really how she rolls. So she's wondering, alternatively, can she please, you know, what would it look like if she just, you know, erected some different boundaries? Is there a way to keep some sort of relationship but maybe protect herself from his toxicity? And then finally, she's also kind of estranged from a lot of her family, and it's just been sort of like unofficial, but just how it is. But maybe this is a great time to just be like, you know, hey, all y'all like by, you know, make it a little more official. And you're an Aquarius son. I see that Anika. Me too. I hope that I sort of summarized where you're at. Well, and if I didn't, please feel free to correct me in the comments and I'll look for that. But I picked the cards. So the cards here for your mom? Oh man, they look rough. They do look rough. And I'm sorry to say that. And the centerpiece card on this three card pole is the death card. So I don't want to underestimate like how much grief your mom is going to have about this ending of her marriage. You know, I don't know how old she is, but you know, it's even even women of all generations, you know, in the patriarchal society we live in are raised to put so much of their worth and their aspirations into their marriages. OK. So I think on a really huge level, this is a really this is a big hit for her. I think all, you know, break ups are a little bit like a death, and I think this one's really going to hit her in that way, OK? So she's going to have a ton of grief. She's going to and it might be a little paralyzing, OK? The cards on either side of her, their swords cards, and they're not great ones, two of swords. This woman is sitting blindfolded and she's holding two swords with her arms crossed and she she's just sort of immobilized, OK, and she's kind of immobilized herself. All right. And I'm not like victim blaming here at all. But I think that like your mom probably feels so overwhelmed and maybe a little paralyzed in the face of, like your toxic dad. She probably has so much PTSD from living with this guy. I mean, I can't imagine he suddenly became toxic last month. So I just feel like there's a lot of like PTSD here, and it's paralyzing her a little bit. The card on the other side of it is the eight of swords, another blindfolded person. OK, this person is tied with a rope, so she really can't get get free and there's like a little cage of swords around her. So it's interesting that both of these women in these cards are blindfolded, right? One can put down her swords and walk away. One is bound. OK, so I feel like your mom might really not know where she's where she has power and where she doesn't, where she's free to actually make a move and when where she's not. It looks like it's hard for her. I'm glad that she has you. You might be helpful. I mean, please take care of yourself. Like, I'm not encouraging you to like, take on, you know, to parent your parent or anything like that. But clearly you care so much about her. And I think the things to know about as you are trying to be helpful to her is that she's in a tremendous amount of grief and she just doesn't understand what to do. Like there might even be. I know you're talking about business stuff she just might not even understand, like the bureaucracy of it and and especially through her grief, right? Jasmine, I see you just helped helps out somebody with my Instagram handle. Thank you for that. OK, so cutting cutting your dad off. OK, cutting your dad off looks frickin rat on. OK, OK. If this is, I'm sorry, I really don't want to laugh at like because it's not funny, but it kind of is. If you saw the cards OK, so it's like cutting your dad off is going to give you such a panic attack, and then you're going to be like, Oh, wait, why haven't I done this like a million years ago? And then like, you have a party, you have like, I cut my dad off celebration. That's how good you feel. And this is why I'm saying that the very first card that comes up nine of swords, it's the anxiety card. Oh, this girl sitting up in bed, she's having a nightmare. She can't sleep. That's you. Let's you like in bed being like, Oh God, I cut him off. Like, How could I do such a profound things? Surely there was something else I could have done blah blah feeling honest feelings. Your mind spinning, right? But then you get the world. OK, here we are again with this card, the world. It is your destiny to cut your dad off. OK. And also, and this is very important. It's your dad's destiny to get cut off by his child for being such a crappy husband and father. It's really interesting, right? It's it's it is a there's like a destiny thing going on here and at a glance, your cards for trying to build boundaries with him are not great. I'll go through them with you. But like, this is great. And then your next card. Three of cups. It's literally like these three like gorgeous ladies like cheers ing each other and having a blast. You know you you mentioned, like, you know, chosen family versus you alluded to chosen family versus born family. I think you have a chosen family that wants you to take care of yourself in this way and say bye bye to the toxic dad and they're there to support you. And they're there to like, you know, help you detox all that anxiety that you get flooded with as you kind of walk through such a heavy thing. It starts heavy and it ends with a lot of relief. That's what I think. Now, if you want to go the other route and see if see, if you can get, you know, your dad to obey, I mean, not obey. I mean, the problem with erecting boundaries is then you have to enforce them, right? It's like you can't make him less toxic. You can only try to protect yourself from his toxicity. The very first card you have is the judgment card. So it's like right away, it's like, that is partly you being like, This isn't going to work. I know what's going to work, and I know it's not going to work. Then you have the five of swords, and that's a rough card. It's a card. You know, the name of the card is defeat. And so I'm just seeing that, like, it's not I just don't think it's going to be as easy as you think. And then and then page of Pentacles is your next one, and the page is like, you know, maybe somebody's got a page a little bit ago about like, do I hire this continent or do I hire a contractor? And you get a page and you're like, Oh no, don't the pages, they're just learning. And you know this page of Pentacles, this is really interesting for it to come up in this, you know, should I? Rob Andrews with my toxic dad read, because, you know, the page doesn't know and they're learning, so on the one hand, it could be your dad where he like doesn't even know how to obey a boundary, right? Is he learning? I don't know if he's learning. It could be. You also like this is a heavy lift, right? Like, like having boundaries with this person looks really, really challenging. And like, you might not be up for it. And if you're not, there's no shame in that. You know, like, you shouldn't need to, like, be a gosh darn like psychoanalyst, you know, like warrior to like interface with somebody. It just might be a little bit beyond you to do it. And you know, it might be honestly your saving grace that that is the case. So as far as the rest of your family, what does it look like if you're like you guys? In case you haven't noticed, I don't talk to you guys anymore. It's an interesting card. You know, the first car, the first car. It's an interesting spread. The first card that came up is justice. So in a really big, in a big way, I can see that it would feel like justice to you. It would feel good. Like you got to speak your piece, right? You're making the right decision. I would say it's something that you've, you know, you didn't just spontaneously start talking to these people, you know, you're definitely making a good call. And then on the other side is the four of wands. So that's the third card that comes up, and it's it's a really happy card. It's like stable and great and you're with a friend. And again, it just makes me think that you have support and, you know, people supporting you, which is so important. It's a really great card. But then the one in the middle is the seven of wands, and it's that Rider-Waite seven of wands where somebody is up on top of a mountain and they're like, you know, there's all these sticks coming up at them, like trying to beat them up, but they have the high ground and they're going to be fine. So it's interesting, on the one hand, because the seven of wands is flanked by these positive cards. I'm sort of like, Yeah, sure, start a fight. You know what? You're safe, you know nobody's going to hurt you. You don't really care about what these people think. But on the other hand, I'm like, Do you need to start a fight? Like, I don't know, maybe maybe it would be better to just ghost me. See? Huh? No, you know something. I just I just picked some quick cards, like what does it look like to go see them versus just like be direct and it actually does look better for you to be direct. So yeah, start that fight. You're starting to fight, but you're going to be fine. You're you're on the right side like you're your fight is righteous. And at the end of it, I think there's something that feels complete about it, you know, like you've actually completed something. Woof. Anika, that was a lot of information about some pretty heavy topics. What do you think? How are you feeling?

Querent: Spot on? I think she's been it. She's trust. They've been together for so many decades. She's trusted and been dependent on him for so long. And so, yeah, there's just she's very scared of everything right now and I think, you know, unsure of herself. And so I think that makes a lot of sense. And I it's very I was laughing along with you when you're talking about my dad and I really feel it's my my intuition is telling me to cut him off completely. And I think I'm kind of, you know, I struggle to listen to my intuition, but I think it's the right thing to do. And so, yeah, it's just very reassuring on a lot of fronts. So, yeah, thank you so much.

Michelle Tea: And yeah, so nice of you to care for your mom. My second Casey in the in the chat. It's a big lift, and I hope you're taking care of yourself while you're taking care of other folks, too. I'm going to say bye to you now, Annika. All right, everybody like light a candle on your altar, Veronica. You guys are anyone's tuning in more recently. If you just, you know, opened walked into this room, this is asked the tarot. I read tarot cards for y'all. My name's Michele Te. If you want to hear more past episodes. Go to Spotify. Search for my podcast, Your Magic and you'll find in the feed all the back episodes of Ask the Tarot as well. Here's a little question here. I hate my job currently. What would it look like if I seriously pursued working on my app idea? What would it look like if I took a break from my job and traveled for three months next year? And then there's like a crying face emoji and some hearts, so that seems like somebody really reaching out with a lot of feeling I have for this deck. I'm using the Aquarian Tarot. If anyone wants to see what these decks look like, I'll post pictures of some of the cards on my Instagram later. You know, it's really interesting. It's like, you know, they didn't ask, You know what? But what if I stay at my job and work it out or anything like that? So I didn't pick on that. I only picked on these two ideas, and they both left me a little lacking, which makes me think that, you know, maybe there's another idea or something else. The app idea, it looks like it needs to be refined. OK, the first card that you have is the Queen of Swords, and she's just sort of like, she's very rebellious the queen of Sword. She's really smart. I mean, you probably have a great idea. She's super intellectual. But you know, I'm concerned because the next card is the four of cups, and that is like the sulky, sulky crybaby card. It's like this little pouty pants sitting against a tree. And, you know, he's got three beautiful cups. And there's even like a cup being offered to him from the great beyond. And he's just like, No, I don't like it. So, you know, there's something interesting about that. Four of cups, it's like, you know, with the app idea, it seems like maybe it's not quite the passion project that you think it's going to be. There's something strange about it. Your final card is the lovers. So I think that here's what I think. I think the app is going to be a little harder than you think, and it's going to push you to the point where you are really going to have to be like, I'm either in this, no matter how hard it is or are no like it's like shit or get off the pot. It's the lovers. You know, the lovers want to know you've been proposed to. If you say yes, you're getting married. If you say no, you're probably breaking up, right? So it's like, you know, it's sort of like, come to come to Jesus moment. I think that they're they're called right. So it looks like a little bit of a hard, a hard row, but you also seem like a little bit of a toughie, honestly, with that queen of swords. So you might be able to do it. Just don't expect it to be easy. However, is it easier than traveling for three months? Yeah, that looks rough. Your first card here is the tower. OK. But you know, I'm keeping an open mind, you know, because I know the tower, you know, the tower for traveling for three months. Maybe, you know, you just get your mind super blown and it's a little hard to assimilate your new reality. But it's amazing, right? That's not what this looks like, though. You got the tower, then you got the two of swords. You know you don't want to land in the two assaults from the tower. It's like, again, it's this person who's blindfolded. She's holding these big, heavy swords. She's immobilizing herself a little bit, right? And then the last one is the four of Pentacles. And this is like mad scarcity issues. This person, you know, is holding there, therefore pentacles. And they're like wearing them. They can't let go of their their security, and it just looks like this is not necessarily good for you. This is not necessarily what you need because the app one looks so shaky. Also, I. I just wonder if even though you hate your job currently, maybe, you know, I don't know. Build up more of a nest egg for yourself. Well, she's OK. Just, you know, before you go off and, you know, run around the globe or start start an app, it doesn't look like you're quite in the place really to do either of those things yet. Remember, it's always yet OK. Good luck to you. I'm sorry. You hate your job. OK, let's see who has their hand up here. I think this is Holly, Lee Hall or Holly.

Querent: So last year I met somebody under really remarkable fated circumstances and they live far away. And because we're both non-monogamous, we've been trying to make it work and time together just feels really gorgeous and very special and very necessary. But we have very different relationships to sex and in the in their case, because of addiction and management of addiction they deal with like a lot of control and barriers around their behavior. So I was wondering, you know, if what the cards say about how to manage this difference and and how we express this connection.

Michelle Tea: So I'm going to pick cards looking like what you can do. It's really since you're the one here, it's like, what? What energies are available for you or what you should be thinking about as you sort of try to acclimate. It sounds like to the restrictions and your partner, is that true?

Querent: Yeah. And it's not like zero sex. It's just like less than I would like.

Michelle Tea: Okay, so OK, let's see what the tarot has for you. Oh, wow. Oh my gosh. Well, the very first card here is the tower card, which is quite interesting, right? Because it is that card of lightning from the sky that just knocks everything down. And it sounds like, you know, in a sense, you guys are having this faded connection, you said. And I know that those sorts of, you know, romantic and sexual connections can be so explosive. And so it's very, very interesting. I'm wondering if there is a way that this can turn, I don't know, can can illuminate a little bit your own relationship to sexuality like obviously you know his issues or are there issues are for them? It's not for you to take on and, you know, adopt them. But I do wonder if, because it's the tower and it really is about turning things upside down. You know what? You're learning about your relationship to sex, and if there is places where you could have more insight and if this is a path to that, right, so that's really interesting, then we have the night of Pentacles, which is funny because like, maybe this is maybe this is the person you're talking about your partner, because the night of the night of Pentacles is the only night whose horse is not, like raring to go, right? And again, I know I'm getting a sense of the complicated ness of this person's situation, and I know that there's not no sex, but it seems like they're having to, like you said, control. Right? And so that's sort of what's happening with this night of Pentacles. There's like a deliberate pause, right? A deliberate pause is being taken. And then on the then the final side, it's the ace of Pentacles, which means it's really feeding my feeling here that that there is something transformative for you in this situation. It's probably not something you would have picked, right? But you have it. And there's something electrifying about about your connection and about this person. And I just feel like, you know, the ace of Pentacles is about a whole new cycle of earthly experience. And, you know, sex lives there on some level, like our bodies, you know, live there. I know sex is often like the fire suit, but it's also how we embody our sexuality and what it means to our bodies. So I think that, you know, as far as like what you can do to like, help yourself out while you're trying to adjust to a new situation that's not necessarily your ideal is, you know, really give yourself a lot of credit with that's how hard it really isn't your idea. Like, I don't think this means your life is falling apart like the tower sometimes means, but it is really causing a shift within you. And I would look for like truly the silver lining in the in that it is hard. It is definitely like turning your it's not how you go about relationships. But again, look for the wisdom in there. OK. Your night here is tried and true. They're slow there, slowpoke. They're going to come around. You're probably going to end up getting more than you than you're getting now, but it's just going to take a minute. But it looks like there is truly an interesting path for you guys, if you can. If you can deal with the very real frustration of the tower card, does that make sense?

Querent: It does thank you so much, I appreciate it.

Michelle Tea: Oh, you're very, very welcome. OK, take care. Oh my God. Guys, I mean, I don't know exactly, of course, what the situation is, but I can just imagine because I'm just like such a sex fiend. I just feel like if you if you're not like throwing me against like a a tree within the first five minutes of being on a date with me, like, do you even like me? That's kind of how I feel. For better or worse, and I guess it's probably been for worse. So. So there's a lot to be said for taking it super slow, which sounds like this person is doing OK. Let me see. I got another thing that came into my inbox. See, with this question here is, Oh, this is like, yeah, this is a there's a lot, a lot of fields in this one. I recently had the worst week. Earlier this week, I unfortunately had a miscarriage from my boyfriend. And yesterday I lost my job. Oh my God, that is too much for anybody to have to, you know, have like Bam, bam like that, you know, I really need some guidance in my life. I would like to know if my relationship is the right choice for me. He's been supportive through all this and love him dearly, dearly. Just past experiences have left me scarred and scared and career wise. I don't know if I should continue in health care. Kind of getting burnt out? I bet. Or try a new path. Not sure how to start, but I would love to get into the Weepies somehow. Thank you so much. OK, so let me just say for this reading. I'm using a really gorgeous deck called the alchemical tarot. Really, really beautiful images inspired by alchemy. So yeah, for your for your boyfriend, like, I really think he's your man, OK? I really do. I can see that you have a hard time trusting him. You got the Moon card. I mean, who trust anyone? When the Moon card comes up, there might be something in your dynamics that make it hard also to trust him. Which is not to say that he's untrustworthy. I don't think that's true, but there just might be like a communication style or, you know, just something that doesn't do the best job of reassuring you. Not that it's necessarily his job, too, but I just see that there might be a little bit of a dynamic. But then your next card is the lovers, and it's followed by the emperor. OK, which I'm just like, Oh my God, he's your man. He's your man is your emperor. I think that's really great. And that lover's card. You know, again, when the lovers card comes up, we're being asked to commit. And so in a sense, like you need to commit to the idea of him as the right choice for you, right or not or you need to walk away. That's what I would say. And I think the tarot is definitely saying, you know, I think he is the right choice. The emperor is a beautiful emperor in this deck. You know, he's not toxic. He's just like this really lovely ideal of masculinity. You know, he's got an eagle is holding an eagle. You know who doesn't love a dude with an eagle? So. So yeah, that's he's your man. And now let's see. Health care, OK? All of your work situation stuff are mixed bags, right? And who is not? These days it does look like you are burnt out. You're burnt out with health care. The very first card here is this like it's nine of wands. And in this deck, the illustration is this wolf who's like in the center of a fire. Oh, can you imagine what that feels like? Like everything's on fire all around. You probably feels like being a health care worker, you know, at this point in the pandemic, I bet. But, you know, with all like love and validation for the immense stress, the next one you have is the magician. Like, you're able to actually make magic in this realm. And it's so interesting. I interviewed a nurse today for the Year Magic podcast. It'll be on a future episode. And he's a witch and a nurse that was just talking about the magic and the witchcraft of nursing and how all nurses are kind of witches. And I just loved it. And so I don't know. It's interesting that you're getting the magician about your role in health care, OK? And then your final card lady of vessels. It's a beautiful like. I bet that like you have so much compassion that you're able to share. It seems like you're probably very good at your job, but just very, very stressed out. Is this stress going to pass naturally, right? Probably. Probably some things you can do in the meantime to help yourself be less stressed out. Yes, I just pick the Sun card. There are things you can do if you want, if you want to stay, if you if you're like, Wow, it's true. I am making some sort of magic in my work, and my work is really meaningful for getting the hell out there. Well, there's good reasons to get the hell out your first card for getting out. The lady of coins making more money, you know? For sure, I don't. Yeah, I don't know how much you're making in health care. I know there's a range, but it looks like, you know, you could maybe make more if you bought out and then you have the empress. And I think that there is, you know, the empress is like, relaxed. She's chill, she's gotten this card in this deck, she has a baby, she's got a little kid. She's just sort of like the ultimate stay at home mom. It's kind of funny, but like in a chill fantasy, you know, version of a stay at home mom. Well, I think it's saying, is it like, yeah, you want and you want that fantasy, right? You want your life to be a little bit more relaxing. And like, you know that that compassionate, lovely energy that you give to the people that you work with and you know, patients, people you help, you want to give that to yourself. But here's the thing. Then you get the aid of swords and it's, you know, the ADA swords in this deck is so wild. It's like this really creepy like beast that's like red with like a human face and horns. It's really wild. And he's walking. He's walking by a bunch of swords. There's just something a little scary, maybe to you about about, you know, giving in to what you really want. I have to ask, like, do you want to just like, commit, commit to the to your emperor or man and become the empress and just like quit work and be be a stay at home mom? Oh my god. Look, the like the queer. The Queretaro show is just encouraging women to leave their jobs and become stay at home moms. I'm sorry, I'm just reading what I see here in the in the Tero. It just looks like it's something you might want, but you might be scared of it. So investigate that if it's true weed, the world of weed, let me look at that. The world of weed looks rough. OK, it's don't idealize it. It looks a little hard to. The middle card is like literally a dog eating a dog. OK, it's like a dog eat dog industry. That said, there's a way in for you. You just need to find it. There's the three of the three of vessels in this jacket. Again, it's those celebrating three graces, you know? And then there's the ace of vessels. So there is a path for you here, but it looks really hard to figure it out. I got to say, looking at all, I would say either either be a stay at home mom, have a baby or go back to, you know, try try to see if you can't re inspire yourself toward your health care work because it does look like you do a tremendous amount of good there. And I think that there is a way that that's very gratifying to you, even if that feels a little out of reach right now, which it really may. OK? Oh my God, you guys, can you even believe me? It's six fifty seven. Soon I'm going to. I'm going to put my kid to bed so I can go meet my sister at the mall and have like a beverage and hang out. That's what I'm doing. But first, I want to read one of your cards. Let me get in here. Who's got their hand up, Brianna? Brianna, you are on. Hello.

Querent: How are you?

Michelle Tea: I'm good. How are you doing, Brianna?

Querent: I'm doing so good. OK. I had a I had a great idea. OK, so for your magic, I was thinking about like, guess you could have? OK, I don't know. Have you ever heard of the band caught in this moment in this moment?

Michelle Tea: No, I don't know them.

Querent: OK, so like, they're a heavy metal band, but like the frontwoman, her name is Maria Brink Blake. She's like, really magical. And I think that you would have a lot of fun.

Michelle Tea: I appreciate that. I'll look into it. We're always looking for more guests. I personally over the Moon right now because I just finished watching School of Chocolate on Netflix. It's like a competitive chocolate reality show. Jasmine, thank you for loving this. It is pretty funny. And I just watched the final episode and this, like my favorite person on the show, Juan won. And then I just like, messaged him and I was like, Will you be on my podcast? And he said, yes. So if any of you are fans of School of Chocolate? Juan is going to be on your magic podcast. Oh my gosh, I've seen that show. And like the head chef, like, he's really he's really hot. He's something. He is something. I mean, he's a French man. He's like a white, cis French man like, who like, makes chocolate. He's like, he's got his thing down. You know, he's definitely sexy. Well, Brianna, do you have a question for the tarot?

Querent: I do. I do. As always, I'm always an anxious mess. But so a new semester starting next week for school and last semester was like it was rough. But like, I survived. And I just want to know, like, what is this semester going to look like?

Michelle Tea: OK, let's see. What is the vibe of this semester? You are a survivor. Oh my god, this is going to be a great semester for you, Brianna. The very first card you have here is the strength card. Like just as I'm just like, You're a survivor. It's like, Yeah, you really are. It's like this gorgeous woman, like chilling with a lion. They're all wearing roses. I mean, you know, that's really about like having like the the wherewithal to overcome some of our more like childish impulses, you know? So like, you know, the impulse to just be like, Fuck it, it's hard. No, it's like. Your strut, your inner strength is like, no, like I can do this with grace, I can do this, you know, so you have that beautiful strength card. And then right after that is the three of cups. And I love it. The three of cups keeps coming up. It's really about friendship and love and support. Do you have support you? Do you have like a support network around like helping you now just like have the strength to kind of like make it through school? Yeah, I started hanging out with my cohort a lot more. And yeah, they're definitely very supportive. So I have some system to help. That is good. Hanging out with your cohort is definitely going to be a good thing for you this semester. The three of cups it's like you want to like, have that experience of like making some friends like let yourself open up to them and trust that they're good people. You know, it's like, Yeah, I get get that sort of like emotional fulfillment. I'm with them, you know, like, see if like, I don't know, like, this is a real kind of partying card. And so it's like, but like deep partying, you know, not just like it's not just like a a wild festival here. It's like these. These women in this car that I'm looking at really care about each other and they're enjoying each other. So see if you can't find some, you know, people whose company you really enjoy and then your final card is the world. It's like, Yes, Brianna, this is your path. Like, This is what you're supposed to be doing, like you're going to get through it. School is really hard. It's it's it's hard on some level, I think for everyone and everyone has different sort of like situations that make certain elements of it more or less challenging, but like this is your path to really see it through. And I think you're going to feel that much more strongly, maybe this semester than you did last semester.

Querent: Awesome. Thank you so much.

Michelle Tea: You're welcome. I'm so happy to, you know, see those cards come up for you.

Querent: Thank you so much and have fun.

Michelle Tea: Thank you. I'm going to. I love them all. I'm totally a all goth. So you guys, I think I've talked about this before. You're magic. We have a Patreon. And if you sign on, you get extra bonus content and it just helps us make the podcast like all the other moneys go to, like the producers and all the people that everyone is just working their butts off. But here's what you get. I do this thing once a month called that new moon or moon cycle tour astrology, where basically I look at when the when the new moon happens and I look at the full moon and I think about everyone's astrological sign and I pick three cards for every sign that sort of tell the story of what this moon cycle is going to be like. So like, what's happening for you on the new Moon? How does it progress to the full moon? And then like, how do you integrate it in the weeks that followed the full moon? So that's going to be coming up for the new Moon in Aquarius? And also, I do these tarot workshops. So this Monday, the 17th, I'm going to be doing a deep dove into the magician. Just get really, really into like what is up with the magician? What is the energy? What's the law? What's the history? I come up with a new tarot spread that sort of invokes the magician, as well as tips on how to invoke the magician, you know, through magic with spells and altars and stuff like that. So I want to let you guys know about it because I know you're all tarot fans. And regardless, I'll be back here next Thursday. Six p.m. Pacific 9:00 Eastern Picking tarot cards. I really appreciate you all so much for being here and and being so supportive to one another. It makes my heart very happy. So enjoy the rest of your evening.

[Music]

Michelle Tea: Hi, friends. Remember to catch Ask the Tarot Live every Thursday at 9:00 p.m. Eastern on Spotify Green Room. Join me for a journey through the cycles of life, love and aspiration in real time. Just download the Spotify Green Room app, sign up for free or use your Spotify login to join the conversation. You'll be able to hear live readings, meet super interesting people and even ask questions of your own. Download Spotify Green Room for free today and join Ask the Tarot Live every Thursday.

[Music]