Ask The Tarot: I Made a Mistake Two Years Ago & My Husband Still Doesn’t Trust Me. Should I Try To Fix It?

This is a recording of our Spotify Live show from June 30, 2022. Tune in on Spotify every Thursday at 6 PM PT/9 PM ET to catch Michelle Tea’s tarot readings. Or listen on the Spotify Live app where you can join the chat — you’ll even have a chance to ask the tarot what’s on your mind.

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Michelle Tea: Hey, everyone. So thank you so much for tuning in. I am wondering, did you know that you can now join ask the Tarot every Thursday at 9 p.m. Eastern live on Spotify. That's right, lines. But we all know the best part of tarot isn't just listening. It's getting your own cards read. Have a question about your future or your past, maybe about your love life or your career. I want to hear from you. All you have to do is download the Spotify Live app in your app store or click the link in our episode descriptions to sign up for free. Then follow ask the Tarot and the Spotify Live app to get notified every time I go live and hear what the tarot has in store. Why miss out on that?

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Michelle Tea: Hello, everybody. It is Michelle Tee, your host. Welcome to another edition of Ask the Tarot Live. Thank you guys for being here. I'm so happy to be here also. Hold on. I'm going to invite everybody I like to invite. Everybody invite. Okay, cool. Yes. Hello. You're here. Maybe you want to tarot reading. If you do, here's what you do. You just raise your hand, right? Just raise your hand and you'll go into, like, you know, a queue. And I will get to as many of you as I can. Okay. There is another way to submit a question, and I wouldn't get to you tonight, but hopefully in the future, if you're feeling shy, you don't want to talk. You can find me on Instagram. I'm @michelleteaz T-E-A-Z. You can find me there and you can send me your question and I'll answer it on another show. Like another night. These shows happen every Thursday, 6:00 Pacific Time, 9:00 Eastern. If you love it and you want to listen to more and more and more, just go to Spotify and search for your magic. That's my podcast. And in that same thread, you'll find all the back episodes of Ask the Tarot. Is that all the things I want to tell you? There's there's so much to tell you. Like, if you're listening on Spotify and you want to participate, like ask an actual question, raise your hand. All you have to do is hop over to the Spotify Live app and you can do that. So that's really easy. What else do I want to tell you? If you all want to, like, be friends and hang out forever and yes, Jasmin Discord. There's a your magic discord room where it's a place for everybody in this beautiful community to find each other when it's not Thursday night, you know? So, yes, that's that's I think that's all for now. I'll repeat some of it later. I do want to say that Your Magic is having we're trying to get more information from our listeners to see, like what what you like, you know, so that we can do more things you like and stop doing things that nobody likes, you know. And if you take the survey, which is pretty quick, you get entered into a drawing to win a tarot reading with me, a private reading. So check that out. You can find it on your your magic's Instagram @thisisyourmagic. Take our survey, man. Okay, let's get into it. Let's help some people. All right.

Here is a question that came in to my Instagram. 'Hi, Michelle. I am a 29 year old budding professional. I have found my niche in nonprofit management and will be starting my master's degree in the fall. My motives to be a nonprofit work are to help people and promote equity in the community. While I am doing that in my current position, I am conflicted about whether it's time to move on. I was promoted to a management position at the agency I've been with for five years last September, and while I enjoy it, sometimes I feel like I've outgrown my time at the agency. I love most of my coworkers and get along with them. But I know in my heart this is not my forever place of employment.' Oh, my God. Not your forever family. 'I live in Buffalo, New York, and the population I serve was directly impacted by the mass shooting on May 14th. This caused people at my agency to express their very biased opinions. And it's been a tense work environment.' Oh, my God, that's horrible. I'm so sorry. But that's just like, you know, that must be so disappointing to be working in a nonprofit environment where you hope everyone's on the same page. And then you find out that, like, people's response to a hideous tragedy is to show their. Oh, sorry, sorry, humans. Why? Amanda, I see that you're new, and I want to say hi to you. Thanks for being here. Okay. Let me continue with this person with our questions you wrote in. 'I try my best to keep to myself about my feelings and opinions, but it's hard work when I am very vocal about social justice. Now, with the overturning of Roe v Wade.' Oh, man. Right. You guys listen. I'm just interrupting this to say, if anybody needs an abortion, come to California. I will help you find a place. If anyone if you if you are people you love, find yourself in a state that has outlawed this basic right that makes people who have uteruses lives, you know, manageable and you find yourself in a shitty situation. I am seriously not kidding. I will help you find a place, a safe, good place to stay. Okay. So just want to say that you can always find me on Instagram @michelleteaz T-E-A-Z. All right, I. This is very long. This is long. Okay, we're coming to the end. 'I am in the early stages of interviewing for a position at Planned Parenthood to directly help people who are considering are planning on getting an abortion. In my mind, this would have a greater impact on my community and the country. And reproductive rights is something I am truly passionate about. I am conflicted still, if I want to leave my agency, the only other person who works my program resigned last week. They're dropping like flies, and I'm the only one who knows how to run the program I'm currently in. I'm unsure what to do.' Ha. Okay.

So I grabbed my Maasai tarot deck and I picked three cards for sorting and three cards for going. I love clear cut questions like this. I love complicated questions, too. I love love everyone's problems, don't get me wrong. So for staying in this place, the first card that you get, if you look like it's going to be hard for you to stay there. Right. You get the six of swords. Right. And that's the sort of like that. It's I'm sorry, not the six of swords. That would be wonderful. You get the seven of swords, which is just sort of like cloudy emotions thinking you can do more than you can do. Yeah. Feeling like your time is up, right? And then you got the seven of whines. Seven is a really emotional number and it's just like it's a little out of whack with the seven of wands. It's you have the energy to stay there, but it's exhausting. So obviously I want to tell you to get the hell out of there, that doesn't look good. But guess what? Your final card is the world. Now in the Maasai tarot, there is no universe card. So the world is the universe and it is the big destiny. All is as it should be. You are where you belong, type of a place card. So you know it's actually telling you to stay at this job, which I'm sorry, but you still don't have to stay there forever. But it seems like maybe now they need you and that community maybe needs you. The cards for leaving are not terrible. Okay, you got the fool. So, you know, I love the full burst of fresh energy. Just like jumping into something new. Nothing wrong with that. The nine of disks is is actually quite good. Also, it's sort of like, oh, you, you know, you're you're rising on your own work. Well, you're almost at the ten. You've done so much hard work, you're clearly good at what you do. You'd have a great time, you know, being at Planned Parenthood and you'd be so helpful. But then you get the seven of cups, which is just sort of like more of the same problems or still a sense of dissatisfaction. So I feel like you should stay where you are for the moment. But I'm really wondering about the issue, the the toll it's taking on you not being able to speak out when you hear people say bigoted things. You know, I know that the shooting that happened in Buffalo really targeted a black neighborhood was targeting black people. So I'm guessing that what you're hearing on the job is anti-black racism. And I'm wondering if there is a way. Oh, it looks hard. It was very hard. But yes, okay. I just picked the ten of swords. But then right after that, I picked the high priestess. It looks really, really hard for you to speak against it and to speak challenging Lee to the things that you're hearing. But I think it's really important. And if you look at it like an opportunity, right, to actually challenge racism, you know, as it's manifesting through the person in front of you, I think that maybe you'll feel a little better about being there. And maybe that's one of the reasons why you're supposed to be there right now. I know that it can be really nerve wracking and anxiety inducing to speak up when you hear something, but it's really important, you know, and especially in a workplace, it's really important that people understand that things they're saying are appropriate are welcome. So I think that, you know, you can do it. You can move past that ten of swords and really let the high priestess guide you, which is, you know, the high priestess in so many ways is our higher self. Right. And it's like you're high yourself. You're all of our highest self, right? Ideally, I think we want to be challenging systems of hatred and inequity in our culture and in our world. So here is the world giving you an opportunity to do that right in your workplace? And, you know, figuring out the right way to do it is going to be a challenge. But you can do it and we are here. Yes. I see you on his name. Always love when the high priestess shows up. I mean, that's a person you want to have your back when you might have to get into it with somebody who's got some ignorant ideas about the world. Okay. Good luck to you, Clarence. All right, let me see who's got their hands up right here in the room. Casey Yeah? I'm going to call on you right now. Hold on a second. There we go. Hello, Casey.

Querent: Hi.

Michelle Tea: Hi.

Querent: Wow, I really wasn't expecting to called on.

Michelle Tea: Nobody ever is. It's funny.

Querent: Okay, so should I just, like, lay it out? Flat out what? I'm I'm not a very spiritual person. I never really have been. In fact, my partner corporately separated from has always been the more spiritual one. I guess what I'm looking for is, is, are the signs that I'm seeing is everything that I'm seeing. Is that telling me, you know, something in the in there continue to to hope and stay positive realm or is it like you need to let go and you need to forget about this sort of situation? Because I feel like it's I get a lot of both. The past few weeks and. Yes, sorry. Sorry. I'm a little scattered.

Michelle Tea: Don't apologize that that's a great question. And it's actually very quick, very clear. So I'm going to chuckle right now and ask, what does it look like for you to remain hopeful, to remain optimistic, to take some sort of, you know, helpfulness from the what the things that you're seeing that feel sort of like omens? What does it look like for you to stay in that state versus now I'm chuckling, asking, what does it look like for you to actually let go and move away from hope in this particular situation, you know, to, you know, take the focus off of whatever whatever it is that you're hoping for and, you know, put that focus on yourself instead and seeing what your next your next move in life might be, what does that look like? What are those two options look like for you? Okay. So to remain hopeful looks good. And then to. Oh, yeah, yeah. I think he should remain hopeful. Casey, here's the cards for kind of like, what did you say?

Querent: Oh, I just said, let's go.

Michelle Tea: Yes. Okay, great, great, great. So four oh, can I ask you to say to yourself while I'm talking so I can hear a little echo?

Querent: Absolutely. Sorry.

Michelle Tea: Perfect. Thank you. Okay, so this is really interesting. So for retaining hope, right? You first, you got the Queen of Swords, which is really interesting because she's not that hopeful of a person. She's actually quite cynical. And it's making me wonder, like, you know, do you need to look at your own cynicism? Like, do you need to amp up the hopefulness, actually? Or how does how is cynicism helping you? Are there things that maybe need to change or they're real changes that can you hold on to hope and also hold onto you something needing to change? And is there anything you can do to help that change happen? Your next card for being hopeful is the emperor. And I mean, that's beautiful. Like it's a major arcana, it's strong, it's going for it, it's confident. It's like, yeah, I'm hopeful because, like, I get what I want, you know, it's, it's maybe like a little cocky like that, but it's Aries and so it just has this beautiful like it doesn't even know not to be optimistic. So I love that. It's very, it's very trusting. And then you final card is the ace of disks. So that's great because that is really a card about manifesting and growth and a new cycle beginning. So these look really good to me. I'm so curious about that Queen of Swords. Maybe I'm hoping that it resonates and makes a little bit of sense for you, but I think, you know, in spite of her or along with her, hope does look good because, you know, walking away from hope looks like it would give you a lot of energy in this way. You've got the night of wands. He's very spontaneous. He's like he's like, I'm just doing I'm not thinking. I'm not feeling. I'm just doing. He's all action. And then you have the princess of wands and she's great, right? She's like, you know, like trying to be fearless and daring. But then right in the middle of those guys, you have the eight of cups insolence. And it's about like emotional neglect. So what I'm getting from that is for you to walk away means that you're having to, like, really ignore one of your emotional truths, something that is emotionally true for you. And I think that what is emotionally true for you is you do have hope. You know, in like, I don't know, it looks like your hope will be rewarded. But, you know, even even if it's not, I mean, sometimes you just want to hold onto that because the opposite just feels too cynical or like that's just that's what's true for you right now. Right. Is, is that that hopefulness feels real and feels true. So to go against that, that you're going against your truth. So so yeah. And again, it looks good for you to stay hopeful. It doesn't look like, oh, just stay hopeful for the sake of being a Pollyanna. It looks like like some things change, some changes come to you and some new beginnings. Does that make sense?

Querent: Oh, yes, it totally does. Thank you so much. 

Michelle Tea: Very welcome. And I hope you get everything you want.

Querent: I am trying my best.

Michelle Tea: To get that right. Right on. Okay. Have a good rest of your night. Kacey. Oh, my gosh. Okay. Yeah. To help or not to hope. That is the question. Am I right? Okay. Who else was here? Justine. You are up now. Justine. How can I help you? Or how could the tarot help you?

Querent: Hi, Michelle. Thank you for calling on me. Okay, so my question, I'm hoping that you can kind of help me work in a way for the tarot, but we purchased my boyfriend and I purchased a home in a completely renovated right before COVID. And it's been super challenging financial wise. And I'm kind of hoping that this is the year where we finally get to move in. So I kind of want to see like for the process, like financially speaking, will we overcome the challenges with it? We've even considered like, like throwing in the towel and selling and starting fresh with just the house. It doesn't require so much work. So I just like, what does it look like if we continue to put in some work and some time into this and like, when are we moving in? And then the other side is like, what if we just throw in the towel, sell it and start fresh? So it's like one of my questions and I do have another question. If you have time for my career.

Michelle Tea: Let's see. So I just put three cards on. What does it look like for you to keep going with this with this House project? And now I'm shuffling, asking, what does it look like for you to, you know, cut your losses and, you know, back out of it, whatever that means for you? Like, does that look like a better option for you guys to not move into the house, do one less shuffle on that question. And what's your last question?

Querent: And my last question was, career wise, I took a promotion almost about like nine months ago, and we're kind of not 100% sure if this was the right move. For me, it's a career change. So I just want to see what does it look like if I continue to stay here? Is this for me? And I'm just getting like butterflies because it's new or is it really just not for me?

Michelle Tea: Okay. So I'll just pick Ricard's for you asking, what's it look like for you to stay in this new position? And now I'm asking and shuffling. What does it look like for you to just. Yeah, if you do, is it is it true that this is just actually not a good match for you? Let's see. This is my last little shuffle thing. What if you sort of just back out of this position somehow? You know, acknowledge this, right. And take the necessary action. Okay, so let's see for continuing with the House project, huh? All right. You have the adjustment card, the three of disks, which is called work, and then the five of cups, which is called disappointment. Wow. This this house looks really rough. Like I'm seeing I'm seeing here how hard this has been for you guys. The alternative, which is, you know, I guess backing out of it, selling it. You got the eight of swords, which is called Interference. And then the Prince of Swords, which is a very frustrated card. But then you get the Empress. So I'm sorry. I'm sorry. This is this is so rough. I mean, the it looks like to me the story of staying with the house, the adjustment card is the justice card, right? So with that, you're constantly balancing weighing options. Is this the right thing to do? Is that the right thing to do? It just looks like there's a lot of questions and the stakes feel really high. It feels it feels stressful. I mean, the justice card adjustment is kind of stressful and it's really either soothed or further ruffled, depending on the cards that are around it. So the next card is the three of disks, which is called work. So it's like, okay, it's telling me that there's still a lot of work ahead of you with this project. Right. So probably moving in. Not quite. Not quite yet. Mars and Capricorn, you're definitely building towards something, but it's a lot of work. And then that final card, the five of cups, it's disappointment. It just to me it's saying that like you're not going to be, you know, whatever whatever you're hoping for right now is not going to come to pass in spite of you making the best decisions that you guys can make, in spite of all of the work that you're doing, it just looks like the project is it's just like force. I'm guessing it's probably forces that are bigger than you. I mean, you mentioned COVID.

Querent: It's been challenging. Yeah, like the prices of everything haven't inflated and my job the general contractor. So working with him it's like we don't want to hurt his feelings and things, but it's like our money and our our future.

Michelle Tea: You can't worry about their feelings. It's, you know, it's it's business. And you guys are the ones actually who are getting the most hurt here although that disappointment card. It's it does suggest like, okay, yeah. You don't want to disappoint somebody else by pulling out. But it does look like even though you know it's going to hurt to sell it, it does look like it ultimately leaves you in the best place. I mean, the first card you get for selling it is the eight of swords interference, right? It's a little bit of a hard market right now. Things are weird. I just did a chair reading for somebody earlier who's having a little bit of a hard time selling her house. So. And there's something, you know, there's just. Something in the way of easily selling it. However, the next card is the Prince of Swords and he is a problem solver, right? So whatever this problem is, whatever, whether it's the market, whether it's something that, you know, needs to be done or needs to happen in order for it to go on the market. It's going to be annoying and frustrating, but you will solve this problem. The Prince of Swords is a problem solver. And then once that problem is solved, you're you're at the end press and that's easily the best card for you. And in the end, these two draws, which are really both of them, kind of stressful. I like that you end with such calm, peace, love, like a sense that you really did the right thing for yourself and got yourself out of a bad situation and can figure out, okay, what's next? You know, like how how are we going to heal from this and where we want to put our energy and money, like, what's our next goal? You know, what do we want to grow towards next? Does that make sense? Oh, sorry that it's so hard. Now, let's see about this new job for you. You know, this is a good job for you. I think it is. Yeah. You just have to you have to relax into it and figure out, like, what the power dynamics are. The very first card that you have is the four of discs, which is called Power. It's Sun in Capricorn. Capricorn is, you know, the business, it's work, it's our careers. And so it's actually quite a strong card to get with for a career reading. And the next two cards you get are also really great. So, you know, even though there's shadow sides to the power card, I'm not necessarily seeing that for you beyond what you're already feeling, which is a sort of out of sorts ness. Are there power struggles? Or power dynamics?

Querent: Yeah. Like I have one lady who thinks she she's like she pretty much undermines a lot of the things I do, which kind of dismisses my authority in the clinic. And then really just, just annoying is like the good word to do it. It's like, well, that's like I'm trying to, I'm trying to succeed. And then I feel like every step I take, there's somebody in the way. So.

Michelle Tea: You know Justine, it's like the next two cards you have, you got the three of cups, which is abundance and then the magician. So these are really beautiful and strong. I hear that she's trying to undermine you. You're clearly threatening to her and you're probably threatening to her because you do have power. Right. It just might not be, you know, in full bloom yet because you're still new or maybe it's more in bloom than you recognize because you're like just on the inside of it. Your next card is the three of cups abundance. And then you get the magician. So what this looks like to me is like, you know, with that power card, you just always want to know. Like, it's like, can I ask you, like when she undermines you, does she kind of get away with it or is it just creating a lot of like bad vibes?

Querent: All the time. She gets away with everything because she's and it's kind of amazing, like the thing she's been doing at the company in general with other people too. And she's just kind of gets a slap on the wrist and she is in a high power position, so she's hurting my career. So it's like weird because I have another person who is like more of my superior and I feel like I'm always like questioning like, well, who's actually my boss here? Because I feel like I have a real boss who I enjoy. And then I have this woman who's kind of just in the way.

Michelle Tea: And you know something go where the love is like that abundance card shows that there is that you do have allies there. You have like one or more people who want to see you succeed and who you can be guardedly honest with and probably increasingly honest with, with time and with closeness as intimacy builds, it's, you know, it's mercury in cancer. And cancer doesn't give everything away, you know, right away, of course. But when you're close to them, they're there, you're in there, you know, they got you, and then you have the magician. So it's like you can actually rise up in this. You can win this power struggle. You can have what you want, you can manifest it. I think that what you really want to try to do is not let her get not let the power trip or get under your skin. I think that, like with that abundance card, it might be a little bit of like kill them with kindness, kill them with, you know, with pleasantries, rise above and just, you know, stay close to the good vibe. Go where the love is. Stay close to your good vibe, boss. And I think something is going to develop there where you'll be able to, you know, speak frankly and be heard with time. I think you definitely wait it out. You know, your your your cards for leaving are not good and you have to change card, which okay. Yeah, it would be a change. Right. And then you have the, the Princess of Swords and she's super reactionary. She's like, fuck this, you know? I mean, sometimes that's great and necessary, but then after that, you get the seven of wands, which is just about like a lot of effort to get what you want. It's very frustrating. So it doesn't look easy out there in the job world right now. I think you have landed where you're supposed to be. And even though this sounds really annoying and and frustrating, I think you're going to see movement with it. So just try to try to remember to keep your side of the street clean and definitely stay close to the. Your other boss.

Querent: Thank you Michelle.

Michelle Tea: You're welcome. Good luck to you. Okay. Hey, power trippers. Why do they do it? Hi, April, the newbie. I see this. You are automatically muted, I believe. And I just want to say welcome to all the new folks who are here. And this is how this room works. If you like a terror reading, just raise your hand. I can't get to everyone. I'll get to as many of you as I can. If you feel shy and you rather just kind of slip me a note, just find me on Instagram. I'm @michelleteaz T-E-A-Z and you can just email me there, send me your note and I will get to it hopefully on another day. Okay. All right. Let's look at one of them that actually came in that way. I love this question. Okay.

Let's see, I already picked the cards, but here I am. 'I have reconnected with an old friend from high school who is an amazing, awesome witch and is a priestess in her coven. She recently asked me to join in on further Sabbath and rituals. I am so honored, but I'm also nervous. I trust everyone in the group being a witch myself, but I like being solitaire. I'm scared I won't know as much as them. What would it look like if I participated with the coven? Or maybe not? Also, being a witch is so much fun, so maybe being with more, which is as good as witches need to stick together, right?' Oh my God. I love this so much. I want to be in a coven with you. Aquarians. It's so like this question is so sweet. So I grabbed the Cosmo Tarot. I picked three cards for you. What is it look like if you say yes to the Covenant? And I kept trying to find, like, something that rhymes with, like, yes. Like, say yes to the dress. Like, say yes to the cauldron, say yes to the I don't know the wand. I can't figure anything out. If something or somebody out there is a better rhymer, put it in the chat. Okay. So listen, this is so interesting. The very first card that came up for you being part of the coven is the devil. Oh, my God. It's so tempting. It's really tempting. And it's triggering and pushing you a little bit, right? You're, like, attracted to it, you're scared of it. You know, it's clearly I mean, to me, the sentence in this question that really gives it away is, where is that? You know, I'm scared. I won't know as much as them. It's like, oh, that's the heart of it, right? It's like, will I be exposed as a fraud? Am I a fake? Which, you know, that's like classic imposter syndrome. And that's the devil, right? Like that is such a a little demon to have on your shoulder because, you know, I mean, imposter syndrome affects so many people in so many different ways, but they're all bad at me, right? So your next card after the devil, after you face the devil is the world, right? Which is the universe like? Oh, my gosh, yes. You should definitely experience doing magic as part of a group with other witches. Like, it's actually your destiny. It's. It's a very big deal for you to do in your final card you have here, which is very interesting, is the eight of swords, which is that interference card, right. It's like it's a and I think, you know, swords are air and they're mental and the number eight is also mental. So it's almost like overthinking it. Like I think you might be overthinking it a little bit, but also you might find that you don't actually necessarily want to be a big part of a coven, like you don't necessarily want to totally change your practice. You do like being a solitary witch. But also I think that it's going to be good for you to just no other witches. I mean, with that world card there, you've got to go. You know, and I think it's also very charged with the devil card. I think it's going to be a powerful experience with for you. I don't think it's going to be bad. Like even if it's not your first choice or you're like, that's not my cup of tea. I don't think it's going to be terrible for you. I actually think it's going to be really interesting because, you know what? If you don't know as much as them how cool you get to learn more, right? You get to learn more. You know, about magic, about how other people approach it, what other rituals and procedures and tools people use. I think it's so cool. Of course I picked three cards for you not going right and you got the lovers, which is like, okay, this is like a big question for you, really. You know, the lovers is all about making a choice and making a commitment. And so it's like you're being it feels like it's much bigger than like, hey, do you want to come and do some magic? It's like, Oh, what kind of a witch ama am I committing to being part of a group or am I committing to my own solitary practice? So the next one is the six of swords. I do think that your core you are solitary, which. Okay, I do think that that is the biggest truth. I think that's where you have the most freedom, the most clarity. The next card here for you is the king of wands, which is beautiful, right? It's like you're on fire. It's like grounded fire. Yes. You are a solitary witch and. You should go and check out this covenant. I don't think you know it's not going to change you. It's not going to make you be a coven witch. But maybe you'll get invited to some witch parties, learn a few things, make some friends. It's not a bad thing for you, but it's not going to change your practice that drastically either. Good luck to you. Witchy. Witchy poo. All right, now let me see who is here in the room. Kristin, how can I help you? Hello?

Querent: Hi, Michelle. Think I actually was connecting to see if you can help me on my love situation and my.

Michelle Tea: I would love to try to.

Querent: My guy just moved to a completely different state than I am due to Air Force. And I'm wondering, okay, if it will work out or should I just, like, call it quits and try someone else out? I'm very much at a crossroads.

Michelle Tea: Okay. Yeah. Okay. So right now I'm struggling asking, what does it look like for you to stick with this guy and to see, you know, try out a long distance relationship, you know, with things maybe in the future, I don't know. Maybe, you know, you'll get relocated, maybe you'll move too.

Querent: I would love to move to him. That's what I want to do. But at the same time, I feel like I have to be realistic and I'm trying to see what to expect.

Michelle Tea: Okay, so let's see. Like, you know, since you just said that, that's something that you really would love. What would it be like for you to stay with him, stay connected, keep putting your intentions towards him with the hope that at some point you will move towards him and it will no longer be long distance says is now the moment to kind of, you know, reconfigure your romantic life and say, you know, this isn't going to work for me? Long distance relationships, you know, they are challenging. What would it look like for you to kind of take back your intention and draw attention from this person and look elsewhere in your sphere.

Querent: Yeah.

Michelle Tea: All right. So close. Okay, listen, you've got to stick it out with this guy, but it's going to be hard. I hate reading like this. I don't like telling people to stay with things that are going to be hard. Here's the situation. It just looks like, you know, at least for now. Right. He's your he's your truth. He's where your heart is out. Is that right?

Querent: Yes.

Michelle Tea: He's where your heart is. That the very first card that came up is the three of wands. And that is that's a real card about like purity of intention, purity of desire, putting your energy exactly where it's meant to go. So you are meant to be focused on him right now, but it does look hard. The next card that comes is the ten of swords. Has he moved away already? Yes, he just did this week. When did he leave? This week? Oh, yeah. I mean, you're going to be you're going to be a little bit in the cloud of it. And in the heart of it for a moment of the ten of swords is painful. But it's also, you know, the the Shining, you know, like the silver lining on it is that the worst thing has happened. He's been taken away from me. Right. That's you know, of course, there's always something worse. But like, you know, any worst case scenario has occurred and now you can figure out both of you, hopefully you're figuring this out together. It's not all on. You can figure out what's the next move. How are you guys going to be together? The the card that follows, that is the moon. So you're not going to know for a little bit? You know, I would say maybe it might be like a little bit of a rough summer. Well well, he sort of figures out, you know, his role and what he's doing in his new spot. And you figure out how to put return some of the focus back to yourself, you know, so that you're not just pining away from him while he's not around, you know, with the moon card comes up, we just don't have the answers. And it can be really frustrating. But I do I do think that you are supposed to kind of, you know, wait out this bumpy time with him because the cards for like looking elsewhere, you have the ace of swords that's like, okay, that's good. It's like a new beginning, a new focus, right? It's mental. And then you get the Prince of Cups in the night of swords to guys that are just, like, messed up. They're just not. It's funny because it's like, well, obviously you'll look elsewhere for, like, dating. And I just see like, yeah, I guess there's some like people around that you would go on dates with, but they're just not that exciting, you know? You know.

Querent: I'm so sorry to interrupt, but you literally said word for word what he told me.

Michelle Tea: And I just want to point that out. He's like, Oh, you're going to if you walk away from me, you're just going to date a bunch of losers.

Querent: No. Like, I want to stick this out and kind of, like, see where things going, but I need to figure out, like, how my career and what this new town is like. Basically what he said to me.

Michelle Tea: Yeah. I mean. Makes sense. He's going to focus on like, okay, let me like put the oxygen mask on myself or, you know, endeavor. So, so, you know, when the ten of swords is up, just know that, like in the moon. I don't know. Do what you can do to distract yourself from it over the summer. Like hang out with your friends, you know? I don't know. Go to the movies, whatever you can do to just sort of, like, not be catching on it. It is going to take a minute, but it looks like that's. That's what you should be doing. Oh. And then down the road after the moon, you get the peace card, too, of sorts. There will be peace of mind. There will be emotional harmony. It's moon in Libra. Libra loves a relationship, so it looks good for you. Thank you so much, Michelle. Oh, I'm sorry. You're going to have a sad girl, Summer, but you might have, like.

Querent: A distraction. It looks like it. Like distractions around.

Michelle Tea: Yeah, definitely. Definitely distract yourself.

Querent: Also, I just want to say I love your book. I'm reading it right now. Modern Tarot connected with it. So. All right. Okay. Thank you so much. I won't take any more time.

Michelle Tea: Oh, thank you so much. Have a good night. You too. Okay. Bye bye. Oh, you can always take a few more minutes. Tell me how much you like my book. Are you kidding? Oh, speaking of you guys, I have a brand new book coming out, but it has nothing to do with tarot, and it has everything to do with trying to get myself pregnant when I was 40 years old and I had no partner, no health insurance. But I did have a wonderful drag queen who said he'd give me sperm. So I wrote a book about it and everything that happened after that, and it's called Knocking Myself Up, and you can preorder it right now. It's out in one month. It's out on August 2nd. So you can preorder it. You know, anywhere where you can buy books, you can preorder this book. It's called Knocking Myself Up. I am going to do a book tour. I'm going to go round and do readings. And I really hope to meet some of you guys like in person when I do that. But I'll let you know more about that as it happens. Okay? Okay, cool. Let me see who else is in the room. I am coming to Portland and I'm going to be in Portland on August 5th at the Hollywood Theater with my my troupe called Sister Spit. So you're going to get like lots of witchy weirdos, like reading and doing funny things. I am going to come to San Francisco. I'm going to be at with Sister Spit at Bamford in the in the East Bay on August 12th. And then I'm going to come just by myself. I'm going to do something at Green Apple Books on the park. I hope I can make it. Oh, God, I'd love to come to Buffalo. I'd love to come to DC. Let's keep our fingers crossed. Okay? There's so many places to go. All right, who else is out here that I can help? Riley. Hello? Riley, you're up.

Querent: Hi. Oh, my gosh. Can you hear me?

Michelle Tea: Yes, I can hear you great.

Querent: Thank you so much for calling on me. I mean, this is a surprise.

Michelle Tea: Oh, good, good, good. Well, how can the tarot help you tonight?

Querent: It's something I've been kind of mulling over in my noggin is. I've been getting a lot of different signs, like really specific signs, like cleaning off my altar space and finding, like, a yellow jacket. Just kind of, like, curled up, like, you just sleep in there. And that's happened two or three times. And I just want to ask you, like, what's the universe trying to tell me what vibes am I picking up on? It's like, I know they're there, the signs are there, but it's just the numbers aren't adding up kind of situation.

Michelle Tea: Okay, so you kind of want like a, like a mystical vibe check.

Querent: Sounds like exactly what I need.

Michelle Tea: Okay, good. So what are these yellowjackets trying to tell you? Do you think that they might be trying to tell you to watch yellow jackets because it's such a great show? Maybe.

Querent: Oh my god I've never watched the show.

Michelle Tea: But it's really good. I mean, it's really, you know, if you like scary witchy teenage girls, which who doesn't? But let's see. For serious. Not for serious what? Let's get a vibe check here. This is just going to do one more little. Little thing. Okay? Oh, okay. This is very interesting. So the very first card that came up and again, I'm working with the top deck, so a card called Art came up. Okay. And it is a riff on the temperance card. But where the temperance card is sort of about balance, the aunt card really stresses the creation of a whole new thing. So, you know, the, the in the temperance card, the temperance angel is like pouring water back and forth between each other. But in this it's like two things. It's more about alchemy. It is quite a mysterious card. I'm not going to lie, but it's very positive. It's about creativity and creating something. So I would ask you, what is it that you want to create? What? And also collaboration? Is there somebody around you that you want to collaborate with? It is a big part about collaboration. The Princess of Wands is your next card. And you know, that could be if that collaboration thing is ringing a bell and feeling true, it could be representing that person otherwise or and or also you and your energy. The Princess of Wands is really fearless. And she's, like, taking a chance and she's jumping out there into the world. She's naked, which means she's vulnerable. She's burning her fears on an altar. So it's sort of like the those two cards together are a really strong message of like taking a creative chance and really putting yourself out there. And now this is very interesting. Your final card here is the ten of swords, the ruined card. Right. That that really hard card. And I don't believe that, you know, the universe is guiding you to like, you know, make some art, take a chance, and then, you know, get stabbed in the back. I think what this is saying, have you had like do you do you have a past of feeling like not good enough to make art or maybe you had a situation where you were being creative, but something bad happened or you didn't like how it went and it made you sort of like tamp your creativity down.

Querent: Yeah. I feel like every time my brain comes up with something that. Kind of for lack of a better way of putting it, one I hyper fixate on and just like pursue all the way before I can even start the process that like imposter syndrome kicks in and I just kind of bookmark the idea I don't actually go after it, so.

Michelle Tea: Okay, well, that that's it. I mean, you can break that cycle right now. That is the ruin card sucks, but it's a ten. So it means like, you know this already, right? You you just you just, you know, you just, like, described it so perfectly. Like, chronologically, like, I get an idea, I put it down there, and then my brain comes up and then I get imposter syndrome, and then I don't do it. So it's like you, you know, with that is you have a really powerful like window right now for some reason energetically to really get go against that can about it go to war against it. It looks like you really and then I picked a card again being like okay if you if you do that right, if you if you're just like, no, I'm not going to let this pattern keep stopping me from hitting, you know, my creative heights. What what does that look like for you? And you've got the six of wands, victory Jupiter in Leo, the most. One of the most creative signs. Jupiter meaning more and more and more. So this is beautiful. Like, I'm actually getting chills. Like, I think that this is a very clear, strong message to get out of your head and into the energy right into the you know, you got three fire cards that are really positive. The art card is Sagittarius Princess of Wands, I think is like Aries. And then the victory card is Leo. What sign are you?

Querent: I am a Taurus but rising's in Leo.

Michelle Tea: Oh, me too. So you really need a and you know, I do think that Taurus is can struggle with getting their art off the ground because you guys are so earthy and earthbound and practical, but like some of the best artists that I know are TAURUSES. So you guys have really strong creative ability. You just have to give yourself, but you have to just accept that it's not practical. It doesn't make sense. Like it doesn't have to, you know, it doesn't have to be practical. It's just it's something that you absolutely have to do. And I really believe that's the message of the little of the little yellow jackets. Don't let them sacrifice any more of themselves for you. You've got to you've got to do it.

Querent: I love that. Thank you so much. That really is such a great message and probably something I absolutely needed to hear.

Michelle Tea: Good. I'm really glad. Good luck to you. Let us know how it goes.

Querent: I will. Thank you so much. Have a great night.

Michelle Tea: You too. Bye bye. Wow yellow jackets. I do love that show. Yellow jackets, you guys. I binged it in like 24 hours. Me and T.J., my husband, we binged it in 24 hours. And afterwards I was just like, oh, my God, how will I live? How will I live now that I can keep watching that? You know what I mean? It was so good. Anyway, anyway, watch it if you like things like that. If you like cannibal, which are teenage girls, watch it. All right. I'm going to go over here. I saw somebody ask how to get on discord. I don't know if there's anyone from Your Magic hanging out in Vera is around or if might have other things to do. You know there has a life you dance. But if she's here, if you're a girl, you throw the discord link into the chat. I think go to discord and search for your magic. Or This is your magic and you'll find the community. And thanks for asking. So I'm psyched that people want to join it.

Okay, you guys, this is a very mysterious question. Oh, my God, Peter, thank you. Oh, my God. Thank you for putting that up there. Very, very kind of you. I really appreciate it. I was like, I can't do it. From what? From I can't do that and do this. You know what I mean? All right, you guys, this is this is a this is a deep question. Okay? 'I'm 35 years old and an Aquarius. I had been with my husband for 16 years, married for almost nine, though we have been technically separated for almost two years because of something I did back in 2020. He is a 41 year old Sagittarius. I'm just trying to figure out if we will ever find our way back to each other as man and wife, husband and wife, man and woman.' Okay. 'I'm also trying to figure out what to do for work. I'm currently serving in the National Guard and working part time in retail with commission, which just isn't for me.' I did that once in high school. It's awful. Before I joined the military, I was a CNA and all types of health care covered was what killed it for me. But anyway, financially we are struggling and he is starting his own business and I just feel lost and not finding anything that really calls to me or will help me help make a dent in most of my financial issues. We have no children except for three four legged ones because I don't believe I can have any. We keep trying to get back to us, but then it seems I end up two steps back and I have not made any mistakes like I did two years ago. That was something I should never have done but was in a dark place. And well, it's in the past now. But I am doing everything I can to make up for it.' Oh, I got to say, what do you guys think? Like, I just feel like this person is so heavy hearted and. And just. Really, really like. Yeah. Very, very heavy hearted. And it's making me feel heavy hearted. You've got to forgive yourself. I know. I feel sorry for this person to forgive yourself. Forgive yourself. Okay. 'I want to get my best friend, my hubby back.' I don't know what the cards will tell you. Maybe they will be as confused as I am. 'But I'm just trying to get some insight as to what I need to do and all aspects of my life, I guess.' Okay. Wow. I picked a lot of cards for this person because I felt like the urgency felt powerful, but the questions were kind of fuzzy. You know what I mean?

So. So let me see. All right. You guys have been technically separated, but you are writing as if you're not. Right. So. Hmm. I said first thing I did was to pick three cards, and I'm using the mythic tarot, which uses Greek and Roman mythology to illustrate. And you're in the chat. Oh, my gosh. That's very sweet that you're here. We really feel your pain. And I could feel your heaviness about this. So I wanted to know, like, you know, what does this look like? What? What's the state right now? What is the energy vibe? Check on your energy with each other. The first card that came up is the King of pentacles. So I'm guessing that is your, you know, your husband. Let's call him, you know, your partner, your best friend. It's representing him. He has a lot of power. He also has the ability to be generous. Right. That's the king of pentacles. He has a lot of power and he has the ability to be generous. So I. I hope he is being generous. Right. It sounds like you did something that is that, you know, hurt him, but it sounds like you're just as hurt by it, you know? At least that's what I'm getting from this. Your next card that you got is the five of cuts. It's so interesting because the five of cups in this mythic tarot, it's the the whole cup suit is the myth of cupid and psyche. Right. And so it's illustrating the moment where psyche betrays Cupid. Right. She like he said, I'll give you all these things. I'm going to be, like, the best lover. I'm so rad. But you just can never know me. You just can't ever turn on a light and look at me. I'll be here in the dark. Okay? And so psyche, like any normal fucking human being at some point is like, I can't take this anymore. I got to look at. I got to see my husband. I got to see him. And she turns the light on and she sees, you know, that he's this beautiful angel. And he's like, What the fuck? That wasn't our agreement by and he's gone. So it's a it's about betrayal, but it's also about like, you know, what were the expectations? Were the expectations too high? I don't know what you did. I mean, the obvious thing to think of is that you cheat, you cheated on your husband. Right. And you but I don't actually know what you did. You don't say what you did. So I don't know if like if in some way there is, you know, yes, you did something you wish you didn't do, but maybe like does your husband have a part in it, too, where the expectations are too high in the situation? Then you get the four of cups. And it's so interesting, the four of cups in this deck. It shows psyche, you know, with being tempted by her sister saying, like, why doesn't he let you see him? You know, you should do something about that. It's like very interesting. So in the power of cups classically is about being dissatisfied with what you have. Right? So like, you guys are not satisfied with what's happening right now, but it looks like you're being haunted by, you know, that this betrayal is still very, very much alive. Okay. Let me see. I'm seeing something here. Oh, God. I see. I'm getting a little bit of I'm not going to read what's in the where should I read? Let me know if I can read out loud what is in the chat, what you're what what more you're sharing. I well, I'll still protect your anonymity, don't worry. But if that's okay. Oh, I can. Okay.

So the querent is in the chat right now and she says he said he was divorcing me after COVID was over and then turns out he wasn't going to, but I had already made the mistake. I'm still confused. Did you think this person was divorcing you? So you went and did something. And that's the mistake. Because that would really fit with this because like, that's like, you know, you were operating on information. This needs to be put behind you guys. You were in a dark place over it. Of course you were. And you know, if you know that you're being left, you've been returned to yourself. And I say you've got the right to do whatever you want. I see the king of Pentacles maybe being a little stingy. I see way too much emphasis being put on this mistake. And I see that you guys can't grow forward as long as that's the case. So I'm seeing I ask the cards next what needs to happen, what needs to happen in order for you guys to move forward and be. Beyond this because you need to move beyond it. You both do. The first card is the ace of cups. Yes. A new beginning. A new emotional beginning. The fact that you don't know if it was a test or not is fucked up. Okay. I'm seeing now that the parent doesn't know if the husband was testing. Like, I'm going to break up with you and let's see how you act now, because if so, that's awful or if that's what they felt at that moment. You know, people say things when they're upset that they don't always mean, but, you know, your behavior is a consequence of what what your husband said. You know, you can't say things like that. There's a consequence. So if you guys want to move beyond it, you have to have you have to have ace of cups. A total new emotional beginning. Okay. He forgives you completely for whatever you did. You forgive you completely for whatever you did. You forgive him for fucking with your mind whether or not he meant to so. Oh, my God. You were working your butt off with COVID patients and the housework was slacking. What are you, a maid? You're not a maid. Who cares if the housework was slacking like, first of all? Second, like, why is that your problem? You know, that's a communal problem. Wow. Okay. All right. The next thing that needs to happen, if you guys want to be together, two of pentacles change, a big change needs to happen here in the way that you actually operate as a couple. And it's so interesting seeing this come up here. I'm guessing from your from what you just said, that the housework was slacking and that was part of the problem because you were being an essential worker with patience. That's a big problem. That is a big, big, big problem. So there needs to be a complete overhaul with that, too. That too of of desks there. I'm like I almost like I almost can't speak you guys. I'm so like, oh, my goodness. And then your final one here is the page of Pentacles. This is very, very interesting. So in the first thing that I got, your husband was the king of pentacles, right? And he's very like shadow. He was risking his too, by stopping quote. Yeah, that doesn't matter, though. That's great. You guys were both risking your life as essential workers. But why are you also the housekeeper? Huh? That is the problem here. That's the problem. Page of Pentacles is what needs to happen. So your husband needs to stop being. He needs to stop being the king and be the page, right? So the page actually does not have as much power as the king. He he needs to let go of some of his power or some of his sense of power, some of his sense of entitlement. He needs to let go. The thing about the page of pentacles is they know that they're a beginner. They're just learning. They're just learning how this works. It's almost like your husband needs to recognize that he doesn't know how to be in a relationship. Oh, my gosh. I mean, that's a beautiful thing to actually admit. You know, so much of us don't know how to be in a relationship. Right? We're always I feel like I'm always learning how to better be in a relationship. It's good to have that kind of humility. It's like your husband needs to let go of this, like, patriarchal shit and just meet you as an equal, as somebody who also doesn't necessarily know how a house should be run. Maybe he was raised thinking the woman needs to clean the house. Okay, he's wrong. Can he admit that he's wrong and he doesn't know how a house should be operated? And you guys come together as a couple and figure out what works for the two of you. That's what needs to happen. I don't know if that's possible, because a lot of this is reliant on your husband, right? A lot of it is reliant on your husband. I of course, because there's a lot of red flags in this question. Right. He was definitely not raised that way. Okay, cool. Cool. You know, it's common enough, right? I mean, a lot of people think that that that housework is something that should fall on the femme person in the relationship. But for whatever reason, it sounds like that's an expectation and it doesn't seem like it should be.

So I did I did pick a card to ask, what does it look like if you actually accept that this isn't a good match, you know, and moved on. And here's what I got. This is these are the cards for you leaving this relationship. Okay, ten of Pentacles while the ten of Pentacles is actually quite beautiful. It is like it is. It's the very last card in the entire tarot deck. So there is a real sense of a big ending. But like that, you've done all you could, you've gotten all you could. Everything that could have happened has happened. All of the wealth, all of the resources that could have been sort of mined from this from this situation. You've gotten everything that you could get out of it. And there were good things to be gotten from it. But the next card that you get is the Ace of Pentacles. A whole new beginning for yourself. A whole new reality. A beginning and an ending right next to each other. It looks really powerful for me. To me? For you, is it? It looks powerful for. And then the final cut. This is very interesting. Again, another page, the page of cuts. So this is, I think, you being like, wow, I need to, you know, kind of feeling like a little bit of an emotional beginner. Okay. Like, wow, what what do I want in an in a relationship? What's good for me in a relationship? What kind of person do I want? What do I want to take on? You know, like what roles feel good for me? What roles don't feel good for me. You know what? What are red flags? You know, how do I play into red flags? You know, what are you know, all of these questions, the page of caps is just figuring it out. So, you know, you've been with this person for such a long, long time. And it just seems like when you get in a relationship really young, you're probably still living inside all of those very youthful turns, right? Yeah. 19. Oh, my goodness. A teenager. A teenager. So, you know, you, you know, did your best as your as your husband did. Right. But that's so young. You know, you do. You're probably caught in a lot of 19 year old patterns and now you're 35. So making a break, you know, I mean, honestly, if your husband can rise to the occasion, it does look good. But that's a big if only you guys know if that's possible. If it's not walking away. Looks beautiful for you. It really, really does. So I just I never want I don't want you to feel trapped in this situation. You are not trapped. You have a beautiful life ahead of you. If you choose to leave this, this is not like the end all. Be all. Please forgive yourself. Please, please, please. My God, I'm like, drooling. I'm like, I hate that you're, you know, it feels like you really got punked. You just start over one step at a time. I just picked a card for you for forgiving yourself, and it's the Empress. Okay? Just. Just if you can trust in some sort of energy that is. That's larger than you, that wants you to feel good, that wants you to have real love, unconditional love, that wants you to have a true and equal partner who supports you and wants you to really feel what that feels like. Like that is the energy that is supporting you. So giving yourself, knowing that, knowing that you did everything that you could do right, you're not a bad person. You know, people do all kinds of shit in relationships. And it sounds like you were set up a little bit. And this a deep breath is a good start. Emily A deep breath really is a good start. Lean on the other people in your life, aside from aside from your husband. Right. Leave on this little community right here. It's really scary to start over, but people do it all the time, right? Just think about it. It takes strength from knowing that, like, women leave relationships that are bad for them every single day. Right? Women do it with children. Women do it in situations that are even more harrowing. And you know something? I just picked another card and like, you might actually be able to have kids. Okay? All you have there is your mom and you can't stress her out. You know, like, that's a whole other question. Like, that sounds like you don't need to protect people from your reality. You know, there's I really recommend Al-Anon. I'm going to do it. You guys do. I always do this. I do. Wherever you are. There's an Al-Anon meeting. And you might think that, you know, you have to have like an alcoholic mom or husband to go. But it's not true. People go to help themselves figure out their people problems. And this is a people problem, right? Like being in relationship, how to be in relationship honestly and get what you want and take up that space. How to how to ask your mother for support, you know, you know how to. And also you'll make friends. You'll make friends with other people who are on a like a growth centric. But it looks like it looks like you might just have to trust a little bit that you can do it and really believe in yourself. I'm reading somebody in the chat right here says, as someone who had a major split at 35, it's so tough. But the other side is so, so rich and empowering, sending you so much love and powerful energy. Nicole We all are. We all have your back here. And I know that like, you know, it's 7:01. Pretty soon I'm going to end this room and you know, you're going to be wherever you are a little bit alone. But please know that energetically you're not alone. You have all of us rooting for you. And again, like you don't have to stay in a bad situation. People figure this out, just know that people who have like a lot less resources, you know, figure this out and you can figure it out, too. You have the Empress on the other side of all of this. It's really okay to feel like a beginner again.

Oh, gosh. You joined the military. Somebody joined the military. Oh, it's it's yeah. Out here join the military at 34 and showed up a ton of teens and 20 year olds. See. There you go. You have you have a lot. Energy. You just need to believe in yourself. Like, what's the what's the alternative? Staying in a relationship that's kind of torturing you, that that's blaming you for things that you shouldn't be blamed for. I don't like that. All right, you guys, thank you so much for all showing up, for being so wise all the time in the chat and so, so, like, beautifully. You just have such a beautiful energy. Thank you for being here. We'll be here again next Thursday. We'll be here every Thursday. And if you want to send in a question, please do I do get to them sometimes quickly, sometimes slowly. Oh, bits. Get here when you can get here. I mean, you know, if you have to miss this room because you're on a date, I think that's awesome, frankly. Okay. I'm going to end the room now. I love you guys. I'll see you next Thursday. Take care.

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Michelle Tea: Hi, friends. Remember to catch. Ask the tarot live right here on Spotify every Thursday at 9 p.m. Eastern. You can join me for a journey through the cycles of life, love, aspiration, all in real time. Want me to do a reading for you? Just download the Spotify Live app for free today. It's available in the App Store and you can join me every week I go live. You'll be able to meet really unique people, chat with other listeners, and even ask questions of your own. Remember, you can always listen to ask the Tarot live on Spotify every Thursday at 9 p.m. Eastern. Want to be part of the conversation? Download the Spotify Live app for free today and make sure to follow the Ask the Tarot show page to be notified every time we go live.

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