Ask the Tarot: What Are My Ancestors Trying to Tell Me?

This is a recording of our Spotify Live show from July 14, 2022. Tune in on Spotify every Thursday at 6 PM PT/9 PM ET to catch Michelle Tea’s tarot readings. Or listen on the Spotify Live app where you can join the chat — you’ll even have a chance to ask the tarot what’s on your mind.

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This transcript is AI-generated and may not be 100% perfect. If you notice something wrong, just email hello@thisisyourmagic.com

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Michelle Tea: Hey, everyone. So thank you so much for tuning in. I am wondering, did you know that you can now join ask the Tarot every Thursday at 9 p.m. Eastern live on Spotify. That's right, lies. But we all know the best part of tarot isn't just listening. It's getting your own cards read. Have a question about your future or your past, maybe about your love life or your career. I want to hear from you. All you have to do is download the Spotify Live app in your app store or click the link in our episode descriptions to sign up for free. Then follow ask the tarot in the Spotify Live app to get notified every time I go live and hear what the tarot has in store. Why miss out on that?

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Michelle Tea: Hey, everybody, it's Michelle Tea, your host, host of Ask the Tarot, author of Modern Tarot and host of the Your Magic podcast. Hi, everybody. Hi. You know, dear friends who come every week who make me so happy to see you guys popping up in the chat. Hello to all the newcomers. However you found out about this room from for Morbid from Two Girls One Ghost. Now, I was just on A Day in the Life the other day, and that was super fun and that was a really, really sweet vibe. So hello to, you know, new friends and old silver and gold. I'm so glad you guys are here. For those who are wondering what the hell is going on, you are in the ask the terror room. And that's what we do. We ask questions of the tarot, rather. You can I read cards for folks? If you have a question that you think the tarot can help with, just raise your hand. I'll get to as many of you as I can. Another way to do it is you can find me on Instagram. My handle is @michelleteaz T-E-A-Z. Okay. And you can, you know, just send me your question right there and, you know, get to it on a future episode. Right. I will check that tonight, but I will check it. And I love those. I love reading everything that comes in super poignant and interesting and heartfelt and enrage and all the feelings I get, all the feelings, reading, reading everybody's problems. Let me see what we have here. What if you don't have Instagram? What's another way to communicate? I see. I see that from you. Catherine and I have so much respect from people who aren't on all of these social media platforms. But unfortunately, I don't know how else you can reach me except raise your hand here and take your chances right here in the room. Okay. I'm going to start. I'm I got the questions that came in that I'm going to read. I'm doing a bunch of like I've lost my best friend kind of situations like friend drama. Okay. So here's the first one.

'I have not been myself for the past five years since my best friend and I of ten years went separate ways. We were in a band together with two other girls touring all over the country, and we were more like sisters than we were friends. When I started cosmetology school and had thoughts of maybe leaving the band, they made the decision for me before I even had the chance to make up my mind. One day in class, I went on Facebook and saw this post. Quote, "We are calling it our last show. P.S. We will be back, but you may not recognize us". At the time I thought they were doing me a favor, but later on I couldn't avoid the betrayal, grief and anger. They started a new band without saying it to my face and my sister had not spoken to me direct about it." Ah, this is terrible, you guys. This is like, God, what a betrayal. I mean, bands are tight, bands are families. This is a really big deal. Okay. "I decided to ghost her due to my Cancer rising nature." This is very interesting to me. I didn't know that Cancers were ghosters. I thought that was like strictly Gemini, you know? I mean, we can all be a ghosters. Right? We all can. We know it. But I didn't know that it was so particular to cancer. But it makes sense. Maybe Gemini cuts, says Jasmine. Very, very interesting. Okay. "So anyway, she turned into this egomaniac who's all about her image, unrecognizable to me. When I confronted her a few years back, she was very callous and phony. For context, she's an Aquarius Sun and I'm a Leo Sun." Interesting. And opposites are compliments, you know. Okay, "I was hurt and shocked, but I kept on. My partner and I are moving from Detroit to Marquette, Michigan in the fall and I'm ready for a fresh start with new people and things to do. But I can't help but feel I still need closure. This is someone I always imagined being in my life. Even though I've tried to make peace with the situation, it's still hard. We share the same friends and everywhere I look, I'm reminded of her. What does the tarot have to say? Should I try one last time to seek closure or just let her be and move on?".

So this is really interesting, you guys. It made me think a lot about the idea of closure, especially because hold on, I'm going to crack open a Lacroix man. I should get like a sponsorship from Lacroix for how often I mention them. Lacroix If you're listening, give me some cash. Okay, hold on. Or at least like a case of like. Pablo's, you know what I mean? Anyway, I see Jasmine saying I feel like everyone deserves closure. Sure. Like, I'm not going to argue with that. But I was really thinking about it because I have a friend that is like going through a breakup and also wants closure and said it said it to their their therapist and their therapist was like, why? You know, you're broken up. And like, it was so blunt coming from a therapist, I was sort of shocked and like a little bit admiring. I was like, Who is this wacky therapist? Like, this is a new way of thinking about it. And so thinking about it, I think that when and I'm somebody who, like, does not, you know, I see Fernando here sometimes closure equals no closure. Yeah, totally. It's really true, because I think that when we want closure, when we say we want closure, what we really want is justice. We want an immense or we want accountability. We want that person to show up and be like, Yeah, I was a dick, right? You want that person to show up and is just like take some responsibility. So that gnawing feeling of, like, somebody did me wrong and like got away with it, that gnawing feeling goes away. But what happens if you you sit down for a so-called closure and the person's like, whatever. I stand by what I did. Carry on. Have a great life. Like, how does that how is that any different? Right. So I'm really thinking about that how a lot of times when we say we want closure, we want we want amends, right? Amends and accountability. So but whatever I have, my little philosophical moment is done. I did pick cards, of course, as I was asked to do. That is my job after. All. Right.

So I picked cards from this great deck called Servant Fire. It's very it's a little bit like the lame little Egyptian little feminist. It's very pretty and groovy psychedelic. I recommend it. So I said, you know, what does it look like to seek closure? Okay. So queen of cups, you know, the queen of Cups is very emotional and she's leading with her emotions and she wants to get a handle on her emotions. Her emotions can sometimes overwhelm her. So I'm thinking like, is this the parent, you know, still feeling all these feelings and being like, I want to get some mastery over this nagging need for closure, right? Or is the Queen of cups the other right the best friend? Is it this person who seems to hold all the emotional cards right that our queen is looking at? The second card is the ten of cups. Now, you know, different different decks have different reads on that. In this one, it looks very beautiful. It's like this lady, naked lady who's like pregnant with some sort of mystical orb hanging out by the beach. Looks like, I don't know. She was just, like, impregnated with, like, good vibes. So it's a very nice card. And I'm seeing that like, you know, a ten is closure, right? And this it looks like there is some emotional closure that's possible for you. But I'm concerned also because the very last card is the ten of wands. And we know the ten of wands is stress and burden. Right. It's that card that's like, why did I think I wanted this? Like, that is that's the quote of the ten of 1% of wands is why did I think that I wanted this? So I think that it's a bit of a mixed bag. I think the emotions are probably a little high with that queen of cups. I think with the ten of cups, there is genuine affection between both of you and maybe even some genuine regret. But I do think that, like, I think that this friend of yours might just kind of want to defend her turf a little bit, and you might get a little bit of that, like, sorry, not sorry. You know what I mean? And so I don't know that you're going to you'll get a little bit, but you're not going to get all of it. And it might end up feeling a little not worth it. You know, as an Aquarius, I have I really I hope that I have a little. Insight into the callous phony Aquarius says, you know, Aquarius is are the work I look like like a shadow, like a dark side of Aquarius is the worst because we really think that we are so like egoless and mystical and like, we really think that we're like, just like operating on a higher plane with higher vibes. And, you know, that's a lot of delusion, like, like a shot at, like a shadow side, and Aquarius is hella delusional. I see beta always complaining about Aquarius is. Well, yeah, yeah, I see that. I don't know if you guys heard that, but my clock just went my alarm just went off on my phone to tell me to register my child for camp tomorrow. Hashtag mob life. Okay, so the three cards I picked for, like, carrying on about with your life and knowing that, like, you can give yourself closure. Like, you can let go and move on in time will help with that, right? But like, if what you really want is this person to sit down and take accountability, that's a different ask, right? So what does it look like for you just to move on? Queen of Pentacles. I like that. I like that a lot. Versus Queen of cups, right? Queen of cups is like, really, you know, cups is emotion. Queens are emotion. It can be a little muddy and murky. But queen of pentacles, you know, pentacles is earth. Queen is water. And you grow, right? You're watering the ground. You're refreshing yourself, you're growing, you're grounded. I like it. And then you have the. Knight of Cups. So, you know, you do have that cancer. Rising Night of Cubs is a cancer card. You know, there is still you might always not know. I to say you might always. I think that the Knight of Cups is a little nostalgic and can kind of hold on to to sentimentality a little bit. I think it's probably extra hard for you because, you know, you have you didn't just lose a friend. But like now all of your memories of being in the band are kind of tarnished because, like, the whole situation left a bad taste in your mouth and that that was really, really hurt. So I'm hoping with that Knight of Cups, part of part of the the closure you can give yourself is also just like owning owning that experience that it was worthwhile for you, that you had a lot to offer, that you were you were a solid part of what was happening. And then your final card for moving on and not talking to your ex friend is the Empress. Okay. Which, in this deck I have to share, is represented by Elizabeth Taylor as Cleopatra is so funny. It's really beautiful card, though. So the Empress is like love itself. Love is taking the higher path. And in this sense, in this situation, that higher path isn't necessarily like eating shit and talking to this person who's like, check it out. Right? It's about letting go and realizing that person doesn't have the insight or the capacity to be accountable and to give you the real closure you really want. But you can give it to yourself. And you have such love in your life, right? You have a partner, you have a fresh start. You have all the musical talent you have, like whatever, you know, talents and interest brought you into cosmetology school. I think that that you're just doing great and you do have to integrate what happened to you so that you can get back and reclaim those memories of being in that band. But you don't need you don't need that that so-called so-called friend to do it. Carry on. Good luck to you.

All right, let's get in here. Let's get in here. I love that this conversation in the in the chat is all about closure. And Aquarius is two things I'm really interested in, you know, so Danielle says there just is no closure sometimes and you have to turn your back on someone anyway. That's that's true. And then she says lol. I get it. I get I like your dark humor. Danielle is my favorite as well. Okay. Let's see who's in the room again. This is ask the tarot and if you would like tarot reading, just raise your hand. I'll try to, you know, get to as many folks as I can. We do this every Thursday, 6:00 Pacific time, 9:00 Eastern time. And, you know, if you're listening on Spotify right now and you're like, dang, I want to participate, that chat sounds like it's bumpin. It is. So just go over to Spotify. Spotify live and come over and join the party. Okay. Let's see what we've got going on here. Sarah, you are up.

Querent: Hello.

Michelle Tea: Hi. How are you?

Querent: I'm doing okay. Rocking and rolling with the day.

Michelle Tea: Okay. Yeah. I mean, sometimes that's all we can do, you know, is rock and roll with it as much as possible. How can the tarot help?

Querent: So I am curious about I don't know. This is honestly my first time on the Spotify live. I heard you with the podcast and then decided to jump over here today. I have been my whole life. I have had visitations by a male ancestor, I guess you could call him. I have not been able to determine via the things that I've been shown and stories I've told to my mother and aunts and their cousins. Whether or not it's my grandfather or it's my great grandfather or could actually possibly, possibly be my great uncle. The thing is, all three of them looked a lot alike. They were all tall, thin, bald. They had very similar demeanors. My great uncle and I share the same birthday, and both my grandfather and my great grandfather died long before I was born. But I know things that there was no way for me to know them. And one example being I, you used to do this thing in my dreams where he would hold out his finger and ask me to pull his finger and would and he would actually crow like a rooster.

Michelle Tea: Oh, my God. My grandfather did that and farted. Yours had a lo more class. Well done.

Querent: And so it was something that my great grandfather did with all of my mother's generation. And. But there are things that make me think that it's my grandfather. And I guess I'm just curious if there's any insights that the tarot can give me on that and then if there's any message that that person may have. As for me.

Michelle Tea: All right. I love this question. Let's see. Okay. Do you know the astrological signs? Yeah.

Querent: Yeah. So. Oh, so let me tell you. Mine, too. So I'm a Virgo Sun. Aquarius moon. Scorpio Rising. My grandfather was a Capricorn Sun and a Virgo Moon. Which here's the other thing about him too. Astrologically. His moon and his Jupiter. Exact conjunct with my sun. Yeah. And that's my grandfather. And then my great grandfather. I actually don't know his. I haven't followed his chart but. Yeah. And like I said, my, my great uncle and I have the same birthday. I don't know what his moon sign is, but I know he's also a Virgo. Okay.

Michelle Tea: Okay, cool. All right, so here's I'm going to do I'm shopping first to get hit on your grandfather, your Capricorn grandfather. I love that you see that you both have the same aspect in your chart. I really think that astrology is passed down through families. I know that sounds so cuckoo, but like, even just knowing like the way that like planets in signs repeat and I've never looked deep enough to see like you know if other people you know, do I share aspects but like that's next level. That's very cool. Oh.

Querent: Yeah. You know, I've actually I've been studying astrology pretty intensely for the past year and a half, and there's a lot of stuff that's popped up. And this is one of those ones that I've been very curious about. The other one is I have many heavy hits on either my Chiron or my Saturn by the people closest to me as luminaries or vice versa. My luminaries hit their Chiron or their Saturn. So it's it's I agree with you 100%. I'm on the same board.

Michelle Tea: Oh, my God. That's so cool. Where would you recommend how how are you studying? Astrology. I'm always curious when people get their knowledge.

Querent: Yeah. So, I mean, I kind of, you know, I started with the book, I'm about to be 38 and I started with the Temple of Curiosities when I was 13 and found the birthday book and all Linda Goodwin stuff, but then kind of departed from that some because society and growing up and things dissuaded me in other directions and then kind of re found it a lot more intensely through the pandemic. I honestly the thing that got me diving in deeply was Aliza Kelly and I know she does a lot of celebrity stuff, but her I really resonate with a lot of her interpretations and her books. And then from there I just my all of my Virgo placements because I also have Mercury and M.C. and best of all, hanging out in Virgo are just like information, information, information. So then I go into research mode and I'm pretty good at flushing through stuff that I find and finding good books and good resources and telling what's best and what's not, what is what, so to speak, the snake oil salesman version of astrology and what's the real stuff, and people that are actually investing in the interpretive practice.

Michelle Tea: That is so cool. Thank you so much for that little head of all of that for us. That's so awesome. Okay. So listen, I picked some cards from the thoth deck and I flipped them. So I picked three cards on your grandfather. And honestly, to me, this feels the strongest is the princess of cups. And she's making an offering, right? She is offering something. She's sort of flying through the sky to the ocean and making this beautiful offering of like a turtle and a giant shell. And there's a swan and fish and a lotus and her like caftan as a snowflake, I mean, it's it's really about making a powerful emotional offering. And then the next one is the Herefords. And I really wanted to see the hair a bit for this ancestor. Question, You know, because I feel like in the work that we're all doing sort of collectively to reinterpret the hair event and bring it a little bit away from the pope and this extreme patriarchy and really be more about some sort of like tradition of knowledge. I mean, like ancestral knowledge is sort of such a such a tradition of knowledge. And so I wanted to see it. And it's an Earth sign. It's not Capricorn. I was hoping for a card that resonated with the astrological sign, but since we don't know all three of their signs, it's okay. And then the last part. But but I also feel like that's very solid in the hair if it wants to pass on wisdom. Right and is a grandfatherly figure. So very interesting. And then the adjustment card. So to me Japan is I like that and the adjustment card is all about like getting that balance right to be able to transmit harmony right. And you know, so yeah, I like that. Now for your new great grandfather, the tower indolence and prudence. Now those bad cards just mean they're just a no, that's all in a in a reading like this you know. So he doesn't do that about about anything but just means it's a no. So I'm taking that off. For your great uncle. The cards are weirdly a little similar to the cards for your grandfather. Which makes me wonder, is your great grandfather, your great uncle in your group? No, no. They they lived they shared the earth at the same time. Right. I'm like, is this person or are they reincarnated?

Querent: They were bookends, though. They were the old my grandfather was the oldest, and my great uncle was the youngest of the four brothers.

Michelle Tea: Not possible. Is it possible that it's both of them? It could be. I mean, this one looks pretty good. It doesn't look as strong as your grandfather. I tried to put my money on when I put it on your grandfather. But they're so similar, you know, with your grandfather, you got the princess of cups, this beautiful, you know, watery emotion figure making an offering. And then for your great uncle, you get the knight of cups, another, you know, watery fig. You're making an offering, holding out a chalice with the crab rising out of it for your for your grandfather. You got the hair like a solid tourist or card. And then for your great uncle, you've got the Prince of Discs, the minor arcana or Earth tourist card. Right. And then for the last card you got for your grandfather, you got adjustment the age of arcana and for your great uncle, you got the chariot. So it's really interesting. You know, I do think that if if it's not your grandfather, it's not your great uncle. I think your great uncle wants to talk to you. He's got some message for you. What are the messages here? What what are some takeaways that can be communicated through the tarot right. For you? And you got a really interesting three cards for that. The centerpiece card, which I think is the most powerful message, is the Empress, which is you are loved, right? You are loved. Love is all you are the Empress, right? Like you are love. Love is it's all it's all about love. So that's a big message. And then on either side, you got the seven of of disks, which in this, you know, tradition, the top tradition, it's called failure. But we'll get into that. And then you've got the Prince of Cups. So the failure card is really interesting and it is about the seven of disks just basically the story is like, you know, nature wants to grow, right? The Earth element wants to always be growing, sprouting, blooming in this cart. There's just a pause. So it's not it's not nothing's happening yet. And in that pause, anxiety grows. Okay.

Querent: You're just hitting some really some points.

Michelle Tea: I'm really glad to hear that. Really glad to hear that. So, yeah. So it's like they just want you to know he or they want you to know that, like, you can take a breath like it doesn't, you know, you can trust. Like, you don't need to have the proof all the time, right? Sometimes the proof just isn't available. It hasn't, it hasn't manifested yet. But like, you can just kind of take that breath, relax into that empress energy that like you're cared for. Like you are the Empress. The Empress is you all is love. You are you're cared for. And then along the lines of that, with the Prince of Cups, you know, the Prince of Cups is on this big, you know, magical bird that can take him sky high or can take him super deep into the water, but he doesn't know which way to go. He's stressing out. He's overthinking it. And he's not he's not going anywhere. So, you know, to be super crass, the prince of cups is a little bit of a shit or get off the pot card like your grandfather. And I mean, again, you have a class of your grandfather than my grandfather would be saying should get off the mic.

Querent: No, he would he would say something like that.

Michelle Tea: And look at what he wants you to make a choice and commit to something and go for it, you know, go for it, knowing that you always you have this like almost like psychic safety net, right, of the Empress. Like you will be caught. You can take chances in this life. They want you to. They've got your back.

Querent: Oh, man. Thank you so much. Yeah, that's it.

Michelle Tea: Welcome. I don't get asked questions that often, and I just really enjoy doing that. So thank you for that.

Querent: Thank you. Thank you for your wisdom and thank you to everyone. And no, they were not twins. But yeah.

Michelle Tea: This is like so cool to hear everybody in the chat like freaking out about this. Thank you for this question, Sarah.

Querent: All right. Thank you so much. Take care. You take care. Bye bye bye.

Michelle Tea: I had a witch who I really love and respect. Tell me once during an energy reading that I didn't have any ancestors around me. They just bailed on me, those bastards. So I'd like to think, though, that I have ancestors who were not necessarily, you know, biologically linked to me. Right. But maybe, you know, we have ancestors, you know, instead of or in addition to our DNA relatives, maybe we have like our chosen family ancestors. So I really like thinking about, you know, what weird ass libertine, you know, lady writers. Did I descend from or queers, right. Or I don't know, just like weird, slutty people. I don't know, you know? Who is it? Who? Who are my ancestors? Chosen family. Ancestors of the best. And I really like making altars for them. So. So. Yeah, it's just something else to think about. Let's see who else is out here. Okay, Treasurer, you are up. Hello. How can I help you?

Querent: Hey. Hi. Yes, I just want to also say, get a vibe, check us. So I get my cards, read. I'm having a decision about school. I don't know what I should do about college.

Michelle Tea: What are your options? What are your options?

Querent: So I currently go to the two year junior college and I missed the first year, but then I kind of left because I wasn't staying focused, I wasn't interested no more, and so I kind of stopped. But it's not working. But I do want to go back because I do want to further my career. Dan Rather being a me too. So I just don't know what to do.

Michelle Tea: Okay, so, so it's basically like, do I go back to school right now or don't I?

Querent: Yeah. I mean, like a vibe check about, like, my life again.

Michelle Tea: Okay, so let's see. School. Do I return to school? Is now a good time to jump on that? Um, let's pick cards for that versus do I just wait and do retail for a minute. You just went to retail and like it's not necessarily a no forever on school but maybe like now's not the time for that but other things are happening and then like what are some dormant energies that are up for you right now that the tarot wants you to be thinking about? All right. So for school, for right now, you might not. Let me see. Let me see. It's not the right time for school for you treasure. You're not it's like you don't have you don't have your all to give to it right now. Does that sound right?

Querent: Yeah, it is. It is. Yeah. Think about it. I just I do want to do like I want to be in dentistry, so I do want to do that. But I'm not in the mood to do. I want to know, right?

Michelle Tea: Yeah. I mean, the three cards you had for doing it now first card is the lovers. And that means, like, you have to make a choice, right? Make a choice. And then the next part is the rate of cops. It's about neglect, right? It's like it's just it's not it's not coming together. And then you got the princess of disks who has really been through something and has something to offer. But, you know, those are weird cards together, you know, and it just says it like it's just not the right time. Like, your heart's not in it right now, but then for for continuing your life as is without school during the chill you got great cards is there is there some sort of like an opportunity coming to you through work? You got the ace of disks.

Querent: I am a lead right now. I just started. I don't know. They're trying to move me up higher or give me more authority, but I am a lead and my job is.

Michelle Tea: Really, really great. And yeah, I wouldn't be surprised if that does lead you to more things as a just as a new, you know, new opportunities, a new cycle in the Earth realm, which, you know, our jobs are are covered by the Earth realm. But then the second card you have is the sun. And so that's just like yes, like this is what you're supposed to be doing right now. Exactly what you're doing. You're meant to be doing that for for body, mind, spirit. Who knows why? Who knows who you'll need, you know, experiences you'll get. This is where you're at. And then you've got the Princess of Cups, which she's lovely. She's just like giving of herself. Like, is this a job that you enjoy? The retail job?

Querent: Yeah, something different. Like, I'll have to explain away something different agenda for. Yeah, yeah.

Michelle Tea: I love that. It looks like you're really able to like open yourself up to it and so that is cool. And then for a vibe check. The three cards I put picked for you are the two of swords, which is called Peace, the two of wands, which is called Dominion and the seven of wands which is called valor. So those those two twos that you have or nice the peace card, it's sort of like, you know, I don't know, like you can relax your mind about like anything. Like if you were especially if you've been a little haunted mentally, like should I go back to school? Is this okay? What am I doing? Like, it's okay to let your mind relax and be like, this is what I'm doing right now. I don't have to keep thinking about it. I don't have to torture myself. And then that two of wands, the future that you want is so great. And like, I'm going after what I want. It's all about what you want. It's not what other people want for you. It's not what you feel like maybe you should do. It's really like, What do you want to do right now? And don't be afraid to throw some elbows to get to it. You know, it's Mars in Aries and it's like really like go for whatever it may be. You have the seven of wants to that is also saying that, you know, while you're doing all of this, you might want to rest a little bit, too. The seven of wands is a little it's a little exhausted. It's like, wow, I've been doing this for a while. I don't know if I can keep doing this. So that's a funny note to get with all of these other cards that are so positive. So I'm one. Is there one area of your life right now that you feel a little fatigued about? Is there a person, a place or a thing that is sort of demanding from you a little more than you feel capable of giving right now?

Querent: Yeah, there is a person and I was like, yeah.

Michelle Tea: I made some changes with that person. You know, make some boundaries, make some new boundaries, do something different. The three cars I just picked for, like, what should you do about that person? Ace of Swords. Something new. Think about it in a different way. The. Try something different. Try handling this person or behaving or making. You know, we can't control other people. We control ourselves like you tried doing something you haven't done before. And then the change card, like, yeah, the energy around this person needs to be changed. Not for sure, because everything else looks really great. So. So, yeah, but this other person just looks like they're stressing you out a little bit.

Querent: Yes. This is a good read, though. I love. Love. I'm smiling.

Michelle Tea: All right. Well, enjoy the move up the ladder at your job, Treasurer.

Querent: All right. Thanks, guys.

Michelle Tea: Bye bye. All right. That was great. Yes. Mars and areas explosive new beginnings, says Danielle. And that is so true. I really like that card. I really like how much it really encourages you to, like, do it. You know what I mean? Just go for it. Okay. So here's our next friend from okay. I recently went through. Okay. So, yeah, 'I recently went through a friendship breakup with my best friend of five years. We were college roommates and she was the person who I felt closest to in my life. The breakup itself was initiated by her and it took me by complete surprise. My friend said she was feeling angry and resentful but wouldn't tell me why.' Oh my god. I just like screamed into the void on your behalf. Querent when I read that like that is just awful. Okay, 'she said I did nothing wrong but that due to her bad boundaries, she created a dynamic between us that wasn't sustainable for her'. Okay. 'She said she was feeling extremely burnt out and was struggling to show up at all. I asked to talk over the phone or meet in person, but she would only speak over text. So I tried to explain my emotions confusion, anger, betrayal, etc. but felt dismissed by her. My friend gave me the ultimatum of either taking a friendship break or saying goodbye for good'. Whoa. 'After some heated words, we decided to take a break for an uncertain amount of time. Needless to say, this situation really blindsided me and hurt me. If my friend does come back, I'm not sure if I should accept her as a friend because I can no longer trust her. I feel I'm owed an apology for the way she treated me. Will my friend come back one day? Should I accept her as a friend if she does? If not, where should I go from here? Me, Scorpio Sun. Virgo Rising. Virgo Moon My friend Scorpio Sun. Pisces Moon. Gemini Rising.' Damn. It's like Scorpio against Scorpio. This is this is harsh. Scorpio versus Scorpio. My goodness. I can I can just imagine the fierceness of feelings that are erupting in both of these people in this situation. You know what this question really made me think about? So I've talked before. I love hanging out at 12 step meetings. Right. So I've like I like metabolize a lot of their little sayings. Okay. And one of them is detaching with a chainsaw. So check it out. So in the in the practice Al-Anon, in that in that 12 step program, you learn how to deal with people problems. Right. It's like it's like learning how to have good boundaries and how to how to have good friendships and good relationships. And so there's this thing that when people who are bad and having boundaries have never had boundaries are people pleasers and stuff like that. When they first start trying to have boundaries, sometimes they're so fucking bad at it and they're so extreme that people say, Oh, I detached with a chainsaw. So instead of like being able to sit down and be like, Hey friend, you know, like I have these problems and because of it, I've, you know, fed into this dynamic between us and I need to change these things. Like, she's just like, what? I can have boundaries. My life is crazy. Get the fuck away from me, everyone. Like that's what that's what it feels like when I'm reading this, that this person detached with a chainsaw because they didn't have the skills to actually, you know, in a healthy way and in a kind way make some boundaries. But, you know, I think, you know, you're saying you feel so betrayed. Of course you do. I mean, you have every right to feel that way.

So I pick some cards for you. Will your friend come back one day? What's the first card that came up? Wheel of Fortune. Yes. Your friend will come back one day. The second card. Five of. Of Pentacles. Right. Whoa. The five of Pentacles. And that's like worry and that's about, like, scarcity. And I feel like, you know, I think maybe that's both of your bad feelings. But the mystery in the situation is, of course. You know, the friends. And so I feel like we're getting a little insight on the friend here that I really do think that the friend misses you and feels the lack of you in her life and doesn't necessarily know that if she did the right thing or not. The final card for is this person coming back or not? The Empress. Yes, she's coming back. She's definitely coming back. But that still doesn't answer the question if you should let her in. So I picked you two cards. What does it look like to, you know, let her back in your life? And what does it look like to not okay for letting her back in your life? It's very interesting. It's it's a little it's mostly good, I'll say that. It's mostly good. The first card is the ten of discs. And that's just like a family partying, Italian Renaissance style and like a villa in Tuscany. Right. There's even, like, Italian greyhounds, you guys. It's such a cute scene. So, yes, you've like reached the end. It's also the last part of the tarot. So, you know, we talked about closure tonight. There is a sense of closure and letting her back. Okay. You also got the nine of disks, which is another luscious lady hanging out in a vineyard, admiring her pet falcon, leaning on a bunch of pentacles. She's got it all right. She's worked for what she has, and now she can enjoy. So it's sort of like there's a relief and a sense of abundance between you guys and maybe, you know, I mean, I think that this person will have had to have done some work on themselves to come back. And that is something that, you know, they should take some accountability for the way they ended things. Right. But then the middle card that you got here is the seven of wands and the deck that I'm reading. Oh, my God, you guys, I have to actually tell you about this deck. It's so cool. It's a new tarot, Jack, and it's called the wiser tarot. And it's basically it's the rider-waite. It's the classic Rider-Waite, you know, with All of the Art by Pamela Coleman Smith, but the folks at Wiser Books, which is like a new book publisher, they repainted the whole deck. So there's tons of people of color in it now. And you're just like, Oh my God. Like, the problem with the Rider-Waite deck was it was so Eurocentric. I mean, arguably it still is. They, you know, kind of painted everybody different shades of brown, but it makes a difference. You know, I really I really it's not, you know, it's not the same as a deck by and for people of color. Absolutely not. But it's real nice to get to use this classic deck and look at these classic images. And it's people of color. I really appreciate it. So I just want to let you guys know that this exists. So so anyway, the middle card in between these two very lush pentacle cards is that seven of wands where somebody is super defensive, standing at the top of the hill, having a fight. You know, all these sticks are coming for him and he's having to send them off, right. So it looks like whatever that core problem was, you know, it's still there. And we don't know 100% what that I mean, I think there's a few problems. You know, it could be that your friend still hasn't figured out how to do her boundaries in a healthy way. You know, she hasn't figured that out. And, you know, what is this dynamic like? Maybe there's also something going on that because she allowed herself to be really unbounded for so long, there is like a pattern where you have certain expectations of her and maybe those expectations aren't appropriate anymore. And that's going to be hard, right? So it looks like a little bit of a mixed bag if if the alternate wasn't so gorgeous, I'd say do it. But here's here's the thing for not having this person come back into your life, it's actually much better for you. It's all cups, okay? It's the ten of cups, which is happy, family, dancing, children, beauty. It's lovely. It's like, it's like and it's again, it's another. It's a ten. So there is a sense of closure. Like, either way you can have closure around this. Then there's the three of cuts, which is really about like an abundance of friendship and good vibes. And it's maybe like you don't need that. Like you have other people that you can go to for that lovely energy and then you have the six of cups, which is about like beauty and love and pleasure. So it just looks like it's a lot chiller for you to not let this person back in because they're trying, they really are. But it does not seem like they have mastered what they need to master to be able to be, you know, make it up to you a little bit, acknowledge the hurt that you went through and then be able to be a better friend to you. So I'm sorry that news is not better, but the news is great that you're you're awesome no matter what. So that is good news.

Again you guys the I was talking about that I love so much the it's the riff on the the writer Wade Smith tarot but with a new edition of people of color in it it is called the wiser tarot w e i s e r it's a great death. And, you know, not only did the repainting, you know, bring us people of color, it also kind of brought a slightly different color scheme. And it's cool. It's like a just a cool new. New paint job, you know, in that way for for the for the rider weights it's so I like that. All right. Now, if you have tuned in and you're like, what's happening? You're listening to Ask the Tarot. It's a live tarot show. And you can can ask questions. You can raise your hand here in the room and the speaker requests. Right. Or you can send me your issue. I love to get in my Diane's on Instagram @michelleteaz T-E-A-Z. And if you are like, Oh, my God, I love listening to people getting their tarot cards read. We have a ton of back episodes and you can listen to them. Just go over to Spotify. Look for the Your Magic thread feed rather than your magic feed. And it's right there. Right. You know, it's shuffled among our our podcast episode. So check it out and I hope you like it. And I do want to tell you guys, because I have a big book tour of a new book coming out about how I had my baby with the help of a generous drag queen. It's called knocking myself up. You can preorder it right now, and I'm going to do a little book tour. I'm going to be all over the place. So I'm going to be here's the places I know I'll be okay in case any of you guys want to come. I would love to hug you in person, unless that's dangerous because of COVID. And then I'll just like, I don't know. I don't know what I'll do, but. Oh, yeah, Gabby's saying here, I'll never contact you for a reading. That's true. And I've been verified on Instagram so that I'm not getting as impersonated as much. But no tarot reader will ever contact you for a reading, and you should know that. Okay. But anyway, I'm going to be in Brooklyn. I'm going to be in San Francisco. I'm going to be in Portland. I'm going to be in Oakland. I'm going to be in San Diego. I'll be in San Francisco a couple of times. I will be in New Orleans. I'll be in Nashville. I'm going to be. Is that is that all? That's all for now. Come to Boston. Oh, God. I really want to come to Boston. I probably will definitely going to be an upstate and western Massachusetts in the fall. Okay. I'm sorry that I can't go everywhere. You guys. It's so hard. I really want you. But yes, Catherine, if you're in Nashville, I'm going to be at the bookshop. Okay? Jasmine, if you show up at my New Orleans reading, I'll lose my mind. I'm at the Garden District Bookshop. That would be so fun. Sarah, I see you asking for Denver. That's a really great question. I'll look into it. Okay, because I really love Denver, and I think I could maybe make that happen. Okay. Okay. Anyway, back to tarot. Back to tarot. Let's see what is going on here in the Tierra. Sophie, you are up. Hello?

Querent: Oh, my gosh. Hello. So mostly I think I just need a vibe check. Six months ago, I left a job that I had been out for three years, and I really, really like my new job. It's a lot better for my mental health, but I'm making substantially less money.

Michelle Tea: Why is it that the jobs that are for our mental health pay us less?

Querent: Exactly. And then also in the last several months, my relationship of a little bit over two years also ended. I had actually messaged you on Instagram about it.  And I feel really directionless right now and just like a vibe check would be good.

Michelle Tea: Okay, let's see what the tarot wants you to know about this strange moment in your life, right, where you've had a few really significant changes. And I can imagine that it feels confusing to be without your partner of two years to be in the job. That is, you know, I mean, not having enough money has its own mental health struggles. Yeah.

Querent: So and I'm a single mom and a student also, so. And then I don't know if I didn't say this before, so I'm Sagittarius, Sun and Moon and a Cancer risings. Yeah.

Michelle Tea: Okay, Sophie, I have to tell you, you got such incredible cards for right now, okay? Like, really good. So the very first card that just popped right out is the universe. So that is such a powerful, like, signal sign. You know, you want a vibe check, you are exactly where you are supposed to be, right? You were meant to leave that job. You know, the toll that it was taking on your mental health, that's real. Money struggles are real to 100%. I get it. But you'll figure that out somehow. Like you're meant to be at the job you're at now. That was a good thing. Also, the ending of that two year relationship is also good for you, and I don't know anything about it. I don't know if it was a bad wish, good relationship, who ended it, but I would guess that there were some serious lessons that you got out of it. You were meant to both be in the relationship and now you're meant to be out of the relationship. It's so hard when things are at a lull or something happens that we don't like to be like how you know, how can how can this be for a reason? Like, what the hell is the reason in this? Just like that, this dead air, right? But there's this like. I don't. No. The idea is like the universe is everything or the universe is nothing, right? We can't only just believe in the good things that happen as being those those things that are like meant to carry us through. It's like these lower times and these times that feel confusing. They often end up being so pivotal. So I'm getting such a strong message that that that's what the tarot wants you to trust your next card. I love that you're like, I'm a savage sun, A.I.G. Moon because you've got the princess of wands, right? So that's the princess of fire. And that's a you and this is one of my favorite cards, especially in the top deck. She's naked, which means she's vulnerable. And you're in a vulnerable situation. You're you're single mom. You're a student, you're working, and you're not making as much money. You just had a pay cut. You just lost a partner. I mean, that's a very vulnerable situation. And the princess of wands is just letting herself be vulnerable. She's owning it. She's flying up into that. She's flying up almost like a little highway of fire. She has really huge horns that represent her intuition. You can trust your intuition, like your gut. Probably told you some stuff about your relationship that probably feels so. It told you to get out of that job. And I think that is really good. So your intuition is really good and your essence? This princess is holding this giant scepter with a sun on it. And what I think that means, you know, we live in a culture of sunshine, astrology. We see where our sun is as representing something of the core of our personality. So there's something about these situations that are allowing the core of your personality to burn so bright. This this character, the Princess of Wands, has the tiger by the tail. She has like a full a full tiger, and its tail is like around her neck, but she's wearing it kind of like a scarf and it's kind of flying behind her. So it's really about just like not letting your fear stop you. It's like recognizing those fears, right? Like, oh, hi, tiger. Fear. You want to, like, not my leg or something or knocked me down. That's not going to happen. I'm going to wear your tail like a cute little accessory and you can come with me if you want, but like I'm moving forward. So I love that. And then right next to her, there's an altar of fire and she's burning her fears in that in those flames as a ritual. So which, you know, if that resonates with you, you should do that to burn your fears. Burn your fears ritualistically in a safe way that doesn't burn your house down. Okay. So, yeah, that's a lot of symbolism packed into that one card and I think it's all really good for you. And then your final card. This is what, like, blew me away. So you got the universe and then you got the three of wands. And I always say that the three of wands is the universe of all of the minor arcana. And it's, you know, again, wands being fire it representing our drive, our passion, our life energy in the three, you put all of your energy in exactly the right direction. So again, it's this beautiful cosmic pat on the back saying like, yes, you're doing the right thing. You're doing what's right for you. You know, I wouldn't have been surprised at all if you got the moon card right now, since you're in this sort of liminal space in between like endings and beginnings. And that is always so confusing. But you didn't you didn't get the moon card. So even though you might feel moony, the tarot wants you to like, really step into this idea that, like, you're fearless, you make really good decisions and you're exactly where you're supposed to be. Does that make sense?

Querent: Yes, it does. And honestly, that just feels like a big relief. This my relationship. I'm the one that ended it after so long. And it was really hard because it wasn't as obviously unhealthy for me as other relationships I've been in. And so like when I did feel like, okay, I don't know about this, it was easier for me to kind of explain it away quicker and kind of like just keep moving forward.

Michelle Tea: You did the right thing. I mean, that's, that's like the absolute huge message from the tarot. So, so if you can just sort of like trust that even if you can't feel it 100% right now and just grow into that sense and into that confidence.

Querent: Thank you so much.

Michelle Tea: Welcome. Good luck to you.

Querent: Thank you. My daughter wants to say hi, if that's okay.

Michelle Tea: I was just going to ask you what your daughter, what your child's name was. Oh, my God.

Querent: Her name is Delaney and she's 13.

Baby Querent: I want to get my tarot read.

Michelle Tea: You do? Do you have a question right now, Delaney?

Baby Querent: I have a question about a friendship. Yeah. So I have this, like, really platonic, intimate friendship with my older friend Don. And I go over there a lot, just like because I like being over there having fun. They have a pool. She has a little brother. Like, it's been really good for me. Especially because recently my mental health has been like. Really bad. Like going downhill really fast. And I just wanted to know if that's, like, a good friend for how my mental health is going.

Michelle Tea: Hey, just want a little vibe check about, like, about your dynamic with this friend. Okay, that sounds great. Thank you for being here and for, like, yeah. Being part of this. I know you can see the chat, but everyone's so psyched to meet you and everyone's like, so impressed by how vulnerable and articulate you are about just like, what you're going through. It's very. Inspiring.

Baby Querent: Yeah, we're both really big fans. My mom texted me as soon as she found out and she was like, Oh my gosh, I get to be on this.

Michelle Tea: It's killing me. So sweet so honored. I really am. It's an honor to get to help anybody in this frickin planet, you know? All right, here's my last shovel. Let's see what's going on here. Wow. Okay, this looks good. So the very first card that comes up is this card, the eight of swords. And it's called interference. And it is a hard card. But here's the thing. The set of swords in the tarot and you might know this already, it's about it's our mind, it's the mental landscape. And as we know, right, our mental landscapes are not always great. They're not always healthy. Our minds aren't always our best friends. So, you know, I think this might be talking about reflecting what you were saying, that like you're you're having a hard time and you're wondering if this friendship is going to be, like, helpful to you because the next card is the nine of wands, which is called strength. And it's like, you know, it's like to me reading that would say that this is a friendship that actually makes you feel it helps you feel empowered, like strong in yourself, that you can trust yourself. It's Moon in Sagittarius, which is your mom's moon. And, and, you know, that is very playful and optimistic, you know, and optimism is, you know, sadly, one of the first things that hits the chopping block when our mental illness is flare up. Right. It is really hard to have optimism when we're feeling really low or really anxious. So I like there's so much optimism in this strength cards. So I like that, you know, it seems like maybe there's a dynamic there that allows you to lighten up and please don't take that the wrong way. I frickin hate it. You know, mental health is health. Like you would never tell somebody with a broken arm to just like, I don't know, lighten up a little bit. Maybe your arm will heal, you know what I mean? Like, you know, we can't do that always, right? But there is a beautiful way that other people can sometimes bring some light into our lives. And when we're struggling, we really need it the most. So I think that this is something that does that for you. The final card is the ace of disks. So that's about like a like a new cycle. So, you know, I don't know if you guys if you and your friend have any sort of plans. I don't know if you're going to do a project together if that idea comes up for you guys to, like do something together. That's like kind of a project that would be really cool. It looks good. Those are the kind of things ruled by the Ace of disks. At the very least, it looks like you guys might get closer and, like, have a new, you know, a new level of your friendship. How long you've been hanging out for?

Querent: Almost like a year.

Michelle Tea: Okay. Oh, that's great. That's really serious. That's. You guys know each other after a year, right? So that's awesome. Yeah, it looks like. I don't know. Like, it also could be that there's like, that the relationship is going to, like, enter a new cycle where maybe you just got to like, you can really relax into each other and really trust each other even more. Trust that you can trust each other. But you know that that eight of swords, you know that I really do feel like that's that's probably representing the mental health struggles that you're dealing with and is saying that this is a connection that does offer to offer you a little relief from that.

Baby Querent: Yeah. The other day, like especially on the full moon at like 2:00 in the morning, I just like couldn't sleep and. So I got in trouble and I got my phone taken away and stuff like normal teenage stuff. But like, out of nowhere, I decided to run away. And that was kind of difficult on both of us. Yeah, I bet. And my mom talked to him, like, as soon as I did because she had my phone, so she just, like, texted him and it was like, hey, she ran away just telling you. And asking if I went there because I mean, like, I thought about it, but he was like, really worried. And it's like, kind of what made me feel the worst about it is because how worried he was. And, um, after I came back home, I got on the phone with him and he was like, Don't ever do that again. And it just made me feel so bad. But now, knowing that that's a good, like a good friendship to have I think.

Michelle Tea: Nobody wants you to run away. Nobody wants you to run away. People love being near you. You know, as you were telling that whole story, I was shuffling the cards and I picked three cards about everything that you're talking about and the pain that you were in that night and like, you know, and that no doubt, you know, you feel, you know, recurring. That was it probably the first or the last time that you felt those feelings. And I got these are the three cards that came up for your. Okay. The very first one is called The Hanged Man. And that is a hard card. When the image on this card is a person who is being who's dangling by their feet. And I know it sounds funny, but they're dangling by their feet. They're almost like an upside down crucified Jesus. Right. It looks very uncomfortable. The idea is this person has put themselves into this deeply uncomfortable situation because they know that they're going to get something good out of it. It's hard. You have to wait and kind of struggle and suffer a little bit. But you grow as you do that and you learn what happens when you don't react right, when you don't like slip out, but you actually just like breathe through it and see what happens on the other side. So, I don't know, like the hangman, this is like a really interesting card for you because I bet I can imagine the the overwhelming feelings that you were flooded with when you decided to run away. Right. What the hanged man is suggesting is like what else? How can you sit through those feelings, right, instead of like reacting to them, but how can you sit through it? And what's the wisdom on the other side of that? Does the wisdom like heal your, you know, your mental health struggles? Probably not. Right. But does it give you new fortitude, a new wisdom to help you understand it differently and maybe approach it differently? It really could. This is very interesting. So the next card that came up is that eight of sorts, again, interference. So that to me says, yes, absolutely, this card is representing your mental health struggles. That is the card that's representing that for you, the eight of swords. But then on the other side of that is the fricking empress. Okay? The Empress is the goddess of love. Okay. And it is it's really the energy of love in the universe. Right? So anything that to you is love, right? The love that you have felt from your friend, the love you feel for your friend, the love you felt from your mother, even though she took your phone away from you. You know the love you feel for your mother, even though she took your phone away from you. I mean, like the love you feel towards animals, like the like when you see some sort of, like, wildflower or something incredible, like out in the world. That is all the empress, right? That is the beauty of the universe. And we're also lucky to have some access to it. So like that beauty of life is it's available to you on the other side of this mental health struggle that you're dealing with. And like there's so many ways to deal with and approach mental health issues. As, you know, as your mom knows, you guys are in it. And I just you know, it's the hangman sucks, right? It really does. But it's all about like you got to stick with it. Like, don't run away from it. Don't run away from the people who care about you. Don't run away from the boundaries. Don't let boundaries throw you out into the street. Don't do it. And also the Empress Card is also like the cosmic mom. And it's like, you know, you're I'm sure you're I mean, I'm a mom as well. And I can just imagine if my kid like if my kid got pissed off because I took his iPad away and ran away, which is like actually not off brand for him. I can see that happening in a few years. Like I would be. I don't even know what I would. I would be beside myself in exactly the way that your mom was. So you also have to know your mom loves you tremendously. And sometimes it's really hard to be tapped into that when there's so much other stuff going on that's hard. But, you know, the Empress wants you there was wants you to try to tap into that love. Does this all make sense?

Baby Querent: Yeah. And me and my mom have, like, a really sister relationship. Like, more like twin sister. Like, we were just at Dollar Tree, and we both picked up the same book, and I said.

Michelle Tea: That's so fun. What a dream due to the beauty of it. And then you also experienced the shadow side of it, right? Which is just human life, right? We all get to experience the beauty of human life and then we end up getting stuck with the shitty parts of it. But I mean, having that love in your life and that support is everything.

Baby Querent: Everything. Yeah. In like the day after I went away, right? My grandma took me to work because that's where I went because I knew I would feel the most safe there. And after that, she took me to work before we went back to my house. And like, all I could think about was like getting her stuff and like, bringing her essential oils. And, like, they have these homemade brands there from, like, just people around town. Oh, wow. So I brought her something that that doesn't make a lot of sense. I'm really happy that the friendship is going to work out because I didn't want to lose that. And I think these are really good readings.

Michelle Tea: They're very positive. And yeah, they're not sugarcoating that. There's some there's a real struggle, you know, but there's also so much support and hope and love.

Baby Querent: So yeah, I feel like after this and like knowing how worried he was about me, I feel like hanging out with him is going to be a lot better. And I feel like after this situation we're both going to have a lot more like closure with each other. 

Michelle Tea: So great. Thank you so much for sharing and participating tonight. And Sophie, thank you so much for for raising your hand.  It was incredible. You guys are so magical. You have the heart of both of you. Everybody in the chat. I'm sure you're seeing that. So? So we're all with you. Okay, I'm going to say good bye. My God, you guys, what is life? What is life? Okay, it is 7:01. I have to run. I'm. I'm reading at my friend's book party, so I have to get ready and get out of here, but. Whoa. I don't know how I'm going to recover from all of that, all of that, that emo beauty. And you guys are so lovely in the chat. I just adore all of you. Thank you so much for showing up with your awesome energy. It's like the best. You guys are like the best of humanity. I'm so PMS right now. You guys. I went I took my my son and my nephew to NASA yesterday. There's like a NASA hub here near my house. And just to be among all these people who have dedicated their life to trying to figure out, like, what is the universe and is there other life and where is it and can we contact it? I like cried. I cried at NASA. This is the week I'm having. So you guys are going to make me cry again. I will see you next Thursday here. Okay. 6:00 West Coast, 9:00 East Coast. Listen to the episodes over on your magic feed on Spotify and get all the Discord Channel. Go hang out at the Discord Channel. Awesome. I heard it's getting better and better and better. Okay, cool. Goodnight, you guys.

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Michelle Tea: Hi, friends. Remember to catch. Ask the tarot live right here on Spotify every Thursday at 9 p.m. Eastern. You can join me for a journey through the cycles of life, love, aspiration, all in real time. Want me to do a reading for you? Just download the Spotify Live app for free today. It's available in the App Store and you can join me. Every week I go live, you'll be able to meet really unique people, chat with other listeners, and even ask questions of your own. Remember, you can always listen to ask the Tarot live on Spotify every Thursday at 9 p.m. Eastern. Want to be part of the conversation? Download the Spotify Live app for free today and make sure to follow the Ask the Tarot show page to be notified every time we go live.

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